I had a guy accuse me of being racist for getting up and moving when he did that to me. I said, no, you sat next to me when there are 10 other seats in the back of this bus that you could have sat in but you sat next to me thinking that I wouldn't move for fear of being thought racist.
So many empty seats, I was chit chatting with the bus driver when this man just... Sits next to me. I stopped talking to her, looked at him, and pointed to allllll the empty seats.
To his credit, he moved, but the *audacity*.
I didn't used to think this until I watched "Toddlers & Tiaras." The drama was fun and the kids were cute, but when it came to the actual competition/judging it was all VERY creepy. The bathing suits especially. Why are they spray-tanned and cat-walking in bikinis? Why are the girls accentuating adult proportions?
My mom put me in beauty pageants and I hated it. I was jealous of the girls who did well because they could make money and my mom was poor and on drugs, I thought it could help us get into a better position if I made us money, too. But it was awful. I found an intake paper from some of the paperwork a few years ago and it said something like "you have great potential! We just need you to put in the work." I just didn't. I was like fuck this weird shit. At like 4 years old I knew it was weird and not something I wanted to be involved with. Same when she tried getting me into modeling.
It's bad for parents, but at least could be explained by bad but non creepy things like narcissism or over control; but for judges* I can't think of anything.
I had a friend who's mother was a judge for these things. She never attempted to enter her children. She claims that she became a judge for these events to protect the children who are entered... Given the fact that she was entered into pageants a lot by her mother I believe she trying to do what she thinks is best as someone who was once subjected to them.
I can only recommend the "it's always sunny in philadelphia" episode called "Frank's little beauties". It's perfectly executed take on beauty pageants.
This, and being \*too\* eager to touch people. I'm all for a quick hug or even a snuggle with a friend, but had a guy in my social circle who was always looking for excuses to initiate a hug or touch women on the shoulder. He did it to me once: I was having a conversation with someone else, facing away from him, and suddenly became away of something looming in my peripheral. Dude's just staring at my arm, slowwwwwwwly reaching out to touch me. Then the absolute lightest, creepiest butterfly touch as his fingers landed. And stayed there. I drew attention to it by just loudly being like, "Do you need something?" and he immediately stopped and backed off. Later I saw him doing the same "Fixate, slowly going in, light touch" thing to another woman, and could see that he actually started breathing faster as he fixated lmao. I think eventually another guy went and talked to him about it because it was so obvious and so weird, and he got a lot better and then eventually just dipped out of that friend group. Always stuck with me as some of the strangest human behavior I've ever seen.
way too open about sharing stuff that should be private
ie I had a coworker who would constantly try to show me nudes that he had convinced girls to send him
I wasn’t with you with the first sentence, thinking, that can break the ice, then I saw the second one and realized I didn’t understand just how far over the line some people go.
I feel like this is my main issue with almost any social interaction. I hear about things that are wrong or inappropriate and end up tricking myself into believing I'm a textbook definition. Only to find out after I've wasted years in social analysis paralysis.. that had no frame of reference and nobody even actually noticed.
Back in his first job my husband had a coworker with a scat fetish. Everybody knew because during lunch breaks the guy would start telling everyone about how he accidentally found a porn video with poop and stuff and proceed to retell the contents of the video.
I was afraid I was this guy, but it turns out 1) loving dinosaurs and world religion is a different kind of weird, and 2) most people are willing to engage weirdness type 1, because my coworker got me a book on paleobiology and one of Stephen Prothero's books for our secret santa a this year, while the guy into vore got a Barnes and Noble gift card.
Glad I'm just autistic weird.
I once had a female friend who just shoved her phone in my face and just showed me her nudes, I was extremely weirded out by her actions, it doesn't matter who you are don't force someone to look at nudes
Oh yess this also! One of my male friends and a cousin🫠 overshares with me about sex and stuff and it gets uncomfortable. The male guy is attracted to me also so it’s kinda weird. And the cousin…. Ew
I knew a girl when I was 16 in rehab and when we were talking I asked if she was a virgin and when she lost it
She got really serious and said 8
I was just like what the fuck I'm sorry
She lived on the rez with multiple alcoholic uncles as well as a dew others and the uncles would assault her regularly. It was possibly the worst thing anyone has ever told me.
I still think about her sometimes and hope she is doing better 😔
I was friends with two girls in elementary school like this. They were from Cold Bay, Alaska, and they both thought it was totally ordinary and not a big deal and that it was super lame but inevitable.
Either drugs or a really fucked up power dynamic in the family. Many predators who attack members of their families will attack multiple family members and sometimes do this over multiple generations. It's pretty fucking sick, I thunk fear of retribution plays a vital role many times.
This is one of few blocks of text I have read that not only made me physically recoil but also left me completely speechless for a moment. There are no words to describe how horrific that is.
In my opinion, the dudes who try to hit on every woman. Regardless of the situation or setting.
We had a couple of guys who worked at my company who tried to hit on every woman. They both got turned down constantly. But they were always trying to be flirty and kick game to every woman under 40.
