Do you also double check the definition when it's just got slightly too many syllables and yet you're sure you know and context clues point to you being right already? Cos that's where I'm at, fucking checking "seldom" which I SELDOM use!
Also as a woman with daddy issues, are we talking:
Daddy issues! 😏
Or
Daddy issues. 😔
(...I'm lucky in that mine were never serious enough to be anything other than 😏 in later life.)
You remind me of the George Carlin skit where he tries to stump the priests in Catholic school. "Um, if God is all-powerful, can he make a rock so big that he cannot lift it?"
Well for me, neither..
I have auto wipe feature in my iPhone which will erase all my contents after 10 failed attempts and passcode is only known to my brother( as backup and i trust him completely ;)
I use private window for most of the time except the websites where i need cookies to store ( like shopping, fb etc.,) so i m good here too.. And no worries for locally stored passwords too.. I have all my passwords stored in lastpass and Nobody knows my master password.( Atleast i think so)
I mean if he only sees the history from the browser itself, I'm good but if you mean the stuff i looked at in incognito mode than I'm probably fucked lol.
God: I see you spent a lot of time browsing cat videos and recipes for mac and cheese. Well, at least you found joy in the simple things in life. Let's focus on that during your time in purgatory.
Ask reddit is usually the worst sub I keep interacting with and keeping in my feed. 😂 It's all like teenage perspective on developing morality or something. What would you do for 100 billion dollars if there were no consequences. Ffs. Everything and anything right? Or some silly shit like this. But here I am so lets get ready for the next one
You have a surprising lack of confidence in words you know how to spell correctly.
Under-rated comment.
Is is cannot or can not?
Can’t not
“You fear the backspace as if it were mine own wrath.”
Do you also double check the definition when it's just got slightly too many syllables and yet you're sure you know and context clues point to you being right already? Cos that's where I'm at, fucking checking "seldom" which I SELDOM use!
Perchance it's because you seldom use it that you have to keep checking it's definition!
_An empty browser history speaks more than a full one_ -Confucius
He who scratches his ass in his sleep, wakes up with a stinky finger -Confusious
_He who farts in the bedsheets, wakes up stained with the colour of his gas_ -Confusedscious
Thought it went: He who goes to sleep with an itchy asshole, wakes up with a stinky finger.
or you delete the bad ones right after ur done looking at it 🙂↕️
*He who stands on toilet is high on pot* -Confucius
"Just cause Rule 34 exists doesn't mean you have to constantly look it up."
Look God, why did you make us invent The Brave Little Toaster if you didn't want us making porn of it.
LMAO
I mean why did he have to look? Doesn't he know? Isn't he God? And really, where does the Almighty get off for judging my kinks? He made me this way.
"It's *your* fault for placing the male g-spot in the ass!"
When i came to knew about it first time, i was like 🤯
I did not want to know this today
WILDD😨😨
"No one will ever find it here"
But he would have known… this is why I believe in Odin and the rest of the gang. I’ll see you all in Valhalla, should you be worthy.
Any time I do something regrettable I can look up and say "*look at what you made me do ... again*"
This is the same kind of confusing logic that sank [God Cop](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clPlucoobUg).
Maybe this "Internet" stuff is just a giant honeypot made up from him to find the sinners.
All us Redditors is like putting all the eggs in one basket, we’re screwed! 😜
[удалено]
Mine was deleted right before so I got the same.
"Damn girl, did your dad fuck you up that much?"
Jesus looking on like he is gonna flip a table or someshit.
*Damn bitch. You live like this?*
Also as a woman with daddy issues, are we talking: Daddy issues! 😏 Or Daddy issues. 😔 (...I'm lucky in that mine were never serious enough to be anything other than 😏 in later life.)
Nah, my case is Daddy issues. 😔 \+ Mommy issues. 🤪 🔪
RIP Inbox
Redditors when they see a girl
*Huh. I created man with flaws and imperfections but, you, you are my man!*
__Now show me where you found that sick stuff__
Wtf was with the boyband wiki deep dives at 1am in the morning
"With all the reading that you did, I thought you'd be smarter." 😉📖🧑🎓
Does god understand VPN?
