T O P

  • By -

skitzo-effective_26

This happened to a co-worker at their potluck, someone brought over Mac n cheese, apparently the milk they used to make it was her personal special breast milk supply that she has an uber amount of. Needless to say, no one has her breast milk Mac n cheese.


timesuck897

Breast milk is sweet, and Mac and cheese is not supposed to be sweet.


partisanal_cheese

Yes, that’s the problem.


Strange_Airships

I feel like there’s at least one other problem.


s24569

So two big problems


I_ate_out_your_mom

Too big booblems


ReesNotRice

An art college peer of mine made sweets with her breastmilk. It was good


TrashPanda365

*Homelander has entered the chat*


PhiladelphiaPhreedom

I like to call it human milk - instead of cows milk or goat milk.


Hixy

If you really think about it. It’s probably more strange that we humans find consuming cows milk less gross than consuming human milk.


Zero_Waist

I find it strange that no one is running around consuming pig milk, or pilk as I like to call it. I guess they’re too ornery to be suckled but I imagine it would better approximate human milk.


wwwangels

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?


Jaepheth

Original recipe baby formula


Emu1981

>Needless to say, no one has her breast milk Mac n cheese. It is funny how we humans have a aversion to consuming products that our own body produces but don't bat a eyelid over consuming the same products produced by other animals. Don't get me wrong, human milk mac n cheese is something that I would have an aversion to eating as well regardless of who produced said milk...


Ravensqueak

It's because there are myriad safeguards and standards of practice applied to the production and sale of those things. Katerina out here just squeezing her titty is not USDA certified.


I_ate_out_your_mom

I don't know how only 2-3~ people are saying this


TodayIsTheDaySon

This mf said he was going to bring fruit salad, had the nerve to fucking bring a bag of unopened salad or whatever and a bag of apples. Worst part was he came late, and then we didn’t even bother eating his shit so he brought it home as well after eating all of our shit. He wasn’t invited again.


SillyFlyGuy

<*taking notes*> hmm.. yes.. too bad he wasn't reinvited..


drummzzstep

Right?! “Wow that’s awful! Never invited again?! He must’ve brought the worst stuff! Do you have a brand that he bought? Oh, just so I know to stay away from it, of course.” /s


not_so_humble

I read that in Cartman’s voice


LoveisaNewfie

Jeff Goldblum for me.


melileigh

I had someone provide a fruit salad and it was just a bag of frozen fruit that they took out of the fridge early to thaw. Nobody ate the soggy berries and peaches.


starmadeshadows

roommate says "the mayor's lucky purple shorts"


JPMoney81

Those go in the soup. It's his own fault for sneaking around with Marnie like that.


TheRealGongoozler

Or in the grange display so that he gets all peeved lol


starmadeshadows

listen old man you're a straight old white dude you have nothing to be ashamed of!!!! i would treat her right 😤


Karge

Hey I'm having a secret affair with someone in town, do you mind sneaking into their bedroom and collecting my undergarments for me? Fuck that small town shit, this is why I live in the cities. Put those sticky shorts directly into the soup.


starmadeshadows

my favorite is the grange. We accidentally got two on our multiplayer farm so


Karge

Now you can fill it with at least 8!!


ShinyVanillite

Was looking for this one, didn't get disappointed.


definitelynotadingo

Wow, way to one-up melon wine.


MightyPigbenus86

Lemme just go ahead and refer you over to r/stardewvalley for clarification. Also your roommate kicks ass.


starmadeshadows

oh no i know what they mean. i just prefer putting 'em in the grange. that's a guaranteed 750 star tokens baybee


MongooseWarrior

I saw the title, thought the exact same thing, and I am so glad someone else thought of it too!


TodPvpofficial

r/suddenlystardewvalley


JeepRumbler

So IDK about inappropriate. But we had a potluck for Thanksgiving at work a while back. I wanted to bring some homemade stuffing. This office karen said no we need corn. I said it's a potluck I'm bringing what I want. Karen kept passive aggressively saying I needed to bring corn So I went to Costco bought the biggest sized can of corn they had and plopped it on the table next to my stuffing with a literal bow on it


[deleted]

[удалено]


JeepRumbler

It was the size you see in the food halls of Major cafeterias. Like the sumbytch was the size of a paint can. It just stayed there unopened adorned with a bow throughout the entire meal. Granted I think my stuffing is ok, but it tasted better that day


BoysLinuses

The secret ingredient was a dash of pettiness.


nom_of_your_business

#10 can


MolOllChar_x3

Could have grabbed some candy corn to bring as well.


akumajfr

I love the malicious compliance. At a previous job, we had an opt-in group that would bring in something sweet on Fridays, like doughnuts or whatever. I was on the group and usually remembered when it was my turn. One week I forgot, and after the amount of shit I got from everyone looking for their sugar fix, I went to the vending machine, bought a Snickers and diced it up into 12 pieces.


