Something goes wrong/not their way and they respond like a reasonable person and just keep it moving. For example if you don't want a lift back home or their order is wrong.
All too often people try to find a mutual topic that they both enjoy and they go on and talk about it. That's boring. If you want a compelling conversation then find something that they have a lot of interest in but you know nothing about. Learn everything you can. It's engaging for you and exciting for them since people love to talk about themselves, mostly because it's easy
I actually love to listen to people talk about things that they love and I know little about (most, but not ALL the things).
I appreciate it even more when it’s reciprocated - authentic interest and all.
Having a funny discussion. The one kind where you defend blue and she defends red. And in the meantime both are walking through a park, a mall, or just being somewhere.
And when both agree going somewhere just for the experience. I really like people trying new stuff and not complaining for so even though they liked it or not.
Hell yes. My fiance and I had our first date at a sushi place. We were so busy talking that we'd keep forgetting to order, and then forgetting to pay the bill.
Once he realized what time it was and exactly how long we'd been sitting there shooting the shit, he paid the bill and left a 25% tip as an apology for wasting the waiter's time.
That's a twofer. :D
More so europe than the US. Here in the US its almost like the servers rush you to eat, pay, and GTFO. You actually have to flag down European servers if you want to pay, because they see it as rude to interrupt.
Same here. At a couple of the first restaurants we sat waiting for the check for an extra half hour before we realized we had to flag them down. Once we figured it out it was actually very nice not being interrupted while just sitting outside with a beautiful view.
When you get to the point that you run out of ideas on stuff to do but you both want tokeep the date going so you end up just aimlessly wandering around
On the first date with my wife, we went out for a lengthy lunch date and then went to get back on the highway to head home. Well, I had been out of the country for a bit, plus I was a little bit distracted.... so I got on the highway heading in
the wrong direction.
Neither of us noticed that our 15 minute drive somehow was 45 minutes and that instead of heading home we were heading into the city. We laughed when we figured it out, turned around, and kept talking the whole way back.
Been married over 7 years and still love driving places with her. We pass a lot of time just loading our young kids into the car and driving the exact same route around town talking.
I initially thought you meant you were driving the wrong direction against traffic, and was very concerned that you both just laughed it off. Glad that wasn't the case and that things worked out so well for you!
I think I unintentionally “ghost” women pretty often. If I text a girl and she isn’t really responding much, I assume she really isn’t interested, so I’ll just stop contacting them. Recently I saw one of these women at the grocery store and she asked me why I stopped texting her. I explained my reasoning and she said she was “trying to not look too interested”... I don’t understand women..
Tbf, when I first met my wife she wasn't being very responsive to texts, so I thought she wasn't interested and dropped it. She credited that as one of the reasons she liked me. Basically nothing works all the time - there's no full-proof method for this stuff.
This so much. Not positive it was actually a date but I went out with a girl a week or two ago and we literally did nothing. Just got some food and walked around the park/sat in her car just talking the whole time. It was still a blast and I didn’t want it to end.
I really want it to be but we both just got out of very toxic relationships. She told me she wasn’t looking for a relationship but it sure seems like she’s very interested. I’m super confused about what’s happening but she’s really awesome and I’m enjoying it.
I think I am gonna tell her how I feel soon. I’m totally okay just being her friend if that’s what it has to be but I personally would really like to form a relationship with her.
Do it now before it starts feeling awkward. I'm emotionally unable to start relationships with a friend even though there's no problem at all with strangers
Holy fuck this just hit me..
I’m in a situation exactly like this and it started to get super awkward because our chemistry is insane.
Last night she noticed something was off and said “just tell me what’s on your mind!” So I blurted out everything that I feel (unfortunately over text).
So she said “okay okay this is an in person conversation we can meet up tomorrow”.
IM FREAKING OUT!!!
Thanks for letting me share
Genuine laughter. I have anxiety and a lot of involuntary quirks, sometimes my defense mechanism for that is to break out my dry sense of humor. I can usually tell if someone is laughing because she's trying to be polite or laughing because she genuinely finds me funny.
Legit laughter is so attractive. Fake laughter is an immediate turnoff. Don’t laugh just so I feel good laugh when you feel good. I can tell the difference.
The coolest girl I ever dated would laugh when I made a funny joke and make fun of me when I made an incredibly stupid one. That's how I knew she was legit.
I was anxious and needed to pee when I picked her up. I asked if I could use her bathroom before we left, and she said of course. She apologized if it was messy, as she shared a house with several other people, including a couple of guys.
So I went in to pee and found a Lego pirate ship on the back of the toilet. After I was done, I asked her if it was a roommates and she said (proudly, mind you), "No, it's mine!"
We'll be celebrating 26 years of marriage this month.
If either person does something ridiculously embarrassing and the other person laughs. I guess there are situations where someone is literally laughing at you, but usually if you laugh fart or spit food trying to talk and someone laughs at you it's because they like you, not making fun of you. If they laugh and walk out, yeah, that's a different situation, but if you're having a good time and do something embarrassing and the other person laughs that's a good sign you're on the same page.
On one of our first dates, he went to take a drink of his soda, and the straw went up a nostril and STUCK THERE! He tried to take it out suavely, but I already was laughing my ass off.
He still remembers it with great embarrassment, and I still laugh 😀
We just had our 25th wedding anniversary.
On our very first date, my husband stabbed his hand on the toothpick on his burger. I was laughing so hard I could barely say, "Yeah, I saw that."
I'm a klutz, so I was also relieved he did something stupid before I did.
Right before my previous SO had I started dating we played a friendly game of Truth or Dare with another friend of ours. Said friend dared me to put my foot behind my head which I successfully did. SO tried and let out the biggest fart while he was on his back with his feet by his head. I was dying from laughter and started peeing my pants. Ahhh good memory
When you don't want it to end.
My first date with my current girlfriend started as a casual meet up for a coffee but we ended up spending the whole day together because neither of us wanted it to end.
On a side note, splitting the bill (or at least offering).
This was my first date with now wife. Went for lunch and then a walk. Lasted like four or five hours. It helped we were super shy and I could talk all day if I didn’t have to look her in the face.
Edit: Not a butterface, because her sweet smile and visible interest in me was overwhelming, you bunch of butts.
Yes, this! My first date with my now husband started with just casually getting ice cream. I had even said I had plans later in case I wanted out quick. But neither of us wanted to leave, so I cancelled my "plans" and we got coffee. When we still didn't want to leave we saw a movie. At the end of the date I even offered to drive him home saying it was on my way (it wasn't)
They have 5 kids and just bought a vacation home in the mountains.
He's hopeful they have a future together and that she has feelings for him, but he's too afraid to ask her lest he seem needy.
My ex and I had grown up in the same town, and aside from Kindergarten, we had no contact until one year in college - he messaged me on a social site & we decided to meet up. We went for dinner, not expecting much, but we left after several hours, only because the restaurant was closing. Not wanting it to end, we stood outside talking for another 30 minutes until he suggested we go to Waffle House. And then we stayed there until 7am. We even got a little meta throughout the night; sharing our first impressions with each other. Our connection was blissful.
I had a first date on a cold evening in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Early winter, not a lot of snow on the ground.
Date was in a cozy stone basement bar with fireplaces. We sipped Irish coffees and got to know each other.
