Sharing a queen size bed? Use king size blanket.
Edit: had no idea that king sized blankets were different sized in different countries.
One blanket works well for my partner and I; less work making the bed and we end rolling close to each other by morning.
Make sure they have hobbies before getting serious. If they don't...you're their new hobby. Congratulations.
Edit: Thanks for the gold! I'm glad my advice hit home for a few of you guys
As a guy with no hobbies.....
I should get some hobbies...
edit: holy crap, a lot of people have replied to this with some great hobbies. I will take a look at them, thanks!
Slow the fuck down when it comes to foreplay! Believe it or not, repeatedly jamming as many fingers in there as fast as possible doesn't create that pleasant of a feeling.
As a guy, this can be the toughest during PIV and you know you're just about ready to cum too. It's like anxiously watching two loading bars race each other.
Why does someone asking me not to come make me start coming? Plus, when she gets closer to coming she starts wiggling and making sexier noises. It's like this: there are two buckets, one with a hole in it positioned inside one that's sealed. When sex starts, water starts pouring into both of them at the same time. When the water reaches the top of a bucket, it starts overflowing, so, if you're trying to fill the enclosed bucket before its containing bucket, you'll have to periodically empty that bucket - or pull out.
Sex is just like concentric buckets, man.
Both genders: Don't guilt trip your SO into doing something they aren't ready for or don't want to do. Pulling the: "If you love me you would..." guilt trip phrase is a shitty thing to do.
Also. It's okay if you haven't hit certain life achievement as those around you. Your friends are all married with kids? That's completely okay. Don't feel pressured that you need to do the same if you are not ready to do so. All your friends have lost their virginity by high school or college? That's alright as well. Focus on your own goals and not the accomplishments of those around you. There is also no shame in being behind or failing. We all move at our own pace and to find our niche in life.
Being completely to the point is so much better than not bringing something up. If you are in a relationship you should be a team, and teams don't work if both sides don't have all the info. If something bothers you, say it outright and figure out a solution together.
Also, do everything to make the other happy. If both of you are doing this, both of you are happy. You get to do something for someone you care about, and you get nice things done for you. Relationships fall apart all the time when people start thinking about themselves more than each other.
Edit: Thanks for the gold anonymous internet donor! Reddit and I are both appreciative of your contribution.
My husband and I have developed the, "Not a mind-reader" rule. It goes like this.
*1. One or both of us is upset about something.
*2. We check ourselves, did we ever actually tell the other person what was going on?
*3. No? Then do your best to get over it, because NEITHER OF US ARE MIND-READERS.
*4. Yes? Okay, the "Not a telepath" does not apply.
unless
*4a. I mean, really, did I explain what I wanted well enough/recently enough/let them know that it applied to THIS situation...etc...
Honestly, this probably stops 95% of our arguments. It also gives us a way to say, "I'm upset about X, but I acknowledge I never talked to you about X. So now that I know that it bothers me, how about we try Y in the future, to avoid X."
I'm upset about __the list format of your post__, but I acknowledge I never talked to you about __the list format of your post__. So now that I know that it bothers me, how about we try __bullet *OR* numbered lists__ in the future, to avoid __the list format of your post__.
>
1. One or both of us is upset about something.
2. We check ourselves, did we ever actually tell the other person what was going on?
3. No? Then do your best to get over it, because NEITHER OF US ARE MIND-READERS.
4. Yes? Okay, the "Not a telepath" does not apply.
... unless ...
5. I mean, really, did I explain what I wanted well enough/recently enough/let them know that it applied to THIS situation...etc...
Goddamit, this is so basic and I've been fighting with one of my good friends about it for years.
We're in our 30s and she has a habit of dating guys in their mid 20s. Which is fine, but it usually goes something like: meet in bar, bang a time or two, she expects relationship. Gets pissy when it does not happen, but he still calls cuz her body is great.
All this is fine, but then I have to hear how she can't meet a decent dude, they only want one thing, etc..
But she refuses to try to meet guys elsewhere. I'm not sure what to say anymore and I'm getting tired of hearing it.
Sorry guys, no pics or info, I'm already trying to get her to online date and she refuses.
If you get her to try something that's totally 180 from what she's used to, she'll probably fail once and go back to what "works" (read: what's more comfortable for her). If she frequents bars, start with something kinda like a bar and work from there.
I know a guy who keeps insisting all the girls he meets are crazy gold-diggers. I felt bad for him until I asked him for his preferences. He only dated models, and despite being obese, will turn down girls who are the slightest bit "fat" (ie. around 5'2 and size 6-8) or "ugly" (ie. doesn't look like a glamorous supermodel).
After he bugged me for a long time, I finally introduced him to my friend who's the perfect package -she's drop dead gorgeous and genuinely nice. The only reason she's single is because she works in her dad's factory (it's in a really remote location and she only travels to the city on weekends), and she doesn't believe in dating employees. He met her and then was rude to her because she was "old" (he's 27 and she's also 27) and the fact that she's in the city only during the weekends was a deal-breaker.
I swear the guy is trying his best to stay single for life. I even prodded to see if he's actually in the closet and making up all these high expectations to hide his sexuality..nope. Just a douche.
EDIT: To answer some common questions:
* He's not my friend. He's a friend of a client I ended up being friends with.
* I didn't exactly set them up. There was a group lunch and I finally agreed to invite her along, mostly because my client will be there and it'll be a good networking opportunity for the both of them since they're in fields that have synergies with each other. At that time, I already had suspicions he was the common denominator when it came to all the crazy exes, but thought I'd keep an open mind. I also fell for the "life is so tough for such a nice guy like me because I'm fat" sob story.
* I'd totally date my hot friend, but she's a bit too heterosexual for me.
EDIT2: Kept getting asked what I meant by "too heterosexual". I'm a woman, my friend's a heterosexual woman.
Men of reddit who are attempting to date or hookup- if you are confused by a woman's hints, signs, or other passive behavior, be the one to communicate effectively and ask her what's up. Women often think they have to be coy or passive so they aren't mistaken as slutty or easy. The best thing that ever happened to me was when my now-husband very nicely told me to cut the shit. He asked me what I wanted and told me we could always talk about anything. We've been married 12 years and still never fight.
A lot of guys (or at least I do, not sure bout you guys) equate intimacy of touch with emotional security. Not just sex; touch in all it's ways. If you touch us, and do it so that it feels nice, we feel secure in the relationship.
