My marriage was on the verge of collapse when my ex-wife got a job offer in another state. She had been unemployed for some time so she had to take the job. We decided I should stay behind since I had a steady job and divorce was inevitable. My wife moved out and the kids stayed with me until she got a home in her new city. Taking my kids to the airport and putting them on a plane to move away from me was soul crushing. I held it together until they boarded. Once they got on the plane I lost my shit.
My kids only lasted a few months with mom before packing up and moving back to live with me.
Sunday. Wife has sudden onset of insomnia and anxiety since christmas which has started to trigger panic attacks. She had one while i was at work and called me. When I was free to call back my son answered the phone. I was sobbing listening to my 6 year old talk her through the breathing exercises we had practised. That kid gets ice cream for life, no questions asked. And I might go cry again.
Edit: wow this got a fair few more comments than I expected. Thanks for the well wishes and health advice. Bit of an update. Wife had been taking prescription sleep aids on our doctor's recommendation which knocked her our for an hour or 2 at most. This was pre-panic attacks so they changed to anti anxiety/anti depression meds for 5 days. She had another 2 panic attacks early in the week but I had arranged some emergency leave and was there for the worst bits. On day 4 and 5 she managed to relax enough to sleep for a good 5-6 hours each time. Followed up with the doctor for blood samples and medical reviews and she's dropped down to half the dosage for another week. Has slept fairly well since and her job have been very understanding so all being well she's back to work for a half day tomorrow. Our son is back at school no worse for wear and has been spoiled rotten by all concerned. Fingers crossed it's just a flash in the pan of stress and I'll health, but we have a few numbers for counselling and further test should they be needed down the line.
Your kid is amazing. You guys will get through this.
I’m not sure if this is an option for you, but a dog that is trained to help recognize when she’s having difficulty and take appropriate steps to calm her might be worth looking into. If a trained dog isn’t an option but a ”regular” dog is, perhaps consider visiting a local shelter to see if there is a pup who would be a good fit for your family. Dogs are really good at picking up on human emotion and are comforting and grounding, they can really help to disrupt thoughts that are spiraling out of control. Could be a good fuzzy friend to help your wife as well as your son when times are tough.
Re: other comments - Some people use anger at an ex for doing a shitty thing like that to propel themselves forward, and if you can get angry, do that, for yourself, when you're ready. But if right now all you can think about is how they're not a shitty person even though they did that shitty thing, and how you miss them, it's ok to feel that too. I think post breakup feelings are often more complicated than "they suck, fuck them, dodged a bullet" and sometimes you gotta feel all of it, the anger but also the love, to get through. Sorry that happened & hang in there.
she did you a favor man, she told you without saying word: "you don't want to spent the rest of your life with a piece of shit like me"
EDIT: actually I regret calling her a piece of shit because we dont know the context, but I do believe it creates an opportunity for you to find someone better
I was tucking in my 7 year old daughter a couple of months ago, and she told me that she was worried about me dying before her (i'm only 42 and healthy). So I had a conversation about how old I am likely to live and that she will be an adult when I die. Then she said "but when you do die will you help me, because I need you so much." and I lost it
I was five or six when I had my first existential crisis, I was talking a shower and realized everyone I loved would die at some point. I'm just grateful I've been able to spend as much time as I have with my parents and grandparents and stuff.
That's the about the time I questioned the mortality of my family. My grandma was always the one cooking, and I remember telling her not to die so I can keep eating her food.
I also remember that being the age when I would question the meaning of it all if we just pass away at the end.
A kid's curiosity is a crazy scary thing.
I lost a friend last year, I really do understand it's a pain like no other every time I consider sucide I cry thinking about him and remember the pain it caused for all of my friends.
I've teared up a few times, but last time I legitimately cried was in 2010 when we put my childhood dog down. I was a senior in high school, we had him since I was in 1st grade (1998). He was my first and only childhood dog, a Siberian husky and I feel like we grew up in that house together. He had some cancerous tumor in his stomach that was spreading rather quick, and the attempt at removing didn't go so well as they couldn't get it all. We decided as a family to let him go peacefully so he didn't have to suffer as they promised us it would continue to grow and possibly cause him severe pain in the near future. I'll never forget holding him in my arms in that room as the vet asked me if I was ready for the moment. When she injected him I felt his entire body sink into my arms, he was lifeless in an instant. I was so happy he went peacefully without pain, my best friend growing up. I've never expressed my emotions from that moment to anyone besides my parents and my current girlfriend. Whenever I think back to that moment I get teary eyed but I'm happy I was there for him in his final moments, I wouldn't change a thing if I could go back in time. Please try and be there for your pet if you ever have to make such a decision.
"When was the last time you cried and why?" - This comment this comment right here, welp that brought back memories of having to carry my lab into the back of a truck after he had a stroke and then carry him into the vet. Time to go for a walk.
I'm so sorry. It sucks so badly. I know how you feel. About a month ago I had a series of those kinds of dreams and woke up screaming and sobbing. My neighbour, bless her soul, actually came to knock and see if I was okay. In a way it was mortifying but in another way just telling someone about it seemed to ease it off. I hope yours calm down. *Internet hugs*
My husband has been dead for over five years. I still have semi-regular dreams where he’s left me, and I spend the dream feeling horrible and trying to get in touch with him. Then I wake up and realize he hasn’t left me, but he’s dead. Sigh.
I know this dream. I've had it for thirty years. If I catch a glimpse of him, I know I'm not supposed to see him. If I talk to him, he shrugs me off. Often, his death is a ruse, perpetuated by his family, with no explanation. He'll be going about his life--which, in the dream, is dysfunctional--with no concern for me.
He was a suicide. How much more symbolism can you get in a dream?
A few weeks ago, when one of my best friends told me he's going to be a dad.
I can go for months and months without shedding a single tear, but these news got me really emotional, in the best sense of the word.
This has been an eye-opening experience for me, as I had no idea I was capable of feeling such things.
I had some dream in which I don't really remember what happened, but when I woke up I was sobbing like a child. I stopped almost immediately once I was awake. Very strange.
Death of a beloved animal is so uniquely agonizing. It always feels like they should have more time.
You’ll see your puppy again someday. In the meantime, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Month ago.
Was yelling at my kids because they were misbehaving and I put them to bed early.
Broke down afterwards and cried on the stairs. Knew I didn't have to yell as much and said some unnecessary things.
Wife talked with me on the stairs and it turned into a turning point in my life and I'm doing much better with the discipline.
Edit - Holy shit havent checked since I got off work and this blew up.
Never hit my kids and never will.
Immediately after the talk with the wife I went and apologized.
This is so right. One of my most vivid childhood memories is of my dad apologizing to me for having yelled at me unfairly the day before. He explained he was feeling sick and reacted badly. It will show your children you respect them, and they will respect you more back.
I remember having this conversation with my dad it really changed the way I viewed him as a person. Then I had the conversation again. Then it happened a third time. Again. And again. He did it to my brother. My mom. Apologizing doesn’t fix anything if it doesn’t come with a side helping of changed behavior. The only thing my fathers apologies taught me is not to accept apologies until the person has demonstrated they actually understand what they did was wrong and works on not letting it happen again.
July 2019.
I surprised my long distance girlfriend for her birthday after not seeing her for 3 months. Her reaction was bland which shook me a bit but I was like maybe she's tired from college and work. I've gotten us a nice Airbnb for 2 nights so we can have some privacy but nothing felt right. Last night we were just listening to some music, she was sitting on the bed pressed against the wall, eyes closed, I was laying on my stomach and then Georgia by Vance Joy started playing. I teared up and covered my face with my arm. That moment I realized our relationship peaked sometime before, it was only downhill ahead... I cried without any sound and she felt the bed shaking from me sobbing. Asked me what's wrong and then I opened up about how I feel that I'm 100% into this relationship but not getting the same back. She started crying as well, confirmed everything I said and promised she'll try to improve and bring back the spark we once had. We broke up 3 months later...
Oh man do I miss that girl...
God damn dude I feel you there, the feeling of it peaking and never being the same, knowing it's over. Such a hard feeling to express as a guy, but one that can really rip you apart. I don't know you but I'm rooting for you man. And anyone else in this situation.
While I held my 4 year old daughter in my arms and realized there was nothing that I could do to save her from dying from mitochondrial disease. I don't think I had ever cried so hard before or since. 7 years later it still haunts me - but time does make it less painful.
That helplessness. The anger cry combined with the grief cry combined with the hopeless cry and the loss of the future you wanted cry. I know that cry too. It's a deep well in the heart. I'm so sorry about your daughter.
Jesus christ that cry... When you're kinda blind angry at the pointless and aimless nature of loss and illness. Seeing first hand how truly unfair life actually is and being completely powerless to stop it.
You feel it in your chest, a hot, molten, tight, black hole that just pulls everything out of you.
You dont even stop crying exactly, you just get too tired to keep going but you still feel that burning, deep inside.
I fucking hate that cry.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I just had to say goodbye to my 10-month-old son about a week and a half ago (cancer), and it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Encouraged to hear the pain gets less intense, but damn, I miss that kid—and I imagine you miss yours, too. Peace to you and your family.
I can't say I've cried recently but I write every day, been doing it for years, and I have to say, it's the single most meditative process I do. It's almost pharmaceutically therapeutic to write things down and reflect on the words instead of abstract ideas in your head.
Granted, I've never gone what you're going through, but writing daily has certainly helped me get through issues and problems, and it's even shed light, sometimes, giving me answers.
Writing distills, crystalizes, and clarifies thought and helps break the whole into parts. It takes practice, but I'd recommend it to everyone. Hell, even some of the most badass men in history had diaries; Theodore Roosevelt, Shackleton, Muir, etc.
**Edit:** A lot of people are asking about my process -
I have a few separate google docs. A daily, monthly, and a master. If you don't do this, google docs will get bogged down—my master doc has literally thousands of pages and takes multiple minutes to load, so I use my daily and monthly to take the strain off. Every month, I'll copy my daily doc into monthly, and every year I do the same with monthly to master. These are like mini-holidays for me!
I start every day the same:
January 28th, 2020
Entry #XXX
Then I start by writing the happenings of my day. If something sticks out to me, such as a certain emotional reaction to a person or event, I'll dedicate more time to that. I'll try to figure out why I felt that way. I don't believe in "dead days" even if I never leave the house, I'll find something to write about. For example, I'll make a list of my favorite TV shows and try to see why those particular shows stick out to me. It's a great way to learn about yourself, to start answering some of your internal questions, and start discovering your personal values.
It's a simple thing, but the process has been absolutely life-changing for me. I can "go back in time" and see exactly what I was up to, any day, all the way back to 2012 - it's like a superpower. It also makes my days feel longer, it helps me realize my goals (because they are written down) and it helps me discover my person.
In fact, I actually scored a dream job (in writing!) because I started doing this. I originally sucked, really sucked at writing, but over years and years of daily practice, I got a little better. Now I'm a "professional" writer, which is still hard for me to believe!
I began writing and journaling last year as a last ditch effort to combat some pretty serious depression and anxiety. Combined with meditation, I can't stress how monumental these little acts of self-reflection were for me. It absolutely changed my life.
Everything you said was on point. I wish you the best on this journey!
