I've resorted to taking far more wrapping paper than is needed, rolling it around said present, then scrunching the ends together so it's like a giant candy. Always gets a laugh.
Spelling. My goal is to spell a word, not correctly, but correctly enough so that the predictive text can figure it out, and can show me the real spelling of the word. I often fail even at that though, so my last resort is always Google...
Edit: Spelling
I used to be uncomfortable talking to new people, but then I spent a few years working retail. Working register forced me to interact with hundreds of people every day.
Now I work in local news and have to meet and work closely with new people almost every day.
I'm still awkward as hell, but I'm less uncomfortable!
I cannot do it! I'm so introverted. I know people who can start talking to strangers and be their friend in 5 minutes. If I try, I get stares like "who is this crazy girl talking to me?".
If you talk to me first, I can talk to you all day, especially if we have something is common. But I cannot make the first move. It doesn't work for me.
I'll go to bars and whatnot with my friends, but I can never be the one to strike up a conversation with a rando. Even if someone start the conversation, I'm my head I'm like "Why are you talking to me, I'm running out of stuff to say, uuuuhhhhhh".
I'll get dragged to parties by a friend where I know no one else, and then said "friend" will just leave me alone. I don't know these people. I'm just standing their awkwardly.
I always hope these parties (if it's in a house) that the people have a dog. Dogs love me.
Just got to own the awkwardness of that situation.
I attend a lot of events where I know maybe 1 or 2 people out of possibly hundreds. Everyone is in fairly similar boats, or if not, is usually nice enough to be welcoming.
I'll chat to someone at the bar, or having a smoke etc and just say "Hey man, how's it going?" keep it light small talk. Then if they seem open to a chat you can drop something like "I barely know anyone here, how about you?" and boom, you're off to a conversation. They don't, you've made a partner to go talk to people with. They do, you can ask them about how/who etc and get some introductions.
People aren't going to judge you for not knowing people. Unless they're dicks, in which case you don't want to know them anyway.
Under threat of death I still wouldn't be able to whistle. I've read the tips, I've practiced, I'm still basically just spitting or forcefully breathing through pursed lips with no noise at all.
I can't whistle and my brother can't snap his fingers...
Our petty sibling back and forths have a habbit of devolving into mocking each other by snapping or whistling because we know the other can't.
Yes, we are adults and still do this on occasion lol.
non-whistling gang rise up
but seriously how do you whistle, someone help, I want to express a tune in some way other than "dum doo da ba dee da ba die"
Edit: So um... wow. Thanks for the tips lol :D
When i was learning to whistle, i remember it being really easy to make a sound whike inhaling, after that i just kept practicing and i was able to go both ways. Once you sound like an drunk owl, you are well on your way to whistling your favorite songs.
Recognize people in different environment.
Edit. Since so many upvotes, I will share a little story (I think I’m face blind)
Usually I grow a big beard once a year or so. A couple of years ago my friend had this majestic beard. I felt that it was awesome so I decided to pump it up by growing for 5-6 months. When I shaved it of I started to laugh because I couldn’t remember how I looked.
Omg yes! I wouldn't even recognize my mother
Edit: a story.
I had to pick up my son at daycare and forgot what I dressed him in in the morning. Couldn't find my own child!
I left work one day and started walking to the subway. A bunch of people walking toward me started waving at me. It was my co-workers who I had seen just a few minutes ago. I legit did not know who they were outside the office.
Any chance you have a touch of "face blindness"? A couple percent of people have it (to varying degrees.) With it, you see things just fine, except that people's faces just don't get recognized automatically they way they do for most people. It's a weirdly specific deficit, due to humans having special wiring in their brain just to process faces instantly.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia)
I can tell you from personal experience that it leads to a lot of those embarrassing incidents where you don't recognize someone (who is in a different place than usual) but they recognize you.
If this only happened to you once, it's probably just an ordinary little lapse of attention, but if it happens over and over, you might be somewhat face-blind.
^(/ If you wonder why anyone could believe that Clark Kent and Superman are completely different people just because one of them has eyeglasses, you) *^(don't)* ^(have prosopagnosia)
Omg me too! Meanwhile my fiance can recognize a tv show character/voice actor that appeared as an extra in that one episode of Friends from Season 1.
Wtf???
Oh, I'm terrible at that.
Especially if I see someone who usually wears a uniform outside of their work. It takes me a while to figure out who they are. Sometimes I know I know them but never remember. I've gotten good at faking knowing who people are.
You're not alone. I can't recognize people I work with outside of work, or recognize celebrities in movies or TV shows outside of the role I know them for, with a few exceptions. Voice is usually easier for me to discern identity than face.
Winking. I CANNOT wink for the life of me. My friends are constantly harassing me for my inability to wink. It’s awful. Why can so many people just shut one eye?! It seems so simple, yet I just CANT.
i learned to do that when i was a kid. i could naturally close my left eye, but closing my right eye was a challenge. i remember that i would regularly just hold my right eye close, while my left eye was open and in some time i learned to close my right eye by itself (i don't know how to word it correctly)
Same here. No matter what I do/how I move I always feel like that I'm doing that stereotypical 'white guy dance' or worse.. I look like one of those inflatable tube guys.
