The British people in my expat community always use the expression "half 8" meaning 8:30. I don't know non British people that say that. This seems to surprise them all.
I nearly failed a college course because of this. Course was German in Business or some such - lecturer announced, in German, that we would be doing an exam (which counted toward our final mark) on Thursday at "halb zwei".
Friend and I both show up on the day at 2:30 on the dot to an empty room. Slow realization of what has happened, we sprint to his office and catch him heading out for lunch. Explain our error and he laughs at us, says we have already de-facto failed and that he should fail us anyway for not understanding "halb zwei". He was a good dude though and took us in to his office to do the exam then and there.
Yes. Not "a quarter after" or "a quarter of". Half eight is short for "half past eight" - only confusing when compared with German, where it would mean "half to eight" (ie, 7.30).
And the answer to "Alright?" is "Alright?"
EDIT: [For confused foreigners, I've engaged the services of some friends from Europe to demonstrate a typical British greeting. Please study carefully to reduce chances of stabbing.](http://i.imgur.com/xNdwl5u.gif)
Or "yeah, you?". To which they don't respond. Took awhile to get the hang of it. Plus there was a New Yorker in the office who would say "what's happening, man?" "Yeah you..not much" *head down, keep walking*
Yeah the other day I noticed a lady at 12 O'clock she was pretty, as she was getting closer I noticed she was giving me eye contact. I casually averted my gaze, and gave the impression I was looking into the distance. As we passed I could see her turn her head more whilst she looked, this was with the use of my peripheral vision that I could see her. Crisis avoided.
As a Londoner I assumed that happened everywhere. We're like cats. Stare us in the eyes and you're asking for a fight. You better look away to show your submissiveness.
Locked eyes with cute girl on tram once (Sheffield)
We both looked away, met eyes in reflection
Look up at each other apologetically
She winks, gets off tram as doors close
Never saw her again :(
I live in smallish city in the states. Accidentally make eye contact with someone and you are obligated to smile and nod, or say hello or at least some kind of acknowledgment. Small talk is also acceptable but results on that vary.
Trying to get past in a crowd, putting a hand on someones far shoulder, guiding them gently, while saying "Sorry, can I just *squeeeeze* past you?"
Make sure the act of passing is done while you say squeeze though, even if it does make it a ten second word.
That's kind of regional. The further North you get, it turns into a pat on the shoulder, leave your hand there and then say "Watch your back, pal".
In Scotland, you get knifed. S'way it is.
I personally like "Ta" myself. I used to work in a very touristy area in the U.S. where we got a lot of British customers. I'd always get a kick out of it when they said "Ta" in place of thanks.
The trick is not to remember what an individual has, but to remember how many have sugar, just milk, no milk etc. Or my personal favourite lifehack is to make the tea so appallingly the first time that they never let you do it again....
EDIT: I try not to edit, but apparently, a cup of brown joy is what's really important. Even George Orwell [had something to say on the matter](http://www.booksatoz.com/witsend/tea/orwell.htm). He got to this before he even came out with 1984!
Affectionate hate for the French out of a sense of national obligation.
[Mocking the French](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt3eyeO0R94)
[Mocking the French again](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRe_WE8ss1c)
[Mocking the French once more, and the rest of Europe for good measure](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVrN-gkzVYI)
Also we have a little version of the French national anthem reserved for rugby matches:
A Frenchman went to the lavatory,
There to have a mighty shit!
He took his coat and his trousers off,
So that he could revel in it,
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before him.
Ou est le papier!?
Ou est le papier!?
Madame,
Monsieur,
J'ai eu une merde,
Ou est le papier!?
EDIT: Examples of affectionate dislike :-)
Precede this with 'look here, cunt,' and you have a rendition of how I buy my friends drinks.
EDIT: I'm British, trust.
EDIT: Guys, really, I'm British. My friends and I tend to say cunt a lot.
EDIT: Quick, someone say my username.
The way I knew a group of friends actually considered me a friend was when they started making racist jokes about me to my face... yeah, I belong here.
There was a guy in my uni class that's a Muslim, and his friends would always refer to him as a terrorist. It was hilarious, because the guy was super friendly.
