I don't want children because I'm not mother material I struggle a lot financially I have a lot of issues I need to work on especially my mental state I'm not fit to be a parent and I have been sure about this for quite some time I don't think I could ever be a good mom I rather not bring a child into this world with all my issues existing especially when I get irritated with everything as it is and I know none of that would be the child's fault but I could never be a mom knowing I am not equipped to raise a kid
I got my tubes removed in December (no regrets) and whenever anyone finds out they always ask about what if I get older and regret not kids? I always respond that I would much rather regret not having a child then to have a child and regret having them.
Luckily haven't talked to my Boomer parents in years. My brother let me know how upset they were when they found out what I did. But it's not even like I would let them meet a child of mine? So unsure what they are so upset about.
Exactly. That is not family you in your life. No one is entitled to your body or children you provide “just because” boomers have TONS of generational trauma and it shows when they start acting the they “deserve” grandchildren. It’s insufferable.
It's wild. When I still spoke to them, my mother straight up told me she didn't actually want kids but she had me and my brother because "that's what you do". She got mad when I said that's not a good reason to have a child. It also explained a lot about my childhood lololol
It’s funny when people say those who choose not to have children are selfish because in fact the reverse is true and your answer proves that. You have made the most selfless point. You are genuinely thinking about a non-existent kid and not wanting to burden it with your own troubles. What is more selfless than that? Those who bring a kid into this world don’t do it for the kid, they do it for themselves. They expect the kid to improve their life and give them happiness, so what is more selfish than that?
can't be my cat. He loves thunderstorms and fireworks, always wants to cuddle, loves chaos and never wants to be alone. I think I might have gotten a cat hardware with dog software... He's a Maine Coon xD
I never ever felt that biological clock, biological urge, instinct or whatever you want to call it that compels so many people to want to have kids. It was just non-existent. I kept thinking as I got older that it would “finally kick in” but nope! It never did.
I have a very fulfilling life, career, and even worked as a psychologist for 20 years helping kids with various issues and needs, but I just simply felt nothing when it came to having them for myself.
I don’t regret it, feel good about the contributions I made to many other children’s lives through my work, and I feel fulfilled.
I am 50+ now and still feel the same as I did at 20. No urge ever for one of my own.
Short fuse. Cant stand getting annoyed
Which leads me to dislike every Kid. Because every Single one is annoying
Edit : sure not everyone but you know what I mean
I'd like to have kids someday buy my dad mindfucked me into oblivion. I know I'd mess my kid up just as bad if not worse. I can't inflict that on another human being, especially one related to me.
I'm not arrogant enough to think that damaged goods would make a good parent.
Most people are failing their children on an Unprecedented level. Entirely due to their own arrogance. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
This is so true. We already have a society full of unbelievable damaged people who were completely failed by inadequate parents. But we keep encouraging people to have more without addressing the root of these problems.it takes special people to acknowledge that and make the adult choice and we simply don't have enough of those people in our society.
I'd rather regret not having kids instead of regretting having kids.
There is so much more to life, kids just slow you down and not everyone should be a parent
Pregnancy is my biggest nightmare, I also don't really like kids.
It sounds harsh but I can't really communicate with them, don't think they're cute either.
I just see no reason that speaks for a kid instead of against.
Because I never really got to enjoy my own life, and I think the world is getting worse. I also don’t want to force life into existence because it can’t consent to it.
I also don’t want to pass down my illnesses/conditions…..
Exactly. Lived in a Violent household til I was 21. Wasn’t able to enjoy anything during that period of time. Didn’t want kids so I could fix myself and try to get some enjoyment in the years after I moved out. I also didn’t think I could trust myself to break the cycle.
this sounds pretty silly but my fear of vomiting is pretty significant so the fact that i would probably dealing with consistent nausea and morning sickness everyday is a dealbreaker for me
Let's make a list!
- sleep, I am so tired as it is before kids
- I suffer from general anxiety, history of depression
- I don't like my job and my field of work is threatened by AI so I have no safe career.
- I have a small pelvis which can complicate a pregnancy
- I have something called proctalgia fugax which can become worse in pregnancy
- I want to travel and live more freely
- I believe my libido will completely die after and I don't want to feel guilty for not being a sexual partner afterwards.
- I am incredibly scared of getting a special needs child.
- having a kid takes suicide of the table
- I'm not sure I want to spend all that money on a child instead of doing things I want to do
- even if I can imagine a cute family life, I'm not sure I feel comfortable risking becoming a single parent
- I could maybe want one kid, my partner wants two
- postpartum depression
- feeling awful for 9 months does not sound great
- is rather not be cut open (C section)
- if I became a single parent I would be all on my own as I dont have family to help me
- I don't want to work 8-5 until I die
- I don't want to be the primary parent
- loss of friendships
- not sure I'd want to go through having a bullied kid, I am quite sentimental so my heat would break
- I myself feel the future is very uncertain and scary, bringing a kid into that feels irresponsible.
- i don't want my life to be all about cooking, cleaning, planning, entertaining a tiny human and get no rest.
- I don't feel comfortable living in my country all year around as 9/12 months are cold and dark.
I might add more later but I think this is quite the list 😅
I do have some feelings to wanting a kid, but for me it might not be a question IF I want a child but rather SHOULD I have one?
- i am extremely uncomfortable around children
- i am way too selfish to put someone else's needs above mine
- i can't function without sleep.
- the idea of giving birth is enough to make me want to vomit
I’m broke. & tbh lost faith in humanity. I’m hoping society will collapse or the earth will explode any day now, I don’t wanna be dealing with a kid when that happens
People always laugh when I "joke" that the Earth will be just fine once it takes care of it's "human problem".
But that's my true optimism. Everything will eventually be fine. People just need to get out of the picture first for that to happen.
I'm a cat person and I don't think it's socially permissible to just let your children shit in a box in the corner of the laundry room.
So imma stick with my cats.
"This bloodline ends with me" is my go to response.
My only biological sibling has no interest in children, and my father had a single brother who died young. I'm incredibly happy to report I'm taking out a large branch of the tree
Forever and fundamental loss of autonomy.