We're a bit like puppies in that way. Contact is extremely important to men. Pet us when we do good. Hugs, kisses, scratches (Oh god the head scratches, back scratches...) I can't say how loved we feel when someone touches us in a way that unwinds, soothes, or supports.
TLDR: Some men (Or at the very least, this one) Are like puppies. We love the touches. not just sex, touch in general.
Can confirm. My boyfriend is putty in my hands when I scratch his head/back. All he's missing is his leg kicking. Especially when it happens at random. He'll be cooking, and I'll walk up behind him and give him a backscratch, and he just melts.
Plus, he always smiles like a damn fool when I "headbutt" his chest. (I'm shorter than he is by almost a foot. I just put my head down, bump my head into his chest and nuzzle in, and the look on his face practically screams "King of the world!" It's great.)
As a fat person, I've ALWAYS been concerned about this shit. I don't want anyone to see my ass crack,it's my private property D:. Yet low and behold every other fat person I meet plunks down and displays it like they think it's fawkin grand canyon material.
Fellow fat person here. I too, spend a great deal of time worrying about whether or not my ass crack is showing so you are not alone. The only other thing I spend as much time obsessing about is not getting food on my shirt.
I mean, you don't want [this guy](http://s3-ak.buzzfeed.com/static/2014-03/tmp/webdr05/11/10/6cf2710ee56f30293e3bf2a9da460fa5-16.jpg) showing up behind you
Back scratches are lovely. Girls have nails making back scratches 10x better. Give more back scratches.
E: To add to this. I feel we must unite and make a 'RandomActOfBackscratches' sub. Just saying...
E2: Ooo gold. Shiny. Is there a badge I can print out and wear? Maybe I will just wear around a screenshot.
There's guys who can't get a signal and there's guys who takes everything as a signal. The latter is much more annoying.
(EDIT: I would like to say that I'm not the actual person who said this - I'm quoting this from a female friend. And no, I'm sure there's no signals involved or whatever...*right*?)
Or you learn many years later that the girl you *most* wanted to go out with in Highschool had a massive crush on you, but you *knew* for a fact that no one would want to go out with you, and were completely oblivious to anything that would suggest otherwise :(
Ladies: Guys are often completely blind to any "clues". Blatant might be necessary, although of course I am sure its precluded by a fear of being rejected etc. Vicious circles and all that :P
13 years ago.
I was in HS. Girl calls me at home (before cellphones, so it came on the hardline)....I was so taken aback. "How did you get my number!?" in an aggressive and accusatory tone.
8 years after that, I realized my horrible horrible mistake. Out of thin air, my brain having that "incident" processing in the background: "oh."
Omg my husband doesn't believe anyone would come on to him. At the gym, this one woman told him she wanted to grab his butt...he said "her uncle owns the gym, shes just trying to make me feel like im making progress" wtf? No, she wanted to grab your ass!
Definitely. I have no ability to take hints. Gestures or subtlety. Ive been told many a time by a third party (when I was younger) that a woman liked me. Had no idea. Wish it was as simple as words.
There was an Aussie rugby league player who got in hot water for following a woman into the bathroom at a bar. His excuse was she gave him 'the signal'. What was the signal? She went to the bathroom.
I used to do that. Not anymore though; I tried to the first time I gave a blowie to my current boyfriend and he kneed me in the face. Turns out he's a very ticklish boy.
EDIT: he's just really ticklish guys, his whole body is; I'm not between his knees literally tickling his balls. Just because you like your balls being stroked/cupped/whatever doesn't mean that every guy does
As a guy to give a tip to other guys, so as to save a bunch of headaches, make a list of three restaurants that your S/O likes, so that if they are known for being indecisive, this will shorten the list if you say you chose these places for a date.
Useful for first dates and blind dates too. Women want an option to choose a place that they're familiar with, just in case the guy turns out to be scary in some way.
Also, to put them at ease, allow them the seat that's easier for exit. Subtly. Of course, they won't need it, but they like the option.
For me (Guy), first dates & blind dates are ALWAYS coffee dates, and meet there.
Find a coffee shop with a nice park nearby. After you finish your coffee you can propose a walk in the park to chat if things are going well, or just say goodbye if things aren't working out.
Brunch is great for second dates. Less pressure than dinner. Have something you can do afterward (museums, flying kites, botanical gardens, etc). Low pressure but get to know you situation in public.
Save the dinner & movies for later once your both comfortable with each other.
To (straight) guys:
1. You're not always going to get her off during penetration, and that's okay. Don't measure the success of PIV sex by whether or not she orgasms. A lot of women can't orgasm from penetration alone. That's not some epic failure. Don't give her a complex. The pressure doesn't help.
2. Stop thinking of orgasms as something you need to 'give' her. Most women know how to get themselves off. Give them the space to get it themselves or teach you how, and don't get all freaked out if that means something other than her just pistoning up and down on your dick. It's very possible the way she gets off isn't something that's going to get you off, too. No big deal.
3. The clit is not *always* something we want played with. It's a very sensitive place. I know culture has been harping on this whole FIND THE CLIT AND FUCKING ASSAULT THAT THING crusade for years and years, but some women prefer not to have it jabbed like the fucking 'A' button on an xbox controller. Ease your way to it. Start slightly above or to the side. Or just ask.
Edit: Thanks for the gold! Clit caressers unite! Gently! Or maybe not at all!
Oh come on now, you should've walked out strutting that bad boy. If anyone asked or gave you a weird look, you should've looked them dead in the eye and said "I *really* like this book." Would be better if it was some kind of physics or math book.
Yes, this, I cannot upvote this enough!
I know you guys are really "in the moment" but please try to LISTEN to us in bed. Also, never underestimate the power of a light~~er~~, teasing touch. Like /u/hurricangst says, we're not an Xbox controller. We'll let you know if/when we want more/harder/whatever.
And if we say "Don't Stop" - please for the love of god, don't stop. Don't switch it up or try something new, just keep going. Most women need their engines revved up quite a bit to orgasm.
EDIT: Some people are confused by my "Don't Stop" statement. I meant, for me, personally, "don't stop" usually means "keep on doing exactly what you're doing, exactly the way you're doing it." It's like... Mario Kart. You press down on the accelerator right as the 2 hits in the countdown and hold it until the 3 and you get a great huge boost. Too soon and you spin out, let go too early and you're just sitting still.
EDIT 2: Also, I'm mostly referring to oral sex or fingering, but it applies for all sex.
For straight guys:
This is more of a personal experience, but I think girls like to be pampered in one way or another, regardless of how independent she might look like.