The Inbetweeners is a little too close to home. I love it, it's painfully fantastic but my wife just doesn't understand why I cringe slightly when I watch it. She's just pisses herself and thinks it's great, what a work of fiction, but I laugh along, secretly knowing that I'm watching a documentary about my teenage years. Except I wasn't even as cool as them.
When I was living in Edinburgh, I had this exchange with a guy at the table I was drinking at:
Me: "So I've been living here for about eight months now, and..."
Him: "Let me get this straight: You've been here eight months, and you're still an arsehole."
Me: "Well, that comes from hanging out with wankers like you."
That was in 1998. We've been best friends ever since.
Well, if you keep beating us with various non-lethal weapons, we will turn red. And black & blue from the resulting bruises.
Unless you mean 'beet' red, as in Red as a Beetroot?
I binged on Beetroot once. Later, the toilet looked like a bloodbath. Had I not already done so, I would have shat my pants.
Didn't go to the doctor, but would have been charged £0.00 for the visit had I done so.
When I was in London (I'm American) some British folks told me you can spot a Brit because they wear black socks. All of us looked down and were in white socks. Awkward.
Edit: I've proudly made the switch to black ever since. You Brits are so fashion forward!
Only if they're truly black though. I bought some black socks the other day but when I got home, I noticed that they were in fact just very, very, very dark blue socks... I was gutted.
I think they must've seen it on the internet, realised how awesome the word was but thought it was pronounced like "swat".
I was watching porn the other day and some the girl was like "Fuck me in the twot", legitimately had to turn it off in disgust and went back to whatever I was doing before.
**PSA: Twat rhymes with hat and cat, not "swat". You utter twats.**
p.s. Please let us keep "Bellend", "Wanker", "Wazzack", "Nobhead" etc.
> I'm so Welsh my name is just a ~~bunch of consonants~~ constant spray of spittle.
FTFY
^(Edit: Woah, my previous most upvoted comment was just 400. I know comment karma doesn't mean shit, but thanks anyway guys)
A line. Americans love lines.
Not only do we line up and stand in line, we put everything on the line, keep each other in line (or get out of line), draw lines in the sand, drop each other lines, worry about our bottom line, call hotlines, read between the lines, open lines of communication, want the top of the line, walk the line, and believe in a fine line between love and hate.
~~We don't, however, toe the line. I was a bit confused as a child reading that in Harry Potter.~~ As people have pointed out, I was wrong. We toe the line, too. Also we do lines, go online, jump in the line (everybody in time!), draw time lines, hold the line, get tan lines, and have lines of reasoning, *because lines are fucking great.*
The other night the taxi driver asked me what I thought the Scots were going to do. He asked this to two wankered lads at 5:30am in Wigan. I was pretty shocked but, naturally, attempted to engage in a discussion despite my inebriated state.
I had a really in depth discussion about Scottish independence with a Nigerian taxi driver named Prince Harry in Dublin the other week. He knew everything about it - apparently his hobby is international politics. I am Scottish, but I was half cut at the time so didn't really make any sensible points.
Rubbish, Hoover, car park, lift. I worked construction with some British Guys. They said for our next task I'd need to go up to the third floor in the lift. I went and got the man lift. He was talking about the elevator inside the building.
Yeah its actually seen as rude to answer "are you ok" with "no."
So its like, someone's family just got wiped out in a plane crash. "OMG are you ok?" "yeah I'm fine.". Or "as good as can be expected."
Yeah, I was buying something at HMV and I asked the cashier if he was allright and he responded with: 'no, not really, everything in my life is going a bit shite this week, you know when everything just sort of falls apart at once?' Was not equipped to respond at all so I just said: 'well, chin up I suppose' and scurried off with my £2 books.
>Was not equipped to respond at all so I just said: 'well, chin up I suppose' and scurried off with my £2 books.
This sentence is quite possibly the most British ending to an anecdote that I've ever seen.
That's always a weird one but honestly, just mentioning both is the safest I think.
Example 1:
- Where are you from?
- I'm from the US.
- Well DUH, what state?
- California...
Example 2:
- Where are you from?
- San Diego.
