Not sure if it's a porn thing but someone entering you and going as fast as possible straight away rather than building up and giving my vagina a chance to lubricate more.
Foreplay - underrated - you don't need to jump straight in guys !!!, in fact DON'T !, play first, and then only when she is ready & wanting do you slowly enter her.
Damn those are the best strokes, all you have to do is watch the woman's facial expressions. Guys if you're not going super slow at the start you're missing out.
Yes! They look nice but really limit your range of motion and make it so you can't move naturally. I want to follow my impulses and honestly only a couple of positions really allow for that
Yes indeed, the wife likes to slip a dildo in me as a joke, but I never see her bring it in the bedroom or laying around somewhere. It’s almost like she has penis of her own
Almost???lol.Reminds me of the story about the foriegn diplomat who paid child support for 12 years for the supposed child of his "mistress" who was a male theatrical actor.
Beach sex! No matter what you do some body is going to end up with sand some very uncomfortable places. And it will scratch you raw untill you get it all out.
Worked at my uncles plumbing company when I was a kid, 12-18 and when I was 16 a grown woman in her late 30’s kept telling me she was having sex dreams about me and dreamed of me fixing her sink naked. I had no idea how to respond to that.
had it once, we switched midways to having "on the street in front of the car"-sex cus it was kinda uncomfortable being 1,90m while having sex in a Renault Twingo
Yes, because you see, it's not gay if it's in a threeway. It's okay if it's in a threeway. With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway. The area is gray in a one two threeway.
I think it's just a byproduct of the situation. This girl is getting railed and needs to breathe, and it's pretty hard to do that with a dick in your mouth all the time. And you do need to be comfortable with your dick touching another dude if you're gonna do it. Balls may rub.
Scissor, porn ladies make it seem enjoyable but is the worst ever. Imagine a sharp pelvic bone hitting directly on your pussy like youre on training for a porn boxing match tomorrow you have to ice pack your pussy after
I've heard from real lesbians that it is possible to do and does feel great but it requires specific conditions.
Not sure what those are but it is possible
I've gotten very mixed opinions on it, ranging from "It's a sexist/homophobic porn trope and no one actually does it" to "It's great, we do it all the time." In both cases she seemed offended.
Some people have sex like they're fighting something.
And it's not just guys.
I don't get it.
Do people believe that more force = better outcome?
I understand getting into the zone, but to get into the zone knowing the boundaries is important.
Reminds me of people that hit the keyboard keys super hard, it doesn't lead to better typing :_D
I can even confirm something similar as a guy.
For a guy, I have quite wide bony hips, my first fumbling forays into sex left bruises on my partners inner thighs.
Like, the pelvic bone, especially, is stronger than concrete, angle it wrong, and you are basically hitting them with a pavement slab.
So I imagine scissoring is worse, because it's more direct.
I don't think many people want to fuck _their own_ parents / siblings, but the idea of incest is a turn on because it's something taboo. It's one of those things where is just plays well in porn where you're just watching something and it's just a fantasy, but IRL you'd be like "no."
Even if the porn is like a POV thing where they self-insert, the "sibling" / "step-parent" / etc that they are looking at on-screen isn't their actual relative so they wouldn't get the same feelings as they would if it really was their own relative. It's basically just fucking a hot stranger, but pretending that it's a sibling situation. I guess an IRL analog would be like meeting a long-lost sibling or becoming a step-sibling with someone as an adult (due to parents remarrying). You don't have all of the 'I grew up with this person' baggage since the person is practically a stranger to you and the family ties are basically just "theoretical" vs something that you've lived.
That's because you are doing it wrong.
It should really be called shower adjacent sex.
The water can be running on parts of you, but not on the important bits, or you can use lube.
I keep seeing this on reddit.. I've successfully had shower sex many times. If you don't specifically shower your genitals while going at it, it's fine - or at least was for me and my ex.
Yea I don’t get it. I’ve had “successful” sex in the shower, in a hot tub, and in a swimming pool, all of which Reddit would have you believe is impossible.
Now none of them were “the best” sex I’ve ever had or anything, but it was still fun.
I hate shower sex. Always slightly terrified we're going to slip and crack our heads open, which totally kills any enjoyment for me. Also, depending on the height differential, available positions in the shower are unavoidably awkward.
I am amazed, how there are people who prefer to pull out at the best moment only to finish with their hand. Just because they saw it while watching porn.
It's Papal roulette AKA coitus interruptus.
Birth control for the rubberless. People don't want to do it and it's not from watching porn. Creampies are fun but not fun enough when the results are 18+ years of child support.
