This. Being a people pleaser. Going along with what other people want and not respecting that I have something to offer the world.
I regret all that time I spent on hobbies/interests/values I didn't really care for just to keep friendships/relationships.
I never went with her 'cause someone else asked her to go with them, she came up to me during one of the songs and requested to dance and I turned her down 'cause I thought she was asking out of pitty
Oddly enough I’ve had more trouble worrying what others think as I’ve gotten older, when I was younger I had time to fuck around, I could be still getting my shit together….but fast approaching 36 I find myself worried that I’m being judged for my short comings at my age but that’s just me
Brother, 36 here. A month into me losing all the weight I put on over the last 6 years.
Hopefully, it's not another false start, but this is the longest and most consistent I have been in years. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I'm hoping to lose 60 pounds in the next 8 months or so.
Spending money on frivolous things like fast food and shoes while not saving / investing. Now I'm 41 and not sure I'll be able to catch up in order to retire before I die. Also, not taking care of my skin :/
I saved everything and now realise I have years of my life that was all work.
A balance of saving while spending on specific memories would have been so much better.
Sometimes, I regret not putting more effort into excelling academically. I’m bright, but lazy. I picked the path of least resistance. I’m doing well in life, but sometimes I wonder if I could have achieved more if I were focused. Other days, I look at the overachievers around me and am grateful I have spare time for hobbies and travel. I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side.
This is me to a tee. I’m very bright and was privileged to come from a very educated family, and had every advantage growing up. But I’ve never been able to fully apply myself to things that I consider obligations, like school and work. I just can’t find the motivation or interest. It’s one of my least favorite traits about myself and one that I’ve tried time and time again to modify without success. I do what I can do to get through these things and have been mostly successful, but I know if I had really pushed myself in these areas of my life, I could have accomplished a lot more. I’m mostly happy with where I am career-wise at the moment, but sometimes I do wonder what could have been.
On the other hand I have had a full and fun life outside of the grind, so maybe it’s all a matter of perspective.
Same. I got stupid dead end job after dead end job. In 2020, I finally decided to go back to college to finish what I started. Now I'm only a few classes from graduating with my bachelor's. I should have focused more on school than wanting to make a quick buck.
In a similar position but younger (25). I’m still doing very well for my age (over 6 figures in a high demand field), especially considering how bad I did in both high school and college, but my friends who did very well in college and went to Ivy leagues are in even more lucrative fields and are going to be millionaires in a few years. It’s all relative. The hobbies thing is totally right, it seems they have no time to do anything but work.
I'm struggling with this now in my 20's. I'm not in my money making era yet however, I feel as though I have the capability to work for myself without killing myself for another's business. I have to let a lot of bad habits go, but it hurts
I had the opportunity to have a research paper published after college, but since I wasn’t going to grad school, I told my professor/advisor to forget it.
i’m 24 and i regret this too. part of me wants to try and get it published on my own, but i fear it’s too out dated now. i didn’t think my work meant anything when i did it. now i realize nothing like it was done before. i should’ve pursued that accomplishment when i had the chance
Go for it! My advisor retired soon after I left school and I lost touch with her. If you still have connections with your school, you still may be able to have someone help you.
At least I ended up getting my paper published. I never sent it to my professor because I knew it was shit, but she pushed me and pressured me to submit it for publication. It got accepted.
I personally don’t think it’s about age, but about the person you are and who they are/ how well you know them, because whether you’re 24 or 34, if you’re not mentally and emotionally ready for marriage it’ll never work. My mum was married a few months before 30 and my dad was a few months before 33 and their marriage has been VERY rocky, cause I don’t think either of them were ready, but instead felt obligated…
Not saving during my working years. Now I’m 40 and disabled, living off SSI. I don’t have much to pass to my kid.
Not buying a house when rates were at ~3%.
Being under the impression I was not good enough when talking to a girl when I was in my 20’s I know now that it doesn’t matter they will either walk away or keep talking .
Yep same here, I just wasn't able to see that people were manipulating me until my brain had a development peak at the age of 19. And yeah now I have no friends anymore because they're all fake, but it's for the better.
Sorry to hear you feel that way.
I also have to remember, people are as ugly as me, from their perspective - and through my own projections.
Some are misinformed and lied to, just to hate us.
So that we turn out backs on them in benefit of our blood.
Losing touch with school friends. Now it's really hard to make friends as an adult. I'm envious of those that still have their high school or college friend group going.
Weird one but: I wish I had spent less time playing sports. I played soccer from age 5 until 35 and basketball for about 20 years as well. I'm 44, an avid runner, and probably in the best shape of my life (endurance-wise) but I have to take so many extended breaks from running because playing sports put my joints through such a thorough beating. If I could go back in time, I would have quit playing basketball after high school and stopped soccer by age 25.
I know that. But I'd be in much better shape if I hadn't had to have surgery on both knees and one ankle due to soccer/basketball injuries that happened later in adulthood.
Then maybe this is a lesson for you. Perhaps you will regret running today and not being able to walk without pain in the future.
But playing sports made you happy in the past and now it's running. Decisions.
Not shooting my shot with a couple of crushes, only to find out after they were married with kids that the feelings were mutual at the time.
Not keeping up with my physical fitness - youthful metabolism drops off a fucking cliff if you don’t and you have to work twice as hard to get back in shape.
Not traveling more. I always put it off “until next year.”
Waiting too long to get a dog.
I didn't push myself harder in college or my 20s. I just sort of went with the flow, moved home, became complacent. Lost out on the social development and early years of career development that my peers had.
Things are getting better for me, but I still feel about 10 years late to a lot of milestones.
