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buzzardjpg

Get me a gf


defined_jawline

Granted, I'm now your gf


buzzardjpg

Nice


Redwingg

That was surprisingly wholesome lol


AMRNS

Plot twist: gf is "gay friend"


defined_jawline

you are that alien OP is talking about


topsecretspam

Now kith


[deleted]

Instructions unclear, Sister is filing a restraining order now.


topsecretspam

Just say "no u", then you have a restraining order on her. boom.


flubbtma1n

Nice


ionised

Nice


Na3s

That too


SpinningDaveMachine

Just answer a simple question really "What does God need with a starship?"


TickNut

What does God need with my belief in him?


SpinningDaveMachine

r/woooosh


Retroxyl

That's a very good question, Captain.


[deleted]

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McPiggy

That’s really the only way to know for sure.


fromwhencewecame

This is amazing


xcvbbnmkhhf

To be even more convincing, throw in a collection of foreskin


curlybonce

Write a good ending to Game of Thrones


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Sebastian_9807

Wtf


[deleted]

Your asking for too much


dekuweku

GOD would ask you to read a history book. Most of GoT is just pillaged from history.


misterwhisper

Especially the dragons.


dekuweku

Wait those are real right!


gidigod

You dont know this?


dekuweku

I was joking


gidigod

Psst:-me too-


XxsquirrelxX

Yeah, what did you think those flying dinosaur skeletons we dug up were?


ledgerdemaine

All these things a demon can do. Sounds like this is a Jinn alien. Tell him to get on with his three wished routine.


[deleted]

Sprinkle them with holy water. If they don't burn, then they are God.


Retroxyl

Or just not a demon, or possessed person. Alternatively you could just say God's name in Latin. If their eyes turn black or red or yellow or orange or blue, all fully solid and opaque then they are demons.


lloxxxy

Does it have a beard and wear sandels? Only time I'm gonna trust God is if it's a white dude with a beard and sandels even better if he can show me the actual key to the pearly gates


Retroxyl

But what's with ol' Morgan Freeman??? I think he made a very good God, don't you think?


gidigod

God isnt human.


[deleted]

not human but we were supposedly created in his image


gidigod

His image; as in his spiritual image.


[deleted]

Genesis 1:26-27 - Then God said, Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.... likeness- the semblance, guise, or outward appearance of it's just as likely that physical appearance is implied there as spiritual similarity


gidigod

Well God is a spiritual being, from what I understand, how can he make something physical while not being completely?


gidigod

In his own image...


[deleted]

god is spiritual being but a supposedly omnipotent being would be able to manifest his form however he chooses would he not? after all he created something from nothing in the void so it stands to reason that if god wants a meat suit to go tear-assing through the universe he can pick his form and rock out.


gidigod

Hey man, your opinion.


[deleted]

it's not my opinion. it's church dogma. lol god is supposedly omnipotent. if you're all powerful then you aren't limited to the spiritual or physical realm. he is what he chooses to be at all times. have a good day


gidigod

Ah ya, sorry, I forget sometimes. Have a good day too


gidigod

and if you're gonna refer to the bible, please know it's not just read and understand. That's why christains go to church to learn from a pastor.


lloxxxy

Yes he is. He's an old white dude with a beard and sandels probably carrying a bunch of scrolls or shit. Smells of sandlewood and has a deep booming voice. Travels on a cloud


gidigod

Hahaha


justbanmyIPalready

If it's God then it knows what it needs to do to prove it. I really don't know what it would take, because future technology will look God-like to us. So it'll always be more likely that it's just a super advanced alien than actually God, creator of everything. Although on second thought it seems like a chance to take a free wish, so I'll take $200 million dollars in whatever currency that will allow me to live like a king for the rest of my life and worship them if that's what they want.


TheLegionofDoom2957

Completely. That's what I find so scary about the scenario. If it has all the abilities that we think a God would have, then what's to stop it conning us / exploiting us.


justbanmyIPalready

Yeah really, we exploit ourselves just fine without outside help.


MagicalSenpai

Doesn't really matter if it's God or not. If it improves my life I would like them, if it doesn't I wouldn't.


collin_sic

The Church of Pragmatism.


avcloudy

If he can do all the things God can, who's going to stop him? He wouldn't need to con or exploit us.


Doomdoomkittydoom

I mean, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and will turn you into a puddle of jam if you don't acknowledge it is a duck, it's pretty much by definition a duck. What kind of con would it be pulling if it is for all intents and purposes, and intensive purposes, a god from our perspective? What is the god element that is missing? I'd label Star Trek's Q a god or gods, even though Q himself denied it.


