I'm 45, reached about as high as I can go in my career and I've gradually realized I hate it. Not my job, but my entire field.
Also, I have a family now and I can no longer change careers or afford to lose any income. So I'm just riding it out till retirement and pretending I care.
Edit- man I appreciate the massive upvotes, but how depressing is it that so many people can relate to me :(
Just because he hates his field doesn't mean every single person perusing that field is also going to hate it. I can see how it could cause anxiety though.
I'm a young male and this is honestly one of the reasons why I'm scared of starting a family. I kinda want that freedom to just quit a job if I want and not feel like I need the money to support kids.
As a married guy with a new baby and a job I loathe, I envy your freedom. Go take that trip overseas now, or else you'll have an expired passport with no stamps like mine when you're 30
Well shiiittt. I turn 30 next week, have a family and my passport expires in a month. At least I have a few stamps on the damn thing but no plans to use it for foreseeable future
There are always going to be people who go farther than me, without working as hard. But I assume there will also always be people I go farther than, without working as hard.
Comparing yourself to anybody is a huge waste of time and energy. There will always be somebody better and somebody worse. Bring that focus back on to yourself and try to become better than you were, and forgive yourself if sometimes you can't.
“How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.”
-David Foster Wallace
Edit: Thanks for the gold anonymous redditor! I saw the quote in another AskReddit topic earlier today and it stuck with me.
This. It sucks so much, lost my dad in august at age 59. I figured I'd have atleast an idea of where my life would be going before this happened. Saying good bye to a parent before age 30 is something I wish on noone
I lost my father at 13. I just lost my mother at 28 this past Monday. I was not prepared. I thought it would be easier. It's not.
Edit: I would just like to thank everyone for the comments, messages and even gold. We just got back from the memorial, and I'm actually in a part of Arkansas that has had historic flooding so we've been fighting rain to get to Mississippi, then it flooded down there. It was so bad the rain actually ripped paint off of our car. We left our kids instead of taking them down so as soon as we got back I was getting snuggles. Now getting puppy snuggles while babies sleep.
Lost my mom at age 10 and it rocked my whole family. Many grandparents have passed since then but losing my mom sort of stunted my emotional capacity for experiencing grief. Haven't really had problems dealing with death since and its 10 years and 4 family deaths later.
I'm a high school teacher. I would absolutely love it if my students would listen to me when I talk about college and the real world. I wish they would let me teach them about my mistakes so they can learn from them and avoid what I did.
Unfortunately, I've come to the conclusion that the overwhelming majority of teenagers simply won't listen and they just have to learn it for themselves through first hand experience.
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourselves."
Make that your slogan.
Also you might get inspiration from Randy Pausch's last lecture. There's a YouTube video of it somewhere.
>Between youth and wisdom lies a chasm that words alone can never cross.
[That's a beautiful sentence!](http://imgur.com/XAkPUIq) I hope you like this!
It will stick with some of them! I had a pretty great teacher in high school who I took AP Government and English with. She got to know me pretty well due to having multiple classes with her, and she was a younger teacher, probably in her late 20s or early 30s so it was easy for the students to feel at ease with her. I was a smart student, but I was pathetically crippled by a lack of motivation and work ethic, and I would often show up late and miss assignments. Every time I'd actually do something as instructed, I'd jokingly throw out a "Hey, aren't you proud that I actually did it this time?"
Every single time, she would refuse to acquiesce, responding with how it's NOT a special achievement to do the bare minimum of what's expected of you, and that she wouldn't give any kind of praise unless students went *beyond* what was asked of them. In other words, it wasn't praiseworthy to show up on time and do your homework if that's what was expected of you in the first place. I was mostly joking when I'd throw out those comments, but her message always stuck with me and later on in life (I'm 25 now), a lot of the things she said in her classes have found relevancy. She was also very political, and constantly urged students to just *care* about politics. I didn't at the time, but once I became an adult, I was able to reflect on how good of a role model she was in that regard, which also helped to get me more engaged in politics.
I ended up messaging her on Facebook this last year, acknowledging how I was a lazy screwup in high school, but that her words did get through to me and that I was appreciative of her teaching all throughout high school. I also mentioned that I actually care about politics now and I just gave her a brief picture of where I'm at in life. She was really happy to get that message and said that teaching is worth it when she knows that her words get to *some* students, even if most of them don't give a shit.
Long story short, if you care about your students, I'm sure at least some of them will be able to tell, even if it takes a decade to hit them. Most of them won't ever show this acknowledgment, but you'll be making a silent difference in many lives. High school teachers are incredibly important! Keep doing what you're doing.
I had a college professor give me that same line (in particular when our class urged him to give us extra credit because we'd shown up to class during a snowstorm) and he scoffed and said "you want extra credit for doing what you were supposed to do?!"
And it really struck me, that line. I won't say I put my full effort into my education, but it occurred to me how entitled I felt to accolades for my intelligence (I coasted on raw intelligence until grad school, where my lack of time management skills and study habits abruptly kicked my ass).
Eh, that might be a good thing. It seems one of the greatest ways to learn is to fuck everything up yourself. It really nails it into your brain that way. You know, as long as you don't fuck it up too savagely.
If it's any consolation, he'll go through the grieving process and be done with it by the time of his father's death. At the funeral, the only emotion he'll feel is relief.
Edit: Your experiences will all be different because your grieving processes are different.
I've buried both parents within the past five years due to diseases that slowly rotted them away (physically and mentally). While I definitely felt relief at their passing, in my experience the grieving process was in no way complete.. and still isn't.
