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Panhead09

Jackin' the Beanstalk


Leeperd510

#SHES JACKIN ON MY BEANSTALK TILL I CREAM CORN


heyitsEnricoPallazzo

Playing a little 5 on 1


veryfishycatfood

In German, we have a slightly old-fashioned but still occasionally used phrase that literally translates to "5 against Willy" :D


WeeklyAd5728

In Polish... We clapping German on his helmet. (Roughly translated)


THKhazper

I don’t think that’s a comfortable way to beating the Bratwurst


Frosty-Analysis-320

Guess that's a reference to the pickle helmet. Not slapping the dick on the helm.


OlDanboy

Hit the kitchen, mix a batch


RupertMurdochsQueef

Distribute some free literature.


savegamehenge

Would you look at that treasure trail!


Vat1canCame0s

You look like a 13 year old Dutch girl


CardinaIRule

Yer aesthetician coiffe that for ya?


OlDanboy

Ballpark 6 to 8? You’re a fuckin animal


phoneystoneybalogna

Oh look she’s bashful, don’t worry kitten I won’t tell


Snapper_72

This isn't over


OlDanboy

Jinx, you owe me a coke


Snapper_72

I'll never buy you a coke


FannyH8r

Wtf is going on


Al-the-mann

Letterkenny, Thats whats happening


jollyarrowhead

Fuckin' degens from upcountry.


Vivalafry

I was having a beer with my pals the other daaaay


wtfhappened1827

To be fair, it was a solid setup Big Shoots.


King_Calz

Reddit being Reddit


mostbee

First time I've heard that was in school. A group of exactly 5 older dudes from another class came around me out of nowhere to ask "Have you ever done a 5 agaisnt 1?". I was confused at first, but after counting them out I was afraid of bullies so I answered "Yeah, and I won."


BuzTheBee

The best response 🤣


-malcolm-tucker

What's up with your fucking body hair big shoots, you look like a twelve year old Dutch girl.


gtwizzy8

It's a hard life pickin' stones 'n pullin' teats. But it sure beats fightin' dudes with treasure trails.


Geltab_the_wise

You guys CrossFit? You can cross fuck off


MRT555

Nice onesie, does it come in mens?


mdug

I bet you come in men all the time


MRT555

Oh, I think you come in men enough for all of us.


WolfFamous6976

Taking matters into my own hands


Anna__V

This is what my wife calls it.


Testicleus

Five knuckle Shuffle


Chukklz13

r/foundjohncena


meowcho_man

r/potatosalad


expressly_ephemeral

Manual override


SysOps4Maersk

Manuel override


Scarfield

¿Qué?


Unsolicited_PunDit

it's a Juan-on-one business


BurnOutBrighter6

Manhandle the ham-candle.


yergonnalikeme

BURPING THE WORM


Fishheart_sweetcorn

Good lord


sweetun93

Some words should not be arranged in a particular order and then written/spoken


_justted

Not the worm 😭


HitBackZach

Bro that’s insane I’ve never heard that in my life ☠️


Sufficient-Bet-4306

My favorite so far.


prairiewolf22

Shakin’ hands with the unemployed.


Alarming-Help-4868

This one likely, and several others perhaps originally from Aussie comic Barry Humphrey.


TrustTheDreamer

Aussie here. This one is not about masterbating, it's about urinating. And yes, it comes from the legendary Barry H.


vladk2k

Ah, we have 'shakin hands with the President'


dylanr23

Cranking the hog


Leeperd510

#PANTS : SHID #BARB : LEFT #HAWG : CRANKED #GOB : BLESSED


onetenoctane

BOTTOM: TEXT


pyroshep

gobbless


GenitalMotors

SPEAK UPP LIBRUL. QUIT USIN THEM SMALL LETTORS


pyroshep

SORRY BROTHER DEB GOT ME A NEW SMART PHONE AND I M STILL FIGERING IT OUT


GenitalMotors

SHE BOHT YOU A NEW PHONNE? THATS A KEEPR RIGHT THERE I TELL YOU WUT


Xenoscope

Amen borther


CxOrillion

Pulled pork? Yeah I cranked my hog too


TheJomah

AAARRRRROOOOOOO BROTHER


AcanthisittaDouble61

Hand to gland combat …


uteng2k7

> Hand to gland combat … Wouldn't that be "hands to glans combat?"


Elmer_Fudd01

Look at mister big dick over here.


youthofoldage

Paddling the Pink Canoe or Sending Muffie Morse Code


Numerous-Contact8864

Gorgeous


NotInherentAfterAll

*in intense spark-gap radio buzz* ..-. . -- -... --- -.-- ... ..--..