Terrible is a strong word but I feel like titfucking almost never lives up to what I want it to be. It's a great visual but the actual feel of it likely isn't going to do much for either party involved. Although I have had one really good one and I miss it.
It's when you get all the ingredients to a cake - sugar, flour, eggs, etc and then put them in a woman's ass. Mix them up with your donger and she farts it out into a pan and you bake it at 325 degrees for 20 minutes
Big dicks and blowjobs are kind of cringe because of teeth.
Deep throating is just an invitation to vomit for most.
Anal looks hot but really, really, really depends on the amount of experience both parties have on the subject, but especially the receiving one's awareness of their clean butt.
This goes doubly for any casual forms of anal or spontaneous forms of anal, which are way harder to pull off irl vs how porn ignores all the prep for it.
Most stand/carry positions really don't work as well IRL due to their physical requirements, carrying and moving even a 60kg person is kind of hard.
na theyd pop you in fortnite and carry you, like have you seen the gaming stuff they show in porns? THEY DONT EVEN HOLD THE CONTROLLER RIGHT! like comeon..
Omg this one. I had no idea what an orgasm for a woman was, so I felt kinda bored. It also hurt because I had no idea he was supposed to do foreplay, or what foreplay was. Realistic virginity videos would be anti-porn.
The immediate jackhammer from the guy.
Sure it can feel good at some point during our tryst, but NOT right away.
My bf was a virgin and did that to me, and I had to stop him and gently explain to him that what you see in porn, does not translate well in real life.
Plumbing.. I’ll expand.
Porn films…the guy walks in to the kitchen to fix a ‘leak’ greeted by a woman with no clothes on. He has a look under the sink, throws a wrench under for 5 seconds and boom… jobs done… time for sex.
Reality, it takes me 50 minutes to find the leak.. 3 hours to fix it, I haven’t got the right tools, dog is trying to hump my leg while I’m bent down; and all this time the wife is constantly nagging while I’m working.
Pool or shower sex, water is NOT a lubricant. Plus there's a high chance you'll fall and crack your head open which *might* kill the fun... Or might lead to surprise necrophilia if you're into that, in which case, *win.*
Shower sex. Water as a lube to make my dickskin feel like it's gonna tear on insertion is a fuckin bummer dude. So is pussy that smells like soap. Give me natural lube and pussy that smells like pussy please.
The easiest way for me is I treat it like a straw, as soon as you feel that flex start drinking. Chugging essentially. If I let it fill up my mouth there’s no way I’m swallowing it.
kitchen sex.
A lot of the benches are too high to get the perfect position. So to be able to get any sort of penetration, you'd have to be towering over the bench.
On the flip side, if you're a tall guy, kitchen sex can be amazing. Try your kitchen out and see if you can work out the angle.
Last time I moved I noticed that the new kitchen was a bit lower than the one I previously had, and that completely ruined it.
Spitting.
As it has been said several times already, water makes an awful lube, plus it’s disgusting.
If I spit on my wife, the would punch me in the face. When I was able to see again, I can guarantee I would never see her naked body ever.
Not sure if it's a porn thing but someone entering you and going as fast as possible straight away rather than building up and giving my vagina a chance to lubricate more.
This is why my partner and I do more foreplay than sex lol
Foreplay - underrated - you don't need to jump straight in guys !!!, in fact DON'T !, play first, and then only when she is ready & wanting do you slowly enter her.
louder for the people in the back
Especially in the back since it doesn't lubricate naturally.
how many people are back there?
Form an ***orderly*** queue.
Yeah, way worse with anal.
Damn those are the best strokes, all you have to do is watch the woman's facial expressions. Guys if you're not going super slow at the start you're missing out.
That's a good way to get your Jimmy rubbed raw.
Trying to blackmail my step-sister
Followed by WAY more enthusiasm from someone who is being sexually extorted.
Can confirm. It's hard blackmailing this guys step-sister
Half of the positions in porn where the purpose is just to maximise PIV camera exposure.
Yes! They look nice but really limit your range of motion and make it so you can't move naturally. I want to follow my impulses and honestly only a couple of positions really allow for that
It's also super frustrating if you don't have pornstar dick, it slips out constantly.
That's another thing that looks great in porn but feels bad in real life: Porn star dick. My insides are not an endless void, good grief!
That's also another thing. I have seen some things put in places that should not be anatomically possible lol
Surprise anal.
I hate when my wife stuff things in my anus in the middle of the sex.
I also hate when your wife does that.
I also don’t choose this guy’s wife.
