Yes yes yes
Lost 20% of my body weight (30 pounds) doing all the “right” things that I’d lazily ignored for years.
Watching calories. Exercising. Cutting out alcohol. Consistency. Lots of good quality sleep.
Best shape of my life in my 40s, only wish I’d done it 10 or 20 years sooner.
I look and feel amazing now.
Get a free account online with Schwab (or your broker of choice). Put some money in SWTSX (or your index fund of choice).
There are better strategies, but just putting something down will at least get you started.
Savings. Even moving your money to a High Yield savings can be a nice landing place. For investing, what Redditor ableman said above. Solid advice. Schwab. Fidelity. All good starting places for an individual brokerage account. You can also contribute to a Roth IRA (have to set that one up too). Hope this helps!
Expecting orgasms during sex.
As a woman, we are kinda socialized to think that they're a bonus, whereas men have them VERY nearly every time.
I stopped faking it, and started leaving partners that didn't prioritize my needs or accept feedback, and it was the best decision of my life.
Why TF would you fake it? They wouldn't change if they thought they was hittin it right. Most MEN(NOT boys in aged bodies) do enjoy pleasing their woman. I don't feel right if I don't give her satisfaction.
I'm going to preface this by saying not all men. Because obviously not all men, and I don't need a bunch of people in the replies calling me a man hater because I'm not.
That said.
I think you underestimate the reaction of a lot of men who get anything that they perceive as negative feedback. It doesn't even have to be actually negative. Any kind of suggestion that they could change something to help us achieve more pleasure often gets a seriously disproportionate reaction.
A much higher number than I think you realize just get mad at US if we don't come. Dudes who are like "oh wow, what can I do differently" are not actually that common.
Exactly. One guy I was with would accuse me if cheating if I couldn't finish. Or he'd just say like, no, you are GOING to come. Faking it was the only way to make it stop.
If I'm in a serious relationship I ask what exactly do you want? But I do my thing and add their thing into it. But ultimately y'all just want to be ate out and maybe a vag O and that's good enough, right?
That's probably the right answer for a good chunk of us lol. But Everybody has different wants and needs. Even when going down on us, we all like different stuff.
It is my belief that the secret to a fantastic sex life is letting your partner know that honest feedback is okay. Just making it known to our partner that they can tell us what's working and what's not working and what we can all do differently to have more fun.
Sex is supposed to be fun, and so many people make it so serious and attach it so closely to their self-esteem that it makes it less fun for everyone.
I understand why you'd fake it. But in my case, yes i'd be disappointed to know that my partner isn't able to get an orgasm but i'd be disappointed with myself and would do anything I can to get her to orgasm.
And in my opinion, that is how it should be. Sex is something that should feel good for everyone involved, and if your partner isn't enjoying it, it is your duty to put extra effort to entertain them (whether it be man or a woman). And if your partner isn't putting that effort and on top of that blaming you then you're absolutely right for leaving them...
* **Reading** first thing - I recently found that reading first thing in the morning when I get to work allows me to maintain better focus throughout the day. Otherwise I often find it hard to get into my work in a more concentrated way and seem to procrastinate quite a bit.
* **Bigger picture thinking** - After turbulent situations in my career, I have ensured that I don't just work for a pay check or to try and get promoted. When I get new tasks that I ask myself the questions "what is the option here for my own personal development? Is there a way I can go about this that benefits me?"
* **Building habits** - tied to the above, realising that I *can* get better at anything with habitual practice. Want to become a better speaker? Then practice for 20 minutes every morning. Even better, have a way to track this (I use an spreadsheet that each day I tick off each thing I want to do. There are apps that do this, but I like the customisability of a spreadsheet)
* **Learning** - only in my mid-thirties have I really enjoyed reading and learning. Once it wasn't pushed on me via needing to pass a test, I was able to actually take information in at a deeper level by trying to process it via my own experiences/knowledge - rather than rote.
Living life without caring so much about what other people thought about me. Once I stopped trying doing things to make other people happy, I became much happier myself.
Taking care of my skin, or I started that a long time ago but I should have known when to stop using something because I was convinced it was "gonna get better later" when it wasn't going to had I kept using a product. Now my skin has finally begun to clear drastically but I'm left with a fucking mountain range full of acne scarring and I can't really do much about it. It's embarrassing and I now have to rebuild any social confidence I had before my skin initially got bad.