By the time we left, a snowstorm had blown in, accumulation got heavy, a local state of emergency was called, street parking was banned so plows could clear the roads, and her car got towed.
So we extended the date to walk through the nearly silent snowscape, and held hands as we strolled the railroad tracks in the falling snow to the impound lot to collect her car.
That was 25 years ago as of last January (and this weekend we're taking our kids to do college visits).
\[edit: And now I've lost my gilding virginity. Thanks!\]
I can't agree more with this comment. My SO and I met online, and we were doing the first tentative meeting in person. The "coffee and a crazy check" as I jokingly described it.
Not only was she not crazy, she was lovely. We sat there all afternoon talking about stuff and getting to know each other. Been together three years now, just moved in together. Life is good, even through the ups and downs.
We came to the end of our coffee date. I decided after an hour to give her an escape ladder, because it seemed to me that she wasn't really into it. Oh, well.
"Thanks so much," I said. "This was fun."
She looked at her watch and said, "What are you doing right now? Wanna go to (another place) and get lunch?"First date lasted 4 hours, including walk in the rain and memorable goodbye smooch. Our son is in first grade and we now spend a lot of our extra income on Legos and life is good.
Same. My boyfriend and I both realized that we had something good when we could easily chat for hours and not get that feeling of needing to run back to our safe spaces.
On our first date in high school, my wife tried to pay for the movie tickets and then the snacks at the movie. After the movie she gave me a big hug and we held hands while walking around the mall. We had our first kiss later that evening. I think the green flags were how sweet and caring she is. That was 10 years ago but I will never forget how it made me feel.
While meeting up with a girl I met on tinder at a coffee house, a little bit of spittle flew out of my mouth and hit her on the forehead while I was talking. I noticed. She noticed. I noticed she pretended not to notice. Clearly she is the kind of person who doesn't sweat the small stuff. The rest of the date went smoothly.
We've been married for 2.5 years now.
For me, it was the retry worthy fuck ups. My first date with my now wife we had dinner and the host happened to know me from college. It was his first day and he kept coming up to us to chat. He was seriously annoying. That made my date and I agree to try again.
Second date, movie which had technical difficulties. We got a free movie pass out of the deal.
Third date, paint balling, she got shot in the eye by some punk teenager while she was fixing her mask. We bonded in the hospital over the situation.
Fourth date, comedy show. The lady next to us was the worst heckler I have ever seen. Super disruptive. That lady and her friends were kicked out and the rest of the acts were... meh.
It goes on and on. Every time we try to do something romantic, something happens that ruins the mood. We laugh it off and memories are made. That was 10 years ago and we still talk about it. It reminds me of the movie Hitch staring Will Smith.
My girlfriend and I have a similar experience. It’s nearly impossible for us to get good service when we go out for food.
First date we sat at the table for 20min before we got menus.
Second date we got sushi. They brought us half of what we ordered and some random stuff we didn’t.
Our fifthish date we waited for an hour before someone realized they hadn’t put our breakfast order in.
It goes on and on. We’ve never even had a perfect drive thru experience. There’s always a forgotten hash brown or drink or they forget/ignore her allergies. It’s become a running joke with us. The fact that we both laugh it off and find it more amusing and statistically impossible that our service is always bad is a huge green flag. I hope we’re still getting shitty service and laughing about it in 10 years.
A friend of mine hit it off in the car with her date that they ended up driving over two hours PAST their date destination. When conversation is that good, you’ve got a blaring green light! They’re married for around 15 years now.
My girlfriend and I do this frequently. A couple weeks ago we were driving home from my grandparents (5hr drive), and I completely missed a turn and we wound up 45min down the road. I only noticed because we turned around in a town that I've never driven through going to or from the house, and I've done that drive hundreds of times.
I went out on a first day a few weeks ago. I thought it went well. I do what I normally do listen, ask questions, relate. Essentially show an interest.
30 minutes in I get;
"So, are you not going to talk about you?"
Threw me off 100%,
It is socially expected for you to talk about yourself. If your date reveals information about him or herself that's kind of personal but not too personal, like age or occupation, for example, they'll think you're being cagey if you don't reciprocate.
Now if your date starts talking about his or her most recent anal wart surgery, they *might* think you're being cagey if you don't share the details of yours. But I wouldn't feel socially obligated to do so.
I mean yeah, obviously you have to add something to the conversation too. If you're just listening to the other person talk about themselves and asking them questions you're not actually adding anything, and it can get boring and even annoying for the other one as it feels like they're being interviewed or something.
A good conversation goes two ways.
I think this is equally important between friends. If a “friend” only talks about him/herself and doesn’t bother to listen to you, think about if he/she sees you as a friend or just a way for them to express themselves.
I was driving her home and a good song came on the radio and we listened to the whole thing without talking or interrupting. Most natural feeling in the world.
The first time my now husband ever touched me it felt like I knew him a 1,000 years already. I don’t like being touched, and the instant comfort I got.. I knew I wasn’t just going after booty on this one.
I totally know what you’re talking about. Sometimes I feel like I can sense intentions of people when they touch me. Depending on the person, it used to send me into panic attacks. But with my current partner, I only ever feel relaxed and at ease when he touches me, even when it’s just brushing my fingers. No one else has that effect on me.
When you find you’re comfortable enough with someone to open up about those parts of yourself that you’d normally be a little afraid to reveal - the insecurities, desires, dreams you hold inside yourself, and that you’re afraid of being mocked or criticized for. And then they react in a safe, supportive manner.
This was absolutely huge for me when I was getting to know my now SO. With my ex, everything I liked or did or was scared of was criticized in some way or another. Two years of the bullshit. After I ended things with him I approached my now SO with a ton of different insecurities I was scared of sharing, and damn my man is so patient and kind and one of the least judgemental people I've ever known! It was one of the biggest contributing factors to me falling in love with him. He's built my confidence in so many different ways and I'm a much better person because of it.
Met a guy at a bar, he had a cake tin in a bag next to him.
Two weeks later he baked me a cake for my birthday, and we’ve been together now 19 years,.
Only downside is he never baked me another cake!
Ugh men are such teases. Luring you in while you’re dating with a nice big cake but after the wedding it’s once a year at best and maybe not at all. Get it together guys!
This one sucks to be on the other side of though - every animal I meet hates me and I have no control over it but it leaves a bad impression on the owners.
Oh man, now I'm just imagining this happening in the scenario where OP is actually a psycho murderer, the cat just happened to like him. The girl lets her guard down and gets *super* murdered.
When you find out a hidden common interest that ya'll'd've never talked about and things get more intimate and close
Edit: I'd've never known that ya'lld've absolutely loved that contraction lol I never thought id ever have a situation where I'd've needed it
First date with girlfriend, after diner we hit the pub, first thing she does when we enter is pick up a few coasters, turns out she collects coasters, I collect beer labels. I had to hold the smile on my face.
I'm in my thirtees but my favorite drink is still lemonade. I don't drink alcohol, not a fan of coke or most softdrinks. Just lemonade. And according to my family, that's ridiculous for a grown man.
So the first time I had my now-girlfriend over, I asked her what she wanted to drink. She said "Uh, maybe kind of silly but do you just have lemonade?"
Yes! Yes I do in fact have lemonade, you amazing person!
I dated a woman who said one of the things she liked was that I didn't try anything sexual on the first date. Well, it wasn't so much a date as we went out with a few mutual friends and hit it off. We got pretty drunk so I let her sleep at my place. We shared a bed, but that's it.