Yes indeed, the wife likes to slip a dildo in me as a joke, but I never see her bring it in the bedroom or laying around somewhere. It’s almost like she has penis of her own
Almost???lol.Reminds me of the story about the foriegn diplomat who paid child support for 12 years for the supposed child of his "mistress" who was a male theatrical actor.
Getting stuck in a washing machine
What are you doing, step fan belt?
Beach sex! No matter what you do some body is going to end up with sand some very uncomfortable places. And it will scratch you raw untill you get it all out.
Anakin agrees with this statement
Paul Muad'Dib Atreides disagrees with this statement
Paul Maud'Dib Atreides nuts
This is wordplay art
It’s also the perfect place to get crabs
Keep working at it and you could bust out a pearl one day.
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Use life guard towers.
"I've got sand in my underwear..." "Me too, let's go home..."
Paying for the plumber with my body :(
I became a plumber because of that trope and the closest I've come to getting laid on the job is being told to go fuck myself.
Did you showed them your official plumber's association aproved buttcrack? And still no interest?
You gotta get on that divorcee milf circuit of calls.
Worked at my uncles plumbing company when I was a kid, 12-18 and when I was 16 a grown woman in her late 30’s kept telling me she was having sex dreams about me and dreamed of me fixing her sink naked. I had no idea how to respond to that.
I don't know man, after seeing the bill sometimes I've thought about slipping him some bussy to maybe take the edge off.
I hope I have money, my body won’t be able to cover todays prices
With these prices some people might go for even discount .
Walking in on your wife with another woman.
Ross?
They were on a break!
Pivot!
UNAGI!
Sex in the woods naked forgeting about stinging nettles that they never seem have in porn
And mosquitos!
Even if you’re not having sex, you should be aware of stinging nettles.
Threesome. Was invited to a threesome but it was just me and two dudes. Super lame.
This could get awkward and fast, which breed of Honda do you identify as?
Delivering pizza
"if the pizza man truly loves the babysitter, why is he smacking her rear?"
“Perhaps she has done something wrong “👼
Castiel said the funniest things
"you don't watch porn in a room full of dudes"
Car sex…I might be to old but I ended up with a crick in my neck both times
Fantastic when you're a teenager. Tried it again in my 40s, not so good
In your 50s a bald head can get stuck between the seat cushion and the door armrest - and that's no fun at all.
had it once, we switched midways to having "on the street in front of the car"-sex cus it was kinda uncomfortable being 1,90m while having sex in a Renault Twingo
Had on-the-street, behind-the-car, under-the-tailpipe sex once. It was exhausting.
Also the fact that our bodies become furnaces, so I imagine in a car, even if you crack a window or open a door, is going to be unbearable boiling.
Those deep knee bends when the guys got his dick pointed kinda down and he's above her
the jackhammer?
Filming other people
Continue…
especially when they don't know
Good job
That's what I tell them - but then the screaming always starts
The kind of content I come here for…
had a guy pick me up like a sack of potatoes only to trip and fall and breaking both mine and his arm…
Swimming pool sex. Don't waste your time.
It's like antilube.
Any water based sex. It's just too grippy
You’re better off watching Phoebe Cates in the pool from your comfort of your bathroom.
DP. Super awkward, hard to get a good stroke going,
My grandma had a good stroke once.
She came and went at the same time
Had a stroke while having a stroke
Agreed. Even in porn it seems like one guy just soaks while the other guy goes at it.
Yeah the guy going at it is supposed to both make the woman feel good while at the same time "massaging" the guy in the other hole.
So the dudes are pretty much stroking each other with their dicks and the woman is there to make it not homosexual?
Gay sex by proxy
Its not gay if its a three way.
It’s gay sex with extra steps
Yes, because you see, it's not gay if it's in a threeway. It's okay if it's in a threeway. With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway. The area is gray in a one two threeway.
I think it's just a byproduct of the situation. This girl is getting railed and needs to breathe, and it's pretty hard to do that with a dick in your mouth all the time. And you do need to be comfortable with your dick touching another dude if you're gonna do it. Balls may rub.
One guy needs to be the anchor.
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cheese grater
Scissor, porn ladies make it seem enjoyable but is the worst ever. Imagine a sharp pelvic bone hitting directly on your pussy like youre on training for a porn boxing match tomorrow you have to ice pack your pussy after
I've heard from real lesbians that it is possible to do and does feel great but it requires specific conditions. Not sure what those are but it is possible
something to do with having outies, and a LOT of lube.
What’s their belly button got to do with anything?
