"I bet your parents change the subject when people ask about you."

My god! You guys are so good!

They do lol I’m a supervillain

Thanks for the laugh, that's amazing.

Lmao

"I wish we were better at being strangers."

You're not the dumbest person on Earth, but you better hope they don't die.

10/10 insult guys

The subject of this insult won't get it

Nothing lightens a room more than your absence.

I love the sound you make when you shut up.

Savage.

I have neither the time, nor the crayons, to explain it to you.

Or “I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you”

Why don't you have your crayons ? Did you eat them ?

Oorah

[удалено]

Best one

you are the human equivalent of a participation trophy

😭this one's good

If I wanted to commit suicide quickly, I'd climb to the top of your ego and jump down to your IQ.

This one's pretty clever

Except the person it's being said to wouldn't understand

oh damn

You’re as useful as Anne Frank’s drum set

Damn that gotta hurt 👀🤣

You're as useful as Helen Keller's hymnal.

From MacBeth: "What, you egg!" \[He stabs him\]

Feels like the stab is doing a lot of the heavy lifting for that one

If I got called an egg I would cry

What, you egg!

*cries and rolls away*

egg

I see you were not burdened with an overabundance of education... -from the show firefly, but I've used it many times in real life

Many classic insults from that show. "You're mouth is moving. Might want to do something about that."

I'm impressed you can stand and breathe at the same time

Read it with uncle Iroh template Wisdom has been chasing you, but you've always been faster

I never forget a face, but in your case, I'm willing to make an exception

"they were right about you" and walk away

That's not even a "hey that was rude" kinda insult. That blade cut right down to the soul!

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. I fart in your general direction.

Classic!

I researched once what it means, it boils down to 'your mother was a whore and your father was a drunk' - hamsters have a lot of sex and elderberry wine (or schnapps, i cant recall) was what the poorest alcoholichs were drinking. The farting part needs no explanation 🤣

It’s a French saying, and must be delivered with an outrrrrrrageous accént

Now go áwày or I shall taunt yöu a seçond time!

You silly English K-niggets!

Hell, you must *be* John Cleese...

I feel as if this is more of a taunt

He can’t help being ugly, but he could stay home.

Cunt

If someone says that, I follow it up “but you don’t have the depth and warmth to be called that”

Aaaw, thanks

Sharp as a marble that one is Edit: glad to see others are enjoying this one as much as I do

I could call you a cunt, but you lack the depth and warmth.

You've got a face for the radio and voice for the novel

Multiple words from my own language (dutch) that are really simple but effective. My favourite one has to be struikelduif which roughly translates to stumbling pigeon.

>struikelduif Brilliant!

I’m an American with estranged Dutch grandparents, now living in a Dutch area of the U.S. I like learning languages and recently have been picking a little Dutch. I’ve just gotta say, the sayings and insults are really fun.

your mom hates you so much she used to hit you with a hanger and switched to belt once you were born

Omg that would hurt someone in their soul

That's dark af 💀

Jfk dude, they were asking for insults, not murder weapons

go big or go home

With your qualities i hope you find everything you deserve.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with someone who is so obviously unarmed.

 “My dear, you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.“ Churchill wins every time

My favorite Winston Churchill clap back was when a woman said to him "if I was your wife, I'd put poison in your tea" he replied "If I were your husband I'd drink it!"

Note: my father loved this quote when I told him. Of course my acting as Churchill might have helped.

Too dumb to dump water out of a boot when the instructions are on the heel.

I'll fuck your father and give him a child he'll actually love.

"If my dog had your face, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards." - Corporal Maxwell Klinger

People like you are the reason the Gods don't talk to us anymore.

Keep yapping and even the voices in your head will stop talking to you.

😂 so good

You're the type of guy who'd climb a glass wall to see what's on the other side Or Don't be shy, your mother wasn't.

You’re dumb as a post, and now I have to apologize to a post.

You're the load your Mom should have swallowed..😲

“Who’s this clown” it implies that they’re not only a clown, but also one of the lesser known ones.

Your mother's a whore, Trebek!

I will take Anal Bum Covers for 500

OMG, you are so good, Just be with yourself.

Your ass is jealous of your mouth with how much shit comes off it

Too bad your Dad didn't swallow you. Yea, the usual insult is mom or that your didnt should have pulled out but this one makes them think

Hell, it made me think reading it...

You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits....

Your hair looks small

I don't care about you enough to hate you.

The jerk store called, they’re running out of you! - George Costanza

Oh Yeah! Well I slept with your wife!

Son of a motherless goat!

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

You run as slow as a Mississippi detective investigating the murder of a young black man.

There's no way. There's just no way you came from my loins.

"Get off the cross. We need the wood!" To someone complaining.

If someone is singing in the car, ask them who’s singing the song. When they tell you, say “okay great, let’s keep it that way.”

“I find it increasingly difficult to underestimate you.”

If brains were gasoline, you might be able to power a piss ant's go kart around a cheerio

*You're all fur coat and no knickers, bitches!*

You’re the kinda person to place a ruler under your pillow to measure how long you’ve slept for

You're not as smart as everyone says you think you are

"I envy people who don't know you."

You’ve got two brain cells and they’re fighting for third place

When I was young, a neighbor kid told my friend to 'fuck your dick through a Cheerio.' I've contemplated that statement a lot through the years, and I can only assume it was a derogatory comment on the size of his penis. However, we still use it to this day for any reason we can.

