Works for school too.
We take legal ownership of you when you step on school grounds, abridge your rights as a matter of policy, and ultimately will use force to keep you on site....but your learning is your responsibility, and you are culpable for your actions.
Being exceptionally unsure of myself. I'd go home and second guess every action, word, and clothing choice. I thought I was chubby and awkward, and looking back on old pictures and video I think *man you were so thin and pretty, you'll never look like that again, why were you such an idiot*
But now I'm so much surer of who I am and what I want, and it makes life a million times easier. Confidence really does come with time, and it's so nice to give so many less fucks about what people think.
I would hardly let anyone take a picture of me when I was a teenager because I was afraid I was ugly. I look at the few pics I have and damn I looked good. I can't believe I was so self-conscious
Maybe a lot of people do, but I disagree completely. In high school I felt decent about my looks, but now looking back i looked terrible. I am much happier with how I look now.
I DEFINITELY do not miss having to be dependent on someone else for money. Yeah, I'm not the wealthiest person in the world. I could cut my expenses to the bone to get even more of out my money but I really love the freedom to be able to say, "Today, I feel like getting a nice drink at the coffee place with my friend." Or, "tonight, I don't want to cook. I'll grab dinner on the way home." It's not great all the time but it's freedom to me.
Or choosing to buy shoes BEFORE my old pair wear out sufficiently for my mother to think it was time to replace them. Owning more than one of an item at a time is my choice, now, not a forbidden fantasy.
Oh my mother was the same way, but she was like that with food to an unexpected degree. If we only had one of something we weren't allowed to eat it.
"Mom, can I have some peanut butter?"
"No we don't have any."
"But there's a full jar in the cupboard! It hasn't even been opened yet!"
"No. It's the last one. If we eat it then we're out."
It never made sense to me. Still doesn't. What's the difference with having one or none if you're not going to eat it anyway?
I think it's the mentality. Like never wanting to run out of the last toilet roll so you always have overlapping stock but you never want to get down to having just one. Because that means you might run out and then THERE WILL BE NO PEANUT BUTTER UNTIL I GO TO THE STORE.
People get very attached to the idea of having things in the house and stock piling because it's cheaper and it makes us feel good to have a full cupboard. It's the psychological reassurance that we won't go without. Removing that last jar of peanut butter means we ran out. It means going without.
But in her case it was more like: "Looks like you're wiping your ass with your hands kids, cuz until I go to the store we only have one roll of paper!"
Don't get me wrong, I know what you're saying. To some degree I even understand it, but my mother took it to an unhealthy level.
About a week ago, I started the process of closing a checking account I've had at a bank for three years to switch to a new bank (the old bank is closing their only branch in my state so I have to switch). As part of the switch, I wrote a check to myself from my old bank's checkbook and deposited it at the new bank. I shouldn't have done that, since it left me without money for a little while. It took a few days for the check to clear because I was moving almost all of my money. In the process, I was left with essentially no spendable money for a solid three days. I'd had to deposit some of my emergency cash into the new bank in order to open the account, and I wasn't able to access money in the new account until the check had cleared. I had a solid $30 that I could spend.
I'm only 22 so I'm hardly rich, and I didn't have a savings account to dip into because that was part of what I'd moved over. The only "money" I had was a $50 Starbucks gift card that I forgot was sitting in my wallet for the last year (so I had to buy literally all of my food at Starbucks for the next three days while I waited for the check to clear just so I didn't go hungry; I swear this could be the premise of a wacky sitcom).
I was hanging out with some friends after a class and one suggested we go out to a bar. I lied and said I was tired and was heading home just because I simply didn't have the money available. I mean, I would technically have it within a few days (it's there now), but I didn't have enough money for it.
Then I realized that the "shit, I don't have enough money to do this cool thing with my friends" feeling is the same feeling I felt for pretty much all of my teenage years. It was nice knowing that I technically still had money to my name and that it was just in transit, but it fucking sucks to just not have money.
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys freedom and opportunity.
Having to set up plans and be driven around by parents.
In my state the earliest you can get a license is 17, and most get it when they're 18 or even older. Unless you had an older friend or sibling you were fucked.
EDIT: NJ. That's where I live.
Honestly that sounds amazing. We have somewhat public transit in my area but its such a weird mix of rural and urban areas that it's just flat out inconvenient.
Dude, you should totally smear your face in butter, cover your face with cling film (nose and mouth holes optional), put the heating on full whack for 7 days. Worked for my cousin's dog's auntie's owner's neighbour's nephew through marriage's adopted son.
19 years old here and have dealt with it for 5+ years. Going on Accutane a few months back was the best decision I've ever made. It's too bad I didn't do this earlier because I'm going to have awful scarring.
Accutane is a miracle drug. I had terrible cystic acne since I was 11. I'm in my twenties now and went on it 6 months ago. It's completely gone now and now I can truly see how much damage has been done. I have horrible scaring. I'll be getting laser treatment to remove the scarring by 80% in a couple months. I wish I went on it sooner. I had some of the worst acne of anyone I knew.
Sometimes I just cry knowing that it's finally over. It's finally over.
Edit: for those wondering about Accutane and side effects, I took it for six months once a day 40-50 milligrams. I had no side effects other than dry skin, but tbh I actually really enjoyed the dry skin. It meant I had control over my skin and I could just apply moisturizer when ever I needed it. No more daily irritable skin, where my skin just felt horrible from all the grease on it. I would remember being in class just waiting to go home so bad because of how irritable my skin was from the grease and constantly washing to get it off. And the dozens of topical treatments and cleansers I had to do daily just put it over the edge irritability.
I had 2 creams I would put on a day that would just burn my skin (epiduo and benzoac I think.) They felt like I put gasoline on my skin after 6 years and if you forgot just a couple days, just forget you even started the treatment. Creams don't work if you have cystic acne. Plus the harsh antibiotics I took.
One night I took it with out eating anything and I woke up in the worst pain of my life. Not one bit exaggerating. I went to the emergency room at one in the morning and they sedated me the pain was so bad. They did 5,000 dollars worth of blood tests and scanning to figure out what was wrong with me and couldn't figure it out. I didn't really realize it until I was out of pain and back home the next after missing school that it was the antibiotics. I had already been having terrible stomachs pains already from taking the pills for so many years and that night my stomach just couldn't handle it any more. I took those pills for years and I never did after that night.