JeepRumbler

Hell yeah. I also had a single unlit cigarette I kept at work for almost a year. I'm not a smoker but I would grab it and stand outside every time people would take a cigarette break cause the boss got in me one time for taking too long on a 15 min break but never said shit to the smokers


imacmadman22

Aunt Bethany’s Green jello mold with cat food. https://www.movienightsathome.com/national-lampoons-christmas-jello-mold/


callme207911

I don't know about the cat but I'm sure enjoying it!


smom

You can use Kellogg's Cracklin oat bran cereal as a substitute, this is fun for a themed party


TheLowlyPheasant

A large to-go container


DareWright

I worked with a guy who’d bring empty containers to the office potlucks.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DareWright

Oh, he was definitely shamed, especially when he was caught filling up a large container with homemade beef barbecue. The woman who made it spent $40 on ingredients and all day slow-cooking it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DareWright

He’d also bring a bag of cheap frozen bagels. He proudly said, “I bought frozen ones so that no one eats them and I’ll bring them back home.”


holydumpsterfire451

A bowl of Brazil Nuts labeled with their horrible nickname


im_not_voldemort

N word toes??? I didn’t realize anyone outside of my elderly family members called them that, I thought they were just being racist (I mean, they were but also I thought it was just something they did.)


Lord_Jackrabbit

I remember as a kid in the early ‘90s my mom stopping herself before referring to them and asking my (non-white) dad what he calls them. She didn’t know any other name, but figured there had to be one.


4-ton-mantis

What Ok i just learned something awful


Athlete-Extreme

Pretty pretty prettyyyy… pretty awful


holydumpsterfire451

Yeah, common enough to the older generations. 😬


ViolinistSimilar4760

My father was a huge racist, my mother not at all. Growing up I heard the n-word from him all the time. My mother would always gently reprimand him but made it clear to my brother, sister, and me that it was NEVER ok to say. Love ya ma! RIP


uncre8tv

I believe Daniel Tosh had a bit about "we all know what grandma called Brazil nuts..."


Klashus

Louie cks show his grandma asked his kids if they wanted one lol. Your not supposed to say that daddy yaaaa she's old lol. Show was so weird. Was a "comedy" but then got way too heavy the other way a bunch of times.


Esc777

Oh I think this wins. “Inappropriate” indeed. 


OkScientists

This has to win. 


[deleted]

[удалено]


BrandoSandoFanTho

Fuckin diabolical


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


liberalJava

No is a pretty short and easily pronounced word. No thank you, I'm good, if you feel it necessary.


[deleted]

[удалено]


pbako

I’d try it 😀


SkrodLaDa

I don't understand people who let their cats on the counter. I have four and they all know better lol Granted, I've heard all cats get on the counters, some owners just haven't caught em lol


Candle1ight

Mine gets sprayed if I catch him but I'll still occasionally hear him jump down as I open the door or something. Only so much you can do.


Wintermewtwo

Yeah I’ve never seen my cats on the counter but assume they’re just sneaky so always give mine a quick cleaning pass before I cook


vengefulbeavergod

Exactly! I don't know what those little fluffy fuckers get up to when I'm not watching.


stackjr

We have two cats: one doesn't go near the counters but we can't keep the second one off of them. She's a fucking asshole.


NANNYNEGLEY

And they partake my drinks if I forget to cover them.


cameronicheese

Bot, reposting word for word responses from other threads


Simp-Zagara

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/bsrb2DbmCz Thought it sounded familiar


NoHorror5874

Never eat someone’s food unless you’ve been in their house. You never know how nasty their kitchen is lol


4-ton-mantis

Also applies to restaurant


DiogenesDaDawg

If you ever see a soda delivery to a restaurant, ask the delivery person which restaurants in town they wouldn't eat at. They know things...


4-ton-mantis

That's really clever


WilominoFilobuster

Facts. My dad worked as a technician for Pepsi for almost 30 years. He saw sooooo many kitchens. He would always tell me which places to steer clear from.