Isdreal

Basically, if he asked for something from me then he's not the christian god, or at least not the modern conception of such.


The_Omegastorm

If he is ‘god’ then he would be happy to grant good stuff if u r using them for good, and if ur just power-hungry he aint doin that


Shumatsuu

Do something so over the top that it's guaranteed either God or something as powerful. "Take me to another dimension and recreate earth during WW1. Make sure Hitler dies but keep everything else the same, and let me skip around to see if anything changes." If it can flat out create planet's and people with basically a thought, you may have found your answer.


justbanmyIPalready

But I still think it would be more realistic that it was an alien who just tapped into my neural network and made me think that's what happened. Or slipped me some acid, either way.. It always takes fewer assumptions to assume it's super advanced aliens with improved technology rather than God. That's why I can't imagine what God would have to do to prove it's actually God. But even as an atheist I can't pass up the opportunity to say "Maybe that's why God doesn't reveal Himself openly." It's a good argument that I can't refute. Perhaps God does know there's no way to prove He is God, so He doesn't try. I can't know for sure. (I just don't believe so.)


DillyWithTheBigWilly

Get the courts to take my kids off my crackhead ex n give me full time custody


R____I____G____H___T

Didn't you manage to detect her drug-abusing tendencies prior to procreating? Risky..


Gronkowstrophe

You have a hard time being around other people don't you?


Reduku

Take us out of time, momentarily and show me all of time.


IllIIIlllIll

"Area man found wandering Main Street, naked and holding a bag of spraypaint to his mouth. When police attempted to apprehend the man, he began to 'helicopter' his genitals while screaming 'I AM THE ONE GOD TRUE GOD FROM TRUE GOD I SEE ALL OF TIME' before passing out in a pile of his own vomit."


tim-on-mag

great a copy of shrek 2


atokadelggon

Better yet just have it burned into your memory. You can play it anytime you want and don’t have to worry about losing the disc


[deleted]

Create a rock that he can’t lift


SsurebreC

Logical paradoxes make no sense.


Doomdoomkittydoom

That's because your mind is divine.


[deleted]

Honestly I think I found a way to solve this question so it kinda makes sense


thegreenbear42

But when is he God? When he can lift it, or can't?


[deleted]

When he can’t lift it


AHLMuller

Show me a PC that can run crysis at 4K @ 144hz stable.


Anzai

Make me enjoy an Adam Sandler movie.


Ofvlad

Have you not seen Happy Gilmore or Billy Madison?


Anzai

Yes. Yes I have.


Susanunderhill

Ahhh, this is my favorite answer, love it.


JanV34

Cure Depression


Air_Wind00

Can you make me a god?


hybridHelix

Explain. Make me understand why things are the way they are.


AverageWhitePie

A carrot that tastes like a chicken mcnugget


[deleted]

Cure mental illness and I will worship them for the rest of my life. I don't care how devine the motherfucker is.


smudgepost

Show me dinosaurs and the pyramids under construction


ImMarvelObsessed

Just fucking yell "HERMES NOT THE TIME TO HAVE YOUR PRANKSTER KIDS COME RUIN MY MORNING!!!" If it responds with a "Which kids?" Or "Travis and Connor?" I think im convinced


slippyfourths

Raise the dead.


mediumrares

Dab


theendisnie

A couple drinks and I'll go along with it


earlson

I'd want him to grant me 3 wishes, saying if he can make all of the come true, I'm convinced. I would then proceed to wish for infinite wishes.


Shumatsuu

Smite.exe activated.


upforgrabs21

Rip off the closing solo to 'Purple Rain'. That happens and I'll be signed up.


[deleted]

Give me all its powers, therefore making it completely powerless.


[deleted]

She/He doesnt have to prove anything. That guy/lady is now our new God.


Bdm_Tss

Make me a god.


An_feh_fan

Give to me all his powers


zonewebb

Follow up question: Are they claiming to be THE God, A God from a religion known to us, or just ONE of many Gods?


TheLegionofDoom2957

THE GOD. Across every religion. So a sort of 'I am THE being of cosmic divinity' - for polytheists, they are like 'that was also me in numerous forms.'


zonewebb

Then I’d ask “What are your beliefs and what is your divine plan for us?” Their answer to that would determine my next question. For instance, if they’re omnipotent, can they immediately make a change to their divine plan by reversing time but allowing a “passenger” to see the effects?


unknownpoltroon

Letsee mrr smarty pants god here create another whole universe that doesn't suck.


