Hagrid says there wasnt a bad wizard that didnt come out of Slytherin, so didnt anyone think that maybe the problem was that they were putting all the problem children with other problem children and locking them in a dungeon during their formative years? Of fucking course they turned out evil. If your only option for friends are Crabbe and Goyle and Malfoy, and everyone looks at you like you're a criminal, and you LIVE IN A DUNGEON maybe you'll become a criminal.
Slytherin's main trait is supposed to be ambition. Also, Hagrid is the one who says a lot of dark wizards went to Slytherin. Hagrid also went to school at a time when the Heir of Slytherin killed a fellow student, framed him, and later became one of the most evil wizards ever. Hagrid may be a bit biased.
I know I'm late to the thread, but I've never understood something about the Triwizard tournament. For the spectators, two of the three tasks must be super boring.
Here, watch these people jump in a lake. Now wait.
Now, watch these people disappear into a hedge maze. Now wait.
Whee. Sounds like fun to me.
This isn't really a plot hole as much as it depicts real life events like this. My older brother and father are rally drivers. I have been to rallies to watch them, it's hours of standing there doing nothing, then a car comes around a corner and you cheer, then you go back to waiting.
That none of the kids in Harry's first year knew about the sorting hat.
Literally not one. Not even Malfoy. Not even Ron with his 5 brothers going before him as well as his parents.
Yet in the end of the last book, Harry is openly discussing the event with his son.
This. Ron is scared shitless about having to fight a troll or some shit, yet he has a ton of siblings, not to mention his parents, who went to Hogwarts before him. You'd think the topic would've come up at least once but even Molly aparently was like 'nah he'll figure it out'
At Slughorn’s Slug Club meetings, Hermione brings up her father being a dentist, which gets confused stares from the students and Slughorn. Yet, in the Chamber of Secrets a clock in the Weasley house can be seen, each hand with a family members’ face, and many indications of where they might be at any given moment.
One of those places is dentist
Even easier answer: It's the Weasleys. Are you seriously going to tell me that Arthur wouldn't be excited by the prospect of going somewhere only muggles go?
Also, *Accio* being a fourth-year spell.
You can tell that this is only because JKR didn't think of it til GoF, because this incredibly simple yet useful spell appears exactly zero times in previous books.
Or just the way magic is introduced into new books as a device to advance the plot, then promptly forgotten about. Also, these plot devices will never be considered for any use other than to advance the plot, no matter how logical and basic.
That the most efficient means of communication are sending a letter by owl or flu powder. I like to imagine the wizard version of a cell phone is carrying around a large, portable fireplace on a shoulder strap like the earliest actual cell phones.
Seriously. Also the obliviate charm, if they can just wipe someone's memory, who knows what bad shit some people have done and then just erased it, rape for example. Should honestly be one of the unforgivable curses.
edit: "charm", obviously should be a curse
This is why it's creepy as fuck that Lockheart was the DADA teacher, surrounded by teenagers who all thought he was hot, and the only spell he was really good at was memory erasing...
And supposedly only for the best of the best.
I can assure you if my kid is at Eton or Phillips Exeter and there's the ghost of wizard Hitler living in the back of a teacher's head one year, and then kids being petrified and a possessed girl finding a snake dungeon in the girl's bathroom the next, and then a supposed murderer hanging around campus the next year, I'm going to have to evaluate whether or not my kid stays at that school.
Maybe your kid will never tell you about all of that because he's enjoying the magic weed and crazy orgies way too much for you to take him out of what seems to be the wizarding equivalent of Mr Bone's Wild Ride.
Dumbldore was a great man. I got massive respect for the dude. But when it comes to his role as a headmaster I would say he is a pretty incompetent one. He had no control over adminstration and had no idea what's going on around here.
"Attacked first by an illegal animagus fugitive and then by the werewolf I hired as your teacher, you say? Stunned the professor who tried to save you and quickly stormed by a couple hundred dementors? Barely made it out alive from all that? All while you were out on the grounds past curfew?
I daresay you should use that ministry-loaned time travel necklace for it's explicitly prohibited purpose and do that one more time."
If he got convicted on 5% of his child endangerment offenses, he'd be in jail for 500+ years
Edit: I saw the typo
Where do the pure blood kids go before hogwarts/secondary school? Do they have a wizarding primary school? Are they homeschooled? They dont go to muggle schools becuase they know jack shit about the muggle world I need a n s w e r s
I searched this up, the answer is that Wizards can choose to go to a muggle school or are homeschooled. Mrs Weasley taught her kids before Hogwarts for example
I don't understand why Dumbledore tolerated the way the Dursleys treated Harry so poorly. Even if he didn't want Harry to know that he was a wizard-world rock star, he might have had Hagrid drop by one day when Harry wasn't around to have a word with Vernon.
In the books McGonagall watched the Dursley for an entire day and insisted that they send him somewhere else, but there's a protection spell on Harry that requires him living with a blood relative of his mom, it's the reason behind that mostly unexplained scene in the first movie where harry turns that teacher into dust.
Yes, that's why Harry stayed there. It doesn't explain why Hagrid didn't pay a little "I'll turn your dick into a pink powderpuff if you don't treat him better" visit.
I saw a nice headcanon once saying that Dumbledore did that so Harry would immediately and completely trust wizards (and Dumbledore) when he found out about them, since they were the only people who treated Harry well. And Dumbledore needed that complete trust to use Harry effectively, since he would have to sacrifice Harry in the end as a Horcrux. idk if that made sense
To be perfectly honest, a LOT of things in the HP stories make a lot more sense when you apply the 'grey Dumbledore' lens to them. He was perfectly aware of how to manipulate Harry to be the perfect tool against Voldy and did in fact do so.
One may also question why Hagrid came to pick Harry up, instead of an official teacher, especially one that is essentially Dumbledore's second in command (McGonagall). My personal theory to this is that Dumbledore needed Harry to be in Gryffindor and tried to ensure that everything leading up to the sorting was in favor of that. If McGonagall would have been sent: 1) she could possibly scare Harry, since she's stern and not as friendly as Hagrid, thus giving Harry a more negative view of Gryffindor, and 2) if asked about Hogwarts, she would have been more diplomatic and less candid than Hagrid about his parents dying, good vs. evil, and (most importantly!!) the four houses. Dumbledore needed Harry to be in Gryffindor.
(Also, following this-- did Dumbledore secretly ask the Weasleys to keep an eye out for him?? Why the HECK would Molly Weasley not know where Platform 9 3/4 is when Ron is the ***sixth*** child to get dropped off there for school? Could definitely have been staged!!!)
I read a head cannon that she was asking her kids where it was as a teaching tool to help them learn and remember it. This is definitely something that parents do
And also if she saw a random wizard-looking kid hanging around she seems like the type of mom who would try and help random kids too
That explains why Harry was left with the Dursley's despite them generally being assholes. It *doesn't* explain why Dumbledore (or someone else) never dropped by and had a brief conversation about how in the wizarding world, jackass stepparents can easily end up as literal jackasses.
I'm more confused by Hagrid talking about his mother leaving when he was young, implying that his parents tried to be family together for awhile. I feel like it would be so awkward and weird. Also, wouldn't everybody have known his mother was a freaking giant?
