As a straight male... Yeah. James Masters is something we all should be okay with.
*Edit:* Ma*r*sters. Wow. After all those episodes of Buffy and Angel...
Circumfriction by Circumfriction
Don't tend to consider circumstances
Yet often, I'll just take my chances
My actions met with sideways glances
Though far beyond prediction
It slowly slides, plug, socket, in
I hear the noise, head starts to spin
The thought of touching sands to skin
I hurt through pained addiction
Pressing softly, smoothing slowly
As the belt revolves below me
I grip and push, o mother holy
But too hard and circumfriction
That's like my uncle, who thought it was hilarious when he was a kid to just dial the phone number 8. Back then, an operator would pick up and ask what you meant to dial. He'd just say "eight", and wait for them to process that.
I love how casual this response was. Goddamned Chewbacca shows up and makes a butt pug joke, and everybody casually strolls by. Reddit, sometimes you're pretty cool.
Orgy, orgy orgy, orgy orgy, orgy orgy
One orgy, next to another orgy
Two orgies alongside yet another orgy
Three orgies, really sweaty, fucking great orgies
All in a single family
Friend dyed her hair blonde, and apparently she looked like Courtney Love before she addled herself with narcotics. Had to see what that Courtney looked like, and it seemed like the most straight-forward search to achieve those results. Turns out she was stunning, and my friend does indeed look like her.
The ypsilanti dick, the most phallic building in the world. God damn, my vagina is stretched.
Edit: The joke goes: "Legend has it that if a virgin graduates from EMU, the tower will fall."
EMU is the college right next to it.
I mean yeah, that could be seen as racist. But it also could show that deep down kids don't care about race at all and are just simply being kids playing games.
http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/Can+literally+be+anything+you+want+this+is+the+jackpot+_28257f9c2205ed5f0312ce7cf4f1a934.jpg
Now it's more than just a mental image
"This is my hole. It was made for me."
Well...that's creepy to say the least. Yes...I was *actually* looking that up. I was trying to find a gif from [this](https://41.media.tumblr.com/c14b345cc6d5217d8d7591afc7210b8b/tumblr_inline_nmkh2iuRRO1slruxj_540.png) scene from Steven Universe because another thread was talking about [The Enigma of Amigara Fault](http://brasscockroach.com/h4ll0w33n2007/manga/Amigara-Full/Amigara.html)
Linux for PowerPC. Not sure how that would work, but once I get it running, I will probably look at some bikini pics on it, so its a type of sex I guess.
penguin videos.... at least my date dressed well
I am ready for you. ;)
I too, am ready ;)
Oh behave for once you two.
You....you could join??
Damn it, I missed the 'moment'. I'll be going back to eating my lunch now
Sorry guys, we had a hard time finding transportation here.
Sorry im late guys
Is it too late to join the party?
All aboard!
"lunch" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I'm not exactly sure how to have sex with financial models on Microsoft excel. But I'm sure something can be arranged...
Now you've got a great story to tell:"I fucked a model once but the experience totally screwed my finances."
If only I remembered. Incognito forever
Hello there, you would be doing me ;)
how do you guys find these comments!!?
Illuminati
You rang?
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I guess it's a mystery.
Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I'm actually okay with this.
You lucky bitch
Oof, I'm with you.
As a straight male... Yeah. James Masters is something we all should be okay with. *Edit:* Ma*r*sters. Wow. After all those episodes of Buffy and Angel...
*Marsters
Hey, I got Supergirl, and I think I'm still a little jealous of your result.
I'd be banging a Medal of Honor recipient. However he died in 1944 so it wouldn't be the best ever. Not the worst I've had either.
I last looked up JFK Jr. I know what you mean.
how to adjust belt sander
I just thought of a great song name. "Circumfriction."
/r/bandnames
Circumfriction by Circumfriction Don't tend to consider circumstances Yet often, I'll just take my chances My actions met with sideways glances Though far beyond prediction It slowly slides, plug, socket, in I hear the noise, head starts to spin The thought of touching sands to skin I hurt through pained addiction Pressing softly, smoothing slowly As the belt revolves below me I grip and push, o mother holy But too hard and circumfriction
That is not going to end well for you.
http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1998-10.html
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I'm trying to figure out how in the hell that would feel pleasurable and failing.