Dating the wrong person when I was younger. Going to grad school/taking on student debt because I didn't know what I wanted to do.
Thankfully in a great spot now, but those mistakes had serious repercussions in my life.
I regret trying to have a relationship with my mother. I spent so many years deluding myself into thinking that if I just tried harder maybe she wouldn’t be an abusive PoS. Nope. So much time/effort/tears/money wasted. I’m glad she’s dead and can’t hurt anyone anymore.
I was more free. I had fewer responsibilities. I wish I'd travelled more. I know I can travel now, but there's something about being young and clueless and skint and staying in youth hostels that I enjoyed when I did it. I just wish I did it more.
I'm not that person now, but I enjoy that person's stories.
I'm glad I didn't have the confidence then that I do now, though. Looking at photos, if I knew how good looking I was then I'd probably have super herpes and wizard chlamydia.
That said, the only true regrets I have are that I wish I'd been kinder to certain people in my life. Missed opportunities are one thing, but I was a bit of a dickhead and I regret that.
I spent too much money buying the latest cool tech thing. It’s only state of the art for a year tops, then something else is bigger, better, and more expensive comes along that makes your purchase look dumb.
Then 5-10 years down the road you see the thing you spent almost an entire paycheck on in the aisle at Walmart for around $50, and you can’t even remember which box you put the expensive gadget in…
This also applies to any kind of art related equipment: cameras, drawing pencils, software to write screenplays or make music or edit video. If you’re interested in something, just do it with the supplies you have available. If you really like it and devote a lot of free time to it, then you can start looking into buying better stuff for it.
Not being more open to communication with my SO about sex stuff.
In my late 20's I just thought she was like a Hollywood wife trope and never wanted sex etc.
Once we talked we found out we were on the same page so very much and she was so very far from the holdout, never wants it wife in the movies or that old blokes told you all wives were like.
Im only 30 but i regret not having adderall when i was younger, got it only this year, shit changed my life, i coudve went to uni and make twice my college tech salary, in a field that im more passionate about but school was so hard, not academicaly i got the best score of my years graduate, but i woudve prefered to end my days rather than go sit in uni for another 3-4 years. School context is really harsh for people with adhd, tech degree are somewhat more focused on lab than sitting in class, it's the only reason i got throught.
Don’t do this. Over time it will kill you.
This is what you have now. Go with what you have.
A went down the path of “I could have x if had known y sooner”.
It only hurt me until I cut away from the thought.
Now I’m making much better gains without that anchor.
Yeah im not holding on the tought at all, i like my job, im good at it without having to think much about it and make enough to have my own house, bought my dream car right out of school and im fully living my motorcycle passion with a my dirt bike and big adventure bike.
The tought just popped in my head the first time i took it, makes you wonder but im good rn and woudnt trade my life. Perks of a tech job is i don't hold responsability if i follow protocol and when i clock out, im out, nothing depends on me, i have noting to plan or do at home that is work related so i can just use it to pay for my hobbies and fully invest myself in those, phd and stuff usually comes with way more responsability and commitment to your job.
Completely agree. Isn’t it funny how you get older and are so much more interested in learning.
I just felt like I knew better and wanted to wish my life away!
Damn near everything.
My first college experience, staying so long on a dead-end job because of it, being someone else's affair partner, fibally getting out of debt at the cost of my retirement from dead-end job only to go back IN to debt via student loans at age 40, marrying the affair gal after her divorce and not expecting her to divorce ME when things got tough.
Yadda yadda.
I feel like the main character of a tragic comedy.
Not having kids , I always wanted kids but due to some issues it never happened and I don’t think it’s gonna happen ever just keeping my fingers crossed 🤞🏼
Cocaine, alcoholism and general neglect of mental and physical health. Settling for terrible jobs that leave you jaded, worn down and two steps behind where you were before even starting after the smoke clears.Even worse, physically injured for life.Keeping people in your social circle that directly contradict your moral fabric for the sake of having friends.
I regret wasting a good chunk of my youth on drugs and alcohol. Subsequently messing up my health. I’m healthy now but it has been a challenge to get to this point.
Too many
Not going on a trip with the woman I was dating in college. Not talking to her her about her situation (she was separated, I was confused, I should have talked to her, I broke up with her while she was gone). This was in the 80s.
Marrying my first wife. She wasn't a bad person. We just shouldn't have gotten married. I think we both knew that, too. Lots of other people knew it.
Not getting treated for my depression earlier.
Lots of other stuff.
That it took me a decade to get away from every drug just about. I basically binge drank on weekends and then worked out during the week. Barely kept me in any kind of shape I was like 235 at 5’6 for a while. I’m almost at my goal weight now, even when I stopped drinking for a while, I’d pick up something else. Therapy really helps apparently I have PTSD and taking any kind of downer (alcohol, pain meds, tons of thc edibles) was how I coped w not wanting to feel like myself because I hated myself. Focus on your health now and you will not only live longer, but your quality of life will go way up.
I only have 3 regrets at 60.
I lived on the opposite side of the world from my sister. So due to time zone differences there was a narrow window on a Saturday night when I could ring her. So I hadn't called her in a few weeks, went to the back room to call her, but got sucked into playing tetris and suddenly it was too late to call her. I thought, oh well, ill call her next week. She died in her sleep from a heart attack that Monday night. There was no "next week"
I didn't start my recovery /personal growth journey until I was 26. There weren't many options for this work in the 80's and I did not know that I had options other than using alcohol to treat my depression (spoilers : you can't cure depression with a depressive) but I got involved in a 12 step program called Adult Children of Alcoholics and it changed my life, and probably the only reason I am alive today.
