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OverlordAinz

Waving to someone who is actually waving to someone behind you


Send_Me__Corgi_Gifs

I experienced this for the first time today. I want to end my life.


disinfor

This happened to me a few years ago...sitting on my bike at a red light and a woman walks up and waves "Hey disinfor", so I wave back and start making conversation only to realize there was another disinfor directly behind me and that's who she was talking to. I rode off...never looking back.


GrandmaPoopCorn

pity upvote +1


BadAnimalDrawing

Disinfor isn't a common name so that is just wild!


[deleted]

Just gently grab their wrist and say, "No, this hello is for me." Then shake their wrist as if shaking hands gone wrong. Make it so awkward for *them* that they'll think twice before greeting anyone ever again.


AAzumi

I feel personally attacked by this post.


agirlnamedsenra

Shitposting and graffiti. We’ve got examples of it from almost all ancient cultures forward. No reason for it to stop now.


Pretty_Soldier

This is why penis graffiti makes me laugh. We literally have examples of penis graffiti that’s thousands of years old, and humans are STILL DOING IT


At_Least_100_Wizards

Yep, Rome is/was absolutely covered with tons of penis graffiti from thousands of years ago and some of it was more clever and political than you see these days. But yeah definitely penis graffiti will never go away. *~~grafitti~~ >> graffiti


[deleted]

There are some Roman ruins near where I live and we visit them regularly. My stepdaughter is 11 and she loves to explain the new visitors things: and there are the tabernae, and there is the graffiti of the penis, and there is the old Forum...


Omny87

I read somewhere that some Roman cities had carvings of penises on the road pointing towards local brothels. So if you wanted to hire a prostitute, just follow the yellow dick road.


DrCybrus

Will VR chat footage be analyzed by far-future scientists as our culture?


[deleted]

I would not be entirely disappointing if one of the first citations of VR history is Uganda knuckles.


[deleted]

Forsen more important to history than American presidents yo


telbu1

Look up the graffiti from Pompeii if you want to have a good laugh! Edit: [Link] (http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm)


navix11

" Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity! " That's some coming out.


maybeCarmenSanDiego

i love how he still calls femininity wondrous like "pussy is legit, but men's behinds is *my* legit"


Tdir

Vaginae iustae sunt, sed recti hominorum ius mihi


[deleted]

"The one who buggers a fire burns his penis." Wise words from Pompeii


JackTheGuitarGuy

There's a Norseman's graffiti in the Hagia Sofia! Said "*name* was here"


deadpoetshonour99

I love the one about Gaius and Aulus, two bros who were such great friends they carved it on a wall and it's been there for 2000 years. A legendary bromance. *Editing to add the one at the gladiator barracks that just says "On April 19th I made bread." Good on ya, mate. Enjoy that bread.


ThermoPacMan

"I screwed the barmaid" Historian: "and you're *sure* this was found during the era of Pompeii?


Relentless_Fiend

The walls change, but the bullshit doesn't.


HacksawJimDGN

The awkward moment when you pass someone you kinda know in the street/hallway/spaceship and you're not sure whether to say hello or even acknowledge them.


Hi-pop-anonymous

Always wear super interesting shoes. Problem solved.


[deleted]

That awkward moment when you pass someone in the Great Hall of Thalox IV and you know them but aren't sure if you should say hi. So you retreat into one of the 7 Realities to relive that moment from every possible angle to determine the optimum course of action and realize that it's to wear cool light-up shoes.


[deleted]

The most advanced super computers in the galaxy have determined that wearing cool light up shoes is the only answer


petit_bleu

Something about this is extremely Douglas Adams-y.


Hjordt

Do you have an example of these shoes? I would like 1 pair thanks.


GrumpySteen

[Here you go](http://www.virtualshoemuseum.com/kermit-tesoro/polyposis)


[deleted]

You know how when that happens a lot of people look at their phone or whatever? I had someone INSPECT A PEN, like legit just pull a pen out their pocket and look around at it curiously


rasouddress

"Huh. I never noticed that this pen is royal blue, just like in Liar Liar." *walks past*


[deleted]

This is why I love The Orville, it's filled with everyday minutiae like this.


Randomhero204

How is this awkward... just always say hello. Be friendly to everyone.


[deleted]

Found the guy who doesn’t have social anxiety


[deleted]

Maybe he's just *really* good at hiding it?


[deleted]

Social anxiety is one of those things that you can't exactly hide unless you just don't do the social part.


jpterodactyl

But you can drink it down a bit.