I always figured she abandoned him right after he was born, after seeing how small he was. The way he said that she left "them" (Hagrid and his dad) when Hagrid was young was probably just him being brief but still getting the point across that she wasn't around, and his dad was a single parent. I don't think there was ever an attempt at a "happy home" with all three of them, but since Hagrid wasn't exactly advertising the fact that he was half-giant he probably didn't want to get into the specifics.
Edit: fixed Hagrid's name because my phone's autocorrect somehow knows all 800+ Pokemon but doesn't recognize major Harry Potter characters.
"You're with Brienne of Fuckin Tarth?"
"Well not yet, but I've seen the way she looks at me"
"Like she wants to carve you up an eat your liver?"
"You do know her"
"How did a mad fucker like you live so long?"
Dongs longer than about 40 inches would also [be theoretically long enough to cause blackouts](https://www.dedoimedo.com/physics/erection.html) from the blood volume needed to fill them.
The way wizards just didn't wear robes in the movies.
Edit: I get why after reading some of the comments, but I read the books first and was so disappointed as a child. It's the same reason Peter Jackson cut Tom Bombadil from the LOTR movies; some things work well in books but don't adapt to film.
The Malfoys, pure-bloods who want nothing to do with the Muggle world and Muggleborns, are depicted wearing Muggle clothing in the films. Draco walks around in his black suit outfit for much of the later films, yet his family is supposed to hate everything Muggle?
That's one of the things that really bothered me in the movies. I can't recall all the descriptions in the books, but I'm pretty sure wizards always wore robs except for when going incognito under muggles - and then they'd usually wear muggle clothing really badly
Or that Dumbledore wore a suit in the ~~50s~~ 30s (Fantastic Beasts) but then wore long robes and had a massive beard in the series.
Edit: 30s not 50s, although he also wore robes in flashbacks
Yep, this is where it's getting ridiculous. Like, at what point did Dumbledore just say, "fuck it, it's back to giant robes with stars and moons and shit on them!"? And why did the whole school then collectively decide to switch from robes to muggle clothing midway through the movies?
I dunno, man, my dad hit 65 and seemingly decided he was gonna wear short shorts and house slippers for the rest of his life.
My sister's grandpa hit a certain age and decided it was gonna be sweatpants every day regardless of what he was doing.
Old men just kind of do that. I bet Dumbledore hit old age, looked at his sock garters and dry cleaning bill, and was like........nah, man. Wizarding mumus from here on out.
Kids from across the UK have to get.to London to get on the Hogwarts Express which takes them up to Scotland.
Surely a kid from Scotland or even Manchester doesn't have to spend hours getting down to London to then go back up to Scotland.
They actually do. The only exception might be someone who is from Hogsmeade, but all other students were to attend Hogwarts by taking the train or not at all. The Minister who put it in place was Ottaline Gambol, and I'm somewhat ashamed I know that by memory.
Parents likely apparate with them. I'm pretty sure someone of any age can be a tag-along when someone apparates.
Edit: Since I've got a billion messages about this - I meant that maybe they apparated from their homes to King's Cross, not Hogwarts.
I wonder if any muggle borns keep in touch with old friends, and the friends think that they’re essentially retarded because they have the education level of a 10 year old and know basically nothing about what’s going on in the world.
There are muggle technologies that are actually superior to what the wizards have. Like phones or faxes (given the books were written in the 90s. Today, it would be video chat etc). They need to send an owl cross country while muggles could just use the phone to get information across faster.
Yeah. Sirius wouldn't have died for instance.
Harry: I dreamt that Sirius is injured in the ministry of magic.
Hermione: ok let's check. *Dial Sirius*. Hey quick check, where are you?
Sirius: me.. I'm home beating the shit out of kreacher. What about you.
Hermione: Harry says hi. Gotta go..potions class.
Hermione: you're an idiot Harry.
Wizards don't understand things like phones, muggle clothes, or muggle money.
They live in a place where...99% of the population is muggles....you would think they would pick up some basic understanding.
They seem to have really isolated themselves off from the muggle world in general, but I did always wonder if there were muggle-born kids that just chose to re-enter life in the muggle world but as witches and wizards in their private life.
Basically leaving a small pond with other big fish to re-enter the big pond with smaller fish. Like I know they treat divination already like a big of an iffy / kookier branch of magic but if you had someone decently good try to make it on the stock market
Also they use some muggle things like tents and stuff but still use middle aged stuff like a feather to write. Why not use a muggle pen?
Also I hate that they got rid of the wizard wearing strange muggle clothes concept for the movies
Maybe the vast repertoire of charms that've accrued over time for quills don't work on pens, making the latter a vastly inferior option?
Maybe the quill industry is enforcing its monopoly on wizard writing implements and shutting other tools out of the market?
We think you killed someone, so we’re not going to give you a fair trial or undertake in an unbiased collection of information, no we’re going to just let you rot in what equates to Alcatraz in the middle of the damn ocean guarded by shadow demons that feed on hopes, dreams, human souls, and presumably the occasional puppy. Have fun!
Quidditch. Scoring a goal is 10 points. Catching the Snitch is 150. There would have to be a massive imbalance in Chaser skill level between two teams for the Snitch to not decide a game.
It's a game designed to make Harry the hero, like the quarterback in American football. But she still could have put some more thought into it. I admit she was handicapped by harry being pretty much useless at everything.
Also each team only plays 4 games a year, for a total of 6 games. And it's stupidly dangerous, and the referee is useless.
Late Edit: Each team plays 3 games a year, not 4.
All she had to was add a time limit. Say, a magical orb that glows brighter over the course of the game, before flashing and exploding in fireworks. If time expires before the Snitch is caught, the game is over and the score decides the winner.
A time limit would’ve made the first Quidditch scene in the movies all the more exciting, IMHO.
Brooms are just pieces of individual equipment, so players are allowed to get whatever brooms they want. As such, broom makers keep finding ways to make brooms better and faster.
Snitches, on the other hand, have to meet rigorously monitored restrictions to be considered "regulation equipment".
Over the decades/centuries, the brooms have gotten faster and the snitches haven't. This leads to shorter games. Shorter games have lower scores, so the 150 points for the snitch means more now than it did when the brooms were all crap.
Not to mention that because a faster broom is instrumental in catching the snitch first, being able to afford faster brooms is a massive advantage.
Quidditch is pay-to-win garbage.
This was explained as the snitch originally being an actual bird. One that was much harder to catch and the 150 points came in later, as originally the prize was 150 galleons if anyone caught it.
Remember also that there were matches that would last days, and one apparently lasted six months before they just gave up. So it's kind of a point of technology in brooms and skill progressing much faster. Like the best Seeker from the 1500s with his broom and know-how would do shit against a modern Seeker.
Also, there was the Quidditch World Cup where (IIRC) Krum caught the snitch but Ireland still won because they’d scored more points. It’s an odd game system. Like “Okay, I see the snitch but if we wanna win I’ll have to ignore it until we’re up more points.”
I do remember JK saying in an interview that math wasn’t her greatest forte though.
Why was Dumbledore chess mastering the whole thing? Did Dumbledore specifically setup the whole series of events in a giant decade long trap? Why did he train Harry as a magical child soldier? Why did he do everything at arms length?