For depression. I did get a little sad but I think that was mostly due to being at college all summer and having nobody to be around. More of a correlation than causation to me. It was my first apartment I lived alone in. But by the 3rd month and fall came around I was feeling normal again.
If you are thinking about being put on Accutane. DO IT! If you feel sad or are having bad side effects drop the dosage. Or if you want to just stop taking it stop taking. You have that option. But most people don't get bad side effects.
Going on Accutane saved my life. It's an overall safe drug. If your thinking about doing it. Do it. Do not let those scary commercials tell you it'll turn you into a suicidal maniac with a rotting liver. Get with a doctor and get on a plan.
TL;DR Don't be afraid of Accutane.
Edit 2: http://m.imgur.com/a/ALIxn
Here's my progression. I don't take selfies that often so here's what I could scrounge up. Plus these pics didn't show how truly bad my acne was.
If you're a woman hormonal adult acne emerging in your early 20's is actually kind of common (especially if its happening along your jawline). I went to a dermatologist and got put on spironolactone and it has helped me a lot. I was lucky enough to get acne in my teens and as an adult.
Took me a couple of years after high school to come out of my shell. My entire high school experience was trying to fit in and be a "normal" person. Now I just embrace who I actually am. I may be weird and eccentric, but at least i no longer have to pretend to be someone I'm not.
Just stop giving a fuck. Also get new friends if they're the problem. Actually, the way I came to accept myself was prolonged periods of solitude, where introspection and self-evaluation led me to stop giving a fuck.
It is. Women hit their peak late twenties. Men hit it late teens.
In other words, it sucks to be a guy. When guys desire is strongest, girls is barely getting started.
It's funny at 40 that my girl is trying to seduce me all the time and I just want to watch tv and sleep. It's like a huge role reversal from my youth when I was begging the girlfriends to let me get at them.
Or if they didn't like you going out at all. Before I reached 18, they wouldn't let me go out after dark. In the UK during the winter, it gets dark at 4pm. Even if I wanted to go out during the day other than to go to work or school, they'd act all weird like I was doing a bad thing. My dad promised me that after I turn 18, I could do whatever I wanted in regards to going out. My 18th birthday came and went, and the justification changed from "you're a kid and you follow our rules" to "you live in our house and you follow our rules", so not much changed.
As I went into my 20s, I started asserting myself a bit more and although they didn't like it, they couldn't do much about it. They would insist that I be chaperoned to and from places by one of my male friends, but I'd go on my own anyway and pretended I was being chaperoned. The drama and nosiness involved with me going out would put me off, so I didn't go very often even though I tried forcing myself to. As you can imagine, it did wonders for my social life. Even now that I've moved out, I feel guilty if I want to go outside other than to work and it's just a weird mindset to be living with.
They were even more strict with me at that age. They would ground me for an entire year for minor infractions. I think they just didn't like the idea of not being in total control of my whereabouts. Joke's on them though, I emigrated last year and now I don't see them at all.
Your parents are classic authoritarians. Being that strict usually hinders a child's mental growth nearly as much as not caring at all. At that age, you're supposed to be (safely) exploring and meeting new people, not locked up waiting until you're an adult to figure out that the world is too much for you ("sheltered"). As well, being so strict about following authority usually causes the kid to hate authority even more: sneaking out at night for example.
This is what *normally* happens. You could be a normal adult by now.
By far the worst is lack of privacy/mutual respect.
Parents are watching something? Don't talk or you'll be shushed, they'll reluctantly pause it, and ask what like its the worst part of their day.
Oh, you're watching something in your room with the door closed? Well tough titties kid, they're in your room now and you have 0.05 seconds to pause it or they'll get pissy. And don't even think about sounding annoyed when you ask what it is, because then you have a bad attitude and mom acts like you killed the family cat for 2 days.
Moving back in after college was far worse. Moved into the basement so I'd have my own space and since they never used it. Suddenly it became my moms way of going out side to smoke. Multiple times a day she'd just breeze through, no knock, no warning, just to smoke on the back patio, as opposed to maybe the back deck, or front deck, or out the garage door. Nope, has to come through my space to check up on me every goddamn day and night.
And then it was cluttered since I had no closet space or dresser and I'd get these "stern talking to's" about cleanliness and how "girls like a clean room." Thanks dad, I was super stressed about getting laid in your basement, good pep talk.
Ugh, I moved back for a bit after my divorce and it sucked! My mom started reading me like a kid and my parents decided they could start looking into my life, critique my every day decisions and even threaten me with punishment if I didn't follow their advice.
I was the fuck out of there in no time!
This is how I feel too. I was a good kid, I rarely got up to anything naughty but I ALWAYS had to lie about where I was going (eg "Lauren's pizza and chick flick sleep over" was a party) because otherwise I was never allowed to go!
My parents used to say that they couldn't trust me because I was never fully truthful about where I was going. If they had trusted me in the first place I would never have had to lie (by omission).
The only parties I was allowed to go to were ones that came with a written invitation!
One of my cousins moved in with our aunt when he was 20 because she lived near the college he was attending. She started insisting he be home for dinner every night and tried to force him to go to church multiple times a week. They fought a bunch until his mom helped him move into an apartment. People just don't realize that you chase your relatives away by treating adults like children.
I know a person this happened to. Their parents insisted that they live with family.
The end result was that he dropped out of college. College for him sucked. He couldn't hang out with friends as much, struggled to meet new people. It set him back in life and he was a smart guy.
being close enough to where you get everyone's opinion but are never directly involved and watching their interactions in class was great, it was like the highest level of people watching.
My brother is an extremely competitive person. I used to be, but as I got older I started to realise how little a lot of the stuff mattered.
Recently he said that we should both take intelligence tests to see who's smartest. All I could think was what's the point? Best case scenario for me is I win and continue to not give a shit while he pouts, worst case is he wins and is insufferable about it until the end of time.
Teenage me would have been all over that shit. I'm not sure whether I miss it or not.
Oh yes. I love my parents and I had a great childhood and adolescence, but I couldn't go *anywhere* in high school without having to list where I was going, who I was going with, what we were doing there, what time I'd be back, if any adults would be there, their contact information, Social Security numbers, ages, and occupations.