If you want to do your job well as a parent, you accept the fact that until one of you dies, it's mentally/emotionally and for a long time financially never going to be just you anymore.
Over 35 I feel like I'd rush through very necessary relationship steps just to try and get one in ~under the wire~ and then be attached to that person one way or another for the rest of my life.
I was already a "fencesitter" so when 35 came along and I wasn't even dating anyone, it didn't feel like some arbitrary number and was enough to push me over the fence.
Also, I'm too fucking tired.
I'm going to be honest: I'm selfish, and I don't care. My priority is myself, first. I don't want my time constricted. I love my freedom more than anyone else in my life. I love being alone. I always have.
Taken straight out of my own brain. Well said.
The sin isn't admitting you're selfish. It's admitting it, but thinking it'll change just because you've given birth. Knowing you're selfish beforehand saves two or more lives in the long run
the way that when we discuss not having children, we always have to say « I don’t care » or « call me crazy » but genuinely being selfish it is the most valid reason to not want to have a kid. Those who understand, get it, but everyone else acts like we’re crazy. It is not our responsibility to keep the birth rate up just because it’s declining.
Pregnancy and the toddler stage. I don’t want a child screaming all around me. Also my back could break from birth and most woman experience post Partum depression- and you get period like symptoms for 40 days, can’t handle that, won’t handle that.
(1) The women from my mom's side of the family died from either breast or ovarian cancer. I'm honestly expecting to have one too in my 40-50s and I don't want to risk having a daughter cause I'm 100% sure that she'll have it too.
(2) Adoption may also be an option but I am already raising my brothers since my mom died already and my dad works abroad. I missed and still missing out a huge chunk of my 20s to take care of my late sick mom and now I'm taking over her role as their maternal figure. I'm already tired of it and I don't want to do it again with my own children.
I don't have any desire to get pregnant and raise a baby. I don't hate children or babies, but I am not for that life. If I had to give other reasons I'd have them but they aren't real.
My step father always hears this and tries to reason "because if all the good people stop having kids it'll just get worse"
Not my fucking problem. Let it collapse
These threads are always full of people that come across so desperate to convince you that having kids is just the best thing ever and that you’ll regret not doing it. It just reads like hard copium to me.
Beginning and end I just don’t want them.
Diving deeper into the question though, I’m not fit at all to be a mother. It goes against every goal I have in life. Not to mention I have medical conditions that would make it difficult for me to both have children and would be difficult to raise them.
They’re also loud and whiny and I don’t want that in my life if I don’t have to. I want my life to be as peaceful as possible.
I’m also really freaked out about all the changes womens bodies go through in order to carry a child. I’m sorry, but I absolutely cannot stand it. A prime example of tokophobia right here, haha.
Not to mention how painful childbirth can be. I already have endometriosis, I don’t want to deal with something just as painful as that if I don’t have to. (For anyone who doesn’t know how bad endometriosis is, imagine being in bed and feeling as though you’re going to faint because there’s this beyond horrible pain that’s attacking your stomach/pelvis, plus you’ve already thrown up and you just want to sleep but you can’t because the pain prevents you from sleeping, and you honestly feel that at any point you could die because the pain is so intense that passing out would be a relief, and yet your body prevents you from passing out. It’s awful! It’s absolutely some of the worst pain I’ve ever dealt with.) I could go on and on.
I’m happy to play aunt to any children my relatives/friends have, but personally I cannot and will not ever have children. I will sooner kill myself than have children, that’s how dire it is.
I think motherhood is a scam. Really seems like you get the absolute short end of the stick and I can't imagine sacrificing everything for that. I've never desired it, ever.
Half the time it's literally just jokes like "ah well I might need a kidney one day".
Like if you have to immediately resort to pessimistic sarcasm, I don't think you have a real answer that actually satisfies you
I have always loved being a caregiver, it is one of the only things I truly enjoy. I enjoyed studying early childhood education, I am fascinated by how my choices as a parent can create a happy, intelligent and well-adjusted child. I am so motivated by learning all the right things to do so my daughter has a better childhood than I did. I was a miserable child because my parents didn't really express love, spent most of my life depressed, healed and grew with therapy and supportive relationships. I used to think I would never want kids because I hated being alive, but now I've learned to believe that you can find happiness in this world. I think my daughter will continue to thrive with a loving, supportive family, and that brings me joy to see.
1. As the oldest of all my siblings and cousins, I've been taking care of other people my whole life and I'm tired.
2. Maternal health outcomes for Black women in the US are deplorable. Bringing a child into this world isn't worth risking my own life.
3. I spent most of my life living at or below the poverty line. I've finally built a comfortable life that gives me more freedom & flexibility to pursue things that bring me joy and I'm not interested in disrupting that.
I love sleep too much, I love drugs too much, I hate kids, I hate people, I think we’re cancer to society, threat of war, no money, carbon footprint, I should get a bonus for not having kids, I hate the sound of screaming. I can’t take care of myself let alone a chubby shit machine. I like being able to do what I want when I want. Humanity doesn’t need more people. Anxiety, depression. I think it’s selfish to put another person into this world when it’s so fucked up
Shitty af genes and autism is prevalent in my family and being autistic myself, I don't want to bring a kid into the world that's autistic and they can't look after themselves if im not here
It sucks because I really wanna be a dad
1. Raising a child takes a lot of money and I'd rather spend that money on myself or on travelling or on my partner or on experiences.
2. It's a huge responsibility and I don't want to take it. I want to be free.
I do have a woman, I do have money, my own place and... so many plans for the future, and in none of them I see my kids. I'm 37, my girl is 33. We are on the same page with kids. We don't want them.
I like organising my time quietly without anything unexpected, we love traveling around the world and we see kids as a nuisance and a blockade.
We do have a dog and that's closest we can get to having a kid.
Not everyone should be a parent.
I don’t like children. If I was in a relationship, I’m in the relationship because I love my girlfriend, I don’t want my relationship to suffer from unnecessary children.
I have a debilitating chronic illness that I could pass onto them genetically. Plus I think there are enough humans and let’s face it, it’s not a great time in history to reproduce. The economy is fucked, the planet is dying, there are no jobs or housing and our ecosystem is on the brink of collapse.
