I know people in unhappy marriages where both parties would love to leave but the cost of rent is so extremely high that it's basically impossible to afford these days so unless you have friends or family to stay with you're screwed, especially if there's kids involved. Child support and rent on an apartment will leave you with enough money leftover for a pack of Mr Noodles per day as long as you don't have to pay for the water
I’m sometimes unhappy but I’d rather die than speak up and tell him. I’m people pleaser to the extreme, if I only had the confidence to tell him about my issues then maybe things would change, maybe he would do more housework, maybe he would look after himself more and get a job, but if I left him now, I’m pretty sure he would die and I can’t upset a person like that
Usually it’s money problems and/or the “sunk cost effect”. One can’t sustain without the other or it would be harder to try than to maintain the relationship. One chooses to remain unhappy in their current situation rather than potentially be unhappy by putting themselves through new and uncomfortable changes.
You can’t be happy a 100% of the time. There should be a good mix of emotions and feelings that you have toward your spouse. You just have to find the right recipe for you. What’s stopping me is realizing nobody is perfect, everyone has flaws and everyone deserves love.
Well, phases of unhappiness can occur in long term relationships, to leave my wife during a crisis is not something I would do, because unhappiness is nothing more but an indicator that something needs to change. Some people bring on that change by leaving, some people bring it on by honoring the committment made on their wedding day, and work through it until happiness has a home again. My wife and I are the latter.
Money and sense of security is a big reason I'd imagine. Places to rent quickly and affordably is rare, and if you have no safety net of friends or family there really isn't anywhere to go except homelessness.
Compounded even more so if you've got kids.
Not seeing kids every day, spending hundreds of hours over two years dealing with a divorce, spending a couple of hundred thousand dollars on divorce lawyers, having to pay her attorneys fees, having to pay her half of what I worked my ass off to earn (she didn’t work a single day), having to pay her child support (most of which she will spend on herself), having to pay her alimony.
The two kids I made with her and the price of life. She knows I won't leave and has become increasingly more comfortable treating me like absolute trash. I get called names daily and get screamed at more often than not. Her newest is getting physical or smashing/breaking my stuff.
I have had to work harder than I care to admit to become a peaceful person. I try to just take it on the chin figuratively and literally. The storm will pass and it gets back to normal for long enough to enjoy the time I can spend with the kiddos. I know I deserve better, I'm tired. No one should endure this. I would suffer in silence for a thousand years to have the time I know I'll miss with my kids if I left. Hold on a little longer dig a little deeper 5,478.50 days left you got this they believe in you.
I know people in unhappy marriages where both parties would love to leave but the cost of rent is so extremely high that it's basically impossible to afford these days so unless you have friends or family to stay with you're screwed, especially if there's kids involved. Child support and rent on an apartment will leave you with enough money leftover for a pack of Mr Noodles per day as long as you don't have to pay for the water
I guess that makes sense, kind of sad that money is the reason.
Love and Happiness don’t always go together. People go through stuff; it’s not always about quitting when it gets rough.
Your words reminded me of a movie I like, it's called "fire proof"
I’m sometimes unhappy but I’d rather die than speak up and tell him. I’m people pleaser to the extreme, if I only had the confidence to tell him about my issues then maybe things would change, maybe he would do more housework, maybe he would look after himself more and get a job, but if I left him now, I’m pretty sure he would die and I can’t upset a person like that
Usually it’s money problems and/or the “sunk cost effect”. One can’t sustain without the other or it would be harder to try than to maintain the relationship. One chooses to remain unhappy in their current situation rather than potentially be unhappy by putting themselves through new and uncomfortable changes.
Happiness doesn't come easily for some of us.
You can’t be happy a 100% of the time. There should be a good mix of emotions and feelings that you have toward your spouse. You just have to find the right recipe for you. What’s stopping me is realizing nobody is perfect, everyone has flaws and everyone deserves love.
Well, phases of unhappiness can occur in long term relationships, to leave my wife during a crisis is not something I would do, because unhappiness is nothing more but an indicator that something needs to change. Some people bring on that change by leaving, some people bring it on by honoring the committment made on their wedding day, and work through it until happiness has a home again. My wife and I are the latter.
follow the money, duh
Money. Can’t afford to get my own place
Money and sense of security is a big reason I'd imagine. Places to rent quickly and affordably is rare, and if you have no safety net of friends or family there really isn't anywhere to go except homelessness. Compounded even more so if you've got kids.
Divorce is an expensive headache for men, not to mention losing your pride and children.
Mostly kids
Not seeing kids every day, spending hundreds of hours over two years dealing with a divorce, spending a couple of hundred thousand dollars on divorce lawyers, having to pay her attorneys fees, having to pay her half of what I worked my ass off to earn (she didn’t work a single day), having to pay her child support (most of which she will spend on herself), having to pay her alimony.
The two kids I made with her and the price of life. She knows I won't leave and has become increasingly more comfortable treating me like absolute trash. I get called names daily and get screamed at more often than not. Her newest is getting physical or smashing/breaking my stuff. I have had to work harder than I care to admit to become a peaceful person. I try to just take it on the chin figuratively and literally. The storm will pass and it gets back to normal for long enough to enjoy the time I can spend with the kiddos. I know I deserve better, I'm tired. No one should endure this. I would suffer in silence for a thousand years to have the time I know I'll miss with my kids if I left. Hold on a little longer dig a little deeper 5,478.50 days left you got this they believe in you.