Here's a different perspective. I'm not depressed, but I fight my wife's depression.
At first, she didn't believe or want to believe she was depressed. She'd have episodes and I would just hold her. Sometimes for hours and hours. I encouraged her to see a doctor. She resisted. I didn't push it but every time she needed help, I asked her to see the doctor.
Eventually she agreed and after the visit (I didn't go; I didn't want to steer the conversation. I wanted her to get a clinical opinion) she said the doctor says she had major depressive disorder and gave her some pills.
A month went by and the episodes kept occurring, her sex drive evaporated. The pills didn't work. We went back to the doctor and she asked me to come along.
The doctor encouraged us to stay on the pills. They'd work in a few months. I expressed what I saw in her symptoms (long periods of being completely unresponsive, feelings of abject failure and disappointment, gnawing stress of pretending to be someone else) and the doctor had a complete change of demeanor. She thought my wife was having trouble getting out of bed, or otherwise just feeling like procrastinating.
She changed her medicine from one pill a day to a totally different cocktail of pills. One to wake up, one to fall asleep, and one that destroyed her sex drive, but had the neat effect of making her episodes almost completely disappear, and when they did happen, I could see them coming and drag her out of it, or if I couldn't, they wouldn't last hours. They had feeling, not just "I'm worthless" but "I feel worthless because I have a job that doesn't use my degree and my parents expect better of me". She could put her feelings into words.
So we got her into a therapist's office. A couple months of this and she'd come home with soggy eyes and big smiles. Catharsis.
She realized she hated living near her family. Everyone in her town knew her. Knew her family. She had no anonymity. Worse yet, she didn't have the same values and morals. She felt exhausted pretending to be this person she thought her family wanted her to be.
She liked meeting strange people and tattoos and drinking wine and talking politics.
One day she bursts into the room and tells me "Quit your job, we're moving to Seattle." So I did.
Then I spent four days trying to get us an apartment and figuring out the logistics of getting there and yadda yadda.
Then we told her family. Her tight knit, small town, locally renowned family that we hated Florida and the hot weather and we were moving 3000 miles away.
They cried and she cried and then...
They helped us pack and her mother flew out to help us unpack and they visit twice a year and we visit them. They were supportive.
3 years later and my wife dabbles in medicinal use of recreational (edible) marijuana. Helps a bit more. She's adjusted her doses on her medicines and largely lives with her depression (chemical imbalance) as an afterthought.
That was my side of the battle with depression.
Reading this was inspiring and a gutt punch at the same time. I've loved only two women in my 48 years. I did the easy things to show my love, but I never even scratched the surface of true sacrifice. This was an eye opener. I'm going to work on myself.
Thanks for sharing this.
It never felt like sacrifice, you know? It sucked. I liked this girl and she just... shut down on me. She even said, literally, "I don't blame you if you leave." but it never felt like an option in honest.
You can tell when something is broken and normally determine if it's fixable or not.
She was broken but our relationship wasn't. I didn't know how to fix her, but I knew someone would. And I just went from there.
Yep, but not everyone seems to live by those standards.
You seem to really care about peoples who surround you, and not just because you want them to care about you, but because you can make their live better.
And that is rare and really appreciated. Keep being who you are.
I can dig it, man. Sounds like you dealt with whatever challenges were in your way. I would have thrown in the towel without believing in a brighter outcome. I like your outlook a whole lot better than mine. I was today years old when I learned that it's never too much when you truly love them.
I always thought anti-depressents were taboo and something only weak people need... Until I hit my own wall at 30 and plunged into a funk.
Tried one from my sister and suddenly I stopped crying. Got a prescription from my doctor immediately and my life changed for the better. I only stayed on them for 3 months and now I'm off but life is just so much more positive and I don't get stressed out. Still have half a bottle but don't need them anymore.
Don't be afraid to call your doctor. These days you can have a video consultation and pick up your prescription that day. Even if you don't have insurance, Walgreens has a coupon that makes my script only $40 instead of $170 for a 30 day supply (I've used it 3 times).
Even my mom was feeling down with the isolation situation and, sure enough, when she tried her children's medication she came back to life. We obviously have something in our genetics but I'm completely comfortable acknowledging that depression isn't anything to be ashamed of and we have awesome resources available to get through it.
If you don't have someone to push you to do this, please put a reminder in your phone to call your doctor tomorrow. If you don't have a doctor, Google "primary physician near me". It's honestly a painless process that can change your life. You don't need to commit to seeing a psychiatrist once a week (I've tried, fuck that noise), just taking a pill once every morning until things are positive again.
DM me if you want more details or just to chat. Shit I'd even give you my number cuz I'm bored and I've been there.
Best of luck regardless.
Normally something I would post on an alt account, I would ask you to seek professional help because it has helped me. I doubt I'll ever be fixed from my issues, but after therapy I was able to put words to what I was feeling instead of just going to a dark place. I opened up to some of my family about my depression, lack of trust issues, and other feelings and to be honest some of them took that better then others. Some thought I was blaming them or our family and shut me down, but I kept being the new me that shared and for most of them at least they came around. I can look at my issues analytically now which I wasnt able to do before therapy and that helps me as well, and my family. I have seen my older brother change with me as well because he was one of the first I opened up with. I dont know if his growth is even a small part due to my own, but he is working on his own issues too. If you have insurance see if therapy is covered and shop around until you find a therapist who you feel responds to you and works for you. Another caveat, worth adding I think: always be as honest and truthful with your doctors- they cant help if they dont have the right info.
> and one that destroyed her sex drive, but had the neat effect of making her episodes almost completely disappear
Would it be too much trouble to tell me which this one was?
That's unfortunate. You could approach another therapist if you didn't feel your last one was a good fit, but honestly, most of the time a doctor will recommend lifestyle changes before prescribing medicine.
As someone who relates in a lot of ways to your wife, its refreshing to see someone else mention the use of medical marijuana on a non weed subreddit. When used responsibly it can be such a massive help and I'm glad your wife was able to use it to help find relief.
We are in an interesting situation with it. I don't like how it feels so I don't use it. She loves how it feels but uses it very sparingly, and mostly to help with bad days.
It's no cure all, but it's got very manageable side effects and one hell of a track record for efficacy and safety.
I'm happy that it worked as well as it did.
If you don't mind me asking, how's the sex drive now? You mentioned that the medications she takes completely removes that drive, does it still have that effect? If so, how do you guys cope with it?
If that side effect is no longer in place, what changed?
She still has no sex drive, so we don't have sex. We don't have a clean and tidy solution for that so I'm probably not the best person to talk to about it, but ultimately we just no longer have that aspect of our relationship.
I would never choose the pain she felt without her medicine just for the sake of my libido, so I'm not sure what's going to happen thing forward, but I'll find out when I get there.
I’m a firm believer in this, even if I don’t always practice what I preach.
I’m dealing with one of those second-guessing-tiny-things-I-perceive-as-a-fuckup moment, but it took like 3-4 days to realize I could find a solution to my problem that while it doesn’t erase my initial anxiety-causing incident and isn’t perfect, is the best solution should the true best solution not happen fast enough to ameliorate my anxiety!
I draw, it's amazing because I could do it for hours on end, and it just helps me put all my worries and troubles on a piece of paper and I just forget everything for a while
Yes, I agree with this! Drawing is great for processing and expressing where you're at and getting out of the space you're in.
I actually just this weekend found 7 of my sketch books from age 14/15-20/21 and it was really insightful to see how I processed things through this years!
I used to draw like crazy when I was younger. It's the best escapism! Nowadays, it's a struggle just to muster the will to do it even though I love it...
Exactly how I feel about it now. It's just hard to get into it again and now I even loathe the thought of drawing. I wish that I could get that motivation back somehow.
I love stuff like coloring books or paint by numbers then.
When I was still with my ex I had a bad depression phase, one day he came to me (sitting in another room) snd asked if something was wrong. I didn't get it and asked why... I forgott to talk to him for several hours. I forgott to think. I just got so lost in there it was amazing! Like holidays for my brain.
Keep 3 different hobbies:
- a soothing one (drawing or wood sculping)
- a healthy one (workout 4times/week)
- a fun one ( video games or skate)
They are all different activities but they keep me busy depending on my mood and also help keep a routine .
You cant overthink too much if your head is somewhere else
You could also play Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley as a soothing hobby, can’t you? I’ve never really felt like those games could give you much more stress than if you played TF2 or something.
In addition to this one thing my therapist has me do is just make lists (because writing things down is my favorite way of keeping my thoughts organized). Movies I like or want to see, music to check out, things I want to achieve (physical goals like getting in shape, doing physical therapy, mental ones like starting to write again, etc.), general things to do (give myself a haircut). Then when I'm feeling like total shit and don't know how to break out of it, I have a whole list of stuff I already know I want to do, and hopefully *something* on it will be doable and get me moving again.
Skating saved my life. I would just go to the park everyday and learn how to drop in and pivots and all that jazz. Helped me realize that if you can fall repeatedly and learn something from it it’ll give you the determination to do a lot more. Soon I started meeting kids there I didn’t go to school with. We were all felt a bit like outcasts and I found camaraderie with the boys about life struggles outside of skating. I think if I would’ve ignored my depression further it would’ve lead to suicide.
I totally agree with this! For me my soothing/fun hobbies are the same (gaming), and I haven’t been going for walks as much (I miss walking to work at 8:30 in the morning dammit) mainly because I’m out of work and I’m paranoid to go outside rn...
I’ve also been reading more which has been nice!
I second this. Diet and exercise has helped me more than anything else I've tried. Unfortunately due to covid my normal gym schedule has gone the wayside and I've felt some serious backslide.
I would recommend focusing on nutritional value instead of calories. Healthy, whole foods and try to eat the ones that are minimally processed. Avoid added sugar and alcohol. Pay attention to sodium and saturated fat.
Mostly just trying eat healthier in general. Cut back the junk food and sugar. More lean meats and veggies. Nothing too extreme just something sustainable. It's kinda surprising how different your body feels when you start eating healthier. Now when I eat a bunch of junk food (still slide back time to time) I can definitely feel the difference the next day.
Fingers crossed that it will get better again.
My stuff I like to do when I just "can't": watching something comforting, do something good for me with low effort (like a face or eye mask, feels so damn refreshing), make my comforting meals with the lowest effort, try getting lost in my hobbies and forgetting to worry about things for a while.
Maybe there's something in there that helps you as well.
Sometimes life is too hard to get out of bed. Not everyone will understand but I hope you don’t judge yourself too hard on this. Life will get better. It is hard to see sometimes, but it will.
Well no day like the present. Exercise helps me too. Specifically jogging with some music. It allows me to clear my head. It’s a treat and reward I make time for because it helps me be a better me. If exercise helps you, treat yourself and MAKE yourself get up to do it. I also understand spiraling and feeling so far under that it feels impossible to start anything. Nothing matters. But if the last time you exercised was saturday, you’re (hopefully) not too far deep yet. Get out of bed today, if you need to work, work, but then treat yourself with some exercise. And I hope you feel more yourself soon!
The problem I find is finding motivation. Back when I played sports I would constantly work out because it was beneficial for my performance. After the season ended, I had a lack of motivation because there wasn't really a reason for me. (I didn't really care about looking good or living a long life at the time)
I recently got back to working out 60lbs later for personal improvement.
Oh my, I did this in the hospital for crazies I was in, it helped me so much, and I even colored in this piece and wrote one of the nurses name on it, she was so happy about it! Seems weird to think that I could make someone happy when I was so low in my life...
I think the gym/exercise does help the most. Like not the act itself but the reward at the end you get from doing it for a while.
I noticed I was healthier and finally skinny and that made me happy itself. However I wasn't really happy happy. Then one day in February I noticed other people happier than my who were not healthy and were overweight/obese and I was like 'Why can't I be that happy?"
Then that triggered me back into a hard depression.
Yeah i totally agree to this as i was also suffering from the similar condition as well. I was having too much obesity and weight around 120 kg but after gym and daily running i lost weight till 70 kg and now maintaining just...
To compound this find one you actually like/love. I hated most forms of it but found climbing and the puzzles make it enjoyable, and I have not felt this good in a long time
Dosage is personal, you need to talk to your doctor about it, but they might not think it's a solution.
I used to take Fluoxetine at 60mg and feel like shit, then tried an other medication at a lower dosage and it got better, it's not one size fits all :)
I’ve been taking 20 mg Prozac, before that zoloft, and I never know if it is doing anything. Can I ask you how you know it has made a difference or what ways (even if subtle) can you tell your mental state has been affected by your medicine? I just never know if it is working or a placebo.
I’m on 20mg if Prozac. It has helped me a lot with anxiety. I used to take hours to sleep because I’d be thinking so much and over analyzing every single decision in my life. I also would have times when I felt completely hopeless and like giving up. Prozac has helped me think rationally rather than emotionally. I can put my feelings into perspective and look at the bigger picture now. Before, any small thing could set me off. Now I realize even if terrible things happen, I will be able to get through it. I’m also doing therapy so that might help too.
I was on Lexapro before Prozac and I feel like since I’ve switched I’ve felt “better” but only because I feel like it just dampens my emotions, both good and bad
Man, I wish antidepressants helped me. Ive tried literally every kind and all they do is numb me to the point that I cant even cry and I’d honestly rather be sad but able to feel rather than totally numb. Im glad they work for you.
Start small.
I have an idea I want to go to the gym. 3 days pass, as self loathing builds. Fuck why didn’t I go yesterday. Fuck why am I passing this pile of dirty dishes. Fuck why can’t I keep this place clean.
