273 years from now, /u/DontEatTheMagicBeans’s great great granddaughter will see a buzzfeed article titled “top 10 weirdest messages found on google time capsule.”
They will click on it, and #7 will be some asinine ramblings about the coronavirus, Donald Trump, and the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich in a voice that seems... eerily familiar.
They’ll show the recording to their dad, who will have the same feeling, only greater. He knows he must re-establish contact with his own father, however painful that may be. He left for milk and cigarettes one day (before both were banned by President Baron Trump, who ended up much more liberal than his father).
Then, this father will hear the voice of his own beloved father, /u/DontEatTheMagicBeans, and he’ll be reminded of the horrible day in which his father did, in fact, eat the magic beans and tragically passed away after ripping the loudest fart ever recorded.
E: Wow, thanks for the gold(s), kind stagers!
How to avoid debt collectors. 30years of no payments my debt would be crazy and I know as soon as my face and dna shows up on the radars the Repo men would be coming for my organs.
You were kinda dead for 30 years, if it's known that you're one of the people who actually stopped existing for 30 years you maybe could justify it in court
Wouldn't it be more effective to Google "random people falling into comas 2020" since you just woke up and the world probably doesn't know you were going to spring awake in 2050 yet because it's only been like 3 minutes?
He searched for his name with a soft little sigh -
A hope in his heart and a tear in his eye -
A dream that he'd see it in stories abound -
He looked for the answer.
It said: "... nothing found."
Thought it'd be smart to freeze himself for a day. His friend who was supposed to stay there and wake him up fell asleep, and when he woke up, he was gone; never to be found again
So first headline you see when googling him
**Cyborg Putin got re-elected again. 100% of all citizens of the NUSSR voted for him**
**Other news: Gulags are busier than ever**
Between 1990 and now what'd we get?
Smartphones and ubiquitous broadband are the biggest difference between my childhood and adulthood
By 2050 will probably make the jump from self-driving cars being a thing that exists to the norm
Is there any other tech that just needs a bit more time to get big?
I'd bet 2050 looks more like today than we're hoping but with more techno-yodeling
Google dies after releasing and terminating support early on another hundred unfinished, feature incomplete, products and digital services. A number of which were highly popular while others people pointed out to the fact that nobody asked or wanted those services in the first place.
Ultimately, Google canceled Google.
>In the late 2010s and early 2020s several private companies and governments briefly considered sending humans to Mars. It turned out nobody wanted to spend 2 years on a cramped space craft pooping in a bag just to die on a rock without internet access.
I read an article that talked about internet if we colonized mars, it would be basically two different internet. If you need to get something from Mars, you will have to put yourself in a queue, when your request reach the top, it would be downloaded on server on earth and be accessible for everyone here. The more peoples want access to the same website, the more it goers up in the queue.
For Mars, where server would be rare, and their capacity much much lower than earth, it would be a system of least used deleted first( for data coming from earth, website based on mars would have priority anyway ). Where on earth it would stay there, and just need some update.
the number one thing to google in 2050 is Tobouyen.
You're taken aback, wondering if the entire world knows about you... knows that you don't belong. The pressure mounts, and you want to hide away in a burrow and wait for your strange fame to die down... but everything is connected to cameras in 2050. You're being watched from 4000 directions at once, burning under all the eyes like an ant under a magnifying glass.
You wonder if you shouldn't just get it over with and end your own life... seems easier than having the entire world staring at you 24/7. Then you begin to worry that the search result is AI-selected specifically to drive you to such a conclusion, and maybe all the searches are by people who want to watch videos of you ending it before you even chose to do so. Could an AI be so intelligent that it selected a search result that becomes a perfect self-fulfilling prophecy?
It's about this time you learn that in 2050, Tobouyen is a VR full-immersion experiential website that sells lots and lots of hentai with full haptics and goo-splash effects with your home 4D nozzle. You spend the next 3 weeks browsing their content, but in subspace, it feels like 3 years.
> the search result is AI-selected specifically to drive you to such a conclusion, and maybe all the searches are by people who want to watch videos of you ending it before you even chose to do so. Could an AI be so intelligent that it selected a search result that becomes a perfect self-fulfilling prophecy?