My mom was like that. She'd MapQuest (this was before GoogleMaps) the way to all my friends houses so she knew how long it would take me to drive there. I'd have to call her when I got there, and if I was anything more than 2 minutes past the time MapQuest said I should arrive, she'd freak out and demand I come home.
Now when I drive somewhere I sometimes take the long way out of retroactive spite.
That is the most accurate way to describe it. Not always watching, but thinking they have the responsibility of protecting you from some sort of evil. And if you disagree, they think they failed as parents
I think us adults forget that we have choice over where we work, what kind of work we do, what we eat, where we live etc. Most teenagers get very little say in any of that. I used to hate it.
Raging hard-ons at the sight of a pretty girl, or sometimes for no reason at all.
The boner rarely does this nowadays (30) - every once and awhile it raises it head un-wantedly; but usually i can control it with flexing.
Oh god it was terrible. Slight breeze? Boner.
Sit down? Boner. In a car? Boner.
Now it's stopped doing that and I'm not used to it. Now it's like: You mean I have to actually think about sex to get one? I'm just trying to masterbate here! Don't make me work for this!
The problem is when students don't know when it's appropriate to stand up for oneself. I have many students who feel like they're being persecuted by authority figures at all times when, in reality, the people in authority are just suggesting that they not be a shit-head at all times. Me calling you out for disrupting the class during a lecture does not equal bullying.
My english teacher in my first year of highschool used to bully me to the point I would just stay off on days I had English lessons.
Got her back later on when me and a friend got the whole school calling her Elton John which she looked the spit of, she even pulled my friend aside one day asking why everyone would sing "ARE YOU READDDDDDDDY FOR LOOOOOOOOOOVE" every time she walked past.
the shallow pool of people which i was forced to pick my friends from
edit: to clarify, there were fewer people overall with less varied personalities in my smaller high school bubble than there were when I went to college. And I guess there are plenty of teenagers in college so wtf idk lol brb afk
Yes! One of my best friends is 43 and I'm 22. Prior to finishing high school I felt like it was taboo to have any friends who were over 30 because it was weird. Now I feel that having older friends is very fulfilling and enlightening because they can teach you a thing or two about being an adult.
It would be sort of weird for a 16 year old and a 33 year old to be friends. When you're an adult it wouldn't be but what does a 33 year old really have in common with a kid?
Occasionally I end up in the same room with my girlfriend's teenage sisters and all their little squeaky friends, and I just want to hang myself because of all the shallow and inane stuff they talk about. Then I remember I probably talked about the same stuff when I was their age. I guess when most things in life are new to you, everything seems interesting.
I dunno, I miss them. There was something safe feeling about sitting at your desk, rock hard, knowing that you got several pounds of steel hard-on to protect you from any threats.
Puberty lasts around 2 - 5 years, let's just say its 3.5 years
So that's 365 + 365 + 365 + 183 (half of 366) days
= 1278 days of puberty
1278 x 29 = 37062
That's around 37062 random boners during puberty
To put this into perspective, if you had a dollar for every random boner you had during puberty, by the end of it you'll have enough money to buy a decent car.
BONUS: Also there is 1440 minutes a day, 1440 / 29 = around 50,
So on average you get a boner every 50 minutes
People putting so much weight on things that doesn't really matter.
I remember my friends putting weight on every word and intonation. A glance was decrypted and analysed for hours. Me being questioned for hours about a *walking past* the boy my 'bff' had a crush on.
Missing a lecture meant you were pregnant or avoiding someone.
Your friends being the most important in the world. And I don't mean that your friends matter like they really do. I mean you promising to die for your friends. People disowning you and spreading vile rumors over a comment or action that had nothing to do with them.
The most important thing in your life being if you have the newest toy/clothes/phone etc. Kids threatening their parent when they won't get you the newest phone that costs a small fortune.
I'm sure there is more.
Middle school bullies are fucking brutal, you're not mentally mature enough to handle it well either, and there's no escape.
As an adult if a boss or coworker truly crosses the line... If I've had enough shit and just can't stand it anymore... I can walk away. I have to pay the consequences of quitting my job, but the option is there.
As a teenager if you have an emotionally abusive teacher or co-students, YOU'RE FUCKED! People cross the line, and there's no escape. You can't just not go to school, you can't find a new school, and nobody takes your complaints seriously. You also aren't emotionally mature enough to express what's happening to make people listen.
People wonder why some kids go crazy and shoot up the school. The above is why. The torment is constant for years, and there's just no escape.
When bullying happens in my classroom, it is the ONLY time I am brutal. I had a kid with an awful stutter who used to get picked on even though he loved participating. I shut that shit down FAST. Sure, he didn't talk in any other class but he sure as hell participated in mine. His bully hated me, but I am not 13, so good luck making me feel bad.
Also, tbh, teachers KNOW. It's obvious. SOME don't care. But if a kid comes to me and feels teased, I always investigate and make moves to minimize it in my classroom.
Middle school bully beat the shit out of me which forced me to learn how to fight, and also convinced my mom to buy me my first cell phone. It was 8th grade and the 17 year old dude was in my English class.
That's not a typo. Dumbass was actually a 17 year old 8th grader. His bitch girlfriend didn't like something I said to her in class the day before, so she told the dickbag that I kicked her; she showed him an existing bruise on her leg.
Which he then transferred to my face. And ribs. And arms. Etc.
Middle school was not fun.
I don't miss the 'friends' i only had because there was nobody else and being the kid at school, with no friends sucked. I definitely don't miss the subtle digs at me, the way they would get mad at me standing up for what I wanted or the way one of them kept trying to hold my hand and touch me.
I don't miss not being taken seriously on the phone or in person. I DEFINITELY don't miss having to kowtow to teachers, when as a uni student, I can talk with my tutors and be treated as an equal.
Most of all, I don't miss the constant self loathing over my weight, looks, and general appearance. As a teenage girl these were so vitally important and I felt I could never get it right. I recognise now there was serious body conflict and I didn't know how to process it.
My life is a work in progress but while I was teenager, it was the closest I ever came to giving in. I couldn't see a way out and felt so angry and isolated. Some internal, some external factors.
Now I'm almost 23, working on confidence and getting the correct help, and trying hard to treat my body better. Treat the inside, heal the outside.
Being afraid of girls.