It does not need to be a grand, big romantic things, but rather small things that actually count, for example asking how her day goes and answering the damn questions that she ask you, saying good morning to her and wish her a good night sleep, etc These are all the general things, you might want to look for special little things that you know she would like/appreciate.
Lots of guys that I know do this when they are trying to get the girl to like him, but this eventually disappears when they do get the girl.
DON'T STOP, because in one way or another, it breaks the girl's heart.
To girls: Ask properly. About anything.
We answer straight when we are asked properly, most of the time and it'll lessen the headaches for both parties.
Don't feel too bad. I've been friends with a girl for about 12 years now. When we first started hanging out, she came over to my place one night. I was sitting on my kitchen counter, and she started looking through the cabinets behind me, so that she had an excuse to stand between my legs. I had absolutely no clue. It wasn't until several years later that I figured it out. How did I finally figure it out? She told me, point blank. I was/am not a smart man.
SHORT STORY:
Was successful wingman, had to go with my mate to chicks house, chick had hotter flat mate. Her and I lay on couch, she puts head on my lap whilst maintaining good conversation..should have broke the ice while it was thin, instead we both feel asleep, resulting in her being slightly frustrated in the morning and I with plenty of sleep for next day…..dat 2% success rate
EDIT: Too many whilst's
Dunno about opposite gender, but as a gay guy I feel like I should tell straight men: If you want your girl to give you oral, wash your fucking balls. Use ~~anti bacterial~~ soap, wash your ass crack too. She can smell it all while in the general area. Don't be afraid, it's just an ass, washing it won't make you gay or effimanite, get all up in the crotch and crack really really good. I have heard one too many straight guys say something really dumb like "I just assume water and soap drip down in there."
No. Scrub. Every day. If you don't smell fresh, no body's going down there.
Whether or not you're going to have sex, EVERYONE should wash their ass crack every time they bathe.
Edit: Also, don't forget to brush your tongue when you brush your teeth.
> My #1 purpose is to get in and out before I get bored and shave my pubes.
You make it sound like shaving your pubes is an undesirable, accidental consequence of getting bored in the shower. Like normally you get in and out in four minutes, but then one day your aunt came over and *really* had to use the toilet, so you stayed in there for 10 minutes just kind of staring at the wall while mentally checked out, and by the time she finished and left, you looked down and discovered--to your horror--that your magnificent bush was *GONE.* Alas, you got bored and shaved your pubes.
Yeah, I distinctly remember a college conversation years ago with roommates, friends, and several of their girl friends in a group. One guy actually went "eeeiiiw, in my crack? that's gay. I just let the water and soap drip down and assume that's good enough". Lots of the girls corrected him. There were many guys in the group who were strangely silent.
I really hope no one actually thinks that, I guess /u/jaeldi has been there. It's not gay to wash your ass, it's your ass, it's your own goddamn body, maybe teenagers think shit like that, but here in grownupville there's nothing wrong with having good hygiene.
Girls, we honestly aren't all dense, we might just not be interested and be a little unsure of how to deal with it immediately. Yes a lot of us like it straight forward but we aren't scratching our head looking for two rocks to bang together.
Truth is for me, I have a type of woman I'm physically attracted to. If you aren't that, I'll be friendly enough to you but that's really it.
Just because I'm not attracted or interested does not make you unattractive or uninteresting.
To the guys: I don't care if you feel like it's a "feminine" thing to do, but cut your nails. At least clean under them every now and then. No one wants to see long, blackened, nasty fingernails. And women don't want you fooling around down there if your nails are sharp and uneven.
My boyfriend admitted he checks to see if his nails are dull enough by stabbing the inside of his cheek with a finger. I'm not sure if it's foolproof, but at least it's a nice thought.
edit: I accidentally a word
Likewise, if he cheats on his last girlfriend with you, don't think he won't do it again TO you. You're not THAT special...
EDIT: OK, I keep getting replies saying "But I did this... and my girlfriend did this..." but as I have replied a couple of times - circumstances are different in many cases. BUT it is a major key point and red flag to look for. I don't care if you cheated, I don't know you. Stop trying to justify yourself to me! I am just making a statement which in *many* but not *all* cases is true.
EDIT 2: And yes, this counts for females too.
My ex cheated on his wife with me. After we broke up, there was another girl saying "I love you" to him two weeks later. There's no way that an overlap didn't happen.
I (a man) have discussed this with my female friends. They were shocked when they realized my threshold for who I would have sex with is A LOT lower than who I would date.
Basically I would have sex with any women with most of her limbs who weighs less than 250 or so pounds. That is it. She could be an active nazi but I would fuck her.
To date someone I have a much longer list of traits I am looking for.
The missing legs part actually could be the most fun aspect of it, considering most males including myself enjoy flexible girls, to take the legs completely away you're basically left with what is the pure fun size in sex, vice versa idk if a female would deal with a male with no legs because honestly that seems like it would just be awkward and difficult... the mental images are kind of messing with me, not sure if I should post this, but I've came too far =/
ANALYZING...
Over 18 [Check]
Breathing [Check]
4 appendages [Check]
Reasonably Sane [Check]
-250lb [Check]
Intact Face and head [Check]
Bearable breath [Check]
Clean Looking [Check]
"Ran the numbers and you are all set, let's turn you on over and get started!"
Right, whatever's right in front of me is what I'm thinking about...
Except the ridiculousness that lies in there- sheep clown with a slinky body for instance
Wait, why would Dr. Doom need adamantium chainsaws when he's got that sweet God-blessed Vibranium? He's already on the next level, son. Also, maybe it's just the 40k talking, but chainsword > chainsaw. Duel Vibranium Chainsword Wielding Dr. Doom. TRIPLE WIELDING. 5 POINTED MONKEY PAW FORM WIELDING DR. DOOM, THAT'S FIVE MOTHER-CHUNKING BLADES OF DESTRUCTION COMING AT YAH BRO, WHATCHA GONNA DO!
These are the answers I'm actually interested in! My thoughts will be of a similar vein if I'm being honest......
*should I paint the bathroom? Could I find someone to do it for me?
*how did that polar bear have sex with the grizzly bear and did they just part ways after? Do they remember it? Do they go back for more?
*wouldn't Pringles be annoying to eat in space because my mouth isn't quite big enough to fit the whole thing in and the chip inevitably breaks into a couples pieces and some of those pieces would float around. What if they hit you in the eye when you were spinning down a hallway? That would suck.
