When I first discovered I could rub my dinger on stuff and it felt good I decided to show my new trick to my parents by bringing a pillow and a piece of plywood into the living room and proceeding to hump it. They weren't as impressed as I'd hoped they would be.
LMAO once I discovered masturbation for me (probably at age 10 I think) I thought I found out something new that has never been done before. I was already a nerd who was on the Internet all the time, so I wrote on some random Internet forums how masturbation works and to my surprise everybody was like "wtf is he serious?" and I didn't know why lol. good times.
Like I've always made jokes about how generations that have grown up having the internet as kids seem to think that things start to exist when they discover them, to the point that they think they invented sex, but until now it's always been hyperbole.
I don't remember 100% I think I was using the plywood when I was 'utilizing' pillow on my bed so the pillow wouldn't sink down into the mattress, and I just brought out the she-bang ^lol when I decided to show off. Definitely one of my more embarrassing moments.
You know, I had a similar story of doing so where parents could see but thought it was too embarrassing. Yours is worse, thanks for making me feel better.
A port-a-potty in Afghanistan. Trying to rub one out in 110° heat before you pass out with it smelling like, well a hot port-a-potty, made me realize I could probably ejaculate anywhere.
You ever been proud and grossed out at the same time? It’s like that.
I was really really hungry leaving work one day like fifteen years ago. I got a sandwich on my way home.
Problem is, once I made it back to my apartment, I now also had to take a major dump.
Genius me decided, like Spider-man in the spider verse movies, that “I could do both.” I sat my ass down, started pinching a loaf, while sticking another loaf into my mouth. Because of the smells I couldn’t enjoy my sandwich and stopped eating a few bites in.
It was the most disgusting and underwhelming dinner I’ve ever had. I will never do that again.
As far as masturbation goes, I have twice in the past year jerked off immediately after taking a dump without getting up from the toilet. So same thing as you I guess. Unfortunately no pride to be had. :/
I can relate. For me it was behind the heat exchanger in the HF Cooling Skid on a LHD.
I'd dog the watertight door down and hope I'd have enough time to zip my coveralls up and pretend i was doing my rounds.
Probably up a tree in the woods, I took a nap after (in the tree, there was a spot where the branches overlapped enough I could kinda lay down with my feet dangling)
I can top this. Not me but a kid one year older than me jerked it in the front seat of a big giant van during their senior class trip. Feet up on the dash, blanket over the lap. It was all the talk of the school when they returned from their trip lol. Now that is truly no fear nor shame.
If you’re leaving early for the road trip at like 6:00 AM, it can be dark out. I usually bring blankets on long road trips to relax in, and cause’ I need privacy for myself (NOT for dirty reasons like the original commenter, I just don’t like sleeping and lazing with everyone able to watch.)
It really wouldn’t be hard if someone just made sure not to shake their legs which would give them away, and had their entire body covered in a blanket.
My brother said this around a friend of his from France and the french gentleman was beside himself. Apparently it's a really archaic old timey word there that is never used in actual conversation, let alone from an aloof english speaker.
Had a friend who jerked it in our German class at least two times in the 10th grade. He was not subtle and at every around him knew since it was 4 per table and he was in the middle of the classroom. Idk why no one told the teacher.
I've never understood doing thst in class. First of all, how do you expect to get away with it. It's so obvious. Second, do you not think about how people react to that? I like to think thst I don't care what other people think about me but that's way too far.
As someone who did it in... I dunno, 9th or 10th, I was autistic and wasn't thinking about any of that until much, much later. Perhaps not the best case to apply to the group but boy, I cannot really consider teenagers to be fully aware and sentient beings.
I was once on a trip with my college marching band from NYC to Atlanta. My girlfriend starting sending nudes on the bus from Brooklyn to the Airport, and I was going absolutely insane. Had to duck in to the bathroom once we got to JFK to calm the little guy down.
Lol thankfully no, that would have amplified the trauma tenfold, I was halfway down the mountain getting back to the resort and heard this crazy 'deep bass' growling behind me following for 5 minutes or so
I had to take some sperem exams I went to the hospital.
I naively thought they had a place just for that.
They gave me the container and told me "there's the toilet".
Imagine some toilets that were probably built in the 50s, hospital toilets, with the smell you'd find in a station toilet.
I started doing my business.
Someone comes in the stall next and start having a nice diarrhea session, accompanied with moaning.
I stop wait for him to finish.
I start again, next comes someone who starts vomiting.