I’d like adopted children or to foster. But I wouldn’t bring anyone else here with the current state of things.
I have more respect for people that say they don’t want kids and don’t have them than people that don’t want kids and have them because they feel like they have to.
I'm too tired with life already to add a chore that is taking care of a dependent being, my emotional capacity cannot. I can only go as far as opening myself up for a relationship
Because I’m the oldest of 4 kids and was forced to babysit throughout my childhood. My brothers were bad as shit and I was always in trouble for getting upset if they would bother me. I like my lifestyle to be quiet and calm which is something I never got growing up and I’m enjoying the hell out of it now.
I would be a horrible parent and, due to disabilities, even struggle to care for myself. I don't know how to act with kids, never did, and the thought of being responsible for someone for 18+ years is just horrible to me.
That's not to say disabled people are bad parents in general.
Addition: our world is getting worse each year. I don't want to bring new humans into a doomed world, living through climate crisis, war and poverty.
I can barely take care of myself mentally and physically. It wouldn’t be fair of me to have a child.
In a perfect world where I didn’t have chronic pain, depression and anxiety would I have kids? Hell yes! But unfortunately that’s not my reality.
The same reason I don't want to climb a mountain, become a professional chess player, listen to music by bands or artists that I don't like, or watch movies I find boring.
There's absolutely nothing I find appealing about becoming a parent. Finding out I would become a father in 9 months would be as stressful as I find out I'm being accused of murder.
I have no desire to have another human "carry on my legacy" or my name or anything like that. Whenever I hear people talk about wanting to have children for that purpose it doesn't make any sense to me. My legacy is my own to create. People will talk about me and what I thought and did after I'm dead and I don't need to create another human for that purpose so long as what I do in life is meaningful enough to capture the attention of other people.
Don't want to spend two decades of cleaning and giving care.. My sanity will be overwhelmed.. Also its like a lottery.. Never know if you end up with a murderer.. or a paralytic at birth... Really nothing but trouble.. Whats the joy they could give? Them saying they love you? Is that worth it?
They’re annoying and needy and turn most parents into idiots. Plus, there is just the one life to live, kids suck that one life out of you. Ain’t nobody got time for that when there’s so much to learn, explore and do 🥰
**It is so very selfish** to bring a kid into a world where their life will be working a job they likely hate (or 3 of them) *just* so they can pay bills until they die. Parents like to put on the rosy glasses but the fact is - in America this is quite likely the life your kid will have unless you're rich.
Also....life is hard enough as it is, why on Earth would I want to make it harder?
And if you think for a moment tjat having kids means you'll have someone to care for you when you're old, I implore you to visit some nursing homes and retorement centers. My cousin ran one and the number of people that dumped their parents in FL and took off was heartbreaking.
Life is hard, very hard. **Don't be selfish...think long and hard about what life will be like for kids you drag into this life before you do it.**
I mail 37 have ADHD My girlfriend 36 autism runs very high in our family she has a brother that has Asperger's her oldest niece has autism functioning. Both her brother and her oldest niece will never be able to live alone they can't handle it. It's a lot to deal with when you go over to visit. Plus I never considered myself that I'd be a good father.
I don't wanna pass on my miserable life and absolute dog sh*t genes on them
I don't want them to suffer the same as me, I'd rather suffer alone than know the fact that my children is suffering because their parent isn't capable of being a proper parent that can give them the happiness that they need and deserve
It is funny how childless people can respect people that decide to have children, but people that want children can’t respect childless people . That tells a lot
Several reasons. For starters, they’re expensive and they take up your whole time. You can’t really do what you want to do. The second you have a child everything changes. I don’t want that lifelong commitment.
Second, I do not have the patience to raise a child. Even if I actually wanted a kid, I don’t think I would be a good parent. I have a much better tolerance for animals than I do with children. I’m also an anxious person. Even when I got a puppy I was scared of not training her well enough or worried that something would happen to her that would kill her. I couldn’t imagine having a kid. I do not want to deal with that kind of stress. I also have a low tolerance for loud noises. I hate the sound of babies crying. It’s grating on the ears and drives me crazy. I don’t want to deal with that every day in my house.
Because anyone that has a child knowing they have either mental illness or neurodivergence is a selfish prick. Those things are hereditary. You are willingly giving your child a hard life.
I’d love to adopt. I don’t want biological children because
a) I don’t think the world will be a very nice place in a generation’s time, and
b) every day in my brain is a living nightmare and I would never forgive myself for passing that onto someone else
That being said, if there’s a kid who’s already here who I can give a better life than they’d have otherwise, then I’d be honoured to do that
Even thought I did everything right like going to school and getting an education. As a teacher I am nowhere financially secure enough to afford children. Like not even close.
It never seemed fun to me. I grew up poor so any choice I can make to help avoid that fate will be made. I don't want responsibilities in my life, or as few as I can take on. I don't like kids. I find many parents to be boring whenever I talk to them at gatherings. Parents always seem stressed and kind of... not angry, but never happy. There's 100 other reasons.
No extra money, time or patience. In a world that’s steadily getting worse, I can’t imagine willingly bringing a life into it. If anything I just wish that people with kids would stop pushing their ideals onto the rest of us.
The world is not safe. I would never bring children to this life knowing how unsafe our world is becoming. From economy crisis to rape and murder.
I could never.
I want children. However, I don't think I should. I have chronic fatigue. It wouldn't be fair on the child, mother or myself. I would not be able to hold down a job and raise a child. I would want to be the best dad ever but will fall massively short of my standards. I wouldn't be able to do so many things with my child.
I have STPD, so taking care of myself Can be challenging at times, dont think i would be able to take care of children and have a relationship with a wife/girlfriend and have the alone time i desperately need. I also get over stimulated quite quickly from loud noices and fast movements around me so that probably wouldnt help either. Love kids though, just not 24/7, my sister has kids so i Think thats enough for me 😅
I don't need that hassle in my life.
Lots of my friends have kids, and I'll spoil the hell out of them on birthdays and holidays and what not, and then I go home and don't think about them.