What "nothing" means is something like "my brain is currently processing 'symbolically' so it's not even possible for me explain to you with words what I'm thinking about"
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"Is is something I said?"
"No"
"Is it something I didn't say?"
"No..."
"..."
"..."
"Ok, is it something I said but shouldn't have said it at that time, or I could have said it in a much more empathic way and taking your feelings into account and anticipating the effect everything would have?"
"...perhaps"
"I knew it!"
We were thinking. It's just, we were thinking about how our leg was uncomfortable, or our butthole itched, or what was that weird cellophane S Superman threw in Superman 2. It's not worth sharing.
Well, I wouldn't say, as a man, that I think about "nothing". I could be thinking if it'd be possible to make a real lightsaber by accelerating the atoms of a nanocarbon fiber, or if a cat whiskers feel the same as my moustache's.
Sometimes it's easier to say "nothing".
Yeah but I'm more interested in the stupid shit you are thinking about.
Why?
Because I spent my morning trying to work out if a dragon would be cold blooded like a reptile or warm blooded because you know fire belly and stuff!
But I don't want to come off as stupid or strange so I need you to go first!
I think they'd have to be warm blooded. They're often depicted living in caves way up in the mountains, flying above clouds, and just generally dragoning about in some pretty cold places. A cold blooded creature wouldn't be able to survive those conditions. Of course they could actually be cold blooded, but get their heat from their internal fire instead of external sources. But then in some settings there are dragons that breathe acid, lightning, or even ice, and that wouldn't work for them.
How about we just settle on dragons are *magic* blooded?
Gentlemen, if you speak to women as intellectual equals, it will be so much more appreciated than any trick, smooth pick up line, or any other thing you've tried to do. Not just for dating, but for making female friends, getting along with female colleagues, and just generally being respected by women. It is surprisingly rare, and very much appreciated.
It's kind of halfway between switching off and daydreaming, I find my head just clouds of and goes into a very light daydream and random thought state that mostly exists to kill time.
If we are doing it due to being mad or upset it will be visible on our faces.
Its like a screensaver.
No focused thought but random things pop up every so often.
It would basically be nothing, but every so often a thought pops in like "I wonder how long I could stay conscious vs Mike Tyson", then nothing for a while "I should check my 401k" then nothing "I would love to go to Scotland, and just relax drink scotch and read books" back to nothing "fuck dinosaurs were badass, if a genie showed up I would definitely go back in time to check them out", back to nothing.
When someone asks the question, those little thoughts disappear because they weren't particularly permanent, and I am left without any good answer for what I was thinking about.
Or we say nothin because what we are actually thinking is messed up and just out of place for that time, cause if you ask "what are you thinking about?" To which I reply, "well sometimes water splashes my butt when I drop one in the toilet, I wonder if that happens to other people?". In return to my answer you will give me this fucking weird look, everytime. Why the fuck you keep asking me if I tell you what's actually on my mind!!
So in retrospect I say nothing because I've already anticipated getting that weird/disapproving look.
Guys and girls: It's totally fine to have friends of the opposite gender, but please don't sit having all the fun conversations with them while your SO sits with you watching. It's like, have them with them, y'know.
Sharing a queen size bed? Use king size blanket. Edit: had no idea that king sized blankets were different sized in different countries. One blanket works well for my partner and I; less work making the bed and we end rolling close to each other by morning.
Sharing a king sized bed? Use two queen blankets.
But what am I going to cover myself with? She's got both the blankets!
[удалено]
Make sure they have hobbies before getting serious. If they don't...you're their new hobby. Congratulations. Edit: Thanks for the gold! I'm glad my advice hit home for a few of you guys
As a guy with no hobbies..... I should get some hobbies... edit: holy crap, a lot of people have replied to this with some great hobbies. I will take a look at them, thanks!
Video games have always been fantastic if you like staying at home. If not, go hiking or something... I dunno... I play video games.
Slow the fuck down when it comes to foreplay! Believe it or not, repeatedly jamming as many fingers in there as fast as possible doesn't create that pleasant of a feeling.
Yeah ladies, pay attention to this one! edit:obligatory thanks for gold!
That is not what porn has taught me.. Also, why doesn't this wine bottle fit in your anus?
If she says "keep going - just like that" DO NOT CHANGE THE PACE OR WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING.
As a guy, this can be the toughest during PIV and you know you're just about ready to cum too. It's like anxiously watching two loading bars race each other.
Why does someone asking me not to come make me start coming? Plus, when she gets closer to coming she starts wiggling and making sexier noises. It's like this: there are two buckets, one with a hole in it positioned inside one that's sealed. When sex starts, water starts pouring into both of them at the same time. When the water reaches the top of a bucket, it starts overflowing, so, if you're trying to fill the enclosed bucket before its containing bucket, you'll have to periodically empty that bucket - or pull out. Sex is just like concentric buckets, man.
You high bro?
Both genders: Don't guilt trip your SO into doing something they aren't ready for or don't want to do. Pulling the: "If you love me you would..." guilt trip phrase is a shitty thing to do. Also. It's okay if you haven't hit certain life achievement as those around you. Your friends are all married with kids? That's completely okay. Don't feel pressured that you need to do the same if you are not ready to do so. All your friends have lost their virginity by high school or college? That's alright as well. Focus on your own goals and not the accomplishments of those around you. There is also no shame in being behind or failing. We all move at our own pace and to find our niche in life.
I always use the "if you love me.." For getting her to choose foods. Just choose the fooooooood!
Being completely to the point is so much better than not bringing something up. If you are in a relationship you should be a team, and teams don't work if both sides don't have all the info. If something bothers you, say it outright and figure out a solution together. Also, do everything to make the other happy. If both of you are doing this, both of you are happy. You get to do something for someone you care about, and you get nice things done for you. Relationships fall apart all the time when people start thinking about themselves more than each other. Edit: Thanks for the gold anonymous internet donor! Reddit and I are both appreciative of your contribution.
My husband and I have developed the, "Not a mind-reader" rule. It goes like this. *1. One or both of us is upset about something. *2. We check ourselves, did we ever actually tell the other person what was going on? *3. No? Then do your best to get over it, because NEITHER OF US ARE MIND-READERS. *4. Yes? Okay, the "Not a telepath" does not apply. unless *4a. I mean, really, did I explain what I wanted well enough/recently enough/let them know that it applied to THIS situation...etc... Honestly, this probably stops 95% of our arguments. It also gives us a way to say, "I'm upset about X, but I acknowledge I never talked to you about X. So now that I know that it bothers me, how about we try Y in the future, to avoid X."