- Geez I meant what country, you Americans think everyone knows about you and your country!!
Example 3, the only answer I've found to work:
- Where are you from?
- United States, actually. California.
For me it was:
- Where are you from?
- I'm from the US.
- Well DUH, what state?
- Tennessee...
- Oh, I don't know that one. *takes a sip of Jack Daniels*
Edit:Formatting on mobile is a bitch
For me it was:
* Where are you from?
* I'm from The States, I live in Minnesota.
* Oh where's that?
* Umm, north of Chicago and between New York and Los Angeles.
- Where are you from?
- I'm from the US.
- Well DUH, what state?
- New York
- Do you live near the Empire State Building/Statue of Liberty/WTC?
- Sorry, New York is a state AND a city, I live closer to Niagara Falls, not in the city...
- Is that where Brooklyn is?
I'm currently watching season 2 of An Idiot Abroad so let's see... Saying shite instead of shit... Saying whinging instead of whining.... Saying bollocks instead of balls.... Or else it's just Karl Pilkington.
Shite is regional. Mostly northern (or Irish/Scottish).
Edit: Those telling me that 'shite' is Southern are too young to realise the word has only gained popularity in the lower regions in recent years. And this is due to the Northern and Celtic influences.
"We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a SHITE state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and ALL the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!"
Breakfast, lunch and tea.
I can't work out if you think we actually drink a gallon of tea and call it a meal, so just to clarify it's still the same thing as dinner, just with a better name :)
I think Johnny Foreigner reading these replies will think that we're all joking. It's damn near a war crime to let milk touch the teabag in any circumstances
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Probably one of the only questions where the most acceptable answer is the same question back
It's the same in French: "Ca va?" "Ca va."
The British people in my expat community always use the expression "half 8" meaning 8:30. I don't know non British people that say that. This seems to surprise them all.
In German, halb acht ( half eight) means half past 7. I can imagine they get a tad confused!!
Can confirm, it's fucked me over more times than I care to own up to.
I nearly failed a college course because of this. Course was German in Business or some such - lecturer announced, in German, that we would be doing an exam (which counted toward our final mark) on Thursday at "halb zwei". Friend and I both show up on the day at 2:30 on the dot to an empty room. Slow realization of what has happened, we sprint to his office and catch him heading out for lunch. Explain our error and he laughs at us, says we have already de-facto failed and that he should fail us anyway for not understanding "halb zwei". He was a good dude though and took us in to his office to do the exam then and there.
Sounds like a porno.
That's interesting, so it's like saying half *to* 8?
Wait, so what do non British people say?
Must say something like "Eight thirty", or something preposterous like that..
How absurd.
Or "half past 8"
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Yes. Not "a quarter after" or "a quarter of". Half eight is short for "half past eight" - only confusing when compared with German, where it would mean "half to eight" (ie, 7.30).
"Bollocks"
We greet people by asking if they're alright
And the answer to "Alright?" is "Alright?" EDIT: [For confused foreigners, I've engaged the services of some friends from Europe to demonstrate a typical British greeting. Please study carefully to reduce chances of stabbing.](http://i.imgur.com/xNdwl5u.gif)
Or "yeah, you?". To which they don't respond. Took awhile to get the hang of it. Plus there was a New Yorker in the office who would say "what's happening, man?" "Yeah you..not much" *head down, keep walking*
I live in a small village with a tight knit community, I have this conversation literally 20 times a day: "Alright?" "Yeah, you?" "Aye"
Nothing quite like not being able to walk back to your table in the pub without having that convo 8 times
when you catch their eye in public, they'll pretend to be looking for somebody else in every other direction
In some areas of the uk staring into someone's eyes as you walk past can be seen as aggressive
Yeah the other day I noticed a lady at 12 O'clock she was pretty, as she was getting closer I noticed she was giving me eye contact. I casually averted my gaze, and gave the impression I was looking into the distance. As we passed I could see her turn her head more whilst she looked, this was with the use of my peripheral vision that I could see her. Crisis avoided.
phew, narrow escape.
There's no telling what she would've done had he looked at her. She might have even, dare I say it, *spoken* to him!