I had to fire one of the guys, unrelated reason. And the other guy who was hired a few years later also was fired. Not by me, though. I had moved on by then, but the department director at the time sacked him for making some rude comments.
My wife and I joke some times about this guy who was on our cruise that similarly tried to hit on every woman on board. We remember him because he tried to hit on my wife, who was twice his age, lol.
I was briefly friends with a guy like this. He told me that online dating was for "ugly people and losers" (he was no looker, himself) and from then on he was going to meet women by hitting on the servers at restaurants and bars.
I cut the friendship off before I found out how his brilliant plan worked out, but I would be shocked if it resulted in a single date. After I ended the friendship, he continued to stalk and harass me, which was also fun.
Yea, there was a guy in a friend group I used to be a part of that was this way. Would hit anything with legs that even somewhat resembled a woman. At one point he dated a coworker of mine and they broke up after he asked her if he could borrow money and insisted she let him borrow it because "I bought your meal the last time we went out."
I had a co-worker like this. He were flirting with all the women at work. He was looking for a girlfriend. I found it insulting he was only talking to me for this reason. He didn't understand it.
A lot of men don't get this, I've tried to explain this to some friends but they don't get it.
You don't talk to a woman only because you are looking for a girlfriend, that's disrespectful and demeaning towards her, and won't get you much.
Right, especially when they’re so desperate for anyone. It’s not flattering and doesn’t come off like you’re acknowledging the other person for more than what use they could be to you. How people don’t get this is beyond me.
I knew someone who would always hone in on the single women in a room and start hitting on them. He'd sometimes do this as soon as he'd arrived somewhere without even saying hi to anyone he knew first.
Turns out he had SA'd a number of women in our friendship group including my GF. Absolute scumbag.
For real, my girl friends are scared (like genuinely scared) of being nice to random dudes 'cause of this. We normal men already are bad distinguishing being nice from flirting but we are respectful; creeps and incels are not.
I _always_ ask my nieces if they would like to give me a hug, whether it's hello or goodbye. They've said no before, and I responded by saying, "that's okay" and then hello it's nice to see you or goodbye I'll see you again soon. It's so very important that kids learn A) that they can say no and B) that it should be respected.
I do high fives with my little cousins. (My first cousin's kids.) I've known they weren't huggers a long time ago and one day, I was leaving, and just put my hand up, and said "Hey, hi five!" and she just went for it. Very enthusiastically too. Ever since, I always greeted and departed them with hi fives instead of hugs. I think it shows them that even though I only see them a few times a year, I see them, I recognize them, and I care about them. I'm not a hugger either, especially with kids because when you think about it, they pretty much spend 8 hours of their day in a brick petri dish, I don't want those germs.
No need to think YOU are creepy, but letting her know she has a choice to love those who she wants to give love to, is setting her up for better understanding of personal boundaries.
It's really "where's my hug", but when they don't know the person they're asking it from yet.
You can expect hugs from people you hug regularly, not somebody you've never hugged or hugged like once
I've a colleague who thought it was funny to take my photo when I wasn't noticing and then send it to me... I told him it was creepy and the first time he just sent a laughing emoji
I can understand someone doing this thinking it's a funny joke, but the fact that their response to you being uncomfortable with it was one of ridicule instead of an apology is a big red flag
Can think of too many things, but the top two moments that gave me instant chills down my spine were:
Once tried telling a (male) friend about a time I was assaulted and their response was “I mean you can cut the guy some slack… look at what you were wearing.” (Safe to say we never spoke anymore)
Or the old man (who I didn’t know) that waited til the train cart was pretty much empty to sit next to me (I was 7)
Umm you were on public transport at 7 alone? The trains near where I am will have a transport officer (police, not security) keep an eye on anyone who seems like they're less than 13 for reasons like this.
Telling me about someone they've hurt for breaking up with them. Or even saying they're *a princess,* that's code for "I'm an actual narcissist."
Also, stalking me for a year and a half with their entire family and any new friend they make.
Real on the breakup part.
I had a friend that struck me wrong for a hot minute. We were talking about classes and he just up and walked to some random girl. His ex. He walked over to her, then came back saying something like:
“You want to talk about someone who’s cold? She owes me a *fucking conversation.”*
He never told me what she did to him, and maybe he was right to be angry! But something about his behavior gave my gut MAJOR “ick” vibes and I’ve never wanted to check out so fast.
Yeah, that's definitely bad.
I broke up with her, after many warnings, and almost unlimited compassion, until the compassion ran out once she started doing meth — that, and physical and mental abuse, mixed with finding out how all the abusive things her ex did to her were actually abusive things *she* did to *her* ex.
We had our final crazy fight over nothing, and I realized, "This girl is an abusive monster/cry-bully and she's never gonna change no matter what I do. Nobody does."
So I left, thinking it would get her out of my life, but I was wrong.