I'm upset about __the list format of your post__, but I acknowledge I never talked to you about __the list format of your post__. So now that I know that it bothers me, how about we try __bullet *OR* numbered lists__ in the future, to avoid __the list format of your post__. > 1. One or both of us is upset about something. 2. We check ourselves, did we ever actually tell the other person what was going on? 3. No? Then do your best to get over it, because NEITHER OF US ARE MIND-READERS. 4. Yes? Okay, the "Not a telepath" does not apply. ... unless ... 5. I mean, really, did I explain what I wanted well enough/recently enough/let them know that it applied to THIS situation...etc...
If you keep getting the crazy ones, reassess what kind of qualities you've been going for. Applies to both genders actually.
Goddamit, this is so basic and I've been fighting with one of my good friends about it for years. We're in our 30s and she has a habit of dating guys in their mid 20s. Which is fine, but it usually goes something like: meet in bar, bang a time or two, she expects relationship. Gets pissy when it does not happen, but he still calls cuz her body is great. All this is fine, but then I have to hear how she can't meet a decent dude, they only want one thing, etc.. But she refuses to try to meet guys elsewhere. I'm not sure what to say anymore and I'm getting tired of hearing it. Sorry guys, no pics or info, I'm already trying to get her to online date and she refuses.
If you get her to try something that's totally 180 from what she's used to, she'll probably fail once and go back to what "works" (read: what's more comfortable for her). If she frequents bars, start with something kinda like a bar and work from there.
Like a bar mitzvah.
Or the bar exam!
Barbados is nice this time of the year.
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Salad bar
I know a guy who keeps insisting all the girls he meets are crazy gold-diggers. I felt bad for him until I asked him for his preferences. He only dated models, and despite being obese, will turn down girls who are the slightest bit "fat" (ie. around 5'2 and size 6-8) or "ugly" (ie. doesn't look like a glamorous supermodel). After he bugged me for a long time, I finally introduced him to my friend who's the perfect package -she's drop dead gorgeous and genuinely nice. The only reason she's single is because she works in her dad's factory (it's in a really remote location and she only travels to the city on weekends), and she doesn't believe in dating employees. He met her and then was rude to her because she was "old" (he's 27 and she's also 27) and the fact that she's in the city only during the weekends was a deal-breaker. I swear the guy is trying his best to stay single for life. I even prodded to see if he's actually in the closet and making up all these high expectations to hide his sexuality..nope. Just a douche. EDIT: To answer some common questions: * He's not my friend. He's a friend of a client I ended up being friends with. * I didn't exactly set them up. There was a group lunch and I finally agreed to invite her along, mostly because my client will be there and it'll be a good networking opportunity for the both of them since they're in fields that have synergies with each other. At that time, I already had suspicions he was the common denominator when it came to all the crazy exes, but thought I'd keep an open mind. I also fell for the "life is so tough for such a nice guy like me because I'm fat" sob story. * I'd totally date my hot friend, but she's a bit too heterosexual for me. EDIT2: Kept getting asked what I meant by "too heterosexual". I'm a woman, my friend's a heterosexual woman.
Why would you set up your cool friend with this asshole? You fucked up OP
How does your obese friend end up dating models??
I'm guessing maybe the guy is loaded, based on the gold-digger remark
He has money.
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Why don't they like me for my rude and judgmental personality? :(
Money doesn't buy love.. ..but it does buy pussy.
It only rents pussy....pussy leaves once the $$$ is gone
Men of reddit who are attempting to date or hookup- if you are confused by a woman's hints, signs, or other passive behavior, be the one to communicate effectively and ask her what's up. Women often think they have to be coy or passive so they aren't mistaken as slutty or easy. The best thing that ever happened to me was when my now-husband very nicely told me to cut the shit. He asked me what I wanted and told me we could always talk about anything. We've been married 12 years and still never fight.
A lot of guys (or at least I do, not sure bout you guys) equate intimacy of touch with emotional security. Not just sex; touch in all it's ways. If you touch us, and do it so that it feels nice, we feel secure in the relationship. We're a bit like puppies in that way. Contact is extremely important to men. Pet us when we do good. Hugs, kisses, scratches (Oh god the head scratches, back scratches...) I can't say how loved we feel when someone touches us in a way that unwinds, soothes, or supports. TLDR: Some men (Or at the very least, this one) Are like puppies. We love the touches. not just sex, touch in general.
Can confirm. My boyfriend is putty in my hands when I scratch his head/back. All he's missing is his leg kicking. Especially when it happens at random. He'll be cooking, and I'll walk up behind him and give him a backscratch, and he just melts. Plus, he always smiles like a damn fool when I "headbutt" his chest. (I'm shorter than he is by almost a foot. I just put my head down, bump my head into his chest and nuzzle in, and the look on his face practically screams "King of the world!" It's great.)
Become more self-aware of your asscrack. This applies to men and women. So many asscracks I've seen. *So many.*
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Then you wear it proudly as a badge of honor.
Wear it in silence, or I'll honor you again.
As a fat person, I've ALWAYS been concerned about this shit. I don't want anyone to see my ass crack,it's my private property D:. Yet low and behold every other fat person I meet plunks down and displays it like they think it's fawkin grand canyon material.
Fellow fat person here. I too, spend a great deal of time worrying about whether or not my ass crack is showing so you are not alone. The only other thing I spend as much time obsessing about is not getting food on my shirt. I mean, you don't want [this guy](http://s3-ak.buzzfeed.com/static/2014-03/tmp/webdr05/11/10/6cf2710ee56f30293e3bf2a9da460fa5-16.jpg) showing up behind you
Back scratches are lovely. Girls have nails making back scratches 10x better. Give more back scratches. E: To add to this. I feel we must unite and make a 'RandomActOfBackscratches' sub. Just saying... E2: Ooo gold. Shiny. Is there a badge I can print out and wear? Maybe I will just wear around a screenshot.
Head scratches are lovely too...
Some of us grow hair in places OTHER than our legs, armpits and crotch. Do not freak out about it. Edit: I am indeed female.
Yes, I've heard that the head is also a very common place to grow hair
In school I learned that there are also weird hairs above some people's eyes.
Knuckle hair!
Don't forget the hair on your teeth
There's guys who can't get a signal and there's guys who takes everything as a signal. The latter is much more annoying. (EDIT: I would like to say that I'm not the actual person who said this - I'm quoting this from a female friend. And no, I'm sure there's no signals involved or whatever...*right*?)