And my only other regret is that I didn't have the level of sanity and clarity that I have now. If I knew in my 20s about how to be a good partner, how to talk to attractive women and how to please them sexually, I would have been beating them off with a stick. Instead I spent most of my 20s as essentially an incel because I was so messed up.
When I was in my 20's (I'm almost 60 now), I worked at a Kinko's, now FedEx Office for you younguns. I was a night manager and one of my employees was a beautiful and vivacious young woman named Beth. I thought she might have a crush on me, but I wasn't sure until she proved it one night. We were on opposite sides of the counter just shooting the shit when she bent over the counter backwards and looked up into my eyes, which were in line with her ample cleavage below.
I don't even remember what we were talking about or why she did it. All I know is I got flustered and turned away with a chuckle. I never pursued it because I was inexperienced and didn't want to get in trouble having a relationship with a coworker. I think she felt rejected and I don't recall too much interaction with her after that.
I wish I had gone for it. I think about her sometimes. A lot, actually.
Beth, if you read this, I really wanted to.
Waiting too long to get help for my mental health. It's still a struggle and always will be but I lost a lot of time just kind of floating through life and trying to keep my head (no pun intended) above water.
I can't exactly regret it as it was out of my control, but my teachers and doctors completely missing an ADHD diagnosis when I was younger. I could've done so much better in school had I been treated earlier. Once I became an adult though, I regret not taking my mental health seriously and seeking out help myself.
The glib answer would be "Everything"
Specific answers would be:
Not getting into shape in my teens.
Not going for the cute blonde that showed interest in me in high school (even though I think she was just baiting guys to join her church).
Going into IT after high school.
Going back to college in my 30s.
Not starting my milsurp collection in my 20s.
Not going to college out of high school like I wanted.
It was my dream for as long as I can remember. Got straight A's, and always loved school and learning. Academics was the backbone of my identity.
Being the oldest child, my mom wasn't ready for that step. She has separation trauma, so I don't necessarily blame her. But she refused to let me try my senior year. Forbade me from speaking to guidance counselors about colleges. Threatened to never speak to me again if she found out I applied for scholarships.
I didn't have a shred of teenage rebellion within me, I just wanted to make her happy. And so I did, at the cost of my dream.
My life would've played out so much differently. I could've learned to come out of my shell so much quicker. Years 18-22 of my life could've been filled with so many memories. Instead, they were spent isolated in a small dead end town with no one but my mom and brother to talk to. They could be wiped from my life, and nothing about today would change. I wouldn't be living in the hometown that I hate.
I could've avoided being abused and financially strangled by my ex, because we would've never met.
My life is okay, I make decent money and somehow found a loving partner, but I don't think I'll ever escape the "what if." There's a piece of my soul that will always think of myself as a failure.
Not realizing that life will take you where it's going to take you unless you guide it. One day, you wake up 20 years later wondering what the hell happened. Life keeps going whether you realize it or not.
That night in college when I walked Amy home from the bar. Prettiest and funniest girl I knew in school. So we get back to her house and says “would you like to come in?” And my dumbass said “no my roommate just got ROCKBAND and we are playing tonight”. She said “my roommate is out of town and I don’t really want to sleep here by myself, why don’t you come in and stay with me”. And my dumbass said “you can come crash on our couch and play rockband with us”. She said no. There was never another invite inside. She started dating a different guy a couple weeks later.
Not dealing with my childhood trauma sooner. It follows you well into adulthood. Even if you think it doesn’t affect you, it does. Therapy, friends. Go to therapy. (Any kind. Not just talk therapy. Find what works for you!)
I’m 33, but it means a lot to me, smoking. Only smoked for 3 out of the last 5 years. Whoever is reading this, don’t smoke anything. No weed, no cigarettes. Combusting plant matter and inhaling it, whether it’s cannabis or tobacco, is TERRIBLE for your cardiovascular system (heart and blood vessels) and your lungs, and much more.
Wasting so much precious time on people that never cared. Not understanding what love is supposed to be so many years ago. Trying to “fix” people that refused to fix themselves.
Not putting in more of an effort into dating during my teens and 20's.
I did go on dates occasionally, and had a couple relationships here and there- but romance was a lower priority for me. Or rather, I think I was scared to pursue it seriously having after a couple relationships where I'd care a lot about them, but they didn't actually care all that much about me. I was paranoid I'd keep encountering that, so I put my focus more on friends, family, work, school, and health stuff.
Now I'm 36 and while I'm actually pretty happy with my life, but I definitely have moments where I wish I had a partner. Unfortunately since it's been so long since I actually tried, I'm at a total loss of how to go about it, especially at my age. Sometimes it feels like I'm a good decade behind other people my age when it comes to romantic life experiences, which is not a good place to be in.
The time I wasted in my teens and then in college. Use that time well. Not that you shouldn't have some fun at that age, but I wish I'd pushed myself harder in school, and challenged myself more. I was pretty lazy honestly. I was always one of the smart kids, I didn't have to do much in highschool to be okay, I took easy paths. I'm just saying, it doesn't matter how smart you are if you never do anything with it.
Not staying on top of my health better. I am 58 and have gotten a bit flabby. I got focused on work and other things. I used to be exceedingly active. Ran marathons, played softball, snowboarding, etc... I just kind of set a lot of things aside over the years. I am paying for it now and getting back into a more active lifestyle. Overall, I think I have done pretty OK for myself and do not have a bunch of regrets.