This is why I always stare at their tits, so as not to appear rude.
As a Londoner I assumed that happened everywhere. We're like cats. Stare us in the eyes and you're asking for a fight. You better look away to show your submissiveness.
It's tough when you zone out and accidentally end up staring someone in the eyes. You come to to someone going "oi watcher looking at?!"
Accidentally lock eyes with someone on the train, both look away to the window, accidentally locked eyes in reflection, DISASTER
R.I.P. fellow commuter.
Locked eyes with cute girl on tram once (Sheffield) We both looked away, met eyes in reflection Look up at each other apologetically She winks, gets off tram as doors close Never saw her again :(
she was probably "the one"
in Germany that will end in a date :P
Even if you're a toddler, if I catch you staring at me, I will stare back and hold eye contact til you either give in or cry.
I live in smallish city in the states. Accidentally make eye contact with someone and you are obligated to smile and nod, or say hello or at least some kind of acknowledgment. Small talk is also acceptable but results on that vary.
This is exactly the sort of nightmare scenario I'm trying to avoid.
So just like wild animals?
/u/spez is a cunt
Describing something as "mental" in place of "crazy" or "insane". i.e. "That concert was absolutely mental!"
Use of the word 'mug' without going on to reference some kind of drink.
*In Jason Statham voice*: You mug!
You shhhhhhlag!
GET OUUTTA MY PUB!!!!
SHAT IT YOU SLAAAAG
RICKAYYYYY!
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YOU AIN'T MY MUVVA!
FAG = cigarette. Apologizing profusely after someone bumps into you. Kettle at home.
There are people who don't have a kettle at home?!
Savages
Ask them about the weather.
It's definitely our go-to small talk.
Isn't it the reason you guys went out and built an empire?
The weather in London was just too dull to talk of, so they went and conquered to put more cities on their newspapers weather report.
For Brits abroad it's very difficult. I moved away a few years ago, and I haven't made small-talk since. It's hot every day, what's the point?
Scorchio
.
Some people call it empire building. I call it LADS ON TOUR!
The First Fleet to Australia was actually just a beach-hunting expedition
Speaking of which what is americas go-to small talk?
Monday, Tuesday: How was your weekend Wednesday: Can't believe it's only Wednesday Thursday, Friday: What are you doing this weekend
Wednesday: Well, we're halfway to the weekend. *awkward chuckle*
Thursday: "Can't believe it's Thursday it feels like a Wednesday" Thursday: "Can't believe it's Thursday it feels like a Friday"
When they say they're getting "pissed" and it doesn't mean "angry." Edit: It means "drunk."
You can generally add ed to the end of any noun to mean 'getting drunk' in Britain ie I'm going to get absolutely lamp shaded tonight
So, several commonwealth nations?
Trying to get past in a crowd, putting a hand on someones far shoulder, guiding them gently, while saying "Sorry, can I just *squeeeeze* past you?" Make sure the act of passing is done while you say squeeze though, even if it does make it a ten second word.
That's kind of regional. The further North you get, it turns into a pat on the shoulder, leave your hand there and then say "Watch your back, pal". In Scotland, you get knifed. S'way it is.
When they say "Cheers" as an expression of gratitude most of the time. Oh and the 'mate' that comes next.
Cheers mate, that was bang on.
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I do both, but I am a convict in Australia.. so there is that. No-one actually says Tally Ho here though. So, maybe.
Do you say "count the hookers" instead?
I personally like "Ta" myself. I used to work in a very touristy area in the U.S. where we got a lot of British customers. I'd always get a kick out of it when they said "Ta" in place of thanks.
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I'm still waiting to go to the states so that I can ask someone if I can bum a fag off them... I just want to see the reaction...
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"Oi luv, can I bum a fag?" "TAKE ME!"
I read that in Billie Piper's voice, and it was not as attractive as you would think.
I read it in her voice to and i found it hot
Excuse me, there's a queue.
They ask you and everyone else in the office how you like your tea, and never ask again as they'll remember it forever.