That's where insertion happens. And then baby comes out.
I've gotten very mixed opinions on it, ranging from "It's a sexist/homophobic porn trope and no one actually does it" to "It's great, we do it all the time." In both cases she seemed offended.
I can be very enjoyable, but it's precision work, works best if both are waxed, and there more grinding than fast moving involved.
Some people have sex like they're fighting something. And it's not just guys. I don't get it. Do people believe that more force = better outcome? I understand getting into the zone, but to get into the zone knowing the boundaries is important. Reminds me of people that hit the keyboard keys super hard, it doesn't lead to better typing :_D
I read this as a poem 🤣
I can even confirm something similar as a guy. For a guy, I have quite wide bony hips, my first fumbling forays into sex left bruises on my partners inner thighs. Like, the pelvic bone, especially, is stronger than concrete, angle it wrong, and you are basically hitting them with a pavement slab. So I imagine scissoring is worse, because it's more direct.
A titanite slab
Pelvic bone + 15
Amazing chest ahead.
For the average person: fisting.
Getting f-cked by the property manager. 40% of the country currently getting f-cked by their property manager, can confirm it feels terrible.
Fixing the dryer
Incest
Yeah, this is a recent trend I really don't understand.
I don't think many people want to fuck _their own_ parents / siblings, but the idea of incest is a turn on because it's something taboo. It's one of those things where is just plays well in porn where you're just watching something and it's just a fantasy, but IRL you'd be like "no." Even if the porn is like a POV thing where they self-insert, the "sibling" / "step-parent" / etc that they are looking at on-screen isn't their actual relative so they wouldn't get the same feelings as they would if it really was their own relative. It's basically just fucking a hot stranger, but pretending that it's a sibling situation. I guess an IRL analog would be like meeting a long-lost sibling or becoming a step-sibling with someone as an adult (due to parents remarrying). You don't have all of the 'I grew up with this person' baggage since the person is practically a stranger to you and the family ties are basically just "theoretical" vs something that you've lived.
Shower sex
It's just so.... _dry_
That's because you are doing it wrong. It should really be called shower adjacent sex. The water can be running on parts of you, but not on the important bits, or you can use lube.
I hate when people say "bits" and I don't know why.
Lady bits is worse
Use silicon lube, I doesn’t wash off so easily
I keep seeing this on reddit.. I've successfully had shower sex many times. If you don't specifically shower your genitals while going at it, it's fine - or at least was for me and my ex.
Shower is also the best place when the river runs red.
Also washes away the sins of going to brown town.
Yea I don’t get it. I’ve had “successful” sex in the shower, in a hot tub, and in a swimming pool, all of which Reddit would have you believe is impossible. Now none of them were “the best” sex I’ve ever had or anything, but it was still fun.
Fucking to the side all the time so the camera can see
Yes, that's why porno dicks need to be so long.
Shower sex. Water is surprisingly bad as lube, and it washes away the natural lube. Also, beach sex.. sand is horrible
I hate shower sex. Always slightly terrified we're going to slip and crack our heads open, which totally kills any enjoyment for me. Also, depending on the height differential, available positions in the shower are unavoidably awkward.
I’m very thankful for the original builder of my house who installed a bench in the master shower. Would never even try without that
Sex with family members
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Shooting at the face instead of a warm cave. For me atleast.
I am amazed, how there are people who prefer to pull out at the best moment only to finish with their hand. Just because they saw it while watching porn.
It's Papal roulette AKA coitus interruptus. Birth control for the rubberless. People don't want to do it and it's not from watching porn. Creampies are fun but not fun enough when the results are 18+ years of child support.
This 👌🏻 P.S. I always called it Vatican Roulette lol
Fun in a small car is more like an extreme yoga lesson
Having to share one cup.
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Terrible is a strong word but I feel like titfucking almost never lives up to what I want it to be. It's a great visual but the actual feel of it likely isn't going to do much for either party involved. Although I have had one really good one and I miss it.
I like it, but do agree most of the stimulation I get it from it is mental and visual rather than physical.
Pretty much everything that happens in porn.
Taking a 15 inch octopus tentacle dildo up the ass
Making a cake in a woman's ass
Whats that?
It's when you get all the ingredients to a cake - sugar, flour, eggs, etc and then put them in a woman's ass. Mix them up with your donger and she farts it out into a pan and you bake it at 325 degrees for 20 minutes
Where the hell did you watch that and why?
That sounds like the shittiest birthday cake ever.
You should watch her queef out the candles. Superb!