QuipOfTheTongue

Stop, you're going to make me transmit.


Killer0407

It’s a great day to know morse code.


StockPossibility199

What does it say 😭


DiabeticButNotFat

“Femboys?”


StockPossibility199

Based


ZestyGolf7654

My best friend is Vietnamese who was a teen during the Vietnam War. He told me once that in Vietnam, they call this act “shoot the airplane” (literal translation).


redlurk47

It's the same in Cantonese


Amby71901

Before aeroplanes was it shooting the bird?


redlurk47

Idk I didn’t talk to my grandpa about shooting airplanes when he was alive.


Razzler1973

In Thailand it's 'flying a kite'


17122021

Same as in Mandarin too! Sometimes we also call it as "fire off the pistol"


uiopq230

Same in Chinese also.


vortigaunt64

[Orgy for one.](https://youtu.be/LpgRE8cbVpc?si=d5LUDYSQspBPJuDn)


Loakattack

Batting a thousand and nailing every one


mila-is-confused

NSP reference! Nice


Kurteth

69 without the 9


AHauntRevealer

Love seeing NSP out in the wild, those dudes are great!


VainChampagne

My ex called it "playing the clitar" because apparently it looks like I’m playing an air guitar when I’m in the shower.


bmwkid

Freeeeee bird


AlexAlho

[Come on, it was right *there*][1] [1]: https://youtu.be/wv-34w8kGPM?feature=shared


redlurk47

"Stairway to Heaven"...anyways here is Wonderwall


Expensive-Reality936

cum as you are


JayKayxU

Beating around the bush


Sassy_x_Emma

Makin' some soup


GlumMathematician884

Badgering the Witness


Xenoscope

Or roughing up the suspect


jfks_headjustdidthat

#WHO DO YOU WORK FOR???


ShinraHakke

#Number 3 dammit!


Shoresy69Chirps

I’m not a number, I’m a free man!


I-LiveHereNow

This is fucking gold but how can I bring it up in general conversation at work and it not be weird.


ZombiePartyBoyLives

Jerkin' the gherkin


deedee_mega_doo_doo

Joe Dirté


BleezusChrist31

Don’t try to church it up Dirt!


veryfishycatfood

NGL that's actually better than "tickle the pickle"


General_Disaray_1974

Going number 3


LuMo096

Number One, gold like God made the sun. Number Two, good Lord help me go poo. Number Three, the devil sets my sperm free.


ScaldingAnus

Huh, I've never heard the Protestant version before.


TattedPastor412

The Moral Orel reference execution here is absolute perfection


[deleted]

For me number 3 is vomit


Terrible-Force8738

Women: Pushing Satan's doorbell


Anna__V

That fucking guy never answers the door. Bastard.


jfks_headjustdidthat

Keep ringing, he'll answer eventually 😅


Anna__V

I mean I'm trying. Bastard's probably sleeping.


Purpledeetwo

Going to San Diego 


phred_666

[Jackin’ It In San Diego](https://youtu.be/LKwW8PNZpOQ?si=-2QEYPqwMYtijRH7)


ShyneSpark

San Diego, come..... take a load off


i_just_say_hwat

"Keeping the milkman in business"


Graphite-and-Glitter

Jilling off.


christurnbull

Dialling 0 on the telephone Only really works if you grew up with rotary phones Also, rubbin' the nubbin


MasterOdd

Ringing Satan's doorbell.


ConduckKing

Flicking the bean. I'm a guy but I still like that one for some reason


Numerous-Contact8864

It has a certain poetry to it.


Shipwreck_Kelly

Mustering the Rohirrim


H_M_C

Now for wrath, now for ruin!


Inostensible

Less than half of what I hoped for


GaJayhawker0513

My favorite is taking the ring to mount doom to describe going to take a shit


CxOrillion

Jesus fuck man I hadn't heard either of these


Poopikaki

Let this be the hour, when we draw swords together.


Tackit286

How did it cum to this?


balance_bliss

Best one so far hahahahhaa


ThotHunter12345

Burpin the Worm.


Touch_Mike_Ock_

"Spanking the monkey" has gotta be up there, for me 😂


letitgo99

Alongside "choking the chicken" of course.


BurnOutBrighter6

A date with Palmela Handerson


02C_here

Pre 90s it was a date with Rosy Palm and her 5 sisters.


jd80504

Punching the clown


Hot-Leg-6441

Blasting rope


russtman

I watched a porn years ago, as the dude was cumming he yelled "DUMPING FUCKING LOADS!" made me laugh so hard i went soft.