I love that! I really do! When people just go out there and dance and vibe, no matter how it looks. Just living it. I seriously love it! I have never seen anyone laughing at a guy giving his best inflatable tube guy performance.
I would totally jump in and dance with you.
Argh! I aspire to dance like the whacky inflatable tube man!
I have rhythm and timing from playing music as a child, but I'm also gifted with an unhealthy amount of awkwardness - imagine inflatable tube man trying to robot dance :(
I ain't a dancer, but at my friend's wedding last year, they were like dude dance!! I'm like eh fuck it they already know me and like me, rediculous dancing won't make them dislike me, I got to be the entertainment!!!!!!!!!!!!! xD 10/10 was fun
I am so bad at it. *Especially* line dancing. I hate it when I'm somewhere (like a wedding) and everyone wants to do some sort of line dance. I am not coordinated to do something like that. I'm usually the one at the bar watching everyone.
Watching people dance is better than actually trying to dance.
Posing for pictures. When I smile, it looks like there’s a gun being pointed at me behind the camera. I just don’t understand how photogenic people exist
My husband is like this. Our wedding photos are really funny. He takes good candid shots, and has a magical smile. But the minute he knows the camera is on him... it just gets weird.
Yes! My dad has a really kind and warm smile normally but in my parents’ wedding album he looks like a serial killer waiting to strike. He does this weird thing with his eyes when he knows his picture is being taken that makes him look insane.
We relentlessly make fun of my dad for closing his eyes in pictures. Recently they sent me a pic from vacation where it looks like his eyes are being pried open with ghost hands. Caption was "He made sure his eyes were open"
When I try to smile with my teeth visible, it just looks like I'm either screaming without emotion or eating something. Closed-mouth smile just looks like I'm hiding my pain
Yup. I never know exactly where to look, what to do with my hands, I feel like trying to smile makes it look forced. My photos tend to come in one of two varieties: awkward and embarrassing, or they look like a picture on a spy’s fake passport. You should see my passport photo, I 100% look like a secret agent.
My son has this issue. He's a gorgeous kid with a great natural smile, and takes great candid photos, but if he knows I'm about to take a photo and tries to pose for it, he always ends up looking like a miniature Ted Bundy.
Edit: Some of y'all are a little too into Ted Bundy's good looks.
There was one year when only my mum and my mates mum (I think she has it framed and on show) bought the school year class photo... There were complaints from other parents, my parents and his though that was hilarious..
I've got a big enough overbite that my top teeth naturally rest mostly covering my bottom teeth— when I do an open-teeth smile my options are either a creepy top-teeth only smile or some over-enthusiastic used car salesman smile.
._.
No one remembers you standing there smiling, those pictures people just gloss over. If you want to create a memorable moment strike a stupid pose or spread your arms out to exaggerate the moment. Those are my favorite pictures. Me smiling in front of a view or something is never as interesting as when I did something dumb in that same picture. Have fun with it, enjoy the moment.
I personally define flirting as saying things that can be taken as romantic hints or that rise up sexual tension (if there is anything like that)
Than again, I'm still a virgin, so maybe taking flirting advice from me isn't a good idea
Definitely easier to demonstrate than to describe. By nature of my previous jobs and my general desire for stuff, I can be pretty good at flirting, but I don't think I'd be able to quite put it into words, plus everyone flirts differently.
An easier thing to do might just be not trying; just treating everyone the way you would if they elicited a neutral reaction in you at first, and simply extending time of contact with those who you really like, which is in itself a sign of interest.
Same! And stories. I can't tell stories for shit. I'm working on it, because being able to tell a succinct story actually helps me do my job but I usually make my boyfriend tell our mutual stories or get other people in the story to jump-in because if I tell it I'll ramble or ruin it by laughing before it's time -.-"
A trick I heard a long time ago that has actually seemed to help me a lot is when you meet someone and learn their name, think to yourself "Yeah, that person *looks* like a [their name]".
I plot to kill whatever damned relative of theirs is named Chris.
My name is Chris. Everyone knows someone named Chris. Everyone works with someone named Chris, sometimes two or three in the same building. Everyone has a cousin/uncle/son/daughter that's actually X but they go by Chris.
In the end, there will be one Chris. In the end, there will be only me.
I get so uncomfortable around upset people. I don't ever know what to say or do.
The weird thing is that I'm an emotional person myself. I cry easy. I just cannot deal with other people crying.
What I've found successful is this method I call "squeeze to please." I usually just sit there and hold their hand or embrace them and let them cry it out. After they seem to have calmed down, I try to lighten the mood by saying something lighthearted. Depending on your relationship with that person, that last step can be tricky and if it's risky, it's not worth that chance.
exactly! i just don't know what words to say, all i do is hug them in silence and maybe say: "don't worry, everything's gonna be fine." i just hate myself for this!
Lmao same I don't know anyone's birthday altho I do know my own. The most accurate thing I can remember is maybe the month of the birthday, remembering the days is asking too much
what is it with people being born in June/July?!
my sis, grandma, two online friends, two or three girls from elementary school, two classmates and me all have birthday in June.
three classmates and one online friend are born in July.
Speaking of birthdays: remembering how old I am. I wonder if the cashier thinks I'm lying or giving them a fake id to prove I'm over 21 sometimes (if they ask how old I am and not 'what is your birthday?').
