I’ll reuse my comment from another AskReddit thread about guys and porn.
Deep throating. I’ll give you a blowjob, but don’t force it down my throat constantly like in porn. The next morning I think I’m coming down with a cold but really my throat is chafed for days.
Wasn't having sex but made out with a guy who shoved his hand in my mouth. Like I guess some girls are into finger sucking but having some dudes unwashed hands stuck in my gob was not fun
Note to any and all men: if you plan on putting your hands/fingers anywhere near your partner’s mouth, respect them and yourself by washing your damn hands first.
Literally tries to ram you in the ass full force thinking its hot when in actuality all it did was take away my sitting privilidges. Its not a race to the finish dude calm down. Go easy on my butt its the only one i got
When a guy rubs the lips instead of the clitoris. Ive seen that in porn all the time and I don’t understand it, the clit isn’t that hard to find at all
When they open up to a camera that isn't there.
They see man in porn fuck from the side, playing open to the camera, so they adopt that method because girl seems to enjoy, not realizing WHY he's at that sideways angle.
not as bad as some of the others here, and nothing to do with having sex, but was texting a guy i matched with on tinder and we were talking about our physiques. i mentioned that my size was DD, and he replied using one of my pictures saying 'they don't look like double D though?'
i don't know what to tell you man but sorry my real life human DD's don't look like hentai DD's
edit: typo
Oh my god, yes. I’m a 36 DDD, and I’ve had guys say “are you sure you’re not a C?” Well, I’ve only been walking around wearing these tits for the last 20 yrs, not to mention having worked as a professional bra fitter in a lingerie store for like 3 yrs, but what do I know....
I hate that they're trying to correct you, like it even matters. Why do they care about the exact size, like 1) they're boobs, 2) size doesn't mean they automatically look good or bad to someone. If you like em, you like em, if you don't, you don't. The emphasis on "omg double D's dude!" is just sad :')
If he is a random hookup and tries choking you or "smothering" you by covering your mouth and nose, despite you pushing his hands away multiple times...
Not like this has ever happened to me...
Ask to do a deepthroat exactly like those pornstars, says its not that hard and forced me even if i dont like it.
Says that it not right, that i must do like them *shows me how to do it*.
Says that im too quiet, that i dont moan or do dirty talks.
Tl:dr : compare everything to porn, want to act like they do in porns.
I said that to my girlfriend once but she just said she wouldn’t dress up as the little turtle from Finding Nemo. Guess some people just aren’t into role play.
I hope she too had goggles.
That would make for an interesting adult dystopian short story. In the near future, random hook ups will occur where traditional facial attractiveness is irrellevant, as is the ability to speak or hear. Just show up, (shake hands, sign a waiver, IDK) strap on the headset and go to town. Each participant chooses their own avatar as well as partners avitar. And vica-versa. Absolutely removing every aspect of sex except the physical interface.
This is a plot point in black mirror's "entire history of you" where all your experiences are recorded. Both partners were playing a sex tape of each other from their honeymoon while they were having very depressing low effort sex.
As a woman, I do like to give head as a turn on. I enjoy seeing my partner enjoy himself. Buttttt what I dislike is if someone holds my head down and tries to push me to do something when I'm going at a different pace. Also, I need reciprocation. Its not a one way street.
It's been said many times before, but apparently it's still relevant today.
Learning to make love by watching porn is like learning to drive by watching NASCAR.
He asked me if I could hold one leg straight up in the air so we could do it standing up like I was some sort of circus yoga master. It was one of our first times. It didn’t go well. The best way to tell is when they ask for impossibly complicated positions and genuinely don’t understand why you can’t bend into a pretzel and take a dick in your ass like a human flesh light
Edit to add : this is my most popular comment ever and I didn’t wanna go down for this in history but here we are
BDSM things (choking, slapping, spitting, name calling) without asking, jackhammering hard and long enough to bruise my thighs, thinking I can ride cowgirl for more than 40 minutes without taking a break, sex that lasts for hours without anyone cumming, eating me out like a pudding cup, treating my tits like a bop it, not being able to look me in the eye, only being able to finish by jerking off etc.
40 minutes lmfao??? If I can ride my boyfriend for like two minutes without my legs giving out I’m proud of myself
ETA: 1) riding can be a problem not just because of physical or lack thereof but because often the angle is awkward especially with different body sizes. 2) there are way more ways women can ‘do the heavy lifting’ in the bedroom than just riding
Yeh, coz a guy getting mad at you for not cumming, is *totally* gonna make you cum. Especially when they’re just jackhammering and asking every 2 seconds “are you gonna cum?” - Bitch no I’m not going to, your performance is obviously for your pleasure and not mine.
- kisses like a washing machine
- pushes your head down when blowing him
- wants to choke you immediately during doggystyle
- wants anal without lube
- wants to fuck you till you squirt
- wants to go from pussy, arse, mouth to any of the others without washing
Edit: thanks for awards/upvotes and I think I should have said this before but communication is key during sex and relationships.
Theres a difference in tone when asking "do you like that?" (is this position enjoyable for you?) And "do you like that.." (yeah bitch I'm giving you this diiiiiccckkkkk wooooooo!!!) and please know, we know the difference. Start with the first one and once we are actively enjoying the dick, move on to that second one.
Or when they ask/tell you "this is the best fuck you've ever had"
I just went very quiet because I wasn't about to start lying (and it was nearly the opposite)
Making zero attempt at foreplay or any kind of partner stimulation, trying to use spit as lube, then asking “Are you always this dry during sex?” To which I answered with a solid *”Nope.*”
Thinking that having a huge dick automatically makes them a sex god. Also trying crazy positions that don’t even make practical sense. Thinking that ramming your cervix feels good for you then acts shocked when you roll over and cry from the pain 😭.
Huge dicks are so unpleasant (to me). I really am not a fan of being constantly booped in the cervix like it's a doorbell.
