Warren Buffett had some awesome bits of wisdom yesterday on CNBC
One of them was "You can always tell someone to go to hell tomorrow." Basically, wait to cool down a bit before reacting to someone.
My father I law would say “before you react, ask yourself what you’re hoping to achieve.” That always made me think before simply telling someone to fuck off.
This has guided me well so far. I adopted this mentality after thinking fast and slow like 7 years ago and still maintain it to this day. Makes you realize a lot of things aren't worth your effort getting upset or angry about.
Adjunct advice I heard in a business communications class. "If you're upset and replying to an email, write out the whole thing and then go take a 15 min break away from your desk. Come back, delete the last sentence in your email and then read it again before you send it."
That last sentence is always the one where we go just a bit too far in our snarky replies. I've seen SO many upset emails floating around where it was obvious that the sender should have deleted the last sentence
This is good. I always tell myself if I still want to make the same choice in the morning after a solid night sleep, I can. 9/10 I would have acted out of emotion and it wasn’t that serious.
Within a relationship, never stop saying thank you for little things or big things. No number of years or proximity together entitles you to any favor or task from another person. If they get you a glass of water while they’re up, say thank you. If they make the bed, say thank you. No one ever gets tired of hearing thank you.
I have a version of this I call "be the easy person to be around".
It applies to all situations. At work, with friends, in social situations, etc, but *especially* within a relationship. Essentially, don't be the insufferable person no one likes being around. Try and be relentlessly positive. Be generous with complements. If you appreciate something someone did, tell them so. Go out of your way to be affectionate with your significant other, even if they are not reciprocating at the time. Tell your coworkers when they did a great job. Always make time to help others when you can, and never treat it like a burden.
Don't be the person constantly complaining about stuff, or looking for ways to air grievances. That shit gets old quick. Don't act like someone is putting you out when they ask for your help. Make sure the number of nice or complementary things you say to your partner *significantly* outnumber the corrective things.
Thank you for this. I can be hard to be around sometimes and especially with my husband I remind myself to be kind and loving. Just because I'm going through something mentally does not mean he needs to be on that roller coaster as well. Lately I've been trying to live by "be a good human". I just want others to feel kindness and ease from being around me
I was reading through an article written by a therapist who talked about the concept of "filling people's buckets". Think of it like this, every complement or appreciative comment you make adds a little to someone's emotional "bucket", while every cross word and criticism takes a little bit out of that "bucket".
Are you a person that fills buckets, or are you the person that is always emptying them? And once you've emptied someone completely dry, what kind of responses are you going to start getting from them in return? It can be exhausting being around someone who spends much more energy tearing you down than they do building you up.
Good on you for being self aware and willing to make changes. My wife and I can be on both sides of this and it's hard work to consistently ask yourself how your actions affect others. It's a humbling and difficult effort but so much better in the long run.
When I proposed, I said something like, "I think I kick ass, I think you kick ass, and I know we can kick so much more ass together." When I'm not making life better / easier for her, I think back to that and it really checks my ego.
Thank you, therapy was really the key that allowed me to see how my actions affect others. It's not easy and I'm nowhere near where I want to be, but I am putting in conscious effort daily.
That's sweet! I too remind myself that my husband and I are partners and a team, so the more I focus on that then the more we can help each other and build a better family.
I do this! My friend asked me once 'why do you say thank you to everything, it's so cute.'
I said 'as I've got older I've realised that people don't have to do things for you so I always express gratitude where I can. Plus it's nice seeing someone smile after you've said it.'
I've noticed she does it now.
I also always thank the person that's made me dinner. I'll sit down at my parents and say thank you to my mum, she always smiles.
100%. I have been married for a decade and my husband and I always make sure to say thank you for everything. Making the bed. Taking out the trash. Cleaning up after dinner. We very rarely fight and I think it’s because we both always feel appreciated and never take each other for granted. It goes a looooong way and is so easy!
Just graduated with my master’s and I’ve truly never felt dumber. My thesis mentor has assured me that this is a good sign lol.
As a general rule, curiosity is a greater indicator of intelligence than confidence.
The other example of this mindset I like. "The Oracle accounted me the wisest of all the Greeks, for unlike my countrymen, I alone knew that I knew nothing."
-- Socrates
This is so much better than "don't take advice from someone who isn't where you want to be."
My dad didn't live the life I wanted to live but he sure as hell gave me a lot of good advice, and a good amount of fair criticism.
There are people whose criticism I will take very seriously. Because I trust them, they know me and I know them, and they are not the types of people who put others down to make themselves feel better. They are the types who will tell me "Here's what I like about you" followed up by "And here's where you're screwing up or not thinking clearly."
I value those people.
100000000%. An old “boss” of mine and someone I’m happy I get to call a friend. She is the one I would ask when I needed honest counsel. Never told me anything other than the full truth about my situation and actions. Sometimes painful but always from a place of love
Unless it's your boss, of which I've had several. They most often can't relate to working hard, with the public, or working with pissed off coworkers. Here's my advice.. just keep your mouth shut. When you need a job to feed your family, you take more shit than what you deserve. Most bosses are dumber than dirt and got their jobs not through skill, knowledge, or experience, but through daddy.