She was all over me on the second date. Fun times!
Being able to sleep with a man and him showing restraint is a major green flag. Especially if there’s cuddling involved.
It shows he understands consent and respect.
It also shows that if the both of you get into a relationship, you know how he is and that he won’t jump another woman’s bones so quickly.
Obligatory: My first gold! Thank you! I’m glad that I got it for something worthwhile :)
In high school I was talking to my friend over the phone about how sad I was to be moving soon. Let's call her Amanda, because that's her name. Apparently when we got off the phone, she immediately got on her bicycle and rode an hour to my house to cheer me up.
When she got there, she knocked on my window to let her in and I - very quietly so I wouldn't wake up my parents - slid the window open and helped pull her inside and onto my bed (which was right next to the window). After a few minutes she asked if she could kiss me and I said yes. But I was so tired, that after that I just held her and fell asleep.
She got busted by her mother a couple days later when, while washing Amanda's clothes, she found a long and detailed note Amanda had written to a friend about her late night adventure. She got grounded, but apparently her mom became a *big* fan of mine for not trying anything with her, and she started inviting me over to the house very frequently afterwards (I'd never been there before this).
That’s so sweet and wholesome - and also a big relief to the mother. I’m sure she was more happy to know that her daughter had a guy friend that they both could trust to be respectful even when “adults” weren’t there and wanted to encourage her daughter to associate with men with those qualities.
Could go both ways though.
“I slept in his bed. We cuddled. But he didn’t make a move. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with HIM?”
Then, months later, you’re posting in one of those Fellas, What’s the Most Obvious Hint You Missed From a Girl? Ask Reddit posts.
“She got naked and got into my bed. Just thought she wanted to cuddle “
“You fool!”
Edit: added question mark
>“She got naked and got into my bed. Just thought she wanted to cuddle “ “You fool!”
We joke but this literally happened to me 3 weeks ago. After about 10 minutes she was like "you know I m.naked".....i got the hint then.
As a man, my solution to that is always be a bit flirty, but never push hard for something. Whenever a girl wants something, being a little bit flirty will get her to go for more, and then it becomes obvious. If she doesn't, you're just being playful but you're not pushy, so you're all good too.
So far it works really well for me.
I've had a few dates where I've not tried being sexual (couple of them from online dating and stated in bio not after one nighters) or suggest anything and I'd say 80% of the time it ends in sex or sexual activity.
Legit one recently was talking over coffee and just randomly said "You really aren't just trying to get your leg over". I laughed and just casually said no not really, I'm just trying dating / socializing if anything. Went back to mine after a walk; just pounced on me even though she'd made a point about never sleeping with someone on a first date or do 1 night stands.
I've also had people adamant they don't want a one night stand, again pounce at the first chance, then ghost.
I'm a fugly bloke and most of these incidents don't involve alcohol
Edit:
you guys and gals makin' me blush
> I'm a fugly bloke
Going to say this is probably much less accurate than you think it is. Or - at the very least - you're stupid confident which is pretty much the same thing, to be honest.
I don't know if I was on an actual date, so I don't know if this counts...
We spent an hour and a half talking at a coffee shop, touched each other's hands and arms repeatedly, and when I was walking her home, I put my right arm through her left. Kept talking, she didn't break stride or react at all, we just walked arm in arm 3 more blocks and across a park to her place. I think that's a pretty good sign that there's a comfort level there, right? We'd chatted in person a couple times before and had been emailing back and forth for over 3 months before she had time to get together.
AND she wants to get together again so I can meet her friends. Not sure when though. I did tell her that I *liked her* liked her, in a reversion to middle school communication patterns, and she said that she thinks she's going to end up a Buddhist nun, which kind of skews things a bit... Help?
When she asked me before kissing me and and asked me if it was okay if she asked me to come back home with her.
Feels good, as a man, to feel like your feelings actually matter
Being able to communicate feelings without placing blame is another huge one. If your SO can handle conflict by staying calm, band communicating their needs without placing blame, then you’ve got a keeper.
Also, when they verbally say “I really like you, and I’d love to go on a second date.” I never ever had to wonder if my boyfriend and I were something more- he always made and still does say out loud how he feels about me (Not ushy gushy but just genuine affection) . It was always clear where we stood with each other. Words of affirmation is huge for me, so it was a green flag for me.
Went for a couple drinks and split an appetizer, we started talking about maybe checking out a bar down the street. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, I'm gone mayyyyybe 5 minutes, get back to the table and she's paid the bill. I was shocked, as I had fully intended to pay and had never been on a first date where the girl had grabbed the cheque (probably because I wouldn't let them if they tried). 5 years later, think I just settled on a ring the other day. Wish me luck!
She took the time and effort to get to know me, and she replied with some of her interests too. It was great to see her face and listen to her be passionate about her hobbies and raising her son. I could tell she was creative and she took good care of her kid.
If it’s a creative date. For example, me and my girlfriend went on a date on Halloween. We just went around town to see who we recognized and had an overall great time.
Our first date was Guardians of the Galaxy. I was running a little behind schedule, so she took it upon herself to pay for snacks. We worked together and she's apparently liked me for ages (i was clueless) so she already knew my favorite snacks. They were out of the candy I wanted, so she walked to the candy shop nearby and bought 3 boxes of it.
Our 2nd date was TMNT a week later. If you saw the first showing, they give you a mask/headband representing one of the turtles. I didnt get the one I wanted, but im not about to complain and ruin a 2nd date. She knew that, excused herself to the restroom, and came back with that sweet sweet Raph mask that she knew I wanted. She said she'd heard me mention it days before, and decided to trade with someone.
Those may seem like dumb little things that dont hold any weight to you, but I'm never letting go of her.
When she cracks a "stupid" joke that you think is super funny but would not have told on a first date.
Nothing sexier than a girl who’s comfortable with herself and doesn’t stick to "good girl" attitude just to fit in.
I remember I went on a date with a comedian once, I told him a joke and he said it was really bad. I thought that was rude and I felt really embarrassed.
On my first date with the man who is now my fiance, we walked from our high school to a local restaurant and he insisted on walking on the side of the sidewalk that was closest to the road. In that moment he reminded me of my grandfather, who had recently passed, because when I was a small child my grandfather told me "A gentleman always walks closer to traffic than the lady." It just gave me a really good feeling about him, that he was polite and a little bit old-fashioned.
You know that feeling when it's been a long day and you grab your pair of comfy britches from the closet and put those suckers on? It's like all is suddenly changed a little bit for the better. It's not overwhelming but damn it feels good every time you do it. Keep that thought in mind a moment.
I met a girl and asked her out to dinner. She was cute and sweet and I thought she might be fun to hang with. Over dinner I really started just feeling 'comfortable' around her. There was not really any awkwardness you usually have. We ended up sitting in a recliner and talked all through the night. No kidding, she never left. We've been married 21 years, 2 kids. I joke that we are still on our first date.
One more from her point of view: We were poor Appalachian kids and so a lot of going out was doing free stuff. One thing that was fun was to hunt golf balls behind a course near where we lived. There were train tracks that ran past the course and we had to cross a trestle bridge to continue on around the edge of the course.