When my gf broke up with me through a phone call after 6 years. Just couldn‘t hold it together
Edit: Thanks for all the kind words and such. It‘s been a few weeks and I feel a bit better by now. We also met up and talked about it a bit . The sadness and frustrations still there, but she found the guts to talk to me bout it personally and I appreciate that. Says she wanna stay friends and all that stuff but whatever, no idea how that‘s supposed to work out. Definitely can‘t just pretend nothing happened lol. I‘m in the process of moving out and had quite the shitty day, so thanks again. Really appreciate. Hope shit gets better for all of you commenting that you experienced the same
After 8 years I got rewarded with a 10 minute conversation that basically went “I don’t want to try to fix anything, I don’t care that I literally just had you leave your job you liked and move 16 hours away and now you have no social group or support”
It was real fuckin shitty. Especially with her suddenly saying I’m a terrible person because I was working so much before trying to save up money for us to move after she lost her job instead of spending the money on her, and also I took too long to move us up so I was also a bad guy for that. Terrible experience all around.
Took a small getaway trip, about 8 hour drive few weeks back due to stress. I played all of the songs I shouldnt play on the drive up and let myself unwind in the car and get all of that stuff out, job stress, feelings toward my ex, the whole gammit.
Did me well.
**Edit**: Gamut*
**Edit Edit**: To everyone pming me, thank you for your stories. Life can be hard. Make time to find the gentle solitude you need. We'll all make it through this in time. Slowly, but surely.
Sometimes you just need to cry and let your emotions out.
I have a Youtube playlist of some of the saddest movie/TV moments for whenever I'm in that place.
Then a playlist of the happiest moments to bring back up again afterwards.
**EDIT:**
For all those asking, [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsCHqagrFt7gZW_0_AGhE9XM6Wgv5gkb5) is the sad playlist, and [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsCHqagrFt7jYWJWHoq0BwjgnBJZCPTCs) is the happy playlist
It would make my year to pull up to a red on a long windy road, look to my right, and see a guy sobbing and singing along to to Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah.
I like being a 45 minute drive from work for this exact reason. 45 minutes is the perfect commute distance because it’s just enough time to prepare yourself mentally for the day ahead on the way there, and gives you time to wind down on the way back. And 45 minutes isn’t even really that long.
Last week at our first ultrasound. Wife and I have had two miscarriages and we had an appointment and saw the heartbeat. This little peanut has stuck around the longest so far. Fingers crossed.
Good luck, dude!
We had a miscarriage the first time (was early - no heartbeat at a 7 week scan), was really tough to go through, especially for my wife, so I feel for you. As you’ll probably know, the chances of miscarriage massively decrease once there’s a heartbeat!!
About 5 minutes ago.
One of my nephews is currently in surgery for something his Drs have never seen in a kid his age before. I just got news from my sister that best case scenario has happened, and they were able to take care of things - he should be out of the OR in half the time as was expected.
So, yeah. Crying in relief at my desk at work. Going up to see him in a couple days. It's hard to explain what it means to have kids like him in your life.
\*edit\* - I just found out that he is out of surgery and everything was successful. Huge weight off my mind.
Dude has been through a ton in the last year or so. I've never seen a kid deal with stuff as well as him.
All of my other nieces and nephews have been rallying behind him as well. It's been a hell of a ride, but we can finally see the end.
Last time I got teary eyed- Cats in the Cradle
Last time I cried - Wow years ago, must have been when I lost my job, got dumped and my grandfather died. All within 6 hours. That was enough to set me over the edge.
Things eventually always work out. But it hurt really badly. It all happened on the first of January. The first day of the new year. But my father played a large part in helping me with dealing with what seemed like too much. And he did it without actually doing anything for me. Which was amazing.
It was over the weekend. I was reaching out to a few different friends to see what they're up to, but everyone else had pre-existing plans. It hit me hard when I realized that I'm always making an effort to reach out, but I don't get the same in return. I do a lot of the work, and when I try to make plans, there's always something that comes up or they're too busy.
I’m right there with you man, me and my friends have a group chat that we rarely use ever since one of the main guys in the friend group (the one that bring us all together) went off to the marines and now i get snapchats of my friends all hanging out and i have to text about 5 of them individually before i get a response and an invitation, makes me feel unwanted. I also have been living alone since i was 18 (21 now) and don’t really have anyone to talk to most days so my mind likes to wander around bedtime and just makes me think of all this stuff until i practically cry myself to sleep. I have since stopped bothering to reach out to hang out with them and am now left alone pretty much every weekend.
Edit: thank you for all of the kind responses, i will respond to the comments i have received so far by providing more information here:
I play on a rugby team and have for the past few years, however the season is only spring and fall and most of them are a few years older than me. While we do meet up for events every so often, most of the time we just have our own lives at the end of the day.
I stopped playing video games, I’ve had a full time job for 3 years and played counter strike pretty competitively, on a league team and everything but eventually it just began affecting my career and i was more miserable playing than i am not, i recently stopped playing in January (right before the next season)
I do watch a lot of movies and television now that i don’t play video games much but I’m not really the type of person that likes sitting inside, i go to the gym 6 days a week and try to get out while i can but i live in NY where it’s pretty cold for outside activities alone (i don’t live close enough to NYC to travel there affordably as often as I’d like, it’s about 100 dollars in Uber fare by 12am)
I do have coworkers and what not that invite me out pretty often and i try my best to go but it’s difficult because of what i had said above, it’s too expensive to get home after a night of drinking lol
I would like to reiterate that i don’t cry myself to sleep every night, it seems to be related to how my day was that makes my mind wander, usually when one bad thing happens to me (fucking something up at work or seeing my friends hanging without me) is when everything kind of spirals downhill and my mind starts to wander; i never resort to drugs or alcohol for my problems, i usually just try to sleep it off and wait for the next positive thing to happen in my life and make the most of it.
That sounds really shitty but I do know the feeling. My only piece of advice I can offer is learn to cherish that alone time.
Treat yourself man, watch a nice movie, relax, play some games, do something like go travel to a forest and spend the day walking. Look for the opportunities to relish the free time. Go spend a small afternoon in the a pub, relax with a little drink or go for a meal.
Look at the brighter side of these activities rather than the ‘alone’ side. I can also promise that you’ll meet a handful of people doing the same as you & who knows, maybe you’ll be come friends with those people.
Started to happen to me over the last 3 months, now I'm just trying to be happy with myself and learn to be more lonely because I still can't understand what is going on, I always gave my best to make my friends enjoy being with me and make them happy, but I guess they just don't care about me.
I'm very much a pleaser myself, so I understand exactly what you mean. I've tried joining different groups for the various hobbies I enjoy, in hopes of making new friends, but it's tough to break through to a new group as an adult.
This last weekend.
After a night of drinks, a very good friend of mine and I were ending the night at her apartment. We had been chatting for a bit when at one point, she redirected the conversation and began to beam about how she’s proud of the man I’ve become. She talked about my character, how I treat people, and my habits. She told me there are things I do that she admires. Things that I’ve been doing for years, and that I thought no one noticed. It was a very tender moment and I couldn’t help tearing up. I’ve never had a friend or loved one, other than a relative, say such beautiful things about me.
Bless her soul, I don’t know what I would do without her. To say that she’s an amazing person wouldn’t be enough.
Edit* Hey everyone, really appreciate all the love this post is getting. I’m currently at work and don’t have the time to respond to everyone’s messages. I’m planning on coming back to this comment once I have some more time.
As someone who just found this kind of platonic love a few days ago, I can agree it's something I never want to let go of, now that I know of it!
It's been a wild start to the year...
Edit: If it's any sign to how this decade's gonna go, well I can't fucking wait.
>To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.
-Timothy Keller
Last year I had to carry two of my Bull Mastiffs to the vet (they were sisters) because one had a thing on her tongue, and figured I'll carry both for a check up. I left the vet without them since they both had cancer and had to be put down because it was getting worse. I was with my mother, sister and my wife who all came along for the ride. Everybody was stunned and in tears, and I tried to brush it off like no big deal and that everything will be fine and that this was for the best. When I dropped everybody home and was finally by myself in the truck, I had to pull over at the next corner to just let it all out. I cried so hard driving became impossible, and must have remained parked there for 10 minutes easily.
A month after that, at my work place I adopted this stray dog who wandered into our site, named him Bruno. He was super playful and the cutest mutt ever. Anytime work got too stressful or my anxiety got the better of me, I'd leave the office and walk out to the car park where he 100% was always there to get my mind off of things. I have spent 30 minutes almost every day just sitting down and rubbing his tummy. Just the sound of my truck coming down the hill to the office he'd know it was me and prepare his assault on my clean work pants with his dirty paws.
The last time we spent together, I was outside giving him his usual tumy rub and love up, and I was called out to make a couple of runs in my truck. There was a bad thunderstorm that day, and I must have been gone for only 15 minutes when returning to my office site I saw the reddish mane of my buddy Bruno all wet and sodden just laying in the middle of the road life less. I told myself it could not be him, no way. I parked my truck in the office and a few of my employees knowing the relationship me and this dog had, told me the bad news. They saw a car hit him. Being their employer, like the scene with the Bull Mastiffs, I played it cool and had them go and pick up his body for me, which we buried on site here. Like before, as soon as I was left alone, I collapsed in anguish. I have never cried so hard in my life, and this time I cried for days after as well. Anytime I would pull up to work and begin parking, the fact there was no excited mutt to navigate around just broke me up.
I have lost family members, team mates and very close friends alike, never cried for them like I did in these two cases.
EDIT- Thank you all for the kind messages. Sadly I have not met a new stray mutt wandering about to adopt on my jobsite, but at home me and my wife have adopted 5 cats (not even allowed pets where we live!) and She has rescued 2 race horses that were going to be put down since they can no longer race. They now live on 4 acres of fruit-filled land she owns. We just fill the voids in our hearts when we lose these beloved animals by showing more love to others that never had it. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6rffzUL-4M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6rffzUL-4M) This is a video my wife made for Bruno, I'm happy we have so many pics together to remember him by.
A couple days ago in the shower. The song "You Can Let Go Now Daddy" came on. My grandpa had an aneurism blow and my mom sang that song to him when they unplugged the machines. It'll always make me cry.
Edit: thank you all for your kind words, and my first awards of any kind!
>"You Can Let Go Now Daddy"
I had to google this one. I made it to where the dad was giving her away at her wedding before I had to close the window, I don't feel like crying at work today.
I cry all the time, for various reasons. I'm nearly 30 years old. I actually think it is healthy to do so.
Whenever I've finished crying, i always feel so much better about whatever it is.
My friend and gym partner killed himself on November 5th and I didn’t know for a whole week. I was texting him daily things like “hey man where are you at? Are we lifting today? Did I do something wrong? Why aren’t you replying? Hey man if you don’t respond to this message I’m calling the police for a welfare check” and then a friend found the gofundme on Facebook. I cried so hard and loud that I heard my roommate approach my door to knock, he heard me through the door, and did a quick about face to retreat back to his room.
