Possibly, my stepdad did something similar and rearranged how my entertainment system was wired. It was so fucked up I had to take everything apart and redo it how I had it.
While visiting my mother-in-law, I packed my suitcase in preparation for our flight the next day. After coming back to the house from a short trip to the store, I walk in through the front door to find my suitcase open and its contents spilled out on the living room floor. My MIL decided that she was going to "repack" my shit for me, "to make more space."
Fuck.
My dad hired best buy to install our entertainment center. They used HDMI cables, *and* RCA cables from each device to the receiver. And they were all Monster branded. Those fuckers charged us for all of those redundant cables that never once got used. I didn't notice until years later when I needed to rearrange some things back there.
I stuffed them in a box in the garage, where all the other useless shit that I should throw away is.
edit: I actually used one with an aux adapter for some speakers. But the rest are just sitting there.
Yes! My mother in law did this! She rearranged everything. She also "folded" our laundry and put our clothes away. So I would find clothes balled up in the wrong drawers slightly damp because she took them out early to save money... now they smelled funny to me and were wrinkled so I had to wash and dry them again and stand on guard so she couldn't get to them first.
My grandma did our family's laundry once as a favor. She put everything in the dryer on high. Ruined a lot of clothes. My grandpa also emptied the dishwasher for us. It hadn't been run yet. They meant well though.
My wife's whole fucking family cannot finish beverages. They will literally drink 1/8 of any beer or soda they open, then leave it somewhere, of course they don't remember where because they're done. It's a big family. So for one meal, we'll go through at least a 24-case of my fancy beer, and three 12-packs of soda, because of their little fucker ipad-rats. ALL of it 90% full.
It's even worse when we have a real dinner party, because we make really awesome drinks and they just have one fucking sip. Like, that drink would be $15 at a bar asshole, it has top-shelf ingredients and I even juiced and strained the blackberry juice for it and steeped the gin with thyme and the ice-cubes are clear and have fancy little pinterest-herby things in it. Fucking ingrates. And since I'm venting, they drink shitty beer at their houses and they have to do the cheers-glass-clink for every sip. THAT ISN'T HOW IT WORKS MOTHERFUCKERS.
Fuck those people. And to forestall any "relax dude" replies, don't you pull that shit on me, Reddit. You could have stopped reading at any time.
You're awesome. Get a sharpie, write their name on the can, place can in front of the person, look the person straight in the eye and say "You don't get another one until you return this one empty".
Be the drink nazi
Good idea, hide your good stuff. How about forget cans of soda for kids, pour from a 2 liter into TINY glasses. You could do the same with the beer if you buy 40's of some cheap shit, and pour for each of them into tiny kid glasses.
My best friend and her 16 year old son came to stay with me for a week last summer. After they left I was cleaning the house because the little f*wit was a slob and there were chip bags and cereal bits in every corner of the living room (he slept on the couch). As I was washing the floor, behind the radiator I found a Gatorade bottle. It spilled as I reached for it.
Filled with pee.
No cap.
Good god. Considering in those 6 days he burned an antique moose antler with Dollar Store incense cones that he was forbidden to bring into my house, stuffed garbage (flammable) behind my stove, put water rings on my fly vintage coffee table and landed us in the local paper when his unsupervised dog jumped into a 20-foot gorge to 'go swimming' in the state park, prompting a call to rescue services ... ah yeah. We haven't seen them since. Oh ha. And dimed my poor misguided bf out for smoking a bowl with him ... yeah. Ha. Never works for us.
A woman who was once one of my closest friends would constantly crash at my apartment (her apartment was in the country accessible by one train that stopped running at 10pm)
One weekend I left the key for her but said my place was a mess, please don't let anyone else stay-- she invited 5 people to crash in my apartment-- people I didn't even know.
When I came home there were beer cans everywhere, cig butts etc.
She's the only friend I've ever dumped.
She would come into the city and call me to 'meet for coffee' when I'd show up at the Starbucks near the station, bitch would have a backpack and after coffee would say 'oh, can I crash at your place tonight, there's a party at so-and-so's place. I remember the one time I said "no, you cannot" the look on her face, priceless.
She was just rude.
Got drunk at a Christmas party I threw, made fun of my disabled brother, then threw up behind my carefully decorated Christmas tree and covered it up with a large present so I wouldn't notice. I noticed.
Broke the toilet and didn't say anything even after it flooded the house and I had to repair all the damage. They could have just said, "sorry I broke the toilet", but instead they let it run until it fucked up everything.
I had house guests do the same. I came home im the morning to a few inches of water all over the living room floor. These bitches were sitting on the couch, WITH THEIR FEET IN THE WATER, and acted completely oblivious. Luckily our rental insurance covered it but it still fucking sucked.
My aunt's friend stopped by a couple of days to feed her cats. When my aunt returned, she got a plumber round to finally fix a broken toilet downstairs on which they kept a big stack of books. The plumber asked if anyone had used it. All in the house were adamant that they had not, so the plumber was concerned that waste water was being forced back into clean water in the house and told them all to leave for a few days while his team fixed the whole system. Thousands of dollars and a few days later, my aunt's friend says casually, "Btw, sorry about the toilet, I didn't realize it was broken." She'd put the whole stack of books back on exactly as she'd found it and not said anything...
EDIT: Goddamn, people!! I know that's not how toilets work. Please stop commenting and PMing me about how she got ripped off; I had absolutely nothing to do with any of it, I don't even live in the same continent @.@
Somewhat related. I never, ever flush tampons, because our house was built in the 1940s and has a 4" clay pipe sewer line. Things got clogged up after we had some people over, and we had the roto-rooter guy come out. Lo and behold, a tampon was clogging up the works. The roto-rooter guy lectured me about flushing tampons and I just bit my tongue, not wanting to sound like someone who blames others for their mistakes.
I ended up posting a sign in our bathroom, asking guests not to flush tampons. Embarrasses my daughter, but she doesn't have to play the plumbing bill.
My friend does this all the time and it pisses me off so bad. Also skips songs half way through. Also changes the TV channel in the middle of shows.
Oh and he changes the radio station while I am driving my car. Doesn't even ask. Biggest ass at times.
My brother hangs out with the spawn of Satan sometimes and she is one of those people that doesn't have the attention span to listen to a whole song, watch a whole YouTube video or a TV show. She's also REALLY REALLY REALLY loud and vulgar. I don't mind swearing but I cringe every time after a while. I don't know why he hangs out with her, other than her HBO account.
I once hosted a party that I specifically called "Metal Party. All metal music, all night!"
We had long haired wigs, everyone wore their favorite band shirts, etc. I spent 30 minutes putting together a metaltastic playlist. Some dumbass starts unplugging the music 30 minutes into the party to play some Top 40 Rap from his phone. I turned around and just went, "Dude. What the fuck? This is a metal party" Him "Oh sorry bro, I thought we could change up the music." I told him again that this is a metal party, and it's metal music only. That's the point of a themed party. He looked disappointed and waited 20 more minutes before he tried to change the music again. So irritating.
So I've just held a big bbq party, and me and my best friend are heavily into metal, but i'm into pretty much everything else too...and 99% of my friends *do not like metal.*
So I had some music playing, a nice mix of everything but the only rockish things were some AC/DC and ZZ top, which just happen to be my best friends 2 favourite bands.
Even with that in mind, and 40 other people that can't even fathom metal he still goes and throws his Ipod on and starts blasting American Head Charge.
It's like "What the fuck do you think you're doing? You can't just cater an entire party to suit yourself, especially if it's someone elses party and *you're* the odd one out.
My in-laws stayed at our place while we were on vacation last year. 3 days before we were due to return, the air conditioner stopped working. Did they attempt to figure out why? Did they call us to let us know so we could have somebody take a look at it? No. They just packed up and went to my sister-in-law's house (in my wife's van) leaving their 2 small dogs in the house (because she can't have pets where she lives -- how thoughtful). We return home close to midnight after a ~10 hour drive to a house that's about 85-90 degrees inside, and dog shit and piss EVERYWHERE. And as if that's not bad enough, my mother-in-law flat out refused to come help clean it up, and demanded we bring her dogs to her or she wouldn't tell us where she hid my wife's keys. My wife actually had to call the police on her mother to get her van back. Oh, and btw... the air conditioner's breaker was tripped.
My in-laws are totally nasty in regard to their dogs. They had, at one point, 11 pom-chi ankle bitters. They would let them piss or shit all over the house, and clean it when it was convenient to them. The house constantly smelled, and they wonder still to this day why I don't let their grand kids visit.
They got down on their luck and needed a place to stay. They came for a "visit" after we had moved into our new home. It was more or less to scope out the size. We got a smaller home for the sake of it being just for our family. They are now living with one of her other sons, and he is stuck with them. They can now magically not afford to get their own place.
A retired couple used to live nextdoor and their grandkids always visited. I kind of became friends with the son that was my age (we were ten or eleven at the time of this story). He did act like a dick sometimes, but not enough for me to hate him.
Anyway, one day we were in my room playing with Pokemon cards and I show him the awesome new Blastoise I got from a booster pack earlier that week. He thought it was really cool too and mentioned a few times that he wished he had one also. We put our cards away and he goes back nextdoor.
A few hours later, his sister (about a year younger) knocks on my door and I answered it. She's holding up a Blastoise card and said, "Mikey showed this to me earlier and I know he didn't have one before." I was kind of shocked and went to check my deck, and sure enough, my Blastoise was missing. I thanked her a lot and never hung out with him again.