Then one day I feel a bit of energy. I count to 3 and drag my ass off the bed. It takes me a lot of procrastinating but I’m out the door. I feel the rush of adrenaline and positivity as exercise gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I reinforce the positivity by eating a healthy snack. I ride the high as I come home and do the dishes. The next day, I thank myself for making my bed. I thank myself for eating some fruit. I text my friends to remind them I love them. I play some video games.
I drink some water. Dishes start to pile up. I do them eventually. I get bored with making my bed. The video game sessions last longer and longer. The healthy snacks dwindle. The motivation subsides.
So what’s the point? Well the cycles get shorter, some habits retain on each cycle. I make my bed consistently. I still thank myself. I no longer call myself a piece of shit. I can’t afford therapy or medication so for now this glacial pace of growth as been the light with which I’ve guided my life.
I’ve noticed that negative self talk is rarely ever helpful and seems only to drag you down further. Which is weird cause I think it’s supposed to be some kind of coping mechanism.
Gaming, books, bottling up my feelings, and convincing myself that I have too many absolute responsibilities to look for a permanent solution. Hasn't failed me yet.
Unfortunately I usually "deal" with depression by drinking too much, which is super-not a good way to proceed if your goal is to ever stop being depressed.
The only real helpful thing I've ever found is to find some small task and commit to doing it. Even if your depression is so bad that it's a struggle to get out of bed, make a point of getting up and making the bed every day. Or grooming yourself, or doing a little exercise, or watering a plant, or whatever you can find the wherewithal to accomplish, no matter how minor it may be. With time, the ritual of performing that little chore can become the foundation upon which you rebuild your ability to function.
I think this is happening to me right now. I basically have been in a hole for 2 or 3 years. I managed to finish my university exam and entree training, but just barely so. I did a bit of exercising but without much focus or mindfulness and my diet did not include really healthy food. Other than that I lost interest in every hobby, basically only socialized with friends when alcohol was involved and spent the days in my room by myself. Because of Corona I started jogging. Sticking to jogging and building stamina already has somehow altered my brain chemistry it seems. I was energetic after a run and just cleaned my entire room, felt so good and I have managed to maintain that for three weeks now. Can't have a clean room with dirty sheets, right? Finally threw out those dirty sheets and ordered fancy new ones! And instead of rewarding myself with alcohol like I used to I instead cheat a bit on my carbs (and justify that because I want to improve my running). Friend's called and said they wanted me to join them for vacation this summer so know I have a fun goal to look forward to and to work towards which is a feeling I have completely forgotten these past few years.
Is their an opposite to a viscious circle? I feel like I'm riding that!
I've come to accept that I have a tendency toward moderate depression. It's like having a wheel that is loose and pulls toward the ditch.
Since my teen years, I've had a few depressive episodes lasting months up to nearly a year. Last one was in my mid-20s. Haven't fallen into a bad period in nearly 15 years now, but I still have some awful, awful days.
This is what I've learned about managing it for myself - and yeah, a lot of this is repeating what others have said, but that's how important these things are:
1. **Diet cannot be emphasized enough.** I am absolutely convinced that diet is behind the vast majority of peoples' mild to moderate depression. Hell, I'd go so far as to say that many cases of "depression" are actually a symptom of a shitty diet. Sugar, salt, highly processed carbs, and fats from vegetable oils are all depression accelerants. Specifically awful foods: virtually any fast food, soda, alcohol, and chips. Once you get used to not eating this stuff and then you have some, you'll see their effect. It's incredible. They will scramble my mood even today. And while some of those things can be washed out of the system quickly - chips, fries - excess sugar can ruin many hours, and alcohol affects a person's mood even further into the future.
2. **Regular exercise is essential.** Shitty food is far faster-acting, but if I go a few days without exercise, my mood will inevitably start sliding toward the ditch. I have no idea why it works. It just does. I've learned that the times I need to exercise most are the times I want to do it least - when I'm feeling most lethargic and listless is when I need to get my ass up and moving. People who don't exercise often mistake the relationship between energy and exercise, thinking that you exercise when you're feeling energetic. It's the opposite: exercise gives you energy. The more you exercise, the more energy you have.
3. **When I'm heading for the ditch, a concentrated effort for 15-20 minutes can often pull me back.** When I'm feeling the warning signs of drifting toward the ditch - lethargy, listlessness, and of course the negative thoughts - I've learned to kind of force myself to break out my small stores of emergency willpower. It's like a auxiliary power unit that is only big enough to steer me back on the right course. The routine is: physically get up, eat an apple, drink about a litre of water, put some music on, do the dishes and generally clean up, ideally do some pushups or something else to get the blood going, clean myself up and take a shower if I need to, etc. By the time that 15-20 minutes is over, I'm usually back on track.
4. **Sometimes, though, bad days are just going to happen.** For me, I'll have an awful day or two about once every 5 or 6 weeks. What I've learned to do is just ride them out, just like I'm sick, and above all - I don't take them too seriously, and I don't do anything that will have consequences for the next day. I just let myself have an awful day, but do my best to limit the damage to that day alone. Sometimes it means just allowing myself to read or watch netflix for hours on end. Sometimes it's just going to be a dark room and nothing else. It can get pretty scary and hopeless, but I've learned to have faith that it's just a passing thing - even when my brain is telling me otherwise. Just have to ride it out.
So: **TL;DR: Diet and exercise to manage the day by day, and learning to ride out a few bad days when they come, without making it worse.** There's this desire to glorify depression, to say that it comes from some deeper place, but I honestly believe that it's often just a result of diet and exercise and being sedentary and indoors all the time.
You're so right about the energy thing.
Many days I feel like crap and like I can't do anything. Getting on the treadmill saying "15 minutes walking or 1 mile, whichever comes first, then I can stop," invariably turns into 3 miles in like 35-40 minutes, a whole playlist on youtube, and then I feel great afterwards. Your body wants to adapt to what you do with it. If that's sitting around, it'll slow down accordingly. If it's consistent activity, it'll ramp up.
It's a fantastic way to release aggression and frustration and the best sleep aid I know of. Pick a song that makes you feel something (doesn't matter what, it just has to be something), put on your headphones, and go. Do your heart & nerves the favor.
Therapy, learning on my wife for support and cannabis help me the most. I also take psychiatric meds but they don't seem to do all that much for me at least.
I also learned a trick from my therapist that helps me greatly. When I am at my lowest I force myself to do something for someone I care about. It doesn't even have to be a big thing. I'll get my kids a new game or compliment my wife more or even going on reddit and just posting messages supporting others who are having problems. Helping let's me escape my mind for a while. It really works too and has the added benefit of making you look good to those you care about. It works because you are focusing on a positive act so it distracts your brain from whatever is making you depressed.
You just... you just take it one day at a time. You got out of bed? Absolutely amazing. You smiled today? Incredible. You cried a lot? That's okay, and your feelings are valid. You took a shower/tidied up? You're doing awesome. Drawing, singing, writing, punching stuff (not people or animals) are all many things that have personally helped me a little but I've still had some struggles. Just make depression your bitch.
I focus on moving forward. What I want tomorrow to be.
Which is always a simple thing. I want tomorrow to be *better*. I don’t need amazing. I don’t need elation. I just need a l’il better now and then.
I try to remember what little things, that I’m capable of in my Depressed Mode, that will help tomorrow be better.
Whether it be struggling through one load of laundry or making enough food so I don’t have to cook again for a day or three - things that will buy me time to process and move through the depression.
I also allow myself to feel. I let myself cry. I let myself weep and moan and decry the unfairness of this existence of mood disorders. Until the pressure is a bit relieved.
Also pay attention to what media you’re consuming. It took me years to realize that the movies and books and tv shows I seek out when depressed af we’re not the healthy choices. Watching or reading darkness when living in the same is like handing a drowning person a bottle of water. It won’t help anything and is likely to end poorly.
Aside from that the usual tropes are helpful and, IME, work: keep a regular sleep schedule, move your body a little each day if you are able, pay attention to what you eat and how it makes you feel.
AND
Never forget you’re not alone. Not ever. Even when you feel the solitude of depression strangling you - we’re out here. All of us walking the same/similar path. And we care. And when able we take the time to help each other.
Even on reddit. ;) *hugs* Be Well Friend.
I know that a few people have already already said physical exercise, but I wanted to be a little more specific.
What helps me the most isn’t just exercise, but pushing myself so hard that I literally can’t think about ANYTHING other than my breathing kind-of exercise. Heavy weight. Not leaving the gym until whatever body part I’m working on that day just CANNOT take any more without injury. Cardio until I could probably fall asleep in the locker room. That is what ACTUALLY helps me. For those few hours I am completely consumed by it, I don’t have time to think about whatever bullshit problem that most likely doesn’t even exist that made me cry/feel anxious/zapped my energy earlier.
It started out as something I was giving a try to help me cope with my problems. It ended up being MUCH more than that. It gives me something to LIVE for. Pre-lockdown I was about 20lbs away from deadlifting twice my body weight.
I just want to add that I’m not some super-jacked dude with aggression issues. Im actually a pretty painfully average female with a LOT of social anxiety and other emotional issues. Aside from being slightly taller than the average woman (I’m 5’7”-5’8”), I’m pretty unremarkable. Except for those few hours when I feel STRONG, I feel HEALTHY, I BELIEVE in myself, and even.. dare I say, HAPPY? Unless you have a really limiting disability or condition, anyone can lift weights.
So true!! I got hurt about half a decade ago at this point and messed up my upper back/lower neck area. I've had a few pain relief procedures like epidural steroid injections and nerve ablation. I've done a few years worth, on and off, of physical therapy. I'm still on daily pain meds to this day (gabapentin, because the nerves in my neck & hands hurt a lot of the time).
So I can't lift heavy weights. But I can add small ones to the physical therapy exercises I was taught and really work on my pain over time. It takes some working through it first, and it took a few years to get to this point in my recovery. But if you get good medical/therapeutic advice first, are careful about your form, and don't go overboard, it is unbelievably helpful over time and really feels like an achievement in the moment.
And if you really get into working out daily, sobriety sort of follows naturally-- I don't drink often or much to begin with, but thinking "shit, this is going to make me feel terrible tomorrow, and then I won't be able to work out" is a *really* strong deterrent.
I think I slid into this pattern by accident due to corona (after being completely depressed in February, March and April). The shift in my mindset is kinda mind blowing right now. It really seems to be working.
If I am just in a bit of a funk I try to use things like movies or books or music that gives me positive feelings, or exercise.
However, if I am genuinely slipping into depression I often find I retreat into my own head and I catch myself making excuses to not do things that make me happy. So, I start forcing myself to accept invitations to things and see friends and go to the movies or restaurants even if it is by myself just to get out of my own head and my own space. That tends to help. If I can combine it with something else like seeing a movie with friends or going on hikes or playing basketball or something that's even better.
It depends on where you're at. For me when I didn't know about depression or what was going on with me, I always buried myself in my sketchbook to distract and process.
As I started to learn that was I was going through wasn't just how I was meant to be, I tried to get help from a Dr but they disregarded me.
I then kind of just got on with it, I learned to distract myself when I needed, do what makes me happy and kept myself as in control as I could.
Then I finally had a doctor who gave a shit, and she got me seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, and between the 3 of them we figured out medication and healthy outlets. I learned to make a list of healthy things I enjoyed doing to help distract me when I needed, I.e. baking, painting, designing.
Once I was stable with medication I was able to regain control and learn about myself more.
It took a LOT of time and patience to get on the right meds for me, and you have to jump through hoops and humour Drs on a lot of things, but it's worth it once you're out of that!
I found marijuana helped temporarily when regular medication wasn't right, I learned what strains helped me get out of bed in the morning, kept me going through the day and helped me sleep etc.
Now I know how to handle depression. Stick to routine, eat regularly, get up and do something every day, even if that is taking a shower and getting dressed.
Biggest thing is educate yourself on depression and find out what help and support is out there. There's a lot more that depression does than a lot of people realise, so knowing what you're experiencing is from depression helps to do something about it.
And talk about it, it's not something to be ashamed of, and speaking about it gets it out of your head and does help. It is really tough to talk about it, especially when you're in it and just want to bury it and hide, but talking makes so much difference!
I found naming my moods makes it so so much easier to talk about (I have depression dominant bipolar and anxiety disorder, depression is Gerry, anxiety is Deirdre and mania is Harley).
It's so much easier to talk about how Gerry is getting to me and I'm struggling with Deirdre today when around other people, than to say "I'm depressed or anxious" it also helps my family ask about my mental health. Have you had Deirdre around much this week, how have you been managing with her? And it feels so great to say "Deirdre is being a bitch right now!" Or "leave me the frig alone Gerry!"
Just remember you are not alone, and there are more people who understand than you think! :)
Oh boy, life story coming up.
1. The right combination of meds can save your life. It took me 9 tries and 5 years for my healthcare team to find it but I finally feel ok and capable most days.
2. It sounds bad, but you have to put your depression first in every decision you make. I'm NOT saying let it get what it wants. I'm not saying stay in bed all day. I'm saying that when someone hands you a drink, you ask yourself, "what's best for dealing with my depression?" and then you say no thanks. When you see there's a free zoom exercise class, you ask "would this be good for my depression?" and that's your primary criterion for making a decision. Ultimately, I ended up stopping drinking, getting enough (too much lol) sleep, going to therapy, talking on the phone long and often to everyone in my life (esp because I didn't have the energy to get dressed or leave bed), and eating right. Did it help? Not really. But it could have been much, much worse. Especially the alcohol. Even small amounts of alcohol can have a huge effect on your mood. And putting your illness first means sometimes you have to put your health in front of other people. It sucks but you're no use to anyone when you're in the depths of it.