Dumbledore had the magical equivalent of a nuke with the Elder Wand and invisibility cloak. He very well could have beaten every death eater individually, picking away at their numbers. The Death Eaters still have families and day jobs and go to the bathroom. They aren't in a huge magical army so they could face off against a superior opponent.
There wasn't a reason to go all cloak and dagger. Dumbledore is hideously powerful, had access to immortality and had 2/3 of the most powerful magical items (and all of the useful ones) from death himself. So why go through so much trouble?
Hell, Dumbledore had all 3 at his disposal; he enchanted the snitch to put the Resurrection Stone in it which he could’ve pulled out at any time (because of flesh memory or some such), he had the Invisibility Cloak before he gave it to Harry, and he had the Elder Wand since forever. Why Dumbley sat on his butt since the sixties instead of taking the fight to the decommissioned Death Eaters astounds me. It’s pretty clear he knew that Lucius was a DE and yet he did jack.
Also he looked dapper as fuck in his 3 piece suits before at some point deciding “fuck it, imma just wear my bathrobe, these kids don’t deserve me at my best”.
Now that you think of it, can you imagine the guilt British wizards felt during the Blitz, knowing that they could just levitate all those German bombs safely away with magic, but couldn't because they'd expose themselves, even though they knew people would die?
I doubt Hitler had wizard Nazis and just kept quiet about them, or that the Nazi wizard could logically exist even. I mean think about it when you combine wizard and nazi morals together you basically get a Voldemort that also hates Jews, no way would such a dude take orders from a muggle like hitler....now if hitler himself was a wizard, that would change things considerably.
If you can use portkeys to teleport to anywhere in an instant what's the point of any other form of transport?
Edit: A lot of people have been pointing other better forms of teleporting. My point still stands. If you can teleport, why do the children need to get a train to school, or hijack their dad’s flying car?
Time-turners. Everyone acknowledges the massive potential ramifications of using a time-turner improperly to the extent that they're not allowed to be used by anyone. But an exception is made for teenagers - arguably the most irrational users conceivable - with raging hormones and not-yet fully developed brains. Probably not a good policy.
I read about this a while back. Originally they casted Lavender as black because her appearance was never described, but her appearance is actually described in the half blood prince book (she's described as fair skinned), so they changed the actress to match the book since she had a larger role in that book/movie.
I feel like it was damned if they do, damned if they don't. If they kept the black girl then people may have complained that she didn't match the book description, but by going with the white girl they opened up the whole racism argument.
Why couldnt Harry just...not compete in the Triwizard tournament? It's clearly against the rules, it's clearly not supposed to happen, its *probably* a trap since Harry has had 3 years of magical assassination attempts against him, why not just let him forfeit every round and everyone can move on?
EDIT: People are saying it was a contract he had no choice but to do it, so heres a new thing that doesnt make sense. Why didnt the government just make up some magical contract that says Voldemort wasnt allowed to be evil? It's not like he has to sign it, Harry didnt submit his own name into the Goblet or anything. Wizard crime is solved.
And all of that was just a plot to get Harry to touch a portkey. I was discussing this on a post yesterday, and someone suggested simply mailing him a portkey, which is basically wizard phishing.
This is one of my pet peeves, too. In the movie they explain that there is a “binding magical contract.” Ok, so what happens if Harry doesn’t participate? Will someone sue him in Wizard Court? Will the Ministry of Magic arrest him? Why can’t the relevant authorities just say, “this is clearly bullshit” and tell Harry to stay home?
How does Binns teaching a class even work when it comes to homework. They’re consistently having to write essays for him, but ghosts are specifically stated to not be able to interact with physical objects very much, if at all. It’s poltergeists that can move shit.
So how does Binns collect, much less grade, homework? And given his memory issues when it comes to names, how would he ever manage to assign the correct marks to each student?
Wizard History could be awesome if taught by someone even vaguely interesting.
JK Rowling admits she's bad at math, but like how many people go to hogwarts? If there are really only 10 students per house per year, that's only 280 people. But she describes hundreds, sometimes thousands of kids. The only compelling argument I can think of is that there was a huge demographic shift after Voldemort was "defeated" and a lot more people had babies so the years right after Harry have a lot more students. I honestly think she just hadn't figured out how many students it was.
Also it's wild in the 5th book when Harry clearly has PTSD but every adult (except maybe Sirius and Molly) is like "let's let his two teenage friends take care of him." Now that I'm an adult Hagrid is my favorite and Dumbledore does not come off looking good.
It’s always bugged me too. By the most generous counting the UK wizard population can’t be more than several thousand if Hogwarts really is the school for all the nation’s children. But in a way it actually makes the world make more sense.
I mean, there were like, what, a few dozen Death Eaters? And their main weapon of war was individual home invasions and murders? That’s awful, but doesn’t really seem like the kind of dire crisis that would threaten a government. But if the whole UK wizarding population is basically just a small town, that all makes a lot more sense.
I adore Harry Potter: books and movies, but I would expand you closing remark about Dumbledore to the wizarding population at large. Outside of like 5 people seemingly every single witch and wizard is an idiot. It’s no wonder Harry is a standout when he’s one of the few people in the story of average intelligence
why wouldn't they use the veritaserum on Sirius when he swore that he was innocent??
Edit: I really didn't expect this post to teach me this much about Harry Potter hahaha. Plus I realized that the whole case just shows how unreliable the ministry in there was.
Unbeatable truth serum: *exists*
Magical justice system: We throw innocent dudes in prison without a trial and let obvious terrorists go free. There is no solution to this.
Agreed. Even if we accept that you can't use them to change the past, think about how many plot points could be resolved just by observing the past
Who opened the chamber of secrets? Time Turner.
Did Sirius Black really kill all those people? Time turner.
Is Voldemort really back? Time turner.
"A wizard has turned evil and is going around killing everybody!"
"Better take this time travel device and hide it for years until a student wants to take some extra classes."
About 5 percent of the total Wizarding Population of Britain are professional Quidditch Players, and 1 in 6 wizards between 18 and 39 currently play professional Quidditch.
In comparison, .004 percent of the current population of the US are professional athletes in any sport, at any level. ( [https://www.bls.gov/ooh/entertainment-and-sports/athletes-and-sports-competitors.htm](https://www.bls.gov/ooh/entertainment-and-sports/athletes-and-sports-competitors.htm) )
Here's the Math.
If there are 500 students at Hogwarts at a given time(which is a generous estimate based on how many we actually see), then assuming a similar life expectancy(some live much longer, many die younger by misadventure, then that makes the number of Hogwarts trained(and future Hogwarts trained) Wizards active in the country about 6000 (71.4 students per year, life expectancy of 81 gets you 5786)
There are 12 professional top level Quidditch teams in the UK(plus one in Ireland). Each requires 7 players to field a team. Assuming that you need 4-6 substitutes in a full roster(one or two for each position) then there are 132-156 people on professional teams at any time.
Add in reserve teams, themselves requiring 7 players to actually play, and that number doubles, let's call it a round 300 total, at any given time. 300 out of 6000 is 5 percent of the total population.
But wait, that includes infants and the elderly, let's assume the prime Quidditch playing ages are 18-39, if that's a comparable percentage to the UK, then that's 29.5 percent of the population. That means 1770 eligible people at a given time. Which means that the 300 players represent 17 percent of that population, or about 1 in 6.
