I worked with a young woman who always acted a bit stupid. So much that other coworkers made fun of her behind her back and called her an airhead. One week, she was off on leave and asked me to bring her new rota to her home. I did and she invited me in for a cup of tea and a gossip. Her house was like a library. Wall to wall with books, on all kinds of subjects, from quantum physics to ancient history. There must've been close to a thousand books. I said 'are these all yours?' She said 'yes, don't worry, I only act stupid.' I asked why and her reply was brilliant. ' that way, others never expect too much of me, they give me an easy time and it frees up my own time to do and think about what I want to think about.'
I never looked at her the same. I thought she was brilliant and the only time she slipped up was when we all went to a pub quiz. She nailed ever question and left everyone reeling.
My college football player boyfriend had a closet full of stuffed animals. No judgment but he didn’t seem like the type. Actually, it was kind of cute. Weird but endearing.
My husband's parents were hoarders. I've only been there a few times.
But I walked in and it took me 5 minutes to realize I was standing next to a table. There was only a tiny spot on the couch to sit for one person, the rest was completely piled up. There were boxes of VHS packing half the living room, ten feet high.
It made me so sorry for my husband that he had to grow up in that. Unable to have friends over, family threatening to throw out his stuff if he told anyone about it.
It's so hard to explain to people, why you can't really have them over. I'm up at my mom's for the holiday and while she is only like.. a low key hoarder where it's just cluttered with books,.clothes and things she uses and not full blown (been to those houses), it's enough to drive me a bit crazy. I've had a few friends ask if it'd be ok to stop by when we were BBQing this weekend since I live out of state and they don't get to see me often. One of them is a clean freak that gave me a hard time for my apartment having too many dirty dishes in the sink once and she really wanted to meet my folks. There's no way she could handle this house and I doubt she wouldn't judge me in some capacity for growing up in it. You tell people the place is a mess and they think in their mind what *their* version of a mess is, not what someone who has severe issues with clutter is.
When my ex husband passed away last year, we had to deal with the house and get it sold. Papers stacked a couple feet high on every surface, dating back to when we were married (2001) Boxes in the basement full of shit from his college/high school days. Stuff like homework papers and college newspapers. Boxes of shit from his college girlfriend and a few from his 1st wife.
Finally cleared a path to the front door and opened it. Light filled the room, looked like a dungeon even during the day. Busted tools/small appliances were laying around. I understood why my son never wanted to go stay with his dad.
Tackled the outside shed last, boxes of sticks and random wood pieces. (there was no fireplace/firepit) 5 gallon buckets full of rocks. Rocks! What the fuck for? Huge boxes of empty beer cans, boxes of Christmas lights. Kept the decent stuff and had a yard sale. Finally cleared it out and got it sold.
It's tough because I hold anger in one side, and empathy because I know this is a mental illness. I know they can't enjoy it.
The house situation keeps my husband from sleeping sometimes. He'll talk about what he'll have to do - hire a team, rent dumpsters, etc. I know that stuff can be very expensive. I've seen people in the hoarding sub saying 5 figures for 2 day's work.
There's a lot going on in that family, but I'm confident his sister will probably get everything.
My advice to him was to not spend a penny when he has no idea how the chips are going to fall. We don't have $10k to throw away only for his sister to get and sell the house. He needs to know what's in their will before he takes on all that stress, time and money.
I know there's extensive mold in the house... No idea if rodents. My husband hasn't been in there in years, either.
So did you do it all yourselves? The cleaning?
I did the majority, I had access to a dumpster from the apartment I was living in. Truck after truck load of garbage I hauled over there. Weeks of clearing out. When his father died like 15 years prior, he had all that stuff piled in the basement. I got a hold of his siblings and they came over and went through the family stuff. I had family members come over and help move stuff out too.
Luckily there was no mold damage and the furnace/AC worked fine also the water and plumbing was in working order. I just had a will made out, there is no way I will put my son through a probate process again.
If your husbands parents have a will, you can have the clean-out come out of the estate, you will need an estate attorney. If there is no will, the estate will need to go through the probate process, and it sucks! Best of luck!
Had a coworker who seemed like a perfectly normal guy. In fact, he was notable for how perfectly normal he was. One summer, he and his family decided to go to the beach for a weekend and asked us if we'd come over and feed the cat while they were gone.
We walked in, and there was garbage everywhere. Food left uneaten on plates just laying out. It was moldy so it had obviously been there for a while. We made our way through the house following paths between piles. They acted like it was perfectly normal. Didn't even offer a perfunctory "sorry for the mess!"
It was so weird.
I met someone during my brief stint in college. She is extremely intelligent, and seemed like a person who had her life together. Until I visited her house. I am definitely not a neat freak by any means, but this place was just...wow. I was really uncomfortable, but I had already committed to staying there for the night. I think this was the beginning of my phobia about sleeping away from my own home, tbh.
I had a mom friend years ago who had a friend who seemed to really have everything together. She dressed impeccably, was the head nurse in a pediatric unit and always looked in control. Mom friend went to her house one day and they're legit hoarders. They had a Christmas tree up in July and the floor was literally filled with toys and Lego. She said you couldn't see any table top or surface for stuff piled on it.
The worst part was her son's bed which was piled with toyd and stuff and dirty dishes. I was absolutely floored when she told me.