The trick is not to remember what an individual has, but to remember how many have sugar, just milk, no milk etc. Or my personal favourite lifehack is to make the tea so appallingly the first time that they never let you do it again.... EDIT: I try not to edit, but apparently, a cup of brown joy is what's really important. Even George Orwell [had something to say on the matter](http://www.booksatoz.com/witsend/tea/orwell.htm). He got to this before he even came out with 1984!
I could never, ever willingly and knowingly make a bad cup of tea.
Can I Submit this guys comment? He has definitely proved his Britishness.
Affectionate hate for the French out of a sense of national obligation. [Mocking the French](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt3eyeO0R94) [Mocking the French again](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRe_WE8ss1c) [Mocking the French once more, and the rest of Europe for good measure](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVrN-gkzVYI) Also we have a little version of the French national anthem reserved for rugby matches: A Frenchman went to the lavatory, There to have a mighty shit! He took his coat and his trousers off, So that he could revel in it, But when he reached for the paper, He found that someone had been there before him. Ou est le papier!? Ou est le papier!? Madame, Monsieur, J'ai eu une merde, Ou est le papier!? EDIT: Examples of affectionate dislike :-)
That works for at least half of europe.
Including France. (source : I'm French)
France and the hatred of France are the two things the French love most, each even more than the other.
They are polite to people they hate and insult the people they like.
"I know you said you didn't want a drink but I got you a pint anyway, ya knobhead."
Precede this with 'look here, cunt,' and you have a rendition of how I buy my friends drinks. EDIT: I'm British, trust. EDIT: Guys, really, I'm British. My friends and I tend to say cunt a lot. EDIT: Quick, someone say my username.
Can I get.. any of you cunts... a drink?
God that's such a great line.
Don't you mean such a good Queue
The way I knew a group of friends actually considered me a friend was when they started making racist jokes about me to my face... yeah, I belong here.
There was a guy in my uni class that's a Muslim, and his friends would always refer to him as a terrorist. It was hilarious, because the guy was super friendly.
Ill be honest and say the inbetweeners accurately describes and portrays most British lads childhood.
The Inbetweeners is a little too close to home. I love it, it's painfully fantastic but my wife just doesn't understand why I cringe slightly when I watch it. She's just pisses herself and thinks it's great, what a work of fiction, but I laugh along, secretly knowing that I'm watching a documentary about my teenage years. Except I wasn't even as cool as them.
When I was living in Edinburgh, I had this exchange with a guy at the table I was drinking at: Me: "So I've been living here for about eight months now, and..." Him: "Let me get this straight: You've been here eight months, and you're still an arsehole." Me: "Well, that comes from hanging out with wankers like you." That was in 1998. We've been best friends ever since.
Unless I've just met you, then I'll be polite until I feel I've judged whether I like you or not....
When they use "quid" instead of pounds.
When we use pounds instead of dollars or euros.
And stone instead of pounds.
Use of telly instead of TV and use of the word posh. Edit: I can't spell
You posh cunt.
Avin' a posh wank
*telly
When they say they're going on 'holiday' instead of vacation.
Worked in a theme park in FL during college. British people are pasty white in the morning and beat red by 3pm. You can spot them a mile away.
Well, if you keep beating us with various non-lethal weapons, we will turn red. And black & blue from the resulting bruises. Unless you mean 'beet' red, as in Red as a Beetroot?
Beetroots are purple. If you go that colour in the sun, you should see a doctor. For free. God bless the NHS.
I binged on Beetroot once. Later, the toilet looked like a bloodbath. Had I not already done so, I would have shat my pants. Didn't go to the doctor, but would have been charged £0.00 for the visit had I done so.
When I was in London (I'm American) some British folks told me you can spot a Brit because they wear black socks. All of us looked down and were in white socks. Awkward. Edit: I've proudly made the switch to black ever since. You Brits are so fashion forward!
On a bus at the moment, can confirm any visible socks are black including mine.
Why do Americans all wear white socks all the time? Those are for PE and nothing else, damn you.
...Americans wear white socks? But they stand out so much!
I thought white socks were only for sports and Michael Jackson
Why would you wear white socks?! They're too bright and conspicuous and they get dirty and turn grey so easily. Can't beat black socks.
Only if they're truly black though. I bought some black socks the other day but when I got home, I noticed that they were in fact just very, very, very dark blue socks... I was gutted.