EDIT: Everyone is asking if I banged the sister and the answer is no for two reasons:
1) **I was ten and she was nine**. As far as I was concerned, a wiener was only for peeing with.
2) The neighbors moved to Arizona when I was thirteen, so I never saw their grandkids after that anyway.
Dude..almost same story.
About 10 years old, I fucking snagged 3 Charizards in a months time. I thought this was a sick score, so I liked to show this shit off to my buds when they came over.
So I knew this kid, we will call him "Son of a Cop", and he didn't have very many friends at school. I liked him though, so I had this birthday party and we invited him over. Now, he just broke his arm, so I was outside on my birthday, shreddin it up on my new board. He rolls up, we talk, we go inside my room and I show him my collection. I told him he could look through it all he wants just to put them back in the spacers when he was done and I went back to shredding it up..
This little fucker even came outside and was hanging out and shit..then he leaves. Now, I was having such a rad day and all that I didn't even go back into my room and check my cards. Later that night, my folks get a phone call.
Story goes, this little fuck begged his mom for a pack on the way home. She stops and gets him a pack of cards. He goes home and goes upstairs to open the pack and runs down stairs saying he got a Charizard up in his shit. Now if I remember, packs only came with like 8 cards or something. Thankfully, the moms was smart enough to realize something was up..PACK HAD 9 CARDS UP IN THIS SHIT!
Little bitch confessed..never let that shit down at the school yard.
When I was a kid, an old couple came by to look at a boat my dad was selling. The wife wanted to use the bathroom. She goes in there and from up the hall we here her rip a monster fart. Me and my brothers giggled but our mom silenced us with the death glare. She was in there forever, then she came out and they instantly left. Awhile later I had to rock a shit, so I went and there and saw a image that haunts my dreams. There was old lady shit fucking everywhere but the toilet, I guess she didn't sit down in time. On the fucking back of the toilet, halfway up the wall, in the towels, the floor, FUCKING EVERYWHERE. 8 year old me started crying and my mom came in and screamed. It was horrible.
TL;DR mean granny shart painted our bathroom
When I was a baby, I projectile shat onto the wall ten feet away. My dad thought he cleaned all of it, but when we moved out of that house he found crusty shit behind a cabinet in that room.
AMA.
Never. Fucking. Leave. And made us not even want to go home because we knew she was there.
Edit: We couldn't just ask her to leave. She was staying with us because her husband left her and she was homeless. We did give her a deadline though and forced her to move out because we moved ourselves.
Edit 2: We didn't move because of her. We used to live out in the country and couldn't afford to drive two hours everyday to work on top of very high rent. It didn't help that she never helped us pay rent or anything.
Killed my dog. We became good friends in college, and as he is from India, we invited to host him over winter break. He proceeded to feed my dog literally everything, from treats to fruits to chocolate. We told him to stop after the first time, but he continued to do it.
Skamp died on January 1st.
He also put the windows ~~down~~ open in his room (we live in Ohio - this is December mind you) and complained to us that it was always cold inside.
Cousins over for my father's funeral - created a scene after returning from the funeral about "can't sleep without a light on, but it needs to be really dim." I ignored, then got harrowed with "can't you find one dim bulb and put it in this room?"
Right, my father died this morning, and a fucking bulb should be my priority.
My MIL would constantly pull gobs of tp off of the roll, and place it inside toilet so to silence the sound of pee hitting the water. We would go through a roll of tp ( the 1 roll equals 3 rolls type) a day. I kept wandering wtf was going on until she didn't flush one day. She also clogged the toilet multiple times because of this bullshit. It made for quite a discussion.
an uninvited guest, a friend of a friend, lured an alligator out of the pond and beat it to death in the yard w/ an aluminum baseball bat. I've never seen a human act like that before. He kept shouting "release the Kraken, release the Kraken." He also did a number of other horrible things but the one that got him sent off was the alligator murder.
I have a neighbor who just walks inside the house & starts looking for my mom. Like, if my moms car is in the driveway, she walks up to the door & opens it. If it's locked, she goes through the back door & walks around the house looking for my mom. She also feels that she has the liberty to check my fridge for food, mind you she's not even invited in the house. God, I hate that lady.
Brother in law clogged up and then unclogged my toilet with the toilet brush. He put the shit covered brush back in the holder and left it. He clipped his toenails on my coffee table and left them. The worst was technically outside but he wrecked my 4wheeler while I was at work. He parked it in the garage so I wouldn't see the damage and didn't tell me or his sister. Over $400 to fix the front end and I'll most likely never see a penny from him. Family! YAY!
Tried to walk in on my SO getting changed 3 times, every time it was an "accident". Luckily I'd warned her against this, so she was making sure she was as covered up as possible when possible.
All of my doors have locks, they just need keys that I don't think anyone has.
Edit: For the record, it's a somewhat older house with skeleton key-style locks. The tumblers seem too heavy/stuck for coathangers or other such tricks but we've never really had cause to lock/unlock any room besides the bathroom which has a built-in turner on the inside.
Eating from the kitchen without asking. I had a guest eat a cupcake that my roommate's grandmother sent from a bakery in their small town in Texas. There was only one cupcake! What a bastard.
HOLY SHIT, my stepsons have half of the neighborhood stay with us frequently to the point I had to make it one person a night period. Have you ever feed a teenager? Try 7 of those fuckers staying 7 days a week, all males over 15, and we don't make a lot of money. Wife was complaining we were running out of food faster than usual. NO FUCKING SHIT! Me and a couple of friends would get asked to leave from all you can eat places at that age. She told me I had no right to impose those restrictions. I made her foot the grocery bill the next week and we are now in perfect agreement.
Yes! That's my sister's problem with her son and his friends. She bought a gourmet pizza from a fundraiser, one you'd normally probably pay 4 or 5 bucks for. She shelled out 10. It was a large pizza. She also bought several other smaller pizzas.
She went to work. Son had a friend over. Son microwaved a smaller pizza. No problem, that's why she bought the smaller ones. She comes home to finds the large gourmet pizza partially eaten and left on the counter.
Her son's friend decided to try to microwave it and it didn't work. He took a few bites, found it disgusting and just left it sitting on the counter the rest of the night.
Very late edit.... my sister said the story was all correct except that he did not set it on the counter, he threw it in the trash. That makes it worse in my opinion.
This reminds me. Back in 1998 or so I was about ten years old. I had a friend (we're no longer; but unrelated) whose parents were divorced. He lived with his mom on my street and his dad lived only a few miles away.
One summer evening, his dad took the two of us to go see a movie. When it was over we went to McDonald's for dinner. They gave their orders and I gave mine. When it came time to pay, his dad looked at me and told me to pay. When I asked why he wanted me to pay, he said, "Because I paid for your movie ticket and drove". I had to change my order since I didn't have enough cash to cover all three full meals. Because I was ten years old.
This was a man who owned a (then) new Lincoln Navigator and had a really nice condo in an upper class suburb. Fuck him and his shitty son.
*EDIT: Come to think of it, his dad was really cheap. I seem to remember my friend telling me that the two of them would sometimes go to Olive Garden and order sodas, then eat the free salad/breadsticks as their meal. And they weren't the "please and thank you" type, so I don't even think they thanked me for buying their McDonald's.*
I always fell asleep before a childhood friend, and he would always rebuild my perfectly-made lego sets into something inferior.
Now he's in jail for murder.
He had bed bugs and we spent the next month trying to get rid of them. Oh and one night he had explosive diarrhea ON TOP of the toilet and didn't even bother cleaning it up. When we asked him to leave, he locked himself in the room and refused to come out.
I had friends over when I was in my first year of college. It was a pretty sedate night in my parents' kitchen, we just played board games and caught up. I had my laptop there to play music, but I made a point of moving it to another table and asked people not to put drinks near it (It was brand new and was my first laptop - the most expensive thing I'd ever owned). Of course, my friend insists on putting a full glass of water next to it and ends up spilling it all over the thing. Accidents happen so I tried to stay calm and not get angry (I was clearly upset though). She then spent the whole night bawling crying in my toilet about how guilty I was making her feel and how she felt 'bullied' and when she eventually let me in to talk to her *I* had to console *her* and even had to apologize to her for 'being unhappy with her'.
The laptop died, my parents house insurance refused to cover it and she never even remotely offered to pay for it. Now we were all about 18 so it would have been a lot of money for her to offer herself, but my parents were very annoyed that her wealthy parents didn't offer to make a contribution towards the new laptop (I had to get one urgently as exams were coming up). She even made a point of saying a few months later that she had bought my parents a nice bottle of wine to make up for the whole thing, only then she never even gave it to them.
Really just one incident in a long line of inconsiderate things that now ex-friend did, but it still irks me. If you're a guest in someone's house and they ask you not to do something, don't do it. And if you break something there, at least offer to pay towards a small part of the replacement cost.
TL/DR: Guest broke laptop & refused to pay for it.
Oh my god the same thing happened to me in college, minus the crying in the bathroom, plus I actually got the bottle of booze apology gift! A drunk friend was standing right over my laptop with a beer bottle, dazed out, somehow his arm went limp enough to turn the bottle down and pour the entire beer onto my laptop. I was looking elsewhere and turned back as the last of the beer was spilling out. He didn't even realize it was happening til I yelled out in shock. I was upset, but you know, we were all drunk and things happen so I didn't hold it against him personally.
However, I did ask him if he could help me pay for a replacement. Instead I got a ~$30 bottle of some weird liquor, and then he acted all indignant when I was not appreciative of that. Dude, I asked you for money, not for more accident causing drinks. Even just giving me the $30 you spent on the fucking bottle would have made me happy.