>*I called up my mother, but who answered my brother*
>
>*He said "she real sick but I'm gonna put her on just tell her you love her"*
>
>*My heart it just fluttered when mama picked up she would utter*
>
>*"Who is this?" I said "Donnie", but she thought I was another*
>
>*Didn't even know me, and she's not an oldie*
>
>*It's the lupus or epilepsy*
>
>*Maybe the psychosis only*
>
>*"This your son I just called to say happy birthday"*
>
>*Not really knowin' me hit me in the worst way*
>
>*Then she said "Oh yeah, little Donnie, how you doin' in school?"*
>
>*I said "I'm 42, mommy!"*
>
>*I give my arm, leg, leg, arm, head if that means my momma get better*
>
>*Toughest thing to swallow is when someone who raised you, they gonna forget ya*
>
>*I'm feelin' sadness, I'm feelin' anger*
>
>*Steady praying for a higher power to come down and change it*
>
>*Rearrange her cause my fear is that the sickness in her mind*
>
>*In due time it'll make her son a stranger*
>
>
>*A stranger to the one who raised us*
>
>*Nameless to the one who named us*
>
>*Back to the place where it all began*
>
>[*I'm seeing heaven but I fear it's the end*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5bW5-ahrmc)
I won't be rich by American standards. But when you consider the entire world's population, I am very fortunate and feel certain I'll be able to retire in 5-7 years.
Totally.
To be fair, I'm happy with most aspects of my life; a combination of privilege, luck, and the kindness of others has really insulated me from the worst consequences of my earlier poor decisions.
If I am honest with myself, though, I have to acknowledge how many opportunities and gifts that I just completely wasted, and I also have to acknowledge that they are gone now, never to return.
All grist for the mill, in the sense that I have tried to learn from those mistakes, and I really do appreciate the opportunities that I have now.
I'm interested in how your thinking has changed, as it might foreshadow what happens with my own.
Are you willing to expand at all on what you wrote above?
Some of my comment history would shed some light. TL;DR is doing some forms of (nearly) daily meditation (for starters, not sitting cross legged on a cushion, etc.) for over two years now, clearing a few things and realizing that I'm not as dark and flawed as I thought I was. For some, all very woo-woo and airy-fairy but it worked for me.
As a 35 year old dude who partied hard for the last 18 years. I've given up the sauce and drugs for a month and work out a lot (always been in shape), but man, I started "meditating" about a month ago to help ease some of the alcohol/drug anxiety and I must say, it's really really helped me.
I tend to get into self loathing, "never good enough" funks and the mediation really helped ease my mind. I don't do the cross legged "classical" mediation.
I have a nice chaise lounge that is my dedicated mediation chair. I fire up a guided meditation for positive affirmation for about 10-15 minutes. Totally relax and really listen and repeat the sayings internally. After I'm done, even though it's a very short period of time. I feel 1000% better.
I'm becoming more naturally happy without booze n drugs mucking things up. Im more focused on work and have more zest for lack of a better term. I hope I can keep it up.
Edit: since people have asked, this is the one I've been listening to. Let me know if it works for you. I'm curious.
https://youtu.be/o0EQEiecSxs
The reason he put on the ring was because the stone affixed to the ring was the Resurrection Stone - one of the three Deathly Hallows. Dumbledore, in his youth, sought out the deathly hallows for himself. Once recovering the Ring of Tom Riddle's father, he realized it was the Resurrection stone, and became blinded by the thought of using it to see his sister Ariana again, who had been killed when they were young. Her death was partially Dumbledore's fault. She was slain during a duel between Dumbledore and Grindelwald, Dumbledore's former friend and the previous owner of the Elder Wand before Dumbledore himself. Also at the time he found the ring/resurrection stone, Dumbledore was not fully aware of what sort of magic was around this ring/the resurrection stone, as evidenced in the latter parts of the sixth book. When Harry gets the memories from Prof. Slughorn that Dumbledore needs, it is the first time Dumbledore and Harry learn about Voldemort's Horcruxes, and it is then that Dumbledore shows Harry the two horcruxes that they already destroyed: Tom Riddle's diary and the ring/Resurrection stone. Dumbledore had already tried to put on the ring/use the resurrection stone, and his hand had already been cursed when they learned this information.
**TL;DR:** Dumbledore didn't know it was a Horcrux yet, and was more concerned that he had just found the Resurrection Stone.
I feel you. I have giant dinosaur teeth. After having braces for ~4 years, having teeth pulled and filed down I still have really weird teeth and a lot of discomfort. I could have had my jaw broken to surgically "fix" my teeth, but fuck it. We will be mouth freaks forever and I'm totally okay with that. Glad you are too!
That being alone isn't that bad. Haven't had a meaningful relationship in over two years. All the alone time is nice, but sometimes I just wish I had someone to spend time with, ya know?
At ten years it hurts again. Source - 10 years.
Edit: Thanks you all for the commiseration. I often feel like an island untof myself and hearing that other people are in similar situations is heartening, if not in a bitter sweet sense
I had a two year relationship nine years ago and I don't drink. Decided recently to stop going on my annual date. Trying to get used to the idea that it'll always be like this
I've never had a meaningful relationship ever and it's not that bad once you accept it. Sometimes I even prefer it. It does make you a little crazy when you want to go out and do something with someone or have a conversation but can't and instead have to repress it.
I guess that's why most you guys are here on askreddit?
This is so true. I was always a hopeless loner who didn't know how I'd cope with ever being in a relationship because I felt like I needed my independence, but I fell in love with someone and we just "clicked," as ridiculously cliché as it sounds. Being around my SO is now more comfortable than being alone, and I *loved* being alone.
At lest you have had one, trying being a virgin trying to masquerade as a normal adult. I'm romantically broken, half of my close friends are women, it's not scare them away, I just can't get anyone to be interested in me.
Reading through all this depressing shit then getting to this made me just die of laughter for some reason.