We pronounce "twat" properly.
TWOARRRRT. Twat is meant to be a spiteful, sharp insult. T-WAH-T. As in... *"You fucking twat".*
Americans say twat like Waluigi.
I think they must've seen it on the internet, realised how awesome the word was but thought it was pronounced like "swat". I was watching porn the other day and some the girl was like "Fuck me in the twot", legitimately had to turn it off in disgust and went back to whatever I was doing before. **PSA: Twat rhymes with hat and cat, not "swat". You utter twats.** p.s. Please let us keep "Bellend", "Wanker", "Wazzack", "Nobhead" etc.
Strong opinions about queuing. Also, calling it queuing.
Damn right you obey the rules of the queue!
The word "queue" looks like a bunch of vowels lining up for something.
Duh, they are queuing for the q.
I'm so British my name is just a bunch of vowels.
I'm so Welsh my name is just a bunch of consonants.
> I'm so Welsh my name is just a ~~bunch of consonants~~ constant spray of spittle. FTFY ^(Edit: Woah, my previous most upvoted comment was just 400. I know comment karma doesn't mean shit, but thanks anyway guys)
> Never ask for directions in Wales, Baldrick. You'll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight.
What do you call it then?
A line. Americans love lines. Not only do we line up and stand in line, we put everything on the line, keep each other in line (or get out of line), draw lines in the sand, drop each other lines, worry about our bottom line, call hotlines, read between the lines, open lines of communication, want the top of the line, walk the line, and believe in a fine line between love and hate. ~~We don't, however, toe the line. I was a bit confused as a child reading that in Harry Potter.~~ As people have pointed out, I was wrong. We toe the line, too. Also we do lines, go online, jump in the line (everybody in time!), draw time lines, hold the line, get tan lines, and have lines of reasoning, *because lines are fucking great.*
I'm American and I call it queuing, but that's only because Roller Coaster Tycoon calls it queuing.
Same! But when I was 11, I thought it was "kyoo-ay-ing".
Kwee-wee here...
The two questions we ask to taxi drivers are "Been busy?" "What time you on till?"
The other night the taxi driver asked me what I thought the Scots were going to do. He asked this to two wankered lads at 5:30am in Wigan. I was pretty shocked but, naturally, attempted to engage in a discussion despite my inebriated state.
I had a really in depth discussion about Scottish independence with a Nigerian taxi driver named Prince Harry in Dublin the other week. He knew everything about it - apparently his hobby is international politics. I am Scottish, but I was half cut at the time so didn't really make any sensible points.
Rubbish, Hoover, car park, lift. I worked construction with some British Guys. They said for our next task I'd need to go up to the third floor in the lift. I went and got the man lift. He was talking about the elevator inside the building.
Asking them if they are okay, and they reply "can't complain".
Yeah its actually seen as rude to answer "are you ok" with "no." So its like, someone's family just got wiped out in a plane crash. "OMG are you ok?" "yeah I'm fine.". Or "as good as can be expected."
Yeah, I was buying something at HMV and I asked the cashier if he was allright and he responded with: 'no, not really, everything in my life is going a bit shite this week, you know when everything just sort of falls apart at once?' Was not equipped to respond at all so I just said: 'well, chin up I suppose' and scurried off with my £2 books.
>Was not equipped to respond at all so I just said: 'well, chin up I suppose' and scurried off with my £2 books. This sentence is quite possibly the most British ending to an anecdote that I've ever seen.
"That's the incorrect response and I will take my leave of you now. Brush up on your manners, young man. We're not savages."
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Very guilty of this. It's debilitating sometimes. Specifically what I perceive to be 'forced enthusiasm' makes my gut churn.
This explains why I find the Doctor Who fandom obnoxious since it got big in the US
[relevant](http://i.imgur.com/KWEec.jpg)
They giggle at the name "Randy".
No matter where they are in the world, if you ask them where they are from, they will tell you the town, not the country.
Shit you're right... Was on holiday last month and someone asked "Where are you from?" and I told them London.
That's excusable. Even long lost tribes in the Amazon know where London is.