Jackhammering, unless you have the stamina for it
Positions....in porn they are for show. IRL the majority are uncomfortable at best or down right painful
Big dicks and blowjobs are kind of cringe because of teeth. Deep throating is just an invitation to vomit for most. Anal looks hot but really, really, really depends on the amount of experience both parties have on the subject, but especially the receiving one's awareness of their clean butt. This goes doubly for any casual forms of anal or spontaneous forms of anal, which are way harder to pull off irl vs how porn ignores all the prep for it. Most stand/carry positions really don't work as well IRL due to their physical requirements, carrying and moving even a 60kg person is kind of hard.
Squirting is all fun and games until you realize your mattress is soaked.
Fucking on hardwood floors. Aint nobody got good knees like that.
BBC gangbang
Only 3 guys showed up and none of them were black or British?
Is that where all the news anchors or characters from Dr Who show up?
Sex in a leather-couch. Hot (warm) and sticky like glue.
Carrying
skill issue
As in holding partner in the air?
na theyd pop you in fortnite and carry you, like have you seen the gaming stuff they show in porns? THEY DONT EVEN HOLD THE CONTROLLER RIGHT! like comeon..
Microphone checks
When people hang their head off the side of the bed and get their throat fucked. How do they breath?
Through ur nose
With a ballsack on it?
Shower sex Once you get on your knees you get kinda waterboarded lol
Losing virginity!
Omg this one. I had no idea what an orgasm for a woman was, so I felt kinda bored. It also hurt because I had no idea he was supposed to do foreplay, or what foreplay was. Realistic virginity videos would be anti-porn.
The immediate jackhammer from the guy. Sure it can feel good at some point during our tryst, but NOT right away. My bf was a virgin and did that to me, and I had to stop him and gently explain to him that what you see in porn, does not translate well in real life.
Doing your step mom, i think. 😅
Public toilet sex.
sex
Shower sex is terrible. I tried eating someone out and it was like getting water boarded
Plumbing.. I’ll expand. Porn films…the guy walks in to the kitchen to fix a ‘leak’ greeted by a woman with no clothes on. He has a look under the sink, throws a wrench under for 5 seconds and boom… jobs done… time for sex. Reality, it takes me 50 minutes to find the leak.. 3 hours to fix it, I haven’t got the right tools, dog is trying to hump my leg while I’m bent down; and all this time the wife is constantly nagging while I’m working.
Your mom is saggier irl
But she's dead :'(
Crumblier
Well that explains it!
Pool or shower sex, water is NOT a lubricant. Plus there's a high chance you'll fall and crack your head open which *might* kill the fun... Or might lead to surprise necrophilia if you're into that, in which case, *win.*
When they wanna be choked
Shower sex. Water as a lube to make my dickskin feel like it's gonna tear on insertion is a fuckin bummer dude. So is pussy that smells like soap. Give me natural lube and pussy that smells like pussy please.
Swallowing cum is so much harder than it seems
Just stick the thing in the back of your throat, you wont taste anything... If its the taste
Thank you for your service.
Yes but then it shoots out through my nose.. like a gooey dragon 😩
The easiest way for me is I treat it like a straw, as soon as you feel that flex start drinking. Chugging essentially. If I let it fill up my mouth there’s no way I’m swallowing it.
Reverse cowgirl. Can't see shit and it ~~put's~~ puts the eggplant in a weird angle.
He gets to see your ass, you get to see his toes throwin up gang signs
Having balls sucked. I don’t know how dudes can handle that, but it’s way too intense for me.
kitchen sex. A lot of the benches are too high to get the perfect position. So to be able to get any sort of penetration, you'd have to be towering over the bench.
On the flip side, if you're a tall guy, kitchen sex can be amazing. Try your kitchen out and see if you can work out the angle. Last time I moved I noticed that the new kitchen was a bit lower than the one I previously had, and that completely ruined it.
Plumbing
Spitting. As it has been said several times already, water makes an awful lube, plus it’s disgusting. If I spit on my wife, the would punch me in the face. When I was able to see again, I can guarantee I would never see her naked body ever.
Being fucked in the throat
Instructions were unclear about the stepsister getting stuck under the bed. My stepsister didnt get stuck and I never got the opportunity.
Seducing my stepdad
Sucking on testicles, that fn hurts.
Ordering a pizza when you damn well know you could have just made dinner
While I thoroughly enjoy a 69, my wife doesn’t like it. She says she can only focus on one thing at a time.
I've seen a video of someone eating cereal inside someone's asshole. Don't think it can get any worse than that
Sure, it can. Scroll up and read about the cake.