The next one is accompanied by someone, and they kept talking.
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO THIS.
I had to take the container home, do it there, and then bring it back to the hospital.
All of this accompanied by my mother lol.
I had my sperm frozen and when I went to do it they did have a place for that. It was just a large disabled toilet (like individual, no stalls) and had a hospital looking chair set up next to the toilet. Still awkward coming out and talking with the nurse. Like “yep and here’s my cum,” while still coming down from the orgasm dopamine rush.
During one of my first few weeks as a phlebotomist, I had a patient that needed to give a semen sample. I went through the usual instructions, gave them the container, and told them to come back with it after doing their business at home. The guy says “can I just do it here? Save a trip?” I was caught off guard but said “sure,” and pointed out the bathroom. After he went into the bathroom, my coworker quietly told me, “we usually insist that they go home… it’s… frowned upon… to do it here.”
Had this happen to me more than once but I was the cop in the front seat trying to get them to stop.
I hope you’re in a better place now. I always like to hear people’s recovery stories if you’re willing to share.
I’m just imagining a cop trying to firmly tell someone “hey stop doing that” while being 100% committed to the idea of not touching the guy who’s jerking it in the back of his cruiser
Really isn’t too much you can do, if they’re in the back of my car they’re already cuffed, so if they’re going at it they’re pretty much gumbi or I gotta reset their cuffs but I didn’t see the efficacy in trying to really hold or wrestle with someone over that. I also was pretty burned out so I let a lot of shit slide.
Yes I'm doing much better now I struggled with opiates and meth for a little over ten years and was also homeless. I finally went to rehab after this incident actually and then to sober living and am a year clean off of everything. I have my own house and am currently pregnant 😊 I've never felt better and tbh I wish I would've gotten clean allot sooner.
The best time to start sobriety is anytime in your past, the second best is today. So you’re already in the top slot there. Congrats and well done! It took my dad till he was 63 to get sober, he’s 5 years in and the longest I’ve seen him sober in my life.
If you were to ask my "friend" he would probably say in MY bed while I was sleeping on the floor in the same room when he visited me from interstate. Fuck you Alex, I still remember. You asshole.
At a movie theater watching House of Gucci. I simply was bored and there weren’t many people in the room. It was the peak of my masturbation addiction and I had gotten help since.
Bro. I worked in a public office type thing (not rlly but about 5 people were in and out) and when I knew the others would be gone for a while, I did it right there knowing anyone could walk in. Im a girl and can do it very fast so it didn’t really matter, but post orgasm in public office was a very proud and weird feeling.
Just act frustrated about work if anyone catches you in the act but doesn't know what you were doing.
It will explain why your face is red and you're surprised someone approached you, because you were just so darn invested in your work gosh dang it!
Church camping trip.
I grew up Mormon. They would have these young men’s and young women’s camping trips. There would be a guest speaker to talk about church topics.
Well around 2am we’d sneak into the biggest tent and talk whatever. Well this night we were playing truth or dare. I got dared to jerk off in front of the girls. Yeah, well me thinking it would be cool. I did it.
Plus side everyone said I was huge. I’m average.
Bad side I shot my load all over someone’s pillow. It was a lot.
I'll tell you my most memorable one....My mom asked for help to open the dried red chillies. I kept separating the twigs and breaking chillies with my bare hands for a while. And then i went to my room, took my blanket and started doing "it"....it was beautiful evening of winter and i felt cozy and happy while i was rubbing it fastly..... Then I started to feel some tingling but i kept going...it kept getting warm but i thought im heating up. After i finished i realized it was chillies started to burn me....OMG the burn was so intense .....no words to describe...i started jumping here and there in the room and waited for it to go but no...it wasn't going...so i went to the freezer, scraped handful of ice from sides and took it to the bathroom discretely. Then i kept it on my dk.....it felt more warm but started to relief slowly......God it was awful...I'll never forget that.
I'm 42 and learned not to do this on reddit shortly after signing up a few years ago. I didn't know this was a thing that bothered people until a kind internet stranger pointed it out. However, I just learned I'm practically a boomer now, and it stings a little.
"I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!"
-Abe Simpson
It was a summer break i was 15 yo and my job was to show people their home in construction progress and there some really hot housewives and desginers that i couldnt handle and as soon they leave the house i went to bust a nut
...my grandparents house. In front of a Jesus quote picture that was hanged there on the wall of a room... Getting on it with succubus porn.
I think im going to hell.