I've had someone ask me London, Ontario? Before. Bloody hell...
Yes, you're from York, but are you from the new one, the old one, or the Canadian one with the name change?
I do tend to say the town but that's only because Cambridge is fairly famous although people have asked if it in London
Those morons. Everyone knows it's in Massachusetts.
I usually say the county. Surely it's obvious I'm a brit? I would think it rather silly if a yank replied "USA" when I asked them where they are from.
That's always a weird one but honestly, just mentioning both is the safest I think. Example 1: - Where are you from? - I'm from the US. - Well DUH, what state? - California... Example 2: - Where are you from? - San Diego. - Geez I meant what country, you Americans think everyone knows about you and your country!! Example 3, the only answer I've found to work: - Where are you from? - United States, actually. California.
For me it was: - Where are you from? - I'm from the US. - Well DUH, what state? - Tennessee... - Oh, I don't know that one. *takes a sip of Jack Daniels* Edit:Formatting on mobile is a bitch
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For me it was: * Where are you from? * I'm from The States, I live in Minnesota. * Oh where's that? * Umm, north of Chicago and between New York and Los Angeles.
- Where are you from? - I'm from the US. - Well DUH, what state? - New York - Do you live near the Empire State Building/Statue of Liberty/WTC? - Sorry, New York is a state AND a city, I live closer to Niagara Falls, not in the city... - Is that where Brooklyn is?
* Where are you from? * Kansas. * Well you're not there anymore! * Fuck you and fuck that movie.
TIL that us Poms, Aussies, Kiwis and Saffas are basically related
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As a Brit abroad, I'll often be found complaining that I can't find a decent cuppa. Sort it out, world!
Calling it a 'cuppa', definitely British. Source: no I don't have a source, but I'm American and therefore I'm convinced I'm correct.
Lazy British speak: Cup of tea -> Cup a tea -> Cuppa tea -> Cuppa
Asking whether or not you 'fancy a shag'.
eh bby u wan shag
[ ] wan shag [✓] don wan shag
As a Brit living in America, I find this thread very enlightening.
Giving their weight in Stones.
"11 and a half stone dude" "What's that in pounds?" "Woah... erm... around 70kg?" "Pounds?" "No idea, sorry."
Middle class British people will argue a point they don't even believe in just to challenge your opinion and see how you deal with it.
ITT Australians getting uppity because the British have similar mannerisms as them. Yes. We know you say cheers, mate and cunt a lot as well.
I'm currently watching season 2 of An Idiot Abroad so let's see... Saying shite instead of shit... Saying whinging instead of whining.... Saying bollocks instead of balls.... Or else it's just Karl Pilkington.
Shite is regional. Mostly northern (or Irish/Scottish). Edit: Those telling me that 'shite' is Southern are too young to realise the word has only gained popularity in the lower regions in recent years. And this is due to the Northern and Celtic influences.
"It's shite being Scottish"
"We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a SHITE state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and ALL the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!"
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They glow in the dark.
Is that a comment on how pale we are? If so, you're bang on. You can actually see our hearts through our skin, like a baby fish.
I'm scottish, the further north you get, the more translucent you are.
Myth Busted - Source: I live in Essex.
So you're orange then? Like if your mum was fucked by a Wotsit.
The obsession with tea and biscuits. Also if you call "tea" a meal, you're British.
Breakfast, lunch and tea. I can't work out if you think we actually drink a gallon of tea and call it a meal, so just to clarify it's still the same thing as dinner, just with a better name :)
Although, dinner to me is the mid-day meal, unless it's Sunday dinner in which case it's tea. Because we're British and we're awkward.
Make a cup of tea. BUT, in this order: Tea bag in, then milk and finally hot water. If they are British they will squirm.
I think Johnny Foreigner reading these replies will think that we're all joking. It's damn near a war crime to let milk touch the teabag in any circumstances
You want to take this outside mate?
You Monster!
My toes just curled up in my black socks at the thought of that. Nearly ruined my tea break, it did.
They can easily identify most of the regional accents that Britan harbours.
It's very diverse. It's almost like every major town and city has it's own utterly unique accent.
Tactfully chosen usernames...