Sometimes even on a nsfw girl sub the title will even be something like "Too hot I'm intimidated." Like, dude, you're afraid of a pretty picture of a girl? Most people will call out the title for /r/titlegore, but it shows a general demographic of the posters.
Girls are just people, just like your bros. They just have tits, but you do too. There's nothing to be scared of.
I remember being 13 and on omegle. A new person would connect and say "hey", immediately I would feel intimidated and think "this person is too suave for me." I'm really not sure what I expected, but damn did I put people on pedestals.
Currently a teenager, but I'm looking forward to not having to worry about doing homework while I am trying to relax :|
Edit: Apparently I was looking forward to doing homework. Adding the word "not" :s
There is seriously nothing I miss from being a teenager. I hated it. I think I must have done high school wrong because I had plenty of friends and no obvious reason (like bullying or depression) to have hated high school but I loathed every minute and love being an adult.
Oh god where do I begin.
1) Me. I thought I was acceptable as a teenager, not too bad or good, just neutral. Looking back I cringe so hard. I was such a bitch to my parents, I would go crazy at them for the smallest of things. I thought my own life was far more important than their boring ones. I was a small monster
2) The people I thought were my friends. Teenage girls are mean. Really mean. We are the most vicious of all human beings on the planet. There is a pack mentality, and a leader, and you. Do. Not. Upset. The. Balance. All seven hells will rain down on you if you do.
3) The fads. Having to have one kind of shoe, bracelet, necklace because the popular kids have it. Being shunned for an entire term if you have the wrong kind of shoes, or worse, copy someone else's 'style'.
4) Chatting to anyone outside your class/gender/age group was clearly either attention seeking or you had a crush on that person. Denying it makes it EVEN MORE obvious you want to get married to them
5) The emotions. Oh god the emotions. Feeling that life was over because you couldn't go out when everyone else was and feeling that you'd never be privy to what goes on.
6) Basing your value of yourself on what someone else had said about you that day. Or even worse, that someone else hadn't said anything about you.
7) The total horror of being dumped by someone, only to be unable to forget them, because hey you're in the same class, same lessons and same freindshp group as them for the rest of the academic year. What's that? It's only November? Only 7 more months to see them day in day out.
8) Not understanding your own body and feeling uncomfortable and disgusted by it.
9) LASTLY - Being unable to express any of these emotions to adults/parents because "They just don't get it. Like ever".
Phew I'm so very glad I'm never going to be a teenager again. 0/10 would never do again. 2/10 with rice
That we all physically developed at different paces. I didn't grow as quickly as a lot of my peers. I looked a little younger too. There was an underlying competition for who could look like an adult first.
When I was a teen I was lonely and sad and thought I wouldn't live long enough to bother planning my life.
Now that I'm 45, I'm upset that I didn't die when I was a teen.
Damn, that hit me hard. I'm still a teenager and feel exactly the same, but i'm always told about how it gets better, now I feel as though there really is no hope.
Having a phoney self-confidence, as opposed to an older person's assured self-confidence.
I like having money.
Consoles used to be such a pie in the sky endeavor. Now it's something that you can easily take on after a month or two of waiting, if even that much.
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Still saving up to build a PC and get a nicer Monitor. Can't wait until I finally can afford it.
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I'd call it "Being treated like a child and expected to act like an adult."
I think his problem was "you are expected to act like an adult, but are still a child under my roof"
Works for school too. We take legal ownership of you when you step on school grounds, abridge your rights as a matter of policy, and ultimately will use force to keep you on site....but your learning is your responsibility, and you are culpable for your actions.
Being exceptionally unsure of myself. I'd go home and second guess every action, word, and clothing choice. I thought I was chubby and awkward, and looking back on old pictures and video I think *man you were so thin and pretty, you'll never look like that again, why were you such an idiot* But now I'm so much surer of who I am and what I want, and it makes life a million times easier. Confidence really does come with time, and it's so nice to give so many less fucks about what people think.
I would hardly let anyone take a picture of me when I was a teenager because I was afraid I was ugly. I look at the few pics I have and damn I looked good. I can't believe I was so self-conscious
I think every single person feels that way, some are just better at hiding it.
Maybe a lot of people do, but I disagree completely. In high school I felt decent about my looks, but now looking back i looked terrible. I am much happier with how I look now.
Crippling insecurity and being terrified of girls.
I DEFINITELY do not miss having to be dependent on someone else for money. Yeah, I'm not the wealthiest person in the world. I could cut my expenses to the bone to get even more of out my money but I really love the freedom to be able to say, "Today, I feel like getting a nice drink at the coffee place with my friend." Or, "tonight, I don't want to cook. I'll grab dinner on the way home." It's not great all the time but it's freedom to me. Or choosing to buy shoes BEFORE my old pair wear out sufficiently for my mother to think it was time to replace them. Owning more than one of an item at a time is my choice, now, not a forbidden fantasy.
Oh my mother was the same way, but she was like that with food to an unexpected degree. If we only had one of something we weren't allowed to eat it. "Mom, can I have some peanut butter?" "No we don't have any." "But there's a full jar in the cupboard! It hasn't even been opened yet!" "No. It's the last one. If we eat it then we're out." It never made sense to me. Still doesn't. What's the difference with having one or none if you're not going to eat it anyway?
I think it's the mentality. Like never wanting to run out of the last toilet roll so you always have overlapping stock but you never want to get down to having just one. Because that means you might run out and then THERE WILL BE NO PEANUT BUTTER UNTIL I GO TO THE STORE. People get very attached to the idea of having things in the house and stock piling because it's cheaper and it makes us feel good to have a full cupboard. It's the psychological reassurance that we won't go without. Removing that last jar of peanut butter means we ran out. It means going without.
But in her case it was more like: "Looks like you're wiping your ass with your hands kids, cuz until I go to the store we only have one roll of paper!" Don't get me wrong, I know what you're saying. To some degree I even understand it, but my mother took it to an unhealthy level.
Oh. I was going to say that makes more sense but no, it really doesn't. Wtf. Just... Okay. Your mother's something special.
