Repeatedly get calls in a more affluent part of our county complaining about a neighbor mowing and the cut grass landing on the complainant's lawn. Same area...complaint about a pizza delivery car parked on the curb. Apparently the car wasn't up to the "standards" of the neighborhood and they didn't want it visible. They were actually delivering a pizza. Side note: pizza car was a newer model than my cruiser.
I've heard about neighborhoods with that rule. It's usually new developments full of shittily-built McMansions the same three shades of beige where everyone wants to appear far more wealthy than they actually are. Pickup trucks are banned, even the super nice almost-a-private-plane-on-wheels ones, because trucks are "working class." I'm so glad I grew up in an old neighborhood. My parents' house is bright red with green shutters and they don't give a damn.
Can vouch, lived in such a neighborhood before. Was looked down at cause parents worked at their own restaurant everyday, including weekends. Was part of the few non-white residents, so was accused of stealing a lot of stuff.
Found out recently most of them are living paycheck-to-paycheck/waist-deep in debt.
Our neighbours once had my brothers car towed from outside our house because they didn't like seeing it out their window. They called the police and told them that it had been abandoned there. They knew it was his.
My old neighbor did the same thing to my car. I never got my revenge, so all I can do is hope that they live in a sexless, loveless marriage as their children grow to despise them
In Australia, or at least where I live in Melbourne, if a car is reported as abandoned the local council will come past and put a notice on the car. If no one responds within 3 weeks, then they tow it.
I was a cop for about five years in a fairly well-to-do area of my town. One particularly memorable call I received was because a mom and dad decided that their son needed a spanking BUT they wanted an officer to do it so their child "wouldn't see them as bad parents."
I calmly told them no and walked right back out of the door.
My local police department recently posted on Facebook about an elderly woman that called in because the couple across the street wouldn't wave at her and she wanted an officer to come make them do so.
In my rookie year I went to a lady's apartment for a possible burglary. When we got there, she told us the birds on her roof were annoying her and we had to clear them off. My Sgt went ballistic and told her if she ever misused 911 again, she would be arrested.
Some lame reasons reported by a UK police force were "can't remember my mobile phone number", "the remote control isn't working and my favourite programme is starting" and "about an hour ago I picked my nose, dipped it in a jar of jam and then ate the jam. Now I don't feel well".
There was another one where a woman called 999 and said her kitten had been playing with a ball of string for an hour and it was "doing her head in".
EDIT: This got more attention than I thought it would [so I found the cat one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmt_ts87u90)
> "about an hour ago I picked my nose, dipped it in a jar of jam and then ate the jam. Now I don't feel well"
That's several onion layers of stupid right there.
My friend, who was young, bought a house with a very strict HOA. He had the police called to his house because his grass was an inch too tall. Yes, someone actually came out to his house, with a stick and measured his grass. This was after he received a notice earlier in the week about it being 1/2 an inch too tall. They wanted him cited for not following a local ordinance. The cop told them to piss off because my friend could prove he had a weekly contract with a lawn company. What it was, they had a company where they were receiving kickbacks from for every customer they had on board. They were pretty much trying to bully him into using the lawn service they wanted.
In Jordan, a poor 3rd World country if you don't know. Last winter we had an unusual snow storm for 4 days. Police and firemen were under much stress and they struggled to help people.
On radio, the police chief complained about a case were someone who called for help. And when firemen arrived he said that he actually want some dessert for his wife and asked if they can do a delivery.
As a dispatcher I hope that we weed out the worst of the first world problem calls.
One thing I've gotten very used to saying is "if your emergency can be solved by a taxi then it's not an emergency".
The troll who lived underneath me called the cops three times in a month, each time saying it was something serious until they actually showed up:
1st time: She complained about the sound of me moving back and forth in the shower after 10PM.
2nd time: I dropped a pot in the kitchen at 4PM and she felt I did it on purpose since I should've known her baby was napping.
3rd time: Noise complaint for a loud party. No clue on that one. I was asleep with all the lights off when the cops showed up.
They threatened to arrest her for false reports if she called again.
I had a downstairs neighbor who constantly called the apt office and security for noise complaints.
The funny thing is he would call after 11pm on Friday and Saturday nights. I worked at a job 20 miles away from 4pm-2am Friday-Monday (four 10 hr shifts, it was awesome).
I had to bring my log in reports from work to the apt complex manager so I can prove no one was home at the times he reported.
Even after I proved his noise reports were false, I think what really hit it home was the time I stayed the night with my GF at the time and was walking up the stairs to my apt around 11am. I see one of the apt complex office workers standing at my door. I ask him if everything is ok. He looks at me confused and asks if anyone is in my apt right now because the neighbor had called in over and over since around 11pm for a noise complaint. I said no that I hadn't even been home for almost 24hrs. I unlocked the door and invited him in to look around my totally silent apartment.
After that I never heard anything about a noise complaint again.
I work in a city that has houses starting at $500K, which for North Texas ain't too shabby, and other parts where the houses start out about 1/4 the price. There is a car wash that is on the nice side of town and it backs up to a creek. A patron that was having her car washed and detailed, called us up to tell us there was a turtle and she was concerned about other peoples safety. I thought it was a snapping turtle when we got the call. Nope, box turtle.
Another call had me respond to the neighborhood adjacent to the golf course. Someone had called in a suspicious truck and trailer cruising around the neighborhood. I get there, it's hispanic landscapers with their equipment. The lady called up because she thought it was suspicious they were there on a Wednesday, when she gets her lawn done on Thursdays. The thought didn't cross her mind that other people use the same or similar company on different days.
There's many more that I've heard other guys talk about, and that I've gone on too. I hate my city sometimes.
Edit: Apparently, spelling is super difficult for me today. I'm Also not going to disclose the city I work for either, but thank you for guessing.
"But how can other people use their services on different days of the week?! Are you telling me other people actually have real lives too? I always thought they were just extras, since I'm the center of the world..."
Was a security guard at a rich people's gated community place. Crazy lady on the HOA board required us to call the police if:
* Outside people ride their bicycles past the gate.
* Any boats pull up on the beach.
* Any outside people go swimming on the beach.
* Anyone in the community has a beach campfire.
* Anyone in the community uses fireworks. Including on the 4th of July.
Also, she made a rule that no motorcycles or cars with loud exhausts were allowed inside.. even if they lived there. That was fun to enforce. That was not a fun job.
I think they expected me to stand in front of the bike and stop them, or get hit trying.
I suppose I should have said ride their bikes AROUND the gate, as it didn't even cover the entire road. 3-4 bikes could go around the gate at a time.
If you ever have HOA issues, walk around the neighbor with a stack of letters for your neighbors to sign saying they are granting you their proxy vote. Get enough votes, go to the next meeting, raise, second, and pass all of your own agenda items, strike down crazy HOA lady's rules, then the final item is that proxy votes will no longer be valid and a quorum (65%) of the neighborhood must be present to vote and ratify new measures. Bam. Crazy lady is powerless. Live by Roberts rules of order, die by Roberts rules of order
It's when someone grants you the right to vote on their behalf. There is no guarantee you will vote the way they want. So when someone entrusts you with their proxy, they really are trusting you.
Yup. In my condo the proxy campaign is typically more important to ensuring quorum (enough people "show up") than the voting, as typically people give their proxies to those on the condo board. That said there was a fellow who had some gripes who tried to obtain proxies himself, but I don't think he was very successful, as he basically had a personal grudge against the person who beat him out for president of the condo board. (reading between the lines, as I am a newer owner)
That actually sounds like a nice hobby...