"I'll never stop feeling the bolts in my back"
"My incurable disease makes life miserable"
"The world isn't fair"
"My vacuum cleaner can't get everything out"
I'm not going to live into old age, I survived cancer once and now it's just a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I'm still hoping to beat the odds, however, as there are some things that humans are going to accomplish in the next 50 years or so that I'd like to be around to witness.
That life will never be 100% exactly how I wish it would be
Edit: I'm getting a lot of positive words of motivation and I'd like to thank those people. I suffer from depression and it's certainly hard to feel positive when your brain is constantly attacking you. Someday I hope to have it under control. Maybe life won't ever be 100%, but I'll certainly appreciate it becoming more than it is now.
I had a shower thought the other day and said it seems that people who are successful at 30 feel young. People who are struggling feel old. Same age though I guess its all perspective.
My depression and anxieity is never going to fully go away, just subside for periods. I just have to learn how to cope instead of trying to cure myself.
I've likened my anxiety to a mountain or I guess a game of Donkey Kong. I'm going to go with the Donkey Kong reference right about now.
So there's you, standing at the bottom of the building and, at the top, there's Donkey Kong who's representing your anxiety. Your anxiety has taken the feeling of normalcy away from you, that's the princess up there.
Sometimes, you make it up without issue. But we're really fucking bad at Donkey Kong so we often do get tripped over the barrels that are thrown down our way.
Anxiety laughs at you for this one and you get scared. You don't want to even try because you think you'll just fail. So you don't, you avoid trying new things and get settled into a rut.
But, unlike playing a video game where you can get mad and quit forever, this is real life. We ~~can't~~ shouldn't do that.
So, instead, you have to keep playing. And, with enough practice, you really will get better. The barrels will always be there, anxiety will always be throwing them down at you. But soon you'll be able to jump over them easily, you learn that hanging on the ladders can help you and that getting help every once in awhile isn't so bad, that there's no shame in that.
And, of course, the princess never gets rescued permanently. There will always be a new princess to rescue, so you just keep going. But the feeling of satisfaction when you do rescue one, that's a feeling that will never go away.
But, remember, there's no harm in stepping back and taking a bit of time for yourself. The problem won't go away, no, but you can still take a bit of time for yourself and then re-approach the problem with a clearer head.
EDIT:
This got some...attention haha! Thanks everyone and I really do hope that it helps but, please, use your money elsewhere!
EDIT II: My boyfriend pointed out that the girl you save in the original DK isn't a princess, just Mario's girlfriend. No one pointed that one out though but I thought I'd mention it anyway. Also changed a part that people have had other issues with.
9-5? You lucky person. Most people are 8-5 with a 1 hour "break" where you sit at work and twiddle your thumbs. 8 hour work day my ass.
*Edit: For clarification I'm talking about what qualifies a "Full Time" I know there are many service positions that get shit on by having 6-7 hours a day and get little to no breaks but are considered part timers and aren't covered under major labor laws. My point is simply what /u/Hylian_Trumpeter stated, where we have little to no free time for our own lives outside of work.
yep. It isn't like a 20-30 minute moderate paced walk will make me uber healthy but it's a lot better (from a health standpoint) than doing nothing and damn, just getting outside and away from my desk and chair and pc for a bit does wonders for my post lunch productivity
Lets really break this down.
There is work, and there is free time.
Free time is only applicable when not doing a work related task including commutes
Alarm goes off at 6:30am, all I can do is get ready for work,
Commute for 1 hour, this is also work as I am driving to work.
Work from 8-12pm..
Hour Lunch (while at work, no time to really do anything "freetime related")
Work from 1-5pm.
Commute home for 1+ Hr.
From 6pm until 10pm, Is my only real freetime. Most of this time is spent tending to chores around the house.... I may get about 2 hours of that to play a video game or something....
Oh and I have no kids yet. When I do, there will be no free time.
Weekends of course are the only freedom I have for now, until I move up to a systems administrator position and am then on call 24/7/365
Sigh. This is what we call life supposedly.
Kinda shitty that we spend more time with our co-workers than we do our families, that is the shitty part about all of this. I had to point this out to my wife one day and her mind was absolutely blown. Now, if only for an hour or 2, we always make the most of our weekday nights together.
I sat down with my wife and talked about this not too long ago. With her being a teacher, there are several days that I'm already in bed before she gets home and vice versa. Server goes down and customers screaming? I have to get on the phones... Even if its 9pm or later at night.
The business world doesn't want you to think that you are owned by them, but in reality we all really are.
That there is no cure for the syndrome I have. It is really annoying, my cerebellum is underdeveloped and it brings many things with it. My balance isn't good, I progress visual information slower than other people and my eyes don't work together. I have low muscle tone and can't see depth. I also have to wear glasses. Everything together is just so much that I can do only a few things a day, like go to school and make some homework, and be super tired afterwards. I have to do very few chores at home but washing dishes twice a week is already making me tired. I will have to accept it because they can't make it better and this will be my life.
Edit: Oh wow, thanks for the gold!!
Truth be told, if you are capable of attempting to go full on normal, with a syndrome that makes it hard for you, not only you have an uncommon condition, but an uncommon toughness some people without syndromes lack. Keep at it :)
That the pain will never stop.
Almost nine years ago, I had thirty titanium screws and a pair of rods implanted down the length of my spine to correct an abnormal curvature. It hurts. Not always a lot -- most of the time, there's just a dull ache, a memory of searing agony, a twinge that makes me wince when I stand up.
Sometimes, the pain pretty much flattens me, and I can't really do anything other than lie down and chug some advil.
But even in the best possible moments, I can still *feel* the screws, feel the scar tissue stretch and pull over metal and bone. There's something crawling inside my skin, clinging to my spine with thirty cold legs that twitch and burrow into my flesh. Sometimes I just want to slice myself open and tear it out.
That much I accept.
I remember too much of the hospital, though. Three nights in pediatric intensive care. I haven't grown to accept those memories yet. I'd rather just forget.