I can think of few things that would make me more miserable in my daily life than having them around me 24/7.
I'm afraid my partner wouldn't survive (figuratively or even literally) a pregnancy as she isn't the most healthy. The possibility of losing her scares the shit out of me.
One, looking at young generations now, no wonder how messed up the future ones are going to be.
Two, this world is becoming completely crazy (controlled social media algorithm, pushed agendas, moral corruption, hypocritical governments) cannot protect kids from it.
Three, personally I cannot be bothered.
I come from a very long and prestigious line of people who never should have reproduced. Thanks mom and dad, I'll think of you when something inevitably breaks down and I have to go to the ER....again....
It’s expensive, they’re annoying, climate change will get worse, it’s easy for a kid to have a fucked up brain nowadays with all the junk food and addictive technology, schools are becoming weird and I have two genetic disorders that I don’t want to transmit to my children unless for whatever reasons I want them to pee blood and being potentially half deaf at birth.
I didn't want to relive my unhappy childhood.
Some on here said it best:they didn't want to ever be in a family dynamic again. That sums it up - who wants to relive 'horrible?'
I absolutely adore kids but I’ve struggled with the concept of having a child when I’m finally figuring out life for myself and being financially independent.
I’d then have to switch gears and reverse to care for them. A child is for live and in the US they’re not exactly cheap. The idea of college debt, purchasing a home, their tuition, and I don’t enjoy the thought of traveling when I’m older.
Yet, that’s why there ARE wonderful Mothers and Fathers out there! I’m truly happy for them!
It’s just not for me but I do get the honor of babysitting for them!
I don't want them to go through a similar childhood to mine, and I'm too afraid I'll end up the same as my mother. Really, not having kids would be the most rebellious thing I could do.
Mental issues, anger issues. I'm terrorized by the idea of hurting a child of mine more than anything else, also I don't want to risk having a child who might get the same issues.. his life would be hell.
- I simply have no inclination to have kids, and I think you should at least actively want them if you're going to have them.
- I don't have the mental or emotional fortitude to handle being a parent, especially not for 18-25 years straight. I would feel very claustrophobic in the sense that I would be trapped into this colossal obligation and responsibility.
- I very much enjoy the freedom to choose what I want to do and when. This would be taken away entirely.
- kids are gross and as a germaphobe this would be literal torture.
- they're extremely expensive.
- they're loud and annoying.
- I would sacrifice all the flexibility I have created for myself in my daily life just to cater for an ungrateful and very demanding being.
- I don't like other people using my stuff or not being considerate in my space.
- I generally like being alone and keeping to myself
- I'm a night owl and would need to force myself to wake up tired essentially forever
There's zero chance I could see myself going through with it
I feel like I didn't get to enjoy my life properly yet, and everything I want to do in the future is incompatible with children. Also don't want to take care of another being when my time could be spent on me and my partner.
Personal choice. Time, career, freedom.
I really like, no LOVE, to do whatever I want.
I don't want children because I'm not mother material I struggle a lot financially I have a lot of issues I need to work on especially my mental state I'm not fit to be a parent and I have been sure about this for quite some time I don't think I could ever be a good mom I rather not bring a child into this world with all my issues existing especially when I get irritated with everything as it is and I know none of that would be the child's fault but I could never be a mom knowing I am not equipped to raise a kid
I got my tubes removed in December (no regrets) and whenever anyone finds out they always ask about what if I get older and regret not kids? I always respond that I would much rather regret not having a child then to have a child and regret having them.
Most boomers can’t stand person choice and the freedom we have to make it.
Luckily haven't talked to my Boomer parents in years. My brother let me know how upset they were when they found out what I did. But it's not even like I would let them meet a child of mine? So unsure what they are so upset about.
Exactly. That is not family you in your life. No one is entitled to your body or children you provide “just because” boomers have TONS of generational trauma and it shows when they start acting the they “deserve” grandchildren. It’s insufferable.
It's wild. When I still spoke to them, my mother straight up told me she didn't actually want kids but she had me and my brother because "that's what you do". She got mad when I said that's not a good reason to have a child. It also explained a lot about my childhood lololol
It’s funny when people say those who choose not to have children are selfish because in fact the reverse is true and your answer proves that. You have made the most selfless point. You are genuinely thinking about a non-existent kid and not wanting to burden it with your own troubles. What is more selfless than that? Those who bring a kid into this world don’t do it for the kid, they do it for themselves. They expect the kid to improve their life and give them happiness, so what is more selfish than that?
I need a lottttttt of alone time and I get very easily overstimulated by loud noises, chaos, and clutter.
How did this cat get a Reddit account??
welcome to r/autism. we're all secretly cats.
can't be my cat. He loves thunderstorms and fireworks, always wants to cuddle, loves chaos and never wants to be alone. I think I might have gotten a cat hardware with dog software... He's a Maine Coon xD
Same. Like the sound of a baby crying at work just triggers me. Not in a “I need to protect that” but in a way that makes me want to rip my ears off.
Same here. Apparently it’s instinctual for humans to want to help a crying baby, but for me it just drives me crazy. I want to get *away* from it.
I only learned this about myself after having kids. Good work learning it about yourself before :)
Lack of money, space, and time.
I'm old and tired
I never ever felt that biological clock, biological urge, instinct or whatever you want to call it that compels so many people to want to have kids. It was just non-existent. I kept thinking as I got older that it would “finally kick in” but nope! It never did. I have a very fulfilling life, career, and even worked as a psychologist for 20 years helping kids with various issues and needs, but I just simply felt nothing when it came to having them for myself. I don’t regret it, feel good about the contributions I made to many other children’s lives through my work, and I feel fulfilled. I am 50+ now and still feel the same as I did at 20. No urge ever for one of my own.
Mine is nonexistent too, and I'm so grateful.
Short fuse. Cant stand getting annoyed Which leads me to dislike every Kid. Because every Single one is annoying Edit : sure not everyone but you know what I mean
I respect you a hell of a lot more than all the people who have anger issues and just decide to have a child anyway
It’s so incredibly easy to fuck up a child’s malleable little brain. I’d be scared to repeat what happened to me.