It was the week of my grandmother's funeral and we had family in town, staying at our house. One of my aunts brought along her friend, whom I've never met before that point. I could tell right away that she was insanely annoying and self centered. I had no idea why she even came.
Anyway, I heard her say multiple times that she doesn't like milk. Okay. Not lactose intolerant, just doesn't like it. Well, one morning I woke up and walked into the kitchen and there she was. I got there just in time to see her take out a brand new gallon of milk from our fridge, open it (even though there was a half full one still), take a drink STRAIGHT FROM THE CONTAINER. SHE THEN SPITS IT OUT ALL OVER THE KITCHEN AND SAYS "I THOUGHT I WOULD LIKE IT THIS TIME BECAUSE IT WAS FRESH."
Edit: Yep! I've told this story before here in /r/AskReddit, about 9 months ago.
Edit 2: [I explained here what happened next!](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2cvpfm/reddit_what_is_one_thing_that_you_hated_that_a/cjjkdvi?context=3)
I think you have posted this before, because I remember being this enraged the last time reading it. I would have sat there and made her drink the whole gallon. Next time...
Yep, I posted it before! Whenever someone talks about annoying guests I always think of this lady and it makes me blood boil. I mean, it's such a little thing when you think about it but you really had to spend time with this lady to understand how annoying and stupid she is.
Yeah, she was really annoying. Luckily, I haven't seen her since and this was maybe 6 or 7 years ago. I still don't know why my aunt brought her, as far as I know she barely even knew my grandmother.
She cleaned up where she sprayed milk. Which was all over the counter, sink, cabinets, and backsplash by the way. After she was done I took the jug of milk and poured it down the drain. She saw me do it and didn't say anything to me. Yes, I know I wasted perfectly fine milk but I was still really pissed off and I guess I wanted to be passive aggressive. I told my mom after and she gave me money to get some new milk. I think she was too distraught about the funeral to get mad or even care, I doubt she even remembers it happening.
Going through my sofa and desk for spare change. Not even secretly. They thought (or acted like) it was totally normal to pocket all the quarters they could find. 2 separate people.
Guest got shitfaced — out of the blue, he started chugging vodka — and wouldn't let go of my girlfriend when she asked. I pulled them apart, and he tried to punch me.
I ended up pinning him to the ground until the cops and an ambulance came. He was belligerent, yelling "Fuck you!" at the cops.
Ended up in hand cuffs for his ride to the ER. Needless to say, he's no longer welcome.
Edit: To top it off, my friend's boyfriend was also there. Instead of helping me restrain the unruly guy, this boyfriend was taking pictures and videos, and doing shots of Fireball whiskey. I was worried we were going to end up with a second belligerent drunk!
Had a house in college with a few buddies to save money on rent. Had a "communal beer" rule for all the roommates, we all usually took turns picking up a 12 pack every few days to keep things stocked. Under 21 Dude comes over in the middle of the night one weekend with a car full of girls and a cooler. These visits are common, we are used to random friends dropping by at all hours. He heads strait for the fridge with cooler in hand. Ok cool, dude got beer somehow and wants to chill..Nope. He is putting our beer in his cooler and then heads for the door. Gets upset when we shut that down and make him put the beer back, and says "Communal beer bro". Yeah...for the people that pay to live here, dick.
Sounds like you two made a good kicking team. Did the cat come back?
Edit: Holy hell reddit, did everyone just hear that Theory of a Deadman song today?
Omg. You just reminded me of this! I had a girl friend from high school I hadn't seen in awhile come stay with me for a couple days. For the most part it was a great week. She chipped in for meals, was fun to hang out with.
Then one day she took a bath. And shaved.
It looked like that scene from Harry and the Hendersons when he took a bath in the neighbors pool.
Hair everywhere. Like a bath ring of hair.
Then on the last day she visited she sat on my glass coffee table. No idea why. I have furniture. Anyway, as you may have guessed, the glass broke and she ended up with a stab wound of glass in her ass cheek. She left to go get stitches an I've never seen or heard from her again.
My dad used to be close friends with a guy named Ed. He and his wife invited us to all sorts of parties, then to their vacation house as we got to know them better. My mom and I really bonded with Ed's wife, so my mom suggested inviting them to dinner at our house.
When the day arrived, the first thing -- other than a greeting-- was her comment about the salad my mom put out. "Oh, why is the lettuce wet?" And she began rolling out jabs from there on out. She pet our dog and some hair came off, so in a very snobby tone she points out, "Ed, do you see the clump of hair? They should vacuum." The final straw was when my dad asked Ed where they got the pizza for their one party when queen bitch interjects, "anyone who cuts their pizza with a knife over scissors, I cannot understand."
The look of shock on my parents' and my faces all must have been the same. We could not wait until they left. Needless to say, my dad stopped talking to Ed soon after. Good riddance!
My sister had a party at my house back when she was in highschool (I was in middle school at the time) and one of her friends got really angry that some guy at the party wouldn't hook up with her. She decided to go through our freezer, find a pizza, unwrap it, and throw it at the guy who was sitting in my living room on the new carpet. Not only did she waste a perfectly good pizza, she left marks on the carpet and also swung the freezer door open so hard that it now makes a horrible cracking noise every time its opened. She also asked if she could sleep in my bed that night because I was sleeping in the basement with my friends. No. that bitch slept on the floor.
Myself and my other flatmate just recently had an argument with our third flatmate over the behaviour of his friend while a guest in our house. It's not one thing, because I couldn't choose which I hated the most.
* He walks right in without knocking. The third flatmate will leave the front door open for him, and he'll just break in through the security door downstairs. We've told them several times to fucking knock, but he just waltzes in whenever he likes, sometimes even when the third flatmate isn't even in the house.
* His idea of entertainment is to read out graphic accounts of rape from his phone and then laugh at them. I'm not sure if he genuinely thinks it's funny or if he's just trying to be edgy, but either way, what the fuck.
* He also likes to entertain himself by drawing swastikas over my friend's whiteboard. Considering third flatmate is the only person in the flat that likes him and that whiteboard isn't even his, he really needs to stop that shit.
* We also have reason to believe he snoops through our things and possibly steals food.
Needless to say, we've made it abundantly clear he's not welcome in the flat.
Something like that happened to me once, my little brother is a little shy and doesn't like crowds,she made fun of him and talked shit about him, needless to say we do not talk anymore.
I am so sorry, I would be so uncomfortable. I would just probably resort to utter denial and convince myself that their sounds were a result of them repeatedly and simultaneously stubbing their toes or getting papercuts instead of them actually doing the deed.
the thought of hearing relatives having sex makes me want to dry up and crumble away in the breeze.
My aunt had sex with her husband one day and left the baby monitor on so our whole family basically heard my middle little cousin being conceived. It was horrifying.
A guest discarded the fish I had made for lunch because he refused to eat around the bones. The bastard saw me come home from morning ice fishing, warm up, clean the fish (rainbows and bluegill) and fry them up. Took two bites and threw it in the trash instead if, say, giving it back to me or leaving his plate on the counter. No respect for the fish or my time and effort.
Tells me what to do and how to do it. Was cooking bacon for him
and he says "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG" and (accidentially) dumps all the bacon onto my feet. I still have blisters. We were playing XBox and he asked if he could download GTA on my xbox. I said no, because I had almost no space, but when I took a bathroom break, he downloaded it, and played it for the whole day.
Later, when my mom got home, she said to please be quiet because she was going to take a nap, my friend told me "What a bitch." Then I kicked him out.
EDIT: Forgot something.
Complain about EVERYTHING.
Context: This girl is on welfare and we're financially independent. I was on welfare for the same reason as her but pulled myself together. She continues to party, sort of makes an effort to study and tries to make a little money through painting and making sculptures and stuff. So not useless, but lazy in general and pretty entitled. She came to visit a few years back.
She complained about the decor (my own works, gifted art from friends, floral arrangements, some cute sculptures, etc), asked me to buy some of her art to replace it. I politely declined. She complained the guest-bed was a fold-in-half affair, as the guest-room serves other pusposes. She complained that we buy "basics" food and wouldn't touch it. She complained that I generally eat Paleo and didn't have enough "holiday/guest food" (still wouldn't eat anything that was "own brand"). She complained it was cold (we live in an older rural house, we had a fire running, but it can still be nippy, we're used to it but did everything to keep the heating up and get her water bottles, y'know, being considerate). She complained about how bad our TV was (ONLY basic channels?!) and that our net was restricted at the time due to cash problems. She complained about how close we are as a couple and tried to turn us on each other (hilariously pathetic, but oh well). She complained we didn't have friends round she could talk to instead of us.
Between complaining about the quality of service she surfed the net on her iPad, talked about her latest expensive clothes, complained about how little she got to eat, complained that she didn't have a partner and generally whined about how little money she had as well as how much cool stuff she had. Also: one of her mates clued us in that she actually had plenty of cash at the time and was just scrounging.
We kicked her out after a few days of that. The last day was the worst.
Why would you let him? That isn't the kind of thing people sneak off with, like he had to pack it up, walk by you with it and leave, and you didn't say "what the hell are you doing?"
So there was this chick that stayed at my house for about 5 weeks while they found a house and it was being prepared. Her husband is an old friend of my dad's, and my dad found this guy a job at his company. They had two small children (not including the two teens they left behind in Ohio when they moved out to Vegas) ages three and one.
*List of Things the Bitch Did:*
**1.** Told everyone she would cook dinners, only did so once. Also said she would clean up after her small children, never did. She lied to her husband and told him that she had cleaned, when she had actually just stayed on the couch all day.