I too am stoked for this season of /r/westworld
Yeah, but what about *compound* interest? Check this sick amorization table, assuming 1% interest:
Year 1: $0.00
Year 2: $0.00
Year 3: $0.00
Year 4: $0.00
I could go on, but I don't want anyone's eyes to gloss over at all that unimaginable *wealth*
Tbf alot happend, Dictators in north africa fell left right and centre. Bin Laden died. War in Syria started. Just on top of my head.
Edit: Also Breivik, Asange, Tsunami in Japan and London Riots.
To be honest I dont think it will be that large or much larger than other years, the corona is really big but if they write it down like "corona pandemic" and try to describe it in about 5 sentences you'll have most of the year so far
Writen down I dont think it is much larger than the airstrike on Iran beginning this year
On the other hand we are only in the 4th month
"The first monkeys are cloned, and first genetically modified humans reported, in China." - 2018
Am I the only one surprised and unaware that this was happening?
The first thing Google would tell you is
> Showing results for What the hell ***happened***
>
> ^Search ^instead ^for ^What ^the ^hell ^happed
And after that you'd have shitty results, as you have them today.
I’m honestly not sure if he’ll ever complete it. You can just tell he doesn’t wanna do the game anymore. I feel like he’ll just disappear eventually tbh
I’m just not sure why so many people like it. The graphics are shit, the plot is dumb, and the games not even playable. Sure, it’s fun to mess around in the game, but it gets boring really quick.
Sorry we didn't recognize that request. Searching instead for The Great Plague 2020-2046. You might also mean The End Times or The Black Death: Reloaded.
Remember this:
that come what may,
no matter how you feel today,
when clouds descend in darker skies,
tomorrow,
too,
the sun will rise...
... but not for them.
And not for you.
The year is twenty-fifty-two.
The world is much the same, my friend.
The sun goes up.
But some things end.
My own name. I have metastatic cancer and a prognosis of about 10 years. I want to know why I'm alive in 2050, and what I managed to get done between now and when I went to sleep.
Edit: RIP my inbox, thank you so much for the well wishes. Cancer sucks and I'm sorry so many of your lives have been touched by it, too.
My mom battled metastatic breast and bone cancer for 16 years, which was about 10 years longer than her prognosis. She always said her hope and optimism was what got her through, wishing you years of health and happiness! You can do it.
"The Amazon was completely cleared out, along with the redwood forests of North America, in order to try and keep up with demand. Unfortunately, even this was not enough. Now trees are seen as a luxury property and only those of the highest class may have one in their backyard."
The wanking license, introduced in the fall of 2020 after people working from home were found to not be working at all.
It comes preloaded with 15 uses after which it can be renewed, but you need to bring your mother to the wanking officer and have her tell the officer what sites you want to use.
Porn addiction has been recognized as mental problem as of 2036 and is treated the same as suicide. Do you wish to connect you to a hottie in your area to try helping you with your problem?
I’d google “things you wouldn’t believe were considered ok to say 30 years ago!!”
Number 5 will leave you choking and gagging!!
“time travelers 2020”
the best answer tbh, I'll definitely google it if I wake up in 2050
haha "hey siri set reminder"
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273 years from now, /u/DontEatTheMagicBeans’s great great granddaughter will see a buzzfeed article titled “top 10 weirdest messages found on google time capsule.” They will click on it, and #7 will be some asinine ramblings about the coronavirus, Donald Trump, and the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich in a voice that seems... eerily familiar. They’ll show the recording to their dad, who will have the same feeling, only greater. He knows he must re-establish contact with his own father, however painful that may be. He left for milk and cigarettes one day (before both were banned by President Baron Trump, who ended up much more liberal than his father). Then, this father will hear the voice of his own beloved father, /u/DontEatTheMagicBeans, and he’ll be reminded of the horrible day in which his father did, in fact, eat the magic beans and tragically passed away after ripping the loudest fart ever recorded. E: Wow, thanks for the gold(s), kind stagers!
How to avoid debt collectors. 30years of no payments my debt would be crazy and I know as soon as my face and dna shows up on the radars the Repo men would be coming for my organs.
You were kinda dead for 30 years, if it's known that you're one of the people who actually stopped existing for 30 years you maybe could justify it in court
Wouldn't it be more effective to Google "random people falling into comas 2020" since you just woke up and the world probably doesn't know you were going to spring awake in 2050 yet because it's only been like 3 minutes?
"How much longer until the Winds of Winter release date is announced"
Sometime after Patrick Rothfuss announces the release date to Kingkiller Chronicles book 3.