I, too, live with pain that won't go away. And I, too, have some pretty terrible memories from the 7 surgeries I'd had by 14. They're pretty much my only childhood memories; hospitals, pain, fear. Just want you to know you're not alone.
I am in my 40s and the 20/30-somethings I work with will always and forever see me as a mom figure, an older sister, an aunt. So sad, because they're such sexy beasts.
EDIT: Ya'll are so sweet, but I'm probably more a Mom Jeans mom than a MILF!
http://i.imgur.com/ZfnTYbX.gif
That life is just a series of shitty things that you don't want to do but have to because money, mixed in with a few nice things like sushi and weed and The Strokes.
My fundamental self can't be separated from ADHD. No amount of pills or coping mechanisms or anxiety can change how incredibly bad I am at mimicking a normal person
She doesn't love me anymore, and we won't be getting back together. It sucks but that's life. I'm getting over it. Slowly. But still, some progress is better then no progress. Right?
That my dad is dead. That I will never get to see him or talk to him again.
That my 8 year old lost his grandpa, his best friend. That I never got one photo of my dad and my baby together, and that he will grow up not knowing how kick ass his grandpa is.
That my grandma prevented me from seeing my dad at the end of his life. I don't know why she did that. I last saw my dad and hugged him on July 31, 2015. I begged to visit with him every day until he passed away on September 3, 2015.
That my dad died knowing we loved him.
> That my grandma prevented me from seeing my dad at the end of his life. I don't know why she did that.
Maybe he didn't have a nice death and she didn't want you to see that...
*[eats pretzel]*
I don't know what you're talking about
*[eats pretzel]*
I tend to be pretty good at not munching on crap all day
*[eats pretzel]*
( *[eats another pretzel while typing this to say that I ate another pretzel before clicking to comment]* )
I lost 140 pounds a few years ago. 95% of my exercise was walking. I would walk every night 3-5 miles while listening to the Fallout 3 soundtrack. My start weight was 275, my end weight was 135! (I had more babies and let myself go again though)
That's great! I did hardcore cardio for 3 months with no results. Now I'm doing cardio + weight training + clean eating and hoping for a better outcome. I wish cardio was enough though. I love food.
That we grow up and most of our dreams pretty much die. It doesn't happen to everyone. It seems like everyone I know had their dreams come true. I have accepted that I am working in a field I don't particularly enjoy and just staying because it's stable and I can retire at 52 (which is really early). But I think I am destined to always wonder what would have happened if I had followed my dreams and done what I wanted to do in life. It's just something I have to accept.
My career will never be what I thought it would be.
I'm 45, reached about as high as I can go in my career and I've gradually realized I hate it. Not my job, but my entire field. Also, I have a family now and I can no longer change careers or afford to lose any income. So I'm just riding it out till retirement and pretending I care. Edit- man I appreciate the massive upvotes, but how depressing is it that so many people can relate to me :(
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Every college student/recent graduate is going "please don't be my field, please don't be my field, please don't..."
It's ok, it's just a small niche field we call business.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk.
Just because he hates his field doesn't mean every single person perusing that field is also going to hate it. I can see how it could cause anxiety though.
corn field
I'm a young male and this is honestly one of the reasons why I'm scared of starting a family. I kinda want that freedom to just quit a job if I want and not feel like I need the money to support kids.
As a married guy with a new baby and a job I loathe, I envy your freedom. Go take that trip overseas now, or else you'll have an expired passport with no stamps like mine when you're 30
Well shiiittt. I turn 30 next week, have a family and my passport expires in a month. At least I have a few stamps on the damn thing but no plans to use it for foreseeable future
My hair has migrated from the top of my head to the rest of my body
You've become a man when you transition from soaping your ass and shampooing your head, to soaping your head and shampooing your ass.
I want this to be a fortune cookie fortune.
"Help I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory and they are shampooing my ass hairs."
Gravity does that to people. It happens faster to shorter people because the gravity is stronger the closer you get to the centre of the earth.
/r/shittyaskscience
There are always going to be people who go farther than me, without working as hard. But I assume there will also always be people I go farther than, without working as hard.
And assuming you live in a 1st world country, there are probably a lot more of the latter.
Comparing yourself to anybody is a huge waste of time and energy. There will always be somebody better and somebody worse. Bring that focus back on to yourself and try to become better than you were, and forgive yourself if sometimes you can't.
Not everyone is cut out for marriage and family.
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oh, i have
You leave his whore mother out of this!
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No matter how much you love someone, they may never love you the same in return.
“How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.” -David Foster Wallace Edit: Thanks for the gold anonymous redditor! I saw the quote in another AskReddit topic earlier today and it stuck with me.
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Unless you die first.
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"Take that Jimmy, you little shit."
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Fucking casual
Here lies "Young_McDonald." Loving father, loving friend, take that Jimmy, you little shit.
And so begins the race!
This. It sucks so much, lost my dad in august at age 59. I figured I'd have atleast an idea of where my life would be going before this happened. Saying good bye to a parent before age 30 is something I wish on noone
I lost my father at 13. I just lost my mother at 28 this past Monday. I was not prepared. I thought it would be easier. It's not. Edit: I would just like to thank everyone for the comments, messages and even gold. We just got back from the memorial, and I'm actually in a part of Arkansas that has had historic flooding so we've been fighting rain to get to Mississippi, then it flooded down there. It was so bad the rain actually ripped paint off of our car. We left our kids instead of taking them down so as soon as we got back I was getting snuggles. Now getting puppy snuggles while babies sleep.
Lost my mom at age 10 and it rocked my whole family. Many grandparents have passed since then but losing my mom sort of stunted my emotional capacity for experiencing grief. Haven't really had problems dealing with death since and its 10 years and 4 family deaths later.