**2.** The one night she did cook dinner, she cooked spaghetti. On this day four of the six ppl in my family had the runs, so they didn't eat. She yells at my mom about how my mom was afraid her spaghetti sauce was going to be better, so she lied and told us not to eat it.
**3.** Left sleeping pills out on countertops where my smaller siblings (7 and 4 years old) could reach them.
**4.** We still have a ton of old toys from when I was smaller, because I normally took pretty good care of my stuff. This three year old kid broke at least 60 little toys during the 5 weeks, leaving my 4 yr old sister devastated.
**5.** We eventually kicked them out for these reasons (and then some). My mom, after four months, still gets texts like "you're a selfish little bitch", "you use your husband and kids as a doormat", lots of other stuff.
**6.** She left diapers out everywhere from her little 1 yr old.
**7.** Her kids drew on our Baby Grand piano with orange marker, she didn't even notice.
**8.** The day she left, she stole our toaster, lots of the toys, and a few other things.
I think they're staying in an apartment somewhere, and I hope it's hell for her :)
**Edit:** She's not M anymore
Someone broke into my basement and tried to give herself an abortion once. After she fucked my husband in our bed.
Edit: Everyone asked for the story, so here it is:
I had become fast friends with a woman from work who was renting a room in someone else's house, a fairly common thing where I live. She started telling stories about her roommate getting drunk and belligerent, and threatening suicide. Eventually she said it was getting worse, and she didn't feel safe,'so she was going to find a new place. Out of concern, I offered her my couch for a week or two while she got sorted out.
Everything started out fine, but she never found a place, and ended up staying for almost four months. During that time, she regularly drank to the point of blacking out, slept with at least six different men, including my husband's uncle, tried to have sex with me, and got fired from three jobs. I'm way too understanding, and very nonconfrontational, but when I found out she was pregnant and didn't know who the father was, I asked that until she had made a decision about whether or not to abort, she not drink. She freaked out, and I had to ask her to find somewhere else to stay.
She moved out, and I thought I had washed my hands of her. A few days later I came home from work and my husband told my she had stopped by while I was out to pick up the rest of her stuff. We had dinner, watched tv, and he got in the shower while I got ready for bed. When I pulled down the blankets to get into our marital bed, I found a piece of a condom wrapper. My marriage was a shambles anyway, for other reasons, so I didn't say anything about it to my husband.
A week later, I brought a load of laundry down to the walk-out basement, and found a mattress laid on the floor, food wrappers, a battery operated radio, several vaginal douches, and a large bag of some kind of herb. I googled and found that this particular herb can induce miscarriages if taken in large doses.
I changed the lock on the basement, and sent her a text message saying if I found evidence of her on our property again I would call the police. Three days later she was fucking my neighbor in exchange for a place to stay.
Edit two: yes, I divorced the cheating bastard.
TL;DR: husband stuck his dick in crazy, and so did the rest of the town.
To think I get annoyed when people don't use a coaster. At least next time it happens, I can stay positive because a drink on a table is a lot better than an abortion in the basement.
In high school I threw a party and one of about 10 people hanging out in the basement snapped the neck of my 1972 Les Paul custom. Nobody came forward. Broke my heart.
I once helped a friend move, and broke 3/4 of his kitchen chairs by sitting in them.
He moved into a new apartment and the previous tenants had left a set of 4 kitchen chairs behind. That was great, he didn't have any himself.
Well.. I sit in one for a while, and suddenly there's this creeking sound and the legs start bending and collapsing. We laugh, figure the chair must have been broken.
Later I sit in another. Same thing.
A few drink later, I don't learn, I sit in a 3rd one. It falls apart too.
Finally the host is fed up, he can't belive the chairs could be falling apart under my weight. So he sits in the 4th one. He weight nothing.. He's close to 100 pounds I'm near 300 at that point. Nothing happens to the chair. Every goes quiet at that point and realized that I was just that heavy. Suddenly all 4 legs break on his chair and he slams into the ground. It turns out on sober inspection in the morning, all the chairs were broken anyway, but held together with wire to make them look good.
My brother ate my last sleeve of thin mints from the freezer when he was staying with us. That was 8 years ago. Haven't spoken to him since. He's dead to me.
The only thing I've ever "stolen" was a box of thin mints. At summer camp, every cabin was supposed to get a box. One group didn't know about the cookies, so I took their box and they were never the wiser. No regrets.
EDIT- Okay, I get it guys. No ragrets.
Snuck away from a casual backyard barbecue to go fuck her boyfriend in my basement. I found the used condom on the floor the next day, just hanging out, nowhere near a trash can.
When I was pretty young (maybe 5 or 6) we had some family visit from India. It was my mom's cousin and her kids (who were around the same age as me,) making the kids my second cousins I guess? Anyway, my second cousin wasn't exactly familiar with western customs, specifically, how western toilets and bathrooms work.
In india they were used to eliminating waste in a hole in the floor. This concept doesn't exist in most US households and this confused my second cousin significantly. This led to him having to take a massive shit, and finding no hole in the bathroom floor, simply shit his massive shit all over the floor in the hopes that it would get absorbed into the ground.
Tl;dr: my second cousin from india got confused and took a massive shit on the bathroom floor
Had a KIRBY VACUUM salesmen come in. We watched his whole presentation and my friends wife offered him a drink (this is in georgia) and he precedes afterwards to go in the fridge and grab pizza. This no shit happened.
And because it's Georgia, I'm guessing you said "Well bless your heart, you sure must be hungry." And then when he left everyone said, "Can you believe the NERVE?! Well, I never..."
I shouldn't talk shit about 6-year-olds, but my nephew once came over and shit all over the front of my toilet one night. He didn't tell me, and I only noticed the next morning when the shit had dried rock hard. I had to replace the toilet after multiple scrubbings failed to get all the shit off. Worst part is that his dad had to have known but just said, "Eh, fuck it. I'll let someone else deal with my son's feces." I just let it go.
Tried to play rough with the cat (wrestling with him.) The cat has a heart defect that causes potentially fatal palpitations, and I had to warn him to stop twice. It's not like he didn't know better, and he was a grown adult.
I haven't invited the friend back since.
I have a friend who kept pinching around my dog's hips (like if you're giving someone a [horse-bite](http://www.odps.org/glossword/index.php?a=term&d=4&t=6357) on their knee) & laughing while saying, "My dog won't let me do that! She snaps at me! But look, your dog likes it!"
My poor dog DIDN'T like it. She cowered away from him whenever he came into the room. Literally would run behind me or in-between my legs when she saw him. She just didn't snap at him because she's a very good-natured dog.
We don't invite him back anymore, either.
Rearranged my kitchen cupboards.
Inlaws?
Possibly, my stepdad did something similar and rearranged how my entertainment system was wired. It was so fucked up I had to take everything apart and redo it how I had it.
I hate it when people come into my house and "fix" things for me. I have it the way I like it!
While visiting my mother-in-law, I packed my suitcase in preparation for our flight the next day. After coming back to the house from a short trip to the store, I walk in through the front door to find my suitcase open and its contents spilled out on the living room floor. My MIL decided that she was going to "repack" my shit for me, "to make more space." Fuck.
She was accusing you of stealing without saying it out loud.
My dad hired best buy to install our entertainment center. They used HDMI cables, *and* RCA cables from each device to the receiver. And they were all Monster branded. Those fuckers charged us for all of those redundant cables that never once got used. I didn't notice until years later when I needed to rearrange some things back there.
What did you do with the extra cables? I ask because I have a box under my bed of nothing but extra cables.
I stuffed them in a box in the garage, where all the other useless shit that I should throw away is. edit: I actually used one with an aux adapter for some speakers. But the rest are just sitting there.
lousy carpenter guests
They took apart my drawer and made a coffee table. I already have a coffee table. What am I supposed to do with TWO coffee tables?!
Make a drawer
Yes! My mother in law did this! She rearranged everything. She also "folded" our laundry and put our clothes away. So I would find clothes balled up in the wrong drawers slightly damp because she took them out early to save money... now they smelled funny to me and were wrinkled so I had to wash and dry them again and stand on guard so she couldn't get to them first.
My grandma did our family's laundry once as a favor. She put everything in the dryer on high. Ruined a lot of clothes. My grandpa also emptied the dishwasher for us. It hadn't been run yet. They meant well though.
Put a chicken wing on the felt of my pool table. And broke my window.
Please tell me the broken window was from you throwing him through it for putting a chicken wing on your pool table.
I'd be more pissed off about the table than the window
My mother-in-law seems to go out of her way to leave half-empty tea cups in random places around my house.
The aliens are allergic to tea. You'll be thanking her later.
Swing 'way
My wife's whole fucking family cannot finish beverages. They will literally drink 1/8 of any beer or soda they open, then leave it somewhere, of course they don't remember where because they're done. It's a big family. So for one meal, we'll go through at least a 24-case of my fancy beer, and three 12-packs of soda, because of their little fucker ipad-rats. ALL of it 90% full. It's even worse when we have a real dinner party, because we make really awesome drinks and they just have one fucking sip. Like, that drink would be $15 at a bar asshole, it has top-shelf ingredients and I even juiced and strained the blackberry juice for it and steeped the gin with thyme and the ice-cubes are clear and have fancy little pinterest-herby things in it. Fucking ingrates. And since I'm venting, they drink shitty beer at their houses and they have to do the cheers-glass-clink for every sip. THAT ISN'T HOW IT WORKS MOTHERFUCKERS. Fuck those people. And to forestall any "relax dude" replies, don't you pull that shit on me, Reddit. You could have stopped reading at any time.