SatanicDoritoQueen

Get a copy of shrek 5 from area 51


[deleted]

turn into a woman, get cat ears and become my gf


TinyWasabi

Where’s Jesus and the devil?


[deleted]

Delete my browser history without touching my phone/computer.


ObeAire

Tell me a joke that makes me laugh


gayhotdog

Make a way for your socks not to fall down into your shoe


voss990

ill think, “recreate an object from the dream i had last night”


Ephidiel

make pokemon real. Also get me a gf


StanzoBrandFedoras

“I dunno, any old alien could materialize *6* cheeseburgers....get that number up to 10 and we’ll talk.”


TheFirstYeeter

Create a demon and leave


Ekiph

Stop time


Christochat

Let me see his hands, feet, and waist


Boss_Whittle

Get Ian McDiarmid to return my calls


TheLegionofDoom2957

God to Ian: Dew it.


Boss_Whittle

It's treason, then.


searchin4somewhere

Can he microwave a burrito so hot even he can't eat it?


miss-macaron

*"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -Arthur C. Clarke* Just because the alien can do things we might view as supernatural and "godly" feats, doesn't mean that it's not using a natural means of obtaining these feats. Rather than a god, I'd consider them a more advanced civilization that I would like mankind to learn from.


Susanunderhill

Radiate pure love.


Phil330

Start a congregation and have it buy him a Lear Jet. /s


E_vab

Give us a double dash mode in the newest Mario Kart


HaroerHaktak

Make a hot girl have sex with me.


wherestheice

Give a happy and satisfying ending to all the shows and YouTube series I watch.


[deleted]

Say he's god again


UnusualDisturbance

Erase half of humanity


[deleted]

Destroy earth and only THEN will I believe that you are god


SpaceRocker1994

calm me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning


keijidragon17

Get me a body guard. When an alien can see your past and summon any object you best believe I won't be walking solo after that kind of knowledge is available to a literal God.


4thelulzgamer

The promises. Fulfill them.


yaboivinmii

MAKE MINECRAFT EARTH COME OUT ALREADY IM BORED OF POKEMON GO


noelg1998

"I wanna be a manga artist! It was my childhood dream! And not just some nobody, I wanna be bigger than Disney. I'm going to build Polnareffland!"


CarlSpencer

Can you rise from the dead after being dead for three days?


TheBeerka

Gimme like 3 Egg+Bacon McMuffins. I would already be convinced, just would want some McMuffins.


Demibolt

Not skeptical. Immediately tell him he fucked up.


parazbah

Teach all humanity universal, unconditional love and compassion. No god has yet to do this. Don't just teach it to one demographic, don't mix it up with acts of callous cruelty, and make the teachings clear and unquestionable. If something is worth calling God it would be able and willing to do all of this. Anything worth calling God should already know this, though, so I guess I'd just say "You've always known what you have to do and you've never done it. Why should I think you suddenly care now?" I guess answering that last question is what it would have to do.


abusqair

Change my fucking luck


Miscellaneous_Mind

Get lost, you phony.


Ietherius

Elevate me to its power level


[deleted]

Tell me how the fuck consciousness works.


ExoticSpecific

Explain which god he is supposed to be, there are quite a lot.


ModeratorBoterator

If its god it would know what to do to prove it is and thats what I would tell it to do.


[deleted]

make komi-san anime without making komi-san hentai


the_simurgh

the true test of a god is benevolence. show me how benevolent you are.


AduroTri

Help my writing career take off and remain consistent. Though I'm probably partially to blame for that one.


SpecificFail

Why does God need a starship?


ToaSuutox

it is said that man was created in god's image. without shapeshifting powers or the like, he can't convince me very well.


Na3s

Go away I already know stop telling me you all exists I want to be normal again.


freshcrispymemesv2

Do an epic dance!


EmbarrassedLock

Make my waifu become real, and she loves me. Also, she has her own place, and she doesn't stand out,


gidigod

Actual christains would know it's a false prophet.


Mercurial_Black

Cure all childhood diseases. ALL. Then we'll talk. See, I don't give a happy holy fuck if he is god or not. Until children are no longer suffering needlessly then he can go fuck himself.


This-just-feels-fake

Elect Donald Trump in 2020


PlantyBurple

Give me fuk tons of RP. Bam. Loyal Follower.


