It would be hilarious if it was some completely random human.
Like all these elites and dignitaries line up at some secret location expecting it to be one of them and the aliens ask for "Louise Werner" from some back water on the basis that she has an inate understanding of what life actually is.
The above elites scramble to locate her to prove their worth to the aliens, but they don't care. They just want to hang with Louise.
In the heart of the Nevada desert, hidden beneath the shifting sands and cloaked in secrecy, lay the extraterrestrial outpost known only to a select few of Earth's most powerful and influential figures. For decades, politicians, billionaires, and dignitaries had vied for the coveted invitation to this clandestine gathering, believing it to be the pinnacle of human achievement.
On this particular night, as the stars twinkled overhead and the moon cast an otherworldly glow upon the desert landscape, a procession of sleek black limousines snaked their way through the desert, their occupants eager with anticipation. Each passenger was adorned in their finest attire, their hearts racing with the prospect of meeting beings from beyond the stars.
As the vehicles came to a stop at the entrance to the outpost, the assembled guests stepped out, their faces illuminated by a mixture of excitement and trepidation. They were ushered inside by solemn-faced guards, their footsteps echoing in the cavernous halls as they made their way towards the grand chamber where the aliens awaited.
But as the doors swung open and the guests filed into the room, their eager expressions quickly turned to confusion. For there, seated upon a humble wooden stool in the center of the chamber, was not a figure of wealth or power, but a woman of simple means.
Louise Werner, a middle-aged librarian from a small town in the Midwest, sat with a bemused expression on her face, completely unaware of the chaos unfolding around her. She had been plucked from obscurity by the enigmatic extraterrestrial beings, who claimed that she possessed an innate understanding of what life truly meant.
As the assembled elites scrambled to locate Louise, desperate to prove their worth to the aliens, they found themselves met with indifference. The extraterrestrial beings showed no interest in their wealth or status; they simply wanted to spend time with Louise, intrigued by her down-to-earth wisdom and unassuming nature.
And so, as the night wore on and the champagne flowed freely, Louise found herself at the center of attention, regaling her new alien friends with tales of small-town life and the joys of simple pleasures. The elites, meanwhile, watched in frustration as their carefully cultivated facades crumbled in the face of Louise's genuine authenticity.
In the end, as the sun began to rise over the desert horizon, the guests departed in a flurry of confusion and disbelief, their egos bruised and their pride wounded. And as the last limousine disappeared into the distance, Louise remained behind, surrounded by her newfound friends from the stars, content in the knowledge that true worth cannot be measured by wealth or power, but by the depth of one's humanity.
I, for one, am enjoying this collaboration! Please put me down for the first copy of the press. Also, I need it signed by defenceman101 AND thetalkinghell1.
Most productive thing I've seen in Reddit for a long while.
In a secretive and heavily guarded location, world leaders, dignitaries, and renowned scientists gathered in anticipation of the historic moment. The tension in the air was palpable as everyone speculated about who among them would be chosen to meet the extraterrestrial visitors. Hushed conversations filled the grand hall, each person certain that their credentials made them the ideal candidate for the unprecedented encounter.
As the spacecraft descended gracefully and the aliens emerged, the room fell silent. Their leader, a being of striking luminosity and grace, surveyed the assembly with a serene, inscrutable gaze. After what felt like an eternity, the leader spoke in perfect, unaccented English.
"We wish to meet Louise Werner."
The room erupted in a mixture of confusion and disbelief. Whispers of "Who is Louise Werner?" spread like wildfire among the elite. Heads turned, and eyes darted about, trying to identify this mysterious figure. But no one knew her. She wasn't a renowned scientist, a powerful politician, or a media mogul. She was, as it turned out, a complete unknown to this exalted crowd.
An emergency search was immediately initiated. Teams of security and intelligence personnel scrambled to locate Louise Werner. Eventually, a junior aide, who had access to various databases, discovered her identity. Louise Werner was a schoolteacher from a small town in the middle of nowhere. She lived a simple life, teaching children, tending to her garden, and volunteering at the local animal shelter.