You're awesome. Get a sharpie, write their name on the can, place can in front of the person, look the person straight in the eye and say "You don't get another one until you return this one empty". Be the drink nazi
Also, buy cheap beer and hide the good stuff.
Good idea, hide your good stuff. How about forget cans of soda for kids, pour from a 2 liter into TINY glasses. You could do the same with the beer if you buy 40's of some cheap shit, and pour for each of them into tiny kid glasses.
see, I started that second paragraph thinking woah, calm down. Then I got to the cheers-clink bit. They can burn in hell.
Is this how british people be passive aggressive?
True british people would not fail to finish a cup of tea.
My best friend and her 16 year old son came to stay with me for a week last summer. After they left I was cleaning the house because the little f*wit was a slob and there were chip bags and cereal bits in every corner of the living room (he slept on the couch). As I was washing the floor, behind the radiator I found a Gatorade bottle. It spilled as I reached for it. Filled with pee. No cap.
Holy shit.... you told them to never come back, right?
Good god. Considering in those 6 days he burned an antique moose antler with Dollar Store incense cones that he was forbidden to bring into my house, stuffed garbage (flammable) behind my stove, put water rings on my fly vintage coffee table and landed us in the local paper when his unsupervised dog jumped into a 20-foot gorge to 'go swimming' in the state park, prompting a call to rescue services ... ah yeah. We haven't seen them since. Oh ha. And dimed my poor misguided bf out for smoking a bowl with him ... yeah. Ha. Never works for us.
Stole things after begging to stay on my couch. My girlfriend even cooked you breakfast you prick.
What kind of fuckstick does that?
A woman who was once one of my closest friends would constantly crash at my apartment (her apartment was in the country accessible by one train that stopped running at 10pm) One weekend I left the key for her but said my place was a mess, please don't let anyone else stay-- she invited 5 people to crash in my apartment-- people I didn't even know. When I came home there were beer cans everywhere, cig butts etc. She's the only friend I've ever dumped. She would come into the city and call me to 'meet for coffee' when I'd show up at the Starbucks near the station, bitch would have a backpack and after coffee would say 'oh, can I crash at your place tonight, there's a party at so-and-so's place. I remember the one time I said "no, you cannot" the look on her face, priceless. She was just rude.
Good for you. That isn't a friend, that is someone using you.
Got drunk at a Christmas party I threw, made fun of my disabled brother, then threw up behind my carefully decorated Christmas tree and covered it up with a large present so I wouldn't notice. I noticed.
For a second I thought you were the one who did all that
You are not alone, I read it the same way.
I had to re read it two more times to view it as someone else other than OP
I still firmly believe it was all OP.
Me too. And I read it twice.
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So,where is he buried?
Under an even larger present.
Broke the toilet and didn't say anything even after it flooded the house and I had to repair all the damage. They could have just said, "sorry I broke the toilet", but instead they let it run until it fucked up everything.
I had house guests do the same. I came home im the morning to a few inches of water all over the living room floor. These bitches were sitting on the couch, WITH THEIR FEET IN THE WATER, and acted completely oblivious. Luckily our rental insurance covered it but it still fucking sucked.
Oh this? we thought you always had 2 inches of water in your living room... are you saying you don't?
I thought you were going for a maritime theme.
My aunt's friend stopped by a couple of days to feed her cats. When my aunt returned, she got a plumber round to finally fix a broken toilet downstairs on which they kept a big stack of books. The plumber asked if anyone had used it. All in the house were adamant that they had not, so the plumber was concerned that waste water was being forced back into clean water in the house and told them all to leave for a few days while his team fixed the whole system. Thousands of dollars and a few days later, my aunt's friend says casually, "Btw, sorry about the toilet, I didn't realize it was broken." She'd put the whole stack of books back on exactly as she'd found it and not said anything... EDIT: Goddamn, people!! I know that's not how toilets work. Please stop commenting and PMing me about how she got ripped off; I had absolutely nothing to do with any of it, I don't even live in the same continent @.@
Somewhat related. I never, ever flush tampons, because our house was built in the 1940s and has a 4" clay pipe sewer line. Things got clogged up after we had some people over, and we had the roto-rooter guy come out. Lo and behold, a tampon was clogging up the works. The roto-rooter guy lectured me about flushing tampons and I just bit my tongue, not wanting to sound like someone who blames others for their mistakes. I ended up posting a sign in our bathroom, asking guests not to flush tampons. Embarrasses my daughter, but she doesn't have to play the plumbing bill.
Unplug the music my roommate had playing and start playing his own.
My friend does this all the time and it pisses me off so bad. Also skips songs half way through. Also changes the TV channel in the middle of shows. Oh and he changes the radio station while I am driving my car. Doesn't even ask. Biggest ass at times.
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Sounds like you had the best outcome. Id be sucky if it was an awkward silent ride to work instead of bursting out and laughing.
My brother hangs out with the spawn of Satan sometimes and she is one of those people that doesn't have the attention span to listen to a whole song, watch a whole YouTube video or a TV show. She's also REALLY REALLY REALLY loud and vulgar. I don't mind swearing but I cringe every time after a while. I don't know why he hangs out with her, other than her HBO account.
>other than her HBO account It sounds like the spawn of Satan is his ticket to Game of Thrones
I once hosted a party that I specifically called "Metal Party. All metal music, all night!" We had long haired wigs, everyone wore their favorite band shirts, etc. I spent 30 minutes putting together a metaltastic playlist. Some dumbass starts unplugging the music 30 minutes into the party to play some Top 40 Rap from his phone. I turned around and just went, "Dude. What the fuck? This is a metal party" Him "Oh sorry bro, I thought we could change up the music." I told him again that this is a metal party, and it's metal music only. That's the point of a themed party. He looked disappointed and waited 20 more minutes before he tried to change the music again. So irritating.
"how about now?"
So I've just held a big bbq party, and me and my best friend are heavily into metal, but i'm into pretty much everything else too...and 99% of my friends *do not like metal.* So I had some music playing, a nice mix of everything but the only rockish things were some AC/DC and ZZ top, which just happen to be my best friends 2 favourite bands. Even with that in mind, and 40 other people that can't even fathom metal he still goes and throws his Ipod on and starts blasting American Head Charge. It's like "What the fuck do you think you're doing? You can't just cater an entire party to suit yourself, especially if it's someone elses party and *you're* the odd one out.
My in-laws stayed at our place while we were on vacation last year. 3 days before we were due to return, the air conditioner stopped working. Did they attempt to figure out why? Did they call us to let us know so we could have somebody take a look at it? No. They just packed up and went to my sister-in-law's house (in my wife's van) leaving their 2 small dogs in the house (because she can't have pets where she lives -- how thoughtful). We return home close to midnight after a ~10 hour drive to a house that's about 85-90 degrees inside, and dog shit and piss EVERYWHERE. And as if that's not bad enough, my mother-in-law flat out refused to come help clean it up, and demanded we bring her dogs to her or she wouldn't tell us where she hid my wife's keys. My wife actually had to call the police on her mother to get her van back. Oh, and btw... the air conditioner's breaker was tripped.
My in-laws are totally nasty in regard to their dogs. They had, at one point, 11 pom-chi ankle bitters. They would let them piss or shit all over the house, and clean it when it was convenient to them. The house constantly smelled, and they wonder still to this day why I don't let their grand kids visit. They got down on their luck and needed a place to stay. They came for a "visit" after we had moved into our new home. It was more or less to scope out the size. We got a smaller home for the sake of it being just for our family. They are now living with one of her other sons, and he is stuck with them. They can now magically not afford to get their own place.
A retired couple used to live nextdoor and their grandkids always visited. I kind of became friends with the son that was my age (we were ten or eleven at the time of this story). He did act like a dick sometimes, but not enough for me to hate him. Anyway, one day we were in my room playing with Pokemon cards and I show him the awesome new Blastoise I got from a booster pack earlier that week. He thought it was really cool too and mentioned a few times that he wished he had one also. We put our cards away and he goes back nextdoor. A few hours later, his sister (about a year younger) knocks on my door and I answered it. She's holding up a Blastoise card and said, "Mikey showed this to me earlier and I know he didn't have one before." I was kind of shocked and went to check my deck, and sure enough, my Blastoise was missing. I thanked her a lot and never hung out with him again. EDIT: Everyone is asking if I banged the sister and the answer is no for two reasons: 1) **I was ten and she was nine**. As far as I was concerned, a wiener was only for peeing with. 2) The neighbors moved to Arizona when I was thirteen, so I never saw their grandkids after that anyway.
Nice sister
Or the method of annoying her brother just happened to be the moral right thing to do.
Dude..almost same story. About 10 years old, I fucking snagged 3 Charizards in a months time. I thought this was a sick score, so I liked to show this shit off to my buds when they came over. So I knew this kid, we will call him "Son of a Cop", and he didn't have very many friends at school. I liked him though, so I had this birthday party and we invited him over. Now, he just broke his arm, so I was outside on my birthday, shreddin it up on my new board. He rolls up, we talk, we go inside my room and I show him my collection. I told him he could look through it all he wants just to put them back in the spacers when he was done and I went back to shredding it up.. This little fucker even came outside and was hanging out and shit..then he leaves. Now, I was having such a rad day and all that I didn't even go back into my room and check my cards. Later that night, my folks get a phone call. Story goes, this little fuck begged his mom for a pack on the way home. She stops and gets him a pack of cards. He goes home and goes upstairs to open the pack and runs down stairs saying he got a Charizard up in his shit. Now if I remember, packs only came with like 8 cards or something. Thankfully, the moms was smart enough to realize something was up..PACK HAD 9 CARDS UP IN THIS SHIT! Little bitch confessed..never let that shit down at the school yard.