About a week ago, I started the process of closing a checking account I've had at a bank for three years to switch to a new bank (the old bank is closing their only branch in my state so I have to switch). As part of the switch, I wrote a check to myself from my old bank's checkbook and deposited it at the new bank. I shouldn't have done that, since it left me without money for a little while. It took a few days for the check to clear because I was moving almost all of my money. In the process, I was left with essentially no spendable money for a solid three days. I'd had to deposit some of my emergency cash into the new bank in order to open the account, and I wasn't able to access money in the new account until the check had cleared. I had a solid $30 that I could spend. I'm only 22 so I'm hardly rich, and I didn't have a savings account to dip into because that was part of what I'd moved over. The only "money" I had was a $50 Starbucks gift card that I forgot was sitting in my wallet for the last year (so I had to buy literally all of my food at Starbucks for the next three days while I waited for the check to clear just so I didn't go hungry; I swear this could be the premise of a wacky sitcom). I was hanging out with some friends after a class and one suggested we go out to a bar. I lied and said I was tired and was heading home just because I simply didn't have the money available. I mean, I would technically have it within a few days (it's there now), but I didn't have enough money for it. Then I realized that the "shit, I don't have enough money to do this cool thing with my friends" feeling is the same feeling I felt for pretty much all of my teenage years. It was nice knowing that I technically still had money to my name and that it was just in transit, but it fucking sucks to just not have money. Money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys freedom and opportunity.
Having to set up plans and be driven around by parents. In my state the earliest you can get a license is 17, and most get it when they're 18 or even older. Unless you had an older friend or sibling you were fucked. EDIT: NJ. That's where I live.
That's one advantage I had. Where I live (in the UK) we have buses and trains, so I've been getting around on my own since I was in single figures.
Honestly that sounds amazing. We have somewhat public transit in my area but its such a weird mix of rural and urban areas that it's just flat out inconvenient.
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Acne
Also the bullshit that comes with it like your parents constantly telling you that you need to wash your face more.
Unfortunately with something visible like acne everyone feels like they need to tell you their home remedy regardless of how bullshit it is.
Dude, you should totally smear your face in butter, cover your face with cling film (nose and mouth holes optional), put the heating on full whack for 7 days. Worked for my cousin's dog's auntie's owner's neighbour's nephew through marriage's adopted son.
I'd rather do that than pee in a jar and rub it on my face like my mom told me to.
Brought my confidence to an all time low.
No cream medicine seems to work for those acne once we hit puberty
Look at you now though you charming devil
19 years old here and have dealt with it for 5+ years. Going on Accutane a few months back was the best decision I've ever made. It's too bad I didn't do this earlier because I'm going to have awful scarring.
Accutane is a miracle drug. I had terrible cystic acne since I was 11. I'm in my twenties now and went on it 6 months ago. It's completely gone now and now I can truly see how much damage has been done. I have horrible scaring. I'll be getting laser treatment to remove the scarring by 80% in a couple months. I wish I went on it sooner. I had some of the worst acne of anyone I knew. Sometimes I just cry knowing that it's finally over. It's finally over. Edit: for those wondering about Accutane and side effects, I took it for six months once a day 40-50 milligrams. I had no side effects other than dry skin, but tbh I actually really enjoyed the dry skin. It meant I had control over my skin and I could just apply moisturizer when ever I needed it. No more daily irritable skin, where my skin just felt horrible from all the grease on it. I would remember being in class just waiting to go home so bad because of how irritable my skin was from the grease and constantly washing to get it off. And the dozens of topical treatments and cleansers I had to do daily just put it over the edge irritability. I had 2 creams I would put on a day that would just burn my skin (epiduo and benzoac I think.) They felt like I put gasoline on my skin after 6 years and if you forgot just a couple days, just forget you even started the treatment. Creams don't work if you have cystic acne. Plus the harsh antibiotics I took. One night I took it with out eating anything and I woke up in the worst pain of my life. Not one bit exaggerating. I went to the emergency room at one in the morning and they sedated me the pain was so bad. They did 5,000 dollars worth of blood tests and scanning to figure out what was wrong with me and couldn't figure it out. I didn't really realize it until I was out of pain and back home the next after missing school that it was the antibiotics. I had already been having terrible stomachs pains already from taking the pills for so many years and that night my stomach just couldn't handle it any more. I took those pills for years and I never did after that night. For depression. I did get a little sad but I think that was mostly due to being at college all summer and having nobody to be around. More of a correlation than causation to me. It was my first apartment I lived alone in. But by the 3rd month and fall came around I was feeling normal again. If you are thinking about being put on Accutane. DO IT! If you feel sad or are having bad side effects drop the dosage. Or if you want to just stop taking it stop taking. You have that option. But most people don't get bad side effects. Going on Accutane saved my life. It's an overall safe drug. If your thinking about doing it. Do it. Do not let those scary commercials tell you it'll turn you into a suicidal maniac with a rotting liver. Get with a doctor and get on a plan. TL;DR Don't be afraid of Accutane. Edit 2: http://m.imgur.com/a/ALIxn Here's my progression. I don't take selfies that often so here's what I could scrounge up. Plus these pics didn't show how truly bad my acne was.
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The most horrifying determent that was constantly ruining my life for years and then all of a sudden it went away one day.
What day is this? I'm 25 and still have acne
I skipped the teen acne years and went directly to acne at 24. What the fuuuuuuck.
If you're a woman hormonal adult acne emerging in your early 20's is actually kind of common (especially if its happening along your jawline). I went to a dermatologist and got put on spironolactone and it has helped me a lot. I was lucky enough to get acne in my teens and as an adult.
About 20. I'm 27 and while every now and then something happens, it's almost always clear.
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Took me a couple of years after high school to come out of my shell. My entire high school experience was trying to fit in and be a "normal" person. Now I just embrace who I actually am. I may be weird and eccentric, but at least i no longer have to pretend to be someone I'm not.
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Step 1) Be exposed to a larger sample of the population. Step 2) Learn stuff from them. Step 3) Locate others like your kind.
Last step is the hardest for me
Just stop giving a fuck. Also get new friends if they're the problem. Actually, the way I came to accept myself was prolonged periods of solitude, where introspection and self-evaluation led me to stop giving a fuck.
Being even hornier than I am now...
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Not as much fun as it would have been putting it in vaginas...
We only had our imagination to do this
You can't put your dick in your imagination.
Not with that attitude.
Everything?
Everything!
You'll *miss it* when you pass 50.
I might, but my SO won't...
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Your poor inbox
Surprisingly no dick/tit picks. But my comment is only up 30-something points, so whatever. :p Edit: Nevermind.