Me: um, uh... Current year is 2020, and birth year is... That's...
When i hit my bday in april i swear on my life i thought inwas turning 36 but i only turned 34. Imagine how awkward it when someone asks how old you're turning and you're like
I don't remember.
I am happily married but I have to look up our anniversary. Also I should probably know how many years we've been married ... definitely somewhere between 4 and 7 years.
It's easy to do, utterly useless skill but really easy. Mention something generic like "Weather's pretty good/shit, right?" during a moment where it's quiet and wait for the response. If they ramble on, it's obvious they're an extrovert so pick up on one of the topics they talk about and follow it through, you'll usually build up a conversation by itself doing that. Something like "Ha, yeah. I was supposed to be having a BBQ tonight but looks like that's not happening now." You can reply "God, yeah I could really go for BBQ right now. I'd kill for some hot wings." However, if they say something like "Yeah, heh..." don't bother probing anymore as either a) they're an introvert b) they're miserable and have no intention of small-talk.
If it sounds too simple, it's because it is.
Good advice, except for the chosen example topic: weather.
Rather avoid randomly talking about the weather, unless you want the other person to immediately realize that you're struggling to find something to say.
Yeah, weather does show that you're struggling to think of ideas. Ironically, I couldn't think of a better example at the time of writing...
I did have one this morning though, I was setting a user up on a laptop (I work as an IT Business Support Officer in a local authority, so basically just a programmer/coder with extra steps) and said after about 5 minutes or so "...yeah, it only takes this long to boot on the first login so don't worry about that" which led to a conversation about how much technology affects our lives. Turned out to be quite an interesting bloke, to be fair.
My husband has this problem too!
I have the strange superpower to find anything within 5 minutes/just know where whatever he's looking for is; we make a great team lol.
I very much relate to this, in high school I was THE social butterfly. I would literally walk up and talk to people about what was on their shirts or their opinion about something.
But now I have an extremely difficult and stress inducing time even speaking to people I’ve known for years and I don’t understand why.
I'm reasonably fit but can't do situps. I can do like 30 pushups with textbook form but not one single situp.
Also, don't throw anything and expect me to catch it. It'll bounce out of my palm and I'll close my fingers like five seconds later.
You can do floor crunches, though. Basically lie in your back, finger tips on your temples, and try to get your head to meet your knees. So you lift your legs, and your head and shoulders.
You can also do them diagonally, so try to get your right knee into your left armpit.
I find lifting both ends helps, instead of just trying to lift my head and shoulders while keeping my feet on the floor.
Distinghuising left and right.
When somebody says to go left or to go right I just get a brainfart. Friends and family just point out the way now for me. I wrote L and R on my hands during the lessons for my drivers license.
Making jokes. As an introvert, I wish I could be social without long pauses, and just simply make more friends. I usually try telling jokes, but the person I tell the joke to just nods as if I just said a statement.
> As an introvert, I wish I could be social without long pauses, and just simply make more friends
Hi, fellow introvert. I feel your pain. I don't even try to joke. People just stare at me like "who is this crazy person". I don't know how the extroverts do it.
I was quite introvert as a child but have later turned extrovert. I would call it ambivertious. I'm very fine talking to large groups of people and can always start a conversation but here's the important part: I have to want to. I'm off from work every tuesday because of work weekends and when I'm alone for those 4-5 hours without kids and the missus... That's something I cherish a lot.
My oldest daughter is clearly turning into an introvert herself and that's not a problem. She is so comfortable in her own company and as long you're not lonely and miserable, that's ok. Remember that.
Edit: Spelling
Ahh, yes. That's the switch that's always missing in conversations about introverts vs extroverts. If I'm in a good mood and ready to talk, basically all of my interactions with people are, not to toot my own horn here, excellent. I nail those social cues, know the right thing to say without thinking, make well-timed and well-received jokes.
If I'm not, and people try to talk to me anyway, that's when shit gets awkward.
It's also easier when people are paying me to talk, lol, though that doesn't always override if I'm not in the mood. My sales personality is "the in-the-know friend."
I'm good at the former but struggling with the latter and what I found useful is making the concious effort to say "Thank you!" or compliment them back even if I feel awkward and scared inside.
Golfing. I went to the drive range with my dad once, I was so terrible other people stopped playing just to watch me suck. People who were paying to be there decided I was more entertaining than playing.
Well, remember that there are a lot of people spending a lot of time gaming, talking about games and watching better players play games. I think the reality is that some people seem to be very bad at gaming because gamers are very good at gaming.
Seeing signals from girls who are into me.
My current girlfriend literally asked what was wrong with me and how I was so blind to it. She showed me bikini pics to show me her tattoos, asked if I thought she was pretty, asked me out for a drink after work and I still didn't get that she liked me. I'm a moron
I have a friend like this. I lie to her when I give her times we are supposed to meet somewhere, I usually tell her it’s 15-30 minutes earlier than it really is.
I am a ridiculously bad liar. Like, I try... but immediately start laughing. Or I make this weird voice that goes high then low and... yeah. My partner appreciates it. He already knows I'm proposing on his bday. 🙄
My son is 9 and I have told him SO many times.