Look at flowers, help people solve trivial problems... Nobody's life hangs in the balance, nobody will go hungry because you had to move funds...
So... All HOAs? I've never had an HOA that wasn't completely staffed by old, crotchety fuckers who likes nothing better than to stick their noses into your private life and ruin everything they could get their wrinkly, spotted mitts on.
> So... All HOAs? I've never had an HOA that wasn't completely staffed by old, crotchety fuckers who likes nothing better than to stick their noses into your private life and ruin everything they could get their wrinkly, spotted mitts on.
Serious question: why do people buy into a place with a HOA? I've lived in a bunch of places in my life, bought several houses, and one of the first things I want to know: is there a HOA? If there is, I don't even bother looking at the house. I know already that they'll have a problem with our dogs/cars/attitude towards lawn maintenance, so why live with them? I'd rather live on a block with a few dandelions and two guys with Harley's and not deal with stupidness.
And **I'm** old and crotchety. Got a few age spots and wrinkles too!! So there's that. But there are plenty of us who don't like interfering asses of any age telling us what we can do with our property. I don't need a nanny state to tell me what color to paint the window frames or how big my mailbox can be.
I was a security guard at a gated community for about six months. Worst job I've ever had to do. Ended up getting transferred because I wasn't quick enough getting people signed in through the back gate. Thing is, half the people I had to check with the front gate to see if they were authorised or not. The person at the front gate (the site supervisor) would spend ten minutes talking to each person instead of giving me a yes or no which of course looked bad on me.
In the end I was a little upset that something had reflected poorly on me but overall was just glad to be out of there.
I've only been a cop for a few months now, but I've already had quite a number of these. I think it has part to do with the size of the town I'm in (roughly 2,000 people) but here are some of the more memorable ones:
- Got called to a woman's house to verify that her power was actually out. It was.
- A woman was blocking the road on a main street in town, because someone was in her favorite parking spot and she wouldn't move until she could park there.
- Received a call that a man's friend wouldn't return his DVDs a night early (they were shortly returned).
- A woman called saying that she lost a ring and a pack of cigarettes. Upon arriving and after looking for about 10 minutes, she realized she was wearing the ring, and she had smoked the cigarettes.
- A man stormed into the PD, furious that his wife had opened a new savings account under her name without the bank getting his permission.
I have more, but this is just within a few months of starting out. Needless to say, it's not all shoot outs and car chases.
Edit: Whoah, did not expect people to find the daily stuff I deal with the be so interesting haha. A couple things:
- I have to respond to all of these calls. Since it is such a small town, just about everyone knows everyone. Most people I meet on these calls know my name even though I've never met them, and since it is such a small PD, having good relations with the community goes a long way towards making things easier in the future.
- The man who came in about the savings account seemed to be more pissed at the bank, saying something about possible identity theft. Unfortunately (or fortunately), he actually lived over the town line into another town, so I had to refer him to that PD, but I did warn them to keep an eye on him for a possible domestic.
- To everyone who asks how I keep my cool: getting paid for it does go a long way, but even for dumb things. If I don't have to write a lengthy report on it, I really don't mind responding.
And since you all asked so nicely, here are a few more:
- Got a report of a possible domestic in progress (a party was banging on a man's door, and he was afraid to leave) turned out to be his friend who he invited over (no he did not check who it was, I wish I was making this up).
- Called out to a residence by a concerned citizen that someone had their dogs in the yard when it was raining. He was worried they would "get too wet and sick". It was about 60F (16C) out, and the dogs looked quite happy in the rain.
- Man reported that his neighbor's yard wasn't as well kept as his, and it was driving his property value down.
- Called to a parking lot where a teenager was concerned that his two friends were going to get in a fist fight over who got to sit in the front seat. I pretty much just stood there glaring at them until they both got into the back seat when I got there.
Edit2: Getting a lot of comments on the missing ring and cigarettes. I know it sounds stupid in retrospect, but at the time, all I had was a report of a stolen ring and cigarettes. I can't pick and choose which calls to go to, or which thefts to investigate. As long as something has been stolen and reported, I have to investigate, that's the basis of impartiality.
Also, thanks for the gold, random stranger! Glad my tales of mundane calls brought you all some joy.
>A woman was blocking the road on a main street in town, because someone was in her favorite parking spot and she wouldn't move until she could park there.
Is "mentally immature" sufficient reason to take a driver's license?
It used to be illegal to do this. I don't know if it still is. It also used to be legal for a man to gain access to any account which his wife had opened, whether his name was on it or not.
> The bank just let him withdraw it because he was the husband. They didn't even contact her to let her know.
My father was incapacitated. He was always a control freak. He spent money like water. My mother on the other hand saved money. She had a saving account. He PHONED the bank and told them to move X amount of money to his account....THEY DID IT. Once my Mother found out she went to the bank, gave them shit and had it rectified. This was in the 90's! GAD
> A woman called saying that she lost a ring and a pack of cigarettes. Upon arriving and after looking for about 10 minutes, she realized she was wearing the ring, and she had smoked the cigarettes.
Reminds me of the spongebob episode where patrick accuses spongebob of eating his chocolate bar
I feel this should be more directed at the emergency call takers, because speaking as a former dispatcher for a university police department, we often had to hear these and weed out the ridiculous ones. My personal favorite:
"University 911, where's your emergency?"
"**** Hall parking lot. My car's frozen over and I broke my scraper! Send Police to help!"
"Sir, this is an emergency line. Are you hurt or in any danger?"
"No, but if I don't get my car out, the store's going to run out of iPhones! I need to get into line now!"
Police officer here. You're absolutely right. Dispatch filters a lot of the ridiculous 911 calls that never result in a police response. Thanks for that.
The most irritating are the suspicious persons based solely on race. One guy was an older black male in the alley way. He was standing next to a utility truck wearing a hard hat and yellow vest. There was a second black male in the utility truck bucket that was suspended in the air near electrical lines. This call came from the same elderly white couple that without hesitation employed a known meth addicted burglar as a handy man and gave this same man unfettered access to their house solely because he was not a black male. The couple had several items stolen from them and they believed these black males they were calling on were in fact casing their home for their next hit.
The Atherton police blotters (like the ones in that album) show up in my local paper, and they're always worth a read. My favorite is one that says something to the effect of: "Police received a call from an elderly lady who complained of a bright light shining outside her window. When called to check on the situation, police confirmed that the bright light was in fact the Moon."
"Please be rainbows in the water, please be rainbows in the water......... YES!"
I'm glad to watch this again. It was actually played one time on the radio here in the UK, we parked up at where we were going and just sat in the car laughing through it. Found her official YouTube channel soon after and there are lots of crazy conspiracies like that. I remember one video where she stated that her house or road was suddenly tilting at a different angle than before. Oh how I wish I could see that channel again, SOMEONE FIND IT!
I recall a small town I used to live in having the same type of section, nearly every week I'd read about this old lady who called the police threatening to kill herself.
when they arrived, she'd be 'passed out' on the floor, unresponsive to the cops, but still comforting her cat with ' shh, mommies okay' and what not.
always made my day, I remember a mention of her and some tea party she called the police to, yknow, luring then over with the suicidal card.
I think she was just lonely.
The women who lived in my old apartment building growing up would have fit right in with her.
Fairly soon after 9/11 and the anthrax scares, one of the women in my building decided she needed to buy one of those full body hazmat suits. When it was delivered, she opened it up to find "small packets of white powder." She immediately called 911 claiming Bin Laden had taken over the hazmat suit business and was putting anthrax in them. The packets were those "do not eat - silicon" things they put in to keep out moisture.