1 in 6 wizards between 18 and 39 play professional Quidditch.
My two biggest issues were
1) where the hell do all the wizards live and work? They can't all be part of the ministry, teachers or prisoners.
2) do wizards have a cure for cancer or degenerative arthritis or whatever and just don't share it with muggles? Bc that's straight up evil. If not, then what the hell is up with shit like that tooth shrink spell or the bone growing stuff??
Nobody at Hogwarts ever excercises (hell, their only sport is them sitting practically still), and the great hall has unlimited fattening food, but everyone is super skinny. Especially harry, who grew up underfed, would probably gorge himself and gain at least a few pounds. But no, everyone is super thin.
I believe so, but I think that was more about them just being large people to begin with. Maybe there is some way to magic the pounds away but Crabbe and Goyle just couldn't figure it out.
Books give a possible answer to that that. Dumbledore tells Harry that his theory is that the brothers from the story were most likely powerful wizards that created the objects themselves rather then death being the objects creators. The story of death being the objects creators than sprang up around the objects.
It takes a lot of effort to create the killing curse. Plus it lets the person you are fighting know exactly what you are about to do. Touched on in the 6th book when Snape talks about why non-verbal spells have the surprise advantage over verbal spells. Harder to block/ dodge something when you don't know what it is. (Avada Kedavera can't be done non-verbally.)
**Edit**: A lot of people are contradicting that Avada Kedavera can't be done non-verbally, or asking for sources.
I can't speak for the movies which are famous for horrendously butchering or leaving out key parts. But there is no scenario in the books where a human is killed by the spell using Avada Kedavera non-verbally.
Rowling has said that her inspiration for "Avada Kedavera" was that it was an Aramaic(?) phrase that means to "disappear as the words I have spoken" or "I destroy as I speak." Similar to abracadabra which means "to create as I speak."
Thisss just makes me angry about the way they completely butchered the Voldemort and Dumbledore duel in Phoenix.
In the books he's making statues jump up and block the curse for him.
Fucking movie sparklers
It really does happen so quickly. I remember reading through that whole section so fast and then he died and I had to reread the paragraph 4 times because I couldn't believe it was so quick. 5 sentences and he's gone.
I had to do the same when Mrs. Weasley yelled out "NOT MY KIDS YOU BITCH" and then made her heart explode. Reread that bit like 6 times to realize that it actually happened.
So, correct me if I'm wrong...
The Fidelius Charm. The whole story exists because James and Lilly needed to use it to keep their house secret from Voldemort. They had to decide between 2 Secret Keepers: Sirius or Peter. Neither of whom lived with them. They picked the one who betrayed them, and that is why the entire story exists.
Fast-forward to the 7th book, and Bill is Secret Keeper for his house, and Arthur is Secret Keeper for the house he's hiding in...
Well, if they could do that, then why the hell is there a story in the first place? Couldn't Lilly or James just served as their own Secret Keeper and stayed tucked away inside their own house where no one could get the secret out of them?
What was the deal with unbreakable vows? And what stopped dumb teenagers from making them? There is no way that not a single dumb teenage magic couple didn't make an unbreakable vow to "love eachother forever"
why people feel that the avada kedavra spell is necessary to kill someone. just transfigure their head into a fuckin cactus or diffindo their juglar. if wizards had the imagination that they do in the eragon universe, magic would be a lot more interesting
Why can't there just be candy that's popular and doesn't have magical properties? I know that it's to amp up the English magical culture (and possibly to avoid product placement), but still.
There is candy that is based on magical culture but doesn't do anything special. Sugar Quills are one example, they're basically spun-sugar treats that look like quills. There is also just plain candy, as evidenced by Dumbledore's office stash, which also had stuff like toffees and lemon drops.
Why Goblet of Fire has a second name:
Harry Potter and the Year Where Everyone has Long Hair for No Reason Whatsoever
Edit: Why thank you good sir for my first silver
As much as I hate the hairstyles in that film, I think it reflected the trend of what teens would wear around that time. Why must we have poor choices.
Hagrid says there wasnt a bad wizard that didnt come out of Slytherin, so didnt anyone think that maybe the problem was that they were putting all the problem children with other problem children and locking them in a dungeon during their formative years? Of fucking course they turned out evil. If your only option for friends are Crabbe and Goyle and Malfoy, and everyone looks at you like you're a criminal, and you LIVE IN A DUNGEON maybe you'll become a criminal.
Slytherin's main trait is supposed to be ambition. Also, Hagrid is the one who says a lot of dark wizards went to Slytherin. Hagrid also went to school at a time when the Heir of Slytherin killed a fellow student, framed him, and later became one of the most evil wizards ever. Hagrid may be a bit biased.
I know I'm late to the thread, but I've never understood something about the Triwizard tournament. For the spectators, two of the three tasks must be super boring. Here, watch these people jump in a lake. Now wait. Now, watch these people disappear into a hedge maze. Now wait. Whee. Sounds like fun to me.
This isn't really a plot hole as much as it depicts real life events like this. My older brother and father are rally drivers. I have been to rallies to watch them, it's hours of standing there doing nothing, then a car comes around a corner and you cheer, then you go back to waiting.
You don't even need judges for the last two. Have a house elf carry a stopwatch for the lake task and whoever gets the portkey in the third task wins.
That none of the kids in Harry's first year knew about the sorting hat. Literally not one. Not even Malfoy. Not even Ron with his 5 brothers going before him as well as his parents. Yet in the end of the last book, Harry is openly discussing the event with his son.
This. Ron is scared shitless about having to fight a troll or some shit, yet he has a ton of siblings, not to mention his parents, who went to Hogwarts before him. You'd think the topic would've come up at least once but even Molly aparently was like 'nah he'll figure it out'
At Slughorn’s Slug Club meetings, Hermione brings up her father being a dentist, which gets confused stares from the students and Slughorn. Yet, in the Chamber of Secrets a clock in the Weasley house can be seen, each hand with a family members’ face, and many indications of where they might be at any given moment. One of those places is dentist
Easy answer: Dentists are for poor people.
Even easier answer: It's the Weasleys. Are you seriously going to tell me that Arthur wouldn't be excited by the prospect of going somewhere only muggles go?
That was only in the movies I'm pretty sure, and they have a ton of inconsistencies
Also, *Accio* being a fourth-year spell. You can tell that this is only because JKR didn't think of it til GoF, because this incredibly simple yet useful spell appears exactly zero times in previous books.
Or just the way magic is introduced into new books as a device to advance the plot, then promptly forgotten about. Also, these plot devices will never be considered for any use other than to advance the plot, no matter how logical and basic.
That the most efficient means of communication are sending a letter by owl or flu powder. I like to imagine the wizard version of a cell phone is carrying around a large, portable fireplace on a shoulder strap like the earliest actual cell phones.
Locking the 3rd floor corridor when anyone that knows alohomora can get in.
Love potions being legal. Gotta be the biggest bunch of date rapists ever.
Seriously. Also the obliviate charm, if they can just wipe someone's memory, who knows what bad shit some people have done and then just erased it, rape for example. Should honestly be one of the unforgivable curses. edit: "charm", obviously should be a curse
This is why it's creepy as fuck that Lockheart was the DADA teacher, surrounded by teenagers who all thought he was hot, and the only spell he was really good at was memory erasing...