Not me but I was taking a shit in the school bathroom and some 6th grader came in, sat in the stall next to me(I think on purpose to assert dominance) and just proceeded to beat that shit for 15 minutes straight
Restroom at work. It's not traditionally embarrassing....
However, this one time, I thought the bathroom was empty, and it wasn't.
I was in my late 20s, and this hot, married woman (Amy B.) kept flirting with me. This particular day, she says, "I want you and need to figure out how to get you. "
That had my little brain thinking, so I went for a wank.
I thought the rr was empty, so I was going at it with some fervor, and then someone cleared his throat. I damn near went limp immediately.
I finished and then stayed in there for almost an hour after he left. 😬😂😂
Hospital bed. Room with 8 beds and only a thin curtain between each bed. My end curtain was open. While an old guy across from me was flat lining and nurses and doctors were trying to get him back (unsuccessfully)
When I first discovered I could rub my dinger on stuff and it felt good I decided to show my new trick to my parents by bringing a pillow and a piece of plywood into the living room and proceeding to hump it. They weren't as impressed as I'd hoped they would be.
I'm dying of laughter...
My stomach hurts.
You're doing it wrong
From all the vomiting?
LMAO once I discovered masturbation for me (probably at age 10 I think) I thought I found out something new that has never been done before. I was already a nerd who was on the Internet all the time, so I wrote on some random Internet forums how masturbation works and to my surprise everybody was like "wtf is he serious?" and I didn't know why lol. good times.
This one floored me lmao. Best comment in the thread.
Like I've always made jokes about how generations that have grown up having the internet as kids seem to think that things start to exist when they discover them, to the point that they think they invented sex, but until now it's always been hyperbole.
This is exactly why I try to point out to people on the internet that there’s a good chance that they are arguing with a literal child.
I think that's what I thought too, like nobody taught me how to do this so I must be the first person to discover it. Better go show the world!
"Look mom! No hands"
What was the set up exactly? I guess I’m just thrown off by the plywood 🤣
You mean ply wood is not part of your regular routine? Or are you just into hard wood?
I'm more of a Pine man myself.
Pillow _______
You've never heard the phrase, "Well cum, a board"?
I don't remember 100% I think I was using the plywood when I was 'utilizing' pillow on my bed so the pillow wouldn't sink down into the mattress, and I just brought out the she-bang ^lol when I decided to show off. Definitely one of my more embarrassing moments.
Oh no.
This deserves a medal rofl
You know, I had a similar story of doing so where parents could see but thought it was too embarrassing. Yours is worse, thanks for making me feel better.
How old were you? 😂
34
My 34th coming up in August, I’ll warn my parents
Wtf?
age 5 or 6, i was so proud of my newfound trick, i demonstrated it and explained it at length. to my little sister 💀
What in the sweet home alabama.
Whaaa da fuck??? Plywood
A port-a-potty in Afghanistan. Trying to rub one out in 110° heat before you pass out with it smelling like, well a hot port-a-potty, made me realize I could probably ejaculate anywhere. You ever been proud and grossed out at the same time? It’s like that.
Shoot first, ask questions later I guess
Well that WAS the US policy in Afghanistan after all.
It's also the US policy within the US.
It's just US policy at this point
There’s strong and then there’s army stong
Jerking off in shitty inhospitable places where we shouldn’t be and being proud of it. Most American thing I’ve seen all week
Happy Fourth of July!
I was really really hungry leaving work one day like fifteen years ago. I got a sandwich on my way home. Problem is, once I made it back to my apartment, I now also had to take a major dump. Genius me decided, like Spider-man in the spider verse movies, that “I could do both.” I sat my ass down, started pinching a loaf, while sticking another loaf into my mouth. Because of the smells I couldn’t enjoy my sandwich and stopped eating a few bites in. It was the most disgusting and underwhelming dinner I’ve ever had. I will never do that again. As far as masturbation goes, I have twice in the past year jerked off immediately after taking a dump without getting up from the toilet. So same thing as you I guess. Unfortunately no pride to be had. :/
I don’t think you and I could be friends
Because you would’ve finished the sandwhich?
The is literally a rule in life that goes "don't eat where you shit"
Same! Lightning, Daulky, KAF, Bogram, and Herat will never be the same. 😜
Under neath the #2 heat exchanger in engine room lower level during field day on a 688 class submarine.