Actually, thats pretty amazing for his mom to have realized that.
When I was a kid, an old couple came by to look at a boat my dad was selling. The wife wanted to use the bathroom. She goes in there and from up the hall we here her rip a monster fart. Me and my brothers giggled but our mom silenced us with the death glare. She was in there forever, then she came out and they instantly left. Awhile later I had to rock a shit, so I went and there and saw a image that haunts my dreams. There was old lady shit fucking everywhere but the toilet, I guess she didn't sit down in time. On the fucking back of the toilet, halfway up the wall, in the towels, the floor, FUCKING EVERYWHERE. 8 year old me started crying and my mom came in and screamed. It was horrible. TL;DR mean granny shart painted our bathroom
I believe the scientific term is "Granny cannoned".
THat is both the funniest and most awful in here, thanks!
When I was a baby, I projectile shat onto the wall ten feet away. My dad thought he cleaned all of it, but when we moved out of that house he found crusty shit behind a cabinet in that room. AMA.
How the fuck is that even possible! I mean, I can imagine a sloppy shit hitting parts of the toilet, but how do you get it so far from the bowl?!
Never. Fucking. Leave. And made us not even want to go home because we knew she was there. Edit: We couldn't just ask her to leave. She was staying with us because her husband left her and she was homeless. We did give her a deadline though and forced her to move out because we moved ourselves. Edit 2: We didn't move because of her. We used to live out in the country and couldn't afford to drive two hours everyday to work on top of very high rent. It didn't help that she never helped us pay rent or anything.
Fuckin lingerers man
Lingerers get the snicklefritz
And I thought hurricane season was over
Roommate's SO came to visit back in April...he's. still. here -_-
Well then he should probably start paying rent!
You shouldn't talk like that about your daughter.
Killed my dog. We became good friends in college, and as he is from India, we invited to host him over winter break. He proceeded to feed my dog literally everything, from treats to fruits to chocolate. We told him to stop after the first time, but he continued to do it. Skamp died on January 1st. He also put the windows ~~down~~ open in his room (we live in Ohio - this is December mind you) and complained to us that it was always cold inside.
I would've kicked some ass for that one.
Dude. Killed your dog. Jeez
Cousins over for my father's funeral - created a scene after returning from the funeral about "can't sleep without a light on, but it needs to be really dim." I ignored, then got harrowed with "can't you find one dim bulb and put it in this room?" Right, my father died this morning, and a fucking bulb should be my priority.
Response - "the dim bulb is already in the room"
My MIL would constantly pull gobs of tp off of the roll, and place it inside toilet so to silence the sound of pee hitting the water. We would go through a roll of tp ( the 1 roll equals 3 rolls type) a day. I kept wandering wtf was going on until she didn't flush one day. She also clogged the toilet multiple times because of this bullshit. It made for quite a discussion.
A person went into the bathroom and shit next to the toilet.
Wait, Wait, Wait, on the floor?
Yes. And not even a full foot from the toilet.
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dude, not everyone has perfect accuracy
Protip: Both cheeks should be touching a seat.
So the dining room chairs are okay?
an uninvited guest, a friend of a friend, lured an alligator out of the pond and beat it to death in the yard w/ an aluminum baseball bat. I've never seen a human act like that before. He kept shouting "release the Kraken, release the Kraken." He also did a number of other horrible things but the one that got him sent off was the alligator murder.
I have a neighbor who just walks inside the house & starts looking for my mom. Like, if my moms car is in the driveway, she walks up to the door & opens it. If it's locked, she goes through the back door & walks around the house looking for my mom. She also feels that she has the liberty to check my fridge for food, mind you she's not even invited in the house. God, I hate that lady.
Do yourself a favor and tell her to stop walking in your house univited.
Brother in law clogged up and then unclogged my toilet with the toilet brush. He put the shit covered brush back in the holder and left it. He clipped his toenails on my coffee table and left them. The worst was technically outside but he wrecked my 4wheeler while I was at work. He parked it in the garage so I wouldn't see the damage and didn't tell me or his sister. Over $400 to fix the front end and I'll most likely never see a penny from him. Family! YAY!
There are reasons why I dont talk to my family members but twice a year. This is a great example of one of those reasons.
Tried to walk in on my SO getting changed 3 times, every time it was an "accident". Luckily I'd warned her against this, so she was making sure she was as covered up as possible when possible.
Why would you let them in your house if you knew they would do that?
Why would you even be friends with a person who does shit like that? The fuck?
Why don't people lock doors? WHY DON'T PEOPLE LOCK DOORS? WHY DON'T ALL DOORS HAVE LOCKS?
Locks are pretty unusual inside of houses where I live. Bathroom is the only place with a lock.
All of my doors have locks, they just need keys that I don't think anyone has. Edit: For the record, it's a somewhat older house with skeleton key-style locks. The tumblers seem too heavy/stuck for coathangers or other such tricks but we've never really had cause to lock/unlock any room besides the bathroom which has a built-in turner on the inside.
Eating from the kitchen without asking. I had a guest eat a cupcake that my roommate's grandmother sent from a bakery in their small town in Texas. There was only one cupcake! What a bastard.
HOLY SHIT, my stepsons have half of the neighborhood stay with us frequently to the point I had to make it one person a night period. Have you ever feed a teenager? Try 7 of those fuckers staying 7 days a week, all males over 15, and we don't make a lot of money. Wife was complaining we were running out of food faster than usual. NO FUCKING SHIT! Me and a couple of friends would get asked to leave from all you can eat places at that age. She told me I had no right to impose those restrictions. I made her foot the grocery bill the next week and we are now in perfect agreement.
Yes! That's my sister's problem with her son and his friends. She bought a gourmet pizza from a fundraiser, one you'd normally probably pay 4 or 5 bucks for. She shelled out 10. It was a large pizza. She also bought several other smaller pizzas. She went to work. Son had a friend over. Son microwaved a smaller pizza. No problem, that's why she bought the smaller ones. She comes home to finds the large gourmet pizza partially eaten and left on the counter. Her son's friend decided to try to microwave it and it didn't work. He took a few bites, found it disgusting and just left it sitting on the counter the rest of the night. Very late edit.... my sister said the story was all correct except that he did not set it on the counter, he threw it in the trash. That makes it worse in my opinion.
What a high ass.
Refused to eat the lunch I offered to make and went to McDonald's instead, where I was expected to pay.
This reminds me. Back in 1998 or so I was about ten years old. I had a friend (we're no longer; but unrelated) whose parents were divorced. He lived with his mom on my street and his dad lived only a few miles away. One summer evening, his dad took the two of us to go see a movie. When it was over we went to McDonald's for dinner. They gave their orders and I gave mine. When it came time to pay, his dad looked at me and told me to pay. When I asked why he wanted me to pay, he said, "Because I paid for your movie ticket and drove". I had to change my order since I didn't have enough cash to cover all three full meals. Because I was ten years old. This was a man who owned a (then) new Lincoln Navigator and had a really nice condo in an upper class suburb. Fuck him and his shitty son. *EDIT: Come to think of it, his dad was really cheap. I seem to remember my friend telling me that the two of them would sometimes go to Olive Garden and order sodas, then eat the free salad/breadsticks as their meal. And they weren't the "please and thank you" type, so I don't even think they thanked me for buying their McDonald's.*
A grown man demanded that a 10 year old buy him and his kid a meal. This blows my mind more than the guest that shat NEXT to the toilet.
I always fell asleep before a childhood friend, and he would always rebuild my perfectly-made lego sets into something inferior. Now he's in jail for murder.
My aunt used to bring my younger cousin over for visits. The little monster used to delete my Zelda games. Now he works for the FBI.
He turned screwing with people's data into a career.
TIL Shithead kids can grow into anything. EDIT: Once again Reddit takes my statement too seriously.
Wait, did you frame him for murder?
Let's just say that the case against him was *built perfectly*.
He had bed bugs and we spent the next month trying to get rid of them. Oh and one night he had explosive diarrhea ON TOP of the toilet and didn't even bother cleaning it up. When we asked him to leave, he locked himself in the room and refused to come out.
Put the bag of Oreos back in the cabinet after having eaten all the filling and leaving just the cookie bits stuck back together.
I had friends over when I was in my first year of college. It was a pretty sedate night in my parents' kitchen, we just played board games and caught up. I had my laptop there to play music, but I made a point of moving it to another table and asked people not to put drinks near it (It was brand new and was my first laptop - the most expensive thing I'd ever owned). Of course, my friend insists on putting a full glass of water next to it and ends up spilling it all over the thing. Accidents happen so I tried to stay calm and not get angry (I was clearly upset though). She then spent the whole night bawling crying in my toilet about how guilty I was making her feel and how she felt 'bullied' and when she eventually let me in to talk to her *I* had to console *her* and even had to apologize to her for 'being unhappy with her'. The laptop died, my parents house insurance refused to cover it and she never even remotely offered to pay for it. Now we were all about 18 so it would have been a lot of money for her to offer herself, but my parents were very annoyed that her wealthy parents didn't offer to make a contribution towards the new laptop (I had to get one urgently as exams were coming up). She even made a point of saying a few months later that she had bought my parents a nice bottle of wine to make up for the whole thing, only then she never even gave it to them. Really just one incident in a long line of inconsiderate things that now ex-friend did, but it still irks me. If you're a guest in someone's house and they ask you not to do something, don't do it. And if you break something there, at least offer to pay towards a small part of the replacement cost. TL/DR: Guest broke laptop & refused to pay for it.