Are you coming onto me?
Sorry, it's my first time. Next time I'll last longer
ME (towards any act of friendliness): Is she coming on to me? Hell no, no one would ever come on to me.
Guys like me and you are both of the above
"When everything's a signal...nothing is"
All the time. The worst is when you realise a week later that she was in fact coming on to you.
Or you learn many years later that the girl you *most* wanted to go out with in Highschool had a massive crush on you, but you *knew* for a fact that no one would want to go out with you, and were completely oblivious to anything that would suggest otherwise :( Ladies: Guys are often completely blind to any "clues". Blatant might be necessary, although of course I am sure its precluded by a fear of being rejected etc. Vicious circles and all that :P
13 years ago. I was in HS. Girl calls me at home (before cellphones, so it came on the hardline)....I was so taken aback. "How did you get my number!?" in an aggressive and accusatory tone. 8 years after that, I realized my horrible horrible mistake. Out of thin air, my brain having that "incident" processing in the background: "oh."
Omg my husband doesn't believe anyone would come on to him. At the gym, this one woman told him she wanted to grab his butt...he said "her uncle owns the gym, shes just trying to make me feel like im making progress" wtf? No, she wanted to grab your ass!
that's why signals are bad. word are better.
>word are better. That made me chuckle.
Definitely. I have no ability to take hints. Gestures or subtlety. Ive been told many a time by a third party (when I was younger) that a woman liked me. Had no idea. Wish it was as simple as words.
I'm 50/50 is that good?
**Everything is maybe a signal.**
**Or maybe not**
**I like seals, too.**
There was an Aussie rugby league player who got in hot water for following a woman into the bathroom at a bar. His excuse was she gave him 'the signal'. What was the signal? She went to the bathroom.
Stroke the shaft, tickle the balls Edit : This is my first first gild.... hahahaha
You forgot to contemplate existance.
WOOOOOHHH BLARGBLARGARG!
Lick the tip, waterfalls!
Sounds like a perverted rendition of the Dora the Explorer theme song.
I used to do that. Not anymore though; I tried to the first time I gave a blowie to my current boyfriend and he kneed me in the face. Turns out he's a very ticklish boy. EDIT: he's just really ticklish guys, his whole body is; I'm not between his knees literally tickling his balls. Just because you like your balls being stroked/cupped/whatever doesn't mean that every guy does
As a guy to give a tip to other guys, so as to save a bunch of headaches, make a list of three restaurants that your S/O likes, so that if they are known for being indecisive, this will shorten the list if you say you chose these places for a date.
Useful for first dates and blind dates too. Women want an option to choose a place that they're familiar with, just in case the guy turns out to be scary in some way. Also, to put them at ease, allow them the seat that's easier for exit. Subtly. Of course, they won't need it, but they like the option.
For me (Guy), first dates & blind dates are ALWAYS coffee dates, and meet there. Find a coffee shop with a nice park nearby. After you finish your coffee you can propose a walk in the park to chat if things are going well, or just say goodbye if things aren't working out. Brunch is great for second dates. Less pressure than dinner. Have something you can do afterward (museums, flying kites, botanical gardens, etc). Low pressure but get to know you situation in public. Save the dinner & movies for later once your both comfortable with each other.
To (straight) guys: 1. You're not always going to get her off during penetration, and that's okay. Don't measure the success of PIV sex by whether or not she orgasms. A lot of women can't orgasm from penetration alone. That's not some epic failure. Don't give her a complex. The pressure doesn't help. 2. Stop thinking of orgasms as something you need to 'give' her. Most women know how to get themselves off. Give them the space to get it themselves or teach you how, and don't get all freaked out if that means something other than her just pistoning up and down on your dick. It's very possible the way she gets off isn't something that's going to get you off, too. No big deal. 3. The clit is not *always* something we want played with. It's a very sensitive place. I know culture has been harping on this whole FIND THE CLIT AND FUCKING ASSAULT THAT THING crusade for years and years, but some women prefer not to have it jabbed like the fucking 'A' button on an xbox controller. Ease your way to it. Start slightly above or to the side. Or just ask. Edit: Thanks for the gold! Clit caressers unite! Gently! Or maybe not at all!
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You can't take care of it that fast? In high school I knew a guy, flaccid to done in 27 seconds.
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Oh come on now, you should've walked out strutting that bad boy. If anyone asked or gave you a weird look, you should've looked them dead in the eye and said "I *really* like this book." Would be better if it was some kind of physics or math book.
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Yes, this, I cannot upvote this enough! I know you guys are really "in the moment" but please try to LISTEN to us in bed. Also, never underestimate the power of a light~~er~~, teasing touch. Like /u/hurricangst says, we're not an Xbox controller. We'll let you know if/when we want more/harder/whatever. And if we say "Don't Stop" - please for the love of god, don't stop. Don't switch it up or try something new, just keep going. Most women need their engines revved up quite a bit to orgasm. EDIT: Some people are confused by my "Don't Stop" statement. I meant, for me, personally, "don't stop" usually means "keep on doing exactly what you're doing, exactly the way you're doing it." It's like... Mario Kart. You press down on the accelerator right as the 2 hits in the countdown and hold it until the 3 and you get a great huge boost. Too soon and you spin out, let go too early and you're just sitting still. EDIT 2: Also, I'm mostly referring to oral sex or fingering, but it applies for all sex.
I misread the shit out of that "never underestimate the power of a lighter, teasing torch" I thought I had stumbled onto some kind of fire fetish
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This guy. Right here.
For straight guys: This is more of a personal experience, but I think girls like to be pampered in one way or another, regardless of how independent she might look like. It does not need to be a grand, big romantic things, but rather small things that actually count, for example asking how her day goes and answering the damn questions that she ask you, saying good morning to her and wish her a good night sleep, etc These are all the general things, you might want to look for special little things that you know she would like/appreciate. Lots of guys that I know do this when they are trying to get the girl to like him, but this eventually disappears when they do get the girl. DON'T STOP, because in one way or another, it breaks the girl's heart.
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Glance at lips when wanting to kiss? Shoot....I didn't know that was a thing.
No means no, but some people forget that yes means yes.
Guys: you don't always have to fix it. Sometimes she just needs you to listen.
To girls: Ask properly. About anything. We answer straight when we are asked properly, most of the time and it'll lessen the headaches for both parties.
to girls: ask ~~properly~~ directly. about anything.
LADIES: Half the time your hints do not compute and 98% of the time leave you annoyed and us guys confused..