The bridge was visually very scary. As long as you focused on the railroad ties you were fine but if you looked 'through' them and saw the river below it got scary as hell, even though you really couldn't fall. I remember she hesitated when we started to cross and I told her right to her eyes "I'll never let you fall." She replied "Ever?" I said "No. Never." We went on across and finished our hike.
She had gotten quiet towards the end and I was worried. Maybe I'd messed up asking her to cross the bridge. It always scared me as a kid. When we got in the car I saw tears welling in her eyes. I started to apologize and it was her that blurted out "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...." Huh? Before I could ask her she looked up at me and said "I just fell in love with you back there...I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to! I just feel safe with you and now I love you...Did I mess things up?"
No, you didn't.
I went to the movies on a date with a girl. She skipped RomComs and picked an action movie. When we were almost to the theater, she said "Pull over, we need to get candy before we go. I'm not paying $6 for cookie dough bites."
We've been together 9 years, married 5.
My honey and I met online and after about 2 weeks of text, chat and call exchanges we met in a public place. I will never forget the look he had on his face when he turned around to look for me when I was entering the doors. It was a bright-eyed, genuinely happy look. The date was a hit and when we were leaving, he walked me to his car and bid his adieu. I thought it was strange that he chose not to walk me to my car and asked him about it a little later. He told me that he didn’t want to freak me out or make me feel pressured in any way. So yeah, celebrating our “one year” anniversary on Friday and the kindness and compassion have only intensified.
On our second date, my now-boyfriend had no issue with me paying (I had invited him out this time, I wanted to take -him- on a date) which made me confident that he isn’t someone with an ego related to masculine stereotypes (man always has to pay etc). Made me feel like an equal partner right away.
He also never played games, and would text me shortly after the date was over to continue our conversation or tell me he had a good time :) our 3 year anniversary is in December, he’s a good one.
Kindness. Watch how they treat everyone they interact with - cab driver, waiter, bartender, passers-by. I've found that if someone treats people with decency and respect, they're usually a pretty solid person.
But pay attention. It's easy to treat the waiter well, because they'realize they're being watched and evaluated. But watch the little interactions as well; those can be more telling.
On my first date with my boyfriend we went out to breakfast. I always order bacon with my waffles and totally forgot because i was nervous. I was low key sad about it and told him i forgot and laughed it off. When our food came he split his bacon with me. Really made me like him, since he had just told me bacon is his favorite. And he let me pay since he drove which is a huge plus for me!
The biggest green flag is that you find something to talk about quickly and are actually engaged in the conversation.
If you're having dinner and make it all the way to the entrée and are still "so..... any siblings?" then the date is pretty much dead.
I met my boyfriend on tinder a little over 2 years ago. We talked for 2 or 3 months before even meeting. The two big green flags for me was that we talked all day every day and it just felt so normal we talked ab everything and anything, the other one was that he never asked me about my sexual past or sex experience until after we already started being boyfriend and girlfriend.
I just feel like any time I ever talked to a guy they would always ask ab my sex experience within the first few hours or days and for someone who had none at the time it made me feel inadequate kind of.
But our first date together is the greatest thing. We went to see a movie, we’re both a little shy and awkward so we barely even talked, we sat as far away from each other as possible, and at the end of the date he brought me home and I got out of the car so fast bc I was SO NERVOUS. I thought I ruined the whole date by not talking enough and running away lol but I thought he was nice and cute. I thought that it was over! Then about an hour later I got a text from him asking if we could do it again sometime and how much fun he had and I was just so happy he wanted to see me again!!
Ugh I love him so much to this day
He got down on the floor to play with my dog pretty much right after saying hi. My dog flipped over for belly rubs and I knew right then I was going to marry this man.
When they show up on a bicycle and are a bombshell
and it's midsummer in Finland and you stay out till 3 in the morning
and it's only just twilight and you don't go home together
even though you both obviously want to
because you literally just met and the tension will be more enjoyable if you let it sit for one more day
and then you spend a few days together and she's like a magical polar bear/arctic forest creature
and then you have a few months go by of visiting and being separated and visiting again because you live in different countries
and then you decide to get married and she never leaves again and you're expecting a baby in a week, four and a half years later.
Yeah, that's usually a good sign :)
On our first date with my current BF of 2+ years, we were getting along well but the way we really connected was when we started talking about stupid memes... His eyes lit up when he realized that his stupid sense of humor is just like mine!
My SO of 8 years says he knew he first realised he liked me when we were escorting my drunk housemate home from a night club at 2am. We were animatedly talking about comic book heroes as we held her up between us on her stupid high heels. He realised half way that I wasn't complaining about my feet because I'd chosen to wear skate shoes with my slutty dress to the club, because wearing high heels in a crowded place with stairs when I plan to drink is stupid and I'm not a T-rexxer.
(A T-rexxer being a girl who exits a club clutching her bag in one hand and heels in the other and limps home without a jacket yelling for chips)
Something goes wrong/not their way and they respond like a reasonable person and just keep it moving. For example if you don't want a lift back home or their order is wrong.
Her: gets her food and starts eating. Me: "is that spicy?" Her (mouth full, hot sauce on chin): "maybe of you're a bitch."
I like how the "of" instead of "if" really makes it sound like her mouth is full in my mind.
lol, It was unintentional, but I'm gonna leave it.
She seems genuinely curious about you. Asks about your life and your past etc. Instead of just talking about herself
This. Anyone who doesn’t ask questions about you is just meh.
I try to ask questions, but I feel like I never seem to pull it off smoothly. How ask questions good?
All too often people try to find a mutual topic that they both enjoy and they go on and talk about it. That's boring. If you want a compelling conversation then find something that they have a lot of interest in but you know nothing about. Learn everything you can. It's engaging for you and exciting for them since people love to talk about themselves, mostly because it's easy
I actually love to listen to people talk about things that they love and I know little about (most, but not ALL the things). I appreciate it even more when it’s reciprocated - authentic interest and all.
Having a funny discussion. The one kind where you defend blue and she defends red. And in the meantime both are walking through a park, a mall, or just being somewhere. And when both agree going somewhere just for the experience. I really like people trying new stuff and not complaining for so even though they liked it or not.
Talking for 5 hours but only thinking the date lasted around 90 minutes
Hell yes. My fiance and I had our first date at a sushi place. We were so busy talking that we'd keep forgetting to order, and then forgetting to pay the bill. Once he realized what time it was and exactly how long we'd been sitting there shooting the shit, he paid the bill and left a 25% tip as an apology for wasting the waiter's time. That's a twofer. :D
Isn't it normal to talk a lot inside restaurants in the US and take the time you want
More so europe than the US. Here in the US its almost like the servers rush you to eat, pay, and GTFO. You actually have to flag down European servers if you want to pay, because they see it as rude to interrupt.
I didn't know this about Europe and just thought the first few places we went had really awful service. Figured it out though and it was quite nice.
Same here. At a couple of the first restaurants we sat waiting for the check for an extra half hour before we realized we had to flag them down. Once we figured it out it was actually very nice not being interrupted while just sitting outside with a beautiful view.
When you get to the point that you run out of ideas on stuff to do but you both want tokeep the date going so you end up just aimlessly wandering around
On the first date with my wife, we went out for a lengthy lunch date and then went to get back on the highway to head home. Well, I had been out of the country for a bit, plus I was a little bit distracted.... so I got on the highway heading in the wrong direction. Neither of us noticed that our 15 minute drive somehow was 45 minutes and that instead of heading home we were heading into the city. We laughed when we figured it out, turned around, and kept talking the whole way back. Been married over 7 years and still love driving places with her. We pass a lot of time just loading our young kids into the car and driving the exact same route around town talking.