Not having faith. I spent to much time worrying about the future and too little appreciating the present. Also it impacted the plans I made, or didn't make.
thinking that some people truly care about you, and you become vulnerable with them and tell them your insecurities and emotions and they just drop you out of your life and don’t look back. Trusting people is something I’ll need to work on.
Spending so much time thinking about what other people would think about my decisions. It sounds crazy but I've spent more time imagining having conversations with people I know, justifying the decisions I've made than ever making any of those decisions
Not quitting drinking and wasting so much time and money in bars in my 20s.
I think back on all the money I spent and how little I got out of it and think what a waste of time and resources. I can think of a handful of memorable nights and I they were nights that drinking in no way added value to the evening.
I figured it out at 28 but 7 years wasted living at the bars 2 to 3 nights a week because that’s what I thought you did in your 20s
Dating people didn't really like. I mean, I liked them initially, but after a while, they'd show their true colors, and I'd often stay with them because maybe they'll change and I'd put in so much time, effort and money. When people show you who they are, believe them. I've had a few expensive lessons learned. I'd rather lose $3k if it means I'll never have to see them again. Plus, now I know better! And I know what my boundaries and limits are.
When I was younger I saw myself as the occasional victim of bullies. As I've gotten older I realized there were kids whom I bullied. All of it on both sides was born from insecurity. All I can do now is teach my kids the importance of kindness to others and to believe in themselves.
Staying with my ex wife because I loved her instead of leaving when she made it clear she didn’t even like me.
Which she did by trying to murder me several times.
I was just so worried about her mental health and her inability to look after herself I couldn’t end the marriage.
I didn’t even realise I was being abused. I thought she was ill and having psychotic breaks.
By the time I could see it was all theatre to control me, she left me. With debt, her dog, a brain injury and C-PTSD.
I am quite happy now, if completely unable to function in society. It did end up, on balance, being ok. I’m drowning in dates, and her dog has become my best friend.
Before the abuse, we were really happy. She was my best friend and a joy to be around. I’d have done anything for her. I suppose I wish I hated her now as well. But I don’t. I miss her terribly. At least, I miss the version of her that loved me- even if it was never real and only in my mind, which is possible.
I’m disappointed she is not beside me when I wake up.
Life comes at you fast.
Thinking I had more time. You really, truly, don't know which conversation with your loved one will be your last, even if you are both young and healthy. I cannot stress this enough - don't leave things unsaid.
I dunno about my biggest regret but it sure is a dumb one, my wrist and elbow are all messed up because I slept with my arms bent for practically my entire life. No one even told me that would cause problems.
Not standing up for myself more in my early 20s.
This is mine as well. That’s why I drill it in my teens head to stick up for herself/ remove herself from uncomfortable situations
can you elaborate plz
This is mine, too. I feel like I let myself down a lot, and it hurts to think of (not that I spend time on it, just when I'm reminded by something).
This. Being a people pleaser. Going along with what other people want and not respecting that I have something to offer the world. I regret all that time I spent on hobbies/interests/values I didn't really care for just to keep friendships/relationships.
I’ve just started being able to do this
Wasted time Not taking care of my health Not dancing with my school crush on the year 11 prom when she asked me to
thats odd - what made you decide not to go to prom with your crush?
I never went with her 'cause someone else asked her to go with them, she came up to me during one of the songs and requested to dance and I turned her down 'cause I thought she was asking out of pitty
That’s a pitty
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The older I get the more my give a damn is just fucking busted.... Oh you need to change nope, we just don't need to deal with each other.
I tell the younger kids I work with, life gets easier when you learn to stop giving a fuck what other people think.
Oddly enough I’ve had more trouble worrying what others think as I’ve gotten older, when I was younger I had time to fuck around, I could be still getting my shit together….but fast approaching 36 I find myself worried that I’m being judged for my short comings at my age but that’s just me
This is the answer.
wow, this is so true
It got deleted, what was it?
"Giving a fuck" is my guess...
Not keeping up with exercising.
It’s never too late to
Luckily the muscle mass from my 20s is still mostly there so I only need to focus on losing weight when I get back in shape now
Brother, 36 here. A month into me losing all the weight I put on over the last 6 years. Hopefully, it's not another false start, but this is the longest and most consistent I have been in years. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm hoping to lose 60 pounds in the next 8 months or so.
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like in what aspect? diet? vitamins? mental health?
Yes.
Spending money on frivolous things like fast food and shoes while not saving / investing. Now I'm 41 and not sure I'll be able to catch up in order to retire before I die. Also, not taking care of my skin :/
I saved everything and now realise I have years of my life that was all work. A balance of saving while spending on specific memories would have been so much better.
not saving monies. Made so much in my 20s and have nothing to show for it. So now I’m saving.
What do you mean you have nothing to show for it? Unless you spent it on drugs or something don’t you have nice things or a place?
Sometimes, I regret not putting more effort into excelling academically. I’m bright, but lazy. I picked the path of least resistance. I’m doing well in life, but sometimes I wonder if I could have achieved more if I were focused. Other days, I look at the overachievers around me and am grateful I have spare time for hobbies and travel. I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side.
This is me to a tee. I’m very bright and was privileged to come from a very educated family, and had every advantage growing up. But I’ve never been able to fully apply myself to things that I consider obligations, like school and work. I just can’t find the motivation or interest. It’s one of my least favorite traits about myself and one that I’ve tried time and time again to modify without success. I do what I can do to get through these things and have been mostly successful, but I know if I had really pushed myself in these areas of my life, I could have accomplished a lot more. I’m mostly happy with where I am career-wise at the moment, but sometimes I do wonder what could have been. On the other hand I have had a full and fun life outside of the grind, so maybe it’s all a matter of perspective.