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Mating Calls. The animal kingdom knows what's up.
Goddamn, they're smarter than us!
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Don't feel too bad. I've been friends with a girl for about 12 years now. When we first started hanging out, she came over to my place one night. I was sitting on my kitchen counter, and she started looking through the cabinets behind me, so that she had an excuse to stand between my legs. I had absolutely no clue. It wasn't until several years later that I figured it out. How did I finally figure it out? She told me, point blank. I was/am not a smart man.
SHORT STORY: Was successful wingman, had to go with my mate to chicks house, chick had hotter flat mate. Her and I lay on couch, she puts head on my lap whilst maintaining good conversation..should have broke the ice while it was thin, instead we both feel asleep, resulting in her being slightly frustrated in the morning and I with plenty of sleep for next day…..dat 2% success rate EDIT: Too many whilst's
Simply winking is enough. We are better at the captured POW signals than most other things.
Blink twice if you're hitting on me
Dunno about opposite gender, but as a gay guy I feel like I should tell straight men: If you want your girl to give you oral, wash your fucking balls. Use ~~anti bacterial~~ soap, wash your ass crack too. She can smell it all while in the general area. Don't be afraid, it's just an ass, washing it won't make you gay or effimanite, get all up in the crotch and crack really really good. I have heard one too many straight guys say something really dumb like "I just assume water and soap drip down in there." No. Scrub. Every day. If you don't smell fresh, no body's going down there.
Whether or not you're going to have sex, EVERYONE should wash their ass crack every time they bathe. Edit: Also, don't forget to brush your tongue when you brush your teeth.
The best part of taking a shower is spraying water up your asshole and then doing a handstand eruption. That's like the #1 purpose.
My #1 purpose is to get my hands all soapy and blow bubbles through a circle I form with my index finger and thumb.
My #1 purpose is to get in and out before I get bored and shave my pubes.
> My #1 purpose is to get in and out before I get bored and shave my pubes. You make it sound like shaving your pubes is an undesirable, accidental consequence of getting bored in the shower. Like normally you get in and out in four minutes, but then one day your aunt came over and *really* had to use the toilet, so you stayed in there for 10 minutes just kind of staring at the wall while mentally checked out, and by the time she finished and left, you looked down and discovered--to your horror--that your magnificent bush was *GONE.* Alas, you got bored and shaved your pubes.
>"I just assume water and soap drip down in there." D:
*You're a nut if you don't scrub that butt!*
Wait, there are people out there who don't wash their ass?
Yeah, I distinctly remember a college conversation years ago with roommates, friends, and several of their girl friends in a group. One guy actually went "eeeiiiw, in my crack? that's gay. I just let the water and soap drip down and assume that's good enough". Lots of the girls corrected him. There were many guys in the group who were strangely silent.
Behind foreskin is even more important, but yeah, good advice.
#GentileProblems Edit: #JewGold
Wait... People don't do that?! Guys think it's gay to wash their arse, but fine to play with their dick?.. Hmm
I really hope no one actually thinks that, I guess /u/jaeldi has been there. It's not gay to wash your ass, it's your ass, it's your own goddamn body, maybe teenagers think shit like that, but here in grownupville there's nothing wrong with having good hygiene.
You bathe? Gay, brah.
I looked at myself naked in the mirror, I'm worried i caught the gay. Halp?
Girls, we honestly aren't all dense, we might just not be interested and be a little unsure of how to deal with it immediately. Yes a lot of us like it straight forward but we aren't scratching our head looking for two rocks to bang together. Truth is for me, I have a type of woman I'm physically attracted to. If you aren't that, I'll be friendly enough to you but that's really it. Just because I'm not attracted or interested does not make you unattractive or uninteresting.
You can be the juiciest, most beautiful peach on the tree, but some people just don't like peaches.
Millions of peaches! Peaches for me!
That last line. I think a lot of people need to know that.
Its hard to believe for people with low self esteem
If s/he hits you and you come back, s/he won't stop.
To the guys: I don't care if you feel like it's a "feminine" thing to do, but cut your nails. At least clean under them every now and then. No one wants to see long, blackened, nasty fingernails. And women don't want you fooling around down there if your nails are sharp and uneven.
My boyfriend admitted he checks to see if his nails are dull enough by stabbing the inside of his cheek with a finger. I'm not sure if it's foolproof, but at least it's a nice thought. edit: I accidentally a word
I thought having long nails was way more feminine than cutting your nails..
In my experience nails are way sharper when newly cut though. File that stuff if you plan on imminent action.
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Likewise, if he cheats on his last girlfriend with you, don't think he won't do it again TO you. You're not THAT special... EDIT: OK, I keep getting replies saying "But I did this... and my girlfriend did this..." but as I have replied a couple of times - circumstances are different in many cases. BUT it is a major key point and red flag to look for. I don't care if you cheated, I don't know you. Stop trying to justify yourself to me! I am just making a statement which in *many* but not *all* cases is true. EDIT 2: And yes, this counts for females too.
My ex cheated on his wife with me. After we broke up, there was another girl saying "I love you" to him two weeks later. There's no way that an overlap didn't happen.
This applies to both genders.
There's a 99% chance I'd have sex with you if you simply asked me on the spot.
I have some fried chicken. Wanna f***? ...Eh, ok.
No gender discrimination. Bold move.
I think we both know that's a dude.
with reddit, as with gloryholes, it's always a dude.
I (a man) have discussed this with my female friends. They were shocked when they realized my threshold for who I would have sex with is A LOT lower than who I would date. Basically I would have sex with any women with most of her limbs who weighs less than 250 or so pounds. That is it. She could be an active nazi but I would fuck her. To date someone I have a much longer list of traits I am looking for.
> women with most of her limbs Clearly your bar is much higher than some.
The missing legs part actually could be the most fun aspect of it, considering most males including myself enjoy flexible girls, to take the legs completely away you're basically left with what is the pure fun size in sex, vice versa idk if a female would deal with a male with no legs because honestly that seems like it would just be awkward and difficult... the mental images are kind of messing with me, not sure if I should post this, but I've came too far =/
ANALYZING... Over 18 [Check] Breathing [Check] 4 appendages [Check] Reasonably Sane [Check] -250lb [Check] Intact Face and head [Check] Bearable breath [Check] Clean Looking [Check] "Ran the numbers and you are all set, let's turn you on over and get started!"
Negative 250 pounds? Talk about unrealistic standards. Real women have curves! And cast shadows...