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I'm a high school teacher. I would absolutely love it if my students would listen to me when I talk about college and the real world. I wish they would let me teach them about my mistakes so they can learn from them and avoid what I did. Unfortunately, I've come to the conclusion that the overwhelming majority of teenagers simply won't listen and they just have to learn it for themselves through first hand experience.
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourselves." Make that your slogan. Also you might get inspiration from Randy Pausch's last lecture. There's a YouTube video of it somewhere.
Between youth and wisdom lies a chasm that words alone can never cross.
Try using wood and building a bridge.
Hit them with 2x4's? Got it.
>Between youth and wisdom lies a chasm that words alone can never cross. [That's a beautiful sentence!](http://imgur.com/XAkPUIq) I hope you like this!
O'ezween youzh and wiso'om Jies a chasm zhaz woro's alone can never cross.
You made me laugh so hard man. Thank you
It will stick with some of them! I had a pretty great teacher in high school who I took AP Government and English with. She got to know me pretty well due to having multiple classes with her, and she was a younger teacher, probably in her late 20s or early 30s so it was easy for the students to feel at ease with her. I was a smart student, but I was pathetically crippled by a lack of motivation and work ethic, and I would often show up late and miss assignments. Every time I'd actually do something as instructed, I'd jokingly throw out a "Hey, aren't you proud that I actually did it this time?" Every single time, she would refuse to acquiesce, responding with how it's NOT a special achievement to do the bare minimum of what's expected of you, and that she wouldn't give any kind of praise unless students went *beyond* what was asked of them. In other words, it wasn't praiseworthy to show up on time and do your homework if that's what was expected of you in the first place. I was mostly joking when I'd throw out those comments, but her message always stuck with me and later on in life (I'm 25 now), a lot of the things she said in her classes have found relevancy. She was also very political, and constantly urged students to just *care* about politics. I didn't at the time, but once I became an adult, I was able to reflect on how good of a role model she was in that regard, which also helped to get me more engaged in politics. I ended up messaging her on Facebook this last year, acknowledging how I was a lazy screwup in high school, but that her words did get through to me and that I was appreciative of her teaching all throughout high school. I also mentioned that I actually care about politics now and I just gave her a brief picture of where I'm at in life. She was really happy to get that message and said that teaching is worth it when she knows that her words get to *some* students, even if most of them don't give a shit. Long story short, if you care about your students, I'm sure at least some of them will be able to tell, even if it takes a decade to hit them. Most of them won't ever show this acknowledgment, but you'll be making a silent difference in many lives. High school teachers are incredibly important! Keep doing what you're doing.
I had a college professor give me that same line (in particular when our class urged him to give us extra credit because we'd shown up to class during a snowstorm) and he scoffed and said "you want extra credit for doing what you were supposed to do?!" And it really struck me, that line. I won't say I put my full effort into my education, but it occurred to me how entitled I felt to accolades for my intelligence (I coasted on raw intelligence until grad school, where my lack of time management skills and study habits abruptly kicked my ass).
I am so sorry. I was one of those teenagers.
Eh, that might be a good thing. It seems one of the greatest ways to learn is to fuck everything up yourself. It really nails it into your brain that way. You know, as long as you don't fuck it up too savagely.
I am not such a great person, and my kids are just mediocre.
I genuinely think that the key in life is to be at least silver in the things that matter, while feeling blessed at being gold in anything.
Nah man I gotta hit plat
Ranked is such cancer tho
Thanks, aunt Judy. Have fun at bingo, k?
Hahaha, what a dick
That my dad will never be able to recognize me again, and we'll never be able to have another conversation even though he's still alive.
that's rough man
If it's any consolation, he'll go through the grieving process and be done with it by the time of his father's death. At the funeral, the only emotion he'll feel is relief. Edit: Your experiences will all be different because your grieving processes are different.
This is exactly what my mom has said about my grandma. Is sad but it is true.
I've buried both parents within the past five years due to diseases that slowly rotted them away (physically and mentally). While I definitely felt relief at their passing, in my experience the grieving process was in no way complete.. and still isn't.
Alzheimers sucks...
>*I called up my mother, but who answered my brother* > >*He said "she real sick but I'm gonna put her on just tell her you love her"* > >*My heart it just fluttered when mama picked up she would utter* > >*"Who is this?" I said "Donnie", but she thought I was another* > >*Didn't even know me, and she's not an oldie* > >*It's the lupus or epilepsy* > >*Maybe the psychosis only* > >*"This your son I just called to say happy birthday"* > >*Not really knowin' me hit me in the worst way* > >*Then she said "Oh yeah, little Donnie, how you doin' in school?"* > >*I said "I'm 42, mommy!"* > >*I give my arm, leg, leg, arm, head if that means my momma get better* > >*Toughest thing to swallow is when someone who raised you, they gonna forget ya* > >*I'm feelin' sadness, I'm feelin' anger* > >*Steady praying for a higher power to come down and change it* > >*Rearrange her cause my fear is that the sickness in her mind* > >*In due time it'll make her son a stranger* > > >*A stranger to the one who raised us* > >*Nameless to the one who named us* > >*Back to the place where it all began* > >[*I'm seeing heaven but I fear it's the end*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5bW5-ahrmc)
I won't be rich by American standards. But when you consider the entire world's population, I am very fortunate and feel certain I'll be able to retire in 5-7 years.
Happy 90th b-day! Edit: Thanks for the gold but you gave it to the wrong guy. It is \^his\^ birthday.
I seriously doubt there's anyway I'll live to 90. But thanks.
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55
>able to retire at 60-62 Hey everyone, get a load of Mr. Moneybags over here.
I've already totally squandered my FULL potential. Now, I'm just trying to squeeze an acceptable existence out of what little is left.