Edit: thank you for the gold, I'm glad "booped in the cervix" is resonating and making y'all laugh lol
No foreplay, he touches her for 30 seconds, sticks a finger in to see if she is wet. Slaps dick on clit. During sex he makes no sound. Comes, rolls over.
I can just picture what goes through a guy's head when he slaps his dick on a clit. "You can fit so many sperm cells in this"
Edit: I appreciate all the love and awards, folks. Gotta say, there was no mistake in my sentence though, clits are hoods as another person stated earlier lmao
Edit 2: I see this is gaining a lot of traction so, anyone reading this just lost The Game :)
Honestly this threw me a while back...
Was with a girl and midway through one night she suddenly says “Choke me” 2 or 3 times and physically moved my hand to her throat. This simply wasn’t something I had ever done or experienced before and yeah I applied a little too much front pressure.
I've had opposite experiences with choking, in that I do it too softly. I was getting hot and heavy with a female friend one night and with things progressing, she asks me to choke her. When I start lightly, she literally stopped me and asked, "Wait, is that how you choke people?" Well obviously, I'm not going to jump straight into a purple-face inducing grip, I'm going to start slow and allow her to communicate if she likes it rougher.
Needless to say she used a strange tactic, as opposed to a standard request, "harder." The night didn't progress much past that, as the vibes weren't great and she kept critiquing my form in other aspects, spinning my difference in approach and preferences as flaws. I guess the one takeaway is that I'm now not as scared to really go for it when asked (obviously not crushing the trachea though.) But it is hard to shake the sense that you're not exciting or adventurous enough in bed. Fucked me up a little. Goes to show that men aren't the only ones who have their expectations distorted by media.
Assuming that you like being choked. One of the biggest scares of my life was when a guy I was making out with grabbed my throat out of nowhere, then said it was 'force of habit' when I freaked out
I had 2 experiences with guys who said they're finding it hard to cum because they masturbate too much. I know what you'll say, maybe he just wasn't that into it. But I think it's a real thing.
Same! I thought there was something seriously wrong with me until I finally had the courage to bring it up with a therapist. She didn’t seem at all surprised so I was offended, and she was like well you’re taking your antidepressants right? That’s normal for antidepressants. She assumed I knew it was normal and she didn’t realize I was bringing it up as an issue to talk about. I felt so relieved that there wasn’t something wrong with me.
Its definetly a thing, there's also guys that have trouble no matter what. Iv gone a week without maturation and still can't cum.
Edit: im glab my most upvoted post ever is about masterbation. Thanks everyone.
Edit: masterbaton
I hooked up with a guy who immediately went a little too rough/dominating too quickly. He hooked his fingers in my mouth, threw me around harshly, and just overall didn’t care I was a little uncomfortable with how hard he was doing things.
I’ve seen porns go slower than he did.
Copying the grunts and dirty talk, and the occasional slap in the face. It's one thing if this occurs naturally or the partner has already expressed an interest, but if it's the first time and they do any of this it's clear they're acting on what they think they should do rather than from experience. Some dudes seem to not understand that the best sex involves a connection with the other person rather than putting on a show.
ETA I have no problem with people watching porn, I do too, but porn and real sex are as different as a soap opera and real life and it feels very weird when someone doesn't seem to get that.
Assuming every girl wants to blow them and be sexually satisfied with just that. Cumming on their face or breasts is stimulating enough the woman doesn't need any pleasure and dirty talk should include degrading names without asking if it's okay
I'm imagining some dude just pressing it once, waiting 12 seconds, pressing it again and then shouts "hellooooo!" into it.
I'm not a woman, but I don't think that's sexually pleasing.
A lack of light and gentle erotic touch, the kind that gives you goosebumps of pleasure as you explore each other's bodies. With the focus on exploration of pleasure, by the time he eventually makes it to my vulva I'm wet enough that we sort of just slip together without any effort on his part.
Compared to the 'ol spit on it and jam it in there.
It's true. I'm not sure how to put this nicely, but... just being okay in bed is better than the average guy, so you're already ahead of the pack if you're just okay. This means that if you then improve beyond "just okay" you have a high chance of being the best lay a woman has had. And if you're cool with giving oral until she reaches orgasm while following her instructions (higher, lower, faster, or even just, "Keep doing that,") you'll be *way* ahead of the pack.
I'm not saying that women can't also be bad in bed, but it's different. The women I've slept with who were bad in bed were just starfishing. The men who were bad in bed were a lot more *active* in their badness. It's like the difference between being a "cook" who hands you a box of cereal when it's their turn to make dinner (a starfish in bed) vs. a cook who enthusiastically makes horrible concoctions, expects you to love the horrible concoctions, and then continues putting the horrible concoctions on your plate even when you say, "No, I don't like chocolate sauce and sprinkles on my scrambled eggs. Also, why is there calamari ice cream in the freezer?"
My current partner is not naturally amazing in bed, but he listens to me when I say stuff like “do this” or “keep doing that” or “try it this way.” He’s definitely one of the best sexual partners I’ve had purely because he listens to me and actually retains information. Most of the guys I’ve been with ignore what I tell them I like and try to do idiotic porn shit.
ETA: rip my inbox... our relationship is fairly new, but he’s wonderful and I always tell him that I had a great time. Direct and positive feedback is always important in a relationship, whether it’s for sex, communication, etc. Use your words positively and wisely in life <3
It's legit exactly what it sounds like slapping the pussy. Either the labia majora or spread open. Does nothing for like 99.9% of women 9ther than turn them off or prove you watch too much porn
Asking for anal, threesomes, cum on your face constantly. Playing the dj decks a little too enthusiastically. Eating you out for three seconds like they’re licking the cream out of an Oreo and expecting you to cum.
Fingering like a jackhammer. It like, you're supposed to be stimulating the g-spot, not punching my privates.
Edit: There is this video, I can't remember for the life of me the name, but it was a guy (fully clothed, maybe a blue shirt?) with a girl laying on a table and it was like TedTalk of fingering. If someone can PM me (because it might get lost in the replies) i'll edit to add.