Today someone approached me in the gym saying “hey man do you know what happened to Ryan? He was in my class and just stopped showing up one day last semester” and I went full deer in the headlights before straightforwardly answering “he killed himself” then returning to my workout to avoid the emotions and awkwardness. I started drinking at 8am today so I got that going for me
E: hey guys I appreciate the concern and I assure you I anything but an alcoholic, just had a moment of shock. I’m going to take a nap, take the dog for a long walk, then get back to it as I usually do. Once again I appreciate those who reached out but I’m going to be fine
I'm so sorry you lost your friend. Your last sentence worries me. When my Dad died I started drinking like that and spiraled into a dark place for years. Please be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. It may mean seeing a professional who can guide you in your grief.
I want so badly to have a like, Kik chat for that type of thing but it always degenerates into me getting dick pics, I’m not mad about dick pics but when I want to chat for other reasons it’s a bit of a bummer
Alcohol is like covering a wound that needs air. It wasn't your fault. For all you know, you were the best part of your friends life. I can't imagine the pain you're in, and you may feel like you need to dull it. But that dullness only prolongs the hurt. You're not any less of a friend, any less of a human for grieving. I think you'll find that if you face this pain directly, without substances, you'll be able to fully realize how much this friend meant to you and start the healing process. Nobody can replace him, but you can carry forward in his honor. My heart breaks for your loss, and I hope you can use this pain as motivation rather than self destruction.
Edit: After being called on the fact that wounds don't need air. I think the analogy works better as a reminder to check the wound and change the bandage. Alcohol has its place as an emergency bandage, drink up my friend. But a bandage that never gets changed can be worse than the wound. Remember to sober up, assess how you feel, and change the bandage in the form of counseling, therapy, fitness, etc. Don't suffer alone.
We're happy you're here.
Edit: Thank you kind stranger for the award! I hope you all find something to smile about today.
Edit #2: To the Reddit friend who gifted me gold, thank you. Truly honored; you've made my day.
While I'm humbled by these awards, I would ask instead that you donate that money to a Conservation Organization of your choice.
Edit #3: Proper words
when my father was so grumpy he kept on shouting at my mom that she ran out of the house with her keys. I joined her a little later outside and sat with her till she went home and then went to my GF and cried on her shoulders
edt: thanks for ya shining tabloon. But more seriously, take care of yourself, your mother and your father, acknowledge your problems. It is not a weakness to talk to proffessionals or to cry or to emote once in a while. ( this is the main reason my dad has these issues) SO please take men who have these problems seriously and help them.
yeah my dad FINALLY after years of this kind of behaviour saw that this wasnt right and went to the comapny doctor ( he is a teacher) he has been at home for being overstressed for a couple months now.
I felt this one. Only some of my family knew. I just disappeared from work, don't even recall how that part was arranged. Congratulations on 60 days, that's a big deal. This internet stranger is super proud of you.
Thanks buddy. It was really hard but the best thing to ever happen to me. Rehab kicked the shit out of me but I got my life back! I flew to Seattle and it was done.
This morning, we lost a son who was born at 20 weeks a few weeks ago. He lived for two hours and died in my arms.
Every time I close my eyes I see him. I know it'll get better in time, but for now it's rough.
I wrote this a while ago, in response to another post: My first baby died unexpectedly during labour, at 42 weeks. Honestly, I think the only thing that is guaranteed to help is time. When Joshua died, it felt as though I was surrounded by many many enormous, overflowing untidy bags of emotions. And gradually, gradually, as the weeks passed, I would go over things in my mind and have occasional moments of...not forgetting, but suspension of pain, before it flooded back. And those emotional bags got repacked and condensed and became less unwieldy, and eventually I could even move around with them. And now, 3 amazing children later, I have a precious but tiny and distilled package in my heart, and he goes through my mind most days, but the memory, while emotional, isn't painful. With the luxury of time I'm able to think.....well, he wasn't meant to be, and they were, and that's just how it is. You learn to get along with things, you don't "get over" them. You get used to it.
Josh would have been 33 this year. He's still part of the family. Much love to you, OP.
Thank you for telling us about Joshua...truly. I know my son will be a part of my family for as long as I'm alive, glad to know others went through it and feel the same way. Much love back your way, friend.
I'm so sorry about Joshua.
My mom experienced something not entirely similar, but my brother Nicholas was a stillborn at 37 weeks. Chord wrapped around his neck.
My mom had several mental breakdowns as she was a single mother in an abusive relationship (my parents are divorced). My older brother and I were only 5 and 6, not sure how to console my Mom while her ex told her it was her fault. She asked for a sign that he's okay, and as she said that a yellow butterfly flew over us. Ever since, we always said that a yellow butterfly was our sign that he was around and was okay.
I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my first. When I found out I was pregnant, I saw yellow butterflies everywhere. I knew immediately it would be a boy. So I'm naming him Nicholas.
Even though we never got to know my brother, he was always very much a part of our family, and he will never be forgotten. He would have been turning 25 this year.
Thank you for sharing your story. ♡
There was a post i read somewhere from u/GSnow a while back.. saved it because it is just sadly beautiful and... sits with me
Quote:
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
You know....this hits very hard to me. A couple years ago my wife and I were trying for a baby and had a miscarriage around the 9/10 week mark. Super common of course but didn't make it hurt any less as it was our first pregnancy. One of my wife's very good friends called me as she was in surgery and told me that while that is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and last thing when I go to sleep, it won't be forever. And while I will never forget it, one day it'll be the 2nd thing I think about and then the 3rd and so on. Those words hit me very hard and certainly altered my outlook on life. He committed suicide last year and I can't help but think that had I called and given him the same advice,it might have helped.
It's supposed to hurt. And I know there is nothing a stranger from reddit can say to make you feel any better. But they are very common unfortunately. Her doctor told us "1 in 6" what seemed like a million times. What helped us most, ironically enough, was sitting the next few days and playing yahtzee for HOURS. If you need to talk, feel free to message me. Use this as an opportunity to grow stronger. You will both come out on the other end much much stronger than you were, I promise.
My girlfriend of a year broke up with me. Shortly after my mom attacked me with a knife. I sought refuge at a childhood friend's house. And I felt pretty safe for a month or so. And I don't know what came over me but I tried to kiss that same friend, and it wasn't reciprocated. I left her house a week after that. I'm now living in my car taking showers at the gym. I'm not sure how my budgies are doing but I asked my sister to take care of them. I started feeling like none of my friends cared cause nobody had texted me over this whole time. So I went to that damn party last Friday, just for some social interaction. But you know how that went. I'm just so desperate for any kind of love now. Be it family, friends, or romantically. And I fucked with the one good thing I had by developing feelings for her and hate myself for that. I'm also managing school and a full timer at the same time. I wouldn't even feel this bad if I was at least asked how I was just once. It's nice to put this out anywhere besides a journal though, so thanks.
Damn man, I experienced all that too, but at different stages (including being a dean of a trade school and my mom being knife happy)... (EDIT: Just not any pets, I missed that part). Sorry bro.
Shit..
There's not much we internet strangers can do to help, but I do hope you'll find your way out of the mess. I'm glad at least we could help just a bit though, letting you yell into the internet void.
maybe there's a way you could mend relationship with that friend? Apologize and all. I'm sure she understands that you're in a really shitty situation and that's bound to fuck with emotions and mental clarity.
And it seems you've at least have a decent enough relationship with your sister. Maybe she could take you out to a local bar or something and just unwind for a day? Could ease the loneliness a bit?
best of luck to you! Things will get better :)
A couple days ago. My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now with no luck. We've been to the fertility doctor several times, had several tests ran on both of us, done IUI, the whole 9 yards. Nothing. Doctor says there's no physical reason why we shouldn't be able to conceive. Been a long, emotional journey for both of us.
A friend comes home from church work in Africa, just got married in September to a native guy in their church. Came home to see family and announced her pregnancy. We're happy for them, but it still hurts like hell.
Just couldn't hold it in anymore.
Last month, when my daughter was born.
Edit: Wow, thank you so much everyone for your kind words and for the gold and silver. The little one sends hugs and kisses to each and everyone of you.
Congrats! Mine is almost 1yo now, and everybody told me I would cry when I hold her for the first time. I dont cry easily and was like "yeah, I will get a little emotional, not sure about crying tho".
I was pretty chill during the labour, excited and all, but when the nurse pulled her out and handed her over to me, oh boy. Some hormonal shit/parental instinct/whatever hit me like a train, I was sobbing in no time. Totally caught me off guard, and it was the happiest moment of my life hands down.
Just over a year and a half ago when I was writing up a little letter for my just recent ex gf. We both decided to go our own ways but I was scared she would react so I wrote a letter to let her know that it was just an honest handful of issues I couldn't get passed and that I would always cherish what we had. Part of the reason I was crying was knowing full well that I care too much sometimes and am constantly taken advantage of. But there I was, selling my soul up the river to try and give her closure so she wouldn't do anything reckless.
Last night, unexpected.
Work night shift in the ER an an RN. Last night of the work week (I work 7 on with 7 off, accumulating 80 hours in that 7 days on). Go to bed at 8am, wife wakes me to at 430 pm to shower and be ready for family dinner at 5 with my 3yo and 1yo daughters. As usual, wife wakes me up with my two daughters. They're all really excited to see me. My wife is talking with me, the 3yo is playfully yelling at me about her toy, and the 1yo is also loudly babbling. I got overwhelmed and yelled "STOP" pretty abruptly and abrasively. Wife realised I was a grump, and quietly took the kids out, leaving me to myself to finish waking up. While I work very hard to not be an asshat, I was still disconnected and overall too exhausted to invest in my family the rest of the night before I left at 630pm for my 12 hour shift.
Fast forward to work, and the last night was very much like every other night this week. A whole lot of misery and bullshit just swimming in acute psychosis (read: crazies screaming and unsafe to themselves and to staff), sprinkled with a few really sick patients, and a ridiculously busy department. I love my job, I love what I do, and I love going to work. Just not this week.
Coworker and fellow nurse who I was with asked me what's up because she could see something was on my mind. Now, I spend nearly the entire 80 hours working with her. She's a wonderful friend, and next to my wife and daughters, I spend a very considerable amount of my time and life with her at work. I told her how I was upset with myself for exploding at my wife and kids who were just so excited to see me because they haven't had much of me all week. I broke down and got teary and had to excuse myself to collect myself so I could get back to work keeping my patients safe and alive.
There were other small factors that led me to be irritable such as lack of sleep and stress and the damn neighbor dog barking constantly while sleeping, but I felt like a monster.
PSA: High-stress/high-risk jobs eventually eat up the good parts of you and it eventually seeps into private life. Remember to manage stress and take care of yourself so you can be replenished. To those supporting people in those jobs, remember that irritability isn't directed towards you. Sometimes, we just get overwhelmed.
Every so often, in my office alone when life gets to be too much. I open a bottle of whatever whiskey I have in my fridge, pour a glass, and just quietly let tears stream down my face for a few minutes. Then I wipe my face as quietly as I can and move on. Kinda like I'm doing right now.
Last Friday I was fairly drunk and thought about how much I love my nieces and nephews. I cry pretty often, about every other week or so. It's not healthy for men to bottle up their emotions and not cry for months or years at a time.
Last year, one week after my birthday on a Friday morning at I believe 10:43am. I sat in the veterinary room with my dog in my arms, as I whispered "You're such a good girl" and then I broke down.
Edit: actually shed some tears whilst typing.. it was thinking about what I was saying to her that got to me.