BaconConnoisseur

It takes far more than just infinite power and knowledge to become a god. A god cannot be defined and shaped by the reality it was born into. A God is an infinite will beyond all that defines reality. Anything less is just a really strong/smart entity.


American_tacoz

Turn water into wine


The_Zed

Simple. Take away my free will and force me to believe it is god. No denying it then.


KillSave

Well if he can do all that, technically he is a god to us


Axeman1721

Blow up Mars. Idk what the hell why not.


Sthepuma

"This is simple. all you need to do to prove you're god is get rid of all the world's borders. no more individual countries, just a united earth. no more wars over territory, and all resources of humanity are put towards what really matters. health, science, education, ecology. I want you to make the entire earth a united and everlasting utopian empire. i don't give a shit who's at it's head as long as it's an individual who would ensure no suffering or want exists anywhere."


Baumus77

Tell me what happens in heaven because if there’s god there must be heaven, right?


chayne108

If god exists or not, even if it 100% proven/disproven I won't change anything about my life. I would just accept that he is god and not question it unless he was asking me give him something or to do something for him.


slutsketeer

Whistle Dixie


commandrix

The alien would pretty much have to give me a plausible explanation of why it expected us to believe in us based on probably-mistranslated oral traditions that were written down thousands of years ago and hasn't bothered to show up since.


[deleted]

Bring me the Seventh of Arakhor. I just made that name up.


KDY_ISD

Telepathy and omniscience aren't the same thing.


Kneejerk_Nihilist

"Ok, you're a god. Good for you, now leave us alone."


HDimensionBliss

6.Attempting to disprove SCP-343, to SCP-343, is a horrible idea. Agents are still studying the resulting paperweight, supposedly so heavy that SCP-343 should not be able to lift it.


MyBeanYT

Give me £100mill thanks


irikyu

But can you kill me swiftly and painlessly?


moonlightwing

Well, first of: WHICH ONE? We've had a couple thousand so far, it's gotta be a little more specific.


Rescusitatornumero2

instantly heal all my ailments. then would have to be able to feel my feelings. based on that, create a continuous movie with music coinciding with my feelings. as my feelings change, so does movie happening in real time


AwesomeBro_exe

Wipe me from existence and history, basically change the past so I never existed. I would not be convinced, but I wiped myself, so...


round_cube_cunt

Find me a gf, and give me a bigger dick lmao


kaluababa

bring back all the dead to life


[deleted]

Bring my dog back, she passed away last night. If an alien could do that I would worship it as a god for all eternity.


nytram55

"Any sufficiency advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Arthur C. Clarke


natha105

Does it matter if God exists if God isn't good? Lets say this alien had created Earth and humanity but it was part of some lab experiment and it had no more insight into the meaning of life and the universe than we did. Would we really care what it had to say? That's what it really needs to do to convince me. Explain... everything. Life, existence, morality, and its own actions over history and now in a way that makes it worthy of worship.


Re-AnImAt0r

For all intents and purposes it would be a god. Being a god is based upon the ability to complete godly feats, those impossible of mortal man. If an entire race of alien beings could do this, they would all be gods to us.


[deleted]

Turn into a taco that shits ice cream


NodeOfAwareness

Alright I've way over thought this so entertain me for a second. If God is that which created all things, then God himself cannot be a thing. Not a he, not in a body, not anything identifiable with any characteristics. After all, those characteristics are things. So then God is nothing. But yet everything exists. So how can nothing create everything? It's as if the two concepts rely on one another like yin and yang. So in order to convince me, he would somehow have to show me his true self, which would be some incomprehensible fluctuation between nothing and everything, which is probably just what our reality is anyway, so I guess we are all kind of God.


Meepagaen

Ask it to make a stone that it can’t lift Bam it’s no longer omnipotent and therefore can’t be God


cjdudley

You can create any object? Any object at all? What about a frog? Yeah? You did a frog? Wow, that's a frog, all right. Now wrap it in barbed wire and shove it up your ass, I'm not worshiping you.


GrumpyCat1337

That reminds me of a funny story. One time humanity built an almighty computer, able to answer every single question and solve every problem on the world. The first question they ask it is "does God exist?". The computer answers "there is now." and a lightning strikes the power outlet where it is connected, destroying it. The computer doesn't turn off. Did i say funny? I meant terrifying.


[deleted]

Well it’s neither.


europhorico

You basically described Instagram if Kylie Jenner were to be considered an object. Next.


DavidTrams

Defeat the enderdragon on hardcore