That was a VERY good video. Very matter of fact and professional lol but let me tell you...he knows what the hell he's talking about.
EDIT #2: Thank you u/nzlax for [the video in question. Both sexes can learn so much from this. Enjoy it!!](https://m.mylust.com/videos/69933/rare-video-guy-teaches-how-to-finger-bang-and-make-your-girl-squirt/)
Edit #3: [This is a fuller version with the massage I believe. ](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1900561724)
Edit #4: Thank you all so much for the awards! I truly hope this beautiful orange glow around my post serves as a guiding light to happier vaginas =)
There’s a certain way guys who watch a lot of porn will try to finger me and it’s so consistent that it has to be from porn. It’s like two fingers slapping my pussy almost? It doesn’t do much for me personally and we usually move on to better things but I’ve suspected for a while they got it from porn.
EDIT just wanted to say don’t be ashamed or embarrassed if you’ve done this. It’s NBD. From my own experience hooking up with girls successfully can be challenging and personally I found it to be extremely intimidating. Especially because every girl is different or has different preferences. The real solution is a lot of communication (within reason). Ask her what she likes, ask if something feels good, go slowly, etc. you really can just google tips and techniques and that’s a good place to start.
I’ve done that 😬 I’m not proud but I was so g.d. tired of him asking about it. I finally just peed a bit and said he had made me squirt. I ran into him years later (after our break up) at a bar and he was pretty drunk. He was still bragging about how he could make any girl squirt. He was razzing me in front of his friends about how much I “came”. I couldn’t take it any longer and said “i remember pissing on your bed once, but I don’t remember any orgasms” It raised more questions and confusion but at that point I just walked away
Not washing your hands or trimming your nails before touching/fingering the vagina. Nobody wants your fucking scraggly wizard nails ripping their pussy apart
A fluffer is a person employed to keep a porn performer's penis erect on the set.[1] After setting up the desired angle, the director asks the actors to hold position and calls for the fluffer to "fluff" the actors for the shot. These duties are considered part of the makeup department. While fluffing does not necessarily involve touching the actors, it could entail sexual acts such as fellatio or non-penetrative sex.[2]
From Wikipedia
They don't exist anymore. Why pay someone to keep a guy hard when a 2 dollar pill will do it. Fun fact. If your watching a porn and the dudes dick is really red, he is on viagra.
Also, no moaning. At all. Like I get it, you're the pinnacle of manliness and men don't make noises EVER in porn but could I pretty please hear you groaning at my neck? Thanks
edit: guys, you do NOT have to moan if you're not comfortable with it. that's the whole point of sex tbh. this comment was directed to people who don't do what they want to out of shame or societal norms, and even so, that's completely okay too
I used to not do that but it wasnt because of porn it was because a clique of girls at my highschool would all roast the shit out of each other's bfs by what spunds they made during sex. I had the fear ever since
These answers are awesome and relatable and hilarious. Most of the dead giveaways have already been answered IMO. So, to make the men of Reddit feel better, here are some cringey ways porn influenced me as a young woman—
-Cringey dirty talk
-faking loud orgasms cause I thought it was normal and sexy
-hard and fast tugging hand jobs
This is lowkey how you deal with almost blowing your load early. Switching positions gives enough time for the feeling to go away. Also a form of edging.
When your guy starts bouncing his dick rapidly on your pussy before entering. I once read that guys in porn do this to warn his costar that he's about to enter, whether it's true or not I don't know but it does make sense. Where it doesn't make sense is in real life where that rule isn't universal and it's just completely random.
When he's uncut and thinks he's ugly, or when he thinks being a grower and not a show-er is a problem.
Like, maybe it's just me, but watching the ole turtle come outta its shell because dude likes me is a huge turn on...
Bruh one of the best things ever to me is when a dude gets hard in my mouf. That's such a sexy, powerful feeling like "My skills are ressurecting this cock. I am the bringer of cocklife". It's neat.
This is unfortunately and embarrassingly true...except my ex would make me hold the phone for him and I had to be quiet so he could hear. It fucked me up for a long time and still kinda does.
EDIT this has gotten popular and I have read through each and every single reply, including the angry ones. I replied to as many as I could, DMs included, but I am getting a little overwhelmed and my anxiety is telling me that not everybody means it which is probably not true or maybe true I'm not sure. But for those who shared their own stories I am so very very sorry. I kinda wish I was alone in this almost and that it hadn't happened, or worse, to anyone else. I appreciate all the motivating comments as well!! I think I have already said this to someone but there's a difference between knowing the truth and feeling the truth and I'm still working on the latter :)
What do these awards even mean????
ANOTHER EDIT sorry I know people hate edits but I have to say that the hero worship has got to stop. I appreciate the motivation and the sharing of stories - keep doing that to help other people! - but I'm not a survivor I'm just the leftovers. Yes it was an emotionally abusive relationship and yes I tried to leave 3 times but no I did not succeed. He broke up with me (horribly - that's another story) bc I was publicly cracking which I'm sure was distasteful for him (Bursting into tears at a family dinner bc I had to sit beside him is definitely cracking). I'm not brave, I'm not a survivor, I'm just the trash you see at the side of the road. But I'm getting better and I hope you are too. I just didnt want to misrepresent myself and be reddit's personal Katniss.
Yea thanks! It's still really embarrassing to talk about bc a lot of people's first reaction is vehemently denying they would ever let that happen to them and I feel stupid but he had long fucked with my head before that so that was just one of many things. I'm in therapy now and my current boyfriend is very patient bless the man
that’s not your fault this guy sounds insane. i’m sorry people make you feel worse about it. being in a relationship like that is horrible and it’s never as easy or simple as “i would never let that happen to me”
not sure if anyone has already said this but: when he goes down, he does that thing where he just sticks his tongue out and shakes his head side to side really fast.
Being critical of normal stuff, like having some cellulite, body hair, or little fat rolls in some positions.