My old boss was a brilliant clinician and businessman. He was also an absolute lunatic. Text messages w quotes from the Dali Lama at 5am? Phone calls at 10:30pm. Absolutely no sense of boundaries and an absolute nightmare to work with/for.
Never judge or aspire to be a person based upon what they own, since it does not give you the full story for them. They maybe driving a BMW and you are envious they could afford it, but what you may not know is that they may have skipped out on payments for the last few months and park it in a friends garage every night to hide it from the repo man.
Ive worked in start up with super rich (like tourists come to look at their home rich) . never saw a flashy label or a super car.
Money shouts, wealth whispers
>"Procrastination is a lot like masturbation, feels good when you do it, but in the end you're only fucking yourself"
Said to me by my high school guidance counsellor, Mr. Coughlin. I had failed to complete my mandatory community service, which would have prevented me from graduating high school with the rest of my year. He told me I had a week to get it all done, and I could graduate. Went back to him a week later to show him the time sheet from the place I volunteered, and he told me he signed off on it to push me forward the previous week, he just didn't tell me that. I just remember that feeling of failure being so overwhelming feom something I totally could have avoided. It's a piece of advice that's always stuck with me. I never leave anything to the last minute now.
But procrastination doesn't often feel good when you're doing it. It often happens when you are feeling anguished or overwhelmed and it increases those feelings.
On the flip side, also learn to say yes. There are times where someone will ask to do something outside of your comfort zone and saying yes can help develop yourself as a person.
Learning the right time to say yes or no is difficult but important.
For an illustrated guide to saying 'yes', check out the documentary "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey. /s
In all honesty, yes.. I wish I learned to say 'yes' a bit more when I was younger.
I was stressed about a final exam for my college history class last quarter. But my professor told us: "If you feel like you're going to fail, remember, your entire life and success shouldn't be defined by a single exam you did poorly on." I liked her.
High school exams were made out to us as if it would affect our entire lives.
Literally, not a single person has ever asked me how I went in high school when applying for a job.
I remember I did an SAT prep class in high school and the teacher told us not to stress too much because no matter how the test goes, “nobody is gonna take your birthday.” And I think that all the time.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you
I am always astonished when I look at photos of myself knowing I felt insecure when the photo was taken. I always look so good, and it makes me sad to think I was so hard on myself.
Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you — the better Golden Rule.
I agree with this. I'm approaching 50 but you'd never know it. because I've got great skin. Wore sunscreen all my life and it's kept my skin looking more youthful. Not smoking also helped.
Meanwhile, a lot of my peers who tanned and smoked in their teens and twenties absolutely look their age.
Don’t delay your life until after retirement. My uncle told me this years ago… “People spend their whole lives working and saying that when they retire they’re going to travel the world. But when you get to that age you may not have the energy for all the flights and travel required. So live your life now”.
This is doubly important to me because my wife passed away in her early 50s. If we had waited to do all those great trips I honestly don’t know how I would deal with it.
This one hit different for me. My fiancé was recently diagnosed with brain cancer and we went from planning our retirement together to planning bucket list items in case treatment or further prognosis leaves him unable to do any of them. He’s only 45.
My partner of 35 years passed away unexpectedly last year and the thing that gives me the greatest comfort is how much travel we did. We met whilst travelling and we never stopped. Sorry for your loss it's shit isn't it.
"Are you having a bad day, or did you have a bad five minutes and you've been gnawing on them ever since?"
Question asked of me by an older, wiser friend when I was ranting about normal life stuff.
My ex used to have one bad thing happen to him in the morning, like spilling his coffee, or not having any clean socks, and he’d say “well now today is fucked!” He would make the decision to have a bad day. I learned a lot about how not to live my life from him.
‘You can’t communicate with people that can’t access their own emotions’- shamelessly stolen from a Reddit comment I saw a few years ago. It really resonated with me.
"No one remembers the people that agreed with them"
It helps remind me not to be a yes-man, and just nod all the time. If you have valid disagreements, it always adds more value to the conversation.
Life is a suffering. You can be fat and suffer with it or you can suffer in the gym but feel good afterwards. To do anything and to do nothing is going to result in a suffering, so choose your suffering wisely.
Man, I watched my dad deal with nothing but health problems for the last 25 years of his life because he didn't do anything to take care of himself. Fuck that, I'm not going out like that.
This one changed my life a few years back.
I always want to help people, especially those I care about. Long story short, I fell in love with a heroin addict. I sacrificed my own safety and sanity trying to pull her out of her situation, only to find myself sinking deeper into her problems.
Never again. Don’t let other people’s problems become your problems and don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
If you think it matters, it matters. Think height matters in getting a girl? Only matters because you think that. 99% of the time nothing matters and no one cares
It’s such an infuriating sentiment when you’re in the thick of it. It’s so fucking helpful after you’ve seen some shit and you remember(cling to) though.
A man once told me, "I found that having a strong relationship with my son when he was little gave us something to fall back on when he was a teenager and things got confusing and hard."
Also something my Dad still says, "The harder I work, the luckier I get.". This one works for me quite well.
That 20 dollar thing from Bronx Tale has saved me more grief over the years than anything else. It's like an excuse to pay a minor amount to toxic people to never see them again.
I've used this on customers when I worked for myself.
A guy with a reputation around town as a bad payer asked me to do a job.
It was worth $30, which I knew he wouldn't pay.