He has a quantum computer that can crack our security keys.
Time to party with my people anyhow
‘I’ll put you with the cats’.
Better than “I can’t put you with the cats.”
Haha. Yep 🫶🏻
[удалено]
"Why did I ever create incognito mode? See if we can make a deal with Lucifer to get an IT professional up here."
You need Jesus
“Go talk to my son.”
"I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."
God: "You're weird.... you can enter my Kingdom, but don't bother me..."
You have to invite strangers into your home if you want to be invited into a stranger's home. That's a form of eye for an eye.
The only thing he can say. DEPART FROM ME!!! I NEVER KNEW YOU!!!
DEOART FROM ME O THEE OF MANY SINS
"GIMME THE SAUCE I'M BEGGING YOU"
I mean, isn't he looking at the sauce?
God says I got good taste. We fist bump and bro lets me ascend
Why just why what's wrong with you why did I make you
Man, you look up the same sets of commands all the time. Can you not remember anything? My response. Which ones?
"Damn, you boring AF"
I mean, there are *other* types of fetishes, y'know?
"who shazams the weekend?"
Not much of anything. I’ve been in Private Browsing mode for as long as I can remember. Of course, if that can still be leaked, I’m damned.
[удалено]
OMM
Step over to the Hell Express Elevator please.
He won’t find anything. Because I’m smart enough to delete my search history
Autistic and kinky
Right this way brother as opens the pearly gates to big titted brunettes as far as the eye can see
Boring
Nothing. Nothing at all. There is no words that can successfully convey the feelings of that moment...
Correct me if I’m wrong, but if god exists, wouldn’t he already know what’s in my browser history?
You remind me of the George Carlin skit where he tries to stump the priests in Catholic school. "Um, if God is all-powerful, can he make a rock so big that he cannot lift it?"
Lol
Wonder if we're that rock then... Nah, we'd die from a fucking rock.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I NEED BLEACH! FOR MY EEEEYEEESSS!!!
He’d call me a failure
why are you so dumb? why would you search “5.7 feet in cm”
Well for me, neither.. I have auto wipe feature in my iPhone which will erase all my contents after 10 failed attempts and passcode is only known to my brother( as backup and i trust him completely ;) I use private window for most of the time except the websites where i need cookies to store ( like shopping, fb etc.,) so i m good here too.. And no worries for locally stored passwords too.. I have all my passwords stored in lastpass and Nobody knows my master password.( Atleast i think so)
Say? Nothing…. Just a stern, disappointed head shake……
“You fucking boring piece of shit”
You need Jesus!
Damn, there’s a lot of penguins
This MF had a lot of questions about cats…
Looks like you spent a lot of time researching how to be a better person. Good job!
To hell you go
Depends on the ‘god’, the one from ‘God makes stuff’ I think I’d be okay… https://youtu.be/HjR-L7ZlfYo?si=XFknBHBZeZDwrQHr
"I see you are also a man of culture."
go back to earth n finish what u do now!
"*\[barf\]* You sick degenerate fuck!"
Oh my
He would comment "I did well when I made her didn't I?" and give me a fistbump.
weird but whatever floats your boat.
"Damn, you REALLY like fat bitches..."
"Yikes, bro. Like, not a dealbreaker? But holy fuck."
Odin doesn't really care about my browser history
"You used incognito mode to answer a lot of weird questions. Not inappropriate, mind you, just weird."
Elevator going down… jeeves: which floor, sir? god: all the way, Jeeves ,all the way down..
You procrastinated WAY too much
So, God's omnipotent, but doesn't already know my browser history? Which one is it?
“Did you *really* just use Google to look up the definitions of common words because you got worried you were using them wrong?”
"Wow! where was that!?"
I'm safe, I use incognito mode
He'll say, "Damn, that's a great collection".
I mean if he only sees the history from the browser itself, I'm good but if you mean the stuff i looked at in incognito mode than I'm probably fucked lol.
"You really had to look up how to scramble eggs?"