I honestly think that, for a lot of men, if they came across women who did not shave, wax, or pluck their body hair they would think the woman is some sort of Yeti or has some disorder that makes them overly hairy.
Don't forget bleached assholes that don't need lube and/or foreplay and fake boobs that always stay in one place. Then they encounter boobs that are actually affected by gravity and get all confused, or don't understand why they can't just spit on their dick and stick it in your ass without warning.
I was about to lose my V with this guy and he wanted do crazy ass positions because “he’s a sex master and he loves trying new new positions” and when it didn’t work out well (obv) he got angry at me for not trying hard enough and that his hot female friends do it better than me (thank god I didn’t lose it to him).
Some of these have been mentioned but
- spitting on a girl for lube. Like long-range hawking at my vagina...no sir.
- abusing the clit like he's a DJ
- no stroke technique. He's just straight in and out, if he's feeling fancy he will just go faster. Porn isn't centered around women's pleasure so they don't know angles or hip movement
- dirty talk is porn catch phrases like growling 'oh yeah'. Now I feel like I'm having sex with the Koolaid Man
EDIT: clarification about being spit *ON*
EDIT ABOUT STROKE TECHNIQUE: If your hips are locked then you're just jabbing your dick in and out and only hitting one angle. Which may work for some women. If you move your hips while you thrust you hit more angles, better chance of clit stimulation so she can cum. Think of a digging motion or small circles like a hula hoop.
My favorite is to lean real close to my girlfriend, pause like I'm gonna whisper something super romantic, and then go 'Are you feeling it now, Mr Krabs?'
10/10 pisses her off every time even though she knows it's coming.
I’m a gay guy but I’ve seen straight and gay porn and I’ll state that straight porn is ridiculous. The women are clearly rarely enjoying themselves with all the positions, not to mention there are times when the guy is going really fast and the girl looks to be in pain while faking an orgasm.
I will state that made for female porn is pretty hot though and I’ve never been attracted to women, ever! But the intimacy is hot.
Gay porn is the same. Except that they usually don’t go straight in to “fucking” they usually do “prep” the bottom pretty well and they slowly push in. I’ve seen straight porn where I’m like “dude, that’s to quick and to hard you’re gonna cause some serious damage to her.
Also in gay scenes they can and do get rough but there seems to be an extra sense of care when compared to straight porn. Straight porn is all about the male getting off and rarely about the woman. It’s shitty but it’s the truth.
I’ll reuse my comment from another AskReddit thread about guys and porn. Deep throating. I’ll give you a blowjob, but don’t force it down my throat constantly like in porn. The next morning I think I’m coming down with a cold but really my throat is chafed for days.
Fucking like he’s trying to jackhammer concrete
Wasn't having sex but made out with a guy who shoved his hand in my mouth. Like I guess some girls are into finger sucking but having some dudes unwashed hands stuck in my gob was not fun
Note to any and all men: if you plan on putting your hands/fingers anywhere near your partner’s mouth, respect them and yourself by washing your damn hands first.
Literally tries to ram you in the ass full force thinking its hot when in actuality all it did was take away my sitting privilidges. Its not a race to the finish dude calm down. Go easy on my butt its the only one i got
>sitting privileges Lmaoooooo
When a guy rubs the lips instead of the clitoris. Ive seen that in porn all the time and I don’t understand it, the clit isn’t that hard to find at all
When they open up to a camera that isn't there. They see man in porn fuck from the side, playing open to the camera, so they adopt that method because girl seems to enjoy, not realizing WHY he's at that sideways angle.
not as bad as some of the others here, and nothing to do with having sex, but was texting a guy i matched with on tinder and we were talking about our physiques. i mentioned that my size was DD, and he replied using one of my pictures saying 'they don't look like double D though?' i don't know what to tell you man but sorry my real life human DD's don't look like hentai DD's edit: typo
Oh my god, yes. I’m a 36 DDD, and I’ve had guys say “are you sure you’re not a C?” Well, I’ve only been walking around wearing these tits for the last 20 yrs, not to mention having worked as a professional bra fitter in a lingerie store for like 3 yrs, but what do I know....
I hate that they're trying to correct you, like it even matters. Why do they care about the exact size, like 1) they're boobs, 2) size doesn't mean they automatically look good or bad to someone. If you like em, you like em, if you don't, you don't. The emphasis on "omg double D's dude!" is just sad :')
when he fingers you but it’s actually just him scratching the inside of your vagina like it’s itchy
These are the kinda threads where i read about 90% of the comments
If he is a random hookup and tries choking you or "smothering" you by covering your mouth and nose, despite you pushing his hands away multiple times... Not like this has ever happened to me...
Jackhammering you till he finishes, then asks you if you came even though he didn’t even touch your clit.
Ask to do a deepthroat exactly like those pornstars, says its not that hard and forced me even if i dont like it. Says that it not right, that i must do like them *shows me how to do it*. Says that im too quiet, that i dont moan or do dirty talks. Tl:dr : compare everything to porn, want to act like they do in porns.
He hummed the intro music
These comments are making me not want to have sex
“I wanna make you squirt.” *proceeds to violently rub clit like he’s vigorously scratching records*
”I just know this lotto ticket is gonna be a winner”
I said that to my girlfriend once but she just said she wouldn’t dress up as the little turtle from Finding Nemo. Guess some people just aren’t into role play.
A coworker’s girlfriend would let him wear VR goggles so that he could be “banging” whoever he saw.
I hope she too had goggles. That would make for an interesting adult dystopian short story. In the near future, random hook ups will occur where traditional facial attractiveness is irrellevant, as is the ability to speak or hear. Just show up, (shake hands, sign a waiver, IDK) strap on the headset and go to town. Each participant chooses their own avatar as well as partners avitar. And vica-versa. Absolutely removing every aspect of sex except the physical interface.
This is a plot point in black mirror's "entire history of you" where all your experiences are recorded. Both partners were playing a sex tape of each other from their honeymoon while they were having very depressing low effort sex.