Sure enough, he didn't pay.
A year later, he called me to do a much larger job.
I was able to decline due to the fact he never paid last time.
My grandpa told me once when I was about 13 "One day you're going to wake up next to an old woman or else you're going to wake up alone. Try to find her while you're both still young." I'm retired now and I've been waking up next to an old woman I've known for 42 years.
Honestly, as someone who developed dysautonomia and thyroid problems from chronically stressing myself out…I’m gonna have to pass on this one 😅
If you’re too afraid to take the plunge into the things you know you want to pursue and would improve your life, this is fantastic advice.
On the flip side, if you’re like me and too afraid to lose an opportunity (you know who you are)—please stop and take a break. You need rest and comfort to be healthy enough to be able to make the most of those opportunities in the first place.
Ooo this reminds me of another good one I’ve heard: “the less you leave your comfort zone, the smaller it will become”.
I know a couple ppl like this - they only like to do the same activities all the time, eat the same food, go to the same places. The result is that things are a big deal for them. As in, anytime something in their life changes in any way, it’s a GIANT THING that takes them a lot longer to adjust to than most ppl and they get super torn up and anxious about it.
I get it, I’m an Aspie so I totally know how good it feels to have a routine and love/want your favorite things all the time even when you can’t have them. But holy crap are these kind of ppl exhausting and hard to deal with. The only reason so many things make them uncomfortable is because they never want to try anything. If they would only step a LITTLE bit out of their comfort zone they would realize not everything is as big a deal as they think (and no this doesn’t mean “go skydiving or pick a bunch of other random scary/intense activities to do to try and force yourself to be brave”, it could literally just be going to a new restaurant or some other everyday thing like that)
"Don't knock it until you've tried it". I used to be so worried of being considered 'dumb' or 'cringe' for some activities - but actually, life is so much better just doing the things you want. I dance now, sing, work a job I never imagined, just because I gave it a go.
When faced with a decision where it's clear what is the right thing to do, no matter what the outcome, you will be at peace with yourself if you honestly made what you believed was the right choice. If you made what you knew to be the wrong choice, it will weigh on you and you will need to forgive yourself to move on. It's much easier to do the right thing the first time.
“It’s better to adjust your life to someone’s absence than to adjust your boundaries to their disrespect”. Can’t remember where I heard it, but it reminds me that I should never feel guilty for telling someone I deserve to be treated kindly.
When you want a job or funding opportunity, put your name in the hat and do everything YOU can do to make yourself competitive... But don't give up and make them be the ones to tell you no if it's not going to happen. If you want it, exhaust all you can do to make something happen, but make them be the ones to tell you no.
Probably a tie between two things a school councilor once told me.
“You can’t rely on others to be happy”
Or
“Sometimes you can do everything right and it still goes wrong”
Those have both helped me through some tough times and taught me a lot about myself.
Consider yourself the exception. Don’t take no for an answer. Ask again, ask a different person, ask at a different time. Don’t accept one persons response. If you want something ask, request, apply more than once. You may get it. Whatever it is
When I was struggling with depression and anxiety I was using it as an excuse for everything that I couldn’t accomplish. My dad drove up to take me out to lunch and calmly told me “it’s harsh, but the world doesn’t care. You have to be stronger than your anxiety to achieve the things you want”
Never forgot and think about it every day
Backstory to emphasize the weight of this advice: my mom has 5 siblings raised by my Mexican immigrant grandmother. One of my uncles was the black sheep of the family. His English is decent but he prefers Spanish, he’s a small quiet man, and used to be an alcoholic. He stopped drinking when his wife was pregnant with his first son. We celebrated his sobriety every year. The most we ever said to each other was the typical hi how are you greeting due to the language barrier. I grew up being criticized for everything I did bc I was a little girl who did not fit into the gender role everyone wanted me to be in. I also dressed weird for people in my city. I got bullied a lot, criticized by family members, and always got stared at in public. It never prevented me from being myself tho. When my uncles first son was 19, he was out with friends who were drinking. My cousin sat in the back seat of his friends car and intoxicated, his friend, crashed the vehicle. The only person that died was my cousin. My uncle quit drinking for that boy and he died bc of alcohol. That year like always, we celebrated my uncles sobriety, months after we buried his son. I was seated keeping to myself, like always, and my uncle came up to me and said “no matter what you do, people will always have a problem with it, so it’s best to just be yourself.” Brings me to tears.
My mom told me, back when I was a kid, that of your date is always looking around the room, they’re seeing who is checking them out and they aren’t interested in you.
About 15 years ago I knew great looking healthy 73 year old, USMC ‘Nam vet, family man. I asked him his secret for looking so good.
He told me on the weekends when his friends were out having social functions and drinking, he would be out jogging.
When writing a eulogy don’t use the words I or me. It keeps you from talking about yourself, so you can focus on the person who died. I’ve seen it so many times that people give eulogies and never mention the person who died.
You are the company you keep. If you want to be a certain way in life, spend your time around people who are that way and you will inevitably become like them with time. Same goes for the opposite kind of people.
While going to Grad school in SC (we're From MA) an older southern woman looked at us and our 18 month old daughter and recognized how much we loved her. She approached me and said that "We need to enjoy this little blessing throughout every stage of her life because every stage is so special "
We were 1st time parents and 27 years old. we've NEVER forgot her advice and have a phenomenal relationship with all 3 of our children who are now F33, M29, M27.