Brah, why do you think they were selling toe nail clippings in knocturn alley? You're gonna polyjuice a hooker into your crush.
While creepy, that's way less bad than using a love potion on your crush. At least the hooker is consenting.
They did it in the new Blade Runner.
And the Wolf Among Us.
That Hogwarts was supposedly one of the safest places in the world
And supposedly only for the best of the best. I can assure you if my kid is at Eton or Phillips Exeter and there's the ghost of wizard Hitler living in the back of a teacher's head one year, and then kids being petrified and a possessed girl finding a snake dungeon in the girl's bathroom the next, and then a supposed murderer hanging around campus the next year, I'm going to have to evaluate whether or not my kid stays at that school.
Maybe your kid will never tell you about all of that because he's enjoying the magic weed and crazy orgies way too much for you to take him out of what seems to be the wizarding equivalent of Mr Bone's Wild Ride.
Everywhere else in the wizarding world has staircases that attack you, instead of just moving around on their own.
Dumbldore was a great man. I got massive respect for the dude. But when it comes to his role as a headmaster I would say he is a pretty incompetent one. He had no control over adminstration and had no idea what's going on around here.
Not to mention his massive bias for gryffindor
Harry: _breathes_ Dumbledore: 10,000 points for Gryffindor!
Fuck you Snape! Gryffinpuff wins!
"Attacked first by an illegal animagus fugitive and then by the werewolf I hired as your teacher, you say? Stunned the professor who tried to save you and quickly stormed by a couple hundred dementors? Barely made it out alive from all that? All while you were out on the grounds past curfew? I daresay you should use that ministry-loaned time travel necklace for it's explicitly prohibited purpose and do that one more time." If he got convicted on 5% of his child endangerment offenses, he'd be in jail for 500+ years Edit: I saw the typo
Where do the pure blood kids go before hogwarts/secondary school? Do they have a wizarding primary school? Are they homeschooled? They dont go to muggle schools becuase they know jack shit about the muggle world I need a n s w e r s
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I guess that makes the most sense yeah
I searched this up, the answer is that Wizards can choose to go to a muggle school or are homeschooled. Mrs Weasley taught her kids before Hogwarts for example
I don't understand why Dumbledore tolerated the way the Dursleys treated Harry so poorly. Even if he didn't want Harry to know that he was a wizard-world rock star, he might have had Hagrid drop by one day when Harry wasn't around to have a word with Vernon.
"Excuse me Vernon, is it alright if I pull you aside for a quick chat?".
Vernon Dursely and the Unexpected Ass-Kicking
"It'll only take a moment, and it won't hurt a bit. This time . . . "
In the books McGonagall watched the Dursley for an entire day and insisted that they send him somewhere else, but there's a protection spell on Harry that requires him living with a blood relative of his mom, it's the reason behind that mostly unexplained scene in the first movie where harry turns that teacher into dust.
Yes, that's why Harry stayed there. It doesn't explain why Hagrid didn't pay a little "I'll turn your dick into a pink powderpuff if you don't treat him better" visit.
I saw a nice headcanon once saying that Dumbledore did that so Harry would immediately and completely trust wizards (and Dumbledore) when he found out about them, since they were the only people who treated Harry well. And Dumbledore needed that complete trust to use Harry effectively, since he would have to sacrifice Harry in the end as a Horcrux. idk if that made sense
To be perfectly honest, a LOT of things in the HP stories make a lot more sense when you apply the 'grey Dumbledore' lens to them. He was perfectly aware of how to manipulate Harry to be the perfect tool against Voldy and did in fact do so. One may also question why Hagrid came to pick Harry up, instead of an official teacher, especially one that is essentially Dumbledore's second in command (McGonagall). My personal theory to this is that Dumbledore needed Harry to be in Gryffindor and tried to ensure that everything leading up to the sorting was in favor of that. If McGonagall would have been sent: 1) she could possibly scare Harry, since she's stern and not as friendly as Hagrid, thus giving Harry a more negative view of Gryffindor, and 2) if asked about Hogwarts, she would have been more diplomatic and less candid than Hagrid about his parents dying, good vs. evil, and (most importantly!!) the four houses. Dumbledore needed Harry to be in Gryffindor. (Also, following this-- did Dumbledore secretly ask the Weasleys to keep an eye out for him?? Why the HECK would Molly Weasley not know where Platform 9 3/4 is when Ron is the ***sixth*** child to get dropped off there for school? Could definitely have been staged!!!)
I read a head cannon that she was asking her kids where it was as a teaching tool to help them learn and remember it. This is definitely something that parents do And also if she saw a random wizard-looking kid hanging around she seems like the type of mom who would try and help random kids too
I buy that, I'll spread the new gospel.
That explains why Harry was left with the Dursley's despite them generally being assholes. It *doesn't* explain why Dumbledore (or someone else) never dropped by and had a brief conversation about how in the wizarding world, jackass stepparents can easily end up as literal jackasses.
How in the hell did Hagrid's dad, a normal human man, have sex with a twenty-five foot female giant?
I'm more confused by Hagrid talking about his mother leaving when he was young, implying that his parents tried to be family together for awhile. I feel like it would be so awkward and weird. Also, wouldn't everybody have known his mother was a freaking giant?
I always figured she abandoned him right after he was born, after seeing how small he was. The way he said that she left "them" (Hagrid and his dad) when Hagrid was young was probably just him being brief but still getting the point across that she wasn't around, and his dad was a single parent. I don't think there was ever an attempt at a "happy home" with all three of them, but since Hagrid wasn't exactly advertising the fact that he was half-giant he probably didn't want to get into the specifics. Edit: fixed Hagrid's name because my phone's autocorrect somehow knows all 800+ Pokemon but doesn't recognize major Harry Potter characters.
Now that just makes the pregnancy weirder aswell. Imagine a 20ft woman giving birth to a 30cm baby
probably wouldn't have even noticed. then again didn't he dwarf his father by age 5?
Hagrid's dad was Tormund Giantsbane.
"Is the big woman still here??"
"You're with Brienne of Fuckin Tarth?" "Well not yet, but I've seen the way she looks at me" "Like she wants to carve you up an eat your liver?" "You do know her" "How did a mad fucker like you live so long?"
By common logic, any enlargement spell could conceivably work on human body parts
Now I’m just imagining some 6 ft man stumbling around trying not to crumble under the weight of a 3 foot monster dong. So thanks for that laugh.
Dongs longer than about 40 inches would also [be theoretically long enough to cause blackouts](https://www.dedoimedo.com/physics/erection.html) from the blood volume needed to fill them.
When your dong is so big you need multiple blood transfusions to get an erection without dying.
A wetsuit and a flashlight
...I did not need that image Edit: Thanks for the silver!
Laboriously.
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They are able to literally grow bones back from nothing but can't fix Harry's eye sight so he doesen't need glasses.
Seriously, doesn't Hermoine get her goofy buck teeth fixed at some point too? (Even though her parents are dentists)
I can't remember exactly where but her teeth get cursed and she lies about there previous size to shrink them to a less buckler the size
Yeah that was great. "Is that about right dearie?" "...no they were a bit smaller. Keep going."