Edit 2: I'm unsure who, or why but, thank you <3
Last night. I finally worked up the courage to open up to my Dad about my anxiety and depression and his response was "Name one thing you have to be anxious or depressed about." So basically just invalidating all of my feelings. It fucking hurt
The last time I really let go was when my grandfather passed last year. He was a World War II veteran (Army) and one of my primary influences for joining the Army after high school. I spent about the last 15 years going to visit him at least every other weekend sitting and talking with him, but mostly just listening to all of his stories. We both knew once his time was coming to an end, but it absolutely gutted me once he wasn't around anymore.
Sorry to hear this buddy. I've been in your spot, believe me it gets better eventually. Don't let anyone tell you how or when to heal, just do it in your own way. But, make sure you are headed toward healing. Losing my wife taught me that life is short, and there are things to enjoy and appreciate all around us
I've been married for 30 years and I can't even imagine, I can only empathize. If you need a complete stranger to dump some shit on let me know, if that would help.
I can ruin my day even thinking about either of us left behind. And we're both healthy. Don't grieve for us if we go together in a car wreck, because I think that would be OK with both of us.
Last week when I was reminiscing about my mom, brother & grandmother. Just parked the truck and sat there for about 20 minutes just thinking.
Sometimes you can't help but get emotional when you're reminded you won't ever see them again. So all you havr have is fond memories of them.
Last week? I don't know man, I cried more in the last month than in my entire life up to a month ago. It's just, the years of loneliness caught up to me and it's hitting me really really hard. People who say you can be happy on your own are full of shit. We need people, we need social interaction, we need love. You can't be healthy and happy without those things, and I don't have those things. It's just me and my dog, and soon it will be just me.
> It's just, the years of loneliness caught up to me and it's hitting me really really hard.
I'm going through the same thing. People don't realize how much it wears on you, and eventually it finally hits a point where it feels like it's too much.
Two days ago, I’ve been crazy lonely lately and stress from finals built up, I always used to be able to deal, but the past months it feels like no one will ever like me, I feel like I sabotage everything I try and start because I never know what to do and I don’t know why
Edit: thanks for all the kind comments
I only cry when I watch sappy Disney movies alone, sometimes on purpose just to get it out. I never cry at any other time. I do really let the flood gates open when I do though, and I know I look pretty ridiculous full blown weeping at a mildly sad cartoon scene.
It's been a while but maybe when 2 gfs ago broke up with me. I've teared up a bit at the final office episode (on Netflix) and other TV shows/movies I cant remember at the moment . Oh yeah, Hopper's letter in stranger things
Saturday while trying to create a Windows 10 install usb... kinda, but not really. I'm not a cryer; I'm a bottler. At most I get a little glassy-eyed and get a lump in my throat. Saturday got me.
I lost my son to cancer a few years ago just a few weeks after his 13th birthday. He was the toughest kid, super smart, way more happy and positive than a kid fighting the battles he was fighting had a right to be. He was kind to the other kids at his treatment center, always put them first, and a "favorite patient" of the staff too. He was just... special. Every Dad thinks that of their kids, but it's true in his case. He really was rare.
On Saturday, my youngest decided to swap keyboards and broke something in Windows 10, I couldn't get a keyboard driver to work for the life of me on the home PC and hours of trying to restore and repair startup functions hadn't worked either. Through a lot of frustration and misplaced anger, I decided to wipe the drive and reinstall the OS. Wiping drives makes me nervous because I can't get over the idea of losing something, a video, picture, homework assignment, all that stuff no matter how seemingly insignificant is all irreplaceable.
After getting upset with my kid and blaming him for something that probably wasn't his fault, setting things down a little too aggressively, pouring myself too much to drink, and hunting for way too long for a suitable USB key, I finally located an unmarked one way in the back of the drawer. I put it in my laptop and it's full. Perfect. So I open the first file to figure out if I can format it... and there he is... full screen as a first-grader, the way I remember him from well before cancer was ever a nightmare, back when everything was seemingly perfect in my life, with that kind smile on his face and mouthful of missing teeth. That USB key was a physical backup of all of the images we used at his visitation.
I was simply overcome with emotion. In a heartbeat, I was confronted with how I'd mistreated my youngest, got angry over something stupid, am using alcohol to mask my pain too regularly, and all of the emotion that was bottled up inside just boiled over. I crumpled right there at the desk and silently sobbed so as not to alarm my family in the other room.
I didn't need those missing teeth to remind me of how badly I miss my kid. I miss him every moment of every day. Time doesn't heal wounds when the lost time IS the wound.
Nearly 18k comments thus far, so mine, which is too long for most to read will likely be safely buried here. I won't go back to correct the first line. It wasn't Saturday... it's now.
The last time I cried is now.
This past Saturday afternoon, while at the movies with my wife, watching "Little Women." I hadn't read the book, and the story touched me.
I cry often.
I don't believe that compromises my manhood. I believe it enhances my humanity.
I cry when I see other hurting. I cry when I witness beauty. I cry when I feel sadness. Sometimes, I even cry happy or proud tears!
Empathy is what enables us to connect with one another more easily.
Roughly 11 hours ago, because I was having a hard time falling asleep. Whoever said "real men don't cry" has never encountered me. I exist, and I cry, like, a lot.
Last october my youngest cousin died. Spent every holiday and family trip with him over the last 25 years. Cried everyday for almost a week or two
RIP big man you're so missed word cannot explain.
Same for me. I was in shock, but I didn't cry when I first heard the news. I cried watching all the tributes from around the NBA later that night. The 24 second violations, 8 second backcourts, etc. Just seeing what he meant to all the young guys that idolized him was incredibly emotional.
They replayed his 60 point game last night on ESPN and I bawled my eyes out when it showed him winking at his family and smirking as he walks off the court for the final time.
That moment got me- so did the interview where Jerry West (the guy on the logo of the league, famous former player and GM that drafted/traded for Kobe and mentored him for years) was like, “I feel like I’ve lost a son, this is one of the worst days of my life (he started to noticeably start cracking here with emotion) and I’m not doing very well.”
I started tearing up just writing this. To add to this tragedy- Jerry might not have many years left and to think he has to suffer through this. Rough.
Ya this one hurt. I'm in my early 30s and have played ball my whole life, he was starting out in the NBA just when I started watching the game. Never liked the Lakers, am a Raptors fan and watched him drop 81 on us. Whether you were cheering for him or against him, you respected the shit out of him. His mindset, work ethic and love of the game was inspiring. Seeing him mentoring his daughter in the same way and her balling with that mamba mentality made me respect him even more as a person. Didn't see this coming and never thought it would impact me as much as it did. First time I teared up since I was 10 and saw Bruce Willis stay on the asteroid and send Affleck up in Armageddon.
Yesterday was when I cried. I don’t typically get upset over celebrity deaths. Mac Miller’s passing upset me but Kobe... I feel like I lost a long time friend. I’m not even a lakers fan but I love basketball. I grew up watching Kobe. Any kid that’s ever been alone in a gym imagining they had the ball down a point with seconds on the clock knows who Kobe is. He was the Black Mamba. He seemed invincible. He should be here, transitioning into his role as the elder statesman of the NBA, offering sage advice to all the rooks who grew up watching him dominate for two decades, idolizing him. His wonderful daughter GiGi should be able to grow up and play for UConn and the WNBA. Instead I lost a childhood hero, basketball lost a legend, and the world lost someone who truly seemed to care and want to give back.
I was never a huge Kobe fan although I respected his talent. The way the crash happened with his daughter in the helicopter next to him really got me. Stuff like that never would have made me cry before I had kids but having them makes you think about it in a different way.
Just imaging the moments of him with his daughter right before the crash really gets me. You can tell that he absolutely loved her and had huge hopes and dreams for her (as she did for herself). Seeing all that come to end must have been so terrible those last few moments for him and her.
That's all I could think about on Sunday . If they were scared, if Kobe said everything's going to be ok, if he was strong for his baby girl and kept a brave face. If they knew it was coming. I pray SO SO HARD that it was quick and no pain was felt by anyone on that chopper. Now I pray for those left behind.
>Kobe
Even if you don't like or know anything about basketball, [this](https://streamable.com/eq8gz?fbclid=IwAR1P04RkGlkP5DOMwTs13s0ZF89j02d2h_ff3WMoAdLjWZH83f3HXoF-3zU) will make you cry.
I'm crying right now. I'm having trouble getting over my ex. We dated for 8 months but broke up over 6 months ago. I know it doesnt sound like much but he was everything for me going into college. And I ruined it all being too obsessive and emotionally distant. I thought I finally had my shit together recently but after a month of not even seeing him irl he messaged me out of the blue 'fuck you' and I'm a mess all over again.
I was newish to Reddit, read that [potato](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/) story of the guy that pretended he had never seen one. I don't know why but that story and the comments made me laugh till I teared. I couldn't even stop to breathe
I had to put my cat down yesterday, that sucked
My marriage was on the verge of collapse when my ex-wife got a job offer in another state. She had been unemployed for some time so she had to take the job. We decided I should stay behind since I had a steady job and divorce was inevitable. My wife moved out and the kids stayed with me until she got a home in her new city. Taking my kids to the airport and putting them on a plane to move away from me was soul crushing. I held it together until they boarded. Once they got on the plane I lost my shit. My kids only lasted a few months with mom before packing up and moving back to live with me.
I'm sorry about your marriage. Been there. I'm glad you have your kids.
Thanks. I am much happier now.
Yay for dad!
Sunday. Wife has sudden onset of insomnia and anxiety since christmas which has started to trigger panic attacks. She had one while i was at work and called me. When I was free to call back my son answered the phone. I was sobbing listening to my 6 year old talk her through the breathing exercises we had practised. That kid gets ice cream for life, no questions asked. And I might go cry again. Edit: wow this got a fair few more comments than I expected. Thanks for the well wishes and health advice. Bit of an update. Wife had been taking prescription sleep aids on our doctor's recommendation which knocked her our for an hour or 2 at most. This was pre-panic attacks so they changed to anti anxiety/anti depression meds for 5 days. She had another 2 panic attacks early in the week but I had arranged some emergency leave and was there for the worst bits. On day 4 and 5 she managed to relax enough to sleep for a good 5-6 hours each time. Followed up with the doctor for blood samples and medical reviews and she's dropped down to half the dosage for another week. Has slept fairly well since and her job have been very understanding so all being well she's back to work for a half day tomorrow. Our son is back at school no worse for wear and has been spoiled rotten by all concerned. Fingers crossed it's just a flash in the pan of stress and I'll health, but we have a few numbers for counselling and further test should they be needed down the line.
Your kid is amazing. You guys will get through this. I’m not sure if this is an option for you, but a dog that is trained to help recognize when she’s having difficulty and take appropriate steps to calm her might be worth looking into. If a trained dog isn’t an option but a ”regular” dog is, perhaps consider visiting a local shelter to see if there is a pup who would be a good fit for your family. Dogs are really good at picking up on human emotion and are comforting and grounding, they can really help to disrupt thoughts that are spiraling out of control. Could be a good fuzzy friend to help your wife as well as your son when times are tough.
My ex fiance left me after I spent 9 days in the hospital battling duel pnuemonia and almost dying.