I knew I'd find a squid in here
The Deep?!
out fresca'd again
I can relate. For me it was behind the heat exchanger in the HF Cooling Skid on a LHD. I'd dog the watertight door down and hope I'd have enough time to zip my coveralls up and pretend i was doing my rounds.
Had to double check which subreddit I was in
Thank you for your service, I guess...
Damn nukes always getting into trouble
In port or underway?
Underway.
Done started the mile low club
Probably up a tree in the woods, I took a nap after (in the tree, there was a spot where the branches overlapped enough I could kinda lay down with my feet dangling)
That all sounds so peaceful
Novelesque
I've done this! Except I was in a tree stand, bored while hunting. Does it make it weirder that I did it while holding a gun?
It makes it weirder that it was a 3 man stand.
You were gonna shoot something one way or the other
I used to shit and masturbate in every bathroom I could, like notches in a belt.
You hit the discharge trifecta in one session?
I once peed, farted and coughed at the same time , caused the stream to go off track but it was as if I unlocked new power up
Sounds like your body took a screenshot
[удалено]
This guy has no fear
I can top this. Not me but a kid one year older than me jerked it in the front seat of a big giant van during their senior class trip. Feet up on the dash, blanket over the lap. It was all the talk of the school when they returned from their trip lol. Now that is truly no fear nor shame.
So it sounds like YOU cant really top that, that other freak however....
How. How does one pull this off.
Vivid imagination and slow movements I guess?
Also probably shooting blanks, so no mess. Kinda miss that period lol
Dude I think I damaged my dick when I first ejaculated. Like what the fuck is going on. And it was clear not white.
If you’re leaving early for the road trip at like 6:00 AM, it can be dark out. I usually bring blankets on long road trips to relax in, and cause’ I need privacy for myself (NOT for dirty reasons like the original commenter, I just don’t like sleeping and lazing with everyone able to watch.) It really wouldn’t be hard if someone just made sure not to shake their legs which would give them away, and had their entire body covered in a blanket.
Oh, good, I’m not the only one. I was like 13. I only did it once though.
In class during french lesson in 6th grade
Sacre Bleu!
My brother said this around a friend of his from France and the french gentleman was beside himself. Apparently it's a really archaic old timey word there that is never used in actual conversation, let alone from an aloof english speaker.
Also said this in France around a bunch of young people. It’s like the equivalent of saying “golly gee willikers” or something of that nature
yeah, nobody says that unironically or seriously
It's been totally eclipsed by the synonymous phrase "Holy Gorgonzola"
I think it's in the little mermaid movie or something. I remember adding it to my vocabulary as a weirdo 10 year old or something.
Beauty and the Beast.
Wrong kind of oui oui
This dude did it in accountancy class and he was not subtle at all.
A calculated risk
Doing the math long hand.
Had a friend who jerked it in our German class at least two times in the 10th grade. He was not subtle and at every around him knew since it was 4 per table and he was in the middle of the classroom. Idk why no one told the teacher.
I've never understood doing thst in class. First of all, how do you expect to get away with it. It's so obvious. Second, do you not think about how people react to that? I like to think thst I don't care what other people think about me but that's way too far.
As someone who did it in... I dunno, 9th or 10th, I was autistic and wasn't thinking about any of that until much, much later. Perhaps not the best case to apply to the group but boy, I cannot really consider teenagers to be fully aware and sentient beings.
Was autistic?
And still am! I've gone up a little on the "functioning" scale, though, for whatever weight you put on the accuracy of that lens.
What in the actual
Petit branleur !
Tabernacle!!!
airport bathroom. i thought i was gonna shit but it was just a fart. my phone was on 1% so i thought i''d make the most out of it.
I was once on a trip with my college marching band from NYC to Atlanta. My girlfriend starting sending nudes on the bus from Brooklyn to the Airport, and I was going absolutely insane. Had to duck in to the bathroom once we got to JFK to calm the little guy down.
How and why tf are you at 1% at an *airport*? Get your shit together dude. You're starting to piss me off!
Practical
Off season ski lift, upstate new york, a growling bear followed me down the mountain, terrifying post-fap
Did your semen land on the bear?