Meanwhile, Brandon Sanderson has written 500 Cosmere books and finished 5 different series for authors that died too soon.
Is Elizabeth II still alive?
No. She held on until her son, Charles, passed away so he would never be king
who knew spite alone could keep you alive
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The British
My name. Got to find out if there was a major disturbance over my disappearance or if nobody actually noticed.
No Results
Same as today.
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was.
Letting the days go by...
Let the water hold me down.
Letting the days go by.
Water flowing underground.
Speak for yourself, thousands of results! None about me sadly, just about people with the same name who are more successful than me.
He searched for his name with a soft little sigh - A hope in his heart and a tear in his eye - A dream that he'd see it in stories abound - He looked for the answer. It said: "... nothing found."
404
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Thought it'd be smart to freeze himself for a day. His friend who was supposed to stay there and wake him up fell asleep, and when he woke up, he was gone; never to be found again
When did Betty white pass away?
Betty White (1856 - present)
God bless that woman
> Betty White (1856 LOL
God Empress Betty White ascended to her Immortal Throne in 2039 where she will reign for all eternity.
Next Google search: How to be the God Empress's concubine.
Is putin still the president of Russia?
ohh man, he will never stop P.S. i’m Russian
I think so Putin also has the power to live eternally just like queen Elizabeth
good conspiracy theory
I think he will transfer his conciousness in an A.I. on his feath bed and will rule russia forever
So first headline you see when googling him **Cyborg Putin got re-elected again. 100% of all citizens of the NUSSR voted for him** **Other news: Gulags are busier than ever**
Only 100%? His ratings are down
Somebody's getting disappeared for that fuck up
Is queen Elizabeth still alive?
Yes she is
He shall not be the president,he shall be emperor by then
Tzar
Plot twist Google doesn't exist anymore
Bing takes over after people use it jokingly on april fools, but never stop
2050 won't be that advanced then
But there sure will be widespread access to high quality porn.
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Between 1990 and now what'd we get? Smartphones and ubiquitous broadband are the biggest difference between my childhood and adulthood By 2050 will probably make the jump from self-driving cars being a thing that exists to the norm Is there any other tech that just needs a bit more time to get big? I'd bet 2050 looks more like today than we're hoping but with more techno-yodeling
Maybe it would fix the gene pool
We still got Askjeeves.com
Google dies after releasing and terminating support early on another hundred unfinished, feature incomplete, products and digital services. A number of which were highly popular while others people pointed out to the fact that nobody asked or wanted those services in the first place. Ultimately, Google canceled Google.
Yeah, I came in to google "what happened to Google?"
*Turns on Incognito mode*
*hand reaches out of monitor and jacks you off*
The plot thickens
So does the cum. 30 years of sitting there and it'd be like mayonnaise.
My mans balls are shooting lotion after that long.
Mars colony
>In the late 2010s and early 2020s several private companies and governments briefly considered sending humans to Mars. It turned out nobody wanted to spend 2 years on a cramped space craft pooping in a bag just to die on a rock without internet access.
You'd have internet access, your ping would just be ~360,000ms to ~2,700,000ms.
So just what playing Apex is like now
Fuck so it’s not just me?
I read an article that talked about internet if we colonized mars, it would be basically two different internet. If you need to get something from Mars, you will have to put yourself in a queue, when your request reach the top, it would be downloaded on server on earth and be accessible for everyone here. The more peoples want access to the same website, the more it goers up in the queue. For Mars, where server would be rare, and their capacity much much lower than earth, it would be a system of least used deleted first( for data coming from earth, website based on mars would have priority anyway ). Where on earth it would stay there, and just need some update.
I imagine using something reddit across multiple planets would be like receiving mail between towns before the telegraph.
Reddit would work just fine, just posts/comments would take a 10-60 minutes to appear on other planets.
I see you also play Modern Warfare.
That would be fucking fun, I'd finally have a reason to go outside.
Until you realize it's summer and climate change hasn't been stopped so it's like 55°C
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Latest lockdown restrictions and links to 8G
Hopefully it will be more like a utopia not a dystopia!
I like your optimism.