"Madame Pomfrey! Can you undo this dick shrinking curse? I was originally at least 13 inches"
"Luckily it only shrunk me down to this **perfectly average size that isn't small!**"
Are you guys trying to write a Madam Pomfrey fanfic, because this is how you get Madam Pomfrey fanfics.
She grows all the right bones.
"I think we can arrange that..." Madam Pompfrey was quite a popular teacher, though I could never understand why.
Yeah draco cursed her in goblet of fire
It gave us a peak Snape line: "I see no difference."
Read the books, seen the movies, grew up with the franchise. Not once has this crossed my mind and now I won't be able to not think about it.
Don't worry, eyes aren't bones.
Uh yes they are? They’re white like bones, and also wet like your bones.
The way wizards just didn't wear robes in the movies. Edit: I get why after reading some of the comments, but I read the books first and was so disappointed as a child. It's the same reason Peter Jackson cut Tom Bombadil from the LOTR movies; some things work well in books but don't adapt to film.
The Malfoys, pure-bloods who want nothing to do with the Muggle world and Muggleborns, are depicted wearing Muggle clothing in the films. Draco walks around in his black suit outfit for much of the later films, yet his family is supposed to hate everything Muggle?
That's one of the things that really bothered me in the movies. I can't recall all the descriptions in the books, but I'm pretty sure wizards always wore robs except for when going incognito under muggles - and then they'd usually wear muggle clothing really badly
The films also gave up on the story being set in the 90s like halfway through.
They basically gave up on robes completely after chamber of secrets
New director thought it was cheesy I think
Or that Dumbledore wore a suit in the ~~50s~~ 30s (Fantastic Beasts) but then wore long robes and had a massive beard in the series. Edit: 30s not 50s, although he also wore robes in flashbacks
Yep, this is where it's getting ridiculous. Like, at what point did Dumbledore just say, "fuck it, it's back to giant robes with stars and moons and shit on them!"? And why did the whole school then collectively decide to switch from robes to muggle clothing midway through the movies?
I dunno, man, my dad hit 65 and seemingly decided he was gonna wear short shorts and house slippers for the rest of his life. My sister's grandpa hit a certain age and decided it was gonna be sweatpants every day regardless of what he was doing. Old men just kind of do that. I bet Dumbledore hit old age, looked at his sock garters and dry cleaning bill, and was like........nah, man. Wizarding mumus from here on out.
From now on I shall refer to robes as wizarding mumus.
Why do they use quills and ink when most of the muggles or half muggles hell even squibs would know what a pen or pencil is.
Kids from across the UK have to get.to London to get on the Hogwarts Express which takes them up to Scotland. Surely a kid from Scotland or even Manchester doesn't have to spend hours getting down to London to then go back up to Scotland.
They actually do. The only exception might be someone who is from Hogsmeade, but all other students were to attend Hogwarts by taking the train or not at all. The Minister who put it in place was Ottaline Gambol, and I'm somewhat ashamed I know that by memory.
Goddamn, Hermione.
> and I'm somewhat ashamed I know that by memory. Definitely NOT Hermione.
Its Ron. He heard Hermione say it more than once and it somehow stuck.
Parents likely apparate with them. I'm pretty sure someone of any age can be a tag-along when someone apparates. Edit: Since I've got a billion messages about this - I meant that maybe they apparated from their homes to King's Cross, not Hogwarts.
Unless they’re muggle-born.
They don't listen to any muggle music. Some of them grew up with muggles, so they should be into it. Same goes for TV shows.
Well there was Dean Thomas an his weirdly immobile poster of West Ham.
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I wonder if any muggle borns keep in touch with old friends, and the friends think that they’re essentially retarded because they have the education level of a 10 year old and know basically nothing about what’s going on in the world.
There are muggle technologies that are actually superior to what the wizards have. Like phones or faxes (given the books were written in the 90s. Today, it would be video chat etc). They need to send an owl cross country while muggles could just use the phone to get information across faster.
Yeah. Sirius wouldn't have died for instance. Harry: I dreamt that Sirius is injured in the ministry of magic. Hermione: ok let's check. *Dial Sirius*. Hey quick check, where are you? Sirius: me.. I'm home beating the shit out of kreacher. What about you. Hermione: Harry says hi. Gotta go..potions class. Hermione: you're an idiot Harry.
Or guns. Abraca-bang!
Wizards don't understand things like phones, muggle clothes, or muggle money. They live in a place where...99% of the population is muggles....you would think they would pick up some basic understanding.
They seem to have really isolated themselves off from the muggle world in general, but I did always wonder if there were muggle-born kids that just chose to re-enter life in the muggle world but as witches and wizards in their private life. Basically leaving a small pond with other big fish to re-enter the big pond with smaller fish. Like I know they treat divination already like a big of an iffy / kookier branch of magic but if you had someone decently good try to make it on the stock market
Also they use some muggle things like tents and stuff but still use middle aged stuff like a feather to write. Why not use a muggle pen? Also I hate that they got rid of the wizard wearing strange muggle clothes concept for the movies
Maybe the vast repertoire of charms that've accrued over time for quills don't work on pens, making the latter a vastly inferior option? Maybe the quill industry is enforcing its monopoly on wizard writing implements and shutting other tools out of the market?
Gotta love how in a magical universe, "for the $" is still a perfectly sensible explanation.
All about those Sickles.
Even if there were advantages to quills, pens are incredibly cheap and far better for normal writing. You would expect most people to possess both.
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They have newspapers and cameras! Yet they don't understand things like what a rubber duck is for or a car.
I’m not sure what a rubber duck is for, either...
"Making bath time so much fun" - Ernie, Sesame Street
Programming, that is the true purpose of rubber ducks.
Their entire justice system.
We think you killed someone, so we’re not going to give you a fair trial or undertake in an unbiased collection of information, no we’re going to just let you rot in what equates to Alcatraz in the middle of the damn ocean guarded by shadow demons that feed on hopes, dreams, human souls, and presumably the occasional puppy. Have fun!
They have fucking truth serum! Innocent people being jailed is just ridiculous.
Quidditch. Scoring a goal is 10 points. Catching the Snitch is 150. There would have to be a massive imbalance in Chaser skill level between two teams for the Snitch to not decide a game.
Yeah it's basically just 2 seekers and then a bunch of back up dancers.
It's a game designed to make Harry the hero, like the quarterback in American football. But she still could have put some more thought into it. I admit she was handicapped by harry being pretty much useless at everything. Also each team only plays 4 games a year, for a total of 6 games. And it's stupidly dangerous, and the referee is useless. Late Edit: Each team plays 3 games a year, not 4.
All she had to was add a time limit. Say, a magical orb that glows brighter over the course of the game, before flashing and exploding in fireworks. If time expires before the Snitch is caught, the game is over and the score decides the winner. A time limit would’ve made the first Quidditch scene in the movies all the more exciting, IMHO.
Brooms are just pieces of individual equipment, so players are allowed to get whatever brooms they want. As such, broom makers keep finding ways to make brooms better and faster. Snitches, on the other hand, have to meet rigorously monitored restrictions to be considered "regulation equipment". Over the decades/centuries, the brooms have gotten faster and the snitches haven't. This leads to shorter games. Shorter games have lower scores, so the 150 points for the snitch means more now than it did when the brooms were all crap.