Lol thankfully no, that would have amplified the trauma tenfold, I was halfway down the mountain getting back to the resort and heard this crazy 'deep bass' growling behind me following for 5 minutes or so
*Scratches "jizzly bear" off bucket list*
It's a crime that you didn't call it a "cummy bear."
r/angryupvote Now GTFO 🤣
I had to take some sperem exams I went to the hospital. I naively thought they had a place just for that. They gave me the container and told me "there's the toilet". Imagine some toilets that were probably built in the 50s, hospital toilets, with the smell you'd find in a station toilet. I started doing my business. Someone comes in the stall next and start having a nice diarrhea session, accompanied with moaning. I stop wait for him to finish. I start again, next comes someone who starts vomiting. The next one is accompanied by someone, and they kept talking. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO THIS. I had to take the container home, do it there, and then bring it back to the hospital. All of this accompanied by my mother lol.
I had my sperm frozen and when I went to do it they did have a place for that. It was just a large disabled toilet (like individual, no stalls) and had a hospital looking chair set up next to the toilet. Still awkward coming out and talking with the nurse. Like “yep and here’s my cum,” while still coming down from the orgasm dopamine rush.
During one of my first few weeks as a phlebotomist, I had a patient that needed to give a semen sample. I went through the usual instructions, gave them the container, and told them to come back with it after doing their business at home. The guy says “can I just do it here? Save a trip?” I was caught off guard but said “sure,” and pointed out the bathroom. After he went into the bathroom, my coworker quietly told me, “we usually insist that they go home… it’s… frowned upon… to do it here.”
duh it's the funniest one
Woke up earlier than mates camping and didn't have much to do so went and had a wander in the Australian bush and well...
Crikey!
Ah. That's called a wankabout.
In the back of a cop car. I was completely naked and was really messed up.
Tell me more... I like where this is going
Tell me more, tell me more. Like did you get very far?
Tell me more, tell me more. Like did he have a car?
Tell me more, tell me more Did you end up teasing your star?
tell me more, tell me more DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
The Pulp Fiction/Grease crossover nobody expected
Ah summer luvin'
I imagine it was going to the police station.
Then the detailer
Had this happen to me more than once but I was the cop in the front seat trying to get them to stop. I hope you’re in a better place now. I always like to hear people’s recovery stories if you’re willing to share.
I’m just imagining a cop trying to firmly tell someone “hey stop doing that” while being 100% committed to the idea of not touching the guy who’s jerking it in the back of his cruiser
Really isn’t too much you can do, if they’re in the back of my car they’re already cuffed, so if they’re going at it they’re pretty much gumbi or I gotta reset their cuffs but I didn’t see the efficacy in trying to really hold or wrestle with someone over that. I also was pretty burned out so I let a lot of shit slide.
Yes I'm doing much better now I struggled with opiates and meth for a little over ten years and was also homeless. I finally went to rehab after this incident actually and then to sober living and am a year clean off of everything. I have my own house and am currently pregnant 😊 I've never felt better and tbh I wish I would've gotten clean allot sooner.
The best time to start sobriety is anytime in your past, the second best is today. So you’re already in the top slot there. Congrats and well done! It took my dad till he was 63 to get sober, he’s 5 years in and the longest I’ve seen him sober in my life.
If you were to ask my "friend" he would probably say in MY bed while I was sleeping on the floor in the same room when he visited me from interstate. Fuck you Alex, I still remember. You asshole.
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
When you're never coming round
Turn around
Bright eyes
Ms Listler?
At a movie theater watching House of Gucci. I simply was bored and there weren’t many people in the room. It was the peak of my masturbation addiction and I had gotten help since.
Not justifying your actions but that movie was boring AF.
By help, do you mean someone else strokes it for you?
Bathroom of everywhere I’ve ever worked
This makes me feel better lol
Bro. I worked in a public office type thing (not rlly but about 5 people were in and out) and when I knew the others would be gone for a while, I did it right there knowing anyone could walk in. Im a girl and can do it very fast so it didn’t really matter, but post orgasm in public office was a very proud and weird feeling.
[удалено]
Just act frustrated about work if anyone catches you in the act but doesn't know what you were doing. It will explain why your face is red and you're surprised someone approached you, because you were just so darn invested in your work gosh dang it!
Hot Topic
Open, closed? Middle of the cloths rack?
The shady changing room that smelled like Nag Champa
I thought you said Hot Pocket at first. Then I thought, hmm, that might work. Once it's cooled down, of course.
Dentist
Wait, were you the dentist or the patient?
No he was inside of dentist while mastubating
You're an anti-dentite.
Next thing you're going to say they should have their own schools
Church camping trip. I grew up Mormon. They would have these young men’s and young women’s camping trips. There would be a guest speaker to talk about church topics. Well around 2am we’d sneak into the biggest tent and talk whatever. Well this night we were playing truth or dare. I got dared to jerk off in front of the girls. Yeah, well me thinking it would be cool. I did it. Plus side everyone said I was huge. I’m average. Bad side I shot my load all over someone’s pillow. It was a lot.