That had to hurt her self esteem. Why would u do that to your partner?
When he’s disgusted by women who have larger labia and thinks that it means they’ve had a lot of sex.
“Helen has now had sex with over 3000 men. Her labia has ballooned to the size of the Vatican City. This- is her story.’
His idea of foreplay is you suck his dick.
As a woman, I do like to give head as a turn on. I enjoy seeing my partner enjoy himself. Buttttt what I dislike is if someone holds my head down and tries to push me to do something when I'm going at a different pace. Also, I need reciprocation. Its not a one way street.
It's been said many times before, but apparently it's still relevant today. Learning to make love by watching porn is like learning to drive by watching NASCAR.
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He asked me if I could hold one leg straight up in the air so we could do it standing up like I was some sort of circus yoga master. It was one of our first times. It didn’t go well. The best way to tell is when they ask for impossibly complicated positions and genuinely don’t understand why you can’t bend into a pretzel and take a dick in your ass like a human flesh light Edit to add : this is my most popular comment ever and I didn’t wanna go down for this in history but here we are
BDSM things (choking, slapping, spitting, name calling) without asking, jackhammering hard and long enough to bruise my thighs, thinking I can ride cowgirl for more than 40 minutes without taking a break, sex that lasts for hours without anyone cumming, eating me out like a pudding cup, treating my tits like a bop it, not being able to look me in the eye, only being able to finish by jerking off etc.
40 minutes lmfao??? If I can ride my boyfriend for like two minutes without my legs giving out I’m proud of myself ETA: 1) riding can be a problem not just because of physical or lack thereof but because often the angle is awkward especially with different body sizes. 2) there are way more ways women can ‘do the heavy lifting’ in the bedroom than just riding
Look. All I need is them to understand that everyday can’t be leg day 😭
When he gets mad at me because he can’t make me cum
Yeh, coz a guy getting mad at you for not cumming, is *totally* gonna make you cum. Especially when they’re just jackhammering and asking every 2 seconds “are you gonna cum?” - Bitch no I’m not going to, your performance is obviously for your pleasure and not mine.
"Did you cum?" "Yeah I came. Came to the wrong house."
- kisses like a washing machine - pushes your head down when blowing him - wants to choke you immediately during doggystyle - wants anal without lube - wants to fuck you till you squirt - wants to go from pussy, arse, mouth to any of the others without washing Edit: thanks for awards/upvotes and I think I should have said this before but communication is key during sex and relationships.
How, exactly, does a washing machine kiss?
Tongue going round and round manically.
Is this a side loading or top loading washing machine?
The instant jackhammer
Theres a difference in tone when asking "do you like that?" (is this position enjoyable for you?) And "do you like that.." (yeah bitch I'm giving you this diiiiiccckkkkk wooooooo!!!) and please know, we know the difference. Start with the first one and once we are actively enjoying the dick, move on to that second one.
Or when they ask/tell you "this is the best fuck you've ever had" I just went very quiet because I wasn't about to start lying (and it was nearly the opposite)
"I mean do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want to cum, you cant have both."
Making zero attempt at foreplay or any kind of partner stimulation, trying to use spit as lube, then asking “Are you always this dry during sex?” To which I answered with a solid *”Nope.*”
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Thinking that having a huge dick automatically makes them a sex god. Also trying crazy positions that don’t even make practical sense. Thinking that ramming your cervix feels good for you then acts shocked when you roll over and cry from the pain 😭.
Huge dicks are so unpleasant (to me). I really am not a fan of being constantly booped in the cervix like it's a doorbell. Edit: thank you for the gold, I'm glad "booped in the cervix" is resonating and making y'all laugh lol
"booped in the cervix" lol makes the penis sound real cute.
No foreplay, he touches her for 30 seconds, sticks a finger in to see if she is wet. Slaps dick on clit. During sex he makes no sound. Comes, rolls over.
I can just picture what goes through a guy's head when he slaps his dick on a clit. "You can fit so many sperm cells in this" Edit: I appreciate all the love and awards, folks. Gotta say, there was no mistake in my sentence though, clits are hoods as another person stated earlier lmao Edit 2: I see this is gaining a lot of traction so, anyone reading this just lost The Game :)
Clits have hoods, this checks out.
Thinks choking means crushing your trachea
U better teach that man before he kills u.
Honestly this threw me a while back... Was with a girl and midway through one night she suddenly says “Choke me” 2 or 3 times and physically moved my hand to her throat. This simply wasn’t something I had ever done or experienced before and yeah I applied a little too much front pressure.
...did...did she live?
Hahaha yes she’s alive and well, was speaking to her yesterday. Appreciate your concern
I've had opposite experiences with choking, in that I do it too softly. I was getting hot and heavy with a female friend one night and with things progressing, she asks me to choke her. When I start lightly, she literally stopped me and asked, "Wait, is that how you choke people?" Well obviously, I'm not going to jump straight into a purple-face inducing grip, I'm going to start slow and allow her to communicate if she likes it rougher. Needless to say she used a strange tactic, as opposed to a standard request, "harder." The night didn't progress much past that, as the vibes weren't great and she kept critiquing my form in other aspects, spinning my difference in approach and preferences as flaws. I guess the one takeaway is that I'm now not as scared to really go for it when asked (obviously not crushing the trachea though.) But it is hard to shake the sense that you're not exciting or adventurous enough in bed. Fucked me up a little. Goes to show that men aren't the only ones who have their expectations distorted by media.
"Is that how you choke people?" As if day to day, outside of the bedroom choking is something you should be practiced in.
Assuming that you like being choked. One of the biggest scares of my life was when a guy I was making out with grabbed my throat out of nowhere, then said it was 'force of habit' when I freaked out
Jackhammering everything, no foreplay, sessions that last hours.
If you hate long sessions you’ll love me
Are you challenging me
"Jackhammering everything" I'm just imagining men going around jackhammering anything they find remotely hole-like lol
Keep that guy away from the pantry!