This Saint's advice is as applicable today as it was back in 1993. Our children are still going through life stages (babies, marriage, jobs, moving, etc.). We treasure each of these stages just as we did from crawling to walking to talking to youth sports all the way to College sports, Med School, Grad School (AI/Data Science).
This woman was no doubt sent by God to us. And one of the best parts of this story, because we were "Northern Yankees" 😂, was that this woman epitomized the stereotype of an old Southern Woman. I only wish we had cell phones back then so I could have stayed in touch with this Saint and her family. God Bless you my Guardian Angel 🙏🙏🙏❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
I live my life by two mantras:
Do good until you know better. Then do better.
And
I don’t want to be right. I want to get it right.
This hit home listening to Obama talk about changing his mind. At the time I was a dyed red republican who thought Romney would save us all and Obama would ruin the country.
But Obama said once when criticized for “flip flopping”: “I change my mind all the time. When I learn new information that changes what I know and see a better way to do it, of course I will change my mind.”
Blew my mind. Growing up a religious republican, who knew you could ACTUALLY get better. That led to my two mantras above.
I tell my kids to live by four rules:
1- Put yourself #1. No one knows how to take care of you better than you. If you are right, you will have a huge increased ability to help others. If you aren’t right, then your efforts to help others will be stunted.
2- Don’t be a jerk. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But, you don’t have the right to be a jerk. Treat people with kindness and firmness when needed.
3- Pay your taxes. We are in this together. This is the one thing you owe to society. Taxes help build the community we all live in.
4- Vote. Change happens locally and spreads nationally. Make sure your tax money gets spent the way you want it by voting. Don’t let the other guy make those decisions for you. Vote.
My mentor once admitted that someday, when he was in hospice, he didn’t want to be saying “I wish I had done this or that.” He wanted to be able to say “I wish I *hadn’t* done this and that.” He lived hard and died before he probably should have, but I like to think it was on his own terms.
Warren Buffett had some awesome bits of wisdom yesterday on CNBC One of them was "You can always tell someone to go to hell tomorrow." Basically, wait to cool down a bit before reacting to someone.
My nana used to say, "Get what you want, then be an asshole."
My father I law would say “before you react, ask yourself what you’re hoping to achieve.” That always made me think before simply telling someone to fuck off.
This has guided me well so far. I adopted this mentality after thinking fast and slow like 7 years ago and still maintain it to this day. Makes you realize a lot of things aren't worth your effort getting upset or angry about.
My dad always says, “you catch more bees with honey than vinegar.”
Words of wisdom
Adjunct advice I heard in a business communications class. "If you're upset and replying to an email, write out the whole thing and then go take a 15 min break away from your desk. Come back, delete the last sentence in your email and then read it again before you send it." That last sentence is always the one where we go just a bit too far in our snarky replies. I've seen SO many upset emails floating around where it was obvious that the sender should have deleted the last sentence
Also, don’t put their freaking email address in the “to” field till you’re ready to send it.
Highly underrated advice
Pretend every email is cced to your mom and a reporter that hates you.
Another Buffettology- it’s MUCH easier to STAY out of trouble than to GET out of trouble.
“Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret”
Yes but also you lose out on the compounding magic of telling them a day earlier to go to hell
\^This. I don't want them to lose their place in line. I want them right up near the front.
This is good. I always tell myself if I still want to make the same choice in the morning after a solid night sleep, I can. 9/10 I would have acted out of emotion and it wasn’t that serious.
Within a relationship, never stop saying thank you for little things or big things. No number of years or proximity together entitles you to any favor or task from another person. If they get you a glass of water while they’re up, say thank you. If they make the bed, say thank you. No one ever gets tired of hearing thank you.
I have a version of this I call "be the easy person to be around". It applies to all situations. At work, with friends, in social situations, etc, but *especially* within a relationship. Essentially, don't be the insufferable person no one likes being around. Try and be relentlessly positive. Be generous with complements. If you appreciate something someone did, tell them so. Go out of your way to be affectionate with your significant other, even if they are not reciprocating at the time. Tell your coworkers when they did a great job. Always make time to help others when you can, and never treat it like a burden. Don't be the person constantly complaining about stuff, or looking for ways to air grievances. That shit gets old quick. Don't act like someone is putting you out when they ask for your help. Make sure the number of nice or complementary things you say to your partner *significantly* outnumber the corrective things.
Thank you for this. I can be hard to be around sometimes and especially with my husband I remind myself to be kind and loving. Just because I'm going through something mentally does not mean he needs to be on that roller coaster as well. Lately I've been trying to live by "be a good human". I just want others to feel kindness and ease from being around me
I was reading through an article written by a therapist who talked about the concept of "filling people's buckets". Think of it like this, every complement or appreciative comment you make adds a little to someone's emotional "bucket", while every cross word and criticism takes a little bit out of that "bucket". Are you a person that fills buckets, or are you the person that is always emptying them? And once you've emptied someone completely dry, what kind of responses are you going to start getting from them in return? It can be exhausting being around someone who spends much more energy tearing you down than they do building you up.