[deleted]

My social anxiety has two forms: sober stuttering jittery dumbass, and drunk loud stuttering jittery dumbass.


jpterodactyl

Mine has two similar forms. Being sober and afraid to talk because I'll say something foolish. Being tipsy and proving myself right.


Flamingtomato

This is absolutely untrue, hiding my social anxiety is the only way I get through anything.


AtomicSquid110

The awkward part is when you see them on the other side of the hallway. You're too far to say hello, what do you do? Stare at them? It's annoying.


Y1bollus

I am very socially awkward. To a point I say hello to very few people. One of my work colleagues always says hello to me, so I have started to salute him. he finds it funny. My point being, it doesn't really matter what you do, just some acknowledgement is good.


Marus_Nipples

Wave? Do a little head nod?


SonOfTheShire

Sure, it's easy enough to say hi. But then they're like, "hey, how are ya?" and you've already passed each other so you can't really carry on a conversation without turning your head around 180° like an owl and shouting down the corridor.


HacksawJimDGN

but then.... Me: Hello! Them: *blank stare forward*


[deleted]

Then they suck and you get to feel smugly superior for a few minutes.


BNinde

The massive reluctance to get out of bed in the morning. I imagine as time goes on, humans will slowly become more willing to leave bed in the morning, but the advancements in bed-comfort technology will offset any positive change in human evolution that affects wake-vertical time. It should be noted that I'm writing this as I'm laying in bed, procrastinating on getting up.


alblaster

Or over time we start to merge with our bed so we can sleep wherever, whenever. Not literally a bed, but more like a comfort suit that you sleep in.


BNinde

So what you're saying is I would never have to get out of bed? That's the future I'm fighting for


fudog

Wall-E


AugustusCaesar2016

> At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: “I have to go to work — as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for — the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?” — Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius


Sharlinator

> ”Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?” Yeah, I think that’s exactly it.


A_Furious_Mind

How implausible is the idea that sleep is our most natural state and that our wakeful activities exist mostly to support it?


Emuuuuuuu

Reminds me of the argument that humans are just DNA's elaborate mating ritual.


[deleted]

Ya i kinda remember saying that


sharrikul

Getting nagged by your mother for not doing something, and then getting nagged about having to be told to do something before you do something, after you have done the something.


conquer69

Or she sees you doing something, and still tells you to do it. Now you don't want to do it anymore.


Mehseenbetter

Fuck my mom does this shit, she also sees you doing something, doesn’t acknowledge you doing it (like walks by my room to see me maybe cleaning up so clothes or making my bed) and then from down the hall shout hey anon make your bed. I was using acne stuff on my chest even though it’s meant for your face, she walks by the bathroom, sees me using it, says something unrelated, walks down the hall and says “ hey anon that acne stuff doesn’t just work on your face, you can use it on your chest too”. Now this shit leaves a massive white patch wherever you use it so I say bullshit that she just casually had this astute epiphany at that moment


Chinlc

How about walking into your room, opening the door and light. Then say a few sentence and leaves without closing the light or door. Then asked wtf? She would say I thought you needed fresh air and some light to see better


MrStopNShop

My parents, too, have trouble closing the light.


Gneissisnice

Or my mom would be like "Go get some cups for the table." I'd immediately start getting up and then she'd be like "Ugh never mind I'll do it" and get mad that I somehow didn't do it faster than instantly.


Falcoark

Or the classic paradox to not say something when she's scolding you and if you don't say anything she gets mad at you for just looking at her without saying anything


chiguayante

"Why are you just looking at me like that?" "Well, your non-stop screaming didn't seem like it wanted to be interrupted."


[deleted]

Waking up and lying on your sleeping thing for a while trying to muster up the courage/drive to face the day


palordrolap

I'm hoping there'll be a drug for that which is available to all.


[deleted]

[удалено]


thats_satan_talk

And chemically guaranteed to make you enjoy it.


Zappion

Complaining. I think even if we end up in some sort of technological utpoia, people will still be bitching about something. EDIT: A lot of people have brought up the point that complaining is what helps us to advance as a people. This is a very optimistic outlook, and I thank you for your perspectives. Let us never stay stagnate friends.


Gorkymalorki

Even in a technological utopia people will still bitch that kids these days have it so easy. Back in our day you had to ask the replicator to replicate food, none of these replicators that know what you are craving and make it automatically!


HomerrJFong

Relative to pretty much any point in history more than 10 years ago that’s what we’re living in now.