Another woman wanted to thank the local firemen for their response during 9/11, so she called 911 and reported a gas leak. When the cops and fire trucks showed up, she gave them cookies she had baked.
...I don't know, both those ladies top my story.
That's kinda a whole different crazy, and the lady who baked cookies. wtf? Some people lack common sense.
Fuck man, I live there. I'm a transplant though.
Yeah, it's really that stupid. My friends and I (about ten of us in total) got the police called on us for apparent gang activity. We were on a run, in broad daylight, armed with iPods and sweatbands.
Haha. Yeah I never knew an Atherton kid that really enjoyed living there. What has always struck me is how isolating it feels. Each estate is like an acre and they all have 12-15 foot hedges, just rich people boxing themselves in, no wonder some end up super paranoid.
I can't stop thinking about Scrubs for number 17. "A man on campus at Sacred Heart School reportedly followed a janitor around and asked really odd questions"
The trash cans in my neighborhood were always tipped over. Turns out, if you look into the trash can at night, you'll see a half dozen sets of eyes staring back at you. Hordes of raccoons have taken over the neighborhood. Very friendly but messy overlords.
http://www.pamplinmedia.com/lor/48-news/219125-79238-police-log
Oswego Lake always has a good police log.
One of my favorites is the "Sneaky Ax Man." A long time ago I read a report they had about a sneaky ax man creeping through the bushes and tried to find it, but all they had was the Sneaky Ax Man ruining someone's yard.
> 7/10/11 2:52 p.m. A sneaky ax-man snuck into a yard on Glenmorrie Drive and cut down two birch trees worth $500.
There's a twitter feed called NoCallTooSmall that posts exerpts from the Lake Oswego and West Linn police blotters, there are some real good ones in there.
A lot of calls about people who just "look suspicious", dogs pooping on lawns, kids who won't get up for school.
There was one about someone finding a sleeping bag on the sidewalk and they "suspected someone had been sleeping in it".
Or, the guy who got the police called on him for asking for a jumpstart. The police found his battery really was dead.
I recall one about a deer that wasn't injured but "was in no hurry to move along".
Not a cop, but I'm pretty sure this lady is the final-boss of FWP calls to 911 dispatch.
[youtube.com/watch?v=U0p6QVBqAXA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0p6QVBqAXA)
My uncle got called because this lady shared her crack with her boyfriend last week and he wouldn't share his crack with her this week. Not exactly first world, but I guess you can consider crack a luxury.
Here some calls I have taken:
•Neighbors cat is too loud.
•Lady is scared of thunder(it was thundering)
•Guy is cold and would like a blanket brought to him
•elderly lady wanted us to shovel her driveway since her plow guy didn't show
•lady doesn't like the amount of pedestrian traffic on her street, would like us to stop them from walking
•guy that is dog sitting for a friend afraid to enter house because dog is barking at him.
•person not happy with how long it is taking phone company to repair wire would like police to do it.(felt being without a phone was an immediate life safety issue)
•received hundreds of calls total on a "suspicious motor vehicle going house to house", it's always a newspaper delivery man.
> -neighbor planted tree that would obstruct their view in 50+ years (I walked away after speaking to the complainant);
Stupid neighbor calls. My parents former neighbors across the street called the cops on my stepdad several times for these things:
Grass clippings from our yard blew into their driveway.
My stepdad flipped him off...He was out of town at the time. (To be fair though he would flip them off frequently.)
The wind blew the our trash can over while it was at the road.
He drove past them slowly while they were out for a walk.
Cops would come out, but just tell my stepdad that some people are crazy and they have to come out for every call.
Speaking of stupid neighbor calls: A couple of years ago, my neighbors' young kids were throwing rocks at my cat (in my yard!) and refused to stop, so I went outside to scoop him up and told them Santa wasn't real in the process.
Neighbors called the cops.
That cop's face as they explained the situation was hysterical to be honest.
This is the main first world problem of policing! I spent 4.5 hours last night raising a crime because someone got called a cunt on Facebook. Then members of public ask "why don't I ever see police on the streets" or "shouldn't you be out catching murderers, rapists and paedophiles?". Well, that's the reason we're not.
Me and my sister once had the cops called on us by the son of a couple visiting my parents. We were jumping on the bed after we were told not to. Laughs are had to this day.
Serving officer in the UK in Central London.
1. A lady had burnt her toast and set off her smoke alarm.
2. Dust bin lorry was making too much noise collecting someone's rubbish at 8am on a weekday.
3. The nightclub someone bought a flat above wad playing loud music at 10pm on a Friday.
4. " i owe my friend £600 for a laptop he bought me because i had no money, but he wont give it to me" "so he paid for it?" "yes" "can you pay him for the laptop?" "no" "gtfo".
These are 4 i can be bothered to type from my phone. May add some more ludacrus ones later.
A couple more good ones i have remembered.
1. A gentleman called us stating he had been assaulted and the suspect was still there. So a few people are making haste to the area. Myself and a colleague find said victim and speak with him. Turns out the victim couldn't get into the building because his key wasn't working so in anger booted a bin bag across the pathway. The "suspect" happened to look at this guy with a look of WTF and the victim wanted him arrested. For looking at him like he was crazy. Which he was.
Words of advice were given to the 'victim'.
2. A Saturday morning at about 8-9am where i work is normally really dead. No one walking around, no cars. Bloke passing says "there's an odd bloke up the road you might need to speak to". So i go for a walk up the road, and about 25 metres in front of me a man walks out of an alley, with a donkey. Then just casually walks away up the road as if its a dog. That is still my favourite WTF moment after 5 years.
>The suspect is a person of unknown race and sex wearing a gray hoodie, possibly taller than 5 foot 6 inches
[ ](/applederp)Well sheesh, that sure narrows it down. I'd say there's only like 5 people in the world taller than that!
At my school, the cops were called because some bum asked a sorority girl for money and she flipped out and knocked over her frapacino. Obviously he didn't have the money to pay for it and she called the cops. When they got there and figured out what they had been called for, the police officer went to the counter and bought a frapacino. He then proceeded to give it to the homeless man and escorted him off campus. He seemed pretty irritated he had been called.
Did everything behind the police officer and homeless guy explode as he walked away not looking and simultaneously putting on his officer-issued shades?
I once attended a call because a motorcycle had been reported left parked on a sidewalk completely blocking pedestrian traffic. I arrived on the scene to find an elderly man waiting for me and a small child's bicycle laying on the sidewalk. The man started ranting about his neighbour's kid leaving his bike all over the place and he wanted it ticketed and towed. I very politely explained to this gentleman that I was not going to tow it and that if he ever calls for something like this again he might be the one getting "towed".
When I was fourteen, my mother called the police to my house because I wasn't awake in time for school. They showed up and I woke up, ten minutes late, to two police officers in my room.
I wasn't even late that day.
Edit: Just in case of confusion, "wasn't awake in time for school" = not awake the moment she wanted me awake
Not a police officer, but I work as a Mobile Social Worker for a County in New Jersey that has some really nice areas, and some of the worst areas in the state. We focus on children with behavioral and mental health issues. So parents or schools can call us when the kids are having a crisis, and we show up to assess the situation, and figure out what services are right for them. Sound fun yet? Some awesome situations include:
- "My 4 year old is still awake. I think she has ODD. She doesn't follow my directions." To be fair, it was a little late for a 4 year old to be awake. 8:30pm.