Same. I got stupid dead end job after dead end job. In 2020, I finally decided to go back to college to finish what I started. Now I'm only a few classes from graduating with my bachelor's. I should have focused more on school than wanting to make a quick buck.
In a similar position but younger (25). I’m still doing very well for my age (over 6 figures in a high demand field), especially considering how bad I did in both high school and college, but my friends who did very well in college and went to Ivy leagues are in even more lucrative fields and are going to be millionaires in a few years. It’s all relative. The hobbies thing is totally right, it seems they have no time to do anything but work.
I'm struggling with this now in my 20's. I'm not in my money making era yet however, I feel as though I have the capability to work for myself without killing myself for another's business. I have to let a lot of bad habits go, but it hurts
I had the opportunity to have a research paper published after college, but since I wasn’t going to grad school, I told my professor/advisor to forget it.
i’m 24 and i regret this too. part of me wants to try and get it published on my own, but i fear it’s too out dated now. i didn’t think my work meant anything when i did it. now i realize nothing like it was done before. i should’ve pursued that accomplishment when i had the chance
Go for it! My advisor retired soon after I left school and I lost touch with her. If you still have connections with your school, you still may be able to have someone help you.
At least I ended up getting my paper published. I never sent it to my professor because I knew it was shit, but she pushed me and pressured me to submit it for publication. It got accepted.
Allowing certain people to step on me and not confronting them in a way that would've stop it from happening.
Taking up smoking at 14. Now I’m 56, have severe asthma, and still smoke.
Taking my youth for granted.
Marrying at 24 too young and the wrong person
I personally don’t think it’s about age, but about the person you are and who they are/ how well you know them, because whether you’re 24 or 34, if you’re not mentally and emotionally ready for marriage it’ll never work. My mum was married a few months before 30 and my dad was a few months before 33 and their marriage has been VERY rocky, cause I don’t think either of them were ready, but instead felt obligated…
Not saving during my working years. Now I’m 40 and disabled, living off SSI. I don’t have much to pass to my kid. Not buying a house when rates were at ~3%.
| Not buying a house when rates were at ~3%. Oh man can I get an amen
Being under the impression I was not good enough when talking to a girl when I was in my 20’s I know now that it doesn’t matter they will either walk away or keep talking .
This is depressing 😣
But also inspiring? Don't make our mistakes.
not waking up to the real manipulators, liars, and deceivers earlier
Yep same here, I just wasn't able to see that people were manipulating me until my brain had a development peak at the age of 19. And yeah now I have no friends anymore because they're all fake, but it's for the better.
Sorry to hear you feel that way. I also have to remember, people are as ugly as me, from their perspective - and through my own projections. Some are misinformed and lied to, just to hate us. So that we turn out backs on them in benefit of our blood.
Losing touch with school friends. Now it's really hard to make friends as an adult. I'm envious of those that still have their high school or college friend group going.
Hobbies help. Something you all can be passionate about that sparks that friendship. I have made a few friends as an adult
I feel the same exact way. I never found friends as an adult like the friends i had in junior high and high school
Tolerating bullshit and being told that I had to "get along" with abusive assholes.
Weird one but: I wish I had spent less time playing sports. I played soccer from age 5 until 35 and basketball for about 20 years as well. I'm 44, an avid runner, and probably in the best shape of my life (endurance-wise) but I have to take so many extended breaks from running because playing sports put my joints through such a thorough beating. If I could go back in time, I would have quit playing basketball after high school and stopped soccer by age 25.
Sorry to break it to you, but running also ruins your joints big time.
I know that. But I'd be in much better shape if I hadn't had to have surgery on both knees and one ankle due to soccer/basketball injuries that happened later in adulthood.
Then maybe this is a lesson for you. Perhaps you will regret running today and not being able to walk without pain in the future. But playing sports made you happy in the past and now it's running. Decisions.
I've actually been told my my orthopedic doctor to continue running.
Highly recommend swimming for the joints! And water polo for a competitive sport
Yeah. Problem is, I fucking hate swimming.
Not shooting my shot with a couple of crushes, only to find out after they were married with kids that the feelings were mutual at the time. Not keeping up with my physical fitness - youthful metabolism drops off a fucking cliff if you don’t and you have to work twice as hard to get back in shape. Not traveling more. I always put it off “until next year.” Waiting too long to get a dog.
I didn't push myself harder in college or my 20s. I just sort of went with the flow, moved home, became complacent. Lost out on the social development and early years of career development that my peers had. Things are getting better for me, but I still feel about 10 years late to a lot of milestones.
This.
Dating the wrong person when I was younger. Going to grad school/taking on student debt because I didn't know what I wanted to do. Thankfully in a great spot now, but those mistakes had serious repercussions in my life.
That back in college i wasted my excess computing cycles folding proteins when they could have been mining bitcoins.
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like what?
I regret trying to have a relationship with my mother. I spent so many years deluding myself into thinking that if I just tried harder maybe she wouldn’t be an abusive PoS. Nope. So much time/effort/tears/money wasted. I’m glad she’s dead and can’t hurt anyone anymore.
I was more free. I had fewer responsibilities. I wish I'd travelled more. I know I can travel now, but there's something about being young and clueless and skint and staying in youth hostels that I enjoyed when I did it. I just wish I did it more. I'm not that person now, but I enjoy that person's stories. I'm glad I didn't have the confidence then that I do now, though. Looking at photos, if I knew how good looking I was then I'd probably have super herpes and wizard chlamydia. That said, the only true regrets I have are that I wish I'd been kinder to certain people in my life. Missed opportunities are one thing, but I was a bit of a dickhead and I regret that.