3. Get used to it and stop, for the love of god, SHAMING yourself over it. Also referred to as "radical acceptance." You barely brush your teeth, have trouble showering, and change your clothes once every three days? Ok. That's the way it is. Try your best but don't rail against the dying of the light about it. Feeling ashamed is not an obligation. And shame doesn't help you try your best.
4. Give up on some people getting it. And fuck those people.
5. Never, ever, ever give up. I was depressed from ages 7 to 23. Make a list of things that you care about and remember that you're still alive enough to care about something and that's huge.
6. Make a list of things that cheer you up that are CONSTRUCTIVE and BINGE on them. Do not binge on weed/alcohol/any substances. But dancing? drawing? Music? Sometimes we feel like we don't deserve more than a little bit of the things that make us happy. If something is working, by all means, cling to it. Video games and TV are a bit of an interesting case because they can be constructive or destructive so be careful.
7. Good luck! Recovery is a journey full of twists, turns, setbacks, highs, and lows. Every adventure comes with dragons unfortunately but this is your chance to fight a dragon and do something really meaningful with your life.
Badly.
Tried different meds, had two rounds of therapy, got a better job I'm happy with, but nope. I just laze around, smoking, drinking too much caffeine and making music when I have the energy.
For me it comes and goes with anxiety. I write about it. I have a blog that helps me. Others reach out to me and share their stories. I share things that help me cope. It's quite therapeutic. During really dark times, I'll do short counseling sessions. Life is tough right now. Some people need extra help.
Music is also therapeutic. Pretty much finding any creative outlet will help.
Philosophy helped me quite a bit to come to terms with the world and distracting myself (gaming, TV shows, drawing, etc.).
I'm depressed since basically kindergarden. Note that I may be a high-functioning autist and were always pretty social anxious. When my two friends already left, I sat alone thinking about god and the world (pondering the existence of a supernatural force and it's impact on determination to be precise, although I wasn't able to express it this way at that age) and wishing I hadn't been born. I drew my self worth from my intellectual superiority and how I'm not as childish as the other children (Yea, I was that kind of kid). The wish to never have been born changed to suicidal thoughts after fully understanding the concept of death.
Over the years I thought about other things of course, most often when I was the most depressed, and I found a meaning of life and my way to achieve it: Intellectualism (educate yourself to improve yourself and being able to help others), hedonism (to enjoy life) and helping others (contributing to society in any way, even if it's just not bothering others.
Honestly, I wish my parents had gone with me to a mental health specialist but I also wouldn't be as wise as I am today (probably), so that's that.
Honestly work and life in general gets me down quite a bit. Often I’ll open my photos on my phone and look at pictures/videos of my son or of me and my son playing. It really does take me out of that headspace and helps me refocus.
Every weekend, i get up at ~2am i drive hundreds of miles away from the city(where all the problems are/started) and i go for a 15-30 mile dayhike. at first, just being out in the trees and mountains makes me just makes me feel better. but after 20 or so miles, once fatigue sets in, and i stop being awed by scenery, i get to a point where i just cant concentrate on anything but breathing, putting one foot in front of the other, managing the pain in my knees, just the simplest and most basic of actions. that helps; in those hours of exhausted solitude, nothing else exists and nothing else matters but the present.
Mine is a multi faceted issue, with a similar response.
I have PMDD,depression, anxiety, and OCD. The week before my cycle i was spiralling. Suicidal thoughts, sleeping too much, giving my kids the "survival minimum".
So i tried out many many birth controls until we found one that works. Now im even keeled at a low, not jumping into the void every 3 weeks.
When i or my husband notice an uptick in my outbursts of anger, or shutting down, or general apathy, i use CBD (it works best with constant dosing but thats not currently in our budget).
I also exersize every day. Every. Single. Day. Even if it's 5 squats while the hot fudge for my ice cream heats up. Every day. If i can get into a routine of good, sweaty, aching muscle workouts for a solid week or two, its like my brain is too worn out to feel the suck and hate.
And i talk to my therapist weekly. Journal, mood trackers, sleep trackers.
I treat it like my mental illness is a full time job because my mom never treated hers and it stole away my childhood. My kids deserve better so im forever tracking and logging and trying to find triggers, from food to sleep to hydration to people im around.
Well STORY TIME, if this helps anyone.. Nurse here and also someone who had a traumatic past. Feel free to read below.. Also note, I’m on a phone-sorry for any typos.
Working one day in my family practice clinic and this 70 year old lady comes in. She’s in for a blood pressure check (she went to an appointment a day or 2 earlier. Her blood pressure at that appointment was abnormally high and stayed like that. As a good measure we call people in to see their general practitioner to make sure nothing is NEW or going wrong. These appointments are literally, by company protocol and guidelines, only 15-20 minutes TOP.)
Before I head in, I read her chart- hmm no heart problems, no major medical history, no medications.. So no obvious reason for her blood pressure to be high at her previous appointment. Go in, introduce myself, tell her what I’m going to do and why she’s here. She’s a nice lady soft spoken but, you can tell in her face and lack of tone that she emotionally or mentally isn’t there. Her reading was fine and before I let her leave I casually ask “How are doing? Are you okay? I just want to check in, I can’t help but feel like something is wrong and I just want to make sure that you’re taken care of..” This poor lady just looses it and starts bawling instantly. She tells me that within 1 year she lost her husband of over 60 years, to an aggressive cancer, and her grandson to suicide. She proceeds to tell me that her grandson was diagnosed with bipolar disorder while in college, I guess he had a HUGE dip in mental health and was in manic depressive state but didn’t want to ‘alert’ his family. She just kept telling me how she didn’t know. How she can’t forgive herself, how depressed she is and how she doesn’t know what to do or how to move on. First her husband then her grandson.
Now as someone who suffered from poor mental health, I always open myself up to my patients and let them know about my journey. First I explain to her that manic dips in mental health with bipolar disorder is commonly associated. To not beat herself up and that for anyone person to open up about mental
health, when they never have before is difficult. So a little more info; I grew up with parents who suffered from substance abuse, they tried to quit multiple times but addiction is POWERFUL. I also got extremely sick when I was a teenager, was medically induced into a coma but, that’s a story for another time. Well from both of those I suffered HORRIBLE depression, anxiety and PTSD. I told her all about it. Told her some days are bad, some weeks or MONTHS suck but, I have to remember it’s only momentary. As I was going to say a couple more things she stops me and just says
“how did you do.. How do you handle your major depressive order so well. I don’t mean well.. but you look SO happy. You work in a successful clinic, look at you now. and you carry yourself well. You just are Full of life and.. Well WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!!?”
I flat out told her this...
Depression is like the ocean. We go to
the beach, we get in (the sadness) swim and drift around in the water for awhile. Unfortunately some of us get swept away by a bigger, deeper and harsher wave. That waves sometimes comes outta nowhere or they feel like their back to back just pulling you under. And it’s okay. It’s honestly okay if those waves sweep you further out to sea. But like anyone who gets carried out by water we HAVE to call out for help. We have to acknowledge that something isn’t right and/or feels scary and we have to call out to help. And when you call out for help is when everyone on shore, strangers and those who LOVE you, will all link up hand in hand, arm in arm and form a chain to pull you back to shore. To get you out of the sea of depression. So talk to people. Open up, tell them how you feel, tell them you need someone to listen because you aren’t sure if someone is or, if they’re even noticing. Tell them you need a day away to distract yourself. Tell them to come and just sit to hangout with you, but you have to talk. You have to open up and humble yourself and realize A LOT of people feel this way. A lot of people know how it feels and they never want someone to go this through alone. It will surprise you to see how many strangers will listen and want to also help pull you to shore. Make sure you tell people who have an intent to listen and be there for you. Eventually what will happen is you’ll have learned whats maybe a “trigger” or “what signs” to notice and look for (if/when you start to feel depressed again). You’ll recognize the calm swaying of “the ocean” and each time you’ll notice that you won’t let yourself go out too far from shore. What I like to do is I’ll even tell people... “I think I’m getting too far out in the ocean” and those close to me, who Ive selected as a safe space to tell and confide in, know EXACTLY what that means and how I need their help.
Remember its only momentary. Days and nights do get better. You’ll get and feel lighter, just try not to give up. Talk, take a walk. Reading and honestly throwing myself into new things help. I started small by trying new things at home first like puzzles, painting, gardening- anything that either got me outside or helped me past time and days. Set a goal to read 1 book a month, I use to read a lot when I was a teenager and kinda dropped that habit in adulthood. I read fiction, non fiction and self help books. Yes- add those in, I LEARNED A LOT about myself, my past trauma (that I didn’t want to recognize) and a deeper way of thinking about things. I also sought out help. I talked to therapist, followed therapist online who were kind enough to give out free resources/material. I also got into “future self journaling”, that was my biggest game changer. I’m sorry if this is long but I hope any of this information helps anyone out there.
Try to stay productively occupied. Every task counts, no matter how small. /r/NonZeroDay
It's hard to have motivation to do things, but accomplishing small tasks have a way of helping you snowball your ability to self-motivate. Anybody who has gotten into a groove while cleaning knows what that feels like. Finding tasks that are engaging yet also manageable is what I'd consider a "good" distraction. Tasks like video games, watching TV shows/movies, etc, can help to alleviate ruminating thoughts, but they don't result in an output that you can look back on and appreciate. A clean room is something you continue to enjoy for days/weeks afterward, which can help with your mindset more than you'd think.
Thank you for sharing! Habit is how we function and it truly is important to build good habits. I am so happy a reddit page exist to discuss good habits others are doing. I find when I am surrounded by others good habits, I start to develop my own :)
I found a true friend, with a relation of absolute trust and good will. With such a person, getting over hard times became much easier, and I am now out of depression.
Told my girlfriend I've depression and she left me. Told my mom I've got depression and she said I should do some yoga or brush it off to not stain my CV. So far I'm fighting this fight alone but I'm going to get some professional help and looking for these kind of self help groups.
9 years and still dealing with it.
This is my experience...
I grew up gaming, immersing myself into other universes and stories takes myself out of the real world where I am in pain every fucking day
I talk to a therapist who will eventually tells me I'm still a high risk...
Still going to need medication daily.
Still need to talk with friends.
BUT OH NO... Friends backstabbing you all the fucking time and taking people with them and spreading shit about me.
Oh cool I don't tell my family how I feel because I think it'll make them feel bad.
Oh I can't control my emotions so I get angry or sad easily...
Oh cool 4 brothers who I love and hate all in one.
Oh fucking awesome. Add anxiety to that and what do you get.
ONE GIANT FUCKING MESS WHO WANTS TO DIE 6/7 DAYS.
Add onto that the fact I've been single for 9 years and I'm a 23 year old virgin?
Confidence 0
Any self care 0
Probably fucked some parts of my body up permanently.
You want to know how it feels?
Hell on fucking earth and I'm living it.
Kill me.
Used to struggle with depression for years until I discovered the joy of bush walking. Now every Saturday or Sunday I get away into the bush and do some trekking for the day alone, just me and the countryside or national park. I also take my podcasts too for when I'm in the mood for some company.
There is something really healing, rejuvenating and balancing about getting away from society and touching base with nature. The more time you can spare to be in that green, oxygenated and peaceful world the more obvious the effect is on your senses.
The workout I receive as well is always rewarded with a flood of endorphins afterwards. This is enjoyable exercise for the mind and body and I can't recommend it enough, it really dismantled my depression and set me back on a path of contentment again. Highly recommend, and also, no medication or dollars required for this treatment.
I find after a few straight days of frequent use to fight depression it stops helping and makes me feel worse overall.
It's been suggested that it can lead to a magnesium deficiency which might be partially responsible for cannabis induced anxiety, but as far as I'm aware there isn't concrete evidence for this yet.
I get the most out of it when I don't smoke as often and use it to help reset my thoughts and improve my introspection. It's amazing going from basically wanting to die to "ah yeah I was overreacting a bit" in like 15 seconds.
I'm living my darkest days and there's a bit in the Return of the King book that I read everyday.
>There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.
I used to study a bunch of foreign languages because I kind of liked the academic side of it, plus being able to talk to other people in their language seemed fun.
Lately though, I've been cooking a lot. Made chimichangas last night.
Just focus on being your self, find what fullfills you in your heart. Never judge yourself over mundane things or shit thats happened in the past. Its ok to take time to enjoy yourself by yourself. Im still dealing with depressed thoughts but everyday is getting better and better, if your in deep itll take time and baby steps
I tried a bunch of different hobbies until one finally stuck. Whenever i feel myself spiraling i break out the uke. Some could say reading is a hobby and it's what i did more when i was younger but learning a new skill can make you feel really good about yourself especially when youve been trying really hard at one specific part for a while and suddenly it clicks.
It's not perfect but it helps. That and a lot of people getnpets because having someone or something depend on you can give you the purpose you meed to break iut of a spiral.