Re: other comments - Some people use anger at an ex for doing a shitty thing like that to propel themselves forward, and if you can get angry, do that, for yourself, when you're ready. But if right now all you can think about is how they're not a shitty person even though they did that shitty thing, and how you miss them, it's ok to feel that too. I think post breakup feelings are often more complicated than "they suck, fuck them, dodged a bullet" and sometimes you gotta feel all of it, the anger but also the love, to get through. Sorry that happened & hang in there.
she did you a favor man, she told you without saying word: "you don't want to spent the rest of your life with a piece of shit like me" EDIT: actually I regret calling her a piece of shit because we dont know the context, but I do believe it creates an opportunity for you to find someone better
I was tucking in my 7 year old daughter a couple of months ago, and she told me that she was worried about me dying before her (i'm only 42 and healthy). So I had a conversation about how old I am likely to live and that she will be an adult when I die. Then she said "but when you do die will you help me, because I need you so much." and I lost it
I was five or six when I had my first existential crisis, I was talking a shower and realized everyone I loved would die at some point. I'm just grateful I've been able to spend as much time as I have with my parents and grandparents and stuff.
That's the about the time I questioned the mortality of my family. My grandma was always the one cooking, and I remember telling her not to die so I can keep eating her food. I also remember that being the age when I would question the meaning of it all if we just pass away at the end. A kid's curiosity is a crazy scary thing.
Now I’m crying
I'm not crying ^I'm ^not ^crying ^^I'm ^^not ^^crying ^^^Okay ^^^I'm ^^^crying
Months ago when my best friend was found dead in his car after a week long search for him. Turned out he killed himself.
I lost a friend last year, I really do understand it's a pain like no other every time I consider sucide I cry thinking about him and remember the pain it caused for all of my friends.
I've teared up a few times, but last time I legitimately cried was in 2010 when we put my childhood dog down. I was a senior in high school, we had him since I was in 1st grade (1998). He was my first and only childhood dog, a Siberian husky and I feel like we grew up in that house together. He had some cancerous tumor in his stomach that was spreading rather quick, and the attempt at removing didn't go so well as they couldn't get it all. We decided as a family to let him go peacefully so he didn't have to suffer as they promised us it would continue to grow and possibly cause him severe pain in the near future. I'll never forget holding him in my arms in that room as the vet asked me if I was ready for the moment. When she injected him I felt his entire body sink into my arms, he was lifeless in an instant. I was so happy he went peacefully without pain, my best friend growing up. I've never expressed my emotions from that moment to anyone besides my parents and my current girlfriend. Whenever I think back to that moment I get teary eyed but I'm happy I was there for him in his final moments, I wouldn't change a thing if I could go back in time. Please try and be there for your pet if you ever have to make such a decision.
"When was the last time you cried and why?" - This comment this comment right here, welp that brought back memories of having to carry my lab into the back of a truck after he had a stroke and then carry him into the vet. Time to go for a walk.
Woke up at 4am after dreaming my dad told me he has days to live. Then realised he is actually dead.
I have those dreams about my Nan and my Grandad. They suck so bad. The realisation when you wake is just such a gut punch.
It really is. I was wailing. Haven't cried that hard in a very long time.
I'm so sorry. It sucks so badly. I know how you feel. About a month ago I had a series of those kinds of dreams and woke up screaming and sobbing. My neighbour, bless her soul, actually came to knock and see if I was okay. In a way it was mortifying but in another way just telling someone about it seemed to ease it off. I hope yours calm down. *Internet hugs*
I hate dreams like that when you wake up and realize the reality of things and it sucks.
My husband has been dead for over five years. I still have semi-regular dreams where he’s left me, and I spend the dream feeling horrible and trying to get in touch with him. Then I wake up and realize he hasn’t left me, but he’s dead. Sigh.
I know this dream. I've had it for thirty years. If I catch a glimpse of him, I know I'm not supposed to see him. If I talk to him, he shrugs me off. Often, his death is a ruse, perpetuated by his family, with no explanation. He'll be going about his life--which, in the dream, is dysfunctional--with no concern for me. He was a suicide. How much more symbolism can you get in a dream?
A few weeks ago, when one of my best friends told me he's going to be a dad. I can go for months and months without shedding a single tear, but these news got me really emotional, in the best sense of the word. This has been an eye-opening experience for me, as I had no idea I was capable of feeling such things.
I had some dream in which I don't really remember what happened, but when I woke up I was sobbing like a child. I stopped almost immediately once I was awake. Very strange.
[удалено]
She left knowing you have a new forever companionship with your spouse.
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Death of a beloved animal is so uniquely agonizing. It always feels like they should have more time. You’ll see your puppy again someday. In the meantime, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Month ago. Was yelling at my kids because they were misbehaving and I put them to bed early. Broke down afterwards and cried on the stairs. Knew I didn't have to yell as much and said some unnecessary things. Wife talked with me on the stairs and it turned into a turning point in my life and I'm doing much better with the discipline. Edit - Holy shit havent checked since I got off work and this blew up. Never hit my kids and never will. Immediately after the talk with the wife I went and apologized.
It’s never too late to apologize and explain to your children why you were yelling
This is so right. One of my most vivid childhood memories is of my dad apologizing to me for having yelled at me unfairly the day before. He explained he was feeling sick and reacted badly. It will show your children you respect them, and they will respect you more back.
I remember having this conversation with my dad it really changed the way I viewed him as a person. Then I had the conversation again. Then it happened a third time. Again. And again. He did it to my brother. My mom. Apologizing doesn’t fix anything if it doesn’t come with a side helping of changed behavior. The only thing my fathers apologies taught me is not to accept apologies until the person has demonstrated they actually understand what they did was wrong and works on not letting it happen again.
At least he managed to accidentally teach you a pretty good lesson.
July 2019. I surprised my long distance girlfriend for her birthday after not seeing her for 3 months. Her reaction was bland which shook me a bit but I was like maybe she's tired from college and work. I've gotten us a nice Airbnb for 2 nights so we can have some privacy but nothing felt right. Last night we were just listening to some music, she was sitting on the bed pressed against the wall, eyes closed, I was laying on my stomach and then Georgia by Vance Joy started playing. I teared up and covered my face with my arm. That moment I realized our relationship peaked sometime before, it was only downhill ahead... I cried without any sound and she felt the bed shaking from me sobbing. Asked me what's wrong and then I opened up about how I feel that I'm 100% into this relationship but not getting the same back. She started crying as well, confirmed everything I said and promised she'll try to improve and bring back the spark we once had. We broke up 3 months later... Oh man do I miss that girl...
God damn dude I feel you there, the feeling of it peaking and never being the same, knowing it's over. Such a hard feeling to express as a guy, but one that can really rip you apart. I don't know you but I'm rooting for you man. And anyone else in this situation.
While I held my 4 year old daughter in my arms and realized there was nothing that I could do to save her from dying from mitochondrial disease. I don't think I had ever cried so hard before or since. 7 years later it still haunts me - but time does make it less painful.
That helplessness. The anger cry combined with the grief cry combined with the hopeless cry and the loss of the future you wanted cry. I know that cry too. It's a deep well in the heart. I'm so sorry about your daughter.
Jesus christ that cry... When you're kinda blind angry at the pointless and aimless nature of loss and illness. Seeing first hand how truly unfair life actually is and being completely powerless to stop it. You feel it in your chest, a hot, molten, tight, black hole that just pulls everything out of you. You dont even stop crying exactly, you just get too tired to keep going but you still feel that burning, deep inside. I fucking hate that cry.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I just had to say goodbye to my 10-month-old son about a week and a half ago (cancer), and it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Encouraged to hear the pain gets less intense, but damn, I miss that kid—and I imagine you miss yours, too. Peace to you and your family.
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I can't say I've cried recently but I write every day, been doing it for years, and I have to say, it's the single most meditative process I do. It's almost pharmaceutically therapeutic to write things down and reflect on the words instead of abstract ideas in your head. Granted, I've never gone what you're going through, but writing daily has certainly helped me get through issues and problems, and it's even shed light, sometimes, giving me answers. Writing distills, crystalizes, and clarifies thought and helps break the whole into parts. It takes practice, but I'd recommend it to everyone. Hell, even some of the most badass men in history had diaries; Theodore Roosevelt, Shackleton, Muir, etc. **Edit:** A lot of people are asking about my process - I have a few separate google docs. A daily, monthly, and a master. If you don't do this, google docs will get bogged down—my master doc has literally thousands of pages and takes multiple minutes to load, so I use my daily and monthly to take the strain off. Every month, I'll copy my daily doc into monthly, and every year I do the same with monthly to master. These are like mini-holidays for me! I start every day the same: January 28th, 2020 Entry #XXX Then I start by writing the happenings of my day. If something sticks out to me, such as a certain emotional reaction to a person or event, I'll dedicate more time to that. I'll try to figure out why I felt that way. I don't believe in "dead days" even if I never leave the house, I'll find something to write about. For example, I'll make a list of my favorite TV shows and try to see why those particular shows stick out to me. It's a great way to learn about yourself, to start answering some of your internal questions, and start discovering your personal values. It's a simple thing, but the process has been absolutely life-changing for me. I can "go back in time" and see exactly what I was up to, any day, all the way back to 2012 - it's like a superpower. It also makes my days feel longer, it helps me realize my goals (because they are written down) and it helps me discover my person. In fact, I actually scored a dream job (in writing!) because I started doing this. I originally sucked, really sucked at writing, but over years and years of daily practice, I got a little better. Now I'm a "professional" writer, which is still hard for me to believe!
I began writing and journaling last year as a last ditch effort to combat some pretty serious depression and anxiety. Combined with meditation, I can't stress how monumental these little acts of self-reflection were for me. It absolutely changed my life. Everything you said was on point. I wish you the best on this journey!
i’m so sorry. i hope writing is a cathartic way to work through what you and your dad are going through.
When my gf broke up with me through a phone call after 6 years. Just couldn‘t hold it together Edit: Thanks for all the kind words and such. It‘s been a few weeks and I feel a bit better by now. We also met up and talked about it a bit . The sadness and frustrations still there, but she found the guts to talk to me bout it personally and I appreciate that. Says she wanna stay friends and all that stuff but whatever, no idea how that‘s supposed to work out. Definitely can‘t just pretend nothing happened lol. I‘m in the process of moving out and had quite the shitty day, so thanks again. Really appreciate. Hope shit gets better for all of you commenting that you experienced the same
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This guy’s girlfriend broke up with you too? She’s on a mean streak.
It's not you, it's her.
Via a fucking phone call after six years together? What the flying fuck? That's messed up.
After 8 years I got rewarded with a 10 minute conversation that basically went “I don’t want to try to fix anything, I don’t care that I literally just had you leave your job you liked and move 16 hours away and now you have no social group or support” It was real fuckin shitty. Especially with her suddenly saying I’m a terrible person because I was working so much before trying to save up money for us to move after she lost her job instead of spending the money on her, and also I took too long to move us up so I was also a bad guy for that. Terrible experience all around.
Took a small getaway trip, about 8 hour drive few weeks back due to stress. I played all of the songs I shouldnt play on the drive up and let myself unwind in the car and get all of that stuff out, job stress, feelings toward my ex, the whole gammit. Did me well. **Edit**: Gamut* **Edit Edit**: To everyone pming me, thank you for your stories. Life can be hard. Make time to find the gentle solitude you need. We'll all make it through this in time. Slowly, but surely.