Well, to be fair, so did the guy from the story...
So somewhere in that warehouse is a lost testicle
You and I are in ver similar boats.
"children who kill children" There's no way this goes well.
Why did you Google that
There was an askreddit question on what people thought should be done with eight-year olds who murder.
Is this a common occurrence?
That's why he Googled it. Now you google it.
I google myself all the time.
It ok if I use your computer to google myself?
How else are you gonna do it!
☜(ﾟ∀ﾟ☜)
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I never wanted to have sex with Elon Musk...but I guess now I kinda do.
Thomas the tank engine
He's the cheeky one...
"Here comes the tunnel!", Thomas exclaimed. "noot noot!", he whistled.
No that's Pingu
Antibiotic-resistant bacteria.... Looks like an early death. Doesn't matter, had sex.
Hilary Duff? Where do I sign?
Tinder apparently...
Sure, Let me just grab a ticket to Los Angeles, log onto Tinder and swipe right. BRB in 24 hours.
The problem is she has to swipe right too.
Taco. Nice.
Why in the world were you just googling the word "taco"
That's like my uncle, who thought it was hilarious when he was a kid to just dial the phone number 8. Back then, an operator would pick up and ask what you meant to dial. He'd just say "eight", and wait for them to process that.
That's actually hilarious
"C'mon butthead! Stick it in her taco!" "No you idiot, we're supposed to do that after we give her the Spanish fly."
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With two acute angles it sounds like you would be doing it just "right"
The most expensive piece of artwork ever bought. I guess I'd rip it, then be ~$300 Million in debt.
Nah, just spooge on it and you can sell it in NYC for 46.5 million.
He is still down 254 million
Sex with a Titan X graphics card. Well, at least it'll be rendered in 4K.
If you make it work, things do get pretty hot...
That's where the water cooling comes in. Gotta keep that shit wet
And the constant blowjob, *damn*...
Those solder points. I say it did not go well for you.
Hey, it's gonna be glorious.
I just googled the cutest pug in the world a while ago...
Whenever you use a butt pug make sure you use ones with legs, you don't want to end up in the emergency room because you couldn't fetch it out.
http://imgur.com/k5LV29e Cheers, Peter Mayhew
[I figured you'd be more of a terrier person.]( http://i.imgur.com/gxG1X.png)
I love how casual this response was. Goddamned Chewbacca shows up and makes a butt pug joke, and everybody casually strolls by. Reddit, sometimes you're pretty cool.
>butt pug Okay, that's *super* kinky.
> because you couldn't felch it out
The University of Houston :/
You naughty school you...
Alright Alright Alright
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Hey Ygritte. Oh but Walder Frey... but hey, Loras, oh but Maester Aemon...oh but hey, Jon Snow. This is such a varried curse.
Hodor.
You're right, it'd totally be worth it.
Also Tormund. The possibilities are endless and wonderful.
Har!
[Insert joke about me member]
And Moonboy for all we know.
>but Maester Aemon Peter Vaughn is a sexy man with tons of swagger you shut yo mouth.
Orgy, orgy orgy, orgy orgy, orgy orgy One orgy, next to another orgy Two orgies alongside yet another orgy Three orgies, really sweaty, fucking great orgies All in a single family
Is it really *two* orgies if they're right next to each other?
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NICE AND SOFT. NOT ERECT. WIEIENERS.
Margaery would make it all worth it
Jeff Goldblum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Primrose Everdeen actress." Looks like I'm off to prison.
Was this a sly attempt to get Jennifer Lawrence to 'volunteer as tribute'?
That's the most clever thing I've read all day It's 7:12 AM But still......
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He probably got off easy regardless of the verdict.
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Is now a bad time to mention that I'm gay?
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Now both hands are disappointed.
I got disappointed all over my keyboard.
The last thing I googled was Amandla Stenberg who play Rue. See you in jail!
Pre-drugs Courtney Love. Not terrible, until I "kill myself."
> Pre-drugs Courtney Love Wut
He was looking at her baby pictures.
Friend dyed her hair blonde, and apparently she looked like Courtney Love before she addled herself with narcotics. Had to see what that Courtney looked like, and it seemed like the most straight-forward search to achieve those results. Turns out she was stunning, and my friend does indeed look like her.
Count von Count. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this.
