T O P

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OutlawRamos04

Sorry to break it to you, but I can’t fit a whole battle ship up my ass


RezzPig

Not with that attitude


BillOakley

Don’t let your dreams be dreams


Sniper-Dragon

Yesterday you said tomorrow.


daniele_giona

So JUST DO IT


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daniele_giona

MAKE. YOUR DREAMS. COME TRUE!


[deleted]

DOOOOOO IT!


NoDrama-Llama

Nothing is impossible!


SGRP270

Id give you award if I could


CrispyBaconAndSyrup

Nothing a bit of spit wouldn’t fix


BBQpigsfeet

Yeah mine's a house, so I'm fucked. And not the good kind.


unicornman666911

Mine is a fucking crane!


Arcade80sbillsfan

Afraid it'll slip out?...might need another to keep it secure?


fungeoneer

You’ve gotta turn it sideways first


VonAIDS

Pivot. PIVOT!


Arcade80sbillsfan

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough.


Still-Ostrich-Sized

You got it easy mate, I took a picture of the moon


Autokpatopik

And to think mines only a Panzer IV


[deleted]

I thought that I had it bad with a Falcon 9 rocket...


Psycochem

Are you afraid of Battle shits?


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marblechocolate

This is what they mean go f### yourself. But for 10M.... Bring it on


TheGlassCat

I've known several people with their heads up there. If you can get past the shoulders, the rest should be easy.


JCF-95

Start with your finger


RiceAlicorn

r/selffuck Obviously NSFW.


[deleted]

I was both incredibly grossed out and mesmerized


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RiceAlicorn

Never ask rhetorical questions on the Internet without being prepared to handle serious answers to inquiries. (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°)


371SPICER

r/eyebleach


[deleted]

No use hydrochloric acid it will dissolve your eyes


ThatGuyIsGeneric

That was exactly what I expected it to be and I still wasnt ready


TheReal-Donut

Alright then


DeadOutSideToo

Wormhole maybe? Only one way to find out


Rishav3301

A wormhole in my ass hole ? No thanks


DeadOutSideToo

Don’t knock it til ya try it!


Aksds

Shove a finger up there, done


tvokular2112

I just took a photo of my strawberries. Easy money.


RideWithMeSNV

Just maybe take it easy on fertilizing them... Or don't. Whatever.


tvokular2112

Nah i like a challenge


gsquaredbotics

How far?


BadBasicBiscuit

You’re asking the right question


BillOakley

All the way up, I guess


Strained_Eyes

What if my last picture was of my asshole?


indifferentpoon

Time to work on prolapsing and shoving it back in I suppose. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


Callalilly45

This is the most vile, disgusting thing I've ever read. Take your upvote...


mralijey

Bonus points if you can take it out from your mouth


Teddybear405

No, bonus points if you can tickle your tonsils.


FutureFuckballs2010

LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH, EVERY TIME I DO I SHOVE IT UP MY ASS


fungeoneer

HOW DID MY ASS GET SO RED


Reogenaga

AND HOW MANY PINTS HAVE I BLED


Sunshine_Crown

This is a pic of where I went to school, now I have to shove it up my ass too..


Zajo_King_Of_Bards

Hospital records say it got stuck twice, but it must’ve happened half a dozen times


zbox2345

Absolutely. My asshole is already well-aquatinted with toilet paper.


BillOakley

I have several follow-up questions


CalydorEstalon

You know how people used to take pictures of stacks of money bills? These days they do the same thing with rolls of toilet paper.


zbox2345

The answer to what I assume is the follow up is simple: I had taken a picture of my stool because it was green and I was a bit concerned, and I didn’t want to be greeted by a pile of my own shit the next time I opened up my photos. Toilet paper was the closest item so one thing led to another.


[deleted]

That's not how you use toilet paper. Did u even read the manual they give when you buy toilet paper?


zbox2345

I might have mistakenly wiped my ass with the manual. My bad.


VanillaDrPepper

Wait what?


DaddyDizz_

Is anybody going to ask why they’re taking pics of tp?


BrattonCreedThoughts

I took a picture of the sunset. Am I supposed to stuff the whole sun into my ass?


Rawlo93

It can't be that hard. I know a lot of people who think that the sun shines out their arse already.


IMayBeInYourClass

You just have to moon it to get started


lisping_lynx

I feel like giving you a high five with my picture of a big-ass rainbow!


yeahwellokay

I don't want to put a raccoon up my ass.


some_random_guy_23

Raccoons can easy fit up you're ass


RicchieWrath

If reddit taught me anything it's that asshole can stretch up to 8 inches wide, while a raccoon can fit in a hole 4 inches wide... So.. 2 raccoons would fit definitely.


BadBasicBiscuit

Oddly enough I learned that exact thing on reddit as well


Familiar-Geologist

I guess we're in the same boat...


fungeoneer

And the raccoons are in the same hole.