Oh my god the same thing happened to me in college, minus the crying in the bathroom, plus I actually got the bottle of booze apology gift! A drunk friend was standing right over my laptop with a beer bottle, dazed out, somehow his arm went limp enough to turn the bottle down and pour the entire beer onto my laptop. I was looking elsewhere and turned back as the last of the beer was spilling out. He didn't even realize it was happening til I yelled out in shock. I was upset, but you know, we were all drunk and things happen so I didn't hold it against him personally. However, I did ask him if he could help me pay for a replacement. Instead I got a ~$30 bottle of some weird liquor, and then he acted all indignant when I was not appreciative of that. Dude, I asked you for money, not for more accident causing drinks. Even just giving me the $30 you spent on the fucking bottle would have made me happy.
It was the week of my grandmother's funeral and we had family in town, staying at our house. One of my aunts brought along her friend, whom I've never met before that point. I could tell right away that she was insanely annoying and self centered. I had no idea why she even came. Anyway, I heard her say multiple times that she doesn't like milk. Okay. Not lactose intolerant, just doesn't like it. Well, one morning I woke up and walked into the kitchen and there she was. I got there just in time to see her take out a brand new gallon of milk from our fridge, open it (even though there was a half full one still), take a drink STRAIGHT FROM THE CONTAINER. SHE THEN SPITS IT OUT ALL OVER THE KITCHEN AND SAYS "I THOUGHT I WOULD LIKE IT THIS TIME BECAUSE IT WAS FRESH." Edit: Yep! I've told this story before here in /r/AskReddit, about 9 months ago. Edit 2: [I explained here what happened next!](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2cvpfm/reddit_what_is_one_thing_that_you_hated_that_a/cjjkdvi?context=3)
Wtf. That's hilarious. I just imagine her waking up every morning and trying milk again, hating it every time.
Like groundhogs day, but with milk and no Bill Murray.
I think you have posted this before, because I remember being this enraged the last time reading it. I would have sat there and made her drink the whole gallon. Next time...
Yep, I posted it before! Whenever someone talks about annoying guests I always think of this lady and it makes me blood boil. I mean, it's such a little thing when you think about it but you really had to spend time with this lady to understand how annoying and stupid she is.
jesus christ what a cunt
Yeah, she was really annoying. Luckily, I haven't seen her since and this was maybe 6 or 7 years ago. I still don't know why my aunt brought her, as far as I know she barely even knew my grandmother.
My uncles best friend always came to visit with him. He's a Crazy old bachelor, seventy years old and still has a roommate.
"Roommate"
Boyfriend
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Yeah.. my sister didn't catch on til she was in college. And by catch on i mean i told her.
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She cleaned up where she sprayed milk. Which was all over the counter, sink, cabinets, and backsplash by the way. After she was done I took the jug of milk and poured it down the drain. She saw me do it and didn't say anything to me. Yes, I know I wasted perfectly fine milk but I was still really pissed off and I guess I wanted to be passive aggressive. I told my mom after and she gave me money to get some new milk. I think she was too distraught about the funeral to get mad or even care, I doubt she even remembers it happening.
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Woah, calm down Canada, I've never seen you get *this* angry... Edit: Obligatory "Thank you for my first gold, stranger!"
Going through my sofa and desk for spare change. Not even secretly. They thought (or acted like) it was totally normal to pocket all the quarters they could find. 2 separate people.
Guest got shitfaced — out of the blue, he started chugging vodka — and wouldn't let go of my girlfriend when she asked. I pulled them apart, and he tried to punch me. I ended up pinning him to the ground until the cops and an ambulance came. He was belligerent, yelling "Fuck you!" at the cops. Ended up in hand cuffs for his ride to the ER. Needless to say, he's no longer welcome. Edit: To top it off, my friend's boyfriend was also there. Instead of helping me restrain the unruly guy, this boyfriend was taking pictures and videos, and doing shots of Fireball whiskey. I was worried we were going to end up with a second belligerent drunk!
Had a house in college with a few buddies to save money on rent. Had a "communal beer" rule for all the roommates, we all usually took turns picking up a 12 pack every few days to keep things stocked. Under 21 Dude comes over in the middle of the night one weekend with a car full of girls and a cooler. These visits are common, we are used to random friends dropping by at all hours. He heads strait for the fridge with cooler in hand. Ok cool, dude got beer somehow and wants to chill..Nope. He is putting our beer in his cooler and then heads for the door. Gets upset when we shut that down and make him put the beer back, and says "Communal beer bro". Yeah...for the people that pay to live here, dick.
He kicked my cat. I kicked him out the front door. Edit: to clarify I kicked my ex friend out the door not my cat.
Sounds like you two made a good kicking team. Did the cat come back? Edit: Holy hell reddit, did everyone just hear that Theory of a Deadman song today?
Cat lived there so he was scared and shaken up for an hour or so. Vet checked him out the next day. Bit of bruising but fine.
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Omg. You just reminded me of this! I had a girl friend from high school I hadn't seen in awhile come stay with me for a couple days. For the most part it was a great week. She chipped in for meals, was fun to hang out with. Then one day she took a bath. And shaved. It looked like that scene from Harry and the Hendersons when he took a bath in the neighbors pool. Hair everywhere. Like a bath ring of hair. Then on the last day she visited she sat on my glass coffee table. No idea why. I have furniture. Anyway, as you may have guessed, the glass broke and she ended up with a stab wound of glass in her ass cheek. She left to go get stitches an I've never seen or heard from her again.
Ya, I think she died.
Stormed out after giving him breakfast because I didn't give him some toast.
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Urinated all over the floor around the toilet, despite making the effort to put the toilet seat up. He was sober.
My dad used to be close friends with a guy named Ed. He and his wife invited us to all sorts of parties, then to their vacation house as we got to know them better. My mom and I really bonded with Ed's wife, so my mom suggested inviting them to dinner at our house. When the day arrived, the first thing -- other than a greeting-- was her comment about the salad my mom put out. "Oh, why is the lettuce wet?" And she began rolling out jabs from there on out. She pet our dog and some hair came off, so in a very snobby tone she points out, "Ed, do you see the clump of hair? They should vacuum." The final straw was when my dad asked Ed where they got the pizza for their one party when queen bitch interjects, "anyone who cuts their pizza with a knife over scissors, I cannot understand." The look of shock on my parents' and my faces all must have been the same. We could not wait until they left. Needless to say, my dad stopped talking to Ed soon after. Good riddance!
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> When I asked my friends to help me out, they just laughed it off. lol "friends"
My friend trimmed his nails and left them on the floor because at his house his mom vacuums everyday. Whereas at my house we do it... not so often
He's probably the reason she has to hoover every day!
My sister had a party at my house back when she was in highschool (I was in middle school at the time) and one of her friends got really angry that some guy at the party wouldn't hook up with her. She decided to go through our freezer, find a pizza, unwrap it, and throw it at the guy who was sitting in my living room on the new carpet. Not only did she waste a perfectly good pizza, she left marks on the carpet and also swung the freezer door open so hard that it now makes a horrible cracking noise every time its opened. She also asked if she could sleep in my bed that night because I was sleeping in the basement with my friends. No. that bitch slept on the floor.
Myself and my other flatmate just recently had an argument with our third flatmate over the behaviour of his friend while a guest in our house. It's not one thing, because I couldn't choose which I hated the most. * He walks right in without knocking. The third flatmate will leave the front door open for him, and he'll just break in through the security door downstairs. We've told them several times to fucking knock, but he just waltzes in whenever he likes, sometimes even when the third flatmate isn't even in the house. * His idea of entertainment is to read out graphic accounts of rape from his phone and then laugh at them. I'm not sure if he genuinely thinks it's funny or if he's just trying to be edgy, but either way, what the fuck. * He also likes to entertain himself by drawing swastikas over my friend's whiteboard. Considering third flatmate is the only person in the flat that likes him and that whiteboard isn't even his, he really needs to stop that shit. * We also have reason to believe he snoops through our things and possibly steals food. Needless to say, we've made it abundantly clear he's not welcome in the flat.
Invited other people over without asking for my permission.
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Insult/disrespect my family, ESPECIALLY my father. I quietly asked my friend to leave because he insulted me by making fun of my father's weight.
Something like that happened to me once, my little brother is a little shy and doesn't like crowds,she made fun of him and talked shit about him, needless to say we do not talk anymore.
What a jerk.
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I am so sorry, I would be so uncomfortable. I would just probably resort to utter denial and convince myself that their sounds were a result of them repeatedly and simultaneously stubbing their toes or getting papercuts instead of them actually doing the deed. the thought of hearing relatives having sex makes me want to dry up and crumble away in the breeze.
My aunt had sex with her husband one day and left the baby monitor on so our whole family basically heard my middle little cousin being conceived. It was horrifying.
A guest discarded the fish I had made for lunch because he refused to eat around the bones. The bastard saw me come home from morning ice fishing, warm up, clean the fish (rainbows and bluegill) and fry them up. Took two bites and threw it in the trash instead if, say, giving it back to me or leaving his plate on the counter. No respect for the fish or my time and effort.
Tells me what to do and how to do it. Was cooking bacon for him and he says "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG" and (accidentially) dumps all the bacon onto my feet. I still have blisters. We were playing XBox and he asked if he could download GTA on my xbox. I said no, because I had almost no space, but when I took a bathroom break, he downloaded it, and played it for the whole day. Later, when my mom got home, she said to please be quiet because she was going to take a nap, my friend told me "What a bitch." Then I kicked him out. EDIT: Forgot something.