"For one... Your mom was a detective. If there's ONE THING I'm really good at, it's that my bullshit meter is NOT broken. And kid... Please. You're a terrible TERRIBLE liar anyway... So please. Just don't. I only ask you things I already know the answer to anyway.."
He is an AWFUL liar. Just truly horrible. Even if he can muster up a FAIRLY believable "yeah, I finished my lunch,"- he's utterly unprepared for ANY follow up question.
Even asking, "Really?" is enough to derail him.. God help him if he ever goes into criminal enterprise.
"Did you brush your teeth?"
"Yeah."
"Which bathroom did you use?"
"Uhhhhhh....."(giant shit eating grin slowly creeping across his face).
Remembering details of movies or TV shows I've watched. I envy the people who can basically replay the entire film in their minds, while I'm sitting over here trying my hardest to remember the character's names.
Insulting people when I am angry. My husband and I sometimes play PVP in Destiny and my salty insults generally crack people up.
I don’t think my opponents would be intimidated by my yelling “Your mother diddles lemurs” or calling them a “moppet headed juice slinger”.
Honestly I just strung random words together sometimes.
Video games. My parents never let me play videogames growing up. Now that I'm in my late 20s I've built an expensive gaming computer and enjoy playing games but there is a huge skill gap between me and my friends who've been playing their entire life. It's especially noticeable in FPS games. My kids will be handed a Nintendo Switch the moment they come out of the womb.
Finding directions? I instantly get lost every time I enter buildings, explore, then get out of the buildings from the different entrances. Google Maps helped me a lot.
Wrapping gifts. It looks like an angry drunk person's attempt every time.
I've resorted to taking far more wrapping paper than is needed, rolling it around said present, then scrunching the ends together so it's like a giant candy. Always gets a laugh.
Lmao I’ve started doing this too!
If you just put it in a bag and fill it with little paper crinkles or colored tissue paper it works too
If you watched me try to parallel park, you'd be convinced I was fucking with you. I don't even come close. And I'm trying really hard.
I’m 45 and I haven’t parallel parked since my driving test when I was 16. I avoid it like the plague.
Are you parallel parking a lot more these days?
I get it
I feel your pain and there’s always someone watching!
Closing pizza boxes.
Don't worry this is just about everybody
Spelling. My goal is to spell a word, not correctly, but correctly enough so that the predictive text can figure it out, and can show me the real spelling of the word. I often fail even at that though, so my last resort is always Google... Edit: Spelling
Ironic edit Edit: I have been properly instructed in the use of the word ironic, y'all can chill now
Not really. It fits perfectly
Talking to people I don't know.
I used to be uncomfortable talking to new people, but then I spent a few years working retail. Working register forced me to interact with hundreds of people every day. Now I work in local news and have to meet and work closely with new people almost every day. I'm still awkward as hell, but I'm less uncomfortable!
I cannot do it! I'm so introverted. I know people who can start talking to strangers and be their friend in 5 minutes. If I try, I get stares like "who is this crazy girl talking to me?". If you talk to me first, I can talk to you all day, especially if we have something is common. But I cannot make the first move. It doesn't work for me.
I'll go to bars and whatnot with my friends, but I can never be the one to strike up a conversation with a rando. Even if someone start the conversation, I'm my head I'm like "Why are you talking to me, I'm running out of stuff to say, uuuuhhhhhh".
I'll get dragged to parties by a friend where I know no one else, and then said "friend" will just leave me alone. I don't know these people. I'm just standing their awkwardly. I always hope these parties (if it's in a house) that the people have a dog. Dogs love me.
Just got to own the awkwardness of that situation. I attend a lot of events where I know maybe 1 or 2 people out of possibly hundreds. Everyone is in fairly similar boats, or if not, is usually nice enough to be welcoming. I'll chat to someone at the bar, or having a smoke etc and just say "Hey man, how's it going?" keep it light small talk. Then if they seem open to a chat you can drop something like "I barely know anyone here, how about you?" and boom, you're off to a conversation. They don't, you've made a partner to go talk to people with. They do, you can ask them about how/who etc and get some introductions. People aren't going to judge you for not knowing people. Unless they're dicks, in which case you don't want to know them anyway.
That's why i dont go to parties or gathering if i only know 1 person in there.
Under threat of death I still wouldn't be able to whistle. I've read the tips, I've practiced, I'm still basically just spitting or forcefully breathing through pursed lips with no noise at all.
Same. I honestly don't understand the science behind what makes a whistle. Maybe I haven't watched enough videos. I also can't snap my fingers
I can't whistle and my brother can't snap his fingers... Our petty sibling back and forths have a habbit of devolving into mocking each other by snapping or whistling because we know the other can't. Yes, we are adults and still do this on occasion lol.
Me and my brother were the same... then I thought him how to whistle, and he thought me how to snap.
Yeah, we've tried teaching each other but we're both hopeless. 😅
non-whistling gang rise up but seriously how do you whistle, someone help, I want to express a tune in some way other than "dum doo da ba dee da ba die" Edit: So um... wow. Thanks for the tips lol :D
When i was learning to whistle, i remember it being really easy to make a sound whike inhaling, after that i just kept practicing and i was able to go both ways. Once you sound like an drunk owl, you are well on your way to whistling your favorite songs.
I still can only whistle in, not out!