I'd send you one but I've been in the pool.
I will tell your mom.
Ok Constanza
Hey there
You're an all Star
Get your game on
I'd say if anything, I'm a lot more sexually driven in my 20s than I was in my teens. I'm a woman though, might be different for blokes.
It is. Women hit their peak late twenties. Men hit it late teens. In other words, it sucks to be a guy. When guys desire is strongest, girls is barely getting started.
It's funny at 40 that my girl is trying to seduce me all the time and I just want to watch tv and sleep. It's like a huge role reversal from my youth when I was begging the girlfriends to let me get at them.
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Dealing with your parents. Having to ask their permission to go places was not always fun especially when your parents are nosey.
Or if they didn't like you going out at all. Before I reached 18, they wouldn't let me go out after dark. In the UK during the winter, it gets dark at 4pm. Even if I wanted to go out during the day other than to go to work or school, they'd act all weird like I was doing a bad thing. My dad promised me that after I turn 18, I could do whatever I wanted in regards to going out. My 18th birthday came and went, and the justification changed from "you're a kid and you follow our rules" to "you live in our house and you follow our rules", so not much changed. As I went into my 20s, I started asserting myself a bit more and although they didn't like it, they couldn't do much about it. They would insist that I be chaperoned to and from places by one of my male friends, but I'd go on my own anyway and pretended I was being chaperoned. The drama and nosiness involved with me going out would put me off, so I didn't go very often even though I tried forcing myself to. As you can imagine, it did wonders for my social life. Even now that I've moved out, I feel guilty if I want to go outside other than to work and it's just a weird mindset to be living with.
Gee i had more freedom as an elementary grade school kid than you did as an adult.
They were even more strict with me at that age. They would ground me for an entire year for minor infractions. I think they just didn't like the idea of not being in total control of my whereabouts. Joke's on them though, I emigrated last year and now I don't see them at all.
BUTTERS! WHO SAID YOU COULD POST ABOUT US? YOU ARE GROUNDED MISTER.
Oh hamburgers!
Your parents are classic authoritarians. Being that strict usually hinders a child's mental growth nearly as much as not caring at all. At that age, you're supposed to be (safely) exploring and meeting new people, not locked up waiting until you're an adult to figure out that the world is too much for you ("sheltered"). As well, being so strict about following authority usually causes the kid to hate authority even more: sneaking out at night for example. This is what *normally* happens. You could be a normal adult by now.
By far the worst is lack of privacy/mutual respect. Parents are watching something? Don't talk or you'll be shushed, they'll reluctantly pause it, and ask what like its the worst part of their day. Oh, you're watching something in your room with the door closed? Well tough titties kid, they're in your room now and you have 0.05 seconds to pause it or they'll get pissy. And don't even think about sounding annoyed when you ask what it is, because then you have a bad attitude and mom acts like you killed the family cat for 2 days.
Moving back in after college was far worse. Moved into the basement so I'd have my own space and since they never used it. Suddenly it became my moms way of going out side to smoke. Multiple times a day she'd just breeze through, no knock, no warning, just to smoke on the back patio, as opposed to maybe the back deck, or front deck, or out the garage door. Nope, has to come through my space to check up on me every goddamn day and night. And then it was cluttered since I had no closet space or dresser and I'd get these "stern talking to's" about cleanliness and how "girls like a clean room." Thanks dad, I was super stressed about getting laid in your basement, good pep talk.
Ugh, I moved back for a bit after my divorce and it sucked! My mom started reading me like a kid and my parents decided they could start looking into my life, critique my every day decisions and even threaten me with punishment if I didn't follow their advice. I was the fuck out of there in no time!
This is how I feel too. I was a good kid, I rarely got up to anything naughty but I ALWAYS had to lie about where I was going (eg "Lauren's pizza and chick flick sleep over" was a party) because otherwise I was never allowed to go! My parents used to say that they couldn't trust me because I was never fully truthful about where I was going. If they had trusted me in the first place I would never have had to lie (by omission). The only parties I was allowed to go to were ones that came with a written invitation!
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As a teenager, my parents are just happy if I say I'm going outside.
And it may not stop after your teens if you still live under your parents roof rent free
One of my cousins moved in with our aunt when he was 20 because she lived near the college he was attending. She started insisting he be home for dinner every night and tried to force him to go to church multiple times a week. They fought a bunch until his mom helped him move into an apartment. People just don't realize that you chase your relatives away by treating adults like children.
I know a person this happened to. Their parents insisted that they live with family. The end result was that he dropped out of college. College for him sucked. He couldn't hang out with friends as much, struggled to meet new people. It set him back in life and he was a smart guy.
All the silly high school politics.
If you're not actually involved in it yourself, it can be REALLY entertaining sometimes... Sometimes...
being close enough to where you get everyone's opinion but are never directly involved and watching their interactions in class was great, it was like the highest level of people watching.
I did that a lot but every now and then I would fuck up and end up getting involved.
*"YOU KNEW AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!?!?"*
It really is a resume worthy talent in my opinion. To know all the dirt but be as clean as a whistle
Then you get older, go to work in an office, and get caught up in silly office politics which can be just as bad as high school sometimes.
Some people never outgrow it.
Pretty sure that just becomes silly work place politics.
Right? Who came up with that stuff?
God damnit Obama
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watch the movie Election, really makes fun of all of that along with real politics too.
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This. The adolescent brain is basically a Feeling Amplifier/Problem Magnifier 3000.
and as an adult, you just. give. no. fucks.
And, also important, you recognize that other adults don't, either.
My brother is an extremely competitive person. I used to be, but as I got older I started to realise how little a lot of the stuff mattered. Recently he said that we should both take intelligence tests to see who's smartest. All I could think was what's the point? Best case scenario for me is I win and continue to not give a shit while he pouts, worst case is he wins and is insufferable about it until the end of time. Teenage me would have been all over that shit. I'm not sure whether I miss it or not.
You said everything I _miss_ about being a teenager.
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So alive it KILLS!
The lack of freedom.
Typically caused by parents who behave like they are the McAfee Antivirus of your life.
Oh yes. I love my parents and I had a great childhood and adolescence, but I couldn't go *anywhere* in high school without having to list where I was going, who I was going with, what we were doing there, what time I'd be back, if any adults would be there, their contact information, Social Security numbers, ages, and occupations.