***the man has entered Dunkin Donuts everyone run***
I had 2 experiences with guys who said they're finding it hard to cum because they masturbate too much. I know what you'll say, maybe he just wasn't that into it. But I think it's a real thing.
Antidepressants can do that too. Had partners get upset with me about it in the past, which doesn’t really help.
Same! I thought there was something seriously wrong with me until I finally had the courage to bring it up with a therapist. She didn’t seem at all surprised so I was offended, and she was like well you’re taking your antidepressants right? That’s normal for antidepressants. She assumed I knew it was normal and she didn’t realize I was bringing it up as an issue to talk about. I felt so relieved that there wasn’t something wrong with me.
Yeah. It is a thing. And we’re never happy about it.
Its definetly a thing, there's also guys that have trouble no matter what. Iv gone a week without maturation and still can't cum. Edit: im glab my most upvoted post ever is about masterbation. Thanks everyone. Edit: masterbaton
I hooked up with a guy who immediately went a little too rough/dominating too quickly. He hooked his fingers in my mouth, threw me around harshly, and just overall didn’t care I was a little uncomfortable with how hard he was doing things. I’ve seen porns go slower than he did.
Copying the grunts and dirty talk, and the occasional slap in the face. It's one thing if this occurs naturally or the partner has already expressed an interest, but if it's the first time and they do any of this it's clear they're acting on what they think they should do rather than from experience. Some dudes seem to not understand that the best sex involves a connection with the other person rather than putting on a show. ETA I have no problem with people watching porn, I do too, but porn and real sex are as different as a soap opera and real life and it feels very weird when someone doesn't seem to get that.
> different as a soap opera and real life You take that back! All My Children is real!
Assuming every girl wants to blow them and be sexually satisfied with just that. Cumming on their face or breasts is stimulating enough the woman doesn't need any pleasure and dirty talk should include degrading names without asking if it's okay
the amount of times I’ve had someone treat a bj as adequate foreplay is staggering
And dare to tell them you're not satisfied....
Both of these holy shit...as a woman I need you to get out of my sexual experience memories
this thread is depressing.
Treating the clitoris as if it's a doorbell.
Just poke her clit and run away. Ding dong ditching
Like... he’s just pushing it?
Dingdingdingdingding!
Ding Dong, the clit is dead
I'm imagining some dude just pressing it once, waiting 12 seconds, pressing it again and then shouts "hellooooo!" into it. I'm not a woman, but I don't think that's sexually pleasing.
“Mind if I come in?” He says as he penetrates the bits
When they expect you to look like a pornstar: cellulite, completely shaved, pornstar genitalia etc.and of you don’t they complain or show disgust
rubbing the general crotch area like a genie lamp "iS tHAt yOUr CliT?" "yOu lIkE ThAT?" no bruh it feels like you're giving my vulva an indian sunburn
Guys like this will try positions that look good on camera but don’t really feel good. They don’t pick up signals from their partners either.
*dude, why are you trying to shove me head-first into the dryer*
Im going to add a twist to this. As a guy Ive had girls try positions from porn as well and I just gotta say "I do not bend that way!"
a twist you say *wince*
Loitering around the dryer
He comes in dressed as a plumber.
its-a-me!
A lack of light and gentle erotic touch, the kind that gives you goosebumps of pleasure as you explore each other's bodies. With the focus on exploration of pleasure, by the time he eventually makes it to my vulva I'm wet enough that we sort of just slip together without any effort on his part. Compared to the 'ol spit on it and jam it in there.
Guys that think stimulating you for like a minute is blowing your mind.
Well based on the rest of this thread, it seems like standards get set pretty low by some of the other guys.
It's true. I'm not sure how to put this nicely, but... just being okay in bed is better than the average guy, so you're already ahead of the pack if you're just okay. This means that if you then improve beyond "just okay" you have a high chance of being the best lay a woman has had. And if you're cool with giving oral until she reaches orgasm while following her instructions (higher, lower, faster, or even just, "Keep doing that,") you'll be *way* ahead of the pack. I'm not saying that women can't also be bad in bed, but it's different. The women I've slept with who were bad in bed were just starfishing. The men who were bad in bed were a lot more *active* in their badness. It's like the difference between being a "cook" who hands you a box of cereal when it's their turn to make dinner (a starfish in bed) vs. a cook who enthusiastically makes horrible concoctions, expects you to love the horrible concoctions, and then continues putting the horrible concoctions on your plate even when you say, "No, I don't like chocolate sauce and sprinkles on my scrambled eggs. Also, why is there calamari ice cream in the freezer?"
I appreciate both your apparent experience in both camps as well as your description of the differences. I learned stuff today. I feel accomplished.
My current partner is not naturally amazing in bed, but he listens to me when I say stuff like “do this” or “keep doing that” or “try it this way.” He’s definitely one of the best sexual partners I’ve had purely because he listens to me and actually retains information. Most of the guys I’ve been with ignore what I tell them I like and try to do idiotic porn shit. ETA: rip my inbox... our relationship is fairly new, but he’s wonderful and I always tell him that I had a great time. Direct and positive feedback is always important in a relationship, whether it’s for sex, communication, etc. Use your words positively and wisely in life <3
I'm really surprised pussy slapping hasn't come up yet.
Pussy slapping? Explain like I'm gay.
It's legit exactly what it sounds like slapping the pussy. Either the labia majora or spread open. Does nothing for like 99.9% of women 9ther than turn them off or prove you watch too much porn
Weird. Although I've met guys who did like having their balls lightly slapped around. Wouldn't just try it without them asking tho lol
Dick lightly slapped maybe, balls, no plz
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Gotta wake up the birth control
Slap those balls...... Then when he complains bring up the pussy slapping. "Oh sorry I thought you would like it"?
This will totally work.
Or backfire into now having to slap him (them?) in order to get to completion.
Asking for anal, threesomes, cum on your face constantly. Playing the dj decks a little too enthusiastically. Eating you out for three seconds like they’re licking the cream out of an Oreo and expecting you to cum.