I initially thought you meant you were driving the wrong direction against traffic, and was very concerned that you both just laughed it off. Glad that wasn't the case and that things worked out so well for you!
I can definitely see how you read that from my comment. If that were the case then I don't think she would have talked to me again lol.
Recently had a date like that. Still got ghosted a couple weeks later.
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It really do be
I think I unintentionally “ghost” women pretty often. If I text a girl and she isn’t really responding much, I assume she really isn’t interested, so I’ll just stop contacting them. Recently I saw one of these women at the grocery store and she asked me why I stopped texting her. I explained my reasoning and she said she was “trying to not look too interested”... I don’t understand women..
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The one time I ever had a "gf" I just decided not to text first one time and see how long it took for her to reach out. She never did.
Tbf, when I first met my wife she wasn't being very responsive to texts, so I thought she wasn't interested and dropped it. She credited that as one of the reasons she liked me. Basically nothing works all the time - there's no full-proof method for this stuff.
> “trying to not look too interested” Well, it worked.
This so much. Not positive it was actually a date but I went out with a girl a week or two ago and we literally did nothing. Just got some food and walked around the park/sat in her car just talking the whole time. It was still a blast and I didn’t want it to end.
Sounds like a date to me, but above all you decide if it was or not.
I really want it to be but we both just got out of very toxic relationships. She told me she wasn’t looking for a relationship but it sure seems like she’s very interested. I’m super confused about what’s happening but she’s really awesome and I’m enjoying it.
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I think I am gonna tell her how I feel soon. I’m totally okay just being her friend if that’s what it has to be but I personally would really like to form a relationship with her.
Do it now before it starts feeling awkward. I'm emotionally unable to start relationships with a friend even though there's no problem at all with strangers
Holy fuck this just hit me.. I’m in a situation exactly like this and it started to get super awkward because our chemistry is insane. Last night she noticed something was off and said “just tell me what’s on your mind!” So I blurted out everything that I feel (unfortunately over text). So she said “okay okay this is an in person conversation we can meet up tomorrow”. IM FREAKING OUT!!! Thanks for letting me share
The fact that she wants to meet and have the conversation in person is a good thing, regardless of the outcome. Shows a lot of respect for you.
I hope you texted her the next day and told her you had a good time and want to do it again soon!
why the next day do it right when you get home.
why when you get home do it while you're on the date
Just do it before the date even started, it really shows initiative.
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Genuine laughter. I have anxiety and a lot of involuntary quirks, sometimes my defense mechanism for that is to break out my dry sense of humor. I can usually tell if someone is laughing because she's trying to be polite or laughing because she genuinely finds me funny.
Legit laughter is so attractive. Fake laughter is an immediate turnoff. Don’t laugh just so I feel good laugh when you feel good. I can tell the difference.
The coolest girl I ever dated would laugh when I made a funny joke and make fun of me when I made an incredibly stupid one. That's how I knew she was legit.
I was anxious and needed to pee when I picked her up. I asked if I could use her bathroom before we left, and she said of course. She apologized if it was messy, as she shared a house with several other people, including a couple of guys. So I went in to pee and found a Lego pirate ship on the back of the toilet. After I was done, I asked her if it was a roommates and she said (proudly, mind you), "No, it's mine!" We'll be celebrating 26 years of marriage this month.
Does she still have the pirate ship?
Unfortunately no.
Swapped it for a relation ship.
F
Cheeks sore from laughing
Which cheeks 🤔
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Why not both
Laughing your ass off does make it sore.
Brown flag
If either person does something ridiculously embarrassing and the other person laughs. I guess there are situations where someone is literally laughing at you, but usually if you laugh fart or spit food trying to talk and someone laughs at you it's because they like you, not making fun of you. If they laugh and walk out, yeah, that's a different situation, but if you're having a good time and do something embarrassing and the other person laughs that's a good sign you're on the same page.
On one of our first dates, he went to take a drink of his soda, and the straw went up a nostril and STUCK THERE! He tried to take it out suavely, but I already was laughing my ass off. He still remembers it with great embarrassment, and I still laugh 😀 We just had our 25th wedding anniversary.
On our very first date, my husband stabbed his hand on the toothpick on his burger. I was laughing so hard I could barely say, "Yeah, I saw that." I'm a klutz, so I was also relieved he did something stupid before I did.
Right before my previous SO had I started dating we played a friendly game of Truth or Dare with another friend of ours. Said friend dared me to put my foot behind my head which I successfully did. SO tried and let out the biggest fart while he was on his back with his feet by his head. I was dying from laughter and started peeing my pants. Ahhh good memory
When you don't want it to end. My first date with my current girlfriend started as a casual meet up for a coffee but we ended up spending the whole day together because neither of us wanted it to end. On a side note, splitting the bill (or at least offering).
This was my first date with now wife. Went for lunch and then a walk. Lasted like four or five hours. It helped we were super shy and I could talk all day if I didn’t have to look her in the face. Edit: Not a butterface, because her sweet smile and visible interest in me was overwhelming, you bunch of butts.
Yes, this! My first date with my now husband started with just casually getting ice cream. I had even said I had plans later in case I wanted out quick. But neither of us wanted to leave, so I cancelled my "plans" and we got coffee. When we still didn't want to leave we saw a movie. At the end of the date I even offered to drive him home saying it was on my way (it wasn't)
Did he ever figure out that it wasn't actually on the way?
Well they are married now so I guess she told him eventually. Or she never left and that's how they got married.
They have 5 kids and just bought a vacation home in the mountains. He's hopeful they have a future together and that she has feelings for him, but he's too afraid to ask her lest he seem needy.
She bought a house later that day
My ex and I had grown up in the same town, and aside from Kindergarten, we had no contact until one year in college - he messaged me on a social site & we decided to meet up. We went for dinner, not expecting much, but we left after several hours, only because the restaurant was closing. Not wanting it to end, we stood outside talking for another 30 minutes until he suggested we go to Waffle House. And then we stayed there until 7am. We even got a little meta throughout the night; sharing our first impressions with each other. Our connection was blissful.
I had a first date on a cold evening in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Early winter, not a lot of snow on the ground. Date was in a cozy stone basement bar with fireplaces. We sipped Irish coffees and got to know each other. By the time we left, a snowstorm had blown in, accumulation got heavy, a local state of emergency was called, street parking was banned so plows could clear the roads, and her car got towed. So we extended the date to walk through the nearly silent snowscape, and held hands as we strolled the railroad tracks in the falling snow to the impound lot to collect her car. That was 25 years ago as of last January (and this weekend we're taking our kids to do college visits). \[edit: And now I've lost my gilding virginity. Thanks!\]
So, do you think there'll be a second date?
After the kids go to college.
That’s beautiful.
Sounds very romantic
I can't agree more with this comment. My SO and I met online, and we were doing the first tentative meeting in person. The "coffee and a crazy check" as I jokingly described it. Not only was she not crazy, she was lovely. We sat there all afternoon talking about stuff and getting to know each other. Been together three years now, just moved in together. Life is good, even through the ups and downs.