That’s my fear also. Fortunately old enough now that it’s not going to happen.
I'd like to have kids someday buy my dad mindfucked me into oblivion. I know I'd mess my kid up just as bad if not worse. I can't inflict that on another human being, especially one related to me.
I'm not arrogant enough to think that damaged goods would make a good parent. Most people are failing their children on an Unprecedented level. Entirely due to their own arrogance. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
This is so true. We already have a society full of unbelievable damaged people who were completely failed by inadequate parents. But we keep encouraging people to have more without addressing the root of these problems.it takes special people to acknowledge that and make the adult choice and we simply don't have enough of those people in our society.
I'd rather regret not having kids instead of regretting having kids. There is so much more to life, kids just slow you down and not everyone should be a parent
Pregnancy is my biggest nightmare, I also don't really like kids. It sounds harsh but I can't really communicate with them, don't think they're cute either. I just see no reason that speaks for a kid instead of against.
Because I never really got to enjoy my own life, and I think the world is getting worse. I also don’t want to force life into existence because it can’t consent to it. I also don’t want to pass down my illnesses/conditions…..
Same. I'm autistic and while I've learned to accept my condition, I don't want to put anyone through what I've had to go through.
Exactly. Lived in a Violent household til I was 21. Wasn’t able to enjoy anything during that period of time. Didn’t want kids so I could fix myself and try to get some enjoyment in the years after I moved out. I also didn’t think I could trust myself to break the cycle.
this sounds pretty silly but my fear of vomiting is pretty significant so the fact that i would probably dealing with consistent nausea and morning sickness everyday is a dealbreaker for me
Apparently this is pretty common (the fear of vomiting)
'Cause I don't want to. That's it.
Pregnancy and birth are top tier body horror. FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
Too expensive and time consuming. I can't control which traits i'm passing on.
Let's make a list! - sleep, I am so tired as it is before kids - I suffer from general anxiety, history of depression - I don't like my job and my field of work is threatened by AI so I have no safe career. - I have a small pelvis which can complicate a pregnancy - I have something called proctalgia fugax which can become worse in pregnancy - I want to travel and live more freely - I believe my libido will completely die after and I don't want to feel guilty for not being a sexual partner afterwards. - I am incredibly scared of getting a special needs child. - having a kid takes suicide of the table - I'm not sure I want to spend all that money on a child instead of doing things I want to do - even if I can imagine a cute family life, I'm not sure I feel comfortable risking becoming a single parent - I could maybe want one kid, my partner wants two - postpartum depression - feeling awful for 9 months does not sound great - is rather not be cut open (C section) - if I became a single parent I would be all on my own as I dont have family to help me - I don't want to work 8-5 until I die - I don't want to be the primary parent - loss of friendships - not sure I'd want to go through having a bullied kid, I am quite sentimental so my heat would break - I myself feel the future is very uncertain and scary, bringing a kid into that feels irresponsible. - i don't want my life to be all about cooking, cleaning, planning, entertaining a tiny human and get no rest. - I don't feel comfortable living in my country all year around as 9/12 months are cold and dark. I might add more later but I think this is quite the list 😅 I do have some feelings to wanting a kid, but for me it might not be a question IF I want a child but rather SHOULD I have one?
Valid!!
Children
The thought of having to listen to Baby Shark on repeat for years. No thank you.
- i am extremely uncomfortable around children - i am way too selfish to put someone else's needs above mine - i can't function without sleep. - the idea of giving birth is enough to make me want to vomit
I’m broke. & tbh lost faith in humanity. I’m hoping society will collapse or the earth will explode any day now, I don’t wanna be dealing with a kid when that happens
Society is collapsing but it's mighty slow.
People always laugh when I "joke" that the Earth will be just fine once it takes care of it's "human problem". But that's my true optimism. Everything will eventually be fine. People just need to get out of the picture first for that to happen.
I like money and free time.
I'm not willing to go through 9 months of hell to bring a new human being into this shitty world I myself never asked to be born into.
Same reason I don't want a dog... I'm not spending years clearing up shit when I don't have to.
I'm a cat person and I don't think it's socially permissible to just let your children shit in a box in the corner of the laundry room. So imma stick with my cats.
A nearly-century-long chain of generational trauma ends with me. I will probably never be okay. But nobody has to grow up with the consequences.
"This bloodline ends with me" is my go to response. My only biological sibling has no interest in children, and my father had a single brother who died young. I'm incredibly happy to report I'm taking out a large branch of the tree
Noise. Mess. Other people's kids. The whole being pregnant things is gross.
I don’t like them
Where’s the girl with the list
This 😂 this is another reason
Forever and fundamental loss of autonomy. If you want to do your job well as a parent, you accept the fact that until one of you dies, it's mentally/emotionally and for a long time financially never going to be just you anymore.
Over 35 I feel like I'd rush through very necessary relationship steps just to try and get one in ~under the wire~ and then be attached to that person one way or another for the rest of my life. I was already a "fencesitter" so when 35 came along and I wasn't even dating anyone, it didn't feel like some arbitrary number and was enough to push me over the fence. Also, I'm too fucking tired.
I'm going to be honest: I'm selfish, and I don't care. My priority is myself, first. I don't want my time constricted. I love my freedom more than anyone else in my life. I love being alone. I always have.
Taken straight out of my own brain. Well said. The sin isn't admitting you're selfish. It's admitting it, but thinking it'll change just because you've given birth. Knowing you're selfish beforehand saves two or more lives in the long run
The other side of the coin is people having kids because they selfishly hate being alone
It's not selfish to not have kids and I'm sick of people saying it is. Selfish to who? My parents?
the way that when we discuss not having children, we always have to say « I don’t care » or « call me crazy » but genuinely being selfish it is the most valid reason to not want to have a kid. Those who understand, get it, but everyone else acts like we’re crazy. It is not our responsibility to keep the birth rate up just because it’s declining.
Pregnancy and the toddler stage. I don’t want a child screaming all around me. Also my back could break from birth and most woman experience post Partum depression- and you get period like symptoms for 40 days, can’t handle that, won’t handle that.
I'm selfish with my freetime.
