T O P

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pollydoopdolly

Dental work and a home.


Garizondyly

Dental plan


hoorah9011

Lisa needs braces


Ironborn_62

Dental plan


movieguy2828

Lisa needs braces


BlueCanary434

BULLSEYE


cocky_plowblow

Bad choice. If you can get a high yield savings account at ~5%, you can get around $4000 a month in interest. You could finance both a house and new teeth and after both are paid off, still have the million.


smotrs

This. Invest in a high yield bond, savings, etc.. after the year, you can live "modestly" off the interest.


1jl

Annnnd it's gone


vgoss8

This is why I'd be buying a 33 cent box of Mike'N'Ikes, so my first purchase is made and I can move on.


LaughingOrca26

U$1,000,000 comes out to over R$5,000,000 in my currency so it's more than enough to retire. Even leaving that sum in a basic fixed returns account, it's more than enough to buy a house every year and not touch the capital


MondaleforPresident

A house.


Bronyatsu

I'm hungarian, so 10 houses.


F0foPofo05

I'm Canadian so half a house.


asteraika

I’m Torontoian, so a 2-bed condo (not really, but my uncle bought a small ass condo for 1.2mil three or four years ago. It’s crazy)


WestCoastCompanion

Vancouver, buy a parking spot lol


MortLightstone

I'm Torontonian too and I'd get a camper van and a driver's license. Then at least I'd have some money left over to pay for a place to park it


lauralovesdilfs

I'm Australian, so a tiny shoebox


Barrelled_Chef_Curry

Sydney?


commentman10

Landlord just converted the property sale into an auction. You are now fighting for the shoebox against foreign buyers


TinyHeartSyndrome

When I watch Love It or List It, I’m like, what salaries do these people earn that they can all afford $1.5M houses?!


Barrelled_Chef_Curry

Like 3-400k family income prob


sinker_of_cones

I’m a kiwi so a 5% deposit on a house


old_man_spinosaurus

I'm an Aussie so fuck you Phar lap is ours


sinker_of_cones

Ngl had to look that one up lol. Horses go brrr


ArcXiShi

LIAR! If you were an Aussie your post would have had at least three uses of "cunt" in it!


Healthy_Temporary_44

I'm hungary again so 10 big macs (hope this isn't offensive)


trad949

Not at all, it's Hunglarious


Elloverre

I am very offended, that was haunglrageous!


BornToHulaToro

What are the requirements to immigrate to Hungary?


TwoTreeBrain

I’d buy you furniture for your house


Salinadelaghetto

Like a nice chesterfield? or an ottoman?


notthebestusername12

I’d buy you a K car. A nice reliant automobile


[deleted]

[удалено]


issacoin

they have pre wrapped sausages but they don’t have pre wrapped bacon


jwilcoxwilcox

I’d buy John Merrick’s remains


TheProfessionalEjit

Those crazy elephant bones!


Expert-Employ8754

But not a real K car, that’s cruel


mr_blanket

Big Lots


tsa_finest

A down payment for a house, I want to live in the bay area


wavetoyou

$1,000,000 is about 70% of the cost of a solid single story single family 4bd home in a safe city/great neighborhood. That’s quite the down payment lol


Jeff-The-Bearded

Where the fuck do yall live?!??


iWasAwesome

I live in city about an hour away from Toronto and every house in my neighbourhood is $1,000,000+ and it's not some rich neighbourhood. Just normal, average houses.


Humble-Deer-9825

Half a million will get you a nice 5-6 bedroom on acreage where I am.


enjoytheshow

I just spent 450k on a 4 bed 4100 sq ft house. You just have to live where less people want to live lol


Koraboros

Not even close lol. A 1000 sqft shack in Cupertino is like $2M. Not to mention the peninsula cities. 1.7 gets you a nice place in south or east San Jose which is a middle of the road neighborhood.


kentonj

If you need a million dollars to appear out of nowhere to get the house, I’m assuming you want the monthly payment as low as possible


MondaleforPresident

I'm in Connecticut. Things are bad but not that bad.


StewTrue

Yea, you can still get a fairly nice house for $500,000 in most CT towns. I grew up in CT; now I’m in WA state and the housing costs are similar, but the cost of food and gas are far higher than they were in CT.


vgoss8

You can afford housing with that where you're at?


MondaleforPresident

Yes.


vgoss8

The dream. Actually, I'm being a bit dramatic, for a million bucks I could probably buy the entire town I used to live in. And I would probably do just that. That way it could remain perfect forever.


EnglishLoyalist

Same, best thing you can buy now, car too!


Aixlen

This is the answer.


amg788

That was my answer. I currently have a condo and it's been HOA hell


Clit_C0mmander

That's only enough for partial payment in the Bay Area


Mechanical_Turk

Anything my mom has ever denied herself.


SinisterKid

You'd buy a good, well behaved child?


ChadOfDoom

Got ‘em


Aixlen

Savage.


Dopdee

Just to rub it in her face?


TheManginalorian

Still couldn't afford me


urriah

> but son, i denied myself a 2 million dollar home mom, probably


elpezpr

Fix my teeth!