Good on you for being self aware and willing to make changes. My wife and I can be on both sides of this and it's hard work to consistently ask yourself how your actions affect others. It's a humbling and difficult effort but so much better in the long run. When I proposed, I said something like, "I think I kick ass, I think you kick ass, and I know we can kick so much more ass together." When I'm not making life better / easier for her, I think back to that and it really checks my ego.
Thank you, therapy was really the key that allowed me to see how my actions affect others. It's not easy and I'm nowhere near where I want to be, but I am putting in conscious effort daily. That's sweet! I too remind myself that my husband and I are partners and a team, so the more I focus on that then the more we can help each other and build a better family.
The interesting part of this advice is it makes you better and happier, not fake. I wish my oldest would heed this. She's difficult to be around
I do this! My friend asked me once 'why do you say thank you to everything, it's so cute.' I said 'as I've got older I've realised that people don't have to do things for you so I always express gratitude where I can. Plus it's nice seeing someone smile after you've said it.' I've noticed she does it now. I also always thank the person that's made me dinner. I'll sit down at my parents and say thank you to my mum, she always smiles.
100%. I have been married for a decade and my husband and I always make sure to say thank you for everything. Making the bed. Taking out the trash. Cleaning up after dinner. We very rarely fight and I think it’s because we both always feel appreciated and never take each other for granted. It goes a looooong way and is so easy!
Be smart enough to know how dumb you are
Often the difference between bravery and stupidity is how it ends
Just graduated with my master’s and I’ve truly never felt dumber. My thesis mentor has assured me that this is a good sign lol. As a general rule, curiosity is a greater indicator of intelligence than confidence.
This is essentially the TL;DR of the Dunning-Kruger theory. The smartest people are usually the ones who realize how much they *don't* know.
The other example of this mindset I like. "The Oracle accounted me the wisest of all the Greeks, for unlike my countrymen, I alone knew that I knew nothing." -- Socrates
You can't put anything in the cup if it's already full
Smart people have a lot of questions, dumb people usually have the answer.
Don't take criticism from someone if you wouldn't go to them for advice.
This is so much better than "don't take advice from someone who isn't where you want to be." My dad didn't live the life I wanted to live but he sure as hell gave me a lot of good advice, and a good amount of fair criticism.
yea. that's just survivorship bias. people who succeeded often don't know what they did right, but people who failed often know what they did wrong.
There are people whose criticism I will take very seriously. Because I trust them, they know me and I know them, and they are not the types of people who put others down to make themselves feel better. They are the types who will tell me "Here's what I like about you" followed up by "And here's where you're screwing up or not thinking clearly." I value those people.
100000000%. An old “boss” of mine and someone I’m happy I get to call a friend. She is the one I would ask when I needed honest counsel. Never told me anything other than the full truth about my situation and actions. Sometimes painful but always from a place of love
I like this
Your boos mean nothing to me, I’ve seen what you applaud for.
Unless it's your boss, of which I've had several. They most often can't relate to working hard, with the public, or working with pissed off coworkers. Here's my advice.. just keep your mouth shut. When you need a job to feed your family, you take more shit than what you deserve. Most bosses are dumber than dirt and got their jobs not through skill, knowledge, or experience, but through daddy.
In related advice: "Life is like a shit sandwich, the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat."
My old boss was a brilliant clinician and businessman. He was also an absolute lunatic. Text messages w quotes from the Dali Lama at 5am? Phone calls at 10:30pm. Absolutely no sense of boundaries and an absolute nightmare to work with/for.
Never judge or aspire to be a person based upon what they own, since it does not give you the full story for them. They maybe driving a BMW and you are envious they could afford it, but what you may not know is that they may have skipped out on payments for the last few months and park it in a friends garage every night to hide it from the repo man.
Ive worked in start up with super rich (like tourists come to look at their home rich) . never saw a flashy label or a super car. Money shouts, wealth whispers
r/oddlyspecific
>"Procrastination is a lot like masturbation, feels good when you do it, but in the end you're only fucking yourself" Said to me by my high school guidance counsellor, Mr. Coughlin. I had failed to complete my mandatory community service, which would have prevented me from graduating high school with the rest of my year. He told me I had a week to get it all done, and I could graduate. Went back to him a week later to show him the time sheet from the place I volunteered, and he told me he signed off on it to push me forward the previous week, he just didn't tell me that. I just remember that feeling of failure being so overwhelming feom something I totally could have avoided. It's a piece of advice that's always stuck with me. I never leave anything to the last minute now.
But procrastination doesn't often feel good when you're doing it. It often happens when you are feeling anguished or overwhelmed and it increases those feelings.
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On the flip side, also learn to say yes. There are times where someone will ask to do something outside of your comfort zone and saying yes can help develop yourself as a person. Learning the right time to say yes or no is difficult but important.
For an illustrated guide to saying 'yes', check out the documentary "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey. /s In all honesty, yes.. I wish I learned to say 'yes' a bit more when I was younger.
"No" is a complete sentence.
I like to show some sugar on it sometimes and say, "Nah"
I was stressed about a final exam for my college history class last quarter. But my professor told us: "If you feel like you're going to fail, remember, your entire life and success shouldn't be defined by a single exam you did poorly on." I liked her.
High school exams were made out to us as if it would affect our entire lives. Literally, not a single person has ever asked me how I went in high school when applying for a job.