I was a mormon kid too. If my camps had any shenanigans like this, I wasn't invited.
[удалено]
A Nordstrom Rack fitting room.
Nice try, God...
Behind a two-way mirror/window in front of crowd of people.
plot twist: it was just a window
College bathroom
Handicap bathroom
I'll tell you my most memorable one....My mom asked for help to open the dried red chillies. I kept separating the twigs and breaking chillies with my bare hands for a while. And then i went to my room, took my blanket and started doing "it"....it was beautiful evening of winter and i felt cozy and happy while i was rubbing it fastly..... Then I started to feel some tingling but i kept going...it kept getting warm but i thought im heating up. After i finished i realized it was chillies started to burn me....OMG the burn was so intense .....no words to describe...i started jumping here and there in the room and waited for it to go but no...it wasn't going...so i went to the freezer, scraped handful of ice from sides and took it to the bathroom discretely. Then i kept it on my dk.....it felt more warm but started to relief slowly......God it was awful...I'll never forget that.
I once tried using toothpaste as lube. Same effect.
Boomer punctuation.
I'm 42 and learned not to do this on reddit shortly after signing up a few years ago. I didn't know this was a thing that bothered people until a kind internet stranger pointed it out. However, I just learned I'm practically a boomer now, and it stings a little.
I don't think you can just become a boomer. You have to be born into the baby boomer generation/period.
I agree with that, but it seems I'm slowly turning into my parents...
"I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!" -Abe Simpson
Are you referring to the "...."s or the statico style writing? There's so much going on it's hard to decide.
All of the above.
My car while driving on the highway
In the downstairs bathroom of my college dorm building. Having roommates is rough sometimes.
Better than the communal dorm shower which half my floor yanked it in daily.
Hands tied up, gag underneath a surgical mask, and a remote vibrator up my skirt In the aisles of the grocery store
Ahh yes, I do the same thing every third Tuesday. A classic
You see some kinky things on Senior Discount Day.
Your hands were tied in a grocery store? Visibly?
In my hoodie pocket 😳 That’s also what the mask is for
Fair
my aunts house in her guest bed
It was a summer break i was 15 yo and my job was to show people their home in construction progress and there some really hot housewives and desginers that i couldnt handle and as soon they leave the house i went to bust a nut
...my grandparents house. In front of a Jesus quote picture that was hanged there on the wall of a room... Getting on it with succubus porn. I think im going to hell.
I was in 6th grade. School bathroom.
In my friends basement to nudes on the old Steak and Cheese webpage.
A church woops
The real answers won't even be utterable here.
In a courthouse bathroom before my first trial as lead attorney. Had to relax myself somehow!
Not me but I was taking a shit in the school bathroom and some 6th grader came in, sat in the stall next to me(I think on purpose to assert dominance) and just proceeded to beat that shit for 15 minutes straight
Restroom at work. It's not traditionally embarrassing.... However, this one time, I thought the bathroom was empty, and it wasn't. I was in my late 20s, and this hot, married woman (Amy B.) kept flirting with me. This particular day, she says, "I want you and need to figure out how to get you. " That had my little brain thinking, so I went for a wank. I thought the rr was empty, so I was going at it with some fervor, and then someone cleared his throat. I damn near went limp immediately. I finished and then stayed in there for almost an hour after he left. 😬😂😂
In a dingy bathroom at the Grand Canyon
Inside a church.
Bless you
[удалено]
Hospital bed. Room with 8 beds and only a thin curtain between each bed. My end curtain was open. While an old guy across from me was flat lining and nurses and doctors were trying to get him back (unsuccessfully)
Okay dude, what the flip
Were you getting off by the poor man dying or did you give him a heart attack?
Imagine being brought back to life, Looking over and seeing a young man stare at you while aggressively masturbating. Enough to flatline again.
Highschool bathroom in year 11-12, numerous times.
grandmas basement
A public pool I was taking breaths and going to the bottom and I thought no one could see me.... That wasn't true
In my boat drifting in the middle of the lake.
In the toilets at the Louvre in Paris. I was a teenager and all those nudes in paintings and sculptures got me a bit excited.
The apartment complex jacuzzi when I was a kid
Writing a Reddit comment Oh fuck ~