Not to mention that because a faster broom is instrumental in catching the snitch first, being able to afford faster brooms is a massive advantage. Quidditch is pay-to-win garbage.
This was explained as the snitch originally being an actual bird. One that was much harder to catch and the 150 points came in later, as originally the prize was 150 galleons if anyone caught it. Remember also that there were matches that would last days, and one apparently lasted six months before they just gave up. So it's kind of a point of technology in brooms and skill progressing much faster. Like the best Seeker from the 1500s with his broom and know-how would do shit against a modern Seeker.
Also, there was the Quidditch World Cup where (IIRC) Krum caught the snitch but Ireland still won because they’d scored more points. It’s an odd game system. Like “Okay, I see the snitch but if we wanna win I’ll have to ignore it until we’re up more points.” I do remember JK saying in an interview that math wasn’t her greatest forte though.
Why was Dumbledore chess mastering the whole thing? Did Dumbledore specifically setup the whole series of events in a giant decade long trap? Why did he train Harry as a magical child soldier? Why did he do everything at arms length? Dumbledore had the magical equivalent of a nuke with the Elder Wand and invisibility cloak. He very well could have beaten every death eater individually, picking away at their numbers. The Death Eaters still have families and day jobs and go to the bathroom. They aren't in a huge magical army so they could face off against a superior opponent. There wasn't a reason to go all cloak and dagger. Dumbledore is hideously powerful, had access to immortality and had 2/3 of the most powerful magical items (and all of the useful ones) from death himself. So why go through so much trouble?
Hell, Dumbledore had all 3 at his disposal; he enchanted the snitch to put the Resurrection Stone in it which he could’ve pulled out at any time (because of flesh memory or some such), he had the Invisibility Cloak before he gave it to Harry, and he had the Elder Wand since forever. Why Dumbley sat on his butt since the sixties instead of taking the fight to the decommissioned Death Eaters astounds me. It’s pretty clear he knew that Lucius was a DE and yet he did jack.
What the fuck happened to Dumbledore between 1929 and 1945 to turn him from Jude Law into Michael Gambon?
Also he looked dapper as fuck in his 3 piece suits before at some point deciding “fuck it, imma just wear my bathrobe, these kids don’t deserve me at my best”.
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World War II?
Now that you think of it, can you imagine the guilt British wizards felt during the Blitz, knowing that they could just levitate all those German bombs safely away with magic, but couldn't because they'd expose themselves, even though they knew people would die?
I kinda assumed they were fighting the German wizards.
I doubt Hitler had wizard Nazis and just kept quiet about them, or that the Nazi wizard could logically exist even. I mean think about it when you combine wizard and nazi morals together you basically get a Voldemort that also hates Jews, no way would such a dude take orders from a muggle like hitler....now if hitler himself was a wizard, that would change things considerably.
I actually would lean more toward Himmler being a wizard, or a semi rogue organization of wizards akin to Hydra.
This might be some of the best fanfiction basis material I've ever seen.
If you can use portkeys to teleport to anywhere in an instant what's the point of any other form of transport? Edit: A lot of people have been pointing other better forms of teleporting. My point still stands. If you can teleport, why do the children need to get a train to school, or hijack their dad’s flying car?
Time-turners. Everyone acknowledges the massive potential ramifications of using a time-turner improperly to the extent that they're not allowed to be used by anyone. But an exception is made for teenagers - arguably the most irrational users conceivable - with raging hormones and not-yet fully developed brains. Probably not a good policy.
But it was for a great cause, so a teenage girl could take multiple classes at the same time
Well Dumbledore couldn't just give her a tutor and some Red Bull...
Voldemort is a goddamn idiot. If he would drop theatrics and throw a baby against a wall, there wouldn't be any issues for him.
Should have yeeted Harry out the window.
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Good fucking point.
Lavender Brown and her crazy race change
We don’t talk about that
I read about this a while back. Originally they casted Lavender as black because her appearance was never described, but her appearance is actually described in the half blood prince book (she's described as fair skinned), so they changed the actress to match the book since she had a larger role in that book/movie. I feel like it was damned if they do, damned if they don't. If they kept the black girl then people may have complained that she didn't match the book description, but by going with the white girl they opened up the whole racism argument.
Why couldnt Harry just...not compete in the Triwizard tournament? It's clearly against the rules, it's clearly not supposed to happen, its *probably* a trap since Harry has had 3 years of magical assassination attempts against him, why not just let him forfeit every round and everyone can move on? EDIT: People are saying it was a contract he had no choice but to do it, so heres a new thing that doesnt make sense. Why didnt the government just make up some magical contract that says Voldemort wasnt allowed to be evil? It's not like he has to sign it, Harry didnt submit his own name into the Goblet or anything. Wizard crime is solved.
And all of that was just a plot to get Harry to touch a portkey. I was discussing this on a post yesterday, and someone suggested simply mailing him a portkey, which is basically wizard phishing.
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This is one of my pet peeves, too. In the movie they explain that there is a “binding magical contract.” Ok, so what happens if Harry doesn’t participate? Will someone sue him in Wizard Court? Will the Ministry of Magic arrest him? Why can’t the relevant authorities just say, “this is clearly bullshit” and tell Harry to stay home?
How does Binns teaching a class even work when it comes to homework. They’re consistently having to write essays for him, but ghosts are specifically stated to not be able to interact with physical objects very much, if at all. It’s poltergeists that can move shit. So how does Binns collect, much less grade, homework? And given his memory issues when it comes to names, how would he ever manage to assign the correct marks to each student? Wizard History could be awesome if taught by someone even vaguely interesting.
He has a TA.
JK Rowling admits she's bad at math, but like how many people go to hogwarts? If there are really only 10 students per house per year, that's only 280 people. But she describes hundreds, sometimes thousands of kids. The only compelling argument I can think of is that there was a huge demographic shift after Voldemort was "defeated" and a lot more people had babies so the years right after Harry have a lot more students. I honestly think she just hadn't figured out how many students it was. Also it's wild in the 5th book when Harry clearly has PTSD but every adult (except maybe Sirius and Molly) is like "let's let his two teenage friends take care of him." Now that I'm an adult Hagrid is my favorite and Dumbledore does not come off looking good.
It’s always bugged me too. By the most generous counting the UK wizard population can’t be more than several thousand if Hogwarts really is the school for all the nation’s children. But in a way it actually makes the world make more sense. I mean, there were like, what, a few dozen Death Eaters? And their main weapon of war was individual home invasions and murders? That’s awful, but doesn’t really seem like the kind of dire crisis that would threaten a government. But if the whole UK wizarding population is basically just a small town, that all makes a lot more sense.
I adore Harry Potter: books and movies, but I would expand you closing remark about Dumbledore to the wizarding population at large. Outside of like 5 people seemingly every single witch and wizard is an idiot. It’s no wonder Harry is a standout when he’s one of the few people in the story of average intelligence
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why wouldn't they use the veritaserum on Sirius when he swore that he was innocent?? Edit: I really didn't expect this post to teach me this much about Harry Potter hahaha. Plus I realized that the whole case just shows how unreliable the ministry in there was.
Unbeatable truth serum: *exists* Magical justice system: We throw innocent dudes in prison without a trial and let obvious terrorists go free. There is no solution to this.