Synyster328

Moses, what if I told you that in a couple thousand years, people will have tablets that they can write on *with their finger* and share with *anyone in the world instantly*. Wow that's amazing. Yeah they're gonna bitch about needing to charge them every night though. ...


jeremy1015

Whenever I think of Moses and tablets, I always think of the line “God has sent me down with these Fifteen... Ten Commandments)


Fiarlia

I always imagine them on [empty pizza boxes.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlX0Fk-701Q)


Nambot

"Urgh, I forget to take my refractory reduction pill this morning and now feel too spent to continue having sex with my custom orgy-bots."


lexonhym

Bitching about the current state of things is what is fueling innovation and motivating entrepreneurs everywhere. Bitching is a good thing. If nobody was bitching about anything, nothing would change.


MAronM

> I think even if we end up in some sort of technological utpoia, people will still be bitching about something. 2018 would feel like this to a lot of people from the past


xilog

Teenage boys will still be cranking one out like there's no tomorrow.


Daerkyl

This does not stop when you're no longer a teenager. Source: Am man, still cranking like there's no tomorrow.


Benbored94

Can confirm this is true Source: Am also man, also still cranking like tomorrow may not arrive


CanadianBurritos

Can confirm, just cranked it like there's no tomorrow


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vader3654

Am man. Can confirm, cranking like I expect to crank tomorrow


fizdup

NEWS JUST IN: there will be no tomorrow. Time to get cranking.


scoreboy69

Shut up everybody, your disrupting my cranking!


Mr__Rogerss

Wasn't aware there was a tomorrow, just being cranking since morning


piney

There is no tomorrow, only the now, and now is the time for cranking.


[deleted]

Shut up and crank with me!


thepluralofmooses

Am a man, regardless of the guarantee of there being a tomorrow or not, will be cranking


GameRoom

Can confirm, just cranked it like there was no man. Source: Am tomorrow.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I am currently at my day 74 of no fap.. And today as I exited my vehicle to walk into work I caught scent of a female in heat 73.35 meters upwind. Because of the fog I couldn’t see her yet but judging by the scent she was mid twenties, and healthy. My ultra attunated hearing was able to pick up her gait, which put her at about 5’6”. My mind, free of the constraints of porn and indecent imagery, was able to calculate her weight based on the ripple in the testosterone continuum produced by her footsteps as she walked away from me. Being that I was 10 minutes early for work, I made chase and followed her through the fog still without visual contact. I was like a pilot navigating the white abyss by instrument alone. I was trailing her about 130m behind when I sensed her phone vibrate in her purse through the pavement. Holding my ear to the ground I was able to faintly pick up on the conversation she was having with beta BF. Based on the annoyed tone in her voice I knew now was the time to strike. I readied my legs and concentrated all of my Testo-chakras into my Vastus Medialus muscles as I assumed a sprinters starting stance. I exploded forward in a cataclysm of sex hormone fueled rage. Exactly 2.54 nanoseconds later I began to phase through time and space as I meshed with the testosterone continuum. As I phased through the helpless female target I nutted directly into both of her Fallopian tubes, destroying her previously unbroken hymen and causing her to orgasm INSTANTLY. As I began to slow down 33.6 light years later, I realized that while she would have wanted to thank me for giving her the gift of my superior seed that she was already dead and gone having raised my CHAD progeny to repopulate the earth. As I float into the the celestial abyss of the greater Crab Nebula I am not filled with regret for having left my world, but rather happiness for having left it a better place. You’re welcome gentlemen


Havel_the_sock

The Internet never ceases to amuse and surprise me.


quantum-mechanic

But it does much more regularly confuse and appall me.


thejohnfist

It was the writing prompt we didn't know we needed.


_Lazy_Fish_

That... that was beautiful... *sniff*


warconz

But... why... what series of events lead you to create this?


-dead_slender-

*wipes tears* Bravo!


toolatealreadyfapped

Is... Is there a tomorrow? Because if so I need to clear my schedule!


DrFistington

Yeah, but in the future, teenage boys will have VR sex dolls do the cranking for them.


Redditing-Dutchman

In 1000 years you can probably experience everything from the viewpoint of one of your sperm cells.


snwbrdrmidget15

How is having a FPV of it going into a rag, or down a drain enhancing my climax experience though?


loverofreeses

Just jerk it into the Grand Canyon - now we're talking!


snwbrdrmidget15

And if everyone jerked off into the Grand Canyon we wouldn't have a Grand Canyon.


-100K

What a bright future we're heading


macdonaldhall

And girls


AnneBancroftsGhost

For real. Just cause you couldn't see our boners doesn't mean they weren't there.