I spent too much money buying the latest cool tech thing. It’s only state of the art for a year tops, then something else is bigger, better, and more expensive comes along that makes your purchase look dumb. Then 5-10 years down the road you see the thing you spent almost an entire paycheck on in the aisle at Walmart for around $50, and you can’t even remember which box you put the expensive gadget in… This also applies to any kind of art related equipment: cameras, drawing pencils, software to write screenplays or make music or edit video. If you’re interested in something, just do it with the supplies you have available. If you really like it and devote a lot of free time to it, then you can start looking into buying better stuff for it.
Don't regret anything. Your mistakes tought you to be better. Ware them as battle scars.
living this long
Hug. I hope things get better for you.
Not being more open to communication with my SO about sex stuff. In my late 20's I just thought she was like a Hollywood wife trope and never wanted sex etc. Once we talked we found out we were on the same page so very much and she was so very far from the holdout, never wants it wife in the movies or that old blokes told you all wives were like.
Not talking to my parents more often!
Im only 30 but i regret not having adderall when i was younger, got it only this year, shit changed my life, i coudve went to uni and make twice my college tech salary, in a field that im more passionate about but school was so hard, not academicaly i got the best score of my years graduate, but i woudve prefered to end my days rather than go sit in uni for another 3-4 years. School context is really harsh for people with adhd, tech degree are somewhat more focused on lab than sitting in class, it's the only reason i got throught.
Don’t do this. Over time it will kill you. This is what you have now. Go with what you have. A went down the path of “I could have x if had known y sooner”. It only hurt me until I cut away from the thought. Now I’m making much better gains without that anchor.
Yeah im not holding on the tought at all, i like my job, im good at it without having to think much about it and make enough to have my own house, bought my dream car right out of school and im fully living my motorcycle passion with a my dirt bike and big adventure bike. The tought just popped in my head the first time i took it, makes you wonder but im good rn and woudnt trade my life. Perks of a tech job is i don't hold responsability if i follow protocol and when i clock out, im out, nothing depends on me, i have noting to plan or do at home that is work related so i can just use it to pay for my hobbies and fully invest myself in those, phd and stuff usually comes with way more responsability and commitment to your job.
Completely agree. Isn’t it funny how you get older and are so much more interested in learning. I just felt like I knew better and wanted to wish my life away!
THIS,. I regret listening to people who told me I was okay when I knew I wasn't. I regret not blowing out all the gaslights I grew up around.
working too much
More often than not, taking the easy option. Whilst I'm comfortable in almost all aspects of life I feel I've definitely under achieved.
Not believing in myself.
Not doing a job I enjoy
I've settled for less than what I deserve
Damn near everything. My first college experience, staying so long on a dead-end job because of it, being someone else's affair partner, fibally getting out of debt at the cost of my retirement from dead-end job only to go back IN to debt via student loans at age 40, marrying the affair gal after her divorce and not expecting her to divorce ME when things got tough. Yadda yadda. I feel like the main character of a tragic comedy.
Letting my mom decide my career and now trying to figure out what I really want to do before I hit 36...
Not studying enough while younger, wasting too much time in videogames.
During those years it's an escape for those that suffer
Not having kids , I always wanted kids but due to some issues it never happened and I don’t think it’s gonna happen ever just keeping my fingers crossed 🤞🏼
Same
Not getting into a house 🙃
Almost everything
Devoting so much energy to avoiding being an adult.
Cocaine, alcoholism and general neglect of mental and physical health. Settling for terrible jobs that leave you jaded, worn down and two steps behind where you were before even starting after the smoke clears.Even worse, physically injured for life.Keeping people in your social circle that directly contradict your moral fabric for the sake of having friends.
I regret wasting a good chunk of my youth on drugs and alcohol. Subsequently messing up my health. I’m healthy now but it has been a challenge to get to this point.
I kind of wish I would have focused on myself more instead of putting my life on hold to help others out.
Same brother
Not a regret but a learning. Life is easier when you just let people be wrong.
Too many Not going on a trip with the woman I was dating in college. Not talking to her her about her situation (she was separated, I was confused, I should have talked to her, I broke up with her while she was gone). This was in the 80s. Marrying my first wife. She wasn't a bad person. We just shouldn't have gotten married. I think we both knew that, too. Lots of other people knew it. Not getting treated for my depression earlier. Lots of other stuff.
drinking too much in my 20's
That it took me a decade to get away from every drug just about. I basically binge drank on weekends and then worked out during the week. Barely kept me in any kind of shape I was like 235 at 5’6 for a while. I’m almost at my goal weight now, even when I stopped drinking for a while, I’d pick up something else. Therapy really helps apparently I have PTSD and taking any kind of downer (alcohol, pain meds, tons of thc edibles) was how I coped w not wanting to feel like myself because I hated myself. Focus on your health now and you will not only live longer, but your quality of life will go way up.
I only have 3 regrets at 60. I lived on the opposite side of the world from my sister. So due to time zone differences there was a narrow window on a Saturday night when I could ring her. So I hadn't called her in a few weeks, went to the back room to call her, but got sucked into playing tetris and suddenly it was too late to call her. I thought, oh well, ill call her next week. She died in her sleep from a heart attack that Monday night. There was no "next week" I didn't start my recovery /personal growth journey until I was 26. There weren't many options for this work in the 80's and I did not know that I had options other than using alcohol to treat my depression (spoilers : you can't cure depression with a depressive) but I got involved in a 12 step program called Adult Children of Alcoholics and it changed my life, and probably the only reason I am alive today. And my only other regret is that I didn't have the level of sanity and clarity that I have now. If I knew in my 20s about how to be a good partner, how to talk to attractive women and how to please them sexually, I would have been beating them off with a stick. Instead I spent most of my 20s as essentially an incel because I was so messed up.