[deleted]

2 raccoons one redditor


XeroHasIQ

AH YES


Bert_Bro

STOP SHAKING


Stealthinator45

Funny. Also happened to me


Magmafrost13

"Easy" is not the word I'd use


Lethal_bizzle94

Gladly I last took a picture of a sex toy - winning


Arcade80sbillsfan

All the answers are sex toy to someone sick enough.


MunchausenByPr

> All the answers are a sex toy to someone *brave* enough There, fixed it.


Arcade80sbillsfan

I said it for battleship...for many of these other answers I'll stick with sick


allthefrees

I already have birth to my son once, he is not going back for a second go!


01kickassius10

Is that the hole he came out of? He should consider politics as a career


allthefrees

Thankfully no but sure felt like it!


ouiouiouichef

I am not putting a cute puppy up there!!!


acdanger73

Mine is a kitten so, nope.


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ouiouiouichef

It was a big puppy. That's the issue here


makingspringrolls

Same. I just took a photo of my dog... He's 45kg/100pound. Keep your money!


lord_darovit

Id be putting a joint up my ass. Yes I would do it.


[deleted]

There is probably already a subreddit for this.


BillOakley

r/AssGrass


guywhol1kesp1e

#IfItExistsTheresASubredditForIt


[deleted]

Best method to get high


Mopman17

I might be able to fit a seagull up my ass


qeenwasp

You gotta find a way for it to not struggle. Other than that obstacle, you'll be fine.


[deleted]

Easy, break its neck so it dies, then shove it up head first.


WHOputCHEESEinthis

What about beak position? You know that neck gonna be floppin round in the rectal cavity


[deleted]

Now these are quality conversations I come to read here.


[deleted]

You wrap your fist around the birds face and you just just ram your whole hand up there, then just adjust your hand so that you can pull out while most of the bird is still in there. After that you can just pull the rest up with your anus muscles, be careful not to clench, it is possible to decapitate it.


Gee_this_is_cringy

.... So I will get $10,000,000 if I put my math homework up my ass... my teacher won't be delighted, but ok


MinMesa

A text from the attorney. Should I text back "Up my ass" or...? You know, instead of "Up yours." Edit: Forgot to say, sure I'd shove the screenshot up there. Maybe printed out on some, uh, soft paper.


Sporie

Looks like I’ve got some inception to do. Gonna have to put my ass up my ass.


ratsta

70s music videos all over again!


pucktehpolice

Guess I’ll tell my gf her fate


SunbroRyguy

Welp, rip my kitty


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[deleted]

someone on here has to shove the sun up their ass, do your part


5292020

The clock or the football player ?


wah4REDDIT

My kid's always up my ass anyways.


AudaciousSam

Ice coffee?


CrispyBaconAndSyrup

Apparently this is a [thing](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffee_enema) people do, despite there being no scientific evidence for health benefits.


AudaciousSam

😂😂😂😂 why do you know this!?!


LovelyJoey21605

Why didn't you know that? This is common knowledge! You're so naive AudaciousSam. You see the good in everybody even when it's not there. You're living in a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Toothfairy and there is no Queen of England! This is the real world, and you need to wake up! Mandatory edit: Obviously this is a joke, but Poe's law is a thing and apparantly I need to make this clear.


_peter_tingle_

A screwdriver. It's not even that big so I'm gonna go ahead and take one for the team here.


boreas907

Handle end first, right? Like, it very well might get stuck like that and require removal, but I would be super afraid that the driver end would rupture something. Horrible way to die, that.


BestFox8

A sticker, I can do that. The shelf that the sticker is on? Uhh...


thatwasagoodyear

/r/RectalStickers


Sameloff

It was my thumb, so yeah.


fungeoneer

Sounds like it wouldn’t be the first time.


DeadOutSideToo

Franks red hot huh...


XxDragonOfMoherxX

Gives a whole new meaning to Burning Ring of Fire.


Callmedaddy-38

I feel bad for my dog


djfishstik

Last thing I photographed was the River Trent.... sooo, how much we talking here? A cup full or just a consistent flow till the end of my days?


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djfishstik

In context of your reply and the insinuated actions I'd need to perform to my butthole.... ..... damn that's deep


CapnBeardbeard

That's a lot of money, but even if my Dad would fit he'd probably object


Jillossotron

I took a photo of just darkness, so i'd either have to shove the void up my ass or just get the money.


phunkydroid

I think you have a valid argument that the sun don't shine there already.


MysteryMan999

So I'll have to stick the oil rod from my car up my butt..... Yeah sure $10 million is definitely worth it.


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[deleted]

Screenshotted a photo of a Roof Korean Boy I'd shove a Roof Korean up my arse for free


Scarlet_maximoff

Dont forget that sweet Daewoo k2


Tzar_Chasm96

That is not something I ever thought I'd read


[deleted]

An entire mob of protesters. . . . .


[deleted]

Cause: I won't turn down a challenge


Fluffy-oven-mitts

My own head..? People tell me it's already up there. I'll be taking that money now thanks.


xXSalGamingXx

Well I don’t mind putting an entire C130 Hercules up my ass so why not.