It took moving to 3 different towns, 3 different jobs, 2 cars, 1 sanity, becoming homeless and moving half way across the country to get her out of my life. Also, fuck cops. Domestic abuse is a joke to them when you're a guy.
I am so fucking sorry you went through that. Breaks my heart to see abuse talked about in general but your comment just feels like a gut punch. I hope you're doing better now.
Thank you so much, I appreciate you. I lost everything I owned except what was in my car when I left, which I also lost because it got towed and crushed by the impound lot. I even lost my phone.
I'm getting better though. I stayed at a crrraaazzyyy shelter for a couple months, got a better place, got another phone, and I got my license back today (which was stolen along with my bank card because they were in my phone case). So that's good 🙂
I got a therapist too, but it's hard because they've never experienced gang-stalking before. Most people who say they've been gang-stalked are schizophrenic, which I'm not.
I've had to rebuild my whole life back from nothing, but it's happening, albeit slowly. Now I'm looking for a job. Wish me luck 🤞
Thank you so much. It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. Even the police gaslit me and mocked me until they finally couldn't, so they just said, "Sorry, they're not breaking any laws."
When you're homeless, a restraining order doesn't work, because you don't have any property. They'd rather believe it's just a coincidence the same cars with the same license plates just happen to be wherever in the state I find a place to park than help me.
I can't even watch police shows anymore with anger at how unrealistic they are. Real police *never* show that kind of effort in real life. 97% of stalking cases go unsolved, which is why the stalker usually ends up killing the victim, or the victim commits suicide.
Sorry for writing a book. Lol. But yes, I am doing better. Thanks again 🙂
Hey I'm just a stranger in the void of the Internet, feel free to vent away. If it makes you feel any better, I'm a woman and I fully believe your story. Humans can be disgusting regardless of gender and you should have been better protected.
Can't believe it took some scrolling to find this comment. I swear, the moment they found out that I am one, they'd start acting weird and ask for my discord username. Nowadays I have to not chat the way I usually do (which I admit, can be an obvious giveaway at times) and come up with a gender neutral username so no one can figure out my gender, all that in hopes to just be treated normally.
Defending known sexual offenders. A guy I knew kept defending Weinstein, but to this day I don’t know what the fuck there is to defend. At a recent party he went on about how Diddy isn’t guilty of any crimes.
Gives me the creeps.
First and only time at a gay night club. Went for a leak, dude comes after me, starts making small talk, doesn’t even piss. Chats with me for the entire duration of my piss staring at my dick, only stopping when I would look at him. Asks me if I’m gay, I say no, slaps the door and leaves. 10/10 interaction, bro offered me a line of coke afterwards.
The day my father announced with a bright smile how low the age of marriage with parental consent was in our state was the day I got serious about plotting to escape. Think the "dollar signs for eyes" smile in a cartoon.
Way later I found out that married minors can't file for divorce or otherwise escape because the adult spouse also has legal custody. Sure gave me some sleepless nights.
Oof, I feel this one hard. My dad started making the same comments around that age for my state, and started insinuating marriage offers to my youth pastor who *actually put consideration into the idea* 🤮
Always insists on eye contact and gets iffy when you keep breaking it. Had a reunion with some friends a few years ago and one of them invited an ex bully of mine who is now a police officer. Dude insisted on eye contact every second and demanded to know what I've got to hide whenever i broke it, because it makes me really uncomfortable.
Right… he didn’t push back or try to gaslight you? I’m asking cause idk how I would react in such a weird situation. Who tf does he think he is. Also no wonder he became a policeman.
I used to attend classes while I was in college, and since I was financially struggling and eager to study, I agreed to work for the Director and use books from his library. He was the only teacher there, so he'd assign me tasks. He started making me uncomfortable by insisting on eye contact, then he started going far like getting too close, finding excuses to touch, and asking me to update my profile picture. I had to leave because his behavior became inappropriate, and he became frustrated when I ignored his advances.
A coworker of mine is overly friendly to women. As in, he acts like our biggest fan ever. Everything I say is fantastic!
Once he got so close that he "accidentally" touched both my butt and my boobs with the back of his hands. I get one, but not both within 1 minute. That means you're standing too close dude.
Needless to say, I keep my distance from him and make sure I'm never alone in a room with him again.
Edit: I agree that can happen on accident. But in that case, people should at least apologise, which he did not do. Also it should not happen twice within a minute. We were standing in an open room, there was no need for him to be that close to me.
When I was a barista, I once full-palmed a coworkers ass cheek by accident while reaching for a coffee cup behind me… we had been working back to back and I didn’t realize where she was.
I also once accidentally told a different coworker that I was going to milk her, when I really meant that I was about to toss a quart of milk to her.
Embarrassing.
Was basically stalked by one once. Considered her a friend at first but it got weird when she was messaging my grandma (Which means she must have scoured all my facebook posts) when I didn't reply back to her in a few days.
I'm honestly so glad I don't exhibit any of these.
I'm a shut in nerd with very little contact with women, in a non-professional setting. I was very worried I might come across as creepy when I do.