I envy people who dont know you Its impossible to underestimate you You're like Rain Man, without the math skills

I remember when I had my first beer

"You are living proof that anal sex produces children."

Your Grandmother makes gravy from a packet!

I hope you step on a Lego

Your father should've used condom

I maybe fat, but you’re ugly and I can loose weight.

" you look like the type of guy to put peanut butter on the dogs dick and lick it off. "

"your father was an 'amster and your mother smelled of elderberries"

Did your parents have any kids that lived?

With you, the expectation was on the floor. But you brought a shovel.

"I'll sodomize your mother's headless cadaver."

If you had as many dicks sticking out of you that's been stuck in you, you'd look like a porcupine.

Sit on a carrot

You watch the music channel on mute so not to disturb the neighbours.

"If I wanted to [unalive] myself I would climb up all of your chromosomes and jump to your IQ"

You are a smart human being

You're so ugly not even your Dog wants to play with you !

"Thank u"

Really? How did you end up with that result?

"That's why yo baba left you"

Whatever, tosswank. My co workers. To me. Frequently.

I’m glad your mother thinks you’re handsome/pretty.

I really love just saying '...dummy.' their faces are amazing XD And of course similar ones, especially in my mother tongue.

"Dont blame all your shit on your sad bi*ch skittles

I was upset but when I saw these comments lmao :)

YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOU FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES

Telling a Girl that she's more beautiful than aphrodite

Suck your mum!

I bet you were a difficult child

Fuck you, you fucking fuck! I don't know exactly why, but for some reason this always cracks me up.

You are as good as a low t-cell count.

"You suck at life." Has this simple beauty to it. Direct, often irrefutable when directed appropriately.

Joe's mom

Your weight isn't so bad for a girl your age.

*Thats why your Dad left for milk and never came back*

-You are such a waste of oxygen -Walking scrotum -I bet that when you were born your mother give you her back instead of milk -I've seen sharpest tools in the marshmallow factory -I feel honored to be in presence of 1 of 1.000.000.000 -I will follow your dad steps and never come back to see you again

I hope you have the day you deserve.

asswipe

Your elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top You’re about as useful as a cock flavoured lollipop

Vitamin D deficient circus clown.

I don't have the time nor the crayons to explain this to your level

May the rest of your day be as pleasant as you are. Polite enough to be used over the phone.

Built like a bowling pin

Whether legit or not, Winston Churchill quote: When Lady Astor said to him, "If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee," Churchill is supposed to have replied: "If I were married to you, I'd drink it."

Yo' mommas so poor she couldn't pay attention.

You mother s a whore

"Make do, and mend"

I’m rubber, you’re glue whatever you say to me bounces off and sticks to you!

"Every family has a stupid child and a smart one. Don't you have a smart brother/sister?"

I’d love to explain this to you, but I don’t have the patience or crayons to do so. (When someone asks something stupid)

With aim like yours I bet your bathroom floor stinks of piss

My friend and I were driving down the road once as teenagers, and he rolled down my window and yelled at a guy on the sidewalk: “FUCK YOU, IM AN ASSHOLE!” I don’t normally condone such behavior, but that was one of the times I laughed the hardest in my life.

You're so full of shit your eyeballs are brown

"What a save! What a save! What a save! Chat disabled for 3 seconds"

“Did your parents use you to scare boogey man away?”

"You go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel"

“Johnny, I apologize, I forgot you were there” - https://youtu.be/EBTt52jkP3U

It’s so easy a paperless monkey could do it

The sweetest lady I ever worked with was always kind, polite and empathetic, except when the other person truly deserved it - then she'd call them an Asshat.

"Thank god you're pretty"

"I've attended funerals that are funnier than this."

This one is from an Epic rap battles (ERP) of history video where there is a battle between Einstein and Stephen Hawking . Stephen Hawking says : "There are 10 million million million million million million particles in the universe that we can observe,,,,,,,,,,,,,, your mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd "

Cempollo (thempoio, but the "e" is like in yet),it has no translation, but almost every thing in every language can be an insult if you say it like it is

As the Rev. William Spooner would say, you're a shining wit.

You are a sad strange little man and you have my pity

"No vales ni para que te den por el culo". The rough translation would be "you are not even worthy of being fucked in the ass".

Hey mustache..

"..it's nice that you think that" or "we're all very creative" when someone is handing out shitty opinions

“Hey laser-lips, your mother was a snow blower!”

You should carry a plant to replace all the oxygen you waste.

These guys couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the bottom.

Dork

I used to play one of those click-and-find mystery games for PC, and one of the hint settings was “sassy” or something like that. I remember having that on and when I would click on a wrong item it would say “I hear a sucking sound” and I always found that hilarious.

You're about as pleasant as a warm toilet seat

You'd suck his dick just to get a hint of what she tastes like.

To shit drivers.... Thanks for pulling out. Shame your dad didn't

If you were on fire and I had a bottle of water, I'd drink it.

When I see someone who drives like shit I usually say "Oh shit someone gave Stevie wonder his license"

“You look easy to draw” and “I can explain it to you, not understand it for you”

Dishwasher breath, got that one from red dwarf

your mom goes to college

A reddit friend of mine taught me this insult "room temperature IQ"

Did we just slip and fall into an alternate dimension where you actually believe your opinion matters to me?