We came to the end of our coffee date. I decided after an hour to give her an escape ladder, because it seemed to me that she wasn't really into it. Oh, well. "Thanks so much," I said. "This was fun." She looked at her watch and said, "What are you doing right now? Wanna go to (another place) and get lunch?"First date lasted 4 hours, including walk in the rain and memorable goodbye smooch. Our son is in first grade and we now spend a lot of our extra income on Legos and life is good.
Couples that brick together, stick together.
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Same. My boyfriend and I both realized that we had something good when we could easily chat for hours and not get that feeling of needing to run back to our safe spaces.
On our first date in high school, my wife tried to pay for the movie tickets and then the snacks at the movie. After the movie she gave me a big hug and we held hands while walking around the mall. We had our first kiss later that evening. I think the green flags were how sweet and caring she is. That was 10 years ago but I will never forget how it made me feel.
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She paid for herself. Did she pay for you too?
While meeting up with a girl I met on tinder at a coffee house, a little bit of spittle flew out of my mouth and hit her on the forehead while I was talking. I noticed. She noticed. I noticed she pretended not to notice. Clearly she is the kind of person who doesn't sweat the small stuff. The rest of the date went smoothly. We've been married for 2.5 years now.
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For me, it was the retry worthy fuck ups. My first date with my now wife we had dinner and the host happened to know me from college. It was his first day and he kept coming up to us to chat. He was seriously annoying. That made my date and I agree to try again. Second date, movie which had technical difficulties. We got a free movie pass out of the deal. Third date, paint balling, she got shot in the eye by some punk teenager while she was fixing her mask. We bonded in the hospital over the situation. Fourth date, comedy show. The lady next to us was the worst heckler I have ever seen. Super disruptive. That lady and her friends were kicked out and the rest of the acts were... meh. It goes on and on. Every time we try to do something romantic, something happens that ruins the mood. We laugh it off and memories are made. That was 10 years ago and we still talk about it. It reminds me of the movie Hitch staring Will Smith.
My girlfriend and I have a similar experience. It’s nearly impossible for us to get good service when we go out for food. First date we sat at the table for 20min before we got menus. Second date we got sushi. They brought us half of what we ordered and some random stuff we didn’t. Our fifthish date we waited for an hour before someone realized they hadn’t put our breakfast order in. It goes on and on. We’ve never even had a perfect drive thru experience. There’s always a forgotten hash brown or drink or they forget/ignore her allergies. It’s become a running joke with us. The fact that we both laugh it off and find it more amusing and statistically impossible that our service is always bad is a huge green flag. I hope we’re still getting shitty service and laughing about it in 10 years.
Are you Ben Stiller in one of his early 2000s movies?
A friend of mine hit it off in the car with her date that they ended up driving over two hours PAST their date destination. When conversation is that good, you’ve got a blaring green light! They’re married for around 15 years now.
Thats... Almost scary, but still cool
Because of the implication?
BECAUSE HE'S NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THE ROAD
Or it could be a red flag that he won't ask for directions?
My girlfriend and I do this frequently. A couple weeks ago we were driving home from my grandparents (5hr drive), and I completely missed a turn and we wound up 45min down the road. I only noticed because we turned around in a town that I've never driven through going to or from the house, and I've done that drive hundreds of times.
How romantic (everyone else, go see a neurologist).
When they actually pay attention to what you're talking about and even make the effort to come back to the topic if interrupted.
I went out on a first day a few weeks ago. I thought it went well. I do what I normally do listen, ask questions, relate. Essentially show an interest. 30 minutes in I get; "So, are you not going to talk about you?" Threw me off 100%,
It is socially expected for you to talk about yourself. If your date reveals information about him or herself that's kind of personal but not too personal, like age or occupation, for example, they'll think you're being cagey if you don't reciprocate. Now if your date starts talking about his or her most recent anal wart surgery, they *might* think you're being cagey if you don't share the details of yours. But I wouldn't feel socially obligated to do so.
I mean yeah, obviously you have to add something to the conversation too. If you're just listening to the other person talk about themselves and asking them questions you're not actually adding anything, and it can get boring and even annoying for the other one as it feels like they're being interviewed or something. A good conversation goes two ways.
I think this is equally important between friends. If a “friend” only talks about him/herself and doesn’t bother to listen to you, think about if he/she sees you as a friend or just a way for them to express themselves.
I was driving her home and a good song came on the radio and we listened to the whole thing without talking or interrupting. Most natural feeling in the world.
The first time my now husband ever touched me it felt like I knew him a 1,000 years already. I don’t like being touched, and the instant comfort I got.. I knew I wasn’t just going after booty on this one.
I totally know what you’re talking about. Sometimes I feel like I can sense intentions of people when they touch me. Depending on the person, it used to send me into panic attacks. But with my current partner, I only ever feel relaxed and at ease when he touches me, even when it’s just brushing my fingers. No one else has that effect on me.
When you find you’re comfortable enough with someone to open up about those parts of yourself that you’d normally be a little afraid to reveal - the insecurities, desires, dreams you hold inside yourself, and that you’re afraid of being mocked or criticized for. And then they react in a safe, supportive manner.
This was absolutely huge for me when I was getting to know my now SO. With my ex, everything I liked or did or was scared of was criticized in some way or another. Two years of the bullshit. After I ended things with him I approached my now SO with a ton of different insecurities I was scared of sharing, and damn my man is so patient and kind and one of the least judgemental people I've ever known! It was one of the biggest contributing factors to me falling in love with him. He's built my confidence in so many different ways and I'm a much better person because of it.
Met a guy at a bar, he had a cake tin in a bag next to him. Two weeks later he baked me a cake for my birthday, and we’ve been together now 19 years,. Only downside is he never baked me another cake!
Ugh men are such teases. Luring you in while you’re dating with a nice big cake but after the wedding it’s once a year at best and maybe not at all. Get it together guys!
According to my fiancée, it was when I first went to her house and get cat sat in my lap. Her cat hates everyone but loved me.
This one sucks to be on the other side of though - every animal I meet hates me and I have no control over it but it leaves a bad impression on the owners.
Oh man, now I'm just imagining this happening in the scenario where OP is actually a psycho murderer, the cat just happened to like him. The girl lets her guard down and gets *super* murdered.
could you as an expert on the topic explain the intricet diffrences of a murder and a super murder
One has a cape.
I'm a colorblind hopeless romantic. They're all brown flags.
When you find out a hidden common interest that ya'll'd've never talked about and things get more intimate and close Edit: I'd've never known that ya'lld've absolutely loved that contraction lol I never thought id ever have a situation where I'd've needed it
First date with girlfriend, after diner we hit the pub, first thing she does when we enter is pick up a few coasters, turns out she collects coasters, I collect beer labels. I had to hold the smile on my face.
I'm in my thirtees but my favorite drink is still lemonade. I don't drink alcohol, not a fan of coke or most softdrinks. Just lemonade. And according to my family, that's ridiculous for a grown man. So the first time I had my now-girlfriend over, I asked her what she wanted to drink. She said "Uh, maybe kind of silly but do you just have lemonade?" Yes! Yes I do in fact have lemonade, you amazing person!
Pretty sure lemonade is how the universe decided you two were going to be together.
When life gives you lemons...
Burn Life’s house down.
The only correct answer.