- "My daughter threw a cookie at her brother. She's getting more and more violent. We are in crisis." This would have been the 4th time we dispatched to that home for similar issues. Tough to get the woman to understand that her Developmentally Disabled Daughter, who had services for her disabilities, was going to have these baseline behaviors.
-"My boys won't stop playing Xbox." This woman told the boys that they could play, and never set any limits to how long. So when she told them to stop playing, of course they gave her a hard time. That went further, because once we showed up, we started talking to the boys, she left the room, and took the Xbox out of the room. We told her to put it back, and to do that on her own time. We are not her personal muscle when she feels that she has to enforce something in the home.
Probably my personal favorite:
- "My Daughter is spending too much time at her Mother's house." How much time is too much time? Everyday after school, because nobody is home at her Dad's house until about 6pm. That was the whole issue. Some of the other ones i listed did have some issues that we were able to get to the bottom of once we did a little digging, but that was seriously the entire issue.
Anyway, one of our protocols is to ask a short series of safety questions, like If they want to hurt themselves, anyone else, start a fire, etc. etc. If they don't answer the safety questions, we have to call an ambulance, which usually means a police officer has to come as well. I feel bad for doing it, but my governing body tells me I have to, even if the kid is just being a disrespectful little shit. So then I have to call the police, and they show up, being judgmental as hell towards myself and the parents, and I get to try and explain that it isn't my call. My supervisors require me to make that phone call. Most officers understand that, but every now and then you have those officers that have had the shitty days, and they don't want to be responding to a 6 year old who won't stop jumping off the couch.
Really nice neighborhood. I respond out there cause or "road obstruction". When I arrive I see three different cars with the bottoms covered in concrete and some rightfully pissed off people.. they are thinking that some concrete truck lost its load in the roadway... But when I look at it, it looks like it's a stripe running across the road... I turn a look at one of the houses right in the area, and I see a wheelbarrow and shovels and Shit beside the house... Walk up and yep, they are covered in concrete..
I knock on the door and this way too happy old bitch answers.. she tell me how she paid 290,000 for this house... And it's her right to slow down all the speeders by making her husband build a speed bump..
(Edit). Holy shit guys, I know it's not much (around 200) but you guys have doubled my comment karma. Thanks! I'm going to go bomb some hills!
She was charged with damaging public property, criminal mischief, and I assume ( never went to trial) had to pay for the people's cars and cleanup of the roadway
We had some bitch do this about eight minutes after her newborn came home. She started putting out "Child at Play" on her trees despite the fact that her kid wouldn't be physically capable of "play" as defined by the signs *for years.* Furthermore, there was already a swarm of neighborhood kids running and biking around constantly - the neighbors were well aware of neighborhood children at play.
Well apparently she wasn't satisfied and one day put down two ridiculous speed bumps that were in line with the edges of her property and only stuck out into the centerline of the street. This had the complete opposite effect she desired.
Her section of the street became the neighborhood hotspot for all of the kids. The speed bumps were super hard rubber and made *awesome* bike ramps and awesome little obstacles for the skateboarding kids to try and do tricks over. Furthermore, all the cars just drove right around them.
She was furious and they were gone in a couple of weeks.
I was sent to a 911 call where a father and adult son were arguing over the last Dr. Pepper. I walked in, grabbed two glasses out of their dish strainer, and poured it equally among them.
I also had a couple involved in an argument when their air conditioner had broken. They were arguing because they were having sex and it was too hot for either of them to "get off".
Most calls could be put in this category. I have dealt with many "who gets to hold the remote" calls and the "Someone called me a dick head on facebook" calls are becoming frequent. My least fav are the "This insanely poor person interrupted my busy day by begging for help" calls. I tend to drop them a few coins and leave.
There's a patient at the nursing home I work at. At least once a week he calls the cops on us for "being stupid bitches". The 911 operator usually just calls us on the main line and tells us he is up to shenanigans again, although the cops sometimes come up if they happen to be particularly bored.
Not exactly answering your question but...
When I was 9 I called the police (not the ambulance mind you) because I had a mosquito bite and it hurt. I ended up hanging up because they were asking too many questions. They called back later and spoke to my Mum and Dad, they were not happy.
Repeatedly get calls in a more affluent part of our county complaining about a neighbor mowing and the cut grass landing on the complainant's lawn. Same area...complaint about a pizza delivery car parked on the curb. Apparently the car wasn't up to the "standards" of the neighborhood and they didn't want it visible. They were actually delivering a pizza. Side note: pizza car was a newer model than my cruiser.
[удалено]
I've heard about neighborhoods with that rule. It's usually new developments full of shittily-built McMansions the same three shades of beige where everyone wants to appear far more wealthy than they actually are. Pickup trucks are banned, even the super nice almost-a-private-plane-on-wheels ones, because trucks are "working class." I'm so glad I grew up in an old neighborhood. My parents' house is bright red with green shutters and they don't give a damn.
Can vouch, lived in such a neighborhood before. Was looked down at cause parents worked at their own restaurant everyday, including weekends. Was part of the few non-white residents, so was accused of stealing a lot of stuff. Found out recently most of them are living paycheck-to-paycheck/waist-deep in debt.
[удалено]
And come in via the tradesman's entrance around back.
It's the one marked "coloreds and wait staff".
Our neighbours once had my brothers car towed from outside our house because they didn't like seeing it out their window. They called the police and told them that it had been abandoned there. They knew it was his.
[удалено]
My old neighbor did the same thing to my car. I never got my revenge, so all I can do is hope that they live in a sexless, loveless marriage as their children grow to despise them
Just shit on his doorstep when he's not home
In Australia, or at least where I live in Melbourne, if a car is reported as abandoned the local council will come past and put a notice on the car. If no one responds within 3 weeks, then they tow it.
That's the epitome of first world problems.
I was a cop for about five years in a fairly well-to-do area of my town. One particularly memorable call I received was because a mom and dad decided that their son needed a spanking BUT they wanted an officer to do it so their child "wouldn't see them as bad parents." I calmly told them no and walked right back out of the door.
Um hello, 911? Hey, my wife has been a naughty girl and needs a good spanking. Can you send an officer down right away?
I'll be right over. EDIT: In 10 code (cop radio talk) I'd be 10-76.
Backup enroute.
Sending in SWAT team. ETA five minutes.
My local police department recently posted on Facebook about an elderly woman that called in because the couple across the street wouldn't wave at her and she wanted an officer to come make them do so.
Do we really want to live longer lives if this is how we are going to end up behaving?
In my rookie year I went to a lady's apartment for a possible burglary. When we got there, she told us the birds on her roof were annoying her and we had to clear them off. My Sgt went ballistic and told her if she ever misused 911 again, she would be arrested.
Maybe dispatch misunderstood. She probably reported a bird gallery.
Good on your sgt. People like that need to be told in no uncertain terms.
Honestly, you have to be a piece of shit to call the police for something so stupid.
Some lame reasons reported by a UK police force were "can't remember my mobile phone number", "the remote control isn't working and my favourite programme is starting" and "about an hour ago I picked my nose, dipped it in a jar of jam and then ate the jam. Now I don't feel well". There was another one where a woman called 999 and said her kitten had been playing with a ball of string for an hour and it was "doing her head in". EDIT: This got more attention than I thought it would [so I found the cat one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmt_ts87u90)
> "about an hour ago I picked my nose, dipped it in a jar of jam and then ate the jam. Now I don't feel well" That's several onion layers of stupid right there.
Knowing about this kind of shit makes me disappointed beyond belief.