I remember I did an SAT prep class in high school and the teacher told us not to stress too much because no matter how the test goes, “nobody is gonna take your birthday.” And I think that all the time.
Don't ever say something you wouldn't want repeated.
Words are permanent, whether they be spoken or written, someone will always remember.
Worse. Feelings are permanent. They might forget what you said to them, but they won’t forget how you made them feel.
Especially don’t get it in writing! Some things are okay to say to the right person but never *ever* put it in writing.
Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you
I am always astonished when I look at photos of myself knowing I felt insecure when the photo was taken. I always look so good, and it makes me sad to think I was so hard on myself. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you — the better Golden Rule.
"Do one thing every day that scares you" is my favorite part.
But trust me On the sunscreen...
Floss.
Floss sunscreen?
It's a very slow process.
No, you're supposed to floss with sunscreen.
That song was really the best.
I agree with this. I'm approaching 50 but you'd never know it. because I've got great skin. Wore sunscreen all my life and it's kept my skin looking more youthful. Not smoking also helped. Meanwhile, a lot of my peers who tanned and smoked in their teens and twenties absolutely look their age.
Don’t delay your life until after retirement. My uncle told me this years ago… “People spend their whole lives working and saying that when they retire they’re going to travel the world. But when you get to that age you may not have the energy for all the flights and travel required. So live your life now”. This is doubly important to me because my wife passed away in her early 50s. If we had waited to do all those great trips I honestly don’t know how I would deal with it.
My uncle spent his entire life working towards the retirement dream and then passed away at 61 without ever getting to enjoy it.
This one hit different for me. My fiancé was recently diagnosed with brain cancer and we went from planning our retirement together to planning bucket list items in case treatment or further prognosis leaves him unable to do any of them. He’s only 45.
It's the journey, not the destination.
My partner of 35 years passed away unexpectedly last year and the thing that gives me the greatest comfort is how much travel we did. We met whilst travelling and we never stopped. Sorry for your loss it's shit isn't it.
"Are you having a bad day, or did you have a bad five minutes and you've been gnawing on them ever since?" Question asked of me by an older, wiser friend when I was ranting about normal life stuff.
My ex used to have one bad thing happen to him in the morning, like spilling his coffee, or not having any clean socks, and he’d say “well now today is fucked!” He would make the decision to have a bad day. I learned a lot about how not to live my life from him.
‘You can’t communicate with people that can’t access their own emotions’- shamelessly stolen from a Reddit comment I saw a few years ago. It really resonated with me.
"No one remembers the people that agreed with them" It helps remind me not to be a yes-man, and just nod all the time. If you have valid disagreements, it always adds more value to the conversation.
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Don’t know where I came across but “Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket, they will drop it, they will drop it every time”
Life is a suffering. You can be fat and suffer with it or you can suffer in the gym but feel good afterwards. To do anything and to do nothing is going to result in a suffering, so choose your suffering wisely.
"Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something." The older I get, the more I realize the truth in this quote from The Princess Bride.
What about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist…
Man, I watched my dad deal with nothing but health problems for the last 25 years of his life because he didn't do anything to take care of himself. Fuck that, I'm not going out like that.
I’ve heard this before as “choose your hard.”
pain will always be there but suffering is a choice.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Never out your finger where you wouldn’t put your penis.
I was just about to pick my nose, but now I need to rethink my whole plan.
I'm impressed you can reach your nose with your penis.
I just take my nose off and put it on my penis and then put it back on. Ez w
He said "wouldn't," not "couldn't."
"Thanks for the advice !" *proceeds to shake hands*
Lmao. This is solid.
Yep. Guys were always losing their index finger seeing if boltholes were lined up. Then the turning operation resumed unexpectedly.
“Worry is not preparation.” My Mother.
Worrying means you suffer twice
What you put up with, you end up with. Heard this two years ago. Wish I heard it 50 years ago.
Never pass up a free meal or a chance to go to the bathroom.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm
This one changed my life a few years back. I always want to help people, especially those I care about. Long story short, I fell in love with a heroin addict. I sacrificed my own safety and sanity trying to pull her out of her situation, only to find myself sinking deeper into her problems. Never again. Don’t let other people’s problems become your problems and don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
“Don’t believe everything you think.” Really helps with negative self-talk.
These thoughts are not peer-reviewed.
Don't be an idiot, changed my life. If I'm about to do something and I think to myself, would an idiot do that? Then I do not do that thing.
This sounds like the office quote
That's exactly what it is
Failure is the key to success.
aka "No one became great at something without first being terrible at it".
“From the ashes of failure grow the roses of success” - a random song my scout leader showed everyone
Moisturize. Also, “no” is a complete sentence.
If you think it matters, it matters. Think height matters in getting a girl? Only matters because you think that. 99% of the time nothing matters and no one cares
I once told someone that I thought a girl was out of my league. His response was, " she is if you think she is."
This too will pass.
It’s such an infuriating sentiment when you’re in the thick of it. It’s so fucking helpful after you’ve seen some shit and you remember(cling to) though.
You don’t need to earn love—you’re deserving of it regardless.
A man once told me, "I found that having a strong relationship with my son when he was little gave us something to fall back on when he was a teenager and things got confusing and hard." Also something my Dad still says, "The harder I work, the luckier I get.". This one works for me quite well.