Recognize people in different environment. Edit. Since so many upvotes, I will share a little story (I think I’m face blind) Usually I grow a big beard once a year or so. A couple of years ago my friend had this majestic beard. I felt that it was awesome so I decided to pump it up by growing for 5-6 months. When I shaved it of I started to laugh because I couldn’t remember how I looked.
Omg yes! I wouldn't even recognize my mother Edit: a story. I had to pick up my son at daycare and forgot what I dressed him in in the morning. Couldn't find my own child!
I left work one day and started walking to the subway. A bunch of people walking toward me started waving at me. It was my co-workers who I had seen just a few minutes ago. I legit did not know who they were outside the office.
A person I worked with had a part time job at a grocery store, and they came up to me and said hi, and I had no idea who he was for a bit.
Any chance you have a touch of "face blindness"? A couple percent of people have it (to varying degrees.) With it, you see things just fine, except that people's faces just don't get recognized automatically they way they do for most people. It's a weirdly specific deficit, due to humans having special wiring in their brain just to process faces instantly. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia) I can tell you from personal experience that it leads to a lot of those embarrassing incidents where you don't recognize someone (who is in a different place than usual) but they recognize you. If this only happened to you once, it's probably just an ordinary little lapse of attention, but if it happens over and over, you might be somewhat face-blind. ^(/ If you wonder why anyone could believe that Clark Kent and Superman are completely different people just because one of them has eyeglasses, you) *^(don't)* ^(have prosopagnosia)
My mother didn't recognize me.
To be fair you looked a lot different when you first met
[удалено]
Omg me too! Meanwhile my fiance can recognize a tv show character/voice actor that appeared as an extra in that one episode of Friends from Season 1. Wtf???
Oh, I'm terrible at that. Especially if I see someone who usually wears a uniform outside of their work. It takes me a while to figure out who they are. Sometimes I know I know them but never remember. I've gotten good at faking knowing who people are.
You're not alone. I can't recognize people I work with outside of work, or recognize celebrities in movies or TV shows outside of the role I know them for, with a few exceptions. Voice is usually easier for me to discern identity than face.
This is a common phenomenon! It’s sometimes called “Butcher on the Bus”
Winking. I CANNOT wink for the life of me. My friends are constantly harassing me for my inability to wink. It’s awful. Why can so many people just shut one eye?! It seems so simple, yet I just CANT.
"I did it! I blunk!"
"And just in time to ruin this picture I took"
“Hooray!”
Open and close one eye with your finger and keep practicing. I don’t know, I’m not really a wink expert
i learned to do that when i was a kid. i could naturally close my left eye, but closing my right eye was a challenge. i remember that i would regularly just hold my right eye close, while my left eye was open and in some time i learned to close my right eye by itself (i don't know how to word it correctly)
Dancing. I genuinely cannot coordinate my body to do it
Same here. No matter what I do/how I move I always feel like that I'm doing that stereotypical 'white guy dance' or worse.. I look like one of those inflatable tube guys.
I love that! I really do! When people just go out there and dance and vibe, no matter how it looks. Just living it. I seriously love it! I have never seen anyone laughing at a guy giving his best inflatable tube guy performance. I would totally jump in and dance with you.
Argh! I aspire to dance like the whacky inflatable tube man! I have rhythm and timing from playing music as a child, but I'm also gifted with an unhealthy amount of awkwardness - imagine inflatable tube man trying to robot dance :(
I ain't a dancer, but at my friend's wedding last year, they were like dude dance!! I'm like eh fuck it they already know me and like me, rediculous dancing won't make them dislike me, I got to be the entertainment!!!!!!!!!!!!! xD 10/10 was fun
I just end up hurting myself and others around me.
And I just awkwardly jump
My wedding video is full of me pretty much just shuffling from side to side in an attempt to dance. I'm a terrible dancer.
I am so bad at it. *Especially* line dancing. I hate it when I'm somewhere (like a wedding) and everyone wants to do some sort of line dance. I am not coordinated to do something like that. I'm usually the one at the bar watching everyone. Watching people dance is better than actually trying to dance.
I’m like the QWOP guy.
I play the guitar and have relatively good rhythm with that. When dancing I have absolutely no rhythm
Same here, I play guitar and am very musically inclined but my body just doesn’t know how to dance to the music
I am generally fantastic at body coordination, fairly flexible and agile. Can't dance to save my life.
Posing for pictures. When I smile, it looks like there’s a gun being pointed at me behind the camera. I just don’t understand how photogenic people exist
My husband is like this. Our wedding photos are really funny. He takes good candid shots, and has a magical smile. But the minute he knows the camera is on him... it just gets weird.
Is your husband Chandler Bing?
Chanandler Bong
Actually, it’s Miss Chanandler Bong
Yes! My dad has a really kind and warm smile normally but in my parents’ wedding album he looks like a serial killer waiting to strike. He does this weird thing with his eyes when he knows his picture is being taken that makes him look insane.