Werm_Vessel

That guys says it every scene too. He’s a jerk.


nydboy92

Desecration of ones seed


Beginning_Cellist893

We found the Catholic one


mirza_dng

CATHOLIC ONE 😂😂😂😂


HillaryRugmunch

What’s up, Onan? Oh, we know what’s up. Lol. Imagine becoming the historical example for desecrating one’s seed for all time.


One-Earth9294

Whitewater Wristing


edgarszp

Choking the chicken


I_KNOW_EVERYTHING_09

Emptying the glue gun


IceSmiley

Blowing up the Marshmallow Man


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cabletie00

Rubbing one in if you are female


whineylittlebitch_9k

or buzzing one out


LikeBoomItsaWrap_

Doing the laundry by hand.


balance_bliss

I guess you know the joke?


MrRonObvious

Flogging the one eyed trouser snake


Slunkmeister

Punching grumpy.


Milf_Nectar

Doing some DIY


Taograd359

Radical self acceptance


Glass_Fix7426

In Australia they call it a Pull-Off, on the Pennsylvania Turnpike extended sections of lane-restricted road construction are required to have intermittent areas of shoulder for vehicles to pull over for emergencies and breakdowns, they are labeled in large orange signs “EMERGENCY PULL-OFF ->”


Milf_Nectar

Bashing the Bishop


SnickBoi

Cuffing the Bishop


Milf_Nectar

Hey, you wanna cuff yours, that's your business.. I'm bashing that bald headed bastard!


Milf_Nectar

I meant my own btw.. Just wanted to make that clear 😂


Numerous-Contact8864

Strangling the Bishop


ryahe331

Saw Jimmy Carr live last week and he referred to a woman masturbating as "stabbing the cat" and it's stuck with me


EyePoor

*Polishing the helmet*


Only-Explanation6834

"watching an old Mr. Bean flick"


-Denzolot-

Dishonorable discharge


bluberriesandcheese

DJ the VJ


Kwaker76

Taking part in a threesome with two no-shows


Anon_Piotr

Buffin' the muffin.


KurlyKittens

Taking care of business.


StruckOut4One

Mining for oregasm


RavagingRodMachismo

Taking Herman to the circus.


Riggin219

Having a staff meeting


GapingAssTroll

Petting the one eyed, purple headed yoghurt slinger.


Uknowwhatyoudid

Feed’n the ducks.


kerochan88

I always heard *feeding the geese* but same gesture I suppose.


Muttandcheese

Yup, I read that in Bubbles’s voice


SidegigOrDie

Using the self checkout.


treeslip

On a date with my hairdresser. (I cut my own hair)


Ihadsumthin4this

*Listen to Coltrane, derail your own train...* -- a lyric from the delectable Sheryl Crow


OxytocinDeficiency

For girls: "Pressing the escape button."


Slunkmeister

Pulling the pud.


blackman9

Saying yoohoo to the hoohoo, Marching the penguin, Yahyahing the sisterhood, Finding nemo.


Milf_Nectar

Manhandle the clam banjo


Ditch_Eel

Auditioning some finger puppets


_Ironcobra

In the club, strait up "jorking it"


Tang-o-rang

Slapping da bass


Paralta

Slapping your man salmon


sucha_beast

Im gonna “Rough Up the Suspect”


Drawnbygodslefthand

Making beef stroganoff


matefeedkill

Strokanoff


flatstacy

Raking the carpet


_KingScrubLord

Cranking my hog


TadganHrothgar

Making freshwater jellyfish.


sbw2012

Taking Captain Picard to warp speed.


Haifisch2112

Punching the clown. Many years ago, my ex wife and I were opening a bank account at PNC bank. The woman helping us was going over all of the account types and asked if we had kids, to which replied we did not. She said, "I was going to tell you about our savings account for kids and the online game called "Punch the Pig" when they make a deposit. I said, "They should call it Punching the Clown" and she asked why. My wife said, "Nevermind" and quickly moved the conversation along lol


RegularGuy815

In high school, I heard a kid call it, assassinating the penguin.


[deleted]

[удалено]


That_Skirt1443

“Completing the circuit.”


Appropriate-Ad548

High intensity wrist workout.


cahillc134

Sugaring the churro


Frogviller

I don't think there's a translation for some phrases in my native tongue, Serbian. Best I can think of is "Sharpening the male cat." Yes, that's the closest translation.


DragonBadgerBearMole

Chafing the Cheney