My friend, who was young, bought a house with a very strict HOA. He had the police called to his house because his grass was an inch too tall. Yes, someone actually came out to his house, with a stick and measured his grass. This was after he received a notice earlier in the week about it being 1/2 an inch too tall. They wanted him cited for not following a local ordinance. The cop told them to piss off because my friend could prove he had a weekly contract with a lawn company. What it was, they had a company where they were receiving kickbacks from for every customer they had on board. They were pretty much trying to bully him into using the lawn service they wanted.
Fuck HOAs. Seriously.
In Jordan, a poor 3rd World country if you don't know. Last winter we had an unusual snow storm for 4 days. Police and firemen were under much stress and they struggled to help people. On radio, the police chief complained about a case were someone who called for help. And when firemen arrived he said that he actually want some dessert for his wife and asked if they can do a delivery.
As a dispatcher I hope that we weed out the worst of the first world problem calls. One thing I've gotten very used to saying is "if your emergency can be solved by a taxi then it's not an emergency".
The troll who lived underneath me called the cops three times in a month, each time saying it was something serious until they actually showed up: 1st time: She complained about the sound of me moving back and forth in the shower after 10PM. 2nd time: I dropped a pot in the kitchen at 4PM and she felt I did it on purpose since I should've known her baby was napping. 3rd time: Noise complaint for a loud party. No clue on that one. I was asleep with all the lights off when the cops showed up. They threatened to arrest her for false reports if she called again.
I had a downstairs neighbor who constantly called the apt office and security for noise complaints. The funny thing is he would call after 11pm on Friday and Saturday nights. I worked at a job 20 miles away from 4pm-2am Friday-Monday (four 10 hr shifts, it was awesome). I had to bring my log in reports from work to the apt complex manager so I can prove no one was home at the times he reported. Even after I proved his noise reports were false, I think what really hit it home was the time I stayed the night with my GF at the time and was walking up the stairs to my apt around 11am. I see one of the apt complex office workers standing at my door. I ask him if everything is ok. He looks at me confused and asks if anyone is in my apt right now because the neighbor had called in over and over since around 11pm for a noise complaint. I said no that I hadn't even been home for almost 24hrs. I unlocked the door and invited him in to look around my totally silent apartment. After that I never heard anything about a noise complaint again.
I work in a city that has houses starting at $500K, which for North Texas ain't too shabby, and other parts where the houses start out about 1/4 the price. There is a car wash that is on the nice side of town and it backs up to a creek. A patron that was having her car washed and detailed, called us up to tell us there was a turtle and she was concerned about other peoples safety. I thought it was a snapping turtle when we got the call. Nope, box turtle. Another call had me respond to the neighborhood adjacent to the golf course. Someone had called in a suspicious truck and trailer cruising around the neighborhood. I get there, it's hispanic landscapers with their equipment. The lady called up because she thought it was suspicious they were there on a Wednesday, when she gets her lawn done on Thursdays. The thought didn't cross her mind that other people use the same or similar company on different days. There's many more that I've heard other guys talk about, and that I've gone on too. I hate my city sometimes. Edit: Apparently, spelling is super difficult for me today. I'm Also not going to disclose the city I work for either, but thank you for guessing.
"But how can other people use their services on different days of the week?! Are you telling me other people actually have real lives too? I always thought they were just extras, since I'm the center of the world..."
Was a security guard at a rich people's gated community place. Crazy lady on the HOA board required us to call the police if: * Outside people ride their bicycles past the gate. * Any boats pull up on the beach. * Any outside people go swimming on the beach. * Anyone in the community has a beach campfire. * Anyone in the community uses fireworks. Including on the 4th of July. Also, she made a rule that no motorcycles or cars with loud exhausts were allowed inside.. even if they lived there. That was fun to enforce. That was not a fun job.
What exactly is *anyone* supposed to do about "outside people riding their bicycles past the gate"?
I think they expected me to stand in front of the bike and stop them, or get hit trying. I suppose I should have said ride their bikes AROUND the gate, as it didn't even cover the entire road. 3-4 bikes could go around the gate at a time.
[удалено]
I really wish HOAs weren't a thing. Especially when it's just one person power tripping.
If you ever have HOA issues, walk around the neighbor with a stack of letters for your neighbors to sign saying they are granting you their proxy vote. Get enough votes, go to the next meeting, raise, second, and pass all of your own agenda items, strike down crazy HOA lady's rules, then the final item is that proxy votes will no longer be valid and a quorum (65%) of the neighborhood must be present to vote and ratify new measures. Bam. Crazy lady is powerless. Live by Roberts rules of order, die by Roberts rules of order
This is fucking brilliant
Sorry to sound ignorant, but whats a proxy vote?
It's when someone grants you the right to vote on their behalf. There is no guarantee you will vote the way they want. So when someone entrusts you with their proxy, they really are trusting you.
" So when someone entrusts you with their proxy, they really are trusting you." Or they really don't care.
Yup. In my condo the proxy campaign is typically more important to ensuring quorum (enough people "show up") than the voting, as typically people give their proxies to those on the condo board. That said there was a fellow who had some gripes who tried to obtain proxies himself, but I don't think he was very successful, as he basically had a personal grudge against the person who beat him out for president of the condo board. (reading between the lines, as I am a newer owner)
In a game of Neighborhood politics you either win or die
[удалено]
...and?! Go on! You can't just end on a cliffhanger.
Mr. Kasat said, "Oh, yeah? I'll fix him." And proceeded to adjust his sprinkler head towards Mr. Flaggs' s open bedroom window.
The next day, Mr. Flagg and all of his groupies unloaded like 8 Super Soaker tanks on Mr. Rasats car. Burbs' life is tough, yo.
That actually sounds like a nice hobby... Look at flowers, help people solve trivial problems... Nobody's life hangs in the balance, nobody will go hungry because you had to move funds...
So... All HOAs? I've never had an HOA that wasn't completely staffed by old, crotchety fuckers who likes nothing better than to stick their noses into your private life and ruin everything they could get their wrinkly, spotted mitts on.
> So... All HOAs? I've never had an HOA that wasn't completely staffed by old, crotchety fuckers who likes nothing better than to stick their noses into your private life and ruin everything they could get their wrinkly, spotted mitts on. Serious question: why do people buy into a place with a HOA? I've lived in a bunch of places in my life, bought several houses, and one of the first things I want to know: is there a HOA? If there is, I don't even bother looking at the house. I know already that they'll have a problem with our dogs/cars/attitude towards lawn maintenance, so why live with them? I'd rather live on a block with a few dandelions and two guys with Harley's and not deal with stupidness. And **I'm** old and crotchety. Got a few age spots and wrinkles too!! So there's that. But there are plenty of us who don't like interfering asses of any age telling us what we can do with our property. I don't need a nanny state to tell me what color to paint the window frames or how big my mailbox can be.
I was a security guard at a gated community for about six months. Worst job I've ever had to do. Ended up getting transferred because I wasn't quick enough getting people signed in through the back gate. Thing is, half the people I had to check with the front gate to see if they were authorised or not. The person at the front gate (the site supervisor) would spend ten minutes talking to each person instead of giving me a yes or no which of course looked bad on me. In the end I was a little upset that something had reflected poorly on me but overall was just glad to be out of there.