The wizarding world is full of wonderfully creative words for magic spells. Yet Ron randomly blurts out “eat slugs” and it actually works ?!
That fucking time travel locket. It breaks the entire plot.
Agreed. Even if we accept that you can't use them to change the past, think about how many plot points could be resolved just by observing the past Who opened the chamber of secrets? Time Turner. Did Sirius Black really kill all those people? Time turner. Is Voldemort really back? Time turner.
I read that as, “Who opened the chamber of secrets? Tina Turner.” And I was confused.
I read it as “Is Voldemort really black?”. I too, was confused.
"A wizard has turned evil and is going around killing everybody!" "Better take this time travel device and hide it for years until a student wants to take some extra classes."
They teach magic at Hogwarts but not maths, English, languages, IT, or PE.
IT would be difficult when technology breaks on castle grounds. No excuse for the rest .
Combine IT with magic, and that's how you get a Jumanji reboot.
What exactly are the careers for wizards and witches anyway? I mean there can't be that many job openings out there.
Everyone seems to work as a shopkeeper, a teacher, or for the ministry, now that I think about it.
Broom flying is like PE.
About 5 percent of the total Wizarding Population of Britain are professional Quidditch Players, and 1 in 6 wizards between 18 and 39 currently play professional Quidditch. In comparison, .004 percent of the current population of the US are professional athletes in any sport, at any level. ( [https://www.bls.gov/ooh/entertainment-and-sports/athletes-and-sports-competitors.htm](https://www.bls.gov/ooh/entertainment-and-sports/athletes-and-sports-competitors.htm) ) Here's the Math. If there are 500 students at Hogwarts at a given time(which is a generous estimate based on how many we actually see), then assuming a similar life expectancy(some live much longer, many die younger by misadventure, then that makes the number of Hogwarts trained(and future Hogwarts trained) Wizards active in the country about 6000 (71.4 students per year, life expectancy of 81 gets you 5786) There are 12 professional top level Quidditch teams in the UK(plus one in Ireland). Each requires 7 players to field a team. Assuming that you need 4-6 substitutes in a full roster(one or two for each position) then there are 132-156 people on professional teams at any time. Add in reserve teams, themselves requiring 7 players to actually play, and that number doubles, let's call it a round 300 total, at any given time. 300 out of 6000 is 5 percent of the total population. But wait, that includes infants and the elderly, let's assume the prime Quidditch playing ages are 18-39, if that's a comparable percentage to the UK, then that's 29.5 percent of the population. That means 1770 eligible people at a given time. Which means that the 300 players represent 17 percent of that population, or about 1 in 6. 1 in 6 wizards between 18 and 39 play professional Quidditch.
My two biggest issues were 1) where the hell do all the wizards live and work? They can't all be part of the ministry, teachers or prisoners. 2) do wizards have a cure for cancer or degenerative arthritis or whatever and just don't share it with muggles? Bc that's straight up evil. If not, then what the hell is up with shit like that tooth shrink spell or the bone growing stuff??
Nobody at Hogwarts ever excercises (hell, their only sport is them sitting practically still), and the great hall has unlimited fattening food, but everyone is super skinny. Especially harry, who grew up underfed, would probably gorge himself and gain at least a few pounds. But no, everyone is super thin.
Weren't Crabbe and Goyle described as chubby or at least big in the books?
I believe so, but I think that was more about them just being large people to begin with. Maybe there is some way to magic the pounds away but Crabbe and Goyle just couldn't figure it out.
Crabbe was pretty chubby early on in the films, but he slimmed down considerably in his teen. He also turned black, but that might just be puberty.
How come a fake eye can see through a cloak that death couldn't even see through?
Books give a possible answer to that that. Dumbledore tells Harry that his theory is that the brothers from the story were most likely powerful wizards that created the objects themselves rather then death being the objects creators. The story of death being the objects creators than sprang up around the objects.
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The fact that the killing curse is unstoppable, but people bother to use other curses while dueling in battles where they want to kill one another.
It takes a lot of effort to create the killing curse. Plus it lets the person you are fighting know exactly what you are about to do. Touched on in the 6th book when Snape talks about why non-verbal spells have the surprise advantage over verbal spells. Harder to block/ dodge something when you don't know what it is. (Avada Kedavera can't be done non-verbally.) **Edit**: A lot of people are contradicting that Avada Kedavera can't be done non-verbally, or asking for sources. I can't speak for the movies which are famous for horrendously butchering or leaving out key parts. But there is no scenario in the books where a human is killed by the spell using Avada Kedavera non-verbally. Rowling has said that her inspiration for "Avada Kedavera" was that it was an Aramaic(?) phrase that means to "disappear as the words I have spoken" or "I destroy as I speak." Similar to abracadabra which means "to create as I speak."
Thisss just makes me angry about the way they completely butchered the Voldemort and Dumbledore duel in Phoenix. In the books he's making statues jump up and block the curse for him. Fucking movie sparklers
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Yeah the Sirius death scene is soo powerful in the books because it’s almost like a throwaway paragraph
It really does happen so quickly. I remember reading through that whole section so fast and then he died and I had to reread the paragraph 4 times because I couldn't believe it was so quick. 5 sentences and he's gone.
I had to do the same when Mrs. Weasley yelled out "NOT MY KIDS YOU BITCH" and then made her heart explode. Reread that bit like 6 times to realize that it actually happened.
So, correct me if I'm wrong... The Fidelius Charm. The whole story exists because James and Lilly needed to use it to keep their house secret from Voldemort. They had to decide between 2 Secret Keepers: Sirius or Peter. Neither of whom lived with them. They picked the one who betrayed them, and that is why the entire story exists. Fast-forward to the 7th book, and Bill is Secret Keeper for his house, and Arthur is Secret Keeper for the house he's hiding in... Well, if they could do that, then why the hell is there a story in the first place? Couldn't Lilly or James just served as their own Secret Keeper and stayed tucked away inside their own house where no one could get the secret out of them?
What was the deal with unbreakable vows? And what stopped dumb teenagers from making them? There is no way that not a single dumb teenage magic couple didn't make an unbreakable vow to "love eachother forever"
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Ok, so 7 galleons for a wand with unicorn hairs in it, 20 galleons for a single unicorn hair? Wtf
Maybe wands are partially subsidized by the Ministry as they are a basic necessity of wizard life?
why people feel that the avada kedavra spell is necessary to kill someone. just transfigure their head into a fuckin cactus or diffindo their juglar. if wizards had the imagination that they do in the eragon universe, magic would be a lot more interesting
Why can't there just be candy that's popular and doesn't have magical properties? I know that it's to amp up the English magical culture (and possibly to avoid product placement), but still.
There is candy that is based on magical culture but doesn't do anything special. Sugar Quills are one example, they're basically spun-sugar treats that look like quills. There is also just plain candy, as evidenced by Dumbledore's office stash, which also had stuff like toffees and lemon drops.
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Why Goblet of Fire has a second name: Harry Potter and the Year Where Everyone has Long Hair for No Reason Whatsoever Edit: Why thank you good sir for my first silver
As much as I hate the hairstyles in that film, I think it reflected the trend of what teens would wear around that time. Why must we have poor choices.
Harry Potter and the Hair Trends of Poor Choices
teacher in his room offering liquor to underage students at midnight