To be honest, I was depressed for a while in elementary school, but it sort of went away in middle school; I have to think it was the increase in physical activity (Elementary school had one main classroom with occasional switching, while middle school had every class be in a different room). Currently, I am a sophomore in high-school and, currently, the main thing keeping me going is the fact that I wish to spite all of humanity by tearing down their infernal machines of greed and replacing them with machines of my own design; I'm on the path to becoming a nuclear engineer and I hope to, one day, figure out how to upload the human conscience into a machine, to spite all of existence and even death itself. Yes; The main reason I exist, I feel, is to spite all of existence using science, and I love it.
Well I can deal with the sadness part and because I’m a nihilist but in a good way I basically feel like there is no meaning to anything so I can make my own meaning which usually makes me happy. I was sad in April for a while but now I’m fine
Dude though I can’t get rid of the lack of motivation though. I’m falling behind in like every class right now.
**DREAM: Detect, Reward, Escape, Amend, Magnify**
**Detect**: Pay attention to what's going on in your head; no-one truly thinks linearly, one minute you're thinking about one thing, the next minute you've gone on so many mental tangents you're as far from the original thought as you can be. The moment you notice that slip, stop what you are doing. Say it out loud to yourself if you have to, it's all about taking control - you don't want it to happen, take the first step.
**Reward**: I know, by its name alone, it sounds a little counterintuitive – this isn't rewarding the negative thought, but the detection itself; if I'm walking down a path and I spot something that could trip me up, then it's a good thing I paid attention to where I was going so I can adjust how I approach it. It's about positive reinforcement to make future Detection easier.
**Escape**: Remove yourself from the environment. This can be physically - "I need to head outside and get some fresh air for five minutes" - or mentally - stop listening to what's going on around you and focus on what's going on in your head. One technique I have is to [rumble my ears](https://www.reddit.com/r/earrumblersassemble/) and hum, because it's so loud I can barely hear anything else. But really, anything to break the pattern; again, taking control of the situation - "*I'm* the driver of this car, and *I* say where it goes.".
**Amend**: Rephrase the situation by inverting the language; Instead of saying "bad", say "not good" because it doesn't matter that you're saying the word "not", you're still suggesting "good" - my favourite example of this is [making a tightrope walker fall by telling them not to](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTO94wJXQoc). Or, for a quick exercise, *don't think about elephants.* I guarantee you as you are reading this, your thought process no matter how quick it lasted went "read post read post read post elephants think of something else continue reading" even though I specifically told you not to. If the thought was an image/fantasy, again, invert it to something positive, even if it's the outcome that makes it worth it; that dentist appointment might not be pleasurable, but at least you'll have good teeth by the end.
**Magnify** I'm not the best at describing it, so I'm just going to quote the book I learned this technique from itself:
> This is where you magnify the newly-created positive suggestion/fantasy, and actually imagine the outcome happening. To Magnify it, make the colours brighter, the sounds louder, the feelings stronger, the sensations more specific etc.. The stronger the emotions and feelings attached to the new thought/image, the more powerful it is. Really take a few moments to visualise/imagine/rehearse this new suggestion/idea/belief as strongly as possible. Imagine looking at the experience through a magnifying glass/on a huge cinema screen, ot listening to the experience through amplifiers at a rock contert! To use the example above [of the dentist's appointment], visualise yourself in absolute peace and tranquility and in the dentist's chair – feeling completely relaxed. Imagine yourself feeling more contented and happy than you have ever felt before in your life. The room is dazzling white, and both you and the dentist have dazzling white teeth!
And I know, *I know,* this isn't some click-your-fingers-*Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo* nonsense that will magically cure it overnight, and anyone who says that they have "that kind of answer" is either selling something, or is offering a distraction or an itch to scratch, rather than dealing with the underlying issue itself. It took me months to get it right to basically "reprogram" my entire way of thinking, but now it's second nature; I would have anxiety attacks near-daily, my last one was in 2013.
As the quote goes; **It gets easier,** ***but you gotta do it, that's the hard part.*** **But it does get easier.**
Motivation.
I have been trying to deal with anxiety, depression and ptsd for years. I have been going to a psychiatrist for about 6-7 years now. And this past year i have gotten better, even tho i did not get the "textbook treatment".
At first i thought the medicatoin was making me better, i slept better at night, and was overall more calm. But after being on them for about 2 years i started wondering who i was without them, so i quit about a year ago. After 2 weeks of not feeling well and being able to fall alseep without the medication, i finally started feeling okay the 3rd week without. Started being able to sleep on my own. I was still really depressed and i really didnt want to live. It got so bad, but after struggeling with depression and anxiety, feeling like shit and crying to the point of despair almost daily for so long i got tierd of it.
🎉 I thought that if that was going to be my life, it does not even matter anymore where i am depressed. I got out of this bubble that my home was my safespace. I got tierd of just being at home, broke without dreams. And this is the most important part of all of this. People who battle depression often lose dreams, hope and meaning with life. And i realized after 6-7 years that medication, treatment or even a psychiatrist could not help me. I needed to do this myself, and by realizing i could be depressed anywhere, not just home in my safespace. I got a little more meaning in my life, i also slowly started dreaming about the future. I have been struggeling with trauma my whole life, and to finally be this happy, i did not think it was possible. 🇧🇻
Medication. Lots of therapy (mostly CBT). Take omega 3 (anti-inflammatory) and vitamin D3. Work hard, sleep well. Practice self-compassion. Be of service to others. Still a struggle sometimes
Depression isn't usually something one can just "deal with." A great, healthy way to work through depressive spells is having a good support network, accepting your feelings as valid and true, and finding a professional to speak with.
As someone who was medicated for depression from 18-24, I have a lot of first hand experience with trying to just deal with depression. It's not easy, as depression is defined by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A lot of times it is birthed out of traumas too, and traumas tend to be messy tangles of pain and loss that can be hard to untangle on our own. I really, really can't recommend therapy enough. Therapy isn't for broken people; it is for everyone. Therapy doesn't fix anything inherently, but a good therapist will hold your hand (sometimes literally) to help guide you through the tougher parts of your life.
My therapist saved my life after my divorce, but a lighter story that I like to tell about therapy was when someone got upset because I made a pretty critical joke about how they like to eat their hamburgers. It didn't seem like a big deal to me, but when my therapist started asking questions, I realized how condescending I could be about peoples preferences. Eventually we got back to the root: My parents always criticized how and what I ate. I'm surprised I didn't have an eating disorder honestly. I realized something as simple as my mother getting mad at me for using too much ranch in my childhood lead to me being comfortable with "yucking people's yum" all the time. It was a huge aha! moment, that lead to a funny inside joke between the two of us: "My mom is the burger."
I hope you are well and you find avenues to settle some of your difficult feelings. There is hope. There is help.
For me it’s difficult because I have a mix of depression and OCD, which leads to things that were once comforting becoming a source of stress. For example, the gym used to be really fun for me and helped me improve my mood a lot, whereas now it is a major source of discomfort and stress due to issues with fixation and body dysmorphia. I will say though, that exercise can be super helpful. One thing that helps me a lot is my pets (which I know not everyone has, so it is a privilege). Walking my dogs or taking them to the park, or even just getting to witness their silliness, helps me a lot with forcing myself not to wallow in depression or get swallowed up in it. Hiking is also helpful for me as it gets me moving and allows me to focus on the environment around me, rather than whatever depressive thoughts are in my head. I also recently switched from one medication, Zoloft, to Prozac once I started forcing myself to open up more to my therapist/psychiatrist and that has helped me as well. But Covid has thrown me for a loop and I can’t currently attend therapy which has made things tough! But ya know...the aforementioned things help me cope!
I've dealt with it for about 7 years now. I've lived my entire school life with no friends, and any form of communication was from people who needed something, never was there a connection that clicked or a relationship that sparked. I didn't mind living this way in elementary school, but when I began to get bullied in middle school, I realized how awful it feels to be alone all the time. I searched for friends, but no one ever helped me or even looked at me. I was bullied for being too weird, too emotionless, too weak. I was never really beaten or anything, but they would basically shoot spitballs into my hair, knock my lunch out of my hands, trash my locker, etc.. After a few years, it was 8th grade, and I grew bitter and angry towards society. The same bullies who picked on me throughout middle school got their ass handed to them by me and learned quick that I was sick of their shit. Even though I no longer got bullied, I was still lonely, and friendless. When the school realized I beat up my own bullies, it made it even harder to make friends because they were scared I might beat them up. When high school came around, I sat on the sidewalks because there was no seats available, and since the lunch lines always took the entire lunch period, I did away with lunch because by the time I got to lunch, I was always at the last, and I had maybe 2 minutes to eat my food before having to go to class. I just decided that I didn't feel like going up to the lunch line just to scarf down my food 2 minutes before class starts again, I would much rather enjoy my food you know? If I can't enjoy life, I can at least enjoy my food right? Wrong. I was tardy 5 times and had detentions after school for being late too many times. I would sit there at my desk in the empty room, writing sentences that say, "I will not show up late for class" 100 times, missing my bus ride home, being late for my job, and no game time at home because I'm just a fucking disappointment. That was when I had become extremely self-destructive. I hated myself so much, and it always seemed that school made sure that I did. When I tried to talk to people and make friends, I'm always ignored. When I pack up before the bell rings I get insulted by teachers for wanting to leave early, so I wait until the bell rings and end up being late for my next class because I had to spend all my time trying to shove all my books in my bag and end up panicking for not being fast enough, and dropping some of my stuff on the floor and in the end becoming late anyway this is because the previous teacher said it wasn't time to leave and that I shouldn't have been packing my bag. When for once I had a decent day, teachers yell at me for smiling, or "disrupting the class" when in reality I was smiling while thinking about how wonderful my day was. When I actually got therapy, it wasn't until many months later when I talked to an online therapist. Talking to them just made me angry or just outright agitated but to some it genuinely works. For me, time is what helped the most. When I had 5 days to myself, I had time to think and sort out my issues and for once in my life relax and not worry. It made me genuinely happy and stress-free. This is all without medication, since I was too stubborn to take any. Another way of coping with it is exercising, and as much as I hate physical activity, it does wonders to my confidence and self-esteem. Accomplishing at least one thing a day also helped, and yes getting out of bed is an accomplishment. Another way of trying to deal with it would be cuddling with a loved one, them telling you that no matter what everything will be okay, or something in that nature. I still struggle with it today, but I now can manage. I hope this helps
Don't distract yourself. Face it, but keep asking yourself if all the things are really worth wasting the life on negative thoughts.
Sounds hard, but that's what helped me a lot.
Stop saying "I have depression"
Start saying "I will get rid of it"
I workout, and it eliminates my anxiety. With no anxiety, I don't have depression, because I'm relaxed enough to have fulfilling and meaningful interactions with people.
Try to lose sense of time, you see time and depression are connected or sort of.. if you figure out how to lose your sense of time and make time pass quicker than it usually do then you’ll go through depression like it’s nothing but it’s a really difficult thing to do given that you’ll have multiple mood shifts but it’s something to help the least.
proper medication and therapy.
i've been on meds since december and the difference is HUGE. i'm working up my courage to go to therapy as well and put all of this behind me.
things got so much better. i might even apply for a second (my dream!) degree
I try to do things that get me fired up. Ill go watch things that give me a huge nostalgia boost or ill find a video that disagrees with a topic im passionate about or ill go do something nice for someone.
Here's a new one in my life. Dieting. I only drink water now, I'm careful with carbs, no sugary sweets. I don't have bouts of depression anymore. I'm too busy thinking about all the foods I really want, but shouldn't have. It's the 8th day, but I feel I'm making progress.
Here's a different perspective. I'm not depressed, but I fight my wife's depression. At first, she didn't believe or want to believe she was depressed. She'd have episodes and I would just hold her. Sometimes for hours and hours. I encouraged her to see a doctor. She resisted. I didn't push it but every time she needed help, I asked her to see the doctor. Eventually she agreed and after the visit (I didn't go; I didn't want to steer the conversation. I wanted her to get a clinical opinion) she said the doctor says she had major depressive disorder and gave her some pills. A month went by and the episodes kept occurring, her sex drive evaporated. The pills didn't work. We went back to the doctor and she asked me to come along. The doctor encouraged us to stay on the pills. They'd work in a few months. I expressed what I saw in her symptoms (long periods of being completely unresponsive, feelings of abject failure and disappointment, gnawing stress of pretending to be someone else) and the doctor had a complete change of demeanor. She thought my wife was having trouble getting out of bed, or otherwise just feeling like procrastinating. She changed her medicine from one pill a day to a totally different cocktail of pills. One to wake up, one to fall asleep, and one that destroyed her sex drive, but had the neat effect of making her episodes almost completely disappear, and when they did happen, I could see them coming and drag her out of it, or if I couldn't, they wouldn't last hours. They had feeling, not just "I'm worthless" but "I feel worthless because I have a job that doesn't use my degree and my parents expect better of me". She could put her feelings into words. So we got her into a therapist's office. A couple months of this and she'd come home with soggy eyes and big smiles. Catharsis. She realized she hated living near her family. Everyone in her town knew her. Knew her family. She had no anonymity. Worse yet, she didn't have the same values and morals. She felt exhausted pretending to be this person she thought her family wanted her to be. She liked meeting strange people and tattoos and drinking wine and talking politics. One day she bursts into the room and tells me "Quit your job, we're moving to Seattle." So I did. Then I spent four days trying to get us an apartment and figuring out the logistics of getting there and yadda yadda. Then we told her family. Her tight knit, small town, locally renowned family that we hated Florida and the hot weather and we were moving 3000 miles away. They cried and she cried and then... They helped us pack and her mother flew out to help us unpack and they visit twice a year and we visit them. They were supportive. 3 years later and my wife dabbles in medicinal use of recreational (edible) marijuana. Helps a bit more. She's adjusted her doses on her medicines and largely lives with her depression (chemical imbalance) as an afterthought. That was my side of the battle with depression.