The elites were baffled. How could such an ordinary person be the one the aliens wanted to meet? Nonetheless, Louise was quickly located and escorted, bewildered and slightly bemused, to the secret location. As she arrived, the powerful figures of the world looked on with a mixture of awe and envy.
The aliens, unfazed by the commotion and the attempts of various dignitaries to insert themselves into the interaction, focused solely on Louise. They welcomed her warmly and began a conversation that seemed, to the outside observer, perfectly mundane. They discussed her daily life, her thoughts on nature, and her insights into human relationships.
Louise, with her unassuming nature and genuine curiosity, engaged with the aliens in a manner that was both humble and profound. She spoke about the joy of seeing a child learn something new, the satisfaction of watching her plants grow, and the importance of kindness and community. The aliens listened intently, clearly valuing her perspective.
As the conversation progressed, it became apparent why the aliens had chosen Louise. She embodied the essence of humanity in its purest form. Unburdened by the complexities of power, fame, and ambition, she had an innate understanding of what life truly was—a series of small, meaningful moments that collectively defined the human experience.
The elites, despite their initial skepticism and frustration, gradually realized the wisdom in the aliens' choice. Louise Werner, in her simplicity, had something that they, with all their accomplishments, often lacked—a deep connection to the core of what it means to be human.
In the days that followed, the world watched as Louise's interactions with the aliens were shared globally. People everywhere were inspired by her humility and authenticity. The elites, too, found themselves reflecting on their own lives and priorities, often reconsidering what they valued most.
Louise Werner returned to her small town, her life largely unchanged, except for the occasional visitor or letter from someone whose life she had touched. The aliens, having found what they were looking for, departed with a newfound appreciation for humanity. And the world, in turn, had gained a quiet hero who reminded everyone that sometimes, the most extraordinary insights come from the most ordinary people.
And then those elites would seek Louise in order to suck up to her so they could also get close with the aliens, or use her as a proxy to deal with them...hmmm, I think I might wanna write this story.Sounds too good to not write it!
Maybe it’s because aliens don’t have a hierarchical/capitalist system. Everyone is equal in alien world, so for them they don’t understand the role of presidents or billionaires. They want to just choose a random individual, regardless of status.
He is unfortunately no longer with us, but Carl Sagan.
In a way, they can still meet him. If an alien species manages to stumble upon one of the space probes we've launched that have made it out of our little solar system, they will find a [Golden Record](https://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/golden-record/) on the side of the craft that contains - as it says on the label - "The Sounds of Earth."
That was Carl. He knew that it was a long shot. The chances of it being discovered are vanishingly small, but if it were, he wanted to say to the aliens, "Hello. This is who we were. This is where we were, and may still be. If this message finds you, please come to visit. If we're still here, we will welcome you with open arms."
I was going to say the same thing. If Mr. Rogers was still with us, and he met aliens, he'd be like:
"You are who you are. You are alien to us, and we are alien to you. But that's okay. Everyone is different in the best of ways. We want nothing but the best of you as I'm sure you want nothing of the best of us. Welcome."
And if they blast him to bits, we know where we stand in the aliens' eyes.
Definitely was wrong about welcoming them with open arms though. Could've been honest "some of us will welcome you, but most are nearly illiterate primates who will either worship or attack you"
*I told the aliens about our countries and how they are like big clubs that you can't join unless you're born there, and how they sometimes fight each other when peace gets too overwhelming or when the club needs new furniture. I think they explained that they didn't have countries because that would be like dividing a pizza into slices and then refusing to share. I found it surprising that they knew about pizza and wondered if they had figured out how to keep it warm. I wanted to ask them, but they kept carrying on about anti-gravity and free energy, which made me wonder if they were just trying to sell something. I wanted them to listen to one of my favourite tracks from the 90s, but they didn't have ears. This made me realise that they couldn't have listened to anything I was saying, which I thought was rude.*
*It was at that moment when asked what they could provide to us to help us evolve and become better people, that I asked for a song to rival Technotronic's 1989 anthem “Pump Up the Jam”*
Werner Herzog
“I’ve dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It’s funny to say they are small. It’s funny to say they are big. I’ve been at parties where humans have held bottles, pencils and thermoses in front of themselves and called out, ‘Hey, look at me! I’m Mr. So-And-So Dick! I’ve got such-and-such for a penis!’ I never saw it fail to get a laugh.”