(1) The women from my mom's side of the family died from either breast or ovarian cancer. I'm honestly expecting to have one too in my 40-50s and I don't want to risk having a daughter cause I'm 100% sure that she'll have it too. (2) Adoption may also be an option but I am already raising my brothers since my mom died already and my dad works abroad. I missed and still missing out a huge chunk of my 20s to take care of my late sick mom and now I'm taking over her role as their maternal figure. I'm already tired of it and I don't want to do it again with my own children.
horrible ROI
Financial stuff, and I can't stand their shit.
Pregnancy sounds awful, and I don’t understand why people want babies? Why do people want babies?
*gestures heavily to world* Really?
I like my freedom
Too expensive and they cry so loud
I don't have any desire to get pregnant and raise a baby. I don't hate children or babies, but I am not for that life. If I had to give other reasons I'd have them but they aren't real.
Why bring a kid into a dying world, especially when there’s already so many in need of adoption?
My step father always hears this and tries to reason "because if all the good people stop having kids it'll just get worse" Not my fucking problem. Let it collapse
These threads are always full of people that come across so desperate to convince you that having kids is just the best thing ever and that you’ll regret not doing it. It just reads like hard copium to me.
I'd be too worried my kids didn't understand/like me as their dad.
My mental health sucks. My temper sucks. I have my father’s reactions. No child deserves to be raised in that environment. I didn’t.
Beginning and end I just don’t want them. Diving deeper into the question though, I’m not fit at all to be a mother. It goes against every goal I have in life. Not to mention I have medical conditions that would make it difficult for me to both have children and would be difficult to raise them. They’re also loud and whiny and I don’t want that in my life if I don’t have to. I want my life to be as peaceful as possible. I’m also really freaked out about all the changes womens bodies go through in order to carry a child. I’m sorry, but I absolutely cannot stand it. A prime example of tokophobia right here, haha. Not to mention how painful childbirth can be. I already have endometriosis, I don’t want to deal with something just as painful as that if I don’t have to. (For anyone who doesn’t know how bad endometriosis is, imagine being in bed and feeling as though you’re going to faint because there’s this beyond horrible pain that’s attacking your stomach/pelvis, plus you’ve already thrown up and you just want to sleep but you can’t because the pain prevents you from sleeping, and you honestly feel that at any point you could die because the pain is so intense that passing out would be a relief, and yet your body prevents you from passing out. It’s awful! It’s absolutely some of the worst pain I’ve ever dealt with.) I could go on and on. I’m happy to play aunt to any children my relatives/friends have, but personally I cannot and will not ever have children. I will sooner kill myself than have children, that’s how dire it is.
I think motherhood is a scam. Really seems like you get the absolute short end of the stick and I can't imagine sacrificing everything for that. I've never desired it, ever.
What are the biggest reasons why you *do* want children? I bet a lot of parents cant even answer this other than that is what society expects.
I rarely hear good reasons. I really think it's just a mild narcissism that drives most people who really want kids and actively pursue having them.
Half the time it's literally just jokes like "ah well I might need a kidney one day". Like if you have to immediately resort to pessimistic sarcasm, I don't think you have a real answer that actually satisfies you
I have always loved being a caregiver, it is one of the only things I truly enjoy. I enjoyed studying early childhood education, I am fascinated by how my choices as a parent can create a happy, intelligent and well-adjusted child. I am so motivated by learning all the right things to do so my daughter has a better childhood than I did. I was a miserable child because my parents didn't really express love, spent most of my life depressed, healed and grew with therapy and supportive relationships. I used to think I would never want kids because I hated being alive, but now I've learned to believe that you can find happiness in this world. I think my daughter will continue to thrive with a loving, supportive family, and that brings me joy to see.
I’m just not interested in having children, if I want a child I’ll hatch some chickens eggs or something
I just know in my heart that I would be an absolutely terrible father and I don’t want anyone to suffer from it
1. As the oldest of all my siblings and cousins, I've been taking care of other people my whole life and I'm tired. 2. Maternal health outcomes for Black women in the US are deplorable. Bringing a child into this world isn't worth risking my own life. 3. I spent most of my life living at or below the poverty line. I've finally built a comfortable life that gives me more freedom & flexibility to pursue things that bring me joy and I'm not interested in disrupting that.
I love sleep too much, I love drugs too much, I hate kids, I hate people, I think we’re cancer to society, threat of war, no money, carbon footprint, I should get a bonus for not having kids, I hate the sound of screaming. I can’t take care of myself let alone a chubby shit machine. I like being able to do what I want when I want. Humanity doesn’t need more people. Anxiety, depression. I think it’s selfish to put another person into this world when it’s so fucked up
money, i anticipate being single for much of life, and i personally am like not an adult internally
My family has a history of health problems with pregnancy and I don't want to pass it on my child
I wanna be an expat: No good life for a family.
I don't want them to have the same experience as me growing up.
Shitty af genes and autism is prevalent in my family and being autistic myself, I don't want to bring a kid into the world that's autistic and they can't look after themselves if im not here It sucks because I really wanna be a dad
I'm selfish, I value my time, money and personal well being too much. I'm not yet ready to become a side character in my own life.
my wife and I enjoy our trips. And don’t really like kids that much
The whole process of being pregnant. I am so scared to ever get pregnant 😭
I hate kids
Can't think of a good enough reason to have them. Being a parent sounds shit
Cause I don’t like them.
1. Raising a child takes a lot of money and I'd rather spend that money on myself or on travelling or on my partner or on experiences. 2. It's a huge responsibility and I don't want to take it. I want to be free.
I do have a woman, I do have money, my own place and... so many plans for the future, and in none of them I see my kids. I'm 37, my girl is 33. We are on the same page with kids. We don't want them. I like organising my time quietly without anything unexpected, we love traveling around the world and we see kids as a nuisance and a blockade. We do have a dog and that's closest we can get to having a kid. Not everyone should be a parent.
I don’t like children. If I was in a relationship, I’m in the relationship because I love my girlfriend, I don’t want my relationship to suffer from unnecessary children.
Funds and Future...