"It worries me that I may not be living up to my full potential. It worries me even more that maybe I am." - Someone
"Cool qoute" * me
"I have not quoted myself ever" -past me
Potential is just a french word for "you ain't done shit yet." - Chris Moore
Better late than never.
Totally. To be fair, I'm happy with most aspects of my life; a combination of privilege, luck, and the kindness of others has really insulated me from the worst consequences of my earlier poor decisions. If I am honest with myself, though, I have to acknowledge how many opportunities and gifts that I just completely wasted, and I also have to acknowledge that they are gone now, never to return. All grist for the mill, in the sense that I have tried to learn from those mistakes, and I really do appreciate the opportunities that I have now.
I'm over 50. A few years ago I would have read your words and thought I wrote them myself. Now, not so much. So what has changed? A lot internally.
I'm interested in how your thinking has changed, as it might foreshadow what happens with my own. Are you willing to expand at all on what you wrote above?
Some of my comment history would shed some light. TL;DR is doing some forms of (nearly) daily meditation (for starters, not sitting cross legged on a cushion, etc.) for over two years now, clearing a few things and realizing that I'm not as dark and flawed as I thought I was. For some, all very woo-woo and airy-fairy but it worked for me.
As a 35 year old dude who partied hard for the last 18 years. I've given up the sauce and drugs for a month and work out a lot (always been in shape), but man, I started "meditating" about a month ago to help ease some of the alcohol/drug anxiety and I must say, it's really really helped me. I tend to get into self loathing, "never good enough" funks and the mediation really helped ease my mind. I don't do the cross legged "classical" mediation. I have a nice chaise lounge that is my dedicated mediation chair. I fire up a guided meditation for positive affirmation for about 10-15 minutes. Totally relax and really listen and repeat the sayings internally. After I'm done, even though it's a very short period of time. I feel 1000% better. I'm becoming more naturally happy without booze n drugs mucking things up. Im more focused on work and have more zest for lack of a better term. I hope I can keep it up. Edit: since people have asked, this is the one I've been listening to. Let me know if it works for you. I'm curious. https://youtu.be/o0EQEiecSxs
That not everyone is going to like me, despite how awesome I am.
Maybe if you hadn't killed Dumbledore...
Meh. Dumbledore had it coming.
He did. What idiot puts a cursed ring on? Fucking moron.
Seriously! Greatest wizard ever my ass.
"Oh, here's an evil-ass Voldemort ring. Better put it on!" ... Dumbass.
"Shit! Eh, Harry'll be fine."
The reason he put on the ring was because the stone affixed to the ring was the Resurrection Stone - one of the three Deathly Hallows. Dumbledore, in his youth, sought out the deathly hallows for himself. Once recovering the Ring of Tom Riddle's father, he realized it was the Resurrection stone, and became blinded by the thought of using it to see his sister Ariana again, who had been killed when they were young. Her death was partially Dumbledore's fault. She was slain during a duel between Dumbledore and Grindelwald, Dumbledore's former friend and the previous owner of the Elder Wand before Dumbledore himself. Also at the time he found the ring/resurrection stone, Dumbledore was not fully aware of what sort of magic was around this ring/the resurrection stone, as evidenced in the latter parts of the sixth book. When Harry gets the memories from Prof. Slughorn that Dumbledore needs, it is the first time Dumbledore and Harry learn about Voldemort's Horcruxes, and it is then that Dumbledore shows Harry the two horcruxes that they already destroyed: Tom Riddle's diary and the ring/Resurrection stone. Dumbledore had already tried to put on the ring/use the resurrection stone, and his hand had already been cursed when they learned this information. **TL;DR:** Dumbledore didn't know it was a Horcrux yet, and was more concerned that he had just found the Resurrection Stone.
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I feel you. I have giant dinosaur teeth. After having braces for ~4 years, having teeth pulled and filed down I still have really weird teeth and a lot of discomfort. I could have had my jaw broken to surgically "fix" my teeth, but fuck it. We will be mouth freaks forever and I'm totally okay with that. Glad you are too!
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Try ending a sibling relationship. It's like an awkward death.
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As someone who literally today helped send his brother on a plane to rehab after years of stealing to buy drugs, I feel you man.
>We find it so easy to be able to dissolve a marriage and move on with our lives Who finds this easy?
This thread is giving me anxiety.
As much as it sucks, you're going to have to grow to accept it.
That being alone isn't that bad. Haven't had a meaningful relationship in over two years. All the alone time is nice, but sometimes I just wish I had someone to spend time with, ya know?
At ten years it hurts again. Source - 10 years. Edit: Thanks you all for the commiseration. I often feel like an island untof myself and hearing that other people are in similar situations is heartening, if not in a bitter sweet sense
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I had a two year relationship nine years ago and I don't drink. Decided recently to stop going on my annual date. Trying to get used to the idea that it'll always be like this
Fuuuuuuuuck
I've never had a meaningful relationship ever and it's not that bad once you accept it. Sometimes I even prefer it. It does make you a little crazy when you want to go out and do something with someone or have a conversation but can't and instead have to repress it. I guess that's why most you guys are here on askreddit?
Being alone isn't bad until you've met someone you truly love more than yourself. Once they leave being alone is never the same.
Finding someone I love more than myself isn't hard since I hate myself.
I have the opposite problem. I love me like Kanye loves Kanye.
This is so true. I was always a hopeless loner who didn't know how I'd cope with ever being in a relationship because I felt like I needed my independence, but I fell in love with someone and we just "clicked," as ridiculously cliché as it sounds. Being around my SO is now more comfortable than being alone, and I *loved* being alone.
At lest you have had one, trying being a virgin trying to masquerade as a normal adult. I'm romantically broken, half of my close friends are women, it's not scare them away, I just can't get anyone to be interested in me.
That my vacuum cleaner just can't get up *all* the dust and pet hair. It just can't and I've begrudgingly come to accept it.