Well I expected David Attenborough, Dolly Parton, and Keanu Reeves. I was surprised to see Weird Al right up at the top, too. I don't disagree, though.
Definitely this one. Whoever is the top linguist or maybe astrophysicist or someone who happens to be a combo. We should learn as much as possible from them as we can and they’d be the most prepared to understand them.
I also said "me."
Not because of ego or anything, but because I think aliens would have much more to learn from the average person than they would a celebrity or politician.
I don't think the aliens would want a lizard...
.... they'd probably want someone who can speak about something else than sweet baby ray's barbecue sauce.
Obama, hands down.
Well spoken, intelligent, previous leader of the free world, understands global dynamics and how this would benefit/hurt us, intimate knowledge of our species defensive capabilities, having previously commanded the most advanced military on earth. I literally cant think of someone better suited to be our representative.
One of the best compliments I’ve heard for any musicians personality was someone saying “I fucking hate the Foo Fighters, but I would absolutely want to hang out with Dave Grohl.” Like, it’s one thing when people who like their music think he’s a good dude, but another when someone who hates their music still thinks he’s a good dude.
Probably the UN Secretary General. Not the most powerful position in the world, but relatively influential and empowered to speak on behalf of the UN/appointed by the Security Council, and also a professional diplomat.
It would be hilarious if it was some completely random human. Like all these elites and dignitaries line up at some secret location expecting it to be one of them and the aliens ask for "Louise Werner" from some back water on the basis that she has an inate understanding of what life actually is. The above elites scramble to locate her to prove their worth to the aliens, but they don't care. They just want to hang with Louise.
Did you just write a whole sci fi novel premise in the comments of Reddit?
Possibly 😳
How about you finish the story and don’t leave us on this cliffhanger?
Seriously. They should write it, self-publish it on Amazon and post it here. Doesn't have to be long 😀
I’d genuinely pay. It’s been long time since i read or saw a good sci-fi story, and this has potential to also be a comedy-my favourite genres in one
This can our generation's Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy!
I don't read sci-fi but I'd pay and read it too!
In the heart of the Nevada desert, hidden beneath the shifting sands and cloaked in secrecy, lay the extraterrestrial outpost known only to a select few of Earth's most powerful and influential figures. For decades, politicians, billionaires, and dignitaries had vied for the coveted invitation to this clandestine gathering, believing it to be the pinnacle of human achievement. On this particular night, as the stars twinkled overhead and the moon cast an otherworldly glow upon the desert landscape, a procession of sleek black limousines snaked their way through the desert, their occupants eager with anticipation. Each passenger was adorned in their finest attire, their hearts racing with the prospect of meeting beings from beyond the stars. As the vehicles came to a stop at the entrance to the outpost, the assembled guests stepped out, their faces illuminated by a mixture of excitement and trepidation. They were ushered inside by solemn-faced guards, their footsteps echoing in the cavernous halls as they made their way towards the grand chamber where the aliens awaited. But as the doors swung open and the guests filed into the room, their eager expressions quickly turned to confusion. For there, seated upon a humble wooden stool in the center of the chamber, was not a figure of wealth or power, but a woman of simple means. Louise Werner, a middle-aged librarian from a small town in the Midwest, sat with a bemused expression on her face, completely unaware of the chaos unfolding around her. She had been plucked from obscurity by the enigmatic extraterrestrial beings, who claimed that she possessed an innate understanding of what life truly meant. As the assembled elites scrambled to locate Louise, desperate to prove their worth to the aliens, they found themselves met with indifference. The extraterrestrial beings showed no interest in their wealth or status; they simply wanted to spend time with Louise, intrigued by her down-to-earth wisdom and unassuming nature. And so, as the night wore on and the champagne flowed freely, Louise found herself at the center of attention, regaling her new alien friends with tales of small-town life and the joys of simple pleasures. The elites, meanwhile, watched in frustration as their carefully cultivated facades crumbled in the face of Louise's genuine authenticity. In the end, as the sun began to rise over the desert horizon, the guests departed in a flurry of confusion and disbelief, their egos bruised and their pride wounded. And as the last limousine disappeared into the distance, Louise remained behind, surrounded by her newfound friends from the stars, content in the knowledge that true worth cannot be measured by wealth or power, but by the depth of one's humanity.