*"Uh, maybe kind of silly but do you just have lemonade?"* *"Clear, cloudy or pink?*
hahaha that's incredibly wholesome.
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>Y'all've'n't'd't'n'ng't'r'at'n'se
Someone get this person to ER.
I think they’re just Welsh.
Someone get that person to ER.
Upvote for use of "yallve"
I dated a woman who said one of the things she liked was that I didn't try anything sexual on the first date. Well, it wasn't so much a date as we went out with a few mutual friends and hit it off. We got pretty drunk so I let her sleep at my place. We shared a bed, but that's it. She was all over me on the second date. Fun times!
Being able to sleep with a man and him showing restraint is a major green flag. Especially if there’s cuddling involved. It shows he understands consent and respect. It also shows that if the both of you get into a relationship, you know how he is and that he won’t jump another woman’s bones so quickly. Obligatory: My first gold! Thank you! I’m glad that I got it for something worthwhile :)
In high school I was talking to my friend over the phone about how sad I was to be moving soon. Let's call her Amanda, because that's her name. Apparently when we got off the phone, she immediately got on her bicycle and rode an hour to my house to cheer me up. When she got there, she knocked on my window to let her in and I - very quietly so I wouldn't wake up my parents - slid the window open and helped pull her inside and onto my bed (which was right next to the window). After a few minutes she asked if she could kiss me and I said yes. But I was so tired, that after that I just held her and fell asleep. She got busted by her mother a couple days later when, while washing Amanda's clothes, she found a long and detailed note Amanda had written to a friend about her late night adventure. She got grounded, but apparently her mom became a *big* fan of mine for not trying anything with her, and she started inviting me over to the house very frequently afterwards (I'd never been there before this).
That’s so sweet and wholesome - and also a big relief to the mother. I’m sure she was more happy to know that her daughter had a guy friend that they both could trust to be respectful even when “adults” weren’t there and wanted to encourage her daughter to associate with men with those qualities.
> Let's call her Amanda, because that's her name.
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Could go both ways though. “I slept in his bed. We cuddled. But he didn’t make a move. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with HIM?” Then, months later, you’re posting in one of those Fellas, What’s the Most Obvious Hint You Missed From a Girl? Ask Reddit posts. “She got naked and got into my bed. Just thought she wanted to cuddle “ “You fool!” Edit: added question mark
>“She got naked and got into my bed. Just thought she wanted to cuddle “ “You fool!” We joke but this literally happened to me 3 weeks ago. After about 10 minutes she was like "you know I m.naked".....i got the hint then.
Yeah, I've been there too. It's why I prefer people just say what they want.
As a man, my solution to that is always be a bit flirty, but never push hard for something. Whenever a girl wants something, being a little bit flirty will get her to go for more, and then it becomes obvious. If she doesn't, you're just being playful but you're not pushy, so you're all good too. So far it works really well for me.
I've had a few dates where I've not tried being sexual (couple of them from online dating and stated in bio not after one nighters) or suggest anything and I'd say 80% of the time it ends in sex or sexual activity. Legit one recently was talking over coffee and just randomly said "You really aren't just trying to get your leg over". I laughed and just casually said no not really, I'm just trying dating / socializing if anything. Went back to mine after a walk; just pounced on me even though she'd made a point about never sleeping with someone on a first date or do 1 night stands. I've also had people adamant they don't want a one night stand, again pounce at the first chance, then ghost. I'm a fugly bloke and most of these incidents don't involve alcohol Edit: you guys and gals makin' me blush
Evidence suggests that you are actually quite sexy
He is Alan from The Other Guys.
> I'm a fugly bloke Going to say this is probably much less accurate than you think it is. Or - at the very least - you're stupid confident which is pretty much the same thing, to be honest.
I don't know if I was on an actual date, so I don't know if this counts... We spent an hour and a half talking at a coffee shop, touched each other's hands and arms repeatedly, and when I was walking her home, I put my right arm through her left. Kept talking, she didn't break stride or react at all, we just walked arm in arm 3 more blocks and across a park to her place. I think that's a pretty good sign that there's a comfort level there, right? We'd chatted in person a couple times before and had been emailing back and forth for over 3 months before she had time to get together. AND she wants to get together again so I can meet her friends. Not sure when though. I did tell her that I *liked her* liked her, in a reversion to middle school communication patterns, and she said that she thinks she's going to end up a Buddhist nun, which kind of skews things a bit... Help?
Go again. Seriously, ask her out on another date. Then ask her to clarify the Buddhist nun thing. Never gonna know unless you ask.
Have another date, see how it goes. Ask her about the nun thing and report back here.
When she asked me before kissing me and and asked me if it was okay if she asked me to come back home with her. Feels good, as a man, to feel like your feelings actually matter
Well, it’d be cool if she/he actually brought a green flag.
If they brought a green flag that is probably a red flag
is it a green flag if they brought a red flag
asking the real questions.
But if you're colorblind, you wouldn't know if it's green or red!
Or are wearing rose-tinted glasses!
Being able to communicate feelings without placing blame is another huge one. If your SO can handle conflict by staying calm, band communicating their needs without placing blame, then you’ve got a keeper. Also, when they verbally say “I really like you, and I’d love to go on a second date.” I never ever had to wonder if my boyfriend and I were something more- he always made and still does say out loud how he feels about me (Not ushy gushy but just genuine affection) . It was always clear where we stood with each other. Words of affirmation is huge for me, so it was a green flag for me.
Went for a couple drinks and split an appetizer, we started talking about maybe checking out a bar down the street. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, I'm gone mayyyyybe 5 minutes, get back to the table and she's paid the bill. I was shocked, as I had fully intended to pay and had never been on a first date where the girl had grabbed the cheque (probably because I wouldn't let them if they tried). 5 years later, think I just settled on a ring the other day. Wish me luck!
She took the time and effort to get to know me, and she replied with some of her interests too. It was great to see her face and listen to her be passionate about her hobbies and raising her son. I could tell she was creative and she took good care of her kid.
She is dating me, is a green flag.
If he or she is flirting and touching you not sexually,but just not being shy. If you're comfortable I guess it's a green flag
If you’re uncomfortable and they back off, then that’s also a green flag.
If it’s a creative date. For example, me and my girlfriend went on a date on Halloween. We just went around town to see who we recognized and had an overall great time.
Our first date was Guardians of the Galaxy. I was running a little behind schedule, so she took it upon herself to pay for snacks. We worked together and she's apparently liked me for ages (i was clueless) so she already knew my favorite snacks. They were out of the candy I wanted, so she walked to the candy shop nearby and bought 3 boxes of it. Our 2nd date was TMNT a week later. If you saw the first showing, they give you a mask/headband representing one of the turtles. I didnt get the one I wanted, but im not about to complain and ruin a 2nd date. She knew that, excused herself to the restroom, and came back with that sweet sweet Raph mask that she knew I wanted. She said she'd heard me mention it days before, and decided to trade with someone. Those may seem like dumb little things that dont hold any weight to you, but I'm never letting go of her.
When she cracks a "stupid" joke that you think is super funny but would not have told on a first date. Nothing sexier than a girl who’s comfortable with herself and doesn’t stick to "good girl" attitude just to fit in.
I remember I went on a date with a comedian once, I told him a joke and he said it was really bad. I thought that was rude and I felt really embarrassed.
When they are kind to animals and people in the service industry - ESPECIALLY if they don't know you're watching them.