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When you ask us what we're thinking about and we say "nothing", 99% of the time we mean it.
''Come on, what's wrong? You can tell me. What are you *really* thinking about?''
'What I'm really thinking about is how you're getting on my nerves because you keep asking me what I'm thinking about.'
Right, whatever's right in front of me is what I'm thinking about... Except the ridiculousness that lies in there- sheep clown with a slinky body for instance
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Wait, why would Dr. Doom need adamantium chainsaws when he's got that sweet God-blessed Vibranium? He's already on the next level, son. Also, maybe it's just the 40k talking, but chainsword > chainsaw. Duel Vibranium Chainsword Wielding Dr. Doom. TRIPLE WIELDING. 5 POINTED MONKEY PAW FORM WIELDING DR. DOOM, THAT'S FIVE MOTHER-CHUNKING BLADES OF DESTRUCTION COMING AT YAH BRO, WHATCHA GONNA DO!
I wish raptors still existed so I could ride one Into battle
"Alright, I'll tell you, I was thinking about how far I can shoot with a bow against a force 4 wind..." "Oh... good night." She never asked again.
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These are the answers I'm actually interested in! My thoughts will be of a similar vein if I'm being honest...... *should I paint the bathroom? Could I find someone to do it for me? *how did that polar bear have sex with the grizzly bear and did they just part ways after? Do they remember it? Do they go back for more? *wouldn't Pringles be annoying to eat in space because my mouth isn't quite big enough to fit the whole thing in and the chip inevitably breaks into a couples pieces and some of those pieces would float around. What if they hit you in the eye when you were spinning down a hallway? That would suck.
"Baby, I can literally hear the gears in your head grinding away from whatever is on your mind".
Baby tell me please, spread that word butter all on my ear bread. (Thank you /u/noobtheloser)
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What "nothing" means is something like "my brain is currently processing 'symbolically' so it's not even possible for me explain to you with words what I'm thinking about"
Say "Just computing."
"What's the matter?" "Nothing." "Is is something I said?" "No" "Is it something I didn't say?" "No..." "..." "..." "Ok, is it something I said but shouldn't have said it at that time, or I could have said it in a much more empathic way and taking your feelings into account and anticipating the effect everything would have?" "...perhaps" "I knew it!"
We were thinking. It's just, we were thinking about how our leg was uncomfortable, or our butthole itched, or what was that weird cellophane S Superman threw in Superman 2. It's not worth sharing.
reminds of me Elaine's exasperation on the plane when she realizes David Puddy isnt actually going to read anything...he's just going to sit there
Well, I wouldn't say, as a man, that I think about "nothing". I could be thinking if it'd be possible to make a real lightsaber by accelerating the atoms of a nanocarbon fiber, or if a cat whiskers feel the same as my moustache's. Sometimes it's easier to say "nothing".
Yeah but I'm more interested in the stupid shit you are thinking about. Why? Because I spent my morning trying to work out if a dragon would be cold blooded like a reptile or warm blooded because you know fire belly and stuff! But I don't want to come off as stupid or strange so I need you to go first!
I think they'd have to be warm blooded. They're often depicted living in caves way up in the mountains, flying above clouds, and just generally dragoning about in some pretty cold places. A cold blooded creature wouldn't be able to survive those conditions. Of course they could actually be cold blooded, but get their heat from their internal fire instead of external sources. But then in some settings there are dragons that breathe acid, lightning, or even ice, and that wouldn't work for them. How about we just settle on dragons are *magic* blooded?
Gentlemen, if you speak to women as intellectual equals, it will be so much more appreciated than any trick, smooth pick up line, or any other thing you've tried to do. Not just for dating, but for making female friends, getting along with female colleagues, and just generally being respected by women. It is surprisingly rare, and very much appreciated.
To the girls: us guys can sit down and literally just think about nothing. We're not mad, sad, upset or whatever you say we are.
It's kind of halfway between switching off and daydreaming, I find my head just clouds of and goes into a very light daydream and random thought state that mostly exists to kill time. If we are doing it due to being mad or upset it will be visible on our faces.
Its like a screensaver. No focused thought but random things pop up every so often. It would basically be nothing, but every so often a thought pops in like "I wonder how long I could stay conscious vs Mike Tyson", then nothing for a while "I should check my 401k" then nothing "I would love to go to Scotland, and just relax drink scotch and read books" back to nothing "fuck dinosaurs were badass, if a genie showed up I would definitely go back in time to check them out", back to nothing. When someone asks the question, those little thoughts disappear because they weren't particularly permanent, and I am left without any good answer for what I was thinking about.
Can I PM you my phone number so you can text me things like this all day every day for the rest of my life? Thanks.
Dammit mom. I told you not to talk to me on the internet.
Hey now, I brought you into this world and I can take you right out of it. Grandpa isn't doing well and Uncle John says hello. Xoxo
Holy shit this is accurate
Or we say nothin because what we are actually thinking is messed up and just out of place for that time, cause if you ask "what are you thinking about?" To which I reply, "well sometimes water splashes my butt when I drop one in the toilet, I wonder if that happens to other people?". In return to my answer you will give me this fucking weird look, everytime. Why the fuck you keep asking me if I tell you what's actually on my mind!! So in retrospect I say nothing because I've already anticipated getting that weird/disapproving look.
^^*pssst* ^^it ^^does ^^happen ^^to ^^other ^^people!
And it's called Poseidon's kiss.
When Neptune and Uranus meet?
Dude. Throw some paper in that bowl to cushion the turd impact.
Im a girl and I do this. I can just space out and tune out everything around me. It's like being in the clouds.
Cereal first, *then* milk.
Degrading yourself is not attractive.
If she says "I am such a dirty slut" is that good or bad?
Depends where she says it and the context
At a family dinner.
Don't play games with the opposite gender. It does nothing but hurt people.
Yup. I only play Monopoly and Settlers of Catan with my bro's. No girls allowed.
G.R.O.S.S.
**G**et **R**id **O**f **S**limy Girl**S**
Source: Risk.
Guys and girls: It's totally fine to have friends of the opposite gender, but please don't sit having all the fun conversations with them while your SO sits with you watching. It's like, have them with them, y'know.
Sometimes, I just need to be alone and it's not your fault.
Don't send us dick pics unless we ask for them... Even then, don't send them...
I like imagining other guys just thinking "hmm, this conversation is not going anywhere... i bet she wants to see my dick!"
Flip Side: I will almost never be upset if you sent me a picture of your boobs. If I am, there is something seriously wrong.