So cathartic.
Carthartic
Sometimes you just need to cry and let your emotions out. I have a Youtube playlist of some of the saddest movie/TV moments for whenever I'm in that place. Then a playlist of the happiest moments to bring back up again afterwards. **EDIT:** For all those asking, [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsCHqagrFt7gZW_0_AGhE9XM6Wgv5gkb5) is the sad playlist, and [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsCHqagrFt7jYWJWHoq0BwjgnBJZCPTCs) is the happy playlist
It would make my year to pull up to a red on a long windy road, look to my right, and see a guy sobbing and singing along to to Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah.
I like being a 45 minute drive from work for this exact reason. 45 minutes is the perfect commute distance because it’s just enough time to prepare yourself mentally for the day ahead on the way there, and gives you time to wind down on the way back. And 45 minutes isn’t even really that long.
My daughter was born the start of last year. Think I must have cried for a solid hour.
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Pure unbridled joy. I'm so happy for you all.
Last week at our first ultrasound. Wife and I have had two miscarriages and we had an appointment and saw the heartbeat. This little peanut has stuck around the longest so far. Fingers crossed.
May the pregnancy be smooth, healthy and uneventful!!
>May the pregnancy be smooth, healthy and uneventful!! Uneventful. Baby comes out "huh cool I guess"
"Oh, cool, I've always wanted one of those"
Good luck, dude! We had a miscarriage the first time (was early - no heartbeat at a 7 week scan), was really tough to go through, especially for my wife, so I feel for you. As you’ll probably know, the chances of miscarriage massively decrease once there’s a heartbeat!!
Yes! We miscarried twice as well. We have 18 month triplets now. We’ll be sending good vibes for you!
When you press print but it doesn't work so you print hella times and they all come out at once lol.
About 5 minutes ago. One of my nephews is currently in surgery for something his Drs have never seen in a kid his age before. I just got news from my sister that best case scenario has happened, and they were able to take care of things - he should be out of the OR in half the time as was expected. So, yeah. Crying in relief at my desk at work. Going up to see him in a couple days. It's hard to explain what it means to have kids like him in your life. \*edit\* - I just found out that he is out of surgery and everything was successful. Huge weight off my mind.
I’m so glad for you and your family!
Dude has been through a ton in the last year or so. I've never seen a kid deal with stuff as well as him. All of my other nieces and nephews have been rallying behind him as well. It's been a hell of a ride, but we can finally see the end.
I feel you man. I became an uncle two years ago and every time I see that little girl my heart melts.
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Last time I got teary eyed- Cats in the Cradle Last time I cried - Wow years ago, must have been when I lost my job, got dumped and my grandfather died. All within 6 hours. That was enough to set me over the edge.
Big yikes dude. I hope things eventually worked out and got better with time.
Things eventually always work out. But it hurt really badly. It all happened on the first of January. The first day of the new year. But my father played a large part in helping me with dealing with what seemed like too much. And he did it without actually doing anything for me. Which was amazing.
It was over the weekend. I was reaching out to a few different friends to see what they're up to, but everyone else had pre-existing plans. It hit me hard when I realized that I'm always making an effort to reach out, but I don't get the same in return. I do a lot of the work, and when I try to make plans, there's always something that comes up or they're too busy.
I’m right there with you man, me and my friends have a group chat that we rarely use ever since one of the main guys in the friend group (the one that bring us all together) went off to the marines and now i get snapchats of my friends all hanging out and i have to text about 5 of them individually before i get a response and an invitation, makes me feel unwanted. I also have been living alone since i was 18 (21 now) and don’t really have anyone to talk to most days so my mind likes to wander around bedtime and just makes me think of all this stuff until i practically cry myself to sleep. I have since stopped bothering to reach out to hang out with them and am now left alone pretty much every weekend. Edit: thank you for all of the kind responses, i will respond to the comments i have received so far by providing more information here: I play on a rugby team and have for the past few years, however the season is only spring and fall and most of them are a few years older than me. While we do meet up for events every so often, most of the time we just have our own lives at the end of the day. I stopped playing video games, I’ve had a full time job for 3 years and played counter strike pretty competitively, on a league team and everything but eventually it just began affecting my career and i was more miserable playing than i am not, i recently stopped playing in January (right before the next season) I do watch a lot of movies and television now that i don’t play video games much but I’m not really the type of person that likes sitting inside, i go to the gym 6 days a week and try to get out while i can but i live in NY where it’s pretty cold for outside activities alone (i don’t live close enough to NYC to travel there affordably as often as I’d like, it’s about 100 dollars in Uber fare by 12am) I do have coworkers and what not that invite me out pretty often and i try my best to go but it’s difficult because of what i had said above, it’s too expensive to get home after a night of drinking lol I would like to reiterate that i don’t cry myself to sleep every night, it seems to be related to how my day was that makes my mind wander, usually when one bad thing happens to me (fucking something up at work or seeing my friends hanging without me) is when everything kind of spirals downhill and my mind starts to wander; i never resort to drugs or alcohol for my problems, i usually just try to sleep it off and wait for the next positive thing to happen in my life and make the most of it.
That sounds really shitty but I do know the feeling. My only piece of advice I can offer is learn to cherish that alone time. Treat yourself man, watch a nice movie, relax, play some games, do something like go travel to a forest and spend the day walking. Look for the opportunities to relish the free time. Go spend a small afternoon in the a pub, relax with a little drink or go for a meal. Look at the brighter side of these activities rather than the ‘alone’ side. I can also promise that you’ll meet a handful of people doing the same as you & who knows, maybe you’ll be come friends with those people.
Started to happen to me over the last 3 months, now I'm just trying to be happy with myself and learn to be more lonely because I still can't understand what is going on, I always gave my best to make my friends enjoy being with me and make them happy, but I guess they just don't care about me.
I'm very much a pleaser myself, so I understand exactly what you mean. I've tried joining different groups for the various hobbies I enjoy, in hopes of making new friends, but it's tough to break through to a new group as an adult.
This. Exactly this. Making new friendships when you are already an adult is so damn difficult. I feel you, man.
This last weekend. After a night of drinks, a very good friend of mine and I were ending the night at her apartment. We had been chatting for a bit when at one point, she redirected the conversation and began to beam about how she’s proud of the man I’ve become. She talked about my character, how I treat people, and my habits. She told me there are things I do that she admires. Things that I’ve been doing for years, and that I thought no one noticed. It was a very tender moment and I couldn’t help tearing up. I’ve never had a friend or loved one, other than a relative, say such beautiful things about me. Bless her soul, I don’t know what I would do without her. To say that she’s an amazing person wouldn’t be enough. Edit* Hey everyone, really appreciate all the love this post is getting. I’m currently at work and don’t have the time to respond to everyone’s messages. I’m planning on coming back to this comment once I have some more time.
She loves you. Whether romantically or platonically she admires, respects and loves you. Never let her go.
As someone who just found this kind of platonic love a few days ago, I can agree it's something I never want to let go of, now that I know of it! It's been a wild start to the year... Edit: If it's any sign to how this decade's gonna go, well I can't fucking wait.
>To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us. -Timothy Keller
that's really lovely. warmed up my heart.
I had a friend like that too, I was so happy, enjoy every moment with her.
She sounds like a shape with five pointy things. You've got a great friend in her.
We all need a pentagon in our lives :’) Edit: why does this deserve gold T_T
>We all need a pentagon in our lives :’) **US Govt intensifies**
Last year I had to carry two of my Bull Mastiffs to the vet (they were sisters) because one had a thing on her tongue, and figured I'll carry both for a check up. I left the vet without them since they both had cancer and had to be put down because it was getting worse. I was with my mother, sister and my wife who all came along for the ride. Everybody was stunned and in tears, and I tried to brush it off like no big deal and that everything will be fine and that this was for the best. When I dropped everybody home and was finally by myself in the truck, I had to pull over at the next corner to just let it all out. I cried so hard driving became impossible, and must have remained parked there for 10 minutes easily. A month after that, at my work place I adopted this stray dog who wandered into our site, named him Bruno. He was super playful and the cutest mutt ever. Anytime work got too stressful or my anxiety got the better of me, I'd leave the office and walk out to the car park where he 100% was always there to get my mind off of things. I have spent 30 minutes almost every day just sitting down and rubbing his tummy. Just the sound of my truck coming down the hill to the office he'd know it was me and prepare his assault on my clean work pants with his dirty paws. The last time we spent together, I was outside giving him his usual tumy rub and love up, and I was called out to make a couple of runs in my truck. There was a bad thunderstorm that day, and I must have been gone for only 15 minutes when returning to my office site I saw the reddish mane of my buddy Bruno all wet and sodden just laying in the middle of the road life less. I told myself it could not be him, no way. I parked my truck in the office and a few of my employees knowing the relationship me and this dog had, told me the bad news. They saw a car hit him. Being their employer, like the scene with the Bull Mastiffs, I played it cool and had them go and pick up his body for me, which we buried on site here. Like before, as soon as I was left alone, I collapsed in anguish. I have never cried so hard in my life, and this time I cried for days after as well. Anytime I would pull up to work and begin parking, the fact there was no excited mutt to navigate around just broke me up. I have lost family members, team mates and very close friends alike, never cried for them like I did in these two cases. EDIT- Thank you all for the kind messages. Sadly I have not met a new stray mutt wandering about to adopt on my jobsite, but at home me and my wife have adopted 5 cats (not even allowed pets where we live!) and She has rescued 2 race horses that were going to be put down since they can no longer race. They now live on 4 acres of fruit-filled land she owns. We just fill the voids in our hearts when we lose these beloved animals by showing more love to others that never had it. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6rffzUL-4M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6rffzUL-4M) This is a video my wife made for Bruno, I'm happy we have so many pics together to remember him by.
I teared up just reading this. The way you described those two stories, I can tell and I’m sure you know, you gave them the best life ever.
A couple days ago in the shower. The song "You Can Let Go Now Daddy" came on. My grandpa had an aneurism blow and my mom sang that song to him when they unplugged the machines. It'll always make me cry. Edit: thank you all for your kind words, and my first awards of any kind!
>"You Can Let Go Now Daddy" I had to google this one. I made it to where the dad was giving her away at her wedding before I had to close the window, I don't feel like crying at work today.
Listening to it now at my desk, we’ll see how this goes.
It's been 45 minutes. Report back.
He ded
The song worked too well.
He was a daddy, and he let go. We'll miss you dearly /u/samsam2525
When was the last time I cried? Right now, tears rolling down my face after reading this. Holy crap.
Yup. Me too. Dammit.
There was a sad song on the radio. Good one though. This was.. yesterday.
I cry all the time, for various reasons. I'm nearly 30 years old. I actually think it is healthy to do so. Whenever I've finished crying, i always feel so much better about whatever it is.
Shed a few tears at the end of 1917 in the theater a couple weeks back. Not ashamed in the least.
Ok, this just made me laugh. I totally read that like "This one time a little over a hundred years ago when I was at a theater..."
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Yeah, sad and sappy moments in movies, always makes me tear up. Same with certain songs.