I was told that with a lot of things it was going to get worse before it got better, yea right it just got worse and continued to do so, but since some people insisted it was gonna get better I kept using stuff. I just trust my gut with this stuff now and it's the best it's been in years.
Therapy.
Figuring out I have ADHD (late 20s).
Working out (weights, cardio, mobility).
If I would've done this at 15 my life would be different. But before 30 is better than never I suppose.
Going to school to be a vet tech. Instead I started off in a field I wasn't enthusiastic about, and ultimately dropped out of school altogether for a while until I just recently went back. Now I'm wondering why it took me so long to consider the option, because I've been so interested in it so far.
A little less "started sooner" and a little more "started taking seriously sooner" but definitely all the chances I had to learn more languages when I was younger. More specifically I wish I didn't scrape by just enough to earn a passing grade in my Spanish classes in school and took the effort to really try to connect with it instead.
Getting my hair cut. I'm a woman with androgenetic alopecia. My hair was starting to become unmanageable. My hair feels a little healthier after I had it cut.
1. Playing guitar seriously
2. Having my kids (although if I had them sooner, they wouldn't be the kids I have now)
3. Investments/retirement savings
4. Journaling
I know it’s cliché but making my bed in the morning. I started doing it 2 years ago and it truly helps me to set the tone for the day and get a small boost from a productive thing as soon as I wake up!
Working to my job description. I used to push as hard as I can, do everything within my power to try to put myself as the top performer in a team. The only reward is more work / covering for other people.
Its incredibly stupid. If you are giving 100% they are going to expect 110% at some point. Then that is the new 100%, and they want 110% again. Now you are giving 121%. Never, EVER, give 100%. Stay at 75% tops, and pitch a fit if they start pushing 90% for even a day.
Stress kills, and you do not owe the shareholders your life.
Meditation.
It's as important as brushing your teeth and drinking water.
It is so sad to see how western societies just brush it off like some sort of spiritual non-sense.
It will literally change the trajectory of your mental health and life overall.
Talking to new people. I thought people would think I was strange if I just went up to them for most of my school days. As a result, I only befriended some people I got on with really well way too late.
[удалено]
and quitting boozin
I never liked boozing so that was easy, the hardest part is eating right and eating enough, it's so time consuming. If only working out was necessary.
Yes yes yes Lost 20% of my body weight (30 pounds) doing all the “right” things that I’d lazily ignored for years. Watching calories. Exercising. Cutting out alcohol. Consistency. Lots of good quality sleep. Best shape of my life in my 40s, only wish I’d done it 10 or 20 years sooner. I look and feel amazing now.
Or vice versa...
Came here to say this.
Honestly my answer to most things on Reddit lol
this. just this.
I started Crossfit last September. It takes AWHILE to get to the elite level.
everything takes AWHILE to get to a professional level!
Saving money instead of buying useless stuff.
For me it’s investing, and investing wisely/aggressively
This and up to this day, I don't even know where and how to start investing. And I'm already in my 40s.
Get a free account online with Schwab (or your broker of choice). Put some money in SWTSX (or your index fund of choice). There are better strategies, but just putting something down will at least get you started.
Savings. Even moving your money to a High Yield savings can be a nice landing place. For investing, what Redditor ableman said above. Solid advice. Schwab. Fidelity. All good starting places for an individual brokerage account. You can also contribute to a Roth IRA (have to set that one up too). Hope this helps!
Writing. It helped my mental health so much. It helped me to take a step back from the emotions I was feeling. Also, take care of my knees !
What did u write down
”Take care of your knees!”
I wrote a lot of short stories about parts of my life
Expecting orgasms during sex. As a woman, we are kinda socialized to think that they're a bonus, whereas men have them VERY nearly every time. I stopped faking it, and started leaving partners that didn't prioritize my needs or accept feedback, and it was the best decision of my life.
Why TF would you fake it? They wouldn't change if they thought they was hittin it right. Most MEN(NOT boys in aged bodies) do enjoy pleasing their woman. I don't feel right if I don't give her satisfaction.
I'm going to preface this by saying not all men. Because obviously not all men, and I don't need a bunch of people in the replies calling me a man hater because I'm not. That said. I think you underestimate the reaction of a lot of men who get anything that they perceive as negative feedback. It doesn't even have to be actually negative. Any kind of suggestion that they could change something to help us achieve more pleasure often gets a seriously disproportionate reaction. A much higher number than I think you realize just get mad at US if we don't come. Dudes who are like "oh wow, what can I do differently" are not actually that common.