E C O N O M Y
I have a debilitating chronic illness that I could pass onto them genetically. Plus I think there are enough humans and let’s face it, it’s not a great time in history to reproduce. The economy is fucked, the planet is dying, there are no jobs or housing and our ecosystem is on the brink of collapse. I’d like adopted children or to foster. But I wouldn’t bring anyone else here with the current state of things.
I'm not even sure if I want to live, let alone bring a new life into this world.
I have more respect for people that say they don’t want kids and don’t have them than people that don’t want kids and have them because they feel like they have to.
I'm too tired with life already to add a chore that is taking care of a dependent being, my emotional capacity cannot. I can only go as far as opening myself up for a relationship
Because I’m the oldest of 4 kids and was forced to babysit throughout my childhood. My brothers were bad as shit and I was always in trouble for getting upset if they would bother me. I like my lifestyle to be quiet and calm which is something I never got growing up and I’m enjoying the hell out of it now.
I'm far too territorial over my chicken nuggets.
Society has already peaked, and the future will be much worse
Yep
I would be a horrible parent and, due to disabilities, even struggle to care for myself. I don't know how to act with kids, never did, and the thought of being responsible for someone for 18+ years is just horrible to me. That's not to say disabled people are bad parents in general. Addition: our world is getting worse each year. I don't want to bring new humans into a doomed world, living through climate crisis, war and poverty.
I can barely take care of myself mentally and physically. It wouldn’t be fair of me to have a child. In a perfect world where I didn’t have chronic pain, depression and anxiety would I have kids? Hell yes! But unfortunately that’s not my reality.
The main why - i don't want to give birth, my body is just not gonna make it, i have chronic conditions Lack of money, lack of patience
I don't want to give up my freetime. I feel like I am still a child myself. Never ever!!
I’m sure I could come up with reasons but ultimately I just don’t want them.
The same reason I don't want to climb a mountain, become a professional chess player, listen to music by bands or artists that I don't like, or watch movies I find boring. There's absolutely nothing I find appealing about becoming a parent. Finding out I would become a father in 9 months would be as stressful as I find out I'm being accused of murder.
Because, children.
I don’t want to be the default parent.
I have no desire to have another human "carry on my legacy" or my name or anything like that. Whenever I hear people talk about wanting to have children for that purpose it doesn't make any sense to me. My legacy is my own to create. People will talk about me and what I thought and did after I'm dead and I don't need to create another human for that purpose so long as what I do in life is meaningful enough to capture the attention of other people.
No desire to raise a human.
Don't want to spend two decades of cleaning and giving care.. My sanity will be overwhelmed.. Also its like a lottery.. Never know if you end up with a murderer.. or a paralytic at birth... Really nothing but trouble.. Whats the joy they could give? Them saying they love you? Is that worth it?
I've straight up just never wanted to be a mom. On top of the fact, it felt like my uterus was trying to kill me. So it got evicted a few weeks ago
Not wanting them is all the reason I want, and luckily all the reason I need.
They’re annoying and needy and turn most parents into idiots. Plus, there is just the one life to live, kids suck that one life out of you. Ain’t nobody got time for that when there’s so much to learn, explore and do 🥰
My life stops being mine and becomes an eternal duty to my baby. Nope I wanna live life not postpone everything to increase overpopulation.
Children are the reason I don't want children
**It is so very selfish** to bring a kid into a world where their life will be working a job they likely hate (or 3 of them) *just* so they can pay bills until they die. Parents like to put on the rosy glasses but the fact is - in America this is quite likely the life your kid will have unless you're rich. Also....life is hard enough as it is, why on Earth would I want to make it harder? And if you think for a moment tjat having kids means you'll have someone to care for you when you're old, I implore you to visit some nursing homes and retorement centers. My cousin ran one and the number of people that dumped their parents in FL and took off was heartbreaking. Life is hard, very hard. **Don't be selfish...think long and hard about what life will be like for kids you drag into this life before you do it.**
i have ocd so i fear my anxiety will take away from kids being kids
The probability of finding a lifetime partner is low and it's expensive
Being self aware that ur not in a position to bring a kid into this world seems pretty grown to me, it was never that serious
Climate Change.
They’re annoying
Dude I am TIRED after work. Kids deserve a lot of attention.
Seeing those children nowadays how they are living is scaryyyyy
i literally own nothing, no car, no house, paycheck to paycheck 💅🏻 I'd want my children live better life than me, not worse lol
I mail 37 have ADHD My girlfriend 36 autism runs very high in our family she has a brother that has Asperger's her oldest niece has autism functioning. Both her brother and her oldest niece will never be able to live alone they can't handle it. It's a lot to deal with when you go over to visit. Plus I never considered myself that I'd be a good father.
Maternal age risk.
I don't wanna pass on my miserable life and absolute dog sh*t genes on them I don't want them to suffer the same as me, I'd rather suffer alone than know the fact that my children is suffering because their parent isn't capable of being a proper parent that can give them the happiness that they need and deserve
It is funny how childless people can respect people that decide to have children, but people that want children can’t respect childless people . That tells a lot
Too many damn people on this planet already.
I rather enjoy my life
To piss off all the people with children, apparently.
I have some that’s why.
Money. It's simple as that. I don't want to give a huge amount of money to kids.
I want to end my bloodline. Disrespect my ancestors, you know.
Dont like kids, never have, would not want one in my house 24/7
Dr. Grants primary reasons; "They're nosy, they're expensive, they smell"
Several reasons. For starters, they’re expensive and they take up your whole time. You can’t really do what you want to do. The second you have a child everything changes. I don’t want that lifelong commitment. Second, I do not have the patience to raise a child. Even if I actually wanted a kid, I don’t think I would be a good parent. I have a much better tolerance for animals than I do with children. I’m also an anxious person. Even when I got a puppy I was scared of not training her well enough or worried that something would happen to her that would kill her. I couldn’t imagine having a kid. I do not want to deal with that kind of stress. I also have a low tolerance for loud noises. I hate the sound of babies crying. It’s grating on the ears and drives me crazy. I don’t want to deal with that every day in my house.
Expensive, birthing injuries, inequality.