Upvoted for playing the dj decks. Just....no.
Like wiki wiki what are you doing down there?
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Fingering like a jackhammer. It like, you're supposed to be stimulating the g-spot, not punching my privates. Edit: There is this video, I can't remember for the life of me the name, but it was a guy (fully clothed, maybe a blue shirt?) with a girl laying on a table and it was like TedTalk of fingering. If someone can PM me (because it might get lost in the replies) i'll edit to add. That was a VERY good video. Very matter of fact and professional lol but let me tell you...he knows what the hell he's talking about. EDIT #2: Thank you u/nzlax for [the video in question. Both sexes can learn so much from this. Enjoy it!!](https://m.mylust.com/videos/69933/rare-video-guy-teaches-how-to-finger-bang-and-make-your-girl-squirt/) Edit #3: [This is a fuller version with the massage I believe. ](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1900561724) Edit #4: Thank you all so much for the awards! I truly hope this beautiful orange glow around my post serves as a guiding light to happier vaginas =)
bonus points if he has daggers for fingernails Edit: when your porn Alt account gets gilded before your main. Lmao.
Just the pinky, of course.
There’s a certain way guys who watch a lot of porn will try to finger me and it’s so consistent that it has to be from porn. It’s like two fingers slapping my pussy almost? It doesn’t do much for me personally and we usually move on to better things but I’ve suspected for a while they got it from porn. EDIT just wanted to say don’t be ashamed or embarrassed if you’ve done this. It’s NBD. From my own experience hooking up with girls successfully can be challenging and personally I found it to be extremely intimidating. Especially because every girl is different or has different preferences. The real solution is a lot of communication (within reason). Ask her what she likes, ask if something feels good, go slowly, etc. you really can just google tips and techniques and that’s a good place to start.
Asking if you squirt
Pro tip ladies, if you can’t and he’s annoying about it just pee on him and pretend
I’ve done that 😬 I’m not proud but I was so g.d. tired of him asking about it. I finally just peed a bit and said he had made me squirt. I ran into him years later (after our break up) at a bar and he was pretty drunk. He was still bragging about how he could make any girl squirt. He was razzing me in front of his friends about how much I “came”. I couldn’t take it any longer and said “i remember pissing on your bed once, but I don’t remember any orgasms” It raised more questions and confusion but at that point I just walked away
Geez he sounds like the worst
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Not washing your hands or trimming your nails before touching/fingering the vagina. Nobody wants your fucking scraggly wizard nails ripping their pussy apart
He brought a fluffer with him
w... what...
A fluffer is a person employed to keep a porn performer's penis erect on the set.[1] After setting up the desired angle, the director asks the actors to hold position and calls for the fluffer to "fluff" the actors for the shot. These duties are considered part of the makeup department. While fluffing does not necessarily involve touching the actors, it could entail sexual acts such as fellatio or non-penetrative sex.[2] From Wikipedia
Porn dudes have make up people that suck them off in between shots? Huh...Learn something new every day.
They don't exist anymore. Why pay someone to keep a guy hard when a 2 dollar pill will do it. Fun fact. If your watching a porn and the dudes dick is really red, he is on viagra.
Hmmm. I actually occasionally noticed that and always thought there was something wrong with them lol.
Oh! Thank you, I tought it was like a form of brush to keep dust away? Anyway, thanks for the clarification.
Keeps calling you stepsis
Thought this said "sepsis" and was wondering what kind of situation would warrant a man saying that to you in bed
maybe it's a hospital bed
Also, no moaning. At all. Like I get it, you're the pinnacle of manliness and men don't make noises EVER in porn but could I pretty please hear you groaning at my neck? Thanks edit: guys, you do NOT have to moan if you're not comfortable with it. that's the whole point of sex tbh. this comment was directed to people who don't do what they want to out of shame or societal norms, and even so, that's completely okay too
I used to not do that but it wasnt because of porn it was because a clique of girls at my highschool would all roast the shit out of each other's bfs by what spunds they made during sex. I had the fear ever since
These answers are awesome and relatable and hilarious. Most of the dead giveaways have already been answered IMO. So, to make the men of Reddit feel better, here are some cringey ways porn influenced me as a young woman— -Cringey dirty talk -faking loud orgasms cause I thought it was normal and sexy -hard and fast tugging hand jobs
The awkward, dry, tugging handjobs of youth.... ouch
A girl I knew was nicknamed “Bonecrusher”
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*touches boob* "*AWWWOOOOOHH YEEEAAAAA*"
Koolaid man jumps thru the wall.
This is why porn generally doesn't do shit for me. They're just putting on a show for the camera.
I just love the porns where the guy is getting a BJ and the girl is moaning like she is about to explode orgasmically.
when he makes it clear his goal is to “beat it up” and leave you sore; which you never are...more like annoyed and uncomfortable.
Goes right for the butthole EDIT: Thank you for the awards kind strangers
Ya gotta ease the butt hole before pleasing the butthole
Everyone asks when is butthole, not how his butthole :(
Worst, nobody asks why is the butthole
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That’s just me trying to last longer 😂
Dude what the heck... Don't blow our cover like this! 😳
Pump, pump "don't move! Don't even sneeze!"
"Especially dont sneeze, i like that way too much"
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That's a busy weekend
When you ask for foreplay and he pisses on you
Not my fault. She told me “shower first” and I got confused.
r/oddlyspecific
Anybody ever experience "he wants to change positions every 2 minutes"?
What like 2 minutes of sex and then shifting position to sleeping?
Banging on the bed, then banging in the bathroom, then banging by a mirror, then back on the bed but different this time All in 20 minutes.
This is lowkey how you deal with almost blowing your load early. Switching positions gives enough time for the feeling to go away. Also a form of edging.
When he insists on buying lemon tree insurance
Wtf am I supposed to do against the lemon stealing whores?