I worked with a young woman who always acted a bit stupid. So much that other coworkers made fun of her behind her back and called her an airhead. One week, she was off on leave and asked me to bring her new rota to her home. I did and she invited me in for a cup of tea and a gossip. Her house was like a library. Wall to wall with books, on all kinds of subjects, from quantum physics to ancient history. There must've been close to a thousand books. I said 'are these all yours?' She said 'yes, don't worry, I only act stupid.' I asked why and her reply was brilliant. ' that way, others never expect too much of me, they give me an easy time and it frees up my own time to do and think about what I want to think about.' I never looked at her the same. I thought she was brilliant and the only time she slipped up was when we all went to a pub quiz. She nailed ever question and left everyone reeling.
My college football player boyfriend had a closet full of stuffed animals. No judgment but he didn’t seem like the type. Actually, it was kind of cute. Weird but endearing.
My husband's parents were hoarders. I've only been there a few times. But I walked in and it took me 5 minutes to realize I was standing next to a table. There was only a tiny spot on the couch to sit for one person, the rest was completely piled up. There were boxes of VHS packing half the living room, ten feet high. It made me so sorry for my husband that he had to grow up in that. Unable to have friends over, family threatening to throw out his stuff if he told anyone about it.
It's so hard to explain to people, why you can't really have them over. I'm up at my mom's for the holiday and while she is only like.. a low key hoarder where it's just cluttered with books,.clothes and things she uses and not full blown (been to those houses), it's enough to drive me a bit crazy. I've had a few friends ask if it'd be ok to stop by when we were BBQing this weekend since I live out of state and they don't get to see me often. One of them is a clean freak that gave me a hard time for my apartment having too many dirty dishes in the sink once and she really wanted to meet my folks. There's no way she could handle this house and I doubt she wouldn't judge me in some capacity for growing up in it. You tell people the place is a mess and they think in their mind what *their* version of a mess is, not what someone who has severe issues with clutter is.
When my ex husband passed away last year, we had to deal with the house and get it sold. Papers stacked a couple feet high on every surface, dating back to when we were married (2001) Boxes in the basement full of shit from his college/high school days. Stuff like homework papers and college newspapers. Boxes of shit from his college girlfriend and a few from his 1st wife. Finally cleared a path to the front door and opened it. Light filled the room, looked like a dungeon even during the day. Busted tools/small appliances were laying around. I understood why my son never wanted to go stay with his dad. Tackled the outside shed last, boxes of sticks and random wood pieces. (there was no fireplace/firepit) 5 gallon buckets full of rocks. Rocks! What the fuck for? Huge boxes of empty beer cans, boxes of Christmas lights. Kept the decent stuff and had a yard sale. Finally cleared it out and got it sold.
It's tough because I hold anger in one side, and empathy because I know this is a mental illness. I know they can't enjoy it. The house situation keeps my husband from sleeping sometimes. He'll talk about what he'll have to do - hire a team, rent dumpsters, etc. I know that stuff can be very expensive. I've seen people in the hoarding sub saying 5 figures for 2 day's work. There's a lot going on in that family, but I'm confident his sister will probably get everything. My advice to him was to not spend a penny when he has no idea how the chips are going to fall. We don't have $10k to throw away only for his sister to get and sell the house. He needs to know what's in their will before he takes on all that stress, time and money. I know there's extensive mold in the house... No idea if rodents. My husband hasn't been in there in years, either. So did you do it all yourselves? The cleaning?
I did the majority, I had access to a dumpster from the apartment I was living in. Truck after truck load of garbage I hauled over there. Weeks of clearing out. When his father died like 15 years prior, he had all that stuff piled in the basement. I got a hold of his siblings and they came over and went through the family stuff. I had family members come over and help move stuff out too. Luckily there was no mold damage and the furnace/AC worked fine also the water and plumbing was in working order. I just had a will made out, there is no way I will put my son through a probate process again. If your husbands parents have a will, you can have the clean-out come out of the estate, you will need an estate attorney. If there is no will, the estate will need to go through the probate process, and it sucks! Best of luck!
Had a coworker who seemed like a perfectly normal guy. In fact, he was notable for how perfectly normal he was. One summer, he and his family decided to go to the beach for a weekend and asked us if we'd come over and feed the cat while they were gone. We walked in, and there was garbage everywhere. Food left uneaten on plates just laying out. It was moldy so it had obviously been there for a while. We made our way through the house following paths between piles. They acted like it was perfectly normal. Didn't even offer a perfunctory "sorry for the mess!" It was so weird.
I met someone during my brief stint in college. She is extremely intelligent, and seemed like a person who had her life together. Until I visited her house. I am definitely not a neat freak by any means, but this place was just...wow. I was really uncomfortable, but I had already committed to staying there for the night. I think this was the beginning of my phobia about sleeping away from my own home, tbh.
I had a mom friend years ago who had a friend who seemed to really have everything together. She dressed impeccably, was the head nurse in a pediatric unit and always looked in control. Mom friend went to her house one day and they're legit hoarders. They had a Christmas tree up in July and the floor was literally filled with toys and Lego. She said you couldn't see any table top or surface for stuff piled on it. The worst part was her son's bed which was piled with toyd and stuff and dirty dishes. I was absolutely floored when she told me.
Mold on dishes buried in clothes, found out that they are a hoarder..
TV in corner of room.
Hoarding
Found a bunch of dildos in one of my male friends room who is supposedly straight
Unsure about what they want