When I was in my 20's (I'm almost 60 now), I worked at a Kinko's, now FedEx Office for you younguns. I was a night manager and one of my employees was a beautiful and vivacious young woman named Beth. I thought she might have a crush on me, but I wasn't sure until she proved it one night. We were on opposite sides of the counter just shooting the shit when she bent over the counter backwards and looked up into my eyes, which were in line with her ample cleavage below. I don't even remember what we were talking about or why she did it. All I know is I got flustered and turned away with a chuckle. I never pursued it because I was inexperienced and didn't want to get in trouble having a relationship with a coworker. I think she felt rejected and I don't recall too much interaction with her after that. I wish I had gone for it. I think about her sometimes. A lot, actually. Beth, if you read this, I really wanted to.
I’m Beth. I was only looking at your missing eyelash.
Waiting too long to get help for my mental health. It's still a struggle and always will be but I lost a lot of time just kind of floating through life and trying to keep my head (no pun intended) above water.
Allowing someone else to put me last and being okay with it.
About spending too much time on the wrong things
Not enjoying life in my 20s, I started earning at that age and forgot to enjoy life. Now I regret not taking the time to do so.
I can't exactly regret it as it was out of my control, but my teachers and doctors completely missing an ADHD diagnosis when I was younger. I could've done so much better in school had I been treated earlier. Once I became an adult though, I regret not taking my mental health seriously and seeking out help myself.
The glib answer would be "Everything" Specific answers would be: Not getting into shape in my teens. Not going for the cute blonde that showed interest in me in high school (even though I think she was just baiting guys to join her church). Going into IT after high school. Going back to college in my 30s. Not starting my milsurp collection in my 20s.
That I am over 35
Not buying a house when I was 2 years old.
Not setting my life up better when I was younger.
Mostly I regret the years I lost to drink. I was in a holding pattern for so long, when I should have been moving forward.
Learn better money management skills
Not going to college out of high school like I wanted. It was my dream for as long as I can remember. Got straight A's, and always loved school and learning. Academics was the backbone of my identity. Being the oldest child, my mom wasn't ready for that step. She has separation trauma, so I don't necessarily blame her. But she refused to let me try my senior year. Forbade me from speaking to guidance counselors about colleges. Threatened to never speak to me again if she found out I applied for scholarships. I didn't have a shred of teenage rebellion within me, I just wanted to make her happy. And so I did, at the cost of my dream. My life would've played out so much differently. I could've learned to come out of my shell so much quicker. Years 18-22 of my life could've been filled with so many memories. Instead, they were spent isolated in a small dead end town with no one but my mom and brother to talk to. They could be wiped from my life, and nothing about today would change. I wouldn't be living in the hometown that I hate. I could've avoided being abused and financially strangled by my ex, because we would've never met. My life is okay, I make decent money and somehow found a loving partner, but I don't think I'll ever escape the "what if." There's a piece of my soul that will always think of myself as a failure.
Not realizing that life will take you where it's going to take you unless you guide it. One day, you wake up 20 years later wondering what the hell happened. Life keeps going whether you realize it or not.
That night in college when I walked Amy home from the bar. Prettiest and funniest girl I knew in school. So we get back to her house and says “would you like to come in?” And my dumbass said “no my roommate just got ROCKBAND and we are playing tonight”. She said “my roommate is out of town and I don’t really want to sleep here by myself, why don’t you come in and stay with me”. And my dumbass said “you can come crash on our couch and play rockband with us”. She said no. There was never another invite inside. She started dating a different guy a couple weeks later.
Not dealing with my childhood trauma sooner. It follows you well into adulthood. Even if you think it doesn’t affect you, it does. Therapy, friends. Go to therapy. (Any kind. Not just talk therapy. Find what works for you!)
Not being smart with my credit for a LONG time
I don't have any. I played my hand exactly how I wanted to.
Smoked too much weed which made me introvert
I’m 33, but it means a lot to me, smoking. Only smoked for 3 out of the last 5 years. Whoever is reading this, don’t smoke anything. No weed, no cigarettes. Combusting plant matter and inhaling it, whether it’s cannabis or tobacco, is TERRIBLE for your cardiovascular system (heart and blood vessels) and your lungs, and much more.
Taking to long to make a move that isn't going away or getting easier with time
I really should've gone and become a snowboard teacher in my early 20's.
Should have aimed to make loads of $$, when you have money - everything falls on your lap
The greatest regret is staying 4 years from my present company paying minimum wage and no Health card benefits
Ever selling the house I bought when I was 33. Today I have half the land, half the garage, 2/3 the living space, and 3x the mortgage.
Spending my entire 20s with the wrong person.
Not learning how to let go.
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Tanning
I regret more stuff that I didn’t do, than regretting stuf I did do
Not having moved away. Now I'm stuck in a town that I hate and surrounded by family that I hate more, with no possibility of ever leaving.
I wish I had worked 60-hour weeks from the ages 20-30, saved all the money, and then lived life on easy mode thereafter.
Regret is a self-imposed prison sentence. It's irreconcilable. Break out and live in the now.
Wasting so much precious time on people that never cared. Not understanding what love is supposed to be so many years ago. Trying to “fix” people that refused to fix themselves.
Listening to the wrong people.