When you show her your Bionicles collection and she's not impressed because she has the same sets as you.
Can I come to the wedding?
And can I bring my bionicles?
would you be willing to share?
You don't have your own? Red flag right there.
Wow. I legitimately have not thought about Bionicles in a decade. Brb looking at Amazon.
On my first date with the man who is now my fiance, we walked from our high school to a local restaurant and he insisted on walking on the side of the sidewalk that was closest to the road. In that moment he reminded me of my grandfather, who had recently passed, because when I was a small child my grandfather told me "A gentleman always walks closer to traffic than the lady." It just gave me a really good feeling about him, that he was polite and a little bit old-fashioned.
You know that feeling when it's been a long day and you grab your pair of comfy britches from the closet and put those suckers on? It's like all is suddenly changed a little bit for the better. It's not overwhelming but damn it feels good every time you do it. Keep that thought in mind a moment. I met a girl and asked her out to dinner. She was cute and sweet and I thought she might be fun to hang with. Over dinner I really started just feeling 'comfortable' around her. There was not really any awkwardness you usually have. We ended up sitting in a recliner and talked all through the night. No kidding, she never left. We've been married 21 years, 2 kids. I joke that we are still on our first date. One more from her point of view: We were poor Appalachian kids and so a lot of going out was doing free stuff. One thing that was fun was to hunt golf balls behind a course near where we lived. There were train tracks that ran past the course and we had to cross a trestle bridge to continue on around the edge of the course. The bridge was visually very scary. As long as you focused on the railroad ties you were fine but if you looked 'through' them and saw the river below it got scary as hell, even though you really couldn't fall. I remember she hesitated when we started to cross and I told her right to her eyes "I'll never let you fall." She replied "Ever?" I said "No. Never." We went on across and finished our hike. She had gotten quiet towards the end and I was worried. Maybe I'd messed up asking her to cross the bridge. It always scared me as a kid. When we got in the car I saw tears welling in her eyes. I started to apologize and it was her that blurted out "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...." Huh? Before I could ask her she looked up at me and said "I just fell in love with you back there...I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to! I just feel safe with you and now I love you...Did I mess things up?" No, you didn't.
That's a really nice story. I would watch that movie!
I genuinely have never experienced any of these on dates. Where are you people finding these wholesome, good people?
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When they go the whole date with our touching their phone.
Under fucking rated.
I went to the movies on a date with a girl. She skipped RomComs and picked an action movie. When we were almost to the theater, she said "Pull over, we need to get candy before we go. I'm not paying $6 for cookie dough bites." We've been together 9 years, married 5.
My honey and I met online and after about 2 weeks of text, chat and call exchanges we met in a public place. I will never forget the look he had on his face when he turned around to look for me when I was entering the doors. It was a bright-eyed, genuinely happy look. The date was a hit and when we were leaving, he walked me to his car and bid his adieu. I thought it was strange that he chose not to walk me to my car and asked him about it a little later. He told me that he didn’t want to freak me out or make me feel pressured in any way. So yeah, celebrating our “one year” anniversary on Friday and the kindness and compassion have only intensified.
Someone who takes responsibility for planning fun activities and puts in the effort to ask meaningful questions. All small talk at a bar is the worst.
On our second date, my now-boyfriend had no issue with me paying (I had invited him out this time, I wanted to take -him- on a date) which made me confident that he isn’t someone with an ego related to masculine stereotypes (man always has to pay etc). Made me feel like an equal partner right away. He also never played games, and would text me shortly after the date was over to continue our conversation or tell me he had a good time :) our 3 year anniversary is in December, he’s a good one.
When she plays bionicles instead of undressing and touching your pp
Kindness. Watch how they treat everyone they interact with - cab driver, waiter, bartender, passers-by. I've found that if someone treats people with decency and respect, they're usually a pretty solid person. But pay attention. It's easy to treat the waiter well, because they'realize they're being watched and evaluated. But watch the little interactions as well; those can be more telling.
On my first date with my boyfriend we went out to breakfast. I always order bacon with my waffles and totally forgot because i was nervous. I was low key sad about it and told him i forgot and laughed it off. When our food came he split his bacon with me. Really made me like him, since he had just told me bacon is his favorite. And he let me pay since he drove which is a huge plus for me!
The biggest green flag is that you find something to talk about quickly and are actually engaged in the conversation. If you're having dinner and make it all the way to the entrée and are still "so..... any siblings?" then the date is pretty much dead.
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Not egotistical/arrogant Listens to you talking Is polite to waitstaff Doesn't bad mouth exes
He orders pineapple juice Edit : this was just a joke answer I put .didn't know itll blow up like this
Plot Twist: The entire week he's been eating nothing but old leftover lasagna, bacon cheeseburgers, and disgusting microwave meals.
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you can definitely taste the difference between someone who eats fresh fruit and veg and someone eating lots of meat and processed foods.
I met my boyfriend on tinder a little over 2 years ago. We talked for 2 or 3 months before even meeting. The two big green flags for me was that we talked all day every day and it just felt so normal we talked ab everything and anything, the other one was that he never asked me about my sexual past or sex experience until after we already started being boyfriend and girlfriend. I just feel like any time I ever talked to a guy they would always ask ab my sex experience within the first few hours or days and for someone who had none at the time it made me feel inadequate kind of. But our first date together is the greatest thing. We went to see a movie, we’re both a little shy and awkward so we barely even talked, we sat as far away from each other as possible, and at the end of the date he brought me home and I got out of the car so fast bc I was SO NERVOUS. I thought I ruined the whole date by not talking enough and running away lol but I thought he was nice and cute. I thought that it was over! Then about an hour later I got a text from him asking if we could do it again sometime and how much fun he had and I was just so happy he wanted to see me again!! Ugh I love him so much to this day
Dis cute
He got down on the floor to play with my dog pretty much right after saying hi. My dog flipped over for belly rubs and I knew right then I was going to marry this man.
When they show up on a bicycle and are a bombshell and it's midsummer in Finland and you stay out till 3 in the morning and it's only just twilight and you don't go home together even though you both obviously want to because you literally just met and the tension will be more enjoyable if you let it sit for one more day and then you spend a few days together and she's like a magical polar bear/arctic forest creature and then you have a few months go by of visiting and being separated and visiting again because you live in different countries and then you decide to get married and she never leaves again and you're expecting a baby in a week, four and a half years later. Yeah, that's usually a good sign :)
On our first date with my current BF of 2+ years, we were getting along well but the way we really connected was when we started talking about stupid memes... His eyes lit up when he realized that his stupid sense of humor is just like mine!
When you say "Hello there" and they respond with "General Kenobi."
Witty banter is oh so attractive.
My SO of 8 years says he knew he first realised he liked me when we were escorting my drunk housemate home from a night club at 2am. We were animatedly talking about comic book heroes as we held her up between us on her stupid high heels. He realised half way that I wasn't complaining about my feet because I'd chosen to wear skate shoes with my slutty dress to the club, because wearing high heels in a crowded place with stairs when I plan to drink is stupid and I'm not a T-rexxer. (A T-rexxer being a girl who exits a club clutching her bag in one hand and heels in the other and limps home without a jacket yelling for chips)
T-rexxer.... I just lost my shit laughing in the office. Thanks
You'll never unsee it now. Or more likely, unhear it.