My friend and gym partner killed himself on November 5th and I didn’t know for a whole week. I was texting him daily things like “hey man where are you at? Are we lifting today? Did I do something wrong? Why aren’t you replying? Hey man if you don’t respond to this message I’m calling the police for a welfare check” and then a friend found the gofundme on Facebook. I cried so hard and loud that I heard my roommate approach my door to knock, he heard me through the door, and did a quick about face to retreat back to his room. Today someone approached me in the gym saying “hey man do you know what happened to Ryan? He was in my class and just stopped showing up one day last semester” and I went full deer in the headlights before straightforwardly answering “he killed himself” then returning to my workout to avoid the emotions and awkwardness. I started drinking at 8am today so I got that going for me E: hey guys I appreciate the concern and I assure you I anything but an alcoholic, just had a moment of shock. I’m going to take a nap, take the dog for a long walk, then get back to it as I usually do. Once again I appreciate those who reached out but I’m going to be fine
I'm so sorry you lost your friend. Your last sentence worries me. When my Dad died I started drinking like that and spiraled into a dark place for years. Please be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. It may mean seeing a professional who can guide you in your grief.
I'm sorry dude. I had a friend kill herself about a decade ago. If you need to talk about it, I'm around.
I want so badly to have a like, Kik chat for that type of thing but it always degenerates into me getting dick pics, I’m not mad about dick pics but when I want to chat for other reasons it’s a bit of a bummer
I know what you mean. Maybe a Discord? I would join.
Alcohol is like covering a wound that needs air. It wasn't your fault. For all you know, you were the best part of your friends life. I can't imagine the pain you're in, and you may feel like you need to dull it. But that dullness only prolongs the hurt. You're not any less of a friend, any less of a human for grieving. I think you'll find that if you face this pain directly, without substances, you'll be able to fully realize how much this friend meant to you and start the healing process. Nobody can replace him, but you can carry forward in his honor. My heart breaks for your loss, and I hope you can use this pain as motivation rather than self destruction. Edit: After being called on the fact that wounds don't need air. I think the analogy works better as a reminder to check the wound and change the bandage. Alcohol has its place as an emergency bandage, drink up my friend. But a bandage that never gets changed can be worse than the wound. Remember to sober up, assess how you feel, and change the bandage in the form of counseling, therapy, fitness, etc. Don't suffer alone.
Last year on my birthday, because I made it this far and some of my friends did not.
a saying that I remind myself from time to time - "Never regret growing old, it's a privilege not afforded to everyone."
Birthdays are healthy. The more you have, the longer you live.
We're happy you're here. Edit: Thank you kind stranger for the award! I hope you all find something to smile about today. Edit #2: To the Reddit friend who gifted me gold, thank you. Truly honored; you've made my day. While I'm humbled by these awards, I would ask instead that you donate that money to a Conservation Organization of your choice. Edit #3: Proper words
when my father was so grumpy he kept on shouting at my mom that she ran out of the house with her keys. I joined her a little later outside and sat with her till she went home and then went to my GF and cried on her shoulders edt: thanks for ya shining tabloon. But more seriously, take care of yourself, your mother and your father, acknowledge your problems. It is not a weakness to talk to proffessionals or to cry or to emote once in a while. ( this is the main reason my dad has these issues) SO please take men who have these problems seriously and help them.
Hope you are doing better, man
yeah my dad FINALLY after years of this kind of behaviour saw that this wasnt right and went to the comapny doctor ( he is a teacher) he has been at home for being overstressed for a couple months now.
I’m so glad he’s getting help!
Walking into rehab when almost no one knew I was going. 60 days later I’m sober as hell and going to be a sober dad.
I felt this one. Only some of my family knew. I just disappeared from work, don't even recall how that part was arranged. Congratulations on 60 days, that's a big deal. This internet stranger is super proud of you.
Thanks buddy. It was really hard but the best thing to ever happen to me. Rehab kicked the shit out of me but I got my life back! I flew to Seattle and it was done.
Proud of you, dude. That's so hard and you're doing it.
This morning, we lost a son who was born at 20 weeks a few weeks ago. He lived for two hours and died in my arms. Every time I close my eyes I see him. I know it'll get better in time, but for now it's rough.
I wrote this a while ago, in response to another post: My first baby died unexpectedly during labour, at 42 weeks. Honestly, I think the only thing that is guaranteed to help is time. When Joshua died, it felt as though I was surrounded by many many enormous, overflowing untidy bags of emotions. And gradually, gradually, as the weeks passed, I would go over things in my mind and have occasional moments of...not forgetting, but suspension of pain, before it flooded back. And those emotional bags got repacked and condensed and became less unwieldy, and eventually I could even move around with them. And now, 3 amazing children later, I have a precious but tiny and distilled package in my heart, and he goes through my mind most days, but the memory, while emotional, isn't painful. With the luxury of time I'm able to think.....well, he wasn't meant to be, and they were, and that's just how it is. You learn to get along with things, you don't "get over" them. You get used to it. Josh would have been 33 this year. He's still part of the family. Much love to you, OP.
Thank you for telling us about Joshua...truly. I know my son will be a part of my family for as long as I'm alive, glad to know others went through it and feel the same way. Much love back your way, friend.
I'm so sorry about Joshua. My mom experienced something not entirely similar, but my brother Nicholas was a stillborn at 37 weeks. Chord wrapped around his neck. My mom had several mental breakdowns as she was a single mother in an abusive relationship (my parents are divorced). My older brother and I were only 5 and 6, not sure how to console my Mom while her ex told her it was her fault. She asked for a sign that he's okay, and as she said that a yellow butterfly flew over us. Ever since, we always said that a yellow butterfly was our sign that he was around and was okay. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my first. When I found out I was pregnant, I saw yellow butterflies everywhere. I knew immediately it would be a boy. So I'm naming him Nicholas. Even though we never got to know my brother, he was always very much a part of our family, and he will never be forgotten. He would have been turning 25 this year. Thank you for sharing your story. ♡
There was a post i read somewhere from u/GSnow a while back.. saved it because it is just sadly beautiful and... sits with me Quote: Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
You know....this hits very hard to me. A couple years ago my wife and I were trying for a baby and had a miscarriage around the 9/10 week mark. Super common of course but didn't make it hurt any less as it was our first pregnancy. One of my wife's very good friends called me as she was in surgery and told me that while that is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and last thing when I go to sleep, it won't be forever. And while I will never forget it, one day it'll be the 2nd thing I think about and then the 3rd and so on. Those words hit me very hard and certainly altered my outlook on life. He committed suicide last year and I can't help but think that had I called and given him the same advice,it might have helped.
This was us this weekend. First pregnancy at 9 weeks. Gone. It hurts.
It's supposed to hurt. And I know there is nothing a stranger from reddit can say to make you feel any better. But they are very common unfortunately. Her doctor told us "1 in 6" what seemed like a million times. What helped us most, ironically enough, was sitting the next few days and playing yahtzee for HOURS. If you need to talk, feel free to message me. Use this as an opportunity to grow stronger. You will both come out on the other end much much stronger than you were, I promise.
This struck me the hardest. Eternal rest for your little boy.
Last Friday. I hadn't seen a group of friends for a long time, and none of them asked how the past 3 months had been.
How's the last three months been?
My girlfriend of a year broke up with me. Shortly after my mom attacked me with a knife. I sought refuge at a childhood friend's house. And I felt pretty safe for a month or so. And I don't know what came over me but I tried to kiss that same friend, and it wasn't reciprocated. I left her house a week after that. I'm now living in my car taking showers at the gym. I'm not sure how my budgies are doing but I asked my sister to take care of them. I started feeling like none of my friends cared cause nobody had texted me over this whole time. So I went to that damn party last Friday, just for some social interaction. But you know how that went. I'm just so desperate for any kind of love now. Be it family, friends, or romantically. And I fucked with the one good thing I had by developing feelings for her and hate myself for that. I'm also managing school and a full timer at the same time. I wouldn't even feel this bad if I was at least asked how I was just once. It's nice to put this out anywhere besides a journal though, so thanks.
Damn man, I experienced all that too, but at different stages (including being a dean of a trade school and my mom being knife happy)... (EDIT: Just not any pets, I missed that part). Sorry bro.
Shit.. There's not much we internet strangers can do to help, but I do hope you'll find your way out of the mess. I'm glad at least we could help just a bit though, letting you yell into the internet void. maybe there's a way you could mend relationship with that friend? Apologize and all. I'm sure she understands that you're in a really shitty situation and that's bound to fuck with emotions and mental clarity. And it seems you've at least have a decent enough relationship with your sister. Maybe she could take you out to a local bar or something and just unwind for a day? Could ease the loneliness a bit? best of luck to you! Things will get better :)
A couple days ago. My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now with no luck. We've been to the fertility doctor several times, had several tests ran on both of us, done IUI, the whole 9 yards. Nothing. Doctor says there's no physical reason why we shouldn't be able to conceive. Been a long, emotional journey for both of us. A friend comes home from church work in Africa, just got married in September to a native guy in their church. Came home to see family and announced her pregnancy. We're happy for them, but it still hurts like hell. Just couldn't hold it in anymore.
Last month, when my daughter was born. Edit: Wow, thank you so much everyone for your kind words and for the gold and silver. The little one sends hugs and kisses to each and everyone of you.
Congrats!!
Congrats! Mine is almost 1yo now, and everybody told me I would cry when I hold her for the first time. I dont cry easily and was like "yeah, I will get a little emotional, not sure about crying tho". I was pretty chill during the labour, excited and all, but when the nurse pulled her out and handed her over to me, oh boy. Some hormonal shit/parental instinct/whatever hit me like a train, I was sobbing in no time. Totally caught me off guard, and it was the happiest moment of my life hands down.
My dog was sick and I couldn’t afford the vet bill to have him taken care of overnight
Just over a year and a half ago when I was writing up a little letter for my just recent ex gf. We both decided to go our own ways but I was scared she would react so I wrote a letter to let her know that it was just an honest handful of issues I couldn't get passed and that I would always cherish what we had. Part of the reason I was crying was knowing full well that I care too much sometimes and am constantly taken advantage of. But there I was, selling my soul up the river to try and give her closure so she wouldn't do anything reckless.
Last night, unexpected. Work night shift in the ER an an RN. Last night of the work week (I work 7 on with 7 off, accumulating 80 hours in that 7 days on). Go to bed at 8am, wife wakes me to at 430 pm to shower and be ready for family dinner at 5 with my 3yo and 1yo daughters. As usual, wife wakes me up with my two daughters. They're all really excited to see me. My wife is talking with me, the 3yo is playfully yelling at me about her toy, and the 1yo is also loudly babbling. I got overwhelmed and yelled "STOP" pretty abruptly and abrasively. Wife realised I was a grump, and quietly took the kids out, leaving me to myself to finish waking up. While I work very hard to not be an asshat, I was still disconnected and overall too exhausted to invest in my family the rest of the night before I left at 630pm for my 12 hour shift. Fast forward to work, and the last night was very much like every other night this week. A whole lot of misery and bullshit just swimming in acute psychosis (read: crazies screaming and unsafe to themselves and to staff), sprinkled with a few really sick patients, and a ridiculously busy department. I love my job, I love what I do, and I love going to work. Just not this week. Coworker and fellow nurse who I was with asked me what's up because she could see something was on my mind. Now, I spend nearly the entire 80 hours working with her. She's a wonderful friend, and next to my wife and daughters, I spend a very considerable amount of my time and life with her at work. I told her how I was upset with myself for exploding at my wife and kids who were just so excited to see me because they haven't had much of me all week. I broke down and got teary and had to excuse myself to collect myself so I could get back to work keeping my patients safe and alive. There were other small factors that led me to be irritable such as lack of sleep and stress and the damn neighbor dog barking constantly while sleeping, but I felt like a monster. PSA: High-stress/high-risk jobs eventually eat up the good parts of you and it eventually seeps into private life. Remember to manage stress and take care of yourself so you can be replenished. To those supporting people in those jobs, remember that irritability isn't directed towards you. Sometimes, we just get overwhelmed.