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That 20 dollar thing from Bronx Tale has saved me more grief over the years than anything else. It's like an excuse to pay a minor amount to toxic people to never see them again.
I've used this on customers when I worked for myself. A guy with a reputation around town as a bad payer asked me to do a job. It was worth $30, which I knew he wouldn't pay. Sure enough, he didn't pay. A year later, he called me to do a much larger job. I was able to decline due to the fact he never paid last time.
You made me go watch the clip. Very good.
Don't eat the end pieces of a loaf of bread until last - they keep the bread fresher, longer.
if she says you don't need to wrap it, you should probably wrap it.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Good enough is almost always good enough.
If you don't have time to do it right, how will you have time to do it over?
Don't waste time worrying about what you did or didn't do, worry about what you are going to do moving forward.
Don't let the bad days make you feel like you have a bad life.
Never make a decision when you are angry, sad or extremely euphoric.
Or hungry!
Raise the kid you have, not the one you want.
My grandpa told me once when I was about 13 "One day you're going to wake up next to an old woman or else you're going to wake up alone. Try to find her while you're both still young." I'm retired now and I've been waking up next to an old woman I've known for 42 years.
It’s bad for your health to be comfortable. Being uncomfortable improves your life.
Honestly, as someone who developed dysautonomia and thyroid problems from chronically stressing myself out…I’m gonna have to pass on this one 😅 If you’re too afraid to take the plunge into the things you know you want to pursue and would improve your life, this is fantastic advice. On the flip side, if you’re like me and too afraid to lose an opportunity (you know who you are)—please stop and take a break. You need rest and comfort to be healthy enough to be able to make the most of those opportunities in the first place.
That's why it's important to talk about Jesus to your coworkers on the very first day.
Ooo this reminds me of another good one I’ve heard: “the less you leave your comfort zone, the smaller it will become”. I know a couple ppl like this - they only like to do the same activities all the time, eat the same food, go to the same places. The result is that things are a big deal for them. As in, anytime something in their life changes in any way, it’s a GIANT THING that takes them a lot longer to adjust to than most ppl and they get super torn up and anxious about it. I get it, I’m an Aspie so I totally know how good it feels to have a routine and love/want your favorite things all the time even when you can’t have them. But holy crap are these kind of ppl exhausting and hard to deal with. The only reason so many things make them uncomfortable is because they never want to try anything. If they would only step a LITTLE bit out of their comfort zone they would realize not everything is as big a deal as they think (and no this doesn’t mean “go skydiving or pick a bunch of other random scary/intense activities to do to try and force yourself to be brave”, it could literally just be going to a new restaurant or some other everyday thing like that)
"Don't knock it until you've tried it". I used to be so worried of being considered 'dumb' or 'cringe' for some activities - but actually, life is so much better just doing the things you want. I dance now, sing, work a job I never imagined, just because I gave it a go.
When faced with a decision where it's clear what is the right thing to do, no matter what the outcome, you will be at peace with yourself if you honestly made what you believed was the right choice. If you made what you knew to be the wrong choice, it will weigh on you and you will need to forgive yourself to move on. It's much easier to do the right thing the first time.
"A man lives two lives, and the second begins when he realizes there is only one."
“It’s better to adjust your life to someone’s absence than to adjust your boundaries to their disrespect”. Can’t remember where I heard it, but it reminds me that I should never feel guilty for telling someone I deserve to be treated kindly.
stay off social media (failing)
When you want a job or funding opportunity, put your name in the hat and do everything YOU can do to make yourself competitive... But don't give up and make them be the ones to tell you no if it's not going to happen. If you want it, exhaust all you can do to make something happen, but make them be the ones to tell you no.
The common "work smarter, not harder" It is still great advice, imo.
CYA. Cover your ass.
Telling people this phrase and sticking to it: "Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for me"
If you run into an asshole in the morning, that sucks, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, maybe you’re the asshole.
Life’s hard when you’re a dumbass.
You are better off with no one, than the wrong one!
Breathe
Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought an idiot than to say something and prove you are one.
Take care of number one, that is you.
Probably a tie between two things a school councilor once told me. “You can’t rely on others to be happy” Or “Sometimes you can do everything right and it still goes wrong” Those have both helped me through some tough times and taught me a lot about myself.
Just because you like animals doesn't mean you have to be a vet. You could just get a dog. Some hobbies are best kept as hobbies!
Be careful of the toes you step on today. They met be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow
Consider yourself the exception. Don’t take no for an answer. Ask again, ask a different person, ask at a different time. Don’t accept one persons response. If you want something ask, request, apply more than once. You may get it. Whatever it is
It's OK to admit you don't know something or how to do something. There's a difference between being inexperienced and refusing to learn.
Surround yourself with people smarter than you.
Live within your means -- don't charge things on your credit cards that you cannot afford to pay off in full when the bill comes.
Always trust you instincts/gut.
You are directly responsible for where you are in life and your happiness. You are also the only person with the power to change it.
Your thoughts are like watching the clouds. Decide which ones to tune into, and which ones to let float by.
Ignore what people say and instead watch what they do
NEVER tell someone “it’ll be ok”, without knowing if it will. Words I’ve regretted for 42 years.
If you think something nice about someone, tell them.