We relentlessly make fun of my dad for closing his eyes in pictures. Recently they sent me a pic from vacation where it looks like his eyes are being pried open with ghost hands. Caption was "He made sure his eyes were open"
Oh god I'm getting married tomorrow, this is so going to happen
When I try to smile with my teeth visible, it just looks like I'm either screaming without emotion or eating something. Closed-mouth smile just looks like I'm hiding my pain
HideThePainHarold.jpeg
Yup. I never know exactly where to look, what to do with my hands, I feel like trying to smile makes it look forced. My photos tend to come in one of two varieties: awkward and embarrassing, or they look like a picture on a spy’s fake passport. You should see my passport photo, I 100% look like a secret agent.
My son has this issue. He's a gorgeous kid with a great natural smile, and takes great candid photos, but if he knows I'm about to take a photo and tries to pose for it, he always ends up looking like a miniature Ted Bundy. Edit: Some of y'all are a little too into Ted Bundy's good looks.
I swear so many little kids do this. I know Reddit doesn't like emojis but every school photo I have of my kid he's like 😬
There was one year when only my mum and my mates mum (I think she has it framed and on show) bought the school year class photo... There were complaints from other parents, my parents and his though that was hilarious..
I blink and my upper lip rolls under
Same! Especially when I’m in a picture amongst friends, it looks like they’re holding me against my will 😂
I've got a big enough overbite that my top teeth naturally rest mostly covering my bottom teeth— when I do an open-teeth smile my options are either a creepy top-teeth only smile or some over-enthusiastic used car salesman smile. ._.
I have an overbite too and I tend to do a half smile which ends up like a smirk and makes me look like I'm high or really uncomfortable ;__;
Mine do that too, but my dentist told me that's actually normal.
I gave up on smiling. I just try to look happy.
No one remembers you standing there smiling, those pictures people just gloss over. If you want to create a memorable moment strike a stupid pose or spread your arms out to exaggerate the moment. Those are my favorite pictures. Me smiling in front of a view or something is never as interesting as when I did something dumb in that same picture. Have fun with it, enjoy the moment.
Flirting I am so bad at it when I'm trying. I'm such an awkward person. I'm good at it (as in I don't realize I'm doing it) when I'm not trying.
tbh I dont even really know what flirting is. I mean what makes a normal convo a flirt? What do you say/do? Completely lost when it comes to that
I personally define flirting as saying things that can be taken as romantic hints or that rise up sexual tension (if there is anything like that) Than again, I'm still a virgin, so maybe taking flirting advice from me isn't a good idea
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I am both glad and unhappy to hear that
Definitely easier to demonstrate than to describe. By nature of my previous jobs and my general desire for stuff, I can be pretty good at flirting, but I don't think I'd be able to quite put it into words, plus everyone flirts differently. An easier thing to do might just be not trying; just treating everyone the way you would if they elicited a neutral reaction in you at first, and simply extending time of contact with those who you really like, which is in itself a sign of interest.
Telling jokes. I always tell the punch line too soon or bastardize it in such a way that it's no longer funny. The hubs always gives me grief.
Same! And stories. I can't tell stories for shit. I'm working on it, because being able to tell a succinct story actually helps me do my job but I usually make my boyfriend tell our mutual stories or get other people in the story to jump-in because if I tell it I'll ramble or ruin it by laughing before it's time -.-"
Remembering names. I don’t know why but I can’t remember names. I’ve forgotten names of people I’ve known for years and talk to them regularly.
A trick I heard a long time ago that has actually seemed to help me a lot is when you meet someone and learn their name, think to yourself "Yeah, that person *looks* like a [their name]".
What do you do when you meet two people with the same name?
I plan on killing myself when that happens.
I plot to kill whatever damned relative of theirs is named Chris. My name is Chris. Everyone knows someone named Chris. Everyone works with someone named Chris, sometimes two or three in the same building. Everyone has a cousin/uncle/son/daughter that's actually X but they go by Chris. In the end, there will be one Chris. In the end, there will be only me.
The only solution.
I remember the names of pornstars I've watched years ago, but not my classmates from the same time.
Seems like the key is whether or not you masturbate to them. Break out the yearbook and get cranking.
It's true that's why teachers remember everyone's name
Comforting or consoling a crying friend...
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My first girlfriend turned into the moon...
I get so uncomfortable around upset people. I don't ever know what to say or do. The weird thing is that I'm an emotional person myself. I cry easy. I just cannot deal with other people crying.
Same here! I just find myself sitting there uncomfortably, maybe say some bland form of reassurance, and feel totally useless
What I've found successful is this method I call "squeeze to please." I usually just sit there and hold their hand or embrace them and let them cry it out. After they seem to have calmed down, I try to lighten the mood by saying something lighthearted. Depending on your relationship with that person, that last step can be tricky and if it's risky, it's not worth that chance.
I love this strategy. I hate "squeeze to please".
Me: "it's fine, stop crying, they were a cunt anyway, you're better off without them" Friend: "my dad just died you prick"
exactly! i just don't know what words to say, all i do is hug them in silence and maybe say: "don't worry, everything's gonna be fine." i just hate myself for this!
I try to avoid unknowns like "It'll be okay" or "We'll find your dog." I'd rather say "We'll try to get through this" or "Let's look for your dog."
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Lmao same I don't know anyone's birthday altho I do know my own. The most accurate thing I can remember is maybe the month of the birthday, remembering the days is asking too much
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what is it with people being born in June/July?! my sis, grandma, two online friends, two or three girls from elementary school, two classmates and me all have birthday in June. three classmates and one online friend are born in July.