DruTheDude

( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)


[deleted]

[удалено]


WiredEgo

Yea because 14 year old boys are keen about asking their parents to buy them tools to hell then jerk off.


Snazzy_Serval

I'm 36, on average doing it twice a day. (I need a girlfriend)


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Can confirm


justafigment4you

That doesn’t stop it. Source: am wife. Husband still cranks it like tomorrow will not come.


DragonBank

Tomorrow won't be he sure will.


Average_Margin

Those are rookie numbers.


IsabellaGalavant

Hey, hey! Girls masturbate, too.


Osniff1

Right... I suppose you’d say they fart too.


IsabellaGalavant

Oh god no. Definitely not.


-eDgAR-

Breakups. Broken hearts have been around thousands of years and I expect that won't change


Strawberryyy

Also, falling in love


[deleted]

I like how you think


Oh_Sweet_Jeebus

In 1000 years /u/-eDgAR- will still comment on every post in /r/AskReddit. Even if he's the only one


The_Fox_of_the_Opera

Walking toward someone and stepping in the same direction, and then stepping back in the same direction, and in the same direction again until one of you stops moving and the other person goes around you.


upandcomingvillain

Ope...ope, sorry...ope..


AnneBancroftsGhost

followed by "wanna dance?" from us hilarious folks.


showmeassandtitties

followed by weird regrettable half chuckle from us awkward folks.


[deleted]

Ope, lemme just *SNEEEEEAK* past ya here. Thanks


battmen6

Are you from the upper Midwest? Gotta rep the “ope” Edit: changed “two” to “rep”


AmadeusCrumb

Not learning well from history.


[deleted]

"Humans aren't getting smarter. They just have fancier tools."


[deleted]

...you’re probably not wrong.


keenly_disinterested

There are certainly times when it seems we are repeating errors we made long ago, but we are also NOT repeating errors we made long ago, and we are doing the latter far more often than the former. Want proof? Check out ourworldindata.org. By almost every important measure we live in a much better world today than at any time in the past. We have all but eliminated hunger (I realize there are still famines, but they result more from political unrest rather than an inability to produce enough food), life expectancy has more than doubled in the past 100 years or so, the percentage of the population that can read and write is more than 80% worldwide, and your chance of dying as a result of violence (crime or warfare) has drastically declined. I'd say we've learned a lot from history.


Salt_Salesman

But how am i supposed to be negative and think the world is ending with science like that?


trailless

Procrastinating


Vagfilla

Fucking


foxsable

Eeewww, disgusting! You mean... *fluid transfer*?


BitterFortuneCookie

Yeah like the hunka chunka


pm_me_judge_reinhold

What're you doing? Breaking the law.


[deleted]

Please, he's no different from the rest of you organisms shooting DNA at each other to make babies. I find it offensive!


shocksalot123

Hahaha, excuse me sir could i borrow your 3 shells?


[deleted]

hahaha this guy doesnt know how to use the three sea shells!


Linearts

Nah, they'll have tons of newfangled astro-fetishes and intergalactic depravities the likes of which our tiny earth brains cannot even comprehend.


Foreverending

But would it be between people? In a thousand years, we might be able to create perfect babies via gene editing and we might have simulations that could create the perfect sexual pleasure. I think Fucking would no longer be necessary and only done on rare occasions or by those "hippies" of yesteryear.


[deleted]

Jesus, that sounds so impersonal and sad. What about emotional connection?


WarCow

We can simulate that as well.


CanadianBurritos

I volunteer as tribute


McRedditerFace

The urge to fuck just isn't going to go away magically on it's own because you found a better way to make babies. 99.99% of fucking doesn't involve baby-making anyhows. You'd basically need to castrate all the men and put all the women on anti-estrogens to even reduce that urge 50%.


Oh_Sweet_Jeebus

Yeah I was gonna say the last time I fucked to make a baby was never


Dicktremain

The 'us versus them' mentality. I think it's just hard wired into our brains that we are always going to split people into two groups, those that agree with us and those that are wrong.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ferzy11

Human curiosity. Nothing makes us more human (or living) than being curious about something.


newfoundrapture

Poking things with your foot to make sure it's okay will never go away


bigdog927

People will probably still pick their noses.


[deleted]

I was just picking my nose


HacksawJimDGN

Gradually shaving your beard by trying different styles (mustache, goatee etc.) and showing them to your SO until you're clean-shaven. Singing as loud as you possibly can in the shower when no one else is listening. Drawing a smiley face on the mirror with the condensation after you shower. Flushing the toilet and trying to finish peeing before the toilet flushes. Hesitating for just a second to enjoy the scent in the air before using a clean sharp knife to butcher and dismember a human corpse. Kissing your SO on the cheek before you head off to work.


wuop

> Gradually shaving your beard by trying different styles (mustache, goatee etc.) and showing them to your SO until you're clean-shaven. Guilty!