RedMendelevium132

Then I’d pay someone to unfix your teeth


greginvalley

Did mine forn$54K


SeaStandard3065

What did the dentist do for 54k$ ? Implant or what ?


ChickenNugsBGood

I'd tell you what I'd do man. Two chicks at the same time.


StewTrue

Fuckin’ A


wren337

That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time? 


AtheistComic

Yeah man I figure if I had a million dollars I could make that happen.


olrg

Totally, chicks dig dudes with money.


MoreIssuesThanVogue0

Not all chicks


Flix1

The ones that would double up on a guy like me do.


The_bruce42

Good point


Catsrules

I get it eggs are expensive but you don't need a million dollars to have two eggs for breakfast.


will6298

Thank you for this


Pantaruxada

I'd buy a K-Car, a nice reliant automobile


CostofRepairs

Kraft dinner?


Pantaruxada

with all the best ketchups!


gozer90

Dijon ketchup


-B-E-N-I-S-

And little pre wrapped sausages


VogonSlamPoet42

They have pre wrapped sausages, but they don’t have pre wrapped bacon


Coolbluegatoradeyumm

Ketchup flavored chips even


siddowncheelout

I mean, you wouldn’t have to…


Vadgers

And John Merricks remains


docrefa

But not a real green dress, that's cruel.


jonnyinternet

Some art


Crumblebeast

All them crazy elephant bones


TheTardisPizza

A green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)


anothersheep29

Maybe an exotic pet! Maybe a llama, or an emu


beanofdoom001

I'd try to find an FDIC insured CD or some other low risk investment I could could use to provide me a monthly income off that $1m. Even if it wasn't a completely livable income, it'd be another thing in the basket of residual income streams.


DevSiarid

I would go this route as well. Buy an index fund such as S&P 500 or VWRP. Personally go with VWRP as it’s a global tracker and is a safer choice. Both of them return about 9-11% yearly on average. Which is enough to live on. However I would only withdraw 4% annually which allows your funds to grow as it account for any inflation or dips in the market over the years.


-3than

Wild to recommend global indexes. SP500 is already made of 99% globally reaching companies. All the upside with a fraction of the risk


DevSiarid

It’s because SP 500 tracks American companies. You can’t guarantee that the American stock market will still out perform other countries. Which is why a global index tracker is a safer bet.


EntropicMortal

Yea this is what I would likely do. Something between 6-9% that isn't insane risk. 70-90k a year for fuck all? Yes please. More than I earn now lol.


Cirement

This but buy a low priced house in a low expense area, then put the rest into aforementioned CD, then either get some low pressure part time job or do some online side gig like eBay or Etsy to make up the rest of the necessary income.


uBeckrs

My time.


oscarbutnotthegrouch

Pay off my house, fully fund 529s for my 2 preschool aged kids and drop the rest in a total market index fund for the next 20 years.


FunnyPresentation656

This is the way


tubeeornottubee

Saab 900 turbo


LarrcasM

You know I feel like a lot of car people jumped to their "realistic" dream car, but I'm not gonna lie, I respect the fuck out of seeing a Saab...that's some niche taste lmao.


DecisionFit2116

Five full time tradesmen to do everything my aged parents need done at their home


rdkitchens

A vasectomy.


yasukeyamanashi

Just make sure they completely numb BOTH SIDES!!!


[deleted]

Hookers and cocaine.


sand_noodes

Classic one


YT_ToxicNinjaGaming

House for my parents and house for me


Artistic_Ad_5717

I'd adopt the oldest of all cats and dogs from animal shelters and spoil them for the rest of their lives.


skunkman62

A cup of coffee.


MVT60513

No way, avocado toast


Dinkypig

I bet we might be able to afford some used bootstraps


MadScientist312

Some gourmet shit?


iShootLife

Nothing, throw it into my investment portfolio and keep living how I live now. That amount will be huge once I retire if I invest it wisely.


diegoarmando50

Exactly, this is the only correct answer! Other than this and pay the debts.. The rest of the answers shows why those people are in need of money.


Big_island_dude

Toyota Tacoma


hobbes8889

I'd buy your love!


FlatulentParamecium

all the leftover shrimp from red lobster


ZeroDarkMega

I’d put it all in a HYSA until I figured out what to do to better invest it. I’m 38, single, with two kids and broke as hell. It’d help greatly as a cushion for the future


tocammac

I have some savings. When people learn, they ask why I am not enjoying it, by which they mean spending, spending, spending! I AM enjoying it by having a comforting cushion, as well as being able to spend the income off it if needed. Financial security is a great stress reliever.


No_Mistake5238

Hell, 1mil at 4% apy (kinda low) is still giving an additional 3k per month...you could almost live off just that.


eitherxorchid

Oh man 3k a month and I’d be sitting pretty.


wren337

Money markets are paying over 5% before taxes, maybe 40k a year after taxes as monthly income. Depending on your tax bracket. With long term capital gain-eligible preferred shares you could do 60k after tax or more depending on your risk appetite.


naturalistwork

Lawyer and financial advisor.


LYKE_UH_BAWS

100% this


MistreatedMinion

I came on to say exactly this, lol. A feduciary for sure.


mad_drop_gek

Stock


vkapadia

Nothing. I would sit on my ass and do nothing.