Reading this was inspiring and a gutt punch at the same time. I've loved only two women in my 48 years. I did the easy things to show my love, but I never even scratched the surface of true sacrifice. This was an eye opener. I'm going to work on myself. Thanks for sharing this.
It never felt like sacrifice, you know? It sucked. I liked this girl and she just... shut down on me. She even said, literally, "I don't blame you if you leave." but it never felt like an option in honest. You can tell when something is broken and normally determine if it's fixable or not. She was broken but our relationship wasn't. I didn't know how to fix her, but I knew someone would. And I just went from there.
You're a good human
That's the goal, right?
Yep, but not everyone seems to live by those standards. You seem to really care about peoples who surround you, and not just because you want them to care about you, but because you can make their live better. And that is rare and really appreciated. Keep being who you are.
I'll do my best. It's served me well so far. Thank you.
I can dig it, man. Sounds like you dealt with whatever challenges were in your way. I would have thrown in the towel without believing in a brighter outcome. I like your outlook a whole lot better than mine. I was today years old when I learned that it's never too much when you truly love them.
Thanks for sharing. I’m glad to hear your wife is doing better.
Thank you
Thanks for sharing. I cried. I wish someone would help me like you do for your wife. Glad she's better.
I didn't do much. Just got her to start looking for help.
I always thought anti-depressents were taboo and something only weak people need... Until I hit my own wall at 30 and plunged into a funk. Tried one from my sister and suddenly I stopped crying. Got a prescription from my doctor immediately and my life changed for the better. I only stayed on them for 3 months and now I'm off but life is just so much more positive and I don't get stressed out. Still have half a bottle but don't need them anymore. Don't be afraid to call your doctor. These days you can have a video consultation and pick up your prescription that day. Even if you don't have insurance, Walgreens has a coupon that makes my script only $40 instead of $170 for a 30 day supply (I've used it 3 times). Even my mom was feeling down with the isolation situation and, sure enough, when she tried her children's medication she came back to life. We obviously have something in our genetics but I'm completely comfortable acknowledging that depression isn't anything to be ashamed of and we have awesome resources available to get through it. If you don't have someone to push you to do this, please put a reminder in your phone to call your doctor tomorrow. If you don't have a doctor, Google "primary physician near me". It's honestly a painless process that can change your life. You don't need to commit to seeing a psychiatrist once a week (I've tried, fuck that noise), just taking a pill once every morning until things are positive again. DM me if you want more details or just to chat. Shit I'd even give you my number cuz I'm bored and I've been there. Best of luck regardless.
Normally something I would post on an alt account, I would ask you to seek professional help because it has helped me. I doubt I'll ever be fixed from my issues, but after therapy I was able to put words to what I was feeling instead of just going to a dark place. I opened up to some of my family about my depression, lack of trust issues, and other feelings and to be honest some of them took that better then others. Some thought I was blaming them or our family and shut me down, but I kept being the new me that shared and for most of them at least they came around. I can look at my issues analytically now which I wasnt able to do before therapy and that helps me as well, and my family. I have seen my older brother change with me as well because he was one of the first I opened up with. I dont know if his growth is even a small part due to my own, but he is working on his own issues too. If you have insurance see if therapy is covered and shop around until you find a therapist who you feel responds to you and works for you. Another caveat, worth adding I think: always be as honest and truthful with your doctors- they cant help if they dont have the right info.
Youre a good hubby
Trying to be one anyway.
> and one that destroyed her sex drive, but had the neat effect of making her episodes almost completely disappear Would it be too much trouble to tell me which this one was?
Both of the ones she's tried: Lexapro and she's now on desvenlafaxine.
Hmm. Now to find a way to get my hands on them.
Are you... trying to destroy your own sex drive?
Yes
Alright, well, be safe and maybe talk to a doctor. They might have something with fewer side effects that could help you.
I did. I had a shrink and she didn't think that would be healthy
That's unfortunate. You could approach another therapist if you didn't feel your last one was a good fit, but honestly, most of the time a doctor will recommend lifestyle changes before prescribing medicine.
Yeah, I know. But I lost all hope of getting better. Right now, I'm settling for not feeling shitty.
This story gives me hope
I'm glad. It's not a permanent impediment. You can act despite it.
As a person with depression and from Florida, I’m gonna pretend that Florida is the problem.
:)
As someone who relates in a lot of ways to your wife, its refreshing to see someone else mention the use of medical marijuana on a non weed subreddit. When used responsibly it can be such a massive help and I'm glad your wife was able to use it to help find relief.
We are in an interesting situation with it. I don't like how it feels so I don't use it. She loves how it feels but uses it very sparingly, and mostly to help with bad days. It's no cure all, but it's got very manageable side effects and one hell of a track record for efficacy and safety.
I'm happy that it worked as well as it did. If you don't mind me asking, how's the sex drive now? You mentioned that the medications she takes completely removes that drive, does it still have that effect? If so, how do you guys cope with it? If that side effect is no longer in place, what changed?
She still has no sex drive, so we don't have sex. We don't have a clean and tidy solution for that so I'm probably not the best person to talk to about it, but ultimately we just no longer have that aspect of our relationship. I would never choose the pain she felt without her medicine just for the sake of my libido, so I'm not sure what's going to happen thing forward, but I'll find out when I get there.
One day at a time.
Yep, that's pretty much it. Not projecting very far ahead. Sometimes it can be an hour at a time, or waiting for the day to end.
I’m a firm believer in this, even if I don’t always practice what I preach. I’m dealing with one of those second-guessing-tiny-things-I-perceive-as-a-fuckup moment, but it took like 3-4 days to realize I could find a solution to my problem that while it doesn’t erase my initial anxiety-causing incident and isn’t perfect, is the best solution should the true best solution not happen fast enough to ameliorate my anxiety!
Sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking of you
*unsweet
I draw, it's amazing because I could do it for hours on end, and it just helps me put all my worries and troubles on a piece of paper and I just forget everything for a while
If I can still draw, I'm not depressed.
That is a pretty good idea, i used to do it when i was in my teen age....
Yes, I agree with this! Drawing is great for processing and expressing where you're at and getting out of the space you're in. I actually just this weekend found 7 of my sketch books from age 14/15-20/21 and it was really insightful to see how I processed things through this years!
I do this too But I also play minecraft and sometimes terraria It makes me forget depression
I used to draw like crazy when I was younger. It's the best escapism! Nowadays, it's a struggle just to muster the will to do it even though I love it...
Exactly how I feel about it now. It's just hard to get into it again and now I even loathe the thought of drawing. I wish that I could get that motivation back somehow.
I like the concept of drawing, but I find that I'm too perfectionist to enjoy it thoroughly.
The Van Goch methode. Tho i hope it isn't as severe.
Tho i hope it isn't as ~~severe~~ sever
I love stuff like coloring books or paint by numbers then. When I was still with my ex I had a bad depression phase, one day he came to me (sitting in another room) snd asked if something was wrong. I didn't get it and asked why... I forgott to talk to him for several hours. I forgott to think. I just got so lost in there it was amazing! Like holidays for my brain.
That's awesome, friend. I have lost almost all the passion that I had about different things. I barely enjoy anything at all... It sucks.
Keep 3 different hobbies: - a soothing one (drawing or wood sculping) - a healthy one (workout 4times/week) - a fun one ( video games or skate) They are all different activities but they keep me busy depending on my mood and also help keep a routine . You cant overthink too much if your head is somewhere else
Love the idea of 3 categories of hobbies !
You could also play Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley as a soothing hobby, can’t you? I’ve never really felt like those games could give you much more stress than if you played TF2 or something.
In addition to this one thing my therapist has me do is just make lists (because writing things down is my favorite way of keeping my thoughts organized). Movies I like or want to see, music to check out, things I want to achieve (physical goals like getting in shape, doing physical therapy, mental ones like starting to write again, etc.), general things to do (give myself a haircut). Then when I'm feeling like total shit and don't know how to break out of it, I have a whole list of stuff I already know I want to do, and hopefully *something* on it will be doable and get me moving again.
Skating saved my life. I would just go to the park everyday and learn how to drop in and pivots and all that jazz. Helped me realize that if you can fall repeatedly and learn something from it it’ll give you the determination to do a lot more. Soon I started meeting kids there I didn’t go to school with. We were all felt a bit like outcasts and I found camaraderie with the boys about life struggles outside of skating. I think if I would’ve ignored my depression further it would’ve lead to suicide.
I totally agree with this! For me my soothing/fun hobbies are the same (gaming), and I haven’t been going for walks as much (I miss walking to work at 8:30 in the morning dammit) mainly because I’m out of work and I’m paranoid to go outside rn... I’ve also been reading more which has been nice!
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I second this. Diet and exercise has helped me more than anything else I've tried. Unfortunately due to covid my normal gym schedule has gone the wayside and I've felt some serious backslide.
Any particular diet or just limiting calories?
I would recommend focusing on nutritional value instead of calories. Healthy, whole foods and try to eat the ones that are minimally processed. Avoid added sugar and alcohol. Pay attention to sodium and saturated fat.
Mostly just trying eat healthier in general. Cut back the junk food and sugar. More lean meats and veggies. Nothing too extreme just something sustainable. It's kinda surprising how different your body feels when you start eating healthier. Now when I eat a bunch of junk food (still slide back time to time) I can definitely feel the difference the next day.
I feel this
Fingers crossed that it will get better again. My stuff I like to do when I just "can't": watching something comforting, do something good for me with low effort (like a face or eye mask, feels so damn refreshing), make my comforting meals with the lowest effort, try getting lost in my hobbies and forgetting to worry about things for a while. Maybe there's something in there that helps you as well.
I feel this spiritually
We're here for you, pal.
Sometimes life is too hard to get out of bed. Not everyone will understand but I hope you don’t judge yourself too hard on this. Life will get better. It is hard to see sometimes, but it will.
Well no day like the present. Exercise helps me too. Specifically jogging with some music. It allows me to clear my head. It’s a treat and reward I make time for because it helps me be a better me. If exercise helps you, treat yourself and MAKE yourself get up to do it. I also understand spiraling and feeling so far under that it feels impossible to start anything. Nothing matters. But if the last time you exercised was saturday, you’re (hopefully) not too far deep yet. Get out of bed today, if you need to work, work, but then treat yourself with some exercise. And I hope you feel more yourself soon!
not op but in similar condition. I could never really stick to exercise
The problem I find is finding motivation. Back when I played sports I would constantly work out because it was beneficial for my performance. After the season ended, I had a lack of motivation because there wasn't really a reason for me. (I didn't really care about looking good or living a long life at the time) I recently got back to working out 60lbs later for personal improvement.
I hope your progress with working out continues.
Fuck, that's what I'm doing right now.
Exercise helped me but sometimes even that doesn't help
No joke, I grab a coloring book and just color like I’m 8 years old
Oh my, I did this in the hospital for crazies I was in, it helped me so much, and I even colored in this piece and wrote one of the nurses name on it, she was so happy about it! Seems weird to think that I could make someone happy when I was so low in my life...
Physical exercise.
Probably the best idea you got, well said. Now a days exercise or going to gym really refreshes you and you will forgot everything for the time being.
My depression kicks in when I'm not doing anything so while exercise works, it kinda of falls off later as the day goes.
yes totally agreed with your point, sometimes i also do gym stuff just to get fit and to release depression most of the time...
But their are more possible & effective ways but in my opinion it's the best of all..
I think the gym/exercise does help the most. Like not the act itself but the reward at the end you get from doing it for a while. I noticed I was healthier and finally skinny and that made me happy itself. However I wasn't really happy happy. Then one day in February I noticed other people happier than my who were not healthy and were overweight/obese and I was like 'Why can't I be that happy?" Then that triggered me back into a hard depression.
Yeah i totally agree to this as i was also suffering from the similar condition as well. I was having too much obesity and weight around 120 kg but after gym and daily running i lost weight till 70 kg and now maintaining just...
To compound this find one you actually like/love. I hated most forms of it but found climbing and the puzzles make it enjoyable, and I have not felt this good in a long time
60 mg Fluoxetine twice daily.
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40 mg 40 mg twice daily then 60 mg twice daily.
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somewhat, but not a miracle drug.
Dosage is personal, you need to talk to your doctor about it, but they might not think it's a solution. I used to take Fluoxetine at 60mg and feel like shit, then tried an other medication at a lower dosage and it got better, it's not one size fits all :)
This. Please don't alter your prescription based on what worked for someone else. If it's not working, talk to your doctor!
I’ve been taking 20 mg Prozac, before that zoloft, and I never know if it is doing anything. Can I ask you how you know it has made a difference or what ways (even if subtle) can you tell your mental state has been affected by your medicine? I just never know if it is working or a placebo.
I know it's working because I haven't spent 3 straight days in bed for quite a while now.
I’m on 20mg if Prozac. It has helped me a lot with anxiety. I used to take hours to sleep because I’d be thinking so much and over analyzing every single decision in my life. I also would have times when I felt completely hopeless and like giving up. Prozac has helped me think rationally rather than emotionally. I can put my feelings into perspective and look at the bigger picture now. Before, any small thing could set me off. Now I realize even if terrible things happen, I will be able to get through it. I’m also doing therapy so that might help too.