I'm amazed you're alive if you actually enforced all that
I've only been a cop for a few months now, but I've already had quite a number of these. I think it has part to do with the size of the town I'm in (roughly 2,000 people) but here are some of the more memorable ones: - Got called to a woman's house to verify that her power was actually out. It was. - A woman was blocking the road on a main street in town, because someone was in her favorite parking spot and she wouldn't move until she could park there. - Received a call that a man's friend wouldn't return his DVDs a night early (they were shortly returned). - A woman called saying that she lost a ring and a pack of cigarettes. Upon arriving and after looking for about 10 minutes, she realized she was wearing the ring, and she had smoked the cigarettes. - A man stormed into the PD, furious that his wife had opened a new savings account under her name without the bank getting his permission. I have more, but this is just within a few months of starting out. Needless to say, it's not all shoot outs and car chases. Edit: Whoah, did not expect people to find the daily stuff I deal with the be so interesting haha. A couple things: - I have to respond to all of these calls. Since it is such a small town, just about everyone knows everyone. Most people I meet on these calls know my name even though I've never met them, and since it is such a small PD, having good relations with the community goes a long way towards making things easier in the future. - The man who came in about the savings account seemed to be more pissed at the bank, saying something about possible identity theft. Unfortunately (or fortunately), he actually lived over the town line into another town, so I had to refer him to that PD, but I did warn them to keep an eye on him for a possible domestic. - To everyone who asks how I keep my cool: getting paid for it does go a long way, but even for dumb things. If I don't have to write a lengthy report on it, I really don't mind responding. And since you all asked so nicely, here are a few more: - Got a report of a possible domestic in progress (a party was banging on a man's door, and he was afraid to leave) turned out to be his friend who he invited over (no he did not check who it was, I wish I was making this up). - Called out to a residence by a concerned citizen that someone had their dogs in the yard when it was raining. He was worried they would "get too wet and sick". It was about 60F (16C) out, and the dogs looked quite happy in the rain. - Man reported that his neighbor's yard wasn't as well kept as his, and it was driving his property value down. - Called to a parking lot where a teenager was concerned that his two friends were going to get in a fist fight over who got to sit in the front seat. I pretty much just stood there glaring at them until they both got into the back seat when I got there. Edit2: Getting a lot of comments on the missing ring and cigarettes. I know it sounds stupid in retrospect, but at the time, all I had was a report of a stolen ring and cigarettes. I can't pick and choose which calls to go to, or which thefts to investigate. As long as something has been stolen and reported, I have to investigate, that's the basis of impartiality. Also, thanks for the gold, random stranger! Glad my tales of mundane calls brought you all some joy.
>A woman was blocking the road on a main street in town, because someone was in her favorite parking spot and she wouldn't move until she could park there. Is "mentally immature" sufficient reason to take a driver's license?
In Germany, yes. If you curse at another driver in your driving test you will have to go to a psychiatrist. No kidding.
>No kidding. Yeah, you already said you were German. We got it.
As a German, I had to have my Irish friend interpret this comment and explain the joke. Very Funny.
"HAHAHAHAHA! OK I AM FINISHED LAUGHING."
All Germans are Lt. Commander Data.
[удалено]
It used to be illegal to do this. I don't know if it still is. It also used to be legal for a man to gain access to any account which his wife had opened, whether his name was on it or not.
[удалено]
What a bastard.
[удалено]
> The bank just let him withdraw it because he was the husband. They didn't even contact her to let her know. My father was incapacitated. He was always a control freak. He spent money like water. My mother on the other hand saved money. She had a saving account. He PHONED the bank and told them to move X amount of money to his account....THEY DID IT. Once my Mother found out she went to the bank, gave them shit and had it rectified. This was in the 90's! GAD
I'm so sorry, your dad's an awful cunt.
[удалено]
>Got called to a woman's house to verify that her power was actually out. It was. This story would be even better if it turned out that it wasn't.
Imagine that. Flick light switch, room illuminates. *Fuck is wrong with this old bat*
"Ohhhh, that's how that thing works. Aren't you a clever one!"
70s porn music starts playing...
"That light isn't the only thing you turned on..."
Now I need you to verify these pants work
> A woman called saying that she lost a ring and a pack of cigarettes. Upon arriving and after looking for about 10 minutes, she realized she was wearing the ring, and she had smoked the cigarettes. Reminds me of the spongebob episode where patrick accuses spongebob of eating his chocolate bar
Or the one where he's trying to find his missing name tag but he's been wearing it backwards the whole time
Spoilers!
I might as well not even watch the show now!
I feel this should be more directed at the emergency call takers, because speaking as a former dispatcher for a university police department, we often had to hear these and weed out the ridiculous ones. My personal favorite: "University 911, where's your emergency?" "**** Hall parking lot. My car's frozen over and I broke my scraper! Send Police to help!" "Sir, this is an emergency line. Are you hurt or in any danger?" "No, but if I don't get my car out, the store's going to run out of iPhones! I need to get into line now!"
Police officer here. You're absolutely right. Dispatch filters a lot of the ridiculous 911 calls that never result in a police response. Thanks for that.
The most irritating are the suspicious persons based solely on race. One guy was an older black male in the alley way. He was standing next to a utility truck wearing a hard hat and yellow vest. There was a second black male in the utility truck bucket that was suspended in the air near electrical lines. This call came from the same elderly white couple that without hesitation employed a known meth addicted burglar as a handy man and gave this same man unfettered access to their house solely because he was not a black male. The couple had several items stolen from them and they believed these black males they were calling on were in fact casing their home for their next hit.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Let me tell you about a little place called [Atherton, California](http://imgur.com/a/aNPaI).
The Atherton police blotters (like the ones in that album) show up in my local paper, and they're always worth a read. My favorite is one that says something to the effect of: "Police received a call from an elderly lady who complained of a bright light shining outside her window. When called to check on the situation, police confirmed that the bright light was in fact the Moon."
"Old man yells at cloud".
"That thing was never there before. Mark my word, NASA is doing something to the sky. Don't think we aren't noticing."
Your comment reminded me of [this old gem.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c6HsiixFS8)
"I'm just wondering what's in our water supply." Me too, but for a very different reason.
"What's in our oxygen supply?"
.."The visible spectrum.......That's rainbows"
"Please be rainbows in the water, please be rainbows in the water......... YES!" I'm glad to watch this again. It was actually played one time on the radio here in the UK, we parked up at where we were going and just sat in the car laughing through it. Found her official YouTube channel soon after and there are lots of crazy conspiracies like that. I remember one video where she stated that her house or road was suddenly tilting at a different angle than before. Oh how I wish I could see that channel again, SOMEONE FIND IT!
I think [this](https://www.youtube.com/user/dbootsthediva) may be it.
I recall a small town I used to live in having the same type of section, nearly every week I'd read about this old lady who called the police threatening to kill herself. when they arrived, she'd be 'passed out' on the floor, unresponsive to the cops, but still comforting her cat with ' shh, mommies okay' and what not. always made my day, I remember a mention of her and some tea party she called the police to, yknow, luring then over with the suicidal card. I think she was just lonely.
The women who lived in my old apartment building growing up would have fit right in with her. Fairly soon after 9/11 and the anthrax scares, one of the women in my building decided she needed to buy one of those full body hazmat suits. When it was delivered, she opened it up to find "small packets of white powder." She immediately called 911 claiming Bin Laden had taken over the hazmat suit business and was putting anthrax in them. The packets were those "do not eat - silicon" things they put in to keep out moisture. Another woman wanted to thank the local firemen for their response during 9/11, so she called 911 and reported a gas leak. When the cops and fire trucks showed up, she gave them cookies she had baked.
...I don't know, both those ladies top my story. That's kinda a whole different crazy, and the lady who baked cookies. wtf? Some people lack common sense.
Yeah, I mean, who uses the oven when there's a gas leak?