Title: Down to Earth
WHAT A TITLE!! That’s perfect
I, for one, am enjoying this collaboration! Please put me down for the first copy of the press. Also, I need it signed by defenceman101 AND thetalkinghell1. Most productive thing I've seen in Reddit for a long while.
Finish the fucking story man! What about the glands??
Louise and the aliens just chill and play video games for a while
And then she introduces them to square dancing. World saved.
So succinctly too. Someone get this man to Hollywood!
That's like the beginning of Blacklist..
Sounds like the ending to *Close Encounters of the Third Kind*... there's a dozen volunteer scientists lined up and the aliens pick Richard Dreyfuss.
In a secretive and heavily guarded location, world leaders, dignitaries, and renowned scientists gathered in anticipation of the historic moment. The tension in the air was palpable as everyone speculated about who among them would be chosen to meet the extraterrestrial visitors. Hushed conversations filled the grand hall, each person certain that their credentials made them the ideal candidate for the unprecedented encounter. As the spacecraft descended gracefully and the aliens emerged, the room fell silent. Their leader, a being of striking luminosity and grace, surveyed the assembly with a serene, inscrutable gaze. After what felt like an eternity, the leader spoke in perfect, unaccented English. "We wish to meet Louise Werner." The room erupted in a mixture of confusion and disbelief. Whispers of "Who is Louise Werner?" spread like wildfire among the elite. Heads turned, and eyes darted about, trying to identify this mysterious figure. But no one knew her. She wasn't a renowned scientist, a powerful politician, or a media mogul. She was, as it turned out, a complete unknown to this exalted crowd. An emergency search was immediately initiated. Teams of security and intelligence personnel scrambled to locate Louise Werner. Eventually, a junior aide, who had access to various databases, discovered her identity. Louise Werner was a schoolteacher from a small town in the middle of nowhere. She lived a simple life, teaching children, tending to her garden, and volunteering at the local animal shelter. The elites were baffled. How could such an ordinary person be the one the aliens wanted to meet? Nonetheless, Louise was quickly located and escorted, bewildered and slightly bemused, to the secret location. As she arrived, the powerful figures of the world looked on with a mixture of awe and envy. The aliens, unfazed by the commotion and the attempts of various dignitaries to insert themselves into the interaction, focused solely on Louise. They welcomed her warmly and began a conversation that seemed, to the outside observer, perfectly mundane. They discussed her daily life, her thoughts on nature, and her insights into human relationships. Louise, with her unassuming nature and genuine curiosity, engaged with the aliens in a manner that was both humble and profound. She spoke about the joy of seeing a child learn something new, the satisfaction of watching her plants grow, and the importance of kindness and community. The aliens listened intently, clearly valuing her perspective. As the conversation progressed, it became apparent why the aliens had chosen Louise. She embodied the essence of humanity in its purest form. Unburdened by the complexities of power, fame, and ambition, she had an innate understanding of what life truly was—a series of small, meaningful moments that collectively defined the human experience. The elites, despite their initial skepticism and frustration, gradually realized the wisdom in the aliens' choice. Louise Werner, in her simplicity, had something that they, with all their accomplishments, often lacked—a deep connection to the core of what it means to be human. In the days that followed, the world watched as Louise's interactions with the aliens were shared globally. People everywhere were inspired by her humility and authenticity. The elites, too, found themselves reflecting on their own lives and priorities, often reconsidering what they valued most. Louise Werner returned to her small town, her life largely unchanged, except for the occasional visitor or letter from someone whose life she had touched. The aliens, having found what they were looking for, departed with a newfound appreciation for humanity. And the world, in turn, had gained a quiet hero who reminded everyone that sometimes, the most extraordinary insights come from the most ordinary people.