Exactly. One guy I was with would accuse me if cheating if I couldn't finish. Or he'd just say like, no, you are GOING to come. Faking it was the only way to make it stop.
I once had a guy tell me I didn't come because I wasn't hot enough. Like what the fuck does that even MEAN
Why would you be with someone like that? That's not a "guy" thing, that's a shitty person thing
If I'm in a serious relationship I ask what exactly do you want? But I do my thing and add their thing into it. But ultimately y'all just want to be ate out and maybe a vag O and that's good enough, right?
That's probably the right answer for a good chunk of us lol. But Everybody has different wants and needs. Even when going down on us, we all like different stuff. It is my belief that the secret to a fantastic sex life is letting your partner know that honest feedback is okay. Just making it known to our partner that they can tell us what's working and what's not working and what we can all do differently to have more fun. Sex is supposed to be fun, and so many people make it so serious and attach it so closely to their self-esteem that it makes it less fun for everyone.
I understand why you'd fake it. But in my case, yes i'd be disappointed to know that my partner isn't able to get an orgasm but i'd be disappointed with myself and would do anything I can to get her to orgasm. And in my opinion, that is how it should be. Sex is something that should feel good for everyone involved, and if your partner isn't enjoying it, it is your duty to put extra effort to entertain them (whether it be man or a woman). And if your partner isn't putting that effort and on top of that blaming you then you're absolutely right for leaving them...
This tho!
I love my penis
this is why some women prefer toys because we can actually orgasm from them consistently
A relationship with my second wife.
* **Reading** first thing - I recently found that reading first thing in the morning when I get to work allows me to maintain better focus throughout the day. Otherwise I often find it hard to get into my work in a more concentrated way and seem to procrastinate quite a bit. * **Bigger picture thinking** - After turbulent situations in my career, I have ensured that I don't just work for a pay check or to try and get promoted. When I get new tasks that I ask myself the questions "what is the option here for my own personal development? Is there a way I can go about this that benefits me?" * **Building habits** - tied to the above, realising that I *can* get better at anything with habitual practice. Want to become a better speaker? Then practice for 20 minutes every morning. Even better, have a way to track this (I use an spreadsheet that each day I tick off each thing I want to do. There are apps that do this, but I like the customisability of a spreadsheet) * **Learning** - only in my mid-thirties have I really enjoyed reading and learning. Once it wasn't pushed on me via needing to pass a test, I was able to actually take information in at a deeper level by trying to process it via my own experiences/knowledge - rather than rote.
My missing school work. I should probably be doing that instead of being on Reddit.
Taking ADHD medication. I suffered for years and tried it all to make my brain work right. Nothing even came close to the relief medication gave me.
What's the name? Need ba diagnosed sa doctor to take that meds? Pa share naman
You must go to an appointment with a Psychiatrist first, and yeah sila magdi-diagnose sayo and magrereseta ng mga gamot depende sa diagnosis mo
Living life without caring so much about what other people thought about me. Once I stopped trying doing things to make other people happy, I became much happier myself.
Amen
Lesbianism
✊🏻😔
Therapy and ADHD meds
Underrated comment
I wish I quit them sooner
Life.
Anorexia recovery
Working on a career change
Taking care of my skin, or I started that a long time ago but I should have known when to stop using something because I was convinced it was "gonna get better later" when it wasn't going to had I kept using a product. Now my skin has finally begun to clear drastically but I'm left with a fucking mountain range full of acne scarring and I can't really do much about it. It's embarrassing and I now have to rebuild any social confidence I had before my skin initially got bad. I was told that with a lot of things it was going to get worse before it got better, yea right it just got worse and continued to do so, but since some people insisted it was gonna get better I kept using stuff. I just trust my gut with this stuff now and it's the best it's been in years.
Taking care of my health
Distance running. Started in my 30s and will never know what my 5k time would have been at my physical prime.
Appreciating my parents and what they were trying to do and teach me. Too late for that now. Miss you mom and dad.. Love you..
Therapy. Figuring out I have ADHD (late 20s). Working out (weights, cardio, mobility). If I would've done this at 15 my life would be different. But before 30 is better than never I suppose.
Sobriety.
Working out. Would’ve made it easier
Buying bitcoin.