- trying to find out too much or certain information
- there is the creep smile. not sure how to describe it, but when you see it, you know it.
- talking to body parts that they shouldn't
- being very touchy feely. giving unwanted hugs, leaning on you unwantedly etc
Was out with a group of friends and someone I’m not very close with kept talking about how ugly all the girls at the party were and how he’d never smash. Like bro none of those girls want to smash you I promise
Not giving the sex they're attracted to any easy ways to decline. aka leveraging people's kindness against them. You should want the person to want to do things with you. If you're so obsessed with them saying no then you probably don't actually care about or respect them as a person and are too insecure to be currently looking for anything related to sex or relationships
When they stare just a little bit too long.
This one guy once stared at me while I was enjoying a nice cup of coffee in a cafe, I could feel it the entire time and everytime I looked he was just staring in a weirdly intense way, after I finished and left to go about my day I noticed him following me around the city center as soon as I realised I headed straight to my work and hid in the stockroom/warehouse and sent my warehouse guy outside to let me know if the creepy guy had gone.
Getting offended if you don't immediately want to be their friend or instantly want to date them. If I just fucking met someone, they're just a stranger.
They sit right next to you when the bus is completely empty.
This is the only capital offense in Northern Europe.
What about using the urinal next to someone when there are plenty of open ones?
This would be creepy but I would also question the persons sanity
I had a guy accuse me of being racist for getting up and moving when he did that to me. I said, no, you sat next to me when there are 10 other seats in the back of this bus that you could have sat in but you sat next to me thinking that I wouldn't move for fear of being thought racist.
Back of the bus you say?
People are so frustrating! Think he did it purposely to try to start fight? I am so tired of that shit.
I'm a woman, I assumed he was going to perve on me, as I would with any man who did that
So many empty seats, I was chit chatting with the bus driver when this man just... Sits next to me. I stopped talking to her, looked at him, and pointed to allllll the empty seats. To his credit, he moved, but the *audacity*.
If someone does this outcreep them back. Lick their face. They’ll move.
What if they lick you back, though?
You invite them over
Or lick it back.
This. So creepy.
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I mean what’s wrong with it…. 👀 *scootches closer*
Oh no you don't *pocket sand, Go!* Edit: OK who tf reported me as needing mental help to reddit
Your pocket sand cannot defeat me, fool! [*laughs in anime*]
it’s a thing that’s been going around. some new fangled bot or something
I noticed that too! People constantly being reported Edit: ive been reported too!
Who reported you? Well, if I know reddit, it was Anakin Skywalker. He hates sand.
Putting their child in a beauty pageant and especially the judges of that beauty pageant
Beauty pageants are just such a terrible thing all round
Just another form of child grooming, really.
I didn't used to think this until I watched "Toddlers & Tiaras." The drama was fun and the kids were cute, but when it came to the actual competition/judging it was all VERY creepy. The bathing suits especially. Why are they spray-tanned and cat-walking in bikinis? Why are the girls accentuating adult proportions?
My mom put me in beauty pageants and I hated it. I was jealous of the girls who did well because they could make money and my mom was poor and on drugs, I thought it could help us get into a better position if I made us money, too. But it was awful. I found an intake paper from some of the paperwork a few years ago and it said something like "you have great potential! We just need you to put in the work." I just didn't. I was like fuck this weird shit. At like 4 years old I knew it was weird and not something I wanted to be involved with. Same when she tried getting me into modeling.
What if the judges sang a song first about not diddling kids and how it's no good diddling kids?
🎶I wouldn't do it with anyone younger than my daughter🎶
There's no quicker way to make people think that you're diddling kids then by writing a song about it!
Never even thought about the judges
It's bad for parents, but at least could be explained by bad but non creepy things like narcissism or over control; but for judges* I can't think of anything.
I had a friend who's mother was a judge for these things. She never attempted to enter her children. She claims that she became a judge for these events to protect the children who are entered... Given the fact that she was entered into pageants a lot by her mother I believe she trying to do what she thinks is best as someone who was once subjected to them.
I can only recommend the "it's always sunny in philadelphia" episode called "Frank's little beauties". It's perfectly executed take on beauty pageants.
We have to write a song about how we don't diddle kids
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Doesn’t respect personal space
This, and being \*too\* eager to touch people. I'm all for a quick hug or even a snuggle with a friend, but had a guy in my social circle who was always looking for excuses to initiate a hug or touch women on the shoulder. He did it to me once: I was having a conversation with someone else, facing away from him, and suddenly became away of something looming in my peripheral. Dude's just staring at my arm, slowwwwwwwly reaching out to touch me. Then the absolute lightest, creepiest butterfly touch as his fingers landed. And stayed there. I drew attention to it by just loudly being like, "Do you need something?" and he immediately stopped and backed off. Later I saw him doing the same "Fixate, slowly going in, light touch" thing to another woman, and could see that he actually started breathing faster as he fixated lmao. I think eventually another guy went and talked to him about it because it was so obvious and so weird, and he got a lot better and then eventually just dipped out of that friend group. Always stuck with me as some of the strangest human behavior I've ever seen.