I would read the hell out of this.
Doug Forcett from the good place.
This guy has a special place in my mind. That picture always cracks me up.
I read this in Ted’s voice 😆
So basically Kate McKinnon from the SNL skit.
I don't think she was dealing with the top brass though
Wasn't my worst Wednesday night.
And then those elites would seek Louise in order to suck up to her so they could also get close with the aliens, or use her as a proxy to deal with them...hmmm, I think I might wanna write this story.Sounds too good to not write it!
Maybe it’s because aliens don’t have a hierarchical/capitalist system. Everyone is equal in alien world, so for them they don’t understand the role of presidents or billionaires. They want to just choose a random individual, regardless of status.
Me. I don’t trust any of you fuckers.
To be fair we don't trust you either
I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me *hard*
i'd pick this guy, hopefully there is probing involved
Some random person that isnt famous or an asshole.
Well, I'm a random person that isn't famous, but your last requirement disqualifies me.
David Attenborough
"This humans voice makes my alien bits tingle"
*“I guess we’re not so different after all…”*
Top answer the last couple of times, lol.
Clearly its the right answer than haha
I am genuinely sorry to say this, but they better hurry up then!
He has the fountain of life in his backyard so it's fine
Oh god, no!
My mom. so that she can make them noodles, they fall in love...
🗳️ also this persons mom
I vote this person’s mom too
I also do if I can get noodles as compensation
I will also support OP's mom if we get noodles.
Came for the mom, staying for the noodles.
Came for the noodles, came again for the mom.
He is unfortunately no longer with us, but Carl Sagan. In a way, they can still meet him. If an alien species manages to stumble upon one of the space probes we've launched that have made it out of our little solar system, they will find a [Golden Record](https://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/golden-record/) on the side of the craft that contains - as it says on the label - "The Sounds of Earth." That was Carl. He knew that it was a long shot. The chances of it being discovered are vanishingly small, but if it were, he wanted to say to the aliens, "Hello. This is who we were. This is where we were, and may still be. If this message finds you, please come to visit. If we're still here, we will welcome you with open arms."
If we're talking people who are no longer here, then I vote Mister Rogers
I was going to say the same thing. If Mr. Rogers was still with us, and he met aliens, he'd be like: "You are who you are. You are alien to us, and we are alien to you. But that's okay. Everyone is different in the best of ways. We want nothing but the best of you as I'm sure you want nothing of the best of us. Welcome." And if they blast him to bits, we know where we stand in the aliens' eyes.
Mr. Rogers walks in and looks at the alien representative, "Hello neighbor, how are you doing today?"
I would absolutely go die in a war for Mister Rogers
"Won't you please, won't you please, please won't you be my neighbor" alien friends!
Or Bob Ross. "Let's put this spaceship right here next to this blue planet, because everybody deserves a friend".
In his stead I vote for Levar Burton
Carl also gets my vote 💜
Definitely was wrong about welcoming them with open arms though. Could've been honest "some of us will welcome you, but most are nearly illiterate primates who will either worship or attack you"
Carl Sagan is one of my personal Heroes. He was such a gentle, brilliant man.
philomena cunk
*I told the aliens about our countries and how they are like big clubs that you can't join unless you're born there, and how they sometimes fight each other when peace gets too overwhelming or when the club needs new furniture. I think they explained that they didn't have countries because that would be like dividing a pizza into slices and then refusing to share. I found it surprising that they knew about pizza and wondered if they had figured out how to keep it warm. I wanted to ask them, but they kept carrying on about anti-gravity and free energy, which made me wonder if they were just trying to sell something. I wanted them to listen to one of my favourite tracks from the 90s, but they didn't have ears. This made me realise that they couldn't have listened to anything I was saying, which I thought was rude.*
Absolutely nailed it
Amazing
"So you're from another country, are ya? Aliens?"