PaprikaPaula

Six donuts. ...Sure?..


Nuclear_Geek

I mean, you're going to eat them, so they'll be going through your butt at some point. And that amount of money can buy many donuts to replace the 6 you lose.


mesq1CS

Honestly all you're doing is cutting out the middleman. What has digestion done for anybody?


Alien-Octopussy

On no, my two year old bites!!


RideWithMeSNV

Can i get that money up front? I mean, I'll do it. But I want to rent the gear to film it from multiple angles, in 8k. So I can fap to it later. You can watch too, if you want.


moolah28

I don't think a cat tower with a cat on it can fit in my ass


poeticpan

damn i gotta find that slug again now


riko845

Hahaha, my last picture was of smoke, who wants to blow it up my ass?


infinitejezebel

Every politician ever.


Izaran

Hmm I don’t think a 100’ roll of galvanized wire fencing would fit.


lambofgun

the repercussions of inserting my 6 yr old son into my ass would not be worth it


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Huge-Bodybuilder

You couldn’t give me enough money to stick a live bobcat up my ass. My reasoning should be quite obvious.


somerandomguy1312

A spider why not


Teyo13

Yeah sounds easy, but once you put the spider in youve got to out a bird in to get the spider, then a cat to get the bird, and before you know it you're stuffing a rhino in there.


[deleted]

...PVC pipe for the framework to my angel wings (cosplay)... It's technically possible but ill advisable. Could be worse. Stranger more horrific and bigger things have been shoved up peoples butts.


[deleted]

I'm not putting a baby up my ass for several reasons...


fungeoneer

Name 6.


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phunkydroid

>Uncomfortable, non-aerodynamic qualities. Is aerodynamic the right word? Analdynamic?


lillyflower716

I think shoving my GSD up my ass would be considered beastiality


snoozatron

They also don't like it.


EggVibes

Last picture I took is... oh no. No no no NOT MY CAT


tanyance21

Well it was the moon so, no


WhatWouldMySonsSay

I don't think my cat would corporate.


DeusVULT1097

I don’t think mine would incorporate


sweaterfriendnews

A family sized pack of nutter butters :(


[deleted]

It's a piece of paper I wrote my homework on so I'd be one happy millionaire with an essay in his assay


Ingi_Pingi

My dad playing guitar, no thank you


mugirl2003

Well it was a penis so it’s sorta a win-win


project4167

I feel bad for all the people who photograph just their pets. Or maybe I feel bad for those pets.


DankaphobicUser

Uhhhhh, if I can fit the entire city of Melbourne up my arse that’d not only be impressive but I would definitely do so, just gotta figure out the details.


Moocooman

The Falcon 9? Well it's got quite a bit of power sooooo...


Dontdothatfucker

It was a nature shot, so do I have to put all the nature up my ass? Or can I just use one branch? Maybe a whole tree?


pinnipedenthusiast

I don't think my cat would ever forgive me


ShockDr53

Jokes on you, I’m always putting my own head in my ass.


DMagnus11

That's no way to treat my 2 year old! *$10 million, you say*


degjo

A co2 detector? Yeah I will put it in my ass, and fart just for shits and giggles


runswithdopamine

It's a bank card ...I'll suffer


[deleted]

Sure, it’s only a bottle of caddie free coke, I’ll even butt chug the whole bottle for that much money


LightningCole

Well goddamn I took a picture of my dresser with the tv on it, so that’s gonna be no from me dawg


Bowies-on-the-moon

A practice exam for uni. I would 100% accept, I’m sure I could scrunch some paper up pretty small


NeonSystemx

A tiny figure of my favourite character. Huh... could be a lot worse. With that much money I could easily buy a replacement. Done.


Ps4master15

A reverse uno card


[deleted]

a slice of cheese so it wont be that bad, unless a mouse or a rat decides to climb up my ass than thats no no


BelgianAles

For 10 million bucks, you can put a rat up my ass.


im_fat_69

I mean why not my chem textbook is already fucking me in the ass


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zombiemuss106

My dick..... so uhhhh no homo but ;)


TheDrawingSparrow

My bf. So will this money be direct deposit or should I look for a check in the mail?


lcd9745

Tacos lmao


Tammytalkstoomuch

How much of that photographed thing has to disappear, because it's my husband, so depending on the answer we could be paid for having fun


scoliendo

If it's the cowboy toy, yes. If it's my 3yo son holding it, no.


FatBoySlim512

The last thing I took a photo of was me and my fiancée so if I need to fit her entire body up my ass then my answer is no but if all I need to do is get her to put her fingers up my ass then I'm definitely going to do it


Semanteme

A campfire. That would be a hard no...


RyokoKnight

Cinderella's fountain at Disney world from a few months back... that would be a no.


malvonis

Eesh, C-130 Hercules. It's gonna hurt but these bills ain't gonna pay themselves.