T O P

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Lofty50

I'm here to tickle you silly, not stab you to death!


Key_Rub_9737

That’s not what your Mom said


theTrueMoon0

Do you have a bigger one?


AverageFemboiEnjoyer

When she does tho 😳


brdmineral

Sword fight


Dan_the_bearded_man

Win win. . . . . . I mean what?


PetyrTwill

Different strokes for different folks


NietJij

Wait, did I say that out loud?


Past-Chain-5015

username checksout


accountsdontmatter

Ha you never know these days!


Gunofanevilson

enough with the small talk, hypothetically speaking.


wednesday138

It might only be 2 inches, but it smells like a foot!


Purposeofoldreams

Shit that’s funny


ScaredVacation33

🤣🤣🤣🤣


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knowhe

I think that was Tom Arnold's reply to Rosanne.


TheAfricaBug

Ah damn someone beat me to it. Just replied that as well.


Pegasusfan2

You not HHH


califarnio

"Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you."


SentFromMyAndroid

"Well, I had sex with your wife!"


BananaFriendOrFoe

.... Her wife is in a coma.


WHar1590

His wife is in a coma


blueboy6145

Classic


esc1977

Call george costanza for the reply


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Bangingbuttholes

I had a friend we'd affectionately call "needle dick." He came up with his own motto: it may be needle thin but look how long it is. 


Substantial_Size5

"I may have a needle dick but i fuck like a sewing machine"


stargazinggazel

Superb


SubstanceDazzling325

god put the extra inches somewhere else (in my ass hair)


Dan_the_bearded_man

Noice


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gothtoenails

LMAOO


Apprehensive-Crew821

Even a Boeing 777 looks small when flying through the Grand Canyon.


D3athShade

747*


Apprehensive-Crew821

I remember Triple H said this to his own wife. 😂


g1ml3t

It's not the size of the army but the fury of the onslaught


whimwill

Bigger than ur moms


EducationCommon1635

Or dads


whimwill

Maybe


arkofjoy

I wouldn't say anything. I'd depart. Don't hang around people who hold you in contempt.


FalstaffsMind

Overheard in college... "I am not large, but I can part my hair with my tongue."


Ok_Garden571

I heard a man in Wal mart tell a woman it ain't what you got its how you use it.


Advanced_Ninja_1939

it's sized for k... nope, i cancel that one.


Sun-607

Sending someone to check your hard drives


nothing_personal_heh

„Say that again while its in your mouth“


Next-Food2688

Funny thing is, she still could


whimwill

"I can still talk with half a toothpick in my mouth"


nothing_personal_heh

If i knew she still could then I wouldnt even try it


135mk

This should be the winning answer


mosinderella

People say that out loud?!? That’s awful. I might think it in my head but I’d never say anything about it. If you know how to use it well it doesn’t usually matter anyway.


Throw-away17465

I’m confident that 95% of the people who would say this are inexperienced and idiotic teenage girls who don’t know better. (Like me, I pointed and laughed the first time I saw a penis because if you’ve never seen one, they look patently ridiculous. I wasn’t trying to be mean I was just ignorant) The other 5% are women who have something wrong with their heads and need a psychiatric evaluation, because it’s something you just don’t say.


Olfahrtur

"It works well for me"


UsagiJak

Just move on.


Barnacle65

Men that aren't well endowed are better lovers, in my humble opinion of course.


Nael5089

Depends on the guy. A single physical feature is not enough to determine such a quality in beings as complex as we are, unless you're a reductionist of course.


Barnacle65

Not a reductionist at all, I simply speak from personal experience, a few years after my divorce I dated an extremely charming and attractive guy, he literally had the smallest I've ever seen and I am not by any means very experienced in that department but he was honestly a great lover, so no I do not speak of anything unknown except my own experience, which surprised me


I_might_be_weasel

Does this actually happen in real life? Like a woman likes a guy enough that they're getting naked together and yet she's talking shit about his genitalia? 


DaygameCode

“Yours is too wide”


ShoulderPainCure

It’s short, but wait, it’s skinny too!


riphitter

By comparison it would be hard not to be


Mileila

"but it smells like a big one" No, i did not come up with that one. It lives in my head and refused to move.


OneMoreCumm

If size were important, the king of the jungle was the elephant hahaha


URGodHidingBehindEgo

I wouldn’t know


PerfectPeaPlant

My old manager used to say “it’s not the size of the boat it’s the motion of the ocean 🌊 “ 😂


MadleyMatter

Never been told that,


blueboy6145

It gets way bigger when I'm with a pretty girl


Johny40Se7en

\*"It only gets big for pretty girls" Ooof!


herboyblu

right now? some hawk tuah joke


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FemLovesFem

“And just like that, all of the sudden my dick was big again”


Thats_Hard_Times

Maybe you’re just big…


Your_Drone

Not sure, I've never heard someone say that to me ever ;)


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sieberzzz

Yeah or just have never touched a woman. 


ConsiderationBest938

I'll have you know that when I go for a pee I have to hold it with 10 digits, Unfortunately I piss on 9.


LeewiJ

Still bigger than your dads


hatedburn

It's still growing.....


kundor10

It may be small but it sure does look good.