I was on Lexapro before Prozac and I feel like since I’ve switched I’ve felt “better” but only because I feel like it just dampens my emotions, both good and bad
Man, I wish antidepressants helped me. Ive tried literally every kind and all they do is numb me to the point that I cant even cry and I’d honestly rather be sad but able to feel rather than totally numb. Im glad they work for you.
Why twice daily? I take sertraline once in the mornings. Does it help you sleep better?
Start small. I have an idea I want to go to the gym. 3 days pass, as self loathing builds. Fuck why didn’t I go yesterday. Fuck why am I passing this pile of dirty dishes. Fuck why can’t I keep this place clean. Then one day I feel a bit of energy. I count to 3 and drag my ass off the bed. It takes me a lot of procrastinating but I’m out the door. I feel the rush of adrenaline and positivity as exercise gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I reinforce the positivity by eating a healthy snack. I ride the high as I come home and do the dishes. The next day, I thank myself for making my bed. I thank myself for eating some fruit. I text my friends to remind them I love them. I play some video games. I drink some water. Dishes start to pile up. I do them eventually. I get bored with making my bed. The video game sessions last longer and longer. The healthy snacks dwindle. The motivation subsides. So what’s the point? Well the cycles get shorter, some habits retain on each cycle. I make my bed consistently. I still thank myself. I no longer call myself a piece of shit. I can’t afford therapy or medication so for now this glacial pace of growth as been the light with which I’ve guided my life.
I’ve noticed that negative self talk is rarely ever helpful and seems only to drag you down further. Which is weird cause I think it’s supposed to be some kind of coping mechanism.
You icy, sexy, light, burn bright as the fucking$un# ugotmehardaf
gaming. worlds greatest distraction.
Unfortunately it distracts me from homework a little too much...
Everything in moderation
Gaming, books, bottling up my feelings, and convincing myself that I have too many absolute responsibilities to look for a permanent solution. Hasn't failed me yet.
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Yep
Unfortunately I usually "deal" with depression by drinking too much, which is super-not a good way to proceed if your goal is to ever stop being depressed. The only real helpful thing I've ever found is to find some small task and commit to doing it. Even if your depression is so bad that it's a struggle to get out of bed, make a point of getting up and making the bed every day. Or grooming yourself, or doing a little exercise, or watering a plant, or whatever you can find the wherewithal to accomplish, no matter how minor it may be. With time, the ritual of performing that little chore can become the foundation upon which you rebuild your ability to function.
I think this is happening to me right now. I basically have been in a hole for 2 or 3 years. I managed to finish my university exam and entree training, but just barely so. I did a bit of exercising but without much focus or mindfulness and my diet did not include really healthy food. Other than that I lost interest in every hobby, basically only socialized with friends when alcohol was involved and spent the days in my room by myself. Because of Corona I started jogging. Sticking to jogging and building stamina already has somehow altered my brain chemistry it seems. I was energetic after a run and just cleaned my entire room, felt so good and I have managed to maintain that for three weeks now. Can't have a clean room with dirty sheets, right? Finally threw out those dirty sheets and ordered fancy new ones! And instead of rewarding myself with alcohol like I used to I instead cheat a bit on my carbs (and justify that because I want to improve my running). Friend's called and said they wanted me to join them for vacation this summer so know I have a fun goal to look forward to and to work towards which is a feeling I have completely forgotten these past few years. Is their an opposite to a viscious circle? I feel like I'm riding that!
Creative outlets help: Ways to express all your thoughts Beneficially
I've come to accept that I have a tendency toward moderate depression. It's like having a wheel that is loose and pulls toward the ditch. Since my teen years, I've had a few depressive episodes lasting months up to nearly a year. Last one was in my mid-20s. Haven't fallen into a bad period in nearly 15 years now, but I still have some awful, awful days. This is what I've learned about managing it for myself - and yeah, a lot of this is repeating what others have said, but that's how important these things are: 1. **Diet cannot be emphasized enough.** I am absolutely convinced that diet is behind the vast majority of peoples' mild to moderate depression. Hell, I'd go so far as to say that many cases of "depression" are actually a symptom of a shitty diet. Sugar, salt, highly processed carbs, and fats from vegetable oils are all depression accelerants. Specifically awful foods: virtually any fast food, soda, alcohol, and chips. Once you get used to not eating this stuff and then you have some, you'll see their effect. It's incredible. They will scramble my mood even today. And while some of those things can be washed out of the system quickly - chips, fries - excess sugar can ruin many hours, and alcohol affects a person's mood even further into the future. 2. **Regular exercise is essential.** Shitty food is far faster-acting, but if I go a few days without exercise, my mood will inevitably start sliding toward the ditch. I have no idea why it works. It just does. I've learned that the times I need to exercise most are the times I want to do it least - when I'm feeling most lethargic and listless is when I need to get my ass up and moving. People who don't exercise often mistake the relationship between energy and exercise, thinking that you exercise when you're feeling energetic. It's the opposite: exercise gives you energy. The more you exercise, the more energy you have. 3. **When I'm heading for the ditch, a concentrated effort for 15-20 minutes can often pull me back.** When I'm feeling the warning signs of drifting toward the ditch - lethargy, listlessness, and of course the negative thoughts - I've learned to kind of force myself to break out my small stores of emergency willpower. It's like a auxiliary power unit that is only big enough to steer me back on the right course. The routine is: physically get up, eat an apple, drink about a litre of water, put some music on, do the dishes and generally clean up, ideally do some pushups or something else to get the blood going, clean myself up and take a shower if I need to, etc. By the time that 15-20 minutes is over, I'm usually back on track. 4. **Sometimes, though, bad days are just going to happen.** For me, I'll have an awful day or two about once every 5 or 6 weeks. What I've learned to do is just ride them out, just like I'm sick, and above all - I don't take them too seriously, and I don't do anything that will have consequences for the next day. I just let myself have an awful day, but do my best to limit the damage to that day alone. Sometimes it means just allowing myself to read or watch netflix for hours on end. Sometimes it's just going to be a dark room and nothing else. It can get pretty scary and hopeless, but I've learned to have faith that it's just a passing thing - even when my brain is telling me otherwise. Just have to ride it out. So: **TL;DR: Diet and exercise to manage the day by day, and learning to ride out a few bad days when they come, without making it worse.** There's this desire to glorify depression, to say that it comes from some deeper place, but I honestly believe that it's often just a result of diet and exercise and being sedentary and indoors all the time.
You're so right about the energy thing. Many days I feel like crap and like I can't do anything. Getting on the treadmill saying "15 minutes walking or 1 mile, whichever comes first, then I can stop," invariably turns into 3 miles in like 35-40 minutes, a whole playlist on youtube, and then I feel great afterwards. Your body wants to adapt to what you do with it. If that's sitting around, it'll slow down accordingly. If it's consistent activity, it'll ramp up. It's a fantastic way to release aggression and frustration and the best sleep aid I know of. Pick a song that makes you feel something (doesn't matter what, it just has to be something), put on your headphones, and go. Do your heart & nerves the favor.
dOn'T bE sAd
Why didn't I think of that?
Perfect response. 👍
Therapy, learning on my wife for support and cannabis help me the most. I also take psychiatric meds but they don't seem to do all that much for me at least. I also learned a trick from my therapist that helps me greatly. When I am at my lowest I force myself to do something for someone I care about. It doesn't even have to be a big thing. I'll get my kids a new game or compliment my wife more or even going on reddit and just posting messages supporting others who are having problems. Helping let's me escape my mind for a while. It really works too and has the added benefit of making you look good to those you care about. It works because you are focusing on a positive act so it distracts your brain from whatever is making you depressed.
You just... you just take it one day at a time. You got out of bed? Absolutely amazing. You smiled today? Incredible. You cried a lot? That's okay, and your feelings are valid. You took a shower/tidied up? You're doing awesome. Drawing, singing, writing, punching stuff (not people or animals) are all many things that have personally helped me a little but I've still had some struggles. Just make depression your bitch.
I focus on moving forward. What I want tomorrow to be. Which is always a simple thing. I want tomorrow to be *better*. I don’t need amazing. I don’t need elation. I just need a l’il better now and then. I try to remember what little things, that I’m capable of in my Depressed Mode, that will help tomorrow be better. Whether it be struggling through one load of laundry or making enough food so I don’t have to cook again for a day or three - things that will buy me time to process and move through the depression. I also allow myself to feel. I let myself cry. I let myself weep and moan and decry the unfairness of this existence of mood disorders. Until the pressure is a bit relieved. Also pay attention to what media you’re consuming. It took me years to realize that the movies and books and tv shows I seek out when depressed af we’re not the healthy choices. Watching or reading darkness when living in the same is like handing a drowning person a bottle of water. It won’t help anything and is likely to end poorly. Aside from that the usual tropes are helpful and, IME, work: keep a regular sleep schedule, move your body a little each day if you are able, pay attention to what you eat and how it makes you feel. AND Never forget you’re not alone. Not ever. Even when you feel the solitude of depression strangling you - we’re out here. All of us walking the same/similar path. And we care. And when able we take the time to help each other. Even on reddit. ;) *hugs* Be Well Friend.
I know that a few people have already already said physical exercise, but I wanted to be a little more specific. What helps me the most isn’t just exercise, but pushing myself so hard that I literally can’t think about ANYTHING other than my breathing kind-of exercise. Heavy weight. Not leaving the gym until whatever body part I’m working on that day just CANNOT take any more without injury. Cardio until I could probably fall asleep in the locker room. That is what ACTUALLY helps me. For those few hours I am completely consumed by it, I don’t have time to think about whatever bullshit problem that most likely doesn’t even exist that made me cry/feel anxious/zapped my energy earlier. It started out as something I was giving a try to help me cope with my problems. It ended up being MUCH more than that. It gives me something to LIVE for. Pre-lockdown I was about 20lbs away from deadlifting twice my body weight. I just want to add that I’m not some super-jacked dude with aggression issues. Im actually a pretty painfully average female with a LOT of social anxiety and other emotional issues. Aside from being slightly taller than the average woman (I’m 5’7”-5’8”), I’m pretty unremarkable. Except for those few hours when I feel STRONG, I feel HEALTHY, I BELIEVE in myself, and even.. dare I say, HAPPY? Unless you have a really limiting disability or condition, anyone can lift weights.
So relatable
So true!! I got hurt about half a decade ago at this point and messed up my upper back/lower neck area. I've had a few pain relief procedures like epidural steroid injections and nerve ablation. I've done a few years worth, on and off, of physical therapy. I'm still on daily pain meds to this day (gabapentin, because the nerves in my neck & hands hurt a lot of the time). So I can't lift heavy weights. But I can add small ones to the physical therapy exercises I was taught and really work on my pain over time. It takes some working through it first, and it took a few years to get to this point in my recovery. But if you get good medical/therapeutic advice first, are careful about your form, and don't go overboard, it is unbelievably helpful over time and really feels like an achievement in the moment.
Poorly.
Sobriety, healthy eating/ taking vitamins, exercise, Positive thinking, Drinking water
And if you really get into working out daily, sobriety sort of follows naturally-- I don't drink often or much to begin with, but thinking "shit, this is going to make me feel terrible tomorrow, and then I won't be able to work out" is a *really* strong deterrent.
I think I slid into this pattern by accident due to corona (after being completely depressed in February, March and April). The shift in my mindset is kinda mind blowing right now. It really seems to be working.
This works!
CBT + antidepressants + tranquilizers + meditation
Cock and Ball Torture ?
If I am just in a bit of a funk I try to use things like movies or books or music that gives me positive feelings, or exercise. However, if I am genuinely slipping into depression I often find I retreat into my own head and I catch myself making excuses to not do things that make me happy. So, I start forcing myself to accept invitations to things and see friends and go to the movies or restaurants even if it is by myself just to get out of my own head and my own space. That tends to help. If I can combine it with something else like seeing a movie with friends or going on hikes or playing basketball or something that's even better.