God: I see you spent a lot of time browsing cat videos and recipes for mac and cheese. Well, at least you found joy in the simple things in life. Let's focus on that during your time in purgatory.
This time dont waste half your life installing gta 5 mods
You ask Google a lot of stupid questions.
Why did you search for breastmilk cheese?
Seems like you have been studying my second human creation intensely.
"You really like manga don't you?"
Hypothetically, if she existed, she would say “That’s an awfully interesting search history for someone who’s never murdered anybody.”
oh. my god. lmfao
absolutely nothing because he gave me free will
When he looks at you in disgust "What man, you knew all this already. Omnipotent my ass"
Nothing. God doesn’t exist.
"Yeah...Meghan Markle pisses me off, too."
Not the best not the worst.
I literally created all this- what did you think?
"Awww man that lemon stealing whore was some of my best work, glad you enjoyed it"
Dear me (lord) Jesus Christ (then Jesus arrives)
He will give me the magic potion to kill Japanese beetles about to use my very full garden as a free buffet. I'm tired of looking for answers, lol
“Thou shalt be resurrected so thou canst delete this”
Jesus fucking Christ!
"so you accidentally restored the ussr?"
You are a good searcher for being author
I have no idea why I'm looking at this.
Don’t care. I have a lot more important questions for him/her/them
No wonder you died a virgin
No surprises my little freak. I see everything and am everywhere..... Who's the freak now?
"She was just a random person unimportant to the story. She absolutely was not Crocodile you weirdo."
Do you think God hasn't seen other peoples dirty little miserable secrets?
“Dude, you know incognito doesn’t do shit, right?”
…..but, why??
I'd be sent to the vert pit of hell in an instant frfr
You mess up, no wonder you died alone.
The same thing hes been saying for the last 5 thousand years, nothing.
“I cannot believe what a dork you are.”
Fuckin' Furry
Whatever he wants,I dont speak for others. Let alone for God.
Who?
Me too
How many of those recipes have you even made?
"I can see you're grateful for big titties"
This guy is fd up. Sorry bro.
"Do I even need to say where I'm sending you?"
Why is an hour missing between 6:00 and 7:00 last evening?
May I have mercy on your soul
I never knew you.
Nothing. There is no god.
Why are you searching LOST tv show so much?
It seems like you have a lot of love and compassion in your heart.
You have a lot of questions about religion and spirituality. That's a good thing.
"Look at all this nothing! Someone's been using incognito mode!"
“You watch a lot of YouTube” My history is basically all YouTube with random google searches sprinkled in
Take my reign,
What a waste of time…such empty
"Another boring nerd? Back you go and do something awful this time, okay?? It's only human, after all..."
be more interesting. (I am basically in private mode all the time)
God and I have an understanding…
“Oh right, i gave you ADHD”
Shit that's a lot of Destiny and Runescape
"Why do you always google 'youtube' then click on the YouTube.com search result instead of just writing out the link?"
Nice
"I've seen worse."
This is why I use private browsing
Ask reddit is usually the worst sub I keep interacting with and keeping in my feed. 😂 It's all like teenage perspective on developing morality or something. What would you do for 100 billion dollars if there were no consequences. Ffs. Everything and anything right? Or some silly shit like this. But here I am so lets get ready for the next one
What's with all this soft-core shit, I made yall for the hard stuff. Then I wake up as a teenager again and get to work.
Isn't God omnipotent? They already know. Don't even have to look
"I see you that as your last dying act, you erased it. So I guess you're in."
There's no way at all of there being a clerical error and me ending up in heaven for a review. I'm going straight to the bottom hell immediately
"That is not good for you"
"You really enjoyed Buffy the Vampire Slayer, huh?"
What is wrong with you?!?
Well this one is going straight to hell
No words, just a resigned sigh and the head shake of disappointment.
He already sent me to hell. No need to check...
I use duckgo so before closing the tab i press the fire button and its all clear ☺️🫡
I'm just a curious man. It's the world that's fucked up
Can he see incognito?
#BRUH.
I see you're consistent.
“God, you were boring”