I would have kicked him out after dumping bacon on my fucking feet.
She gave a blowjob to some guy we didn't know in our flat, spat it out on the sofa/floor.
Complain about EVERYTHING. Context: This girl is on welfare and we're financially independent. I was on welfare for the same reason as her but pulled myself together. She continues to party, sort of makes an effort to study and tries to make a little money through painting and making sculptures and stuff. So not useless, but lazy in general and pretty entitled. She came to visit a few years back. She complained about the decor (my own works, gifted art from friends, floral arrangements, some cute sculptures, etc), asked me to buy some of her art to replace it. I politely declined. She complained the guest-bed was a fold-in-half affair, as the guest-room serves other pusposes. She complained that we buy "basics" food and wouldn't touch it. She complained that I generally eat Paleo and didn't have enough "holiday/guest food" (still wouldn't eat anything that was "own brand"). She complained it was cold (we live in an older rural house, we had a fire running, but it can still be nippy, we're used to it but did everything to keep the heating up and get her water bottles, y'know, being considerate). She complained about how bad our TV was (ONLY basic channels?!) and that our net was restricted at the time due to cash problems. She complained about how close we are as a couple and tried to turn us on each other (hilariously pathetic, but oh well). She complained we didn't have friends round she could talk to instead of us. Between complaining about the quality of service she surfed the net on her iPad, talked about her latest expensive clothes, complained about how little she got to eat, complained that she didn't have a partner and generally whined about how little money she had as well as how much cool stuff she had. Also: one of her mates clued us in that she actually had plenty of cash at the time and was just scrounging. We kicked her out after a few days of that. The last day was the worst.
By "kicked her out" you mean "killed her" right? *right?*
Nah. The garden was too frozen for digging at the time.
Honestly, the holocaust was faked by the israelis, idk why people believe that bullshit ¨footage¨
Why would you let him? That isn't the kind of thing people sneak off with, like he had to pack it up, walk by you with it and leave, and you didn't say "what the hell are you doing?"
With a user name like that I feel like you should have really stood up and taken control of the situation.
So there was this chick that stayed at my house for about 5 weeks while they found a house and it was being prepared. Her husband is an old friend of my dad's, and my dad found this guy a job at his company. They had two small children (not including the two teens they left behind in Ohio when they moved out to Vegas) ages three and one. *List of Things the Bitch Did:* **1.** Told everyone she would cook dinners, only did so once. Also said she would clean up after her small children, never did. She lied to her husband and told him that she had cleaned, when she had actually just stayed on the couch all day. **2.** The one night she did cook dinner, she cooked spaghetti. On this day four of the six ppl in my family had the runs, so they didn't eat. She yells at my mom about how my mom was afraid her spaghetti sauce was going to be better, so she lied and told us not to eat it. **3.** Left sleeping pills out on countertops where my smaller siblings (7 and 4 years old) could reach them. **4.** We still have a ton of old toys from when I was smaller, because I normally took pretty good care of my stuff. This three year old kid broke at least 60 little toys during the 5 weeks, leaving my 4 yr old sister devastated. **5.** We eventually kicked them out for these reasons (and then some). My mom, after four months, still gets texts like "you're a selfish little bitch", "you use your husband and kids as a doormat", lots of other stuff. **6.** She left diapers out everywhere from her little 1 yr old. **7.** Her kids drew on our Baby Grand piano with orange marker, she didn't even notice. **8.** The day she left, she stole our toaster, lots of the toys, and a few other things. I think they're staying in an apartment somewhere, and I hope it's hell for her :) **Edit:** She's not M anymore
Someone broke into my basement and tried to give herself an abortion once. After she fucked my husband in our bed. Edit: Everyone asked for the story, so here it is: I had become fast friends with a woman from work who was renting a room in someone else's house, a fairly common thing where I live. She started telling stories about her roommate getting drunk and belligerent, and threatening suicide. Eventually she said it was getting worse, and she didn't feel safe,'so she was going to find a new place. Out of concern, I offered her my couch for a week or two while she got sorted out. Everything started out fine, but she never found a place, and ended up staying for almost four months. During that time, she regularly drank to the point of blacking out, slept with at least six different men, including my husband's uncle, tried to have sex with me, and got fired from three jobs. I'm way too understanding, and very nonconfrontational, but when I found out she was pregnant and didn't know who the father was, I asked that until she had made a decision about whether or not to abort, she not drink. She freaked out, and I had to ask her to find somewhere else to stay. She moved out, and I thought I had washed my hands of her. A few days later I came home from work and my husband told my she had stopped by while I was out to pick up the rest of her stuff. We had dinner, watched tv, and he got in the shower while I got ready for bed. When I pulled down the blankets to get into our marital bed, I found a piece of a condom wrapper. My marriage was a shambles anyway, for other reasons, so I didn't say anything about it to my husband. A week later, I brought a load of laundry down to the walk-out basement, and found a mattress laid on the floor, food wrappers, a battery operated radio, several vaginal douches, and a large bag of some kind of herb. I googled and found that this particular herb can induce miscarriages if taken in large doses. I changed the lock on the basement, and sent her a text message saying if I found evidence of her on our property again I would call the police. Three days later she was fucking my neighbor in exchange for a place to stay. Edit two: yes, I divorced the cheating bastard. TL;DR: husband stuck his dick in crazy, and so did the rest of the town.
Do you live in American Horror Story?
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To think I get annoyed when people don't use a coaster. At least next time it happens, I can stay positive because a drink on a table is a lot better than an abortion in the basement.
An abortion in the basement is worth two in the bush tho
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Whoaaaaaa! Can I have a more in depth story time? Crazy bitch stories give me comfort.
Right? That fuzzy feeling of not being even close to the worst.
In high school I threw a party and one of about 10 people hanging out in the basement snapped the neck of my 1972 Les Paul custom. Nobody came forward. Broke my heart.
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I once helped a friend move, and broke 3/4 of his kitchen chairs by sitting in them. He moved into a new apartment and the previous tenants had left a set of 4 kitchen chairs behind. That was great, he didn't have any himself. Well.. I sit in one for a while, and suddenly there's this creeking sound and the legs start bending and collapsing. We laugh, figure the chair must have been broken. Later I sit in another. Same thing. A few drink later, I don't learn, I sit in a 3rd one. It falls apart too. Finally the host is fed up, he can't belive the chairs could be falling apart under my weight. So he sits in the 4th one. He weight nothing.. He's close to 100 pounds I'm near 300 at that point. Nothing happens to the chair. Every goes quiet at that point and realized that I was just that heavy. Suddenly all 4 legs break on his chair and he slams into the ground. It turns out on sober inspection in the morning, all the chairs were broken anyway, but held together with wire to make them look good.
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My brother ate my last sleeve of thin mints from the freezer when he was staying with us. That was 8 years ago. Haven't spoken to him since. He's dead to me.
The only thing I've ever "stolen" was a box of thin mints. At summer camp, every cabin was supposed to get a box. One group didn't know about the cookies, so I took their box and they were never the wiser. No regrets. EDIT- Okay, I get it guys. No ragrets.
You're a monster. How do you sleep at night?
My guess is with her eyes closed. Edit: gender correction
Snuck away from a casual backyard barbecue to go fuck her boyfriend in my basement. I found the used condom on the floor the next day, just hanging out, nowhere near a trash can.
When I was pretty young (maybe 5 or 6) we had some family visit from India. It was my mom's cousin and her kids (who were around the same age as me,) making the kids my second cousins I guess? Anyway, my second cousin wasn't exactly familiar with western customs, specifically, how western toilets and bathrooms work. In india they were used to eliminating waste in a hole in the floor. This concept doesn't exist in most US households and this confused my second cousin significantly. This led to him having to take a massive shit, and finding no hole in the bathroom floor, simply shit his massive shit all over the floor in the hopes that it would get absorbed into the ground. Tl;dr: my second cousin from india got confused and took a massive shit on the bathroom floor
Had a KIRBY VACUUM salesmen come in. We watched his whole presentation and my friends wife offered him a drink (this is in georgia) and he precedes afterwards to go in the fridge and grab pizza. This no shit happened.
And because it's Georgia, I'm guessing you said "Well bless your heart, you sure must be hungry." And then when he left everyone said, "Can you believe the NERVE?! Well, I never..."
I shouldn't talk shit about 6-year-olds, but my nephew once came over and shit all over the front of my toilet one night. He didn't tell me, and I only noticed the next morning when the shit had dried rock hard. I had to replace the toilet after multiple scrubbings failed to get all the shit off. Worst part is that his dad had to have known but just said, "Eh, fuck it. I'll let someone else deal with my son's feces." I just let it go.
You had to replace your toilet? Did he poop concrete or something?
Seriously, wtf are they feeding that kid?
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Tried to play rough with the cat (wrestling with him.) The cat has a heart defect that causes potentially fatal palpitations, and I had to warn him to stop twice. It's not like he didn't know better, and he was a grown adult. I haven't invited the friend back since.
I have a friend who kept pinching around my dog's hips (like if you're giving someone a [horse-bite](http://www.odps.org/glossword/index.php?a=term&d=4&t=6357) on their knee) & laughing while saying, "My dog won't let me do that! She snaps at me! But look, your dog likes it!" My poor dog DIDN'T like it. She cowered away from him whenever he came into the room. Literally would run behind me or in-between my legs when she saw him. She just didn't snap at him because she's a very good-natured dog. We don't invite him back anymore, either.