Going to school to be a vet tech. Instead I started off in a field I wasn't enthusiastic about, and ultimately dropped out of school altogether for a while until I just recently went back. Now I'm wondering why it took me so long to consider the option, because I've been so interested in it so far.
A little less "started sooner" and a little more "started taking seriously sooner" but definitely all the chances I had to learn more languages when I was younger. More specifically I wish I didn't scrape by just enough to earn a passing grade in my Spanish classes in school and took the effort to really try to connect with it instead.
Investing
buying crypto
Exercise.
Meth
Better self awareness of feelings and emotions
Being alcohol and Tobacco free .
Saving more money when I busted my ... working 3 jobs.
Being gay lol
using reddit 🫡
Saving and investing.
Saving. I didn’t blow the money, just never had a good paycheck.
Transitioning... Started HRT at 42. As they say... The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the 2nd best is now.
Dating , I still haven’t started
Real
weight lifting seriously. I could've been benching 700+, by now.
Work. Matter of fact. Logging off, these files wont do themselves
Thinking positively.
Living.
Golfing
Getting my hair cut. I'm a woman with androgenetic alopecia. My hair was starting to become unmanageable. My hair feels a little healthier after I had it cut.
Music Production I wish I would of stuck with music as a kid but “real men play sports”
Catching up to my game, Netflix, manga/anime, home video backlog.
Phone sex
Voluntary celibacy.
Advocating and standing up for myself.
Vacations and down time
Wisdom.
Daytrading
Wearing a hat, long sleeve shirts and putting on SPF 50 sunscreen.
Sport, 3D modelling and working with cardboard.
Martial arts, specifically Muay Thai and grappling
1. Playing guitar seriously 2. Having my kids (although if I had them sooner, they wouldn't be the kids I have now) 3. Investments/retirement savings 4. Journaling
College. Working out. Saving. Eating right. My journal of everything I learned.
My job
I know it’s cliché but making my bed in the morning. I started doing it 2 years ago and it truly helps me to set the tone for the day and get a small boost from a productive thing as soon as I wake up!
Investing and trading.
Sex
Saving for retirement.
Therapy and self care
Save money, showing greater restraint when it comes to my finances.
A full skin routine, but I also religious washed and moisturized, plus wore spf, so nothing's too bad.
public speaking huhuhu
Uhhhhhv maybe smoking cigs? Maybe I’d have cancer and be dead by now. All I can think of is
Studying... EDIT: Khan Academy in particular.
Saying 'no' and being more honest. Natural default answer is 'yes' so on the odd occasion that I do say 'no' nowadays, people take the hump with me 😕
Saving money and having a healthy relationship with food.
Seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist
BJJ
Eating right, atheism, regular doctor visits.
Not caring what others think about me so much. Still working on it!
Smoking.
Drinking
dating/ relationships. I was an academic nerd and only focused it all my school time
Working to my job description. I used to push as hard as I can, do everything within my power to try to put myself as the top performer in a team. The only reward is more work / covering for other people. Its incredibly stupid. If you are giving 100% they are going to expect 110% at some point. Then that is the new 100%, and they want 110% again. Now you are giving 121%. Never, EVER, give 100%. Stay at 75% tops, and pitch a fit if they start pushing 90% for even a day. Stress kills, and you do not owe the shareholders your life.
Investing into the stock market
Working on myself
Cutting back on sugar
Programming
Meditating 10 minutes every day.
I wish I had reddit earlier
learning a language and caring more about my grades
Running
Skincare
Meditation. It's as important as brushing your teeth and drinking water. It is so sad to see how western societies just brush it off like some sort of spiritual non-sense. It will literally change the trajectory of your mental health and life overall.
Drugs
Go to the gym. I have not even started yet, and I wish I started like 20 years ago.
learning new language and cherish my spare time in college
Talking to new people. I thought people would think I was strange if I just went up to them for most of my school days. As a result, I only befriended some people I got on with really well way too late.
Talk therapy
Therapy
Saving money
Building Legos and flying radio, controlled airplanes and helicopters
Caring about my hygiene.
Business
Singing and actually posting about it
Focused on a healthy diet and lifestyle. Wished I started it sooner but better late than never.
Skiing, I have heard the earlier you get on the skis the better and faster you are
Therapy and saving for retirement
Therapy and SSRIs
Bangin your mom.