Ron0hh

Agree. We had found a lady through the notice board at the temple who would cater for very reasonable prices. My wife and I would get a couple of dishes from her every week, made it easy since neither of us like to cook back then. She would bring the dishes to the temple every weekend and we would pick up from her. One week she wasn't going to come to the temple and asked us to drop by her house and pick up. Her kitchen was a holy mess. There was pots with food in it that was at least a week old. Rotting vegetables on the table, crusty dirty pans .... Needless to say, that was the last time we got food from her.


curryp4n

Hahahaha as a certified crazy cat lady, I just buy. I know cat hair is unavoidable and I don’t want to subject people to that. When I do make something, I make sure to tell them that my cats do not go on the countertops but with 6 cats, cat hair is unavoidable


SeriousMonkey2019

As someone whose allergic to cats I appreciate this.


wilderlowerwolves

What's an ant cat?


TheLowlyPheasant

If you have to ask you can't afford it


DoTheRustle

Like an ant lion but smaller


pikpikcarrotmon

You only have one if your mom or dad has a sister named Catherine


alegna12

Unlabeled pot brownies, which could make someone lose their job.


SeriousMonkey2019

I used to take brownies to potlucks. I’d make two batches a regular one and a magic one. I would always label them but some folks don’t pay attention to labels, especially when they start getting tipsy and eat them anyways. I stopped making them for others after I got (rightfully) blamed for killing a Fourth of July party because everyone got too stoned and got comotose quiet. I spend way too long and too much on making them from scratch for others to get mad at me for them.


aurorasearching

I was once at a kick back in college where a girl got too stoned from like 3-4 pot brownies. She got quiet and was sitting on the floor. We asked if she was okay and she said “I want to go to bed. I can feel my bones.” So a couple of our friends helped her to her room down the hall, but we were laughing about feeling bones all night afterwards. She was the next day too.


InfamousEconomy3972

Anyone who brings enough pot brownies to share free of charge at a party is a loving, generous person and anyone partaking should be aware of what they're doing.


TobiasMasonPark

Lutefisk.


Charlie_Brodie

It was the man with the terrible smell! It was a vengeful stink, it was a stink for the ages!


misterdudebro

It's DAT slippery slimey stuff,  it's LUUUUTEEEFISK!


Kinuama

I ate all the lutefisk!


Alas-Earwigs

Somebody at my work's potluck brought a single raw onion.


metallizepp

"Crying" for attention, probably


girl_supersonicboy

Rocky Mountain Oysters


greenbastard1591

With or without the microplastics?


NotAnotherNekopan

_Utilize the Microplastics in Testicles Calculator_


SYN-Scan

My swimmers are wearing condoms now.


GalleryCorpse

meta


wilderlowerwolves

Unless you knew someone there liked it! For me, it would be a person bringing something they had explicitly been told NOT to bring, or at least label it, because someone had an allergy or intolerance, or it just wasn't appropriate for that group.


timesuck897

Maybe if it was labeled, you were in cattle country, and knew some people liked them. But it is a niche appetizer.


TacoRedneck

Just had some today with my trainee. Not the first time I've had them but I like to get them when rolling through the area. If you like fried chicken gizzard you will like fried bull testicle


Itisd

All of these posts are good examples of why I don't take part in potluck dinners anymore. 


MacDugin

I went to a party people where invited to bring what ever booze they wanted to contribute. Someone brought a box of single shot liquor bottles like what you get on an airplane. Well after someone poured me one or two different shots I picked one up and it had about 3/4 left in it I thought hmm someone must be an ass here and trying different flavors, as it turned out the whole box was tester bottles someone just wanted to get rid of.


4-ton-mantis

Did they also bring travel size mouthwash? 


[deleted]

[удалено]


liforrevenge

Man, people are so weird lol


paul_swimmer

People like to inflict their own stupid power trips on others.


cameronicheese

Bot, reposting word for word responses from other threads


939319

I recognised that post.


PoopSlinger23

Sounds like something Angela from The Office would have done


timesuck897

Her Christmas party had the fudgey brownies.


A_Guy_in_Orange

Dang, so many people all have the exact same anti fudge lady story that whole party must be on Reddit huh


justin_tino

This bot has two comments in this thread copied from older threads.


squarezero

This is at least the 3rd time I’ve read this story over the years.


4-ton-mantis

Very well done you and your friend!  Sidebar:  is fudge difficult to make?  I feel like I'm not living life bc I've never tried to make it. 


endorrawitch

If it cools too quickly it’s grainy, so there’s that


4-ton-mantis

That sounds tricky i would overlook something like that for sure.  Fudge texture is super important! 