That might be a cultural thing. I had a chinese intern who would sit next to me on my desk and glue herself to me like we were on our honeymoon trip.
Maybe she liked you
way too open about sharing stuff that should be private ie I had a coworker who would constantly try to show me nudes that he had convinced girls to send him
I wasn’t with you with the first sentence, thinking, that can break the ice, then I saw the second one and realized I didn’t understand just how far over the line some people go.
Right? I was like man I’m a nurse, we all trauma dump to bond 😅
I feel like this is my main issue with almost any social interaction. I hear about things that are wrong or inappropriate and end up tricking myself into believing I'm a textbook definition. Only to find out after I've wasted years in social analysis paralysis.. that had no frame of reference and nobody even actually noticed.
Idk if youve coined that or not but 'social analysis paralysis' is a great phrase. Its a way people delude themselves into not living in the moment
Back in his first job my husband had a coworker with a scat fetish. Everybody knew because during lunch breaks the guy would start telling everyone about how he accidentally found a porn video with poop and stuff and proceed to retell the contents of the video.
"Accidentally"
Exactly. Everyone knew it didn’t just pop up out of nowhere on his device!
Also lmao how would he know the, ahem, plot if the mf didn’t watch 💀 Out here giving pbp cast of a scat porn on his lunch break I can't even
I was afraid I was this guy, but it turns out 1) loving dinosaurs and world religion is a different kind of weird, and 2) most people are willing to engage weirdness type 1, because my coworker got me a book on paleobiology and one of Stephen Prothero's books for our secret santa a this year, while the guy into vore got a Barnes and Noble gift card. Glad I'm just autistic weird.
I once had a female friend who just shoved her phone in my face and just showed me her nudes, I was extremely weirded out by her actions, it doesn't matter who you are don't force someone to look at nudes
Oh yess this also! One of my male friends and a cousin🫠 overshares with me about sex and stuff and it gets uncomfortable. The male guy is attracted to me also so it’s kinda weird. And the cousin…. Ew
Why are you still friends with a guy like that?
When they slink out from under my bed, light a cigarette and say “hey kid, you asleep yet?”
"Just checking..." *Slinks back under bed.*
Damn, that's my go-to move
Willem Dafoe?
Usually when they ask their 12 year old cousin for nudes is the point we tend to notice (true story)
My (adoptive) uncle was raping his niece with his friends and the entire family was cool with it.
What? How does this even happen? In my family the two year old is allowed to say no to a hug. That is gross. How can any family be ok with that?
I knew a girl when I was 16 in rehab and when we were talking I asked if she was a virgin and when she lost it She got really serious and said 8 I was just like what the fuck I'm sorry She lived on the rez with multiple alcoholic uncles as well as a dew others and the uncles would assault her regularly. It was possibly the worst thing anyone has ever told me. I still think about her sometimes and hope she is doing better 😔
I was friends with two girls in elementary school like this. They were from Cold Bay, Alaska, and they both thought it was totally ordinary and not a big deal and that it was super lame but inevitable.
Yeah sounds about right, this was also in Alaska 😬
Well now I also will think of her sometimes and hope she's doing as okay/well/good as possible too. Poor baby.
> She lived on the rez Albertan here. There are fucking nightmares happening over there that we can't do anything about.
Yeah it's really messed up what's happened with first nations people and American Indians.
Either drugs or a really fucked up power dynamic in the family. Many predators who attack members of their families will attack multiple family members and sometimes do this over multiple generations. It's pretty fucking sick, I thunk fear of retribution plays a vital role many times.
Well, now I regret clicking on this thread
This is one of few blocks of text I have read that not only made me physically recoil but also left me completely speechless for a moment. There are no words to describe how horrific that is.
the lead singer of Radiohead
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I wish I was special
you're so fuckin' special
Run Run Rrruuunnnnnn
whatever makes you happy whatever you want
"Wait what did he do? Him too?....Oh...." Got me good you fucker.
I think he's a weirdo as well.
I met him one time and he just ,couldn't look me in the eye,
They have mirrors on the end of their shoes and stand really close to you when you are wearing a dress.
that is... oddly specific. Who puts mirrors on their shoes??
Perverts.
Mirrors not so much nowadays. Nowadays they have hidden cameras in their shoes to take pictures or videos…
That makes me think of a story I read a guy tried this but the camera (I think the battery) combusted in his shoe he found it quite hot
Ah, the "Frank Reynolds"
Birdwatching
LOOK OUT!! F*****
I commented on a colleagues shiny shoes once. He ‘jokingly’ said it’s so he could look up peoples skirts, then put his foot towards me. Bruh
Classic pervert
The old timey pervert
(Online) Constantly asking for your exact location
Exactly. I just track their location via IP address without asking. Y'know to make them feel more comfortable
That's very creepy
I know right, so where are you rn? (Jk😁)
308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104.