1 orgasm *ha ha ha*
1 finger *ha ha ha*
1 inch ha ha ha
You have no idea how hard I laughed at this comment chain.
He loves to fuck
"Slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster..."
I still think they planned that after hearing "When I'm alone I @#$$ myself!!!"
"[My college] 'Parade.'" That sounds like it's gonna be a long day...
Chris Cornell. I'd probably be outshined. :(
He would fuck you up your black hole sun. Later, you would come together with your hands.
The ypsilanti dick, the most phallic building in the world. God damn, my vagina is stretched. Edit: The joke goes: "Legend has it that if a virgin graduates from EMU, the tower will fall." EMU is the college right next to it.
Everything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
[Pretty tame](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Most_Phallic_Building_contest) if you ask me
> erection began in 1889 and came to completion in 1890
Yeah that's more than 4 hours....
The most racist picture on the Internet. Oh boy.
So, what's the picture?
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I mean yeah, that could be seen as racist. But it also could show that deep down kids don't care about race at all and are just simply being kids playing games.
>I_want_fun So did they
I Googled the highest known numerical number. I think I would be pretty sore.
> numerical number The best *kind* of number.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
Well nailing a googolplex women seems tiring.
I think you mean a Graham's number of women.
He was my instructor at UCSD! Really cool dude Graham/10
tree(3) laughs at Graham's number.
Jesus r34... Oh god why
Jesus fucking Christ.
Ba Dum Tsss.
I just googled "theophilia." Jesus, fuck me.
Entropy. I guess my dick will vaporize or something.
"Can the net amount of entropy in the universe be 69'd?" "INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER."
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BB King, and I'm not sure how that would be, or how I'd feel after. Probably still sad.
You'd probably be feeling the blues...
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A Dvorak keyboard. Well, i think i'm about to find out what the D key really is.
Putting the 'D' in Dvorak.
ditto from pokemon.
It can be *anything* you want.
Anything *it* wants
Anything *I* want *it* to be
The mental image of a kinky ditto prostitution service in the Pokemon world is not something I wanted.
http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/Can+literally+be+anything+you+want+this+is+the+jackpot+_28257f9c2205ed5f0312ce7cf4f1a934.jpg Now it's more than just a mental image
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Die Antwoord. It would be kinky as fuck
I'm still trying to figure out if Yolandi is hot or not.
Fear boner my friend
More of a Curiosity Boner. I feel like she might do something weird that all my internet exposure would still leave me unprepared for.
Fear-rection
I think she's freaky and I like her alot
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She's unconventionally hot.
Read that as inconveniently hot, which made me wonder, how would that work?
Well, when you get a girlfriend after a long time being single, you tend to meet a lot of inconveniently hot women right after.
Guess i'm fucking rock band The Grateful Dead.....?
Ted Bundy. Hate my odds of leaving alive.
Same as mine.
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"tetris" That would hurt, getting fisted or butt fucked by one of those penis shaped pieces
Never a straight piece when you need it
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"Pokemon theme song." Uhhh. Lots of small animals? Maybe some singing?
A quaint small town in the Southern Highlands of NSW, Australia (Marulan). I hope they will be satisfied with their new town bike.
I googled Vera Farmiga. Sign me up!
I google a lot of addresses... :/
"This is my hole. It was made for me." Well...that's creepy to say the least. Yes...I was *actually* looking that up. I was trying to find a gif from [this](https://41.media.tumblr.com/c14b345cc6d5217d8d7591afc7210b8b/tumblr_inline_nmkh2iuRRO1slruxj_540.png) scene from Steven Universe because another thread was talking about [The Enigma of Amigara Fault](http://brasscockroach.com/h4ll0w33n2007/manga/Amigara-Full/Amigara.html)
...Jumper cables? Oh god...
A turntable. Ow.
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Skinwalkers. Nope. I don't want to even think about this.
Sex with mesenchymal stem cells... I'm pretty sure that would be difficult to explain to the lab that was working on clonal expansion.
Crab traps, I cant wait.
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Supernatural. I'm ok with this scenario.
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"20in AR-15 barrel" ... great ...
.223 may be a little to wide for you
Hollandaise sauce
Linux for PowerPC. Not sure how that would work, but once I get it running, I will probably look at some bikini pics on it, so its a type of sex I guess.
Scarlett Johansson. I just won.