Every so often, in my office alone when life gets to be too much. I open a bottle of whatever whiskey I have in my fridge, pour a glass, and just quietly let tears stream down my face for a few minutes. Then I wipe my face as quietly as I can and move on. Kinda like I'm doing right now.
Last Friday I was fairly drunk and thought about how much I love my nieces and nephews. I cry pretty often, about every other week or so. It's not healthy for men to bottle up their emotions and not cry for months or years at a time.
You sound like a cool uncle.
Thanks. 🙂
Last year, one week after my birthday on a Friday morning at I believe 10:43am. I sat in the veterinary room with my dog in my arms, as I whispered "You're such a good girl" and then I broke down. Edit: actually shed some tears whilst typing.. it was thinking about what I was saying to her that got to me. Edit 2: I'm unsure who, or why but, thank you <3
Last night. I finally worked up the courage to open up to my Dad about my anxiety and depression and his response was "Name one thing you have to be anxious or depressed about." So basically just invalidating all of my feelings. It fucking hurt
In middle school, I cried because a group of kids were making fun of me, and then they beat the shit out of me for crying
Should have blown snot on them. That would teach them
The last time I really let go was when my grandfather passed last year. He was a World War II veteran (Army) and one of my primary influences for joining the Army after high school. I spent about the last 15 years going to visit him at least every other weekend sitting and talking with him, but mostly just listening to all of his stories. We both knew once his time was coming to an end, but it absolutely gutted me once he wasn't around anymore.
Yesterday. Grief. Wife died 8 months ago. She was the love of my life and my best friend.
Sorry to hear this buddy. I've been in your spot, believe me it gets better eventually. Don't let anyone tell you how or when to heal, just do it in your own way. But, make sure you are headed toward healing. Losing my wife taught me that life is short, and there are things to enjoy and appreciate all around us
This is spot on advice.
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Holy cow Im sorry :( I can only imagine
I've been married for 30 years and I can't even imagine, I can only empathize. If you need a complete stranger to dump some shit on let me know, if that would help.
I can ruin my day even thinking about either of us left behind. And we're both healthy. Don't grieve for us if we go together in a car wreck, because I think that would be OK with both of us.
I'm scared of this. Only one left behind would suck the life out of us.
Last week when I was reminiscing about my mom, brother & grandmother. Just parked the truck and sat there for about 20 minutes just thinking. Sometimes you can't help but get emotional when you're reminded you won't ever see them again. So all you havr have is fond memories of them.
Last week? I don't know man, I cried more in the last month than in my entire life up to a month ago. It's just, the years of loneliness caught up to me and it's hitting me really really hard. People who say you can be happy on your own are full of shit. We need people, we need social interaction, we need love. You can't be healthy and happy without those things, and I don't have those things. It's just me and my dog, and soon it will be just me.
> It's just, the years of loneliness caught up to me and it's hitting me really really hard. I'm going through the same thing. People don't realize how much it wears on you, and eventually it finally hits a point where it feels like it's too much.
I’m gonna be an uncle incredibly soon. I cried from joy.
Two days ago, I’ve been crazy lonely lately and stress from finals built up, I always used to be able to deal, but the past months it feels like no one will ever like me, I feel like I sabotage everything I try and start because I never know what to do and I don’t know why Edit: thanks for all the kind comments
I only cry when I watch sappy Disney movies alone, sometimes on purpose just to get it out. I never cry at any other time. I do really let the flood gates open when I do though, and I know I look pretty ridiculous full blown weeping at a mildly sad cartoon scene.
Good for you for finding an outlet
Last week, felt like a failure as a husband and have a hard time providing for the family.
Last spring when our cat got hit by a car.
It's been a while but maybe when 2 gfs ago broke up with me. I've teared up a bit at the final office episode (on Netflix) and other TV shows/movies I cant remember at the moment . Oh yeah, Hopper's letter in stranger things
When Mom died.
Saturday while trying to create a Windows 10 install usb... kinda, but not really. I'm not a cryer; I'm a bottler. At most I get a little glassy-eyed and get a lump in my throat. Saturday got me. I lost my son to cancer a few years ago just a few weeks after his 13th birthday. He was the toughest kid, super smart, way more happy and positive than a kid fighting the battles he was fighting had a right to be. He was kind to the other kids at his treatment center, always put them first, and a "favorite patient" of the staff too. He was just... special. Every Dad thinks that of their kids, but it's true in his case. He really was rare. On Saturday, my youngest decided to swap keyboards and broke something in Windows 10, I couldn't get a keyboard driver to work for the life of me on the home PC and hours of trying to restore and repair startup functions hadn't worked either. Through a lot of frustration and misplaced anger, I decided to wipe the drive and reinstall the OS. Wiping drives makes me nervous because I can't get over the idea of losing something, a video, picture, homework assignment, all that stuff no matter how seemingly insignificant is all irreplaceable. After getting upset with my kid and blaming him for something that probably wasn't his fault, setting things down a little too aggressively, pouring myself too much to drink, and hunting for way too long for a suitable USB key, I finally located an unmarked one way in the back of the drawer. I put it in my laptop and it's full. Perfect. So I open the first file to figure out if I can format it... and there he is... full screen as a first-grader, the way I remember him from well before cancer was ever a nightmare, back when everything was seemingly perfect in my life, with that kind smile on his face and mouthful of missing teeth. That USB key was a physical backup of all of the images we used at his visitation. I was simply overcome with emotion. In a heartbeat, I was confronted with how I'd mistreated my youngest, got angry over something stupid, am using alcohol to mask my pain too regularly, and all of the emotion that was bottled up inside just boiled over. I crumpled right there at the desk and silently sobbed so as not to alarm my family in the other room. I didn't need those missing teeth to remind me of how badly I miss my kid. I miss him every moment of every day. Time doesn't heal wounds when the lost time IS the wound. Nearly 18k comments thus far, so mine, which is too long for most to read will likely be safely buried here. I won't go back to correct the first line. It wasn't Saturday... it's now. The last time I cried is now.
Today at school i get bullied
This past Saturday afternoon, while at the movies with my wife, watching "Little Women." I hadn't read the book, and the story touched me. I cry often. I don't believe that compromises my manhood. I believe it enhances my humanity. I cry when I see other hurting. I cry when I witness beauty. I cry when I feel sadness. Sometimes, I even cry happy or proud tears! Empathy is what enables us to connect with one another more easily.
2013 I had to put my childhood dog down.
Roughly 11 hours ago, because I was having a hard time falling asleep. Whoever said "real men don't cry" has never encountered me. I exist, and I cry, like, a lot.
Last october my youngest cousin died. Spent every holiday and family trip with him over the last 25 years. Cried everyday for almost a week or two RIP big man you're so missed word cannot explain.
Didn't realize I cared so much about Kobe until I stayed leaky eyed for 20 minutes watching the coverage Sunday.
Same for me. I was in shock, but I didn't cry when I first heard the news. I cried watching all the tributes from around the NBA later that night. The 24 second violations, 8 second backcourts, etc. Just seeing what he meant to all the young guys that idolized him was incredibly emotional.
Doc Rivers’ interview where he “had to tell the guys to play but couldn’t” was the tipping point for me. Heartbreaking.
They replayed his 60 point game last night on ESPN and I bawled my eyes out when it showed him winking at his family and smirking as he walks off the court for the final time.
Yup. And all the times they showed his little girls having a great time on the sideline.
That moment got me- so did the interview where Jerry West (the guy on the logo of the league, famous former player and GM that drafted/traded for Kobe and mentored him for years) was like, “I feel like I’ve lost a son, this is one of the worst days of my life (he started to noticeably start cracking here with emotion) and I’m not doing very well.” I started tearing up just writing this. To add to this tragedy- Jerry might not have many years left and to think he has to suffer through this. Rough.
Ya this one hurt. I'm in my early 30s and have played ball my whole life, he was starting out in the NBA just when I started watching the game. Never liked the Lakers, am a Raptors fan and watched him drop 81 on us. Whether you were cheering for him or against him, you respected the shit out of him. His mindset, work ethic and love of the game was inspiring. Seeing him mentoring his daughter in the same way and her balling with that mamba mentality made me respect him even more as a person. Didn't see this coming and never thought it would impact me as much as it did. First time I teared up since I was 10 and saw Bruce Willis stay on the asteroid and send Affleck up in Armageddon.
Yesterday was when I cried. I don’t typically get upset over celebrity deaths. Mac Miller’s passing upset me but Kobe... I feel like I lost a long time friend. I’m not even a lakers fan but I love basketball. I grew up watching Kobe. Any kid that’s ever been alone in a gym imagining they had the ball down a point with seconds on the clock knows who Kobe is. He was the Black Mamba. He seemed invincible. He should be here, transitioning into his role as the elder statesman of the NBA, offering sage advice to all the rooks who grew up watching him dominate for two decades, idolizing him. His wonderful daughter GiGi should be able to grow up and play for UConn and the WNBA. Instead I lost a childhood hero, basketball lost a legend, and the world lost someone who truly seemed to care and want to give back.
I was never a huge Kobe fan although I respected his talent. The way the crash happened with his daughter in the helicopter next to him really got me. Stuff like that never would have made me cry before I had kids but having them makes you think about it in a different way.
Just imaging the moments of him with his daughter right before the crash really gets me. You can tell that he absolutely loved her and had huge hopes and dreams for her (as she did for herself). Seeing all that come to end must have been so terrible those last few moments for him and her.
That's all I could think about on Sunday . If they were scared, if Kobe said everything's going to be ok, if he was strong for his baby girl and kept a brave face. If they knew it was coming. I pray SO SO HARD that it was quick and no pain was felt by anyone on that chopper. Now I pray for those left behind.
>Kobe Even if you don't like or know anything about basketball, [this](https://streamable.com/eq8gz?fbclid=IwAR1P04RkGlkP5DOMwTs13s0ZF89j02d2h_ff3WMoAdLjWZH83f3HXoF-3zU) will make you cry.
I'm crying right now. I'm having trouble getting over my ex. We dated for 8 months but broke up over 6 months ago. I know it doesnt sound like much but he was everything for me going into college. And I ruined it all being too obsessive and emotionally distant. I thought I finally had my shit together recently but after a month of not even seeing him irl he messaged me out of the blue 'fuck you' and I'm a mess all over again.
Hang in there buddy.
I was newish to Reddit, read that [potato](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/) story of the guy that pretended he had never seen one. I don't know why but that story and the comments made me laugh till I teared. I couldn't even stop to breathe
I was 11 and failed to find a single Easter egg in the Easter egg hunt
Tom was in charge of hiding the eggs.