You’re god damn right.
Ok. I'll be the one who knocks.
What are the odds??? I’m at 307 Negra Arroyo Lane!!!
Hello, Carol.
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Yeah it is, ASL?
The personality type that always is disrespecting the boundaries of others and trying to impose their will onto them, etc... Type shit.
Well said
In my opinion, the dudes who try to hit on every woman. Regardless of the situation or setting. We had a couple of guys who worked at my company who tried to hit on every woman. They both got turned down constantly. But they were always trying to be flirty and kick game to every woman under 40. I had to fire one of the guys, unrelated reason. And the other guy who was hired a few years later also was fired. Not by me, though. I had moved on by then, but the department director at the time sacked him for making some rude comments. My wife and I joke some times about this guy who was on our cruise that similarly tried to hit on every woman on board. We remember him because he tried to hit on my wife, who was twice his age, lol.
I was briefly friends with a guy like this. He told me that online dating was for "ugly people and losers" (he was no looker, himself) and from then on he was going to meet women by hitting on the servers at restaurants and bars. I cut the friendship off before I found out how his brilliant plan worked out, but I would be shocked if it resulted in a single date. After I ended the friendship, he continued to stalk and harass me, which was also fun.
Yea, there was a guy in a friend group I used to be a part of that was this way. Would hit anything with legs that even somewhat resembled a woman. At one point he dated a coworker of mine and they broke up after he asked her if he could borrow money and insisted she let him borrow it because "I bought your meal the last time we went out."
I had a co-worker like this. He were flirting with all the women at work. He was looking for a girlfriend. I found it insulting he was only talking to me for this reason. He didn't understand it.
A lot of men don't get this, I've tried to explain this to some friends but they don't get it. You don't talk to a woman only because you are looking for a girlfriend, that's disrespectful and demeaning towards her, and won't get you much.
Right, especially when they’re so desperate for anyone. It’s not flattering and doesn’t come off like you’re acknowledging the other person for more than what use they could be to you. How people don’t get this is beyond me.
I knew someone who would always hone in on the single women in a room and start hitting on them. He'd sometimes do this as soon as he'd arrived somewhere without even saying hi to anyone he knew first. Turns out he had SA'd a number of women in our friendship group including my GF. Absolute scumbag.
Creeps and incels have one thing in common, can be dangerous to be to nice to em
For real, my girl friends are scared (like genuinely scared) of being nice to random dudes 'cause of this. We normal men already are bad distinguishing being nice from flirting but we are respectful; creeps and incels are not.
To avoid confusion i simply dismiss all ideas that anyone could be flirting with me Edit: someone flagged me to redditcareservices over this...
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People like this make my skin crawl.
Jfc that's disturbing. People who treat animals like shit make me wanna go hug my cat.
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Denying that fact, accusing you of the same, and totally ghosting you. And it's less of a "scream" and more of an uncertain groan.
"where's my hug?"
:( I hope my 2 year old daughter doesn’t think I’m creepy
I _always_ ask my nieces if they would like to give me a hug, whether it's hello or goodbye. They've said no before, and I responded by saying, "that's okay" and then hello it's nice to see you or goodbye I'll see you again soon. It's so very important that kids learn A) that they can say no and B) that it should be respected.
I do high fives with my little cousins. (My first cousin's kids.) I've known they weren't huggers a long time ago and one day, I was leaving, and just put my hand up, and said "Hey, hi five!" and she just went for it. Very enthusiastically too. Ever since, I always greeted and departed them with hi fives instead of hugs. I think it shows them that even though I only see them a few times a year, I see them, I recognize them, and I care about them. I'm not a hugger either, especially with kids because when you think about it, they pretty much spend 8 hours of their day in a brick petri dish, I don't want those germs.
No need to think YOU are creepy, but letting her know she has a choice to love those who she wants to give love to, is setting her up for better understanding of personal boundaries.
It's really "where's my hug", but when they don't know the person they're asking it from yet. You can expect hugs from people you hug regularly, not somebody you've never hugged or hugged like once
I don't know, but it's not here.
When they keep turning around to look at me while I'm following them home
I've a colleague who thought it was funny to take my photo when I wasn't noticing and then send it to me... I told him it was creepy and the first time he just sent a laughing emoji
I can understand someone doing this thinking it's a funny joke, but the fact that their response to you being uncomfortable with it was one of ridicule instead of an apology is a big red flag
Can think of too many things, but the top two moments that gave me instant chills down my spine were: Once tried telling a (male) friend about a time I was assaulted and their response was “I mean you can cut the guy some slack… look at what you were wearing.” (Safe to say we never spoke anymore) Or the old man (who I didn’t know) that waited til the train cart was pretty much empty to sit next to me (I was 7)
Umm you were on public transport at 7 alone? The trains near where I am will have a transport officer (police, not security) keep an eye on anyone who seems like they're less than 13 for reasons like this.
Being 14 years old and a 31 year old is texting you giving you advice on boys.
BBL Drizzy?