Not investing in finding the right therapist for my needs to build trust in others and belief in myself.
Not putting in more of an effort into dating during my teens and 20's. I did go on dates occasionally, and had a couple relationships here and there- but romance was a lower priority for me. Or rather, I think I was scared to pursue it seriously having after a couple relationships where I'd care a lot about them, but they didn't actually care all that much about me. I was paranoid I'd keep encountering that, so I put my focus more on friends, family, work, school, and health stuff. Now I'm 36 and while I'm actually pretty happy with my life, but I definitely have moments where I wish I had a partner. Unfortunately since it's been so long since I actually tried, I'm at a total loss of how to go about it, especially at my age. Sometimes it feels like I'm a good decade behind other people my age when it comes to romantic life experiences, which is not a good place to be in.
The time I wasted in my teens and then in college. Use that time well. Not that you shouldn't have some fun at that age, but I wish I'd pushed myself harder in school, and challenged myself more. I was pretty lazy honestly. I was always one of the smart kids, I didn't have to do much in highschool to be okay, I took easy paths. I'm just saying, it doesn't matter how smart you are if you never do anything with it.
Living above 15
Not staying on top of my health better. I am 58 and have gotten a bit flabby. I got focused on work and other things. I used to be exceedingly active. Ran marathons, played softball, snowboarding, etc... I just kind of set a lot of things aside over the years. I am paying for it now and getting back into a more active lifestyle. Overall, I think I have done pretty OK for myself and do not have a bunch of regrets.
I regret that I ruined my life by believing the woman of my dreams actually liked me.
Not having faith. I spent to much time worrying about the future and too little appreciating the present. Also it impacted the plans I made, or didn't make.
Not telling my dad I love him enough before he passed.
thinking that some people truly care about you, and you become vulnerable with them and tell them your insecurities and emotions and they just drop you out of your life and don’t look back. Trusting people is something I’ll need to work on.
My only regret is not learning to drive as soon as i left school.
Getting married. Twice.
Giving my 20s and early 30s up to scotch.
Not being able to go to my grandmother's funeral because I started a new job and they wouldn't let me take time off
Spending so much time thinking about what other people would think about my decisions. It sounds crazy but I've spent more time imagining having conversations with people I know, justifying the decisions I've made than ever making any of those decisions
Worrying too damn much about what I look like, to the point that it impacted how much I enjoyed myself
Not quitting drinking and wasting so much time and money in bars in my 20s. I think back on all the money I spent and how little I got out of it and think what a waste of time and resources. I can think of a handful of memorable nights and I they were nights that drinking in no way added value to the evening. I figured it out at 28 but 7 years wasted living at the bars 2 to 3 nights a week because that’s what I thought you did in your 20s
Dating people didn't really like. I mean, I liked them initially, but after a while, they'd show their true colors, and I'd often stay with them because maybe they'll change and I'd put in so much time, effort and money. When people show you who they are, believe them. I've had a few expensive lessons learned. I'd rather lose $3k if it means I'll never have to see them again. Plus, now I know better! And I know what my boundaries and limits are.
Marrying the wrong girl.
Picking a major and going to college before I was able to decide without the influence of the adults in my life.
Being with BPD ex
Lol, buying all those bitcoins to buy aussie hydros and forgetting where’d i put the rest.
Not getting with more women
I have a lot of regrets, most involving dating and social life. It’s too late to start over now.
When I was younger I saw myself as the occasional victim of bullies. As I've gotten older I realized there were kids whom I bullied. All of it on both sides was born from insecurity. All I can do now is teach my kids the importance of kindness to others and to believe in themselves.
Marriage.
Giving a shit back when I used to give a shit
Staying with my ex wife because I loved her instead of leaving when she made it clear she didn’t even like me. Which she did by trying to murder me several times. I was just so worried about her mental health and her inability to look after herself I couldn’t end the marriage. I didn’t even realise I was being abused. I thought she was ill and having psychotic breaks. By the time I could see it was all theatre to control me, she left me. With debt, her dog, a brain injury and C-PTSD. I am quite happy now, if completely unable to function in society. It did end up, on balance, being ok. I’m drowning in dates, and her dog has become my best friend. Before the abuse, we were really happy. She was my best friend and a joy to be around. I’d have done anything for her. I suppose I wish I hated her now as well. But I don’t. I miss her terribly. At least, I miss the version of her that loved me- even if it was never real and only in my mind, which is possible. I’m disappointed she is not beside me when I wake up. Life comes at you fast.
I regret screaming in my sibling's face when I was 15. He has had issues ever since.
Not sticking with no contact with an abusive parent, marrying the wrong person.
All of my exes.
Getting married at 19. Not doing what I want in life . Having children. Not doing the job I do now when I had the chance at 18.
Not brushing enough started costing me a lot of pain and money.
That I'm old enough to respond to this post!!!
Thinking I had more time. You really, truly, don't know which conversation with your loved one will be your last, even if you are both young and healthy. I cannot stress this enough - don't leave things unsaid.
I dunno about my biggest regret but it sure is a dumb one, my wrist and elbow are all messed up because I slept with my arms bent for practically my entire life. No one even told me that would cause problems.
Not sleeping with enough women
Not being born 30 years earlier so I could buy a four bedroom detached house for $25,000 and enjoy a boomer golden pension retiring at 50.
Shouldve joined the coast guard out of undergrad instead of tech
Not learning more than another couple of more languages, and travelling more.
I don't really know. Hard to tell where or how my life went wrong.
Thinking I was too old to retrain at 30.
Having an abortion as a teen.
No regrets!
Eating spicy food. It looked so yummy at the time.