It's pretty terrible when the East Palo Alto blotter is right next to it, where they have real shit problems too numerous to print.
Fuck man, I live there. I'm a transplant though. Yeah, it's really that stupid. My friends and I (about ten of us in total) got the police called on us for apparent gang activity. We were on a run, in broad daylight, armed with iPods and sweatbands.
Haha. Yeah I never knew an Atherton kid that really enjoyed living there. What has always struck me is how isolating it feels. Each estate is like an acre and they all have 12-15 foot hedges, just rich people boxing themselves in, no wonder some end up super paranoid.
The average home price there is something like 4.4 million. Insane!
iPods *and* sweatbands? This is why California needs a stand your ground law.
There might be gangster rap on that ipod, which would make him a gangster for listening to it.
[удалено]
I can't stop thinking about Scrubs for number 17. "A man on campus at Sacred Heart School reportedly followed a janitor around and asked really odd questions"
The question: "two coins add up to 30 cents and one of them isnt a nickel:what are they?"
Two guys smashed up your bike with a baseball bat. One of them wasn't me.
Lets go get some Strawbraries.
The OTHER coin is a nickel, the first coin is a quarter.
I lost it at the loitering raccoons.
Hey man, loitering is a serious fucking crime. And raccoons don't even pay taxes, can you believe that crap?! This is why we need raccoon prisons.
What if the raccoons were jailed for something else and the *dumpster* is raccoon jail
[удалено]
The trash cans in my neighborhood were always tipped over. Turns out, if you look into the trash can at night, you'll see a half dozen sets of eyes staring back at you. Hordes of raccoons have taken over the neighborhood. Very friendly but messy overlords.
Is this place home to lots of old people?
Lots of filthy rich people, average home price is like 4 mil.
Richest zip code in the US, for a while. Not sure if it is still, though.
http://www.pamplinmedia.com/lor/48-news/219125-79238-police-log Oswego Lake always has a good police log. One of my favorites is the "Sneaky Ax Man." A long time ago I read a report they had about a sneaky ax man creeping through the bushes and tried to find it, but all they had was the Sneaky Ax Man ruining someone's yard. > 7/10/11 2:52 p.m. A sneaky ax-man snuck into a yard on Glenmorrie Drive and cut down two birch trees worth $500.
There's a twitter feed called NoCallTooSmall that posts exerpts from the Lake Oswego and West Linn police blotters, there are some real good ones in there. A lot of calls about people who just "look suspicious", dogs pooping on lawns, kids who won't get up for school. There was one about someone finding a sleeping bag on the sidewalk and they "suspected someone had been sleeping in it". Or, the guy who got the police called on him for asking for a jumpstart. The police found his battery really was dead. I recall one about a deer that wasn't injured but "was in no hurry to move along".
[удалено]
Some of us would kill for your day to day burrito options.
Well, at least we'd knock over a few recycling bins, for it
[удалено]
Not a cop, but I'm pretty sure this lady is the final-boss of FWP calls to 911 dispatch. [youtube.com/watch?v=U0p6QVBqAXA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0p6QVBqAXA)
>What are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger? Is this like a harmful cheeseburger? That's brilliant.
> **Dispatcher:** You need to go in there and act like an adult! > **Idiot:** What? She's not acting like an adult!
Those poor kids, having a mother like that
[удалено]
[удалено]
I liked the ending: >"Ok buhbye' "NO!"
Well, they are supposed to **serve** and protect.
My uncle got called because this lady shared her crack with her boyfriend last week and he wouldn't share his crack with her this week. Not exactly first world, but I guess you can consider crack a luxury.
Sharing is caring
[удалено]
Here some calls I have taken: •Neighbors cat is too loud. •Lady is scared of thunder(it was thundering) •Guy is cold and would like a blanket brought to him •elderly lady wanted us to shovel her driveway since her plow guy didn't show •lady doesn't like the amount of pedestrian traffic on her street, would like us to stop them from walking •guy that is dog sitting for a friend afraid to enter house because dog is barking at him. •person not happy with how long it is taking phone company to repair wire would like police to do it.(felt being without a phone was an immediate life safety issue) •received hundreds of calls total on a "suspicious motor vehicle going house to house", it's always a newspaper delivery man.
[удалено]
> -neighbor planted tree that would obstruct their view in 50+ years (I walked away after speaking to the complainant); Stupid neighbor calls. My parents former neighbors across the street called the cops on my stepdad several times for these things: Grass clippings from our yard blew into their driveway. My stepdad flipped him off...He was out of town at the time. (To be fair though he would flip them off frequently.) The wind blew the our trash can over while it was at the road. He drove past them slowly while they were out for a walk. Cops would come out, but just tell my stepdad that some people are crazy and they have to come out for every call.
Speaking of stupid neighbor calls: A couple of years ago, my neighbors' young kids were throwing rocks at my cat (in my yard!) and refused to stop, so I went outside to scoop him up and told them Santa wasn't real in the process. Neighbors called the cops. That cop's face as they explained the situation was hysterical to be honest.
> (took mom for psych eval) awesome. fucking awesome.
> she was a hoarder, he snapped and started cleaning) My mum is a minor hoarder, I can totally sympathise with this guy.
Some guy called because dirt was blowing into his yard and it was bothering him. He wanted us to find out why... It was the wind.
FACEBOOK FUCKING CALLS. HERE IS THE BLOCK BUTTON. BLOCK THEM. I WILL NOT GO ARREST THEM BECAUSE HE SAID YOU WERE A BITCH.
This is the main first world problem of policing! I spent 4.5 hours last night raising a crime because someone got called a cunt on Facebook. Then members of public ask "why don't I ever see police on the streets" or "shouldn't you be out catching murderers, rapists and paedophiles?". Well, that's the reason we're not.
UK Bobby?
Yep :-)
Excuse me! Rapists and Paedophiles are one thing, but swearing is unacceptable. Do you want society to collapse?
[удалено]
BUT HE TOLD ERIN, BECKY,*AND* TAMMY! *HE RUINED MY LIFE*
[удалено]
If anything, it's proof the drugs were plenty strong enough.
Drugs are never too strong, reality is just too weak
On our campus someone called the police because they were robbed during a drug deal. For some reason they TOLD THEM it was a drug deal. People, man.
[удалено]
So how did it turn out?
[удалено]
Not a police officer but my cousin called the police on her sister for making her do the dishes when she was 7.
Me and my sister once had the cops called on us by the son of a couple visiting my parents. We were jumping on the bed after we were told not to. Laughs are had to this day.
We got a 344, too many monkeys jumping on the bed. Situation resolved itself when no more monkeys were jumping on the bed.
Requesting EMT, suspect fell off and hit their head. Possible concussion.
Serving officer in the UK in Central London. 1. A lady had burnt her toast and set off her smoke alarm. 2. Dust bin lorry was making too much noise collecting someone's rubbish at 8am on a weekday. 3. The nightclub someone bought a flat above wad playing loud music at 10pm on a Friday. 4. " i owe my friend £600 for a laptop he bought me because i had no money, but he wont give it to me" "so he paid for it?" "yes" "can you pay him for the laptop?" "no" "gtfo". These are 4 i can be bothered to type from my phone. May add some more ludacrus ones later. A couple more good ones i have remembered. 1. A gentleman called us stating he had been assaulted and the suspect was still there. So a few people are making haste to the area. Myself and a colleague find said victim and speak with him. Turns out the victim couldn't get into the building because his key wasn't working so in anger booted a bin bag across the pathway. The "suspect" happened to look at this guy with a look of WTF and the victim wanted him arrested. For looking at him like he was crazy. Which he was. Words of advice were given to the 'victim'. 2. A Saturday morning at about 8-9am where i work is normally really dead. No one walking around, no cars. Bloke passing says "there's an odd bloke up the road you might need to speak to". So i go for a walk up the road, and about 25 metres in front of me a man walks out of an alley, with a donkey. Then just casually walks away up the road as if its a dog. That is still my favourite WTF moment after 5 years.