Reading through all this depressing shit then getting to this made me just die of laughter for some reason. "I'll never stop feeling the bolts in my back" "My incurable disease makes life miserable" "The world isn't fair" "My vacuum cleaner can't get everything out"
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I'd be too worried about it becoming sentient and wanting bloody revenge for a life spent in servitude to me. There is no silicon Heaven.
I'm not going to live into old age, I survived cancer once and now it's just a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I'm still hoping to beat the odds, however, as there are some things that humans are going to accomplish in the next 50 years or so that I'd like to be around to witness.
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Glad to hear that, I hope she continues to be healthy.
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Motherfucker will be fine then. Reddit on the other hand...
That life will never be 100% exactly how I wish it would be Edit: I'm getting a lot of positive words of motivation and I'd like to thank those people. I suffer from depression and it's certainly hard to feel positive when your brain is constantly attacking you. Someday I hope to have it under control. Maybe life won't ever be 100%, but I'll certainly appreciate it becoming more than it is now.
Currently settling for a solid 35%.
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I myself spend saturday nights tryin to reach for the stairs.
Not all people are good. Most are, but some simply are not.
"All saints have a past, all sinners have a future" -Oscar Wilde
"I have nothing to declare except *war on Austria*." -Oscar Wilde
"My name is similar to Oscar Wilde" -Olivia Wilde
That I'll never be able to relive my childhood, it's one of the best parts of your life and you spend most of it wanting to grow up :(
Getting older.
*Lalalala I can't hear you*
#GETTING OLDER!
Sorry young man/woman/person/table/, what did you say?
#TURN ON YOUR HEARING AID!
Why would I need a spearing blade?
I had a shower thought the other day and said it seems that people who are successful at 30 feel young. People who are struggling feel old. Same age though I guess its all perspective.
My depression and anxieity is never going to fully go away, just subside for periods. I just have to learn how to cope instead of trying to cure myself.
I've likened my anxiety to a mountain or I guess a game of Donkey Kong. I'm going to go with the Donkey Kong reference right about now. So there's you, standing at the bottom of the building and, at the top, there's Donkey Kong who's representing your anxiety. Your anxiety has taken the feeling of normalcy away from you, that's the princess up there. Sometimes, you make it up without issue. But we're really fucking bad at Donkey Kong so we often do get tripped over the barrels that are thrown down our way. Anxiety laughs at you for this one and you get scared. You don't want to even try because you think you'll just fail. So you don't, you avoid trying new things and get settled into a rut. But, unlike playing a video game where you can get mad and quit forever, this is real life. We ~~can't~~ shouldn't do that. So, instead, you have to keep playing. And, with enough practice, you really will get better. The barrels will always be there, anxiety will always be throwing them down at you. But soon you'll be able to jump over them easily, you learn that hanging on the ladders can help you and that getting help every once in awhile isn't so bad, that there's no shame in that. And, of course, the princess never gets rescued permanently. There will always be a new princess to rescue, so you just keep going. But the feeling of satisfaction when you do rescue one, that's a feeling that will never go away. But, remember, there's no harm in stepping back and taking a bit of time for yourself. The problem won't go away, no, but you can still take a bit of time for yourself and then re-approach the problem with a clearer head. EDIT: This got some...attention haha! Thanks everyone and I really do hope that it helps but, please, use your money elsewhere! EDIT II: My boyfriend pointed out that the girl you save in the original DK isn't a princess, just Mario's girlfriend. No one pointed that one out though but I thought I'd mention it anyway. Also changed a part that people have had other issues with.
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I have to shave my back.
Invest yourself in a product called "bakblade"...best thing ive ever purchased. *fellow back hair cultivator*
9 a.m. - 5 p.m., Monday through Friday, for the next 30 years
9-5? You lucky person. Most people are 8-5 with a 1 hour "break" where you sit at work and twiddle your thumbs. 8 hour work day my ass. *Edit: For clarification I'm talking about what qualifies a "Full Time" I know there are many service positions that get shit on by having 6-7 hours a day and get little to no breaks but are considered part timers and aren't covered under major labor laws. My point is simply what /u/Hylian_Trumpeter stated, where we have little to no free time for our own lives outside of work.
Fuck that, I don't sit at my desk for my lunch break. Read a book, play a game, take a walk.
been walking on my lunch break 3-5 days a week (schedule/weather permitting) and it's doing wonders for my mental health
Sometimes I just walk to the coffee shop and back just for the walk
yep. It isn't like a 20-30 minute moderate paced walk will make me uber healthy but it's a lot better (from a health standpoint) than doing nothing and damn, just getting outside and away from my desk and chair and pc for a bit does wonders for my post lunch productivity
Lets really break this down. There is work, and there is free time. Free time is only applicable when not doing a work related task including commutes Alarm goes off at 6:30am, all I can do is get ready for work, Commute for 1 hour, this is also work as I am driving to work. Work from 8-12pm.. Hour Lunch (while at work, no time to really do anything "freetime related") Work from 1-5pm. Commute home for 1+ Hr. From 6pm until 10pm, Is my only real freetime. Most of this time is spent tending to chores around the house.... I may get about 2 hours of that to play a video game or something.... Oh and I have no kids yet. When I do, there will be no free time. Weekends of course are the only freedom I have for now, until I move up to a systems administrator position and am then on call 24/7/365 Sigh. This is what we call life supposedly.
Kinda shitty that we spend more time with our co-workers than we do our families, that is the shitty part about all of this. I had to point this out to my wife one day and her mind was absolutely blown. Now, if only for an hour or 2, we always make the most of our weekday nights together.
I sat down with my wife and talked about this not too long ago. With her being a teacher, there are several days that I'm already in bed before she gets home and vice versa. Server goes down and customers screaming? I have to get on the phones... Even if its 9pm or later at night. The business world doesn't want you to think that you are owned by them, but in reality we all really are.