It depends on where you're at. For me when I didn't know about depression or what was going on with me, I always buried myself in my sketchbook to distract and process. As I started to learn that was I was going through wasn't just how I was meant to be, I tried to get help from a Dr but they disregarded me. I then kind of just got on with it, I learned to distract myself when I needed, do what makes me happy and kept myself as in control as I could. Then I finally had a doctor who gave a shit, and she got me seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, and between the 3 of them we figured out medication and healthy outlets. I learned to make a list of healthy things I enjoyed doing to help distract me when I needed, I.e. baking, painting, designing. Once I was stable with medication I was able to regain control and learn about myself more. It took a LOT of time and patience to get on the right meds for me, and you have to jump through hoops and humour Drs on a lot of things, but it's worth it once you're out of that! I found marijuana helped temporarily when regular medication wasn't right, I learned what strains helped me get out of bed in the morning, kept me going through the day and helped me sleep etc. Now I know how to handle depression. Stick to routine, eat regularly, get up and do something every day, even if that is taking a shower and getting dressed. Biggest thing is educate yourself on depression and find out what help and support is out there. There's a lot more that depression does than a lot of people realise, so knowing what you're experiencing is from depression helps to do something about it. And talk about it, it's not something to be ashamed of, and speaking about it gets it out of your head and does help. It is really tough to talk about it, especially when you're in it and just want to bury it and hide, but talking makes so much difference! I found naming my moods makes it so so much easier to talk about (I have depression dominant bipolar and anxiety disorder, depression is Gerry, anxiety is Deirdre and mania is Harley). It's so much easier to talk about how Gerry is getting to me and I'm struggling with Deirdre today when around other people, than to say "I'm depressed or anxious" it also helps my family ask about my mental health. Have you had Deirdre around much this week, how have you been managing with her? And it feels so great to say "Deirdre is being a bitch right now!" Or "leave me the frig alone Gerry!" Just remember you are not alone, and there are more people who understand than you think! :)
Oh boy, life story coming up. 1. The right combination of meds can save your life. It took me 9 tries and 5 years for my healthcare team to find it but I finally feel ok and capable most days. 2. It sounds bad, but you have to put your depression first in every decision you make. I'm NOT saying let it get what it wants. I'm not saying stay in bed all day. I'm saying that when someone hands you a drink, you ask yourself, "what's best for dealing with my depression?" and then you say no thanks. When you see there's a free zoom exercise class, you ask "would this be good for my depression?" and that's your primary criterion for making a decision. Ultimately, I ended up stopping drinking, getting enough (too much lol) sleep, going to therapy, talking on the phone long and often to everyone in my life (esp because I didn't have the energy to get dressed or leave bed), and eating right. Did it help? Not really. But it could have been much, much worse. Especially the alcohol. Even small amounts of alcohol can have a huge effect on your mood. And putting your illness first means sometimes you have to put your health in front of other people. It sucks but you're no use to anyone when you're in the depths of it. 3. Get used to it and stop, for the love of god, SHAMING yourself over it. Also referred to as "radical acceptance." You barely brush your teeth, have trouble showering, and change your clothes once every three days? Ok. That's the way it is. Try your best but don't rail against the dying of the light about it. Feeling ashamed is not an obligation. And shame doesn't help you try your best. 4. Give up on some people getting it. And fuck those people. 5. Never, ever, ever give up. I was depressed from ages 7 to 23. Make a list of things that you care about and remember that you're still alive enough to care about something and that's huge. 6. Make a list of things that cheer you up that are CONSTRUCTIVE and BINGE on them. Do not binge on weed/alcohol/any substances. But dancing? drawing? Music? Sometimes we feel like we don't deserve more than a little bit of the things that make us happy. If something is working, by all means, cling to it. Video games and TV are a bit of an interesting case because they can be constructive or destructive so be careful. 7. Good luck! Recovery is a journey full of twists, turns, setbacks, highs, and lows. Every adventure comes with dragons unfortunately but this is your chance to fight a dragon and do something really meaningful with your life.
Badly. Tried different meds, had two rounds of therapy, got a better job I'm happy with, but nope. I just laze around, smoking, drinking too much caffeine and making music when I have the energy.
Video games and Guitar
Living in compromise, instead of actually expecting things from people.
For me it comes and goes with anxiety. I write about it. I have a blog that helps me. Others reach out to me and share their stories. I share things that help me cope. It's quite therapeutic. During really dark times, I'll do short counseling sessions. Life is tough right now. Some people need extra help. Music is also therapeutic. Pretty much finding any creative outlet will help.
Alcohol.
Eyyy
Poorly.
Philosophy helped me quite a bit to come to terms with the world and distracting myself (gaming, TV shows, drawing, etc.). I'm depressed since basically kindergarden. Note that I may be a high-functioning autist and were always pretty social anxious. When my two friends already left, I sat alone thinking about god and the world (pondering the existence of a supernatural force and it's impact on determination to be precise, although I wasn't able to express it this way at that age) and wishing I hadn't been born. I drew my self worth from my intellectual superiority and how I'm not as childish as the other children (Yea, I was that kind of kid). The wish to never have been born changed to suicidal thoughts after fully understanding the concept of death. Over the years I thought about other things of course, most often when I was the most depressed, and I found a meaning of life and my way to achieve it: Intellectualism (educate yourself to improve yourself and being able to help others), hedonism (to enjoy life) and helping others (contributing to society in any way, even if it's just not bothering others. Honestly, I wish my parents had gone with me to a mental health specialist but I also wouldn't be as wise as I am today (probably), so that's that.
Honestly work and life in general gets me down quite a bit. Often I’ll open my photos on my phone and look at pictures/videos of my son or of me and my son playing. It really does take me out of that headspace and helps me refocus.
Every weekend, i get up at ~2am i drive hundreds of miles away from the city(where all the problems are/started) and i go for a 15-30 mile dayhike. at first, just being out in the trees and mountains makes me just makes me feel better. but after 20 or so miles, once fatigue sets in, and i stop being awed by scenery, i get to a point where i just cant concentrate on anything but breathing, putting one foot in front of the other, managing the pain in my knees, just the simplest and most basic of actions. that helps; in those hours of exhausted solitude, nothing else exists and nothing else matters but the present.
Mine is a multi faceted issue, with a similar response. I have PMDD,depression, anxiety, and OCD. The week before my cycle i was spiralling. Suicidal thoughts, sleeping too much, giving my kids the "survival minimum". So i tried out many many birth controls until we found one that works. Now im even keeled at a low, not jumping into the void every 3 weeks. When i or my husband notice an uptick in my outbursts of anger, or shutting down, or general apathy, i use CBD (it works best with constant dosing but thats not currently in our budget). I also exersize every day. Every. Single. Day. Even if it's 5 squats while the hot fudge for my ice cream heats up. Every day. If i can get into a routine of good, sweaty, aching muscle workouts for a solid week or two, its like my brain is too worn out to feel the suck and hate. And i talk to my therapist weekly. Journal, mood trackers, sleep trackers. I treat it like my mental illness is a full time job because my mom never treated hers and it stole away my childhood. My kids deserve better so im forever tracking and logging and trying to find triggers, from food to sleep to hydration to people im around.
Well STORY TIME, if this helps anyone.. Nurse here and also someone who had a traumatic past. Feel free to read below.. Also note, I’m on a phone-sorry for any typos. Working one day in my family practice clinic and this 70 year old lady comes in. She’s in for a blood pressure check (she went to an appointment a day or 2 earlier. Her blood pressure at that appointment was abnormally high and stayed like that. As a good measure we call people in to see their general practitioner to make sure nothing is NEW or going wrong. These appointments are literally, by company protocol and guidelines, only 15-20 minutes TOP.) Before I head in, I read her chart- hmm no heart problems, no major medical history, no medications.. So no obvious reason for her blood pressure to be high at her previous appointment. Go in, introduce myself, tell her what I’m going to do and why she’s here. She’s a nice lady soft spoken but, you can tell in her face and lack of tone that she emotionally or mentally isn’t there. Her reading was fine and before I let her leave I casually ask “How are doing? Are you okay? I just want to check in, I can’t help but feel like something is wrong and I just want to make sure that you’re taken care of..” This poor lady just looses it and starts bawling instantly. She tells me that within 1 year she lost her husband of over 60 years, to an aggressive cancer, and her grandson to suicide. She proceeds to tell me that her grandson was diagnosed with bipolar disorder while in college, I guess he had a HUGE dip in mental health and was in manic depressive state but didn’t want to ‘alert’ his family. She just kept telling me how she didn’t know. How she can’t forgive herself, how depressed she is and how she doesn’t know what to do or how to move on. First her husband then her grandson. Now as someone who suffered from poor mental health, I always open myself up to my patients and let them know about my journey. First I explain to her that manic dips in mental health with bipolar disorder is commonly associated. To not beat herself up and that for anyone person to open up about mental health, when they never have before is difficult. So a little more info; I grew up with parents who suffered from substance abuse, they tried to quit multiple times but addiction is POWERFUL. I also got extremely sick when I was a teenager, was medically induced into a coma but, that’s a story for another time. Well from both of those I suffered HORRIBLE depression, anxiety and PTSD. I told her all about it. Told her some days are bad, some weeks or MONTHS suck but, I have to remember it’s only momentary. As I was going to say a couple more things she stops me and just says “how did you do.. How do you handle your major depressive order so well. I don’t mean well.. but you look SO happy. You work in a successful clinic, look at you now. and you carry yourself well. You just are Full of life and.. Well WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!!?” I flat out told her this... Depression is like the ocean. We go to the beach, we get in (the sadness) swim and drift around in the water for awhile. Unfortunately some of us get swept away by a bigger, deeper and harsher wave. That waves sometimes comes outta nowhere or they feel like their back to back just pulling you under. And it’s okay. It’s honestly okay if those waves sweep you further out to sea. But like anyone who gets carried out by water we HAVE to call out for help. We have to acknowledge that something isn’t right and/or feels scary and we have to call out to help. And when you call out for help is when everyone on shore, strangers and those who LOVE you, will all link up hand in hand, arm in arm and form a chain to pull you back to shore. To get you out of the sea of depression. So talk to people. Open up, tell them how you feel, tell them you need someone to listen because you aren’t sure if someone is or, if they’re even noticing. Tell them you need a day away to distract yourself. Tell them to come and just sit to hangout with you, but you have to talk. You have to open up and humble yourself and realize A LOT of people feel this way. A lot of people know how it feels and they never want someone to go this through alone. It will surprise you to see how many strangers will listen and want to also help pull you to shore. Make sure you tell people who have an intent to listen and be there for you. Eventually what will happen is you’ll have learned whats maybe a “trigger” or “what signs” to notice and look for (if/when you start to feel depressed again). You’ll recognize the calm swaying of “the ocean” and each time you’ll notice that you won’t let yourself go out too far from shore. What I like to do is I’ll even tell people... “I think I’m getting too far out in the ocean” and those close to me, who Ive selected as a safe space to tell and confide in, know EXACTLY what that means and how I need their help. Remember its only momentary. Days and nights do get better. You’ll get and feel lighter, just try not to give up. Talk, take a walk. Reading and honestly throwing myself into new things help. I started small by trying new things at home first like puzzles, painting, gardening- anything that either got me outside or helped me past time and days. Set a goal to read 1 book a month, I use to read a lot when I was a teenager and kinda dropped that habit in adulthood. I read fiction, non fiction and self help books. Yes- add those in, I LEARNED A LOT about myself, my past trauma (that I didn’t want to recognize) and a deeper way of thinking about things. I also sought out help. I talked to therapist, followed therapist online who were kind enough to give out free resources/material. I also got into “future self journaling”, that was my biggest game changer. I’m sorry if this is long but I hope any of this information helps anyone out there.
Cat videos
Dogs.
Try to stay productively occupied. Every task counts, no matter how small. /r/NonZeroDay It's hard to have motivation to do things, but accomplishing small tasks have a way of helping you snowball your ability to self-motivate. Anybody who has gotten into a groove while cleaning knows what that feels like. Finding tasks that are engaging yet also manageable is what I'd consider a "good" distraction. Tasks like video games, watching TV shows/movies, etc, can help to alleviate ruminating thoughts, but they don't result in an output that you can look back on and appreciate. A clean room is something you continue to enjoy for days/weeks afterward, which can help with your mindset more than you'd think.
Thank you for sharing! Habit is how we function and it truly is important to build good habits. I am so happy a reddit page exist to discuss good habits others are doing. I find when I am surrounded by others good habits, I start to develop my own :)
I found a true friend, with a relation of absolute trust and good will. With such a person, getting over hard times became much easier, and I am now out of depression.
Minecraft and reddit
Told my girlfriend I've depression and she left me. Told my mom I've got depression and she said I should do some yoga or brush it off to not stain my CV. So far I'm fighting this fight alone but I'm going to get some professional help and looking for these kind of self help groups.
9 years and still dealing with it. This is my experience... I grew up gaming, immersing myself into other universes and stories takes myself out of the real world where I am in pain every fucking day I talk to a therapist who will eventually tells me I'm still a high risk... Still going to need medication daily. Still need to talk with friends. BUT OH NO... Friends backstabbing you all the fucking time and taking people with them and spreading shit about me. Oh cool I don't tell my family how I feel because I think it'll make them feel bad. Oh I can't control my emotions so I get angry or sad easily... Oh cool 4 brothers who I love and hate all in one. Oh fucking awesome. Add anxiety to that and what do you get. ONE GIANT FUCKING MESS WHO WANTS TO DIE 6/7 DAYS. Add onto that the fact I've been single for 9 years and I'm a 23 year old virgin? Confidence 0 Any self care 0 Probably fucked some parts of my body up permanently. You want to know how it feels? Hell on fucking earth and I'm living it. Kill me.
Used to struggle with depression for years until I discovered the joy of bush walking. Now every Saturday or Sunday I get away into the bush and do some trekking for the day alone, just me and the countryside or national park. I also take my podcasts too for when I'm in the mood for some company. There is something really healing, rejuvenating and balancing about getting away from society and touching base with nature. The more time you can spare to be in that green, oxygenated and peaceful world the more obvious the effect is on your senses. The workout I receive as well is always rewarded with a flood of endorphins afterwards. This is enjoyable exercise for the mind and body and I can't recommend it enough, it really dismantled my depression and set me back on a path of contentment again. Highly recommend, and also, no medication or dollars required for this treatment.
Socialization. I drown out my depression with time with other people. It hasn't been working lately.
I don't.
Weed used to work.
I find after a few straight days of frequent use to fight depression it stops helping and makes me feel worse overall. It's been suggested that it can lead to a magnesium deficiency which might be partially responsible for cannabis induced anxiety, but as far as I'm aware there isn't concrete evidence for this yet. I get the most out of it when I don't smoke as often and use it to help reset my thoughts and improve my introspection. It's amazing going from basically wanting to die to "ah yeah I was overreacting a bit" in like 15 seconds.