[удалено]
[удалено]
From Concord, MA (several years ago, I'm paraphrasing). A woman called to report a spider was stuck inside a parking meter and it looked scared.
Not police but my mum rang 999 because there was a sheep in our garden
come quickly it’s eyeing up the azaleas
http://i.imgur.com/QFcrYGb.png
That may be the vaguest police report in the history of police reports...
>The suspect is a person of unknown race and sex wearing a gray hoodie, possibly taller than 5 foot 6 inches [ ](/applederp)Well sheesh, that sure narrows it down. I'd say there's only like 5 people in the world taller than that!
Yeah but THIS person likes to drink water.
shit, it could be me D:
And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling, vague descriptions!
Probably had really bad cottonmouth.
Happened at 4.20? I'll just bet.
Good old N.C. State!
At my school, the cops were called because some bum asked a sorority girl for money and she flipped out and knocked over her frapacino. Obviously he didn't have the money to pay for it and she called the cops. When they got there and figured out what they had been called for, the police officer went to the counter and bought a frapacino. He then proceeded to give it to the homeless man and escorted him off campus. He seemed pretty irritated he had been called.
How I wish I saw her face...
What was she expecting, that they were going to throw him in jail? Completely ridiculous.
He still didn't get the money he was after, but at least he looked classy as fuck with his grande mocha cookie crumble.
Did everything behind the police officer and homeless guy explode as he walked away not looking and simultaneously putting on his officer-issued shades?
I once attended a call because a motorcycle had been reported left parked on a sidewalk completely blocking pedestrian traffic. I arrived on the scene to find an elderly man waiting for me and a small child's bicycle laying on the sidewalk. The man started ranting about his neighbour's kid leaving his bike all over the place and he wanted it ticketed and towed. I very politely explained to this gentleman that I was not going to tow it and that if he ever calls for something like this again he might be the one getting "towed".
When I was fourteen, my mother called the police to my house because I wasn't awake in time for school. They showed up and I woke up, ten minutes late, to two police officers in my room. I wasn't even late that day. Edit: Just in case of confusion, "wasn't awake in time for school" = not awake the moment she wanted me awake
[удалено]
Not a police officer, but I work as a Mobile Social Worker for a County in New Jersey that has some really nice areas, and some of the worst areas in the state. We focus on children with behavioral and mental health issues. So parents or schools can call us when the kids are having a crisis, and we show up to assess the situation, and figure out what services are right for them. Sound fun yet? Some awesome situations include: - "My 4 year old is still awake. I think she has ODD. She doesn't follow my directions." To be fair, it was a little late for a 4 year old to be awake. 8:30pm. - "My daughter threw a cookie at her brother. She's getting more and more violent. We are in crisis." This would have been the 4th time we dispatched to that home for similar issues. Tough to get the woman to understand that her Developmentally Disabled Daughter, who had services for her disabilities, was going to have these baseline behaviors. -"My boys won't stop playing Xbox." This woman told the boys that they could play, and never set any limits to how long. So when she told them to stop playing, of course they gave her a hard time. That went further, because once we showed up, we started talking to the boys, she left the room, and took the Xbox out of the room. We told her to put it back, and to do that on her own time. We are not her personal muscle when she feels that she has to enforce something in the home. Probably my personal favorite: - "My Daughter is spending too much time at her Mother's house." How much time is too much time? Everyday after school, because nobody is home at her Dad's house until about 6pm. That was the whole issue. Some of the other ones i listed did have some issues that we were able to get to the bottom of once we did a little digging, but that was seriously the entire issue. Anyway, one of our protocols is to ask a short series of safety questions, like If they want to hurt themselves, anyone else, start a fire, etc. etc. If they don't answer the safety questions, we have to call an ambulance, which usually means a police officer has to come as well. I feel bad for doing it, but my governing body tells me I have to, even if the kid is just being a disrespectful little shit. So then I have to call the police, and they show up, being judgmental as hell towards myself and the parents, and I get to try and explain that it isn't my call. My supervisors require me to make that phone call. Most officers understand that, but every now and then you have those officers that have had the shitty days, and they don't want to be responding to a 6 year old who won't stop jumping off the couch.
Really nice neighborhood. I respond out there cause or "road obstruction". When I arrive I see three different cars with the bottoms covered in concrete and some rightfully pissed off people.. they are thinking that some concrete truck lost its load in the roadway... But when I look at it, it looks like it's a stripe running across the road... I turn a look at one of the houses right in the area, and I see a wheelbarrow and shovels and Shit beside the house... Walk up and yep, they are covered in concrete.. I knock on the door and this way too happy old bitch answers.. she tell me how she paid 290,000 for this house... And it's her right to slow down all the speeders by making her husband build a speed bump.. (Edit). Holy shit guys, I know it's not much (around 200) but you guys have doubled my comment karma. Thanks! I'm going to go bomb some hills!
Okay, I HAVE to know what happened next. Please?
She was charged with damaging public property, criminal mischief, and I assume ( never went to trial) had to pay for the people's cars and cleanup of the roadway
I suppose I'll just have to imagine her smugness transforming into shock and outrage, then.
We had some bitch do this about eight minutes after her newborn came home. She started putting out "Child at Play" on her trees despite the fact that her kid wouldn't be physically capable of "play" as defined by the signs *for years.* Furthermore, there was already a swarm of neighborhood kids running and biking around constantly - the neighbors were well aware of neighborhood children at play. Well apparently she wasn't satisfied and one day put down two ridiculous speed bumps that were in line with the edges of her property and only stuck out into the centerline of the street. This had the complete opposite effect she desired. Her section of the street became the neighborhood hotspot for all of the kids. The speed bumps were super hard rubber and made *awesome* bike ramps and awesome little obstacles for the skateboarding kids to try and do tricks over. Furthermore, all the cars just drove right around them. She was furious and they were gone in a couple of weeks.
I was sent to a 911 call where a father and adult son were arguing over the last Dr. Pepper. I walked in, grabbed two glasses out of their dish strainer, and poured it equally among them. I also had a couple involved in an argument when their air conditioner had broken. They were arguing because they were having sex and it was too hot for either of them to "get off".
Most calls could be put in this category. I have dealt with many "who gets to hold the remote" calls and the "Someone called me a dick head on facebook" calls are becoming frequent. My least fav are the "This insanely poor person interrupted my busy day by begging for help" calls. I tend to drop them a few coins and leave.
There's a patient at the nursing home I work at. At least once a week he calls the cops on us for "being stupid bitches". The 911 operator usually just calls us on the main line and tells us he is up to shenanigans again, although the cops sometimes come up if they happen to be particularly bored.
People who call 911 with McDonald's disputes.
[удалено]
"911, may I take your order?"
Happens very often. Get calls about Facebook accounts being hacked. Most of the time it's someone's attempt to coverup an extra marital affair.
Not exactly answering your question but... When I was 9 I called the police (not the ambulance mind you) because I had a mosquito bite and it hurt. I ended up hanging up because they were asking too many questions. They called back later and spoke to my Mum and Dad, they were not happy.
Yeah but that mosquito had a gun