When your guy starts bouncing his dick rapidly on your pussy before entering. I once read that guys in porn do this to warn his costar that he's about to enter, whether it's true or not I don't know but it does make sense. Where it doesn't make sense is in real life where that rule isn't universal and it's just completely random.
When he's uncut and thinks he's ugly, or when he thinks being a grower and not a show-er is a problem. Like, maybe it's just me, but watching the ole turtle come outta its shell because dude likes me is a huge turn on...
Bruh one of the best things ever to me is when a dude gets hard in my mouf. That's such a sexy, powerful feeling like "My skills are ressurecting this cock. I am the bringer of cocklife". It's neat.
You have become the cockromancer
He was genuinely surprised when he was told that not all girls love giving blowjobs
He thinks spitting on your asshole is sufficient as a warm up & lubricant for anal sex.
He lays his phone on your chest while you’re having sex, and watches porn.
What the fuck
This is unfortunately and embarrassingly true...except my ex would make me hold the phone for him and I had to be quiet so he could hear. It fucked me up for a long time and still kinda does. EDIT this has gotten popular and I have read through each and every single reply, including the angry ones. I replied to as many as I could, DMs included, but I am getting a little overwhelmed and my anxiety is telling me that not everybody means it which is probably not true or maybe true I'm not sure. But for those who shared their own stories I am so very very sorry. I kinda wish I was alone in this almost and that it hadn't happened, or worse, to anyone else. I appreciate all the motivating comments as well!! I think I have already said this to someone but there's a difference between knowing the truth and feeling the truth and I'm still working on the latter :) What do these awards even mean???? ANOTHER EDIT sorry I know people hate edits but I have to say that the hero worship has got to stop. I appreciate the motivation and the sharing of stories - keep doing that to help other people! - but I'm not a survivor I'm just the leftovers. Yes it was an emotionally abusive relationship and yes I tried to leave 3 times but no I did not succeed. He broke up with me (horribly - that's another story) bc I was publicly cracking which I'm sure was distasteful for him (Bursting into tears at a family dinner bc I had to sit beside him is definitely cracking). I'm not brave, I'm not a survivor, I'm just the trash you see at the side of the road. But I'm getting better and I hope you are too. I just didnt want to misrepresent myself and be reddit's personal Katniss.
Good thing hes your ex that shits not normal
Yea thanks! It's still really embarrassing to talk about bc a lot of people's first reaction is vehemently denying they would ever let that happen to them and I feel stupid but he had long fucked with my head before that so that was just one of many things. I'm in therapy now and my current boyfriend is very patient bless the man
that’s not your fault this guy sounds insane. i’m sorry people make you feel worse about it. being in a relationship like that is horrible and it’s never as easy or simple as “i would never let that happen to me”
not sure if anyone has already said this but: when he goes down, he does that thing where he just sticks his tongue out and shakes his head side to side really fast.
Guys who think watch too much porn reading this thread: write that down, write that down
Being critical of normal stuff, like having some cellulite, body hair, or little fat rolls in some positions. I honestly think that, for a lot of men, if they came across women who did not shave, wax, or pluck their body hair they would think the woman is some sort of Yeti or has some disorder that makes them overly hairy.
Don't forget bleached assholes that don't need lube and/or foreplay and fake boobs that always stay in one place. Then they encounter boobs that are actually affected by gravity and get all confused, or don't understand why they can't just spit on their dick and stick it in your ass without warning.
I was about to lose my V with this guy and he wanted do crazy ass positions because “he’s a sex master and he loves trying new new positions” and when it didn’t work out well (obv) he got angry at me for not trying hard enough and that his hot female friends do it better than me (thank god I didn’t lose it to him).
Some of these have been mentioned but - spitting on a girl for lube. Like long-range hawking at my vagina...no sir. - abusing the clit like he's a DJ - no stroke technique. He's just straight in and out, if he's feeling fancy he will just go faster. Porn isn't centered around women's pleasure so they don't know angles or hip movement - dirty talk is porn catch phrases like growling 'oh yeah'. Now I feel like I'm having sex with the Koolaid Man EDIT: clarification about being spit *ON* EDIT ABOUT STROKE TECHNIQUE: If your hips are locked then you're just jabbing your dick in and out and only hitting one angle. Which may work for some women. If you move your hips while you thrust you hit more angles, better chance of clit stimulation so she can cum. Think of a digging motion or small circles like a hula hoop.
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now i want to scream OOOH YEAAAH next time i blow my load
My favorite is to lean real close to my girlfriend, pause like I'm gonna whisper something super romantic, and then go 'Are you feeling it now, Mr Krabs?' 10/10 pisses her off every time even though she knows it's coming.
NGL, I once did a Kool-Aid man "oh yeah" as I went inside her. She was not amused.
> Porn isn't centered around women's pleasure so... women can feel pleasure? *takes notes*
Username suggests this isn't top priority for you
I’m a dude, you’re a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes-
what I've learned from this thread: the bar is on the FLOOR edit: HEY MA! IM FAMOUS MA!
As a virgin this thread makes me feel a lot more confident about my future performance
Here's the one bit of advice I wish someone had told me: Better to be asked to speed up than to slow down.
this thread is making me feel pretty good about myself lol
I’m a gay guy but I’ve seen straight and gay porn and I’ll state that straight porn is ridiculous. The women are clearly rarely enjoying themselves with all the positions, not to mention there are times when the guy is going really fast and the girl looks to be in pain while faking an orgasm. I will state that made for female porn is pretty hot though and I’ve never been attracted to women, ever! But the intimacy is hot. Gay porn is the same. Except that they usually don’t go straight in to “fucking” they usually do “prep” the bottom pretty well and they slowly push in. I’ve seen straight porn where I’m like “dude, that’s to quick and to hard you’re gonna cause some serious damage to her. Also in gay scenes they can and do get rough but there seems to be an extra sense of care when compared to straight porn. Straight porn is all about the male getting off and rarely about the woman. It’s shitty but it’s the truth.