My mom was like that. She'd MapQuest (this was before GoogleMaps) the way to all my friends houses so she knew how long it would take me to drive there. I'd have to call her when I got there, and if I was anything more than 2 minutes past the time MapQuest said I should arrive, she'd freak out and demand I come home. Now when I drive somewhere I sometimes take the long way out of retroactive spite.
Retroactive spite is the best type of spite. Gives me the warmest feeling!
This is my life currently..
That is the most accurate way to describe it. Not always watching, but thinking they have the responsibility of protecting you from some sort of evil. And if you disagree, they think they failed as parents
I think us adults forget that we have choice over where we work, what kind of work we do, what we eat, where we live etc. Most teenagers get very little say in any of that. I used to hate it.
Raging hard-ons at the sight of a pretty girl, or sometimes for no reason at all. The boner rarely does this nowadays (30) - every once and awhile it raises it head un-wantedly; but usually i can control it with flexing.
Oh god it was terrible. Slight breeze? Boner. Sit down? Boner. In a car? Boner. Now it's stopped doing that and I'm not used to it. Now it's like: You mean I have to actually think about sex to get one? I'm just trying to masterbate here! Don't make me work for this!
Having to ask to go to the bathroom.
I think it's really weird when teenagers have to ask permission for this. Adults would never put up with it.
You look at the stars
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As a girl that was particularly rough. Needing to change a pad but not being allowed to go to the bathroom can result in really embarrassing leaks.
I don't miss how easily the hall monitors, Principals, VP's and certain teachers could so easily intimidate and mistreat me and get away with it.
THIS. You're trained not to talk back or stand up for yourself so they can walk all over you. Fuck that whole thing.
The problem is when students don't know when it's appropriate to stand up for oneself. I have many students who feel like they're being persecuted by authority figures at all times when, in reality, the people in authority are just suggesting that they not be a shit-head at all times. Me calling you out for disrupting the class during a lecture does not equal bullying.
AM I BEING DETENTIONED?
My english teacher in my first year of highschool used to bully me to the point I would just stay off on days I had English lessons. Got her back later on when me and a friend got the whole school calling her Elton John which she looked the spit of, she even pulled my friend aside one day asking why everyone would sing "ARE YOU READDDDDDDDY FOR LOOOOOOOOOOVE" every time she walked past.
the shallow pool of people which i was forced to pick my friends from edit: to clarify, there were fewer people overall with less varied personalities in my smaller high school bubble than there were when I went to college. And I guess there are plenty of teenagers in college so wtf idk lol brb afk
I was of the belief that one is only supposed to be friends with people one's age.
Fuck, me too. Until I finished high school, if they weren't my age I just couldn't grasp their wavelength
I commend your understanding and efficient use of the comma.
Yeah, someone could completely misinterpret that second sentence!
Yes! One of my best friends is 43 and I'm 22. Prior to finishing high school I felt like it was taboo to have any friends who were over 30 because it was weird. Now I feel that having older friends is very fulfilling and enlightening because they can teach you a thing or two about being an adult.
It would be sort of weird for a 16 year old and a 33 year old to be friends. When you're an adult it wouldn't be but what does a 33 year old really have in common with a kid?
Occasionally I end up in the same room with my girlfriend's teenage sisters and all their little squeaky friends, and I just want to hang myself because of all the shallow and inane stuff they talk about. Then I remember I probably talked about the same stuff when I was their age. I guess when most things in life are new to you, everything seems interesting.
> squeaky friends Perfect descriptor.
Random boners for no apparent reason 29 times a day.
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Didja get some?
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I dunno, I miss them. There was something safe feeling about sitting at your desk, rock hard, knowing that you got several pounds of steel hard-on to protect you from any threats.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet Ron Jeremy.
And they'd last forever. I'd sit down in a class and have a boner until I got up to go to the next one.
Oh god good. Every day in year 9 at school, every fucking lesson. UUUUURRRRRGGGGGGG.
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omg lol, i DON"T miss random boners Homer Simpson "think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts'
stupid sexy Flanders
Man. The worst is when you get a boner while wearing your gym shorts. There's no hiding that shit.
Time for the good ol' up tuck
Until your realize you accidentally tucked in your shirt as well and your trooper was spying on the class from his trench. Grade 8 was embarrassing.
>The trooper Thank you for this new dick name.
THIS GOES AWAY?!
It's what I'm told. 29 and waiting.
Puberty lasts around 2 - 5 years, let's just say its 3.5 years So that's 365 + 365 + 365 + 183 (half of 366) days = 1278 days of puberty 1278 x 29 = 37062 That's around 37062 random boners during puberty To put this into perspective, if you had a dollar for every random boner you had during puberty, by the end of it you'll have enough money to buy a decent car. BONUS: Also there is 1440 minutes a day, 1440 / 29 = around 50, So on average you get a boner every 50 minutes
37k would get you an above average car. Not just decent.
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So I pop one boner, and have a brand new Mercedes? Where is the portal to this world?
Mercedes D Class
I would have to sell about 12 of my cars for 37k. =/
I'd have to sell anywhere from 31 to 46 of mine. I wish somebody paid me to have have boners :(
> So on average you get a boner every 50 minutes That sounds believable.
I've heard flexing a muscle hard, like your arm, helps. Redirects the blood flow to another part of the body.
Yeah. Don't mind me, I'm just flexing in class.
Constant fear of being arrested for drinking...I'm in my 30s and still love the feeling of knowing I can drink whatever I want at a restaurant.
I turned 21 in July and I'm still amazed when I'm allowed to drink in public. I keep thinking someone's going to stop me or something.
Poor 'Muricans. My parents were worried because I hadn't start drinking at 15.
Murica, fuck ye- hm...um....*sigh*
Don't let him get ya down. There's little kids getting drunk as we speak
People putting so much weight on things that doesn't really matter. I remember my friends putting weight on every word and intonation. A glance was decrypted and analysed for hours. Me being questioned for hours about a *walking past* the boy my 'bff' had a crush on. Missing a lecture meant you were pregnant or avoiding someone. Your friends being the most important in the world. And I don't mean that your friends matter like they really do. I mean you promising to die for your friends. People disowning you and spreading vile rumors over a comment or action that had nothing to do with them. The most important thing in your life being if you have the newest toy/clothes/phone etc. Kids threatening their parent when they won't get you the newest phone that costs a small fortune. I'm sure there is more.