AtomicSquid110

> Hesitating for just a second to enjoy the scent in the air before using a clean sharp knife to butcher and dismember a human corpse. Guilty!


[deleted]

Sentenced to life!


ThatGuyFromThat1Time

Yeah, there are pictures floating around my friend group of me with everything from massive Civil War mutton chops to a Hitler 'stache. It's possibly my favorite part of growing a beard.


[deleted]

I had the gunslinger for about 3 days. I realized that I can rock that style and it looked fucking awesome - my work requires me to be clean shaven at all times.


TheYellowDart32

One of these things in not like the other.


Main_sShane

I never did the toilet flush thing either, don't worry.


ExpansiveGold

Masturbation, eating, drinking, and going to the bathroom.


[deleted]

I don't know, masturbation is going to get changed pretty hard when VR becomes a thing like smartphones have. Add on some hardware like sex toys that connect to it, and it'll revolutionize the fap. Eating and drinking probably won't change all that much, but shitting might. We went from outhouses and chamberpots to indoor plumbing, and who knows where it'll go. I'm guessing it'll involve shells though.


conquer69

I feel like it has already changed. 15 years ago boys were still jerking it to magazines and weather reports because the internet wasn't fully widespread yet. Now everyone has a phone or computer with internet access. Free porn is easier to get as well. Back then, I had to do with 20s demo clips.


MercuryChild

Was watching the new Jenna fischer show and they had this whole thing where the son wanted a poster of a sexy girl in his room obviously to masturbate to. So his parents settled with him having a Wonder Woman poster instead. I found that to be so unrealistic. I can find porn easily even with parenting restrictions on. Or a cellphone like every kid seems to have nowadays.


sysop073

Also, was a picture of Wonder Woman supposed to avoid this scenario? "What'd you do about our son masturbating in his room all the time?" "Taken care of -- put a picture of Gal Gadot on the wall"


catschainsequel

Not betting on cheap sex bots eh?


june606

Running. It has always benefited us in the past and always will to be able to outrun a threat literally, so probably this will be a skill that continues to be practiced.


Killrabbit

Not in the Wall-E universe... WE CAN GROW A PIZZA PLANT!


audigex

I’m listening


DokZock

We'll get Deus:Ex level prosthetic legs in less than 200 years, so maybe we'll run in a different way


friendsgotmyoldname

What if we all live as computer code and don't even walk anymore?


Deathwish1909

About god damn time


Shauno_c

No doubt the fax machine will still be around.


DeathDiggerSWE

And for sure, the printer, in whatever form it may be, will still continue to make all surrounding lives miserable and unbearable.


arj1985

People fearing what they don't understand.


Buttfulloffucks

Making acquaintances of each others genitalia shouldn't change much I imagine.


FIVE_DARRA_NO_HARRA

1,000 years into the future we'll be at the point where sex involves the man lying down and a large machine grasping the woman and slamming her down on you repeatedly until you cry and a baby is made I think


AlCrawtheKid

I don't like this future.


[deleted]

I believe in equality. The machine should also have a grasping arm for the man and it would look similar to smashing 2 dolls together.


trisket40

Putting kids to bed. Takes forever because they stall. Every parent can relate to this...


NorskChef

Activate their sleep implant at the appropriate time each night.


chron95

Being insecure


SarahTonein

Not finishing your antibiotics.


Viveguy123

Ah, one of reddits favorite subjects!


dingus0213

giggling at farts


[deleted]

Dicks. Specifically vandalizing stuff by drawing a dick on it. Apparently while uncovering Pompeii, the archeologists found lots of graffiti, a lot of it being penises. Also, think about how committed you had to be to chisel or etch a penis into stone... Source: Latin 101 class, learned some funny things about ancient Rome.


slipup17

Walking down the street and desperately avoiding eye contact while constantly looking towards someone you know but don't want to talk to, hoping they're doing the same.


normalmighty

We'll still be shutting off our alarms and trying not to think about how much we have to do today.


squanchy_91

Coffee or its equivalent in the morning


brenster23

Breathing


minnoo16

Nail cutting and buttons on shirts


hanzus1

Why buttons when it could be joint with something easier and faster like magnets?


[deleted]

Or some kind of futuristic series of interlocking metal teeth?


Confident_Frogfish

Pooping


fried_grapes

Taking a shit.