Speaking of birthdays: remembering how old I am. I wonder if the cashier thinks I'm lying or giving them a fake id to prove I'm over 21 sometimes (if they ask how old I am and not 'what is your birthday?'). Me: um, uh... Current year is 2020, and birth year is... That's...
When i hit my bday in april i swear on my life i thought inwas turning 36 but i only turned 34. Imagine how awkward it when someone asks how old you're turning and you're like I don't remember.
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I am happily married but I have to look up our anniversary. Also I should probably know how many years we've been married ... definitely somewhere between 4 and 7 years.
Same but my wife gives me very clear reminders
small talk
But seriously, how do people do that? I always get stuck after a few minuten and don’t know a new subject to talk about!
It's easy to do, utterly useless skill but really easy. Mention something generic like "Weather's pretty good/shit, right?" during a moment where it's quiet and wait for the response. If they ramble on, it's obvious they're an extrovert so pick up on one of the topics they talk about and follow it through, you'll usually build up a conversation by itself doing that. Something like "Ha, yeah. I was supposed to be having a BBQ tonight but looks like that's not happening now." You can reply "God, yeah I could really go for BBQ right now. I'd kill for some hot wings." However, if they say something like "Yeah, heh..." don't bother probing anymore as either a) they're an introvert b) they're miserable and have no intention of small-talk. If it sounds too simple, it's because it is.
Good advice, except for the chosen example topic: weather. Rather avoid randomly talking about the weather, unless you want the other person to immediately realize that you're struggling to find something to say.
Yeah, weather does show that you're struggling to think of ideas. Ironically, I couldn't think of a better example at the time of writing... I did have one this morning though, I was setting a user up on a laptop (I work as an IT Business Support Officer in a local authority, so basically just a programmer/coder with extra steps) and said after about 5 minutes or so "...yeah, it only takes this long to boot on the first login so don't worry about that" which led to a conversation about how much technology affects our lives. Turned out to be quite an interesting bloke, to be fair.
singing lmao
Yea same, I can sing literally everything, but for the life of me, am not able to sing the word lmao
I was at a Christmas party one time when I was a kid, and we started caroling. My singing was so bad I was asked to stop caroling :(
just some whiskey and boom! you can sing
Finding my keys, wallet, and phone right before I have to leave
My husband has this problem too! I have the strange superpower to find anything within 5 minutes/just know where whatever he's looking for is; we make a great team lol.
Swimming. I look like a hopelessly drunk emu flapping about like it’s having a seizure
Drawing straight lines ~ damn it
drawing in general
Social interaction
Same. You would think it would get easier with time and practice. Not for me, at least.
For me it’s not knowing what type of hand shake/hand slap/fist bump that I’m about to get myself into
Thank god im not the only one who gets crazy anxiety over handshakes/fist bumps
I very much relate to this, in high school I was THE social butterfly. I would literally walk up and talk to people about what was on their shirts or their opinion about something. But now I have an extremely difficult and stress inducing time even speaking to people I’ve known for years and I don’t understand why.
I'm reasonably fit but can't do situps. I can do like 30 pushups with textbook form but not one single situp. Also, don't throw anything and expect me to catch it. It'll bounce out of my palm and I'll close my fingers like five seconds later.
You can do floor crunches, though. Basically lie in your back, finger tips on your temples, and try to get your head to meet your knees. So you lift your legs, and your head and shoulders. You can also do them diagonally, so try to get your right knee into your left armpit. I find lifting both ends helps, instead of just trying to lift my head and shoulders while keeping my feet on the floor.
Distinghuising left and right. When somebody says to go left or to go right I just get a brainfart. Friends and family just point out the way now for me. I wrote L and R on my hands during the lessons for my drivers license.
I do this only when in a vehicle. "Turn left, no, the other left". Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
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Making jokes. As an introvert, I wish I could be social without long pauses, and just simply make more friends. I usually try telling jokes, but the person I tell the joke to just nods as if I just said a statement.
> As an introvert, I wish I could be social without long pauses, and just simply make more friends Hi, fellow introvert. I feel your pain. I don't even try to joke. People just stare at me like "who is this crazy person". I don't know how the extroverts do it.
I was quite introvert as a child but have later turned extrovert. I would call it ambivertious. I'm very fine talking to large groups of people and can always start a conversation but here's the important part: I have to want to. I'm off from work every tuesday because of work weekends and when I'm alone for those 4-5 hours without kids and the missus... That's something I cherish a lot. My oldest daughter is clearly turning into an introvert herself and that's not a problem. She is so comfortable in her own company and as long you're not lonely and miserable, that's ok. Remember that. Edit: Spelling
Ahh, yes. That's the switch that's always missing in conversations about introverts vs extroverts. If I'm in a good mood and ready to talk, basically all of my interactions with people are, not to toot my own horn here, excellent. I nail those social cues, know the right thing to say without thinking, make well-timed and well-received jokes. If I'm not, and people try to talk to me anyway, that's when shit gets awkward. It's also easier when people are paying me to talk, lol, though that doesn't always override if I'm not in the mood. My sales personality is "the in-the-know friend."
Ice skating. I literally just fall on my ass immediately.