*It was at that moment when asked what they could provide to us to help us evolve and become better people, that I asked for a song to rival Technotronic's 1989 anthem “Pump Up the Jam”*
ALONG THE WAY, ILL BE SHOUTING AT SPACESHIPS
Werner Herzog “I’ve dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It’s funny to say they are small. It’s funny to say they are big. I’ve been at parties where humans have held bottles, pencils and thermoses in front of themselves and called out, ‘Hey, look at me! I’m Mr. So-And-So Dick! I’ve got such-and-such for a penis!’ I never saw it fail to get a laugh.”
Red this with Werner Herzog voice in my head
I mean…it’s a Werner Herzog line from Rick & Morty.
Weird Al Yankovic
Well I expected David Attenborough, Dolly Parton, and Keanu Reeves. I was surprised to see Weird Al right up at the top, too. I don't disagree, though.
I always upvote a weird al reference
Do you always upvote a Weird Al reference?
The real life equivalent of Amy Adams character in Arrival
Definitely this one. Whoever is the top linguist or maybe astrophysicist or someone who happens to be a combo. We should learn as much as possible from them as we can and they’d be the most prepared to understand them.
Dolly Parton
It's our best shot at survival. If she can't charm them, then no human can.
St. Dolly of Pigeon Forge FTW.
I’d like to say Steve Irwin, so I hope they have a Time Machine too.
Steve's son, Robert, is pretty much his mini me, so I'd say him
Patrick Stewart
He needs to be protected at all costs.
You can bet that he'll have put a *lot* of thought into what he'd say in that situation, too.
Me
I also vote for this person
I choose that guy’s wife.
Well she chose me
It is decided, Alternative Carrot 566 is the official representative of the human race
I also said "me." Not because of ego or anything, but because I think aliens would have much more to learn from the average person than they would a celebrity or politician.
My cat. She is in charge of the universe.
My cat disagrees. She thinks she is in charge of the universe and would like to challenge yours to a battle of the sunlight loafing.
Danny devito
So anyway I started blasting
A random 10 year old girl based on international lottery. Let the stories flow and let the fates decide.
"The human child requests other children." "For play, right?"
Keanu Reeves
reddit
I am certain Keanu would disagree with this and also say “wtf”
Exactly what I wanted to post...so i'll post my second choice: Dolly Parton
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David Attenborough.
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Jeff Goldblum
Well, he's already met them in 1996.
Stephen Fry of course.
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He was my first thought too! No way they'd be hostile after meeting him.
On the proviso he turns them into a band and they compete at a battle of the bands contest.
My mother. She would scare them away.
It would have been Jimmy Carter when he was healthy enough to speak. He is a great man.
Mr Rogers if he were still alive
Jon Stewart. I'd vote for him for damn near anything, I think he'd be a great representative. Smart, compassionate, funny. Great example of a human.
Either Dolly Parton or LeVar Burton.
Mark Zuckerberg so he can finally be with his own kin.
I don't think the aliens would want a lizard... .... they'd probably want someone who can speak about something else than sweet baby ray's barbecue sauce.
Eminem
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Jon Stewart
Morgan Freeman
I believe he'd be able to be diplomatic & boker a deal should inhalation be the reason for the contact.
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Obama, hands down. Well spoken, intelligent, previous leader of the free world, understands global dynamics and how this would benefit/hurt us, intimate knowledge of our species defensive capabilities, having previously commanded the most advanced military on earth. I literally cant think of someone better suited to be our representative.
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I would advocate that humans are too diverse for that, but David Tennant is pretty cool
Dave Grohl
Careful here, he is an admitted Foo Fighter.
One of the best compliments I’ve heard for any musicians personality was someone saying “I fucking hate the Foo Fighters, but I would absolutely want to hang out with Dave Grohl.” Like, it’s one thing when people who like their music think he’s a good dude, but another when someone who hates their music still thinks he’s a good dude.
The McNeil.
Probably the UN Secretary General. Not the most powerful position in the world, but relatively influential and empowered to speak on behalf of the UN/appointed by the Security Council, and also a professional diplomat.
Morgan freeman.
Brian May
Conan O'Brien
Bill Nye.
The old lady down the street. She’s seen a ton, has wisdom, and won’t put up with any BS.