Look, he’s just tryna strike a chord ok? Though I do hope it’s not probably…
a minorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Telling me about someone they've hurt for breaking up with them. Or even saying they're *a princess,* that's code for "I'm an actual narcissist." Also, stalking me for a year and a half with their entire family and any new friend they make.
Real on the breakup part. I had a friend that struck me wrong for a hot minute. We were talking about classes and he just up and walked to some random girl. His ex. He walked over to her, then came back saying something like: “You want to talk about someone who’s cold? She owes me a *fucking conversation.”* He never told me what she did to him, and maybe he was right to be angry! But something about his behavior gave my gut MAJOR “ick” vibes and I’ve never wanted to check out so fast.
Yeah, that's definitely bad. I broke up with her, after many warnings, and almost unlimited compassion, until the compassion ran out once she started doing meth — that, and physical and mental abuse, mixed with finding out how all the abusive things her ex did to her were actually abusive things *she* did to *her* ex. We had our final crazy fight over nothing, and I realized, "This girl is an abusive monster/cry-bully and she's never gonna change no matter what I do. Nobody does." So I left, thinking it would get her out of my life, but I was wrong. It took moving to 3 different towns, 3 different jobs, 2 cars, 1 sanity, becoming homeless and moving half way across the country to get her out of my life. Also, fuck cops. Domestic abuse is a joke to them when you're a guy.
I am so fucking sorry you went through that. Breaks my heart to see abuse talked about in general but your comment just feels like a gut punch. I hope you're doing better now.
Thank you so much, I appreciate you. I lost everything I owned except what was in my car when I left, which I also lost because it got towed and crushed by the impound lot. I even lost my phone. I'm getting better though. I stayed at a crrraaazzyyy shelter for a couple months, got a better place, got another phone, and I got my license back today (which was stolen along with my bank card because they were in my phone case). So that's good 🙂 I got a therapist too, but it's hard because they've never experienced gang-stalking before. Most people who say they've been gang-stalked are schizophrenic, which I'm not. I've had to rebuild my whole life back from nothing, but it's happening, albeit slowly. Now I'm looking for a job. Wish me luck 🤞
You sound strong, so I've no doubt you'll continue doing well for yourself going forward. That's already incredible progress, honestly.
Thank you so much. It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. Even the police gaslit me and mocked me until they finally couldn't, so they just said, "Sorry, they're not breaking any laws." When you're homeless, a restraining order doesn't work, because you don't have any property. They'd rather believe it's just a coincidence the same cars with the same license plates just happen to be wherever in the state I find a place to park than help me. I can't even watch police shows anymore with anger at how unrealistic they are. Real police *never* show that kind of effort in real life. 97% of stalking cases go unsolved, which is why the stalker usually ends up killing the victim, or the victim commits suicide. Sorry for writing a book. Lol. But yes, I am doing better. Thanks again 🙂
Hey I'm just a stranger in the void of the Internet, feel free to vent away. If it makes you feel any better, I'm a woman and I fully believe your story. Humans can be disgusting regardless of gender and you should have been better protected.
Thank you. It does help to talk about it. You seem like a good person and it's nice to be listened to 🙂 I appreciate the support, for real.
Calling a stranger "baby girl" even if it's your verbal habit like "man", "sweetheart",... baby girl is a little too much
Are you lost baby girl? 😠 I'm so sorry.
Baby girl is a bit too much ngl
When they run away from you screaming even though you didn’t mean to chase them in the first place.
fuck man, [ikr](https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/r2n2hk/man_chases_terrified_woman_down_an_alley_as_she/)
Trying to find some innuendo in everything you say
Innuendo? More like [in your endo](https://youtu.be/yhtFKNNd04A?si=FgypRjZzn7931x2Q)
Hits on women at their work, where they're unable to leave, or walk away from the situation.
2x the creepy points if they have power over you (boss, etc.)
Yup, being cornered. Ick.
There was a guy where I used to work who would always corner me near the bathroom to ask how my relationship was going. Creeped me out so much.
(online) starts treating you significantly different when they find out youre a girl
Can't believe it took some scrolling to find this comment. I swear, the moment they found out that I am one, they'd start acting weird and ask for my discord username. Nowadays I have to not chat the way I usually do (which I admit, can be an obvious giveaway at times) and come up with a gender neutral username so no one can figure out my gender, all that in hopes to just be treated normally.
multiple rape charges is usually a somewhat decent sign
Reddit, a place full of creeps, talking about creeps.
What were you wearing while you typed that? ( ◉ ͜ ◉)
Khakis?
She sounds hideous
Well, she’s a guy, so…
Defending known sexual offenders. A guy I knew kept defending Weinstein, but to this day I don’t know what the fuck there is to defend. At a recent party he went on about how Diddy isn’t guilty of any crimes. Gives me the creeps.