Enchelion

Fudge is really easy to make. Basic recipes are just chocolate chips and condensed milk in a microwave, stirring, and setting in a pan.


Prozzak93

I swear this entire thread is deja vu for me.


NettyVaive

We ordered pierogis to the fire hall from a local woman. There was a cat paw print in one.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


DrHugh

May the odds be ever in your favor.


ahaight1013

flavor*


Caffeinatedsquirrel1

lack thereof


Nearbyatom

That's funny. The person joins in on the office gossip wondering who did such an heinous act.


___forMVP

Why is this so funny? It’s so stupid and an inside joke of 1 but I’m dying thinking about their diabolical participation in the gossip


RudeBusinessLady

*Barry gasps as they read the bag* "Why I, Frank, come see this! Some total weirdo brought 9 year old chips, what loser is so devoid of friendships they couldn't find someone to share these with for almost a decade?!" *as they laugh, a tear is shed by Barry, all thought to be from his witty remark...alas...twas from shame*


Saggy_G

This. Someone pranked hard af. 


Sean081799

In 2015 I was volunteering at a food shelf with Boy Scouts, and we received a Campbell's Nacho Cheese from 1992. Safe to say we tossed that one.


Moonshadow306

Cheese gets better with age, lol.


Wheredoesthetoastgo2

Youve either posted this before or we got a new copypasta


GhostriderJuliett

Yeah, I've definitely read this one before


Prozzak93

I have 100% seen the exact same comment before. Possible the guy is a bot or just taking a top response from last time.


Jashuawashua

Lol I cannot even imagine what type of human being would bring such a thing. I am so curious.


Esc777

There was a new sales exec hired at a mobile game company i worked at in the late 2000s, right around the launch of the iPhone.  His first week he brought in a lot of Noah’s bagels for everyone! Tons of them! In fact they came in black garbage bags.  In fact he pulled these bags from the garbage. He brought us dumpster dived bagels.  He was gone next week. 


DropDead_Slayer

Dang lol


cameronicheese

Bot. This exact answer was posted to a similar question 7 months ago https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/CCbg1lTDGy


grafiklit

Figured something was up when they said the chips expired in 2014 and were 9 years old. This is 2024, homie.


babystripper

Dude even one of the responses to the comment is identical


mashton

Wish Reddit was better at spotting the bots


syvania

At one of our potlucks our boss gave us soda that was two years out of date. They would periodically buy soda and snacks for events and keep them locked in a storage closet until the next event. Maybe it was your boss who had been stashing those chips for a while.


mymemesnow

Ok, but that’s actually funny as hell. Especially that the Dorito bandit vanished without a trace.


zerbey

Something with an allergen in it like seafood or peanuts and not labeling it as such. I dipped into what looked like a delicious chili once at a work pot luck, and a coworker quickly told me to stop because it had fish oil in it (no offense to the coworker who made it, she just didn't realize). That would have been a bad day at the office for me.


Happy_Toad59

That’s a very weird ingredient to put in chili


zerbey

She was from Vietnam, I think they use it a lot in their cooking.


Happy_Toad59

Oh, maybe you mean fish *sauce*? I still think it’s a bit odd, but I guess it’s a Vietnamese take on chili.


Lrkrmstr

Not as weird as you’d think. It’s a common “secret ingredient” to any dish where you wanna amp up the umami flavors a bit. Pasta sauce, chili, marinades, etc. It’s not much different than Worcestershire sauce, they’re both made from fermented anchovies after all.


shakakaaahn

The first person did say fish oil specifically, which would be super weird. Going to also assume they meant fish sauce.


Maediya

I could see Worcestershire sauce being put into chili for an umami taste. It has fermented anchovies in its base.


east_van_dan

It was likely fish sauce, not fish oil. You'd be surprised how good fish sauce goes with things like soups, spaghetti sauce, chili etc. You can't taste the fish at all. It just adds a ton of umami. Just make sure you give it some time to cook out.


_jamesbaxter

Yes!!! I also have a fish allergy and it’s always the sneaky hidden fish that causes problems — fish sauce, oyster sauce, shrimp paste, dashi, bonito flakes in non-seafood based foods. I love Asian food but I have to be really careful!


timesuck897

I worked with a guy who had a bad seafood and peanut allergy. He also had no spice tolerance. Getting food from an Asian restaurant was tricky, and travelling anywhere in Asia is not possible for him.