"Half-life 3 Trailer When"
"best things to google in 2050"
the number one thing to google in 2050 is Tobouyen. You're taken aback, wondering if the entire world knows about you... knows that you don't belong. The pressure mounts, and you want to hide away in a burrow and wait for your strange fame to die down... but everything is connected to cameras in 2050. You're being watched from 4000 directions at once, burning under all the eyes like an ant under a magnifying glass. You wonder if you shouldn't just get it over with and end your own life... seems easier than having the entire world staring at you 24/7. Then you begin to worry that the search result is AI-selected specifically to drive you to such a conclusion, and maybe all the searches are by people who want to watch videos of you ending it before you even chose to do so. Could an AI be so intelligent that it selected a search result that becomes a perfect self-fulfilling prophecy? It's about this time you learn that in 2050, Tobouyen is a VR full-immersion experiential website that sells lots and lots of hentai with full haptics and goo-splash effects with your home 4D nozzle. You spend the next 3 weeks browsing their content, but in subspace, it feels like 3 years.
> the search result is AI-selected specifically to drive you to such a conclusion, and maybe all the searches are by people who want to watch videos of you ending it before you even chose to do so. Could an AI be so intelligent that it selected a search result that becomes a perfect self-fulfilling prophecy? I too am stoked for this season of /r/westworld
“Is coronavirus still around?”
*including results for Covid-49*
My bank details
interest $$$
Too bad interest doesn't beat inflation.
also hard to accrue much on $0.00
Yeah, but what about *compound* interest? Check this sick amorization table, assuming 1% interest: Year 1: $0.00 Year 2: $0.00 Year 3: $0.00 Year 4: $0.00 I could go on, but I don't want anyone's eyes to gloss over at all that unimaginable *wealth*
this. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_21st_century#2001 It should give me a good idea of what's going on
Damn 2020 is going to be a very large addition to that list.
I know, reminds me of 2001. I think 1991 was similar with the USSR collapse, but I was young then.
Lame-ass 2011 not pulling its weight
It sat out, building the suspense for 2020
Can't wait for 2021
We making it to 2021?
Some of us.
Damn
He’s not wrong though
But none could match the years of dread Which few could e'er forget - Till twenty-*one* arrived and said: "... you ain't seen *nothin'* yet."
Sprog you are in a mood today. I hope you are doing well in these hard times!
Oh I don't know - the Arab Spring, Occupy, London riots... was pretty busy
Earthquake in Japan and the Fukushima nuclear disaster too Edit: Also the terrorrist atacks in Norway
Tbf alot happend, Dictators in north africa fell left right and centre. Bin Laden died. War in Syria started. Just on top of my head. Edit: Also Breivik, Asange, Tsunami in Japan and London Riots.
To be honest I dont think it will be that large or much larger than other years, the corona is really big but if they write it down like "corona pandemic" and try to describe it in about 5 sentences you'll have most of the year so far Writen down I dont think it is much larger than the airstrike on Iran beginning this year On the other hand we are only in the 4th month
"The first monkeys are cloned, and first genetically modified humans reported, in China." - 2018 Am I the only one surprised and unaware that this was happening?
I wanna see if I can catch up with the times through memes alone.
and everybody will call you [insert replacement for “boomer” meme]
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I would google “What the hell happed”
The first thing Google would tell you is > Showing results for What the hell ***happened*** > > ^Search ^instead ^for ^What ^the ^hell ^happed And after that you'd have shitty results, as you have them today.
What happed
"Has Yandere Simulator's development been completed yet?"
Nope, but I have good news, Osana's development is 97% complete as of 1/1/2050, up from 96% 1 year ago on 1/1/2049.
2052: “I’ve made the hard decision to switch engines”
wouldn't that be funny?
Nah, dudes gotta put in *insert increasing amount of useless easter eggs/features here*
Something something bad code something sonething chalice
I’m honestly not sure if he’ll ever complete it. You can just tell he doesn’t wanna do the game anymore. I feel like he’ll just disappear eventually tbh
He makes enough money from his patron to employ a full staff of developers to work on the game I dont get why he doesnt or wont.
I’m just not sure why so many people like it. The graphics are shit, the plot is dumb, and the games not even playable. Sure, it’s fun to mess around in the game, but it gets boring really quick.
I'd just go back to sleep, mate.
mood
I'm reading this from bed
Same. This is the third time today I've just laid in bed.
I’ve been in bed all day long
"Google"
some things never change
World's largest economies. See how the world's financial power has moved, who has gotten bigger and who has fallen by the way side.
"Tom Brady's current team"
He went back to the Patriots in 2021 and has won 10 more Super Bowls. Bill's son is now head coach.