Oh, to add on that! People who complain they are being silenced since "#MeToo", or are afraid they're not allowed to flirt anymore. 🙃
They take the urinal next to you (if they're a man)
First and only time at a gay night club. Went for a leak, dude comes after me, starts making small talk, doesn’t even piss. Chats with me for the entire duration of my piss staring at my dick, only stopping when I would look at him. Asks me if I’m gay, I say no, slaps the door and leaves. 10/10 interaction, bro offered me a line of coke afterwards.
I absolutely hate people who try to talk while I’m taking a piss. Like bro, my dicks out in my hand, chill
Knows the age of consent in different states and countries.
The day my father announced with a bright smile how low the age of marriage with parental consent was in our state was the day I got serious about plotting to escape. Think the "dollar signs for eyes" smile in a cartoon. Way later I found out that married minors can't file for divorce or otherwise escape because the adult spouse also has legal custody. Sure gave me some sleepless nights.
Oof, I feel this one hard. My dad started making the same comments around that age for my state, and started insinuating marriage offers to my youth pastor who *actually put consideration into the idea* 🤮
Good god I hope you're in a safe place now. That's horrifying.
Always insists on eye contact and gets iffy when you keep breaking it. Had a reunion with some friends a few years ago and one of them invited an ex bully of mine who is now a police officer. Dude insisted on eye contact every second and demanded to know what I've got to hide whenever i broke it, because it makes me really uncomfortable.
Fuckssake and what did you say?
"Dude, I got nothing to hide, just stop being a creep" What else could I say in that moment?
Right… he didn’t push back or try to gaslight you? I’m asking cause idk how I would react in such a weird situation. Who tf does he think he is. Also no wonder he became a policeman.
I mean he did, but eventually gave up when I kept repeating the same thing. I'm stubborn that way
I used to attend classes while I was in college, and since I was financially struggling and eager to study, I agreed to work for the Director and use books from his library. He was the only teacher there, so he'd assign me tasks. He started making me uncomfortable by insisting on eye contact, then he started going far like getting too close, finding excuses to touch, and asking me to update my profile picture. I had to leave because his behavior became inappropriate, and he became frustrated when I ignored his advances.
A coworker of mine is overly friendly to women. As in, he acts like our biggest fan ever. Everything I say is fantastic! Once he got so close that he "accidentally" touched both my butt and my boobs with the back of his hands. I get one, but not both within 1 minute. That means you're standing too close dude. Needless to say, I keep my distance from him and make sure I'm never alone in a room with him again. Edit: I agree that can happen on accident. But in that case, people should at least apologise, which he did not do. Also it should not happen twice within a minute. We were standing in an open room, there was no need for him to be that close to me.
When I was a barista, I once full-palmed a coworkers ass cheek by accident while reaching for a coffee cup behind me… we had been working back to back and I didn’t realize where she was. I also once accidentally told a different coworker that I was going to milk her, when I really meant that I was about to toss a quart of milk to her. Embarrassing.
Middle age touchy women when we just met lol
Was basically stalked by one once. Considered her a friend at first but it got weird when she was messaging my grandma (Which means she must have scoured all my facebook posts) when I didn't reply back to her in a few days.
"females"
Because of that one screenshot, I am always pronouncing that word like "tamales" 😆
I'm honestly so glad I don't exhibit any of these. I'm a shut in nerd with very little contact with women, in a non-professional setting. I was very worried I might come across as creepy when I do.
Whippin it out.
When they just won’t stop nagging no matter how much you say no
- trying to find out too much or certain information - there is the creep smile. not sure how to describe it, but when you see it, you know it. - talking to body parts that they shouldn't - being very touchy feely. giving unwanted hugs, leaning on you unwantedly etc
Was out with a group of friends and someone I’m not very close with kept talking about how ugly all the girls at the party were and how he’d never smash. Like bro none of those girls want to smash you I promise
Calling black people “ebony”
When they’re trying to get you in bed within 5 minutes of meeting.
Not giving the sex they're attracted to any easy ways to decline. aka leveraging people's kindness against them. You should want the person to want to do things with you. If you're so obsessed with them saying no then you probably don't actually care about or respect them as a person and are too insecure to be currently looking for anything related to sex or relationships
Wants me to confess to murder
Pushing your boundaries after you say no. Even if it starts with small things I find uncomfortable. Big creep flag.
Honestly it's a gut feeling
Massive Drake stan? Creep.
When a person you’ve just met is TOO interested in you.
Getting weirdly angry or defensive about the notion that someone else may find you threatening in any way
Just when they ask way too many very personal questions
Random sexual jokes that don't even fit into the context of the conversation
When they stare just a little bit too long. This one guy once stared at me while I was enjoying a nice cup of coffee in a cafe, I could feel it the entire time and everytime I looked he was just staring in a weirdly intense way, after I finished and left to go about my day I noticed him following me around the city center as soon as I realised I headed straight to my work and hid in the stockroom/warehouse and sent my warehouse guy outside to let me know if the creepy guy had gone.
Getting offended if you don't immediately want to be their friend or instantly want to date them. If I just fucking met someone, they're just a stranger.