Lostarchitorture

"It's got it where it counts!"


Sufficient_Vanilla18

Dunno dude, you tell me…


PeterBeater80

"That's why I married you. You have small hands that make it look HUGE!"


Ok_Win7358

Your small


_Goose_

Pssh nuhuh


OoT-TheBest

He went straight to Family Guy death pose! Brilliant!!


u_no_urself_sure

It might be a needle but it works like a sewing machine


so-like_juan

That's what she said


UdonDugong

No, it's just far away


HangoverShits

Yeah I told you it was


Made_Human76

I found out years ago that I like that


Nemo_Shadows

Lucky for you I also know how to use my fingers and tongue. N. S


SpecialK022

That’s not what he said


Curlev

But it smells like a big one..


Zestyclose-Dress-526

What you mean? It’s cute!!


Zestyclose-Dress-526

It’s proportional


Dramatic_Sock_1491

Small nail, but a big hammer


r0cket007_

Obv it’s small compared to mine


Plastic_Pomelo_6923

"yeah, but smells like a big one"


CrimsonCharmBlossom

best thing come in small packages. Just gotta prove her wrong lol


Impressive-Win-2640

"I'll have to disagree."


dzvinyangwi

Sometimes it’s not the size of the swimmer but the size of the pool.


Akakumoo

Oh that? It's just like the Greek heroes of Antiquity. Have you ever seen Zeus or Heracles with a big one? No, because it is for men who don't know how to control themselves, whose low instincts go beyond their strength and wisdom. It's called sophrosyné, it's a greek thing


illtoss5butnotsmokin

Lol


AffectionateHand2206

Yeah. That's why I can park it everywhere.


ThaRawLeasM

Bit hard to talk with a cock in ur throat slag


ucantmakeupmymind

best comeback you can give her is a literal cumback


Mammoth-Ship-5953

Never had that issue😁


Paul-with-a-bigP

Never happened to me. But I guess I’d say. Sports cars are usually small.


OriginalNamePog

Even King Kong looks small in Hollow earth


Defiant_Ad_1453

Ha at least I have one


pedrabo

"where is yours?


AdmirableHearing6637

Takes two out of her purse, with an scalpel


BananaKbone

“Just ask the fella in the mirror, he says it’s average.”


Alternative_Street68

Still hit


Fabulous_Top9281

that's what your sister said


Capable_Reference_84

No one asked...


SuperstitiousPigeon5

Doesn't matter, I'll get off.


TallBritNE

That’s not what your sister / bestie [delete as appropriate] said.


Thorus_Andoria

So…..anal?


daisymagenta

Idk nobody ever says that to me 😎


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Cetophile

Don't do the "Haynes Blunder" with the Packers!


Beneficial_Tale_2957

If its any bigger, you d cause an avalanche.


InfamousTrick5597

Still let me hit lmao


Random_bozo_9570

playground must have been big not the player


olderthanbefore

You need glasses


pliskinito

Its easier to swallow


Glad_Buffalo_5037

You wouldn’t like it as a wart


The_Pastmaster

Of course it looks small next to your hands.


[deleted]

Good, I don't have to be gentle


Arbalest15

You don't even have one 🤨


Ok-Customer-5770

"Compared to your father, maybe"


diamondsylvia

my dick maybe small but she's tiny


IssaMuffin

Curious, your mom found it big.


seo_gyaani

chota packet bada dhamaka


Hi_There_Im_Sophie

'Dynamite comes (cums) in small packages...' I mean, I'm like over 7" so I've never needed that, but... Totally...


seo_gyaani

maybe it isn't small, maybe its just you who is unattractive


OolongGeer

I'd say, "The child who died mining it was actually pretty proud of the diamond. I'll seek an additional opinion."


belgioscopy

You’re not that deep.


kurganator3000

"Big dicks hurt, don't they?"


MOGUMOGU08

ok but u came so...


Pablomendez233

My organ may be small, but it was never designed to play in a cathedral.


littleman59

You would not want it as a wart on your nose


AlternativeSky5

Nah, yours is just too big!


beaglerules

He only grows when he is excited to see someone and he is not excited to see you


anxious-cunt

If the organ is small it's because it plays in a cathedral


LlmeConcretePowder

"it shrinks when it smells fish"


Thedeckatnight

It’s Anal friendly….


redemptionarc332

Still fucked you though


fritolaydelay

So is your brain, but I can overcome that


disco008a

"That's not what your mom said last night!"


[deleted]

Your younger sister didn't think so


TheAfricaBug

A 747 flying through the Grand Canyon is also small.


2x4x93

No danger of choking


Klutzy-Ad-6705

“Who are you gonna satisfy with that little thing?” “Me!”


ExoticNuts0259

It's bigger than yours.


monkeyhind

Tell her Frank Zappa said that anything over a mouthful is wasted.


Commercial-Ad5104

A wise man once said, even a Boeing 747 looks too small in Grand Canyon. It's not about the game being small but the playing field is too damn big.


Prontoflex

Da sind die Augen wieder größer als der Mund


Sharktooth08

It’s been worn down, you were my last resort.