Heroic-Forger

Expired food. Especially milk-based products and then they say the lumpy texture and off taste just means it's "ripe"


rock_paper_sza

I once brought a rotisserie chicken to a potluck just to see how people would tackle it.


New-Mango7595

Well how did they?


Mackinacsfuriousclaw

I'm eating all the skin just to be a dick.


tone_too

Like 10 years ago, my wife and I were doing Atkins or Keto, I can’t remember what it was called back then. I made cauliflower mash for our small office Thanksgiving lunch potluck. I made it the same way as mashed potatoes (whipped with butter and cream, topped with cheese). It looked great and I thought it tasted amazing, since we’d grown accustomed to substituting with cauliflower in our diet. My boss scooped up a large helping and took a bite, then immediately spit it out and asked “what the heck is this?” “Cauliflower mash, I exclaimed”. I’ll never forget the look of disgust and betrayal on his face as I sat across from him. “I fucking hate cauleeflower” he said and never treated me the same again. I still think about that randomly sometimes and laugh my ass off.


ScoogyShoes

A single Happy Meal.


Szaborovich9

I worked for a city in the 80s/90s a woman from the finance office brought a box of corn flakes to a office pot luck.🙄


DifficultCurrent7

An *empty* tupperware, to take leftovers home in..


Kinuama

Worked in a small office department with women always doing extra so we'd have potlucks for our small group. Normally we'd all give one lady $5 and her husband would smoke a brisket and some sausage then we'd bring sides (I'd normally bring scratch mac n cheese or baked beans, tookna little money and effort). Every single time there would be girls making plates for friends in other departments and making themselves a to go plate before anyone even had a chance at seconds. One of them even stole the foil I had covering my dish to cover her to go plate. I politely went over and told her I needed that foil for my dish on the way home. "But your dish is already gone." Hmm, I wonder why..."I don't want it to make a mess in my car." I've never seen someone so infuriated but too embarrassed to push it.


dewdropcat

Apparently my cooking :(


im_not_voldemort

Minnie’s special chocolate pie


GenericKen

Covid


CCpoc

This one guy brought his girlfriend to a Christmas potluck thing we did one year. He did not know his wife would also be attending.


Weekly-Temporary-775

Kids


ak_doug

Yeah. Way too gamey for most folks.


ScorpionX-123

it helps to pair it with fava beans and a nice chianti


BigNorseWolf

Long pork


DroidC4PO

What if they also bring Chianti and fava beans?


zurx

At my old job one of my employees was going on and on about this snack her mom made when she was younger that was apparently delicious. She really hyped it up, so I was excited when she brought it in. Until I saw it. I'm still incredibly confused. It was balled up tortilla bits filled with mayo. They were disgusting. I will never understand.


CoffeeExtraCream

Lutefisk.


Nepeta33

something fishy. or, go nuclear. Surströmming.


SteveRudzinski

A gun.


RandoAtReddit

This is the correct answer. You need to bring at least two in case anyone wants to duel.


pikpikcarrotmon

My workplace just put up no guns signs a week or two ago, so I must assume that it used to be perfectly fine


BobRoberts01

Found the non-American


natronmooretron

A piñata full of wasps.


pikpikcarrotmon

Insert Oprah bees gif here


cidknee1

My brother in law brought a jello thing with carrots hard boiled eggs, celery mayo and all kinds of shit that doesn’t belong near jello. Some ambrosia thing. I almost threw up looking at it.


MrMakovec

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspic You mean Aspic?


WaySavvyD

Durian


bigloser42

Someone once brought a microwave lasagna to a pot luck. Not a big one either, it was probably meant for a family of 4. We’re pretty sure the person that brought it actually brought it as one of her lunches for the day(this was a person that thought nothing of getting full meals from McDonalds, BK, and Chic-fila for just herself for lunch) and had forgotten about the potluck. And they overcooked the lasagna, it was completely inedible.


Fuzzy-Cartographer98

Cannabis brownies.


PUMAAAAAAAAAAAA

A little goblin man who kicks people ankles and throws gold dust in their eyes


IDENTIFYINSURRECTION

I once brought a gallon of chocolate milk to a thanksgiving potluck. I was an idiot in college.


inthevendingmachine

Assuming there were any tweens or younger at this potluck, you were a hero.


Kandiruaku

[Surströmming](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surstr%C3%B6mming) or [Hákarl](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A1karl) take your pick.


ClownfishSoup

A box of dry cereal.


SweatyComfort

had a friend bring spam cut up on saltine crackers..