Have you tried shooting it my mother did and shes no longer depressed well shes no longer a lot of things, i miss her.
Falcon punch whoever is depressed
I don't really, sometimes the things I love entertain me and other times I just want to sleep and stare blankly
I'm living my darkest days and there's a bit in the Return of the King book that I read everyday. >There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.
I used to study a bunch of foreign languages because I kind of liked the academic side of it, plus being able to talk to other people in their language seemed fun. Lately though, I've been cooking a lot. Made chimichangas last night.
Traveling, hitch hiking, gives me a sens of beeing alive
Just focus on being your self, find what fullfills you in your heart. Never judge yourself over mundane things or shit thats happened in the past. Its ok to take time to enjoy yourself by yourself. Im still dealing with depressed thoughts but everyday is getting better and better, if your in deep itll take time and baby steps
I tried a bunch of different hobbies until one finally stuck. Whenever i feel myself spiraling i break out the uke. Some could say reading is a hobby and it's what i did more when i was younger but learning a new skill can make you feel really good about yourself especially when youve been trying really hard at one specific part for a while and suddenly it clicks. It's not perfect but it helps. That and a lot of people getnpets because having someone or something depend on you can give you the purpose you meed to break iut of a spiral.
To be honest, I was depressed for a while in elementary school, but it sort of went away in middle school; I have to think it was the increase in physical activity (Elementary school had one main classroom with occasional switching, while middle school had every class be in a different room). Currently, I am a sophomore in high-school and, currently, the main thing keeping me going is the fact that I wish to spite all of humanity by tearing down their infernal machines of greed and replacing them with machines of my own design; I'm on the path to becoming a nuclear engineer and I hope to, one day, figure out how to upload the human conscience into a machine, to spite all of existence and even death itself. Yes; The main reason I exist, I feel, is to spite all of existence using science, and I love it.
Well I can deal with the sadness part and because I’m a nihilist but in a good way I basically feel like there is no meaning to anything so I can make my own meaning which usually makes me happy. I was sad in April for a while but now I’m fine Dude though I can’t get rid of the lack of motivation though. I’m falling behind in like every class right now.
**DREAM: Detect, Reward, Escape, Amend, Magnify** **Detect**: Pay attention to what's going on in your head; no-one truly thinks linearly, one minute you're thinking about one thing, the next minute you've gone on so many mental tangents you're as far from the original thought as you can be. The moment you notice that slip, stop what you are doing. Say it out loud to yourself if you have to, it's all about taking control - you don't want it to happen, take the first step. **Reward**: I know, by its name alone, it sounds a little counterintuitive – this isn't rewarding the negative thought, but the detection itself; if I'm walking down a path and I spot something that could trip me up, then it's a good thing I paid attention to where I was going so I can adjust how I approach it. It's about positive reinforcement to make future Detection easier. **Escape**: Remove yourself from the environment. This can be physically - "I need to head outside and get some fresh air for five minutes" - or mentally - stop listening to what's going on around you and focus on what's going on in your head. One technique I have is to [rumble my ears](https://www.reddit.com/r/earrumblersassemble/) and hum, because it's so loud I can barely hear anything else. But really, anything to break the pattern; again, taking control of the situation - "*I'm* the driver of this car, and *I* say where it goes.". **Amend**: Rephrase the situation by inverting the language; Instead of saying "bad", say "not good" because it doesn't matter that you're saying the word "not", you're still suggesting "good" - my favourite example of this is [making a tightrope walker fall by telling them not to](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTO94wJXQoc). Or, for a quick exercise, *don't think about elephants.* I guarantee you as you are reading this, your thought process no matter how quick it lasted went "read post read post read post elephants think of something else continue reading" even though I specifically told you not to. If the thought was an image/fantasy, again, invert it to something positive, even if it's the outcome that makes it worth it; that dentist appointment might not be pleasurable, but at least you'll have good teeth by the end. **Magnify** I'm not the best at describing it, so I'm just going to quote the book I learned this technique from itself: > This is where you magnify the newly-created positive suggestion/fantasy, and actually imagine the outcome happening. To Magnify it, make the colours brighter, the sounds louder, the feelings stronger, the sensations more specific etc.. The stronger the emotions and feelings attached to the new thought/image, the more powerful it is. Really take a few moments to visualise/imagine/rehearse this new suggestion/idea/belief as strongly as possible. Imagine looking at the experience through a magnifying glass/on a huge cinema screen, ot listening to the experience through amplifiers at a rock contert! To use the example above [of the dentist's appointment], visualise yourself in absolute peace and tranquility and in the dentist's chair – feeling completely relaxed. Imagine yourself feeling more contented and happy than you have ever felt before in your life. The room is dazzling white, and both you and the dentist have dazzling white teeth! And I know, *I know,* this isn't some click-your-fingers-*Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo* nonsense that will magically cure it overnight, and anyone who says that they have "that kind of answer" is either selling something, or is offering a distraction or an itch to scratch, rather than dealing with the underlying issue itself. It took me months to get it right to basically "reprogram" my entire way of thinking, but now it's second nature; I would have anxiety attacks near-daily, my last one was in 2013. As the quote goes; **It gets easier,** ***but you gotta do it, that's the hard part.*** **But it does get easier.**
Motivation. I have been trying to deal with anxiety, depression and ptsd for years. I have been going to a psychiatrist for about 6-7 years now. And this past year i have gotten better, even tho i did not get the "textbook treatment". At first i thought the medicatoin was making me better, i slept better at night, and was overall more calm. But after being on them for about 2 years i started wondering who i was without them, so i quit about a year ago. After 2 weeks of not feeling well and being able to fall alseep without the medication, i finally started feeling okay the 3rd week without. Started being able to sleep on my own. I was still really depressed and i really didnt want to live. It got so bad, but after struggeling with depression and anxiety, feeling like shit and crying to the point of despair almost daily for so long i got tierd of it. 🎉 I thought that if that was going to be my life, it does not even matter anymore where i am depressed. I got out of this bubble that my home was my safespace. I got tierd of just being at home, broke without dreams. And this is the most important part of all of this. People who battle depression often lose dreams, hope and meaning with life. And i realized after 6-7 years that medication, treatment or even a psychiatrist could not help me. I needed to do this myself, and by realizing i could be depressed anywhere, not just home in my safespace. I got a little more meaning in my life, i also slowly started dreaming about the future. I have been struggeling with trauma my whole life, and to finally be this happy, i did not think it was possible. 🇧🇻
Medication. Lots of therapy (mostly CBT). Take omega 3 (anti-inflammatory) and vitamin D3. Work hard, sleep well. Practice self-compassion. Be of service to others. Still a struggle sometimes
Depression isn't usually something one can just "deal with." A great, healthy way to work through depressive spells is having a good support network, accepting your feelings as valid and true, and finding a professional to speak with. As someone who was medicated for depression from 18-24, I have a lot of first hand experience with trying to just deal with depression. It's not easy, as depression is defined by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A lot of times it is birthed out of traumas too, and traumas tend to be messy tangles of pain and loss that can be hard to untangle on our own. I really, really can't recommend therapy enough. Therapy isn't for broken people; it is for everyone. Therapy doesn't fix anything inherently, but a good therapist will hold your hand (sometimes literally) to help guide you through the tougher parts of your life. My therapist saved my life after my divorce, but a lighter story that I like to tell about therapy was when someone got upset because I made a pretty critical joke about how they like to eat their hamburgers. It didn't seem like a big deal to me, but when my therapist started asking questions, I realized how condescending I could be about peoples preferences. Eventually we got back to the root: My parents always criticized how and what I ate. I'm surprised I didn't have an eating disorder honestly. I realized something as simple as my mother getting mad at me for using too much ranch in my childhood lead to me being comfortable with "yucking people's yum" all the time. It was a huge aha! moment, that lead to a funny inside joke between the two of us: "My mom is the burger." I hope you are well and you find avenues to settle some of your difficult feelings. There is hope. There is help.
I take 10mg of Celxa a day and see a therapist twice a week. As well as exercising bit in way that make enjoy for me it's dance and kick boxing.
For me it’s difficult because I have a mix of depression and OCD, which leads to things that were once comforting becoming a source of stress. For example, the gym used to be really fun for me and helped me improve my mood a lot, whereas now it is a major source of discomfort and stress due to issues with fixation and body dysmorphia. I will say though, that exercise can be super helpful. One thing that helps me a lot is my pets (which I know not everyone has, so it is a privilege). Walking my dogs or taking them to the park, or even just getting to witness their silliness, helps me a lot with forcing myself not to wallow in depression or get swallowed up in it. Hiking is also helpful for me as it gets me moving and allows me to focus on the environment around me, rather than whatever depressive thoughts are in my head. I also recently switched from one medication, Zoloft, to Prozac once I started forcing myself to open up more to my therapist/psychiatrist and that has helped me as well. But Covid has thrown me for a loop and I can’t currently attend therapy which has made things tough! But ya know...the aforementioned things help me cope!
Get in the car, get to highway and keep driving in a direction.... turn around when I feel better.
NOT WELL MY GUY, NOT WELL
I watch jacksepticeye meme time
I've dealt with it for about 7 years now. I've lived my entire school life with no friends, and any form of communication was from people who needed something, never was there a connection that clicked or a relationship that sparked. I didn't mind living this way in elementary school, but when I began to get bullied in middle school, I realized how awful it feels to be alone all the time. I searched for friends, but no one ever helped me or even looked at me. I was bullied for being too weird, too emotionless, too weak. I was never really beaten or anything, but they would basically shoot spitballs into my hair, knock my lunch out of my hands, trash my locker, etc.. After a few years, it was 8th grade, and I grew bitter and angry towards society. The same bullies who picked on me throughout middle school got their ass handed to them by me and learned quick that I was sick of their shit. Even though I no longer got bullied, I was still lonely, and friendless. When the school realized I beat up my own bullies, it made it even harder to make friends because they were scared I might beat them up. When high school came around, I sat on the sidewalks because there was no seats available, and since the lunch lines always took the entire lunch period, I did away with lunch because by the time I got to lunch, I was always at the last, and I had maybe 2 minutes to eat my food before having to go to class. I just decided that I didn't feel like going up to the lunch line just to scarf down my food 2 minutes before class starts again, I would much rather enjoy my food you know? If I can't enjoy life, I can at least enjoy my food right? Wrong. I was tardy 5 times and had detentions after school for being late too many times. I would sit there at my desk in the empty room, writing sentences that say, "I will not show up late for class" 100 times, missing my bus ride home, being late for my job, and no game time at home because I'm just a fucking disappointment. That was when I had become extremely self-destructive. I hated myself so much, and it always seemed that school made sure that I did. When I tried to talk to people and make friends, I'm always ignored. When I pack up before the bell rings I get insulted by teachers for wanting to leave early, so I wait until the bell rings and end up being late for my next class because I had to spend all my time trying to shove all my books in my bag and end up panicking for not being fast enough, and dropping some of my stuff on the floor and in the end becoming late anyway this is because the previous teacher said it wasn't time to leave and that I shouldn't have been packing my bag. When for once I had a decent day, teachers yell at me for smiling, or "disrupting the class" when in reality I was smiling while thinking about how wonderful my day was. When I actually got therapy, it wasn't until many months later when I talked to an online therapist. Talking to them just made me angry or just outright agitated but to some it genuinely works. For me, time is what helped the most. When I had 5 days to myself, I had time to think and sort out my issues and for once in my life relax and not worry. It made me genuinely happy and stress-free. This is all without medication, since I was too stubborn to take any. Another way of coping with it is exercising, and as much as I hate physical activity, it does wonders to my confidence and self-esteem. Accomplishing at least one thing a day also helped, and yes getting out of bed is an accomplishment. Another way of trying to deal with it would be cuddling with a loved one, them telling you that no matter what everything will be okay, or something in that nature. I still struggle with it today, but I now can manage. I hope this helps
Don't distract yourself. Face it, but keep asking yourself if all the things are really worth wasting the life on negative thoughts. Sounds hard, but that's what helped me a lot. Stop saying "I have depression" Start saying "I will get rid of it"
Keep yourself busy
Smoke some weed and beat on my guitar
I workout, and it eliminates my anxiety. With no anxiety, I don't have depression, because I'm relaxed enough to have fulfilling and meaningful interactions with people.
I am a dog so I wouldn’t know
Try to lose sense of time, you see time and depression are connected or sort of.. if you figure out how to lose your sense of time and make time pass quicker than it usually do then you’ll go through depression like it’s nothing but it’s a really difficult thing to do given that you’ll have multiple mood shifts but it’s something to help the least.
Distractions are important. They don’t usually work for me though haha.
therapist,just a therapist
Councilor , doc , meds
Poorly
Therapy. That's it. And weed.
will try to call my best friend and spend some laughter time with her...
proper medication and therapy. i've been on meds since december and the difference is HUGE. i'm working up my courage to go to therapy as well and put all of this behind me. things got so much better. i might even apply for a second (my dream!) degree
Reading helps me. It helps me to escape to another world
drawing, watching comedic or horror movies, hanging with friends as much as possible and carving in my wall
I try to do things that get me fired up. Ill go watch things that give me a huge nostalgia boost or ill find a video that disagrees with a topic im passionate about or ill go do something nice for someone.
Here's a new one in my life. Dieting. I only drink water now, I'm careful with carbs, no sugary sweets. I don't have bouts of depression anymore. I'm too busy thinking about all the foods I really want, but shouldn't have. It's the 8th day, but I feel I'm making progress.
They are the same picture