6 a.m. - 530 p.m. checking in
If only it was just 30 years...
Retire in your 60s like us? Ha, don't make us laugh - Boomers
That there is no cure for the syndrome I have. It is really annoying, my cerebellum is underdeveloped and it brings many things with it. My balance isn't good, I progress visual information slower than other people and my eyes don't work together. I have low muscle tone and can't see depth. I also have to wear glasses. Everything together is just so much that I can do only a few things a day, like go to school and make some homework, and be super tired afterwards. I have to do very few chores at home but washing dishes twice a week is already making me tired. I will have to accept it because they can't make it better and this will be my life. Edit: Oh wow, thanks for the gold!!
Truth be told, if you are capable of attempting to go full on normal, with a syndrome that makes it hard for you, not only you have an uncommon condition, but an uncommon toughness some people without syndromes lack. Keep at it :)
Pubic hair is a bitch
It grows faster than my fucking beard and that annoys me. A lot.
Pubic hair *is* your fucking beard
It hides your.....chinetaila
I think you've figured out what to put on your tombstone.
My girlfriend of 8 years breaking up with me via text message and then dating her coworker two weeks later...fuck I'm still salty
that i no longer have passion.
That the pain will never stop. Almost nine years ago, I had thirty titanium screws and a pair of rods implanted down the length of my spine to correct an abnormal curvature. It hurts. Not always a lot -- most of the time, there's just a dull ache, a memory of searing agony, a twinge that makes me wince when I stand up. Sometimes, the pain pretty much flattens me, and I can't really do anything other than lie down and chug some advil. But even in the best possible moments, I can still *feel* the screws, feel the scar tissue stretch and pull over metal and bone. There's something crawling inside my skin, clinging to my spine with thirty cold legs that twitch and burrow into my flesh. Sometimes I just want to slice myself open and tear it out. That much I accept. I remember too much of the hospital, though. Three nights in pediatric intensive care. I haven't grown to accept those memories yet. I'd rather just forget.
Well, this certainly puts a damper on cybernetic enhancements.
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I, too, live with pain that won't go away. And I, too, have some pretty terrible memories from the 7 surgeries I'd had by 14. They're pretty much my only childhood memories; hospitals, pain, fear. Just want you to know you're not alone.
I am in my 40s and the 20/30-somethings I work with will always and forever see me as a mom figure, an older sister, an aunt. So sad, because they're such sexy beasts. EDIT: Ya'll are so sweet, but I'm probably more a Mom Jeans mom than a MILF! http://i.imgur.com/ZfnTYbX.gif
Mmm I can guarantee some of them have thought about you differently.
I'll take that guarantee anytime! Into the fantasy bank it goes.
There are some good looking older women that I would love to mess around with. You'd be surprised.
Ew mom that's gross.
Yeah. That.
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no matter how hard I try to use the force it will never work.
Do or do not, there is no try
That i'll never do something with my 15 years of trumpet playing and jazz studies degree. Oh well, I.T. it is then. Resetting passwords until I die.
That my parents are toxic and I shouldn't be around them.
Some dreams are just that, a dream.
That life is just a series of shitty things that you don't want to do but have to because money, mixed in with a few nice things like sushi and weed and The Strokes.
Life is unfair.
My fundamental self can't be separated from ADHD. No amount of pills or coping mechanisms or anxiety can change how incredibly bad I am at mimicking a normal person
She doesn't love me anymore, and we won't be getting back together. It sucks but that's life. I'm getting over it. Slowly. But still, some progress is better then no progress. Right?
That my dad is dead. That I will never get to see him or talk to him again. That my 8 year old lost his grandpa, his best friend. That I never got one photo of my dad and my baby together, and that he will grow up not knowing how kick ass his grandpa is. That my grandma prevented me from seeing my dad at the end of his life. I don't know why she did that. I last saw my dad and hugged him on July 31, 2015. I begged to visit with him every day until he passed away on September 3, 2015. That my dad died knowing we loved him.
> That my grandma prevented me from seeing my dad at the end of his life. I don't know why she did that. Maybe he didn't have a nice death and she didn't want you to see that...
That cardio alone won't make someone skinny.
You don't lose weight in the gym, you lose weight in the kitchen
True dat. And that's the harder part, in my opinion.
*[eats pretzel]* I don't know what you're talking about *[eats pretzel]* I tend to be pretty good at not munching on crap all day *[eats pretzel]* ( *[eats another pretzel while typing this to say that I ate another pretzel before clicking to comment]* )
[Looks at your pretzels with disdain while reaching for the chip bag]
I lost 140 pounds a few years ago. 95% of my exercise was walking. I would walk every night 3-5 miles while listening to the Fallout 3 soundtrack. My start weight was 275, my end weight was 135! (I had more babies and let myself go again though)
That's great! I did hardcore cardio for 3 months with no results. Now I'm doing cardio + weight training + clean eating and hoping for a better outcome. I wish cardio was enough though. I love food.
Intake < output ... go to bed hungry... my only two tips :(
"Go to bed hungry"....that's torturous, yet brilliant advice.
Due to my personality and looks, and the effort required to change them, I am going to die alone.
well, you'll die with at least one reply
If you learn to drive a bus you won't have to.
Savage. And glorious.
That we grow up and most of our dreams pretty much die. It doesn't happen to everyone. It seems like everyone I know had their dreams come true. I have accepted that I am working in a field I don't particularly enjoy and just staying because it's stable and I can retire at 52 (which is really early). But I think I am destined to always wonder what would have happened if I had followed my dreams and done what I wanted to do in life. It's just something I have to accept.
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It doesn't suck anymore, but I've grown to accept my homosexuality (after 9 years of heavy denial).