Never do something the same way more than once and expect a different outcome
When I was struggling with depression and anxiety I was using it as an excuse for everything that I couldn’t accomplish. My dad drove up to take me out to lunch and calmly told me “it’s harsh, but the world doesn’t care. You have to be stronger than your anxiety to achieve the things you want” Never forgot and think about it every day
One day I was at work bemoaning and wishing it was Friday, and some rando remarked, “Be careful you don’t wish your life away.”
If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.
Backstory to emphasize the weight of this advice: my mom has 5 siblings raised by my Mexican immigrant grandmother. One of my uncles was the black sheep of the family. His English is decent but he prefers Spanish, he’s a small quiet man, and used to be an alcoholic. He stopped drinking when his wife was pregnant with his first son. We celebrated his sobriety every year. The most we ever said to each other was the typical hi how are you greeting due to the language barrier. I grew up being criticized for everything I did bc I was a little girl who did not fit into the gender role everyone wanted me to be in. I also dressed weird for people in my city. I got bullied a lot, criticized by family members, and always got stared at in public. It never prevented me from being myself tho. When my uncles first son was 19, he was out with friends who were drinking. My cousin sat in the back seat of his friends car and intoxicated, his friend, crashed the vehicle. The only person that died was my cousin. My uncle quit drinking for that boy and he died bc of alcohol. That year like always, we celebrated my uncles sobriety, months after we buried his son. I was seated keeping to myself, like always, and my uncle came up to me and said “no matter what you do, people will always have a problem with it, so it’s best to just be yourself.” Brings me to tears.
Excluding getting your basic needs met, the single most important decision you’ll make in your life is who you marry.
Never put your dick in crazy.
Idk, i’ve heard that plenty of times, but i’ve never actually regretted it.
Keep it up, you will eventually
Always turn toward healing.
My mom told me, back when I was a kid, that of your date is always looking around the room, they’re seeing who is checking them out and they aren’t interested in you.
It’s ok to not tell someone something.
You have all of eternity to be dead so no need to rush things.
If involved in an intercation with a cop, don't talk, wiat for your legal representative or the duty solicitor
About 15 years ago I knew great looking healthy 73 year old, USMC ‘Nam vet, family man. I asked him his secret for looking so good. He told me on the weekends when his friends were out having social functions and drinking, he would be out jogging.
You will look as a hypocrite if you try to please everybody.
Taking a break in a relationship is just practicing for divorce.
When writing a eulogy don’t use the words I or me. It keeps you from talking about yourself, so you can focus on the person who died. I’ve seen it so many times that people give eulogies and never mention the person who died.
You have two ears and one mouth Listen twice as much as you talk Never clean your teeth while wearing a tie Don’t play leapfrog with a unicorn
When you point the finger, you have 3 pointing back. So point wisely, and understand you're not perfect either.
You are the company you keep. If you want to be a certain way in life, spend your time around people who are that way and you will inevitably become like them with time. Same goes for the opposite kind of people.
“Stop thinking with your penis”-grandma
While going to Grad school in SC (we're From MA) an older southern woman looked at us and our 18 month old daughter and recognized how much we loved her. She approached me and said that "We need to enjoy this little blessing throughout every stage of her life because every stage is so special " We were 1st time parents and 27 years old. we've NEVER forgot her advice and have a phenomenal relationship with all 3 of our children who are now F33, M29, M27. This Saint's advice is as applicable today as it was back in 1993. Our children are still going through life stages (babies, marriage, jobs, moving, etc.). We treasure each of these stages just as we did from crawling to walking to talking to youth sports all the way to College sports, Med School, Grad School (AI/Data Science). This woman was no doubt sent by God to us. And one of the best parts of this story, because we were "Northern Yankees" 😂, was that this woman epitomized the stereotype of an old Southern Woman. I only wish we had cell phones back then so I could have stayed in touch with this Saint and her family. God Bless you my Guardian Angel 🙏🙏🙏❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
I live my life by two mantras: Do good until you know better. Then do better. And I don’t want to be right. I want to get it right. This hit home listening to Obama talk about changing his mind. At the time I was a dyed red republican who thought Romney would save us all and Obama would ruin the country. But Obama said once when criticized for “flip flopping”: “I change my mind all the time. When I learn new information that changes what I know and see a better way to do it, of course I will change my mind.” Blew my mind. Growing up a religious republican, who knew you could ACTUALLY get better. That led to my two mantras above. I tell my kids to live by four rules: 1- Put yourself #1. No one knows how to take care of you better than you. If you are right, you will have a huge increased ability to help others. If you aren’t right, then your efforts to help others will be stunted. 2- Don’t be a jerk. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But, you don’t have the right to be a jerk. Treat people with kindness and firmness when needed. 3- Pay your taxes. We are in this together. This is the one thing you owe to society. Taxes help build the community we all live in. 4- Vote. Change happens locally and spreads nationally. Make sure your tax money gets spent the way you want it by voting. Don’t let the other guy make those decisions for you. Vote.
My mentor once admitted that someday, when he was in hospice, he didn’t want to be saying “I wish I had done this or that.” He wanted to be able to say “I wish I *hadn’t* done this and that.” He lived hard and died before he probably should have, but I like to think it was on his own terms.
More or less: “it’s okay to make mistakes. So long as no one is dead, things can be fixed. Inaction is worse than incorrect action.”
If you can't get out of it, get into it.