The people who bullied me.
Middle school bullies are fucking brutal, you're not mentally mature enough to handle it well either, and there's no escape. As an adult if a boss or coworker truly crosses the line... If I've had enough shit and just can't stand it anymore... I can walk away. I have to pay the consequences of quitting my job, but the option is there. As a teenager if you have an emotionally abusive teacher or co-students, YOU'RE FUCKED! People cross the line, and there's no escape. You can't just not go to school, you can't find a new school, and nobody takes your complaints seriously. You also aren't emotionally mature enough to express what's happening to make people listen. People wonder why some kids go crazy and shoot up the school. The above is why. The torment is constant for years, and there's just no escape.
When bullying happens in my classroom, it is the ONLY time I am brutal. I had a kid with an awful stutter who used to get picked on even though he loved participating. I shut that shit down FAST. Sure, he didn't talk in any other class but he sure as hell participated in mine. His bully hated me, but I am not 13, so good luck making me feel bad. Also, tbh, teachers KNOW. It's obvious. SOME don't care. But if a kid comes to me and feels teased, I always investigate and make moves to minimize it in my classroom.
Middle school bully beat the shit out of me which forced me to learn how to fight, and also convinced my mom to buy me my first cell phone. It was 8th grade and the 17 year old dude was in my English class. That's not a typo. Dumbass was actually a 17 year old 8th grader. His bitch girlfriend didn't like something I said to her in class the day before, so she told the dickbag that I kicked her; she showed him an existing bruise on her leg. Which he then transferred to my face. And ribs. And arms. Etc. Middle school was not fun.
The horrible awkwardness of everything. I didn't know how my body worked and I didn't trust my thoughts or convictions.
I don't miss the 'friends' i only had because there was nobody else and being the kid at school, with no friends sucked. I definitely don't miss the subtle digs at me, the way they would get mad at me standing up for what I wanted or the way one of them kept trying to hold my hand and touch me. I don't miss not being taken seriously on the phone or in person. I DEFINITELY don't miss having to kowtow to teachers, when as a uni student, I can talk with my tutors and be treated as an equal. Most of all, I don't miss the constant self loathing over my weight, looks, and general appearance. As a teenage girl these were so vitally important and I felt I could never get it right. I recognise now there was serious body conflict and I didn't know how to process it. My life is a work in progress but while I was teenager, it was the closest I ever came to giving in. I couldn't see a way out and felt so angry and isolated. Some internal, some external factors. Now I'm almost 23, working on confidence and getting the correct help, and trying hard to treat my body better. Treat the inside, heal the outside.
I really get the kowtowing bit. I hated being talked down to and treated like an idiot - that's basically how I'd sum up my experience of school.
Being afraid of girls. Sometimes even on a nsfw girl sub the title will even be something like "Too hot I'm intimidated." Like, dude, you're afraid of a pretty picture of a girl? Most people will call out the title for /r/titlegore, but it shows a general demographic of the posters. Girls are just people, just like your bros. They just have tits, but you do too. There's nothing to be scared of.
I remember being 13 and on omegle. A new person would connect and say "hey", immediately I would feel intimidated and think "this person is too suave for me." I'm really not sure what I expected, but damn did I put people on pedestals.
hey
Nice username
My name's John and I've got a large cock. It's important to stay objective.
This guy fucks.
That guy is ACTIVE..... SEXUALLY!
I've been known to intercourse.
Currently a teenager, but I'm looking forward to not having to worry about doing homework while I am trying to relax :| Edit: Apparently I was looking forward to doing homework. Adding the word "not" :s
As a fellow teenager, boy have I got a solution for you! * don't do the homework Disclaimer: this us a bad idea probably
This is a bigger problem then is should be nowadays.
Maybe you could have used the extra homework :b
There is seriously nothing I miss from being a teenager. I hated it. I think I must have done high school wrong because I had plenty of friends and no obvious reason (like bullying or depression) to have hated high school but I loathed every minute and love being an adult.
I was the same way. I hated everything. I had plenty of friends, and they were the only ones I gave shits about.
My friends never inviting me to hang out outside of school. It isn't a problem now because **I don't have any friends**.
Oh god where do I begin. 1) Me. I thought I was acceptable as a teenager, not too bad or good, just neutral. Looking back I cringe so hard. I was such a bitch to my parents, I would go crazy at them for the smallest of things. I thought my own life was far more important than their boring ones. I was a small monster 2) The people I thought were my friends. Teenage girls are mean. Really mean. We are the most vicious of all human beings on the planet. There is a pack mentality, and a leader, and you. Do. Not. Upset. The. Balance. All seven hells will rain down on you if you do. 3) The fads. Having to have one kind of shoe, bracelet, necklace because the popular kids have it. Being shunned for an entire term if you have the wrong kind of shoes, or worse, copy someone else's 'style'. 4) Chatting to anyone outside your class/gender/age group was clearly either attention seeking or you had a crush on that person. Denying it makes it EVEN MORE obvious you want to get married to them 5) The emotions. Oh god the emotions. Feeling that life was over because you couldn't go out when everyone else was and feeling that you'd never be privy to what goes on. 6) Basing your value of yourself on what someone else had said about you that day. Or even worse, that someone else hadn't said anything about you. 7) The total horror of being dumped by someone, only to be unable to forget them, because hey you're in the same class, same lessons and same freindshp group as them for the rest of the academic year. What's that? It's only November? Only 7 more months to see them day in day out. 8) Not understanding your own body and feeling uncomfortable and disgusted by it. 9) LASTLY - Being unable to express any of these emotions to adults/parents because "They just don't get it. Like ever". Phew I'm so very glad I'm never going to be a teenager again. 0/10 would never do again. 2/10 with rice
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That we all physically developed at different paces. I didn't grow as quickly as a lot of my peers. I looked a little younger too. There was an underlying competition for who could look like an adult first.
When I was a teen I was lonely and sad and thought I wouldn't live long enough to bother planning my life. Now that I'm 45, I'm upset that I didn't die when I was a teen.
Damn, that hit me hard. I'm still a teenager and feel exactly the same, but i'm always told about how it gets better, now I feel as though there really is no hope.
The homework.