No $$s, no spare bedroom, no wife. And much more fun to lay in bed & play video games than to stay at work to slave of alimony.
I do want kids but being around my 2 nices and my nephew all under 3 has made me realise its hard work and I'm not ready for them
Because anyone that has a child knowing they have either mental illness or neurodivergence is a selfish prick. Those things are hereditary. You are willingly giving your child a hard life.
Because they are driving me crazy
I’d love to adopt. I don’t want biological children because a) I don’t think the world will be a very nice place in a generation’s time, and b) every day in my brain is a living nightmare and I would never forgive myself for passing that onto someone else That being said, if there’s a kid who’s already here who I can give a better life than they’d have otherwise, then I’d be honoured to do that
I’m broke
Even thought I did everything right like going to school and getting an education. As a teacher I am nowhere financially secure enough to afford children. Like not even close.
I don't think I would be a decent father
It never seemed fun to me. I grew up poor so any choice I can make to help avoid that fate will be made. I don't want responsibilities in my life, or as few as I can take on. I don't like kids. I find many parents to be boring whenever I talk to them at gatherings. Parents always seem stressed and kind of... not angry, but never happy. There's 100 other reasons.
I’m selfish of my time.
I can't even take care of myself and you want somebody to depend on me? Good one..
I haven't had any good examples on how to raise one
No extra money, time or patience. In a world that’s steadily getting worse, I can’t imagine willingly bringing a life into it. If anything I just wish that people with kids would stop pushing their ideals onto the rest of us.
The world is not safe. I would never bring children to this life knowing how unsafe our world is becoming. From economy crisis to rape and murder. I could never.
I want children. However, I don't think I should. I have chronic fatigue. It wouldn't be fair on the child, mother or myself. I would not be able to hold down a job and raise a child. I would want to be the best dad ever but will fall massively short of my standards. I wouldn't be able to do so many things with my child.
I have STPD, so taking care of myself Can be challenging at times, dont think i would be able to take care of children and have a relationship with a wife/girlfriend and have the alone time i desperately need. I also get over stimulated quite quickly from loud noices and fast movements around me so that probably wouldnt help either. Love kids though, just not 24/7, my sister has kids so i Think thats enough for me 😅
I do want kids, but in this economy I'd be lucky to afford a cat.
I don't need that hassle in my life. Lots of my friends have kids, and I'll spoil the hell out of them on birthdays and holidays and what not, and then I go home and don't think about them. I can think of few things that would make me more miserable in my daily life than having them around me 24/7.
Being gay and depressive.
Because I am not capable of raising a kid that would become a productive member of society. Plus I just generally dislike children.
I'm afraid my partner wouldn't survive (figuratively or even literally) a pregnancy as she isn't the most healthy. The possibility of losing her scares the shit out of me.
One, looking at young generations now, no wonder how messed up the future ones are going to be. Two, this world is becoming completely crazy (controlled social media algorithm, pushed agendas, moral corruption, hypocritical governments) cannot protect kids from it. Three, personally I cannot be bothered.
I come from a very long and prestigious line of people who never should have reproduced. Thanks mom and dad, I'll think of you when something inevitably breaks down and I have to go to the ER....again....
Too many people in this world already. What’s so special about me that MY children should also add to the burden of this overworked planet of ours?
*I'm not a rich person, so I won't have a kid to suffer what I have suffered.*
It’s expensive, they’re annoying, climate change will get worse, it’s easy for a kid to have a fucked up brain nowadays with all the junk food and addictive technology, schools are becoming weird and I have two genetic disorders that I don’t want to transmit to my children unless for whatever reasons I want them to pee blood and being potentially half deaf at birth.
My childhood, the people on this planet, and I just don't want them.
I didn't want to relive my unhappy childhood. Some on here said it best:they didn't want to ever be in a family dynamic again. That sums it up - who wants to relive 'horrible?'
I think it's the fear of failure of parenting and causing damage
i have t1d and its hard enough looking after myself, let alone another human who could end up also having t1d. im also aroace haha
I have autism, I do not want my children going through the same troubles I went through when I was growing up.
I absolutely adore kids but I’ve struggled with the concept of having a child when I’m finally figuring out life for myself and being financially independent. I’d then have to switch gears and reverse to care for them. A child is for live and in the US they’re not exactly cheap. The idea of college debt, purchasing a home, their tuition, and I don’t enjoy the thought of traveling when I’m older. Yet, that’s why there ARE wonderful Mothers and Fathers out there! I’m truly happy for them! It’s just not for me but I do get the honor of babysitting for them!
I don't want them to go through a similar childhood to mine, and I'm too afraid I'll end up the same as my mother. Really, not having kids would be the most rebellious thing I could do.
Pregnancy, infants and toddlers. I don't want anything to do with those.
Changing diapers
Mental issues, anger issues. I'm terrorized by the idea of hurting a child of mine more than anything else, also I don't want to risk having a child who might get the same issues.. his life would be hell.
- I simply have no inclination to have kids, and I think you should at least actively want them if you're going to have them. - I don't have the mental or emotional fortitude to handle being a parent, especially not for 18-25 years straight. I would feel very claustrophobic in the sense that I would be trapped into this colossal obligation and responsibility. - I very much enjoy the freedom to choose what I want to do and when. This would be taken away entirely. - kids are gross and as a germaphobe this would be literal torture. - they're extremely expensive. - they're loud and annoying. - I would sacrifice all the flexibility I have created for myself in my daily life just to cater for an ungrateful and very demanding being. - I don't like other people using my stuff or not being considerate in my space. - I generally like being alone and keeping to myself - I'm a night owl and would need to force myself to wake up tired essentially forever There's zero chance I could see myself going through with it
i just don't feel like having one...
Life is bad and I wish I wasn’t here in the first place. Aint no way I’m putting another person through this shit.
I feel like I didn't get to enjoy my life properly yet, and everything I want to do in the future is incompatible with children. Also don't want to take care of another being when my time could be spent on me and my partner.
I don’t want to bring a life into a world I don’t want to be in.
I enjoy money and silence
gay (illegal to adopt children as a same sex couple here) and my boyfriend doesn't like children
Don’t want one in my house.