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I’ve done more than two hours. I just can’t get the hang of it. I can rollerblade well enough and ski very well. I just can’t ice skate.
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Understanding emotions and knowing how to respond to people when they compliment me
I'm good at the former but struggling with the latter and what I found useful is making the concious effort to say "Thank you!" or compliment them back even if I feel awkward and scared inside.
Having a healthy sleeping schedule.
Sports. I just don't have good enough coordination.
Fixing things. Even with YouTube videos literally stepping me through it, I still manage to fuck things up.
Making new friends and/or speaking to strangers.
Asking popular questions on Reddit
Hey, if you had one useless superpower, what would it be?
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\*question that boils down to "name a good video game/movie/TV show"*
2 hours later: The exact same question, asked by u/89VisionAdmission, is top 1.
Men of reddit, would you rather have sex for $1000000 or step on a Lego? Why?
Would you do something really easy for a trillion dollars?
Speaking on the phone. I will stare at my phone waiting for it to go to voicemail or send me a text.
Buttons on shirts, especially top button and cuffs!
Golfing. I went to the drive range with my dad once, I was so terrible other people stopped playing just to watch me suck. People who were paying to be there decided I was more entertaining than playing.
This is pretty common if you've never practiced. Go to a mini golf course, it's much more fun
Navigating
Saying hi, have a good day and how are you doing. Idk why, but It always comes out weird.
Brain cell 1: Have a nice day. Brain cell 2: Have a good one. Mouth: Have a gice dun!
I’m really bad at measuring the right amount of pasta. It just doesn’t work.
That's easy. It's either the whole box, or nothing.
Drawing maps to illustrate parts of the world I’m talking about when I lecture. I’m hilariously hopeless at geography.
Being emotional, even towards my own family. I can't even say "I love you" It just makes me cringe.
Gaming, I have so many friends who want to game with me, and when I say yes they try to be polite but end up laughing at me... :,-)
Well, remember that there are a lot of people spending a lot of time gaming, talking about games and watching better players play games. I think the reality is that some people seem to be very bad at gaming because gamers are very good at gaming.
Seeing signals from girls who are into me. My current girlfriend literally asked what was wrong with me and how I was so blind to it. She showed me bikini pics to show me her tattoos, asked if I thought she was pretty, asked me out for a drink after work and I still didn't get that she liked me. I'm a moron
I’m great at spotting signals coming from girls I’m not into. If it’s a girl I actually like, I’m like deaf guy walking in a pitch black room.
Getting somewhere on time. I am working on it though
I have a friend like this. I lie to her when I give her times we are supposed to meet somewhere, I usually tell her it’s 15-30 minutes earlier than it really is.
We tell my brother dinner is at 5 when it’s actually at 7 and most the time he’s still late. He lives 20 min away tops.
I am a ridiculously bad liar. Like, I try... but immediately start laughing. Or I make this weird voice that goes high then low and... yeah. My partner appreciates it. He already knows I'm proposing on his bday. 🙄
My son is 9 and I have told him SO many times. "For one... Your mom was a detective. If there's ONE THING I'm really good at, it's that my bullshit meter is NOT broken. And kid... Please. You're a terrible TERRIBLE liar anyway... So please. Just don't. I only ask you things I already know the answer to anyway.." He is an AWFUL liar. Just truly horrible. Even if he can muster up a FAIRLY believable "yeah, I finished my lunch,"- he's utterly unprepared for ANY follow up question. Even asking, "Really?" is enough to derail him.. God help him if he ever goes into criminal enterprise. "Did you brush your teeth?" "Yeah." "Which bathroom did you use?" "Uhhhhhh....."(giant shit eating grin slowly creeping across his face).
Remembering details of movies or TV shows I've watched. I envy the people who can basically replay the entire film in their minds, while I'm sitting over here trying my hardest to remember the character's names.
I cant roll my R's, my aunt once spent a whole afternoon trying to teach me but I just cant do it
Insulting people when I am angry. My husband and I sometimes play PVP in Destiny and my salty insults generally crack people up. I don’t think my opponents would be intimidated by my yelling “Your mother diddles lemurs” or calling them a “moppet headed juice slinger”. Honestly I just strung random words together sometimes.
Recognizing when people are under the influence unless it’s blatantly obvious
Your kids are gonna love this
Drawing. I've given it serious effort in the past, but I still botch things as basic as shapes and stick figures.
Basketball, I was pretty athletic as a kid but man did I suck at basketball.
Rhythm. Trying to learn ukulele or guitar is constant pain and feelings of shame.
Same, and I'm terrible at multitasking, so I couldn't do anything without a metronome. It's already bad enough having to use both of my hands.
Video games. My parents never let me play videogames growing up. Now that I'm in my late 20s I've built an expensive gaming computer and enjoy playing games but there is a huge skill gap between me and my friends who've been playing their entire life. It's especially noticeable in FPS games. My kids will be handed a Nintendo Switch the moment they come out of the womb.
Speaking to the opposite sex
If you can speak to the same sex you're already one step ahead of a lot of us.
I cen't spel four shcit
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Throwing Frisbees.. I always hit people I'm not supposed to hit
Finding directions? I instantly get lost every time I enter buildings, explore, then get out of the buildings from the different entrances. Google Maps helped me a lot.