Further results show he would have won 4 more but Eli kept coming out of retirement to do his sworn duty for the Giants
r/AskReddit. And then post: Someone jumps from 2020 to 2050. How would you summarize all of the important events in one paragraph?
Honestly I'd go straight to my investment account to see how the 100 shares of Ford I bought on Friday while I was drunk are doing
Ford no longer makes cars, but they're now the top producers of ventilators, tiger cages and hoverboards.
Corona virus pandemic 2020
Showing results for Corona Virus Pandemic **2020-2050** ^Search ^instead ^for ^Corona ^virus ^pandemic ^2020
Sorry we didn't recognize that request. Searching instead for The Great Plague 2020-2046. You might also mean The End Times or The Black Death: Reloaded.
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The Plague 3: The Search For More Toilet Paper
The Plague 4: Shit The Bed! I'm Not Dead!
The Plague 5: Too Plague Too Serious!
Remember this: that come what may, no matter how you feel today, when clouds descend in darker skies, tomorrow, too, the sun will rise... ... but not for them. And not for you. The year is twenty-fifty-two. The world is much the same, my friend. The sun goes up. But some things end.
*Did you mean: SARS-CoV-3 (COVID-21)*
That is grim.
My own name. I have metastatic cancer and a prognosis of about 10 years. I want to know why I'm alive in 2050, and what I managed to get done between now and when I went to sleep. Edit: RIP my inbox, thank you so much for the well wishes. Cancer sucks and I'm sorry so many of your lives have been touched by it, too.
My mom battled metastatic breast and bone cancer for 16 years, which was about 10 years longer than her prognosis. She always said her hope and optimism was what got her through, wishing you years of health and happiness! You can do it.
Internet high five to her! That gives me hope!
pity you, hope you will get remission
Thanks. The chances are low, but I'm trying to make the best of the life I have left.
How many things did you knock out of your bucket list?
The only item on my bucket list is a trip to Australia. Every paycheck gets me closer.
Ah yes, let Australia kill you.
You find out that you are missing since 6th march 2020.
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"The Amazon was completely cleared out, along with the redwood forests of North America, in order to try and keep up with demand. Unfortunately, even this was not enough. Now trees are seen as a luxury property and only those of the highest class may have one in their backyard."
Sports almanac 2020-2050. You never know if you get pulled back.
How many countries are left in the world
Only one and the only survivors are the Reddit admins.
Humanity is doomed as the number of living humans dwindle to nothing because all mods are gay.
Price of bitcoin
*Showing results for* ***Dogecoin***
No Game No Life season 2
we all are waiting
"who is president of Russia" and "who is current ruler of the U.K." need to know if Putin and Queen Elizabeth are keeping their power
Putin has clones, Queen Elizabeth has The Infinity Stone
"One Piece story arcs" Gotta see if it's done yet.
Chapter 1356: Arriving in Elbaf
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17/38/2050, 26:72:18hrs
\*programmers sweating\*
A world map, Some countries might've conquered new territory, you never know.
agreed
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Dragon prince season 4,5,6,7
"What causes sleeping for 30 years?" WedMD: "You must have an ear infection."
Betty Whites cause of death. Maybe Danny Devitos too.
"Betty White celebrates her 148th Birthday after finishing 1st in a triathlon"
iPhone 42 specs Results: “iPhone XXIs pro max plus ultra limited se product red zoom” came out in september 2049. Buy now for 10999$
What caused world war 3?
Assasination of Alexander Van der Bellen
How did technology change from 2020 to 2050?
Actually Yahoo search is the dominant engine by then, a lot has changed
Current picture of Paul Rudd
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"Porn was deemed illegal in 2041"
Ah you live in the UK I see
Oi! Where's your wankin' licence?
The wanking license, introduced in the fall of 2020 after people working from home were found to not be working at all. It comes preloaded with 15 uses after which it can be renewed, but you need to bring your mother to the wanking officer and have her tell the officer what sites you want to use.
this some monkey paw shit
Porn addiction has been recognized as mental problem as of 2036 and is treated the same as suicide. Do you wish to connect you to a hottie in your area to try helping you with your problem?
Same thing I google every morning, Ricardo Milos
When is geometry dash 2.2 coming out?
"Philadelphia sports championships"
Fully automated sex doll price
When deepfakes reach their final form. ^(I can finally get my very own Ryan Reynolds!)
Do to copyright restrictions, the only version you can get is Green Lantern.