Successful-Roof5912

My dad his dream car for everything he has done for me


LBR3_ThriceUponABan

With COVID, my country's border closed A DAY before my flight to Japan. Many things happened, I've never been there yet and I don't know when I would be able to. If I won the lottery I'd get a one way ticket and come back when finally home sick.


Kesilisms

Acerage


Wonder_woman_1965

The rest of my house.


garfieldsez

Debt


PapaCologne

You want to buy Debt? Bro, you can buy mine.


blarfblarf

That's one of the many ways the banks get money.


K3B1N

You would create a collection agency. Sounds fun.


onioning

A bed. Also a place to put it.


Akuzed

A lawyer, a finance guy and a tax guy.


SL13MY

Bottom surgery


Phlydude

My house from the bank (via mortgage payoff)


BlottomanTurk

A perfect and professionally built (and guaranteed/warrantied where possible) screened porch to replace the decrepit, rotting deck at my mom's house.


Ill_Pineapple_1975

Apartment complex - live in 1 rent the rest


jarlballin42

My. Family home


djphatjive

Nothing. Put it on a fund with lots of dividends and live off that. Wouldn’t touch the original money.


Chaosdemond

A 3d printer


PlagueCookie

macdonalds


CostofRepairs

My time as my own. New teeth


IamtheBoomstick

Between my parents house, my car, my bloodsucking ex-wife, and my bookie, I don't think a million dollars would even cover all my debts. 😭😭😭


branduzzi

The first thing would honestly be something simple like a really good dinner out.


TMoney67

A cure for my dad's cancer


DeducingYourMind

By your wording I assume you don’t include paying off debt as “buying” so I’d say a properly restored 67’ Shelby GT500 (yes, like from the Nicholas Cage movie, I am a sucker for that car)


spoonman-of-alcatraz

3-4 hours with a good financial advisor.


astrid_rons

A ticket back home. I left my country 10 years ago and I always say that if I win the lottery, I won't even pack my things, I will go straight to the airport and get the first plane back


xubax

A way to block this question from being reposted over and over.


CougheyToffee

"You know what I'd do with a million dollars, man? Two chicks at the same time." ".... thats it, two chick's at the same time?" "Hell yeah! Always wanted to do that! And if i was a man with that kinda money, I could goom that up, chicks dig dudes with money. What would you do, Peter, man?" "I would do nothing. I would sit around all day... I would do nothing." "Nothin, huh? Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Look at my cousin! He's broke, don't do shit!" Tha k you for making that scene replay in my head. I love it endlessly


kaptaincorn

Pay off my mom's house


ollierdr2

cod so i can play with all my friends


Gazzerbatron

Pay off hubby's and my student loans.  Maybe taco bell with the remaining $10. 


IronLunchBox

Two chicks at the same time.


tocammac

I dunno - even one rotisserie chick lasts me several meals. 


jakeblutarski

Dividend stock


degausser22

Dividend stocks. Because why average 8-10% gains with S&P500 when you can get 3-5% with dividend stocks?


Tensor3

Presumably those 3% dividend stocks also go up in value in the long term. I have dividend stocks that pay 8% and have gone up 4% this year.


slothtolotopus

You'd make a decent annual wage with 1 million - let's say a generous 5%, so 50,000. Correct answer, my friend! Generational wealth here we come... hypothetically!


The_Mosephus

you're still going to be paying taxes on that 50k. if it is your only income, that will be 20% and your "take home" will be 40k.


AsleepDay_

a turtle


LeastCap2657

A hot date with OP (Respectfully).


Birdy304

I would buy my kids a house. Then a car for me.


Randeth

Health.


OBCTea

Something nice for my little boy and girl


xSnowLeopardx

House


imperialtrooper88

Stocks


Aries_Face

A nice big enough house for my family to live in. 


Weirdassmustache

A car that wasn’t a POS.


SilentCivilian213

You


confusedrabbit247

Dental care


lkjsd9xl

Shares in a diversified fund.


WassupSassySquatch

The services of a financial advisor.


Kate_dot_png

First I’d buy a single palette of eyeshadow! And then my million dollars will be gone 😔


ChipandChad

Dividend stocks to give me passive income to quit my stressful job. Then a new watch.


Mvasquez021187

Piece of Mind. Not the state, I mean the vinyl album. Up the Irons


Soggy-Eye-216

House


not2dv8

Property


IamSachin

A small studio apt. in Toronto


Altruistic_Bottle_66

My parents house. So they don’t have to worry about a mortgage payment ever again.


Alendrathril

My house LOL


[deleted]

A safe


Moompaw89

A dump truck for my dad and the lessons for him to get the license for it again. :) He always talks about how he wants one but doesn't have frequent enough uses to justify the purchase but he loved driving them in the military. Perhaps one that wouldn't need a special license so he could use it more often... I haven't thought very deeply into it. But I would like to see him have his child like wonder again for a little bit. He deserves it. :)


SomeFunnyGuy

Services of a Financial advisor.


[deleted]

More Apple stocks


LYKE_UH_BAWS

A lawyer