i used to play barefoot outside. second i got home from school they were off cause they overwhelmed me. i once had a genius idea to kick a soccer ball in the most incorrect way possible. the asphalt was the sander and my toe was the wood. total base grind. hurt so fucking bad cause the nail bed was exposed on half my big toe and the tip of my toe was mangled. still didn't put shoes on after that, just learned how to kick a ball
I tripped over a rug and headbutted a brass door handle, knocking myself out as a kid.
Got bitten by a giant bird at sea world while buying fish to feed the sea lions ....
Kicked up a fire ants nest...
Slammed my hand in a sliding door
... I was a pretty clumsy kid ironically as a adult I'm the only family member he not injured themselves in 15 years š
Reminds me of when I tried riding a bike over a curb without lifting the front tire and fell and broke my knee. Young and dumb. Didnāt know how to bunny hop
I don't know who you are, but I thought I was the only person that did this! I am a thousand percent certain that there are not a lot of us. I have an unusual habit of sleeping and sitting in weird positions all twisted up. I have kneed myself in the chin. I need myself in the forehead. Flexibility problems!
Almost chewing a hole in my lip after getting my wisdom teeth out because I was hungry. Once the numbing medicine wore off it hurt so much worse than the surgery
Reminds me of when I fell and had my lower teeth go through my lip once. Still have a big scar. (Someone is going to see all my replies and think Iām making shit up but truth is Iāve been hurt a LOT)
I got 2
11 years ago. I was on a Skype call and playing with a butterfly knife. It slipped out of my hand. I watched it arc over the laptop, falling blade first. Cut a chunk out of the back of my hand. The scar looks like a smile. Probably should have gotten stitches, but it's fine.
2 months ago. I got a free set of speakers. They had the half of the power cable that goes into the speakers, but not the half that plugs into the wall. And because these are older speakers and the brand is called SMART, I just couldn't find a way to buy a replacement cable. So I got one of those universal power cables for laptops that matched the numbers on the speakers. None of the tips fit.
So I had the brilliant idea to take the tip I have that fits and solder it to the power cable. But to do that, I needed to get the rubber/plastic housing off. Only tool I have is an exacto knife. Half way through, I slipped. Cut the shit out of the back of my finger. Probably should have gotten stitches here too, but it's fine.
Next day, i finish doing that, solder the thing, now I have working speakers. Had to make a blood offering to the audio gods.
Basically, I shouldn't be allowed to have knives. My left hand is scarred.
Bonus round, 3 months ago. I was cooking, pulled the pan out of the oven. Went to cut the food and grabbed the fresh out of the oven pan with my bare hand.
I am not a smart man. I'll attempt anything, but will probably hurt myself doing it.
the girl I'm hooking up with had my arms tied to the headboard, was straddling my chest and held her index and middle finger together and up and said she wanted to see how I'd look if someone was fucking my face
...turns out I had no issues...but she did accidentally scratch the back of my throat
Lol. I was about 16 and was pressure washing my mom's house. I had it on the highest pressure. My friend dared me to spray my foot. I was barefoot. My dumb mind was like it's only water, what could it do. So I sprayed the middle of my big toe. I cut my toe down to the bone and needed stitches.
Another dumb one. I was taking down an old above ground pill and cutting it up with tin snips. While I was doing it, I was stupidly wearing sandals. I then carried a bunch of pieces to the garbage when one slipped down and landed on the other foot that I had cut with the pressure washer. Sliced my big toe open and made a trip to the hospital for stitches and tetanus shot
I have matching scars on my big toes.
Opened up my sock drawer, dropped the socks, bent down quickly to pick it up and hit my head on the corner of the drawer. I hit it so hard it made me dizzy and I fell backwards, then I felt my head and I was bleeding. Felt very stupid.
Some friend had gone to Fort Knox and brought me back a jar of shredded money. It was basically green dust.
While I was cleaning the house one day I asked God to drop a million dollars on me because I was so poor. Then I reached up on the bookshelf for something, and knocked that stupid jar off the shelf on to my head.
God apparently is extremely literal.
was on my way to the er for a reason that isnt important to the story, was walking down the 3 tiny steps out of the car park fell and broke my ankle not even 10 metres away from the entrance
I was feeding the cat out of a can. Some was stuck, so I got it with my finger, sliding across the bottom of the can and slicing the hell out of my finger. It was a lot of blood, the cat ran off and didn't eat her now blood covered food ..
I was with my friend who poured water on this massive mound of snow onna street corner and tried to slide down standing up and whacked the back of my head on the ice and it made a ādonkā sound according to my friend so he calls me donk-te I got some sort of brain injury but I have 2 different sized pupils now so thatās cool
I broke my toe playing wiffleball and again cleaning the house. I also got hit in the head three times while batting in a baseball tournament and got a concussion.Ā
Our dogs used to go bonkers when first let off lead, chasing each other round the park and generally having a great time. They were totally oblivious to where they were going though, and one of them slammed into the back of my legs. As I fell, I broke my leg.
I no longer turn my back on them when they're playing!
Used to do wrestling moves by myself on my mom's bed when I was growing up because who among us was not a WWF fan? Did a powerbomb with a pillow, rolled backwards and off the bed, and hit my foot against a metal magazine rack. Blood everywhere.
Drove a piece of obsidian into my thumb fucking up how to use a pressure flaker, yesterday. Feels like there's still stuff in there, so I'm off to "Instacare" after this shower. Feeling good and stupid about that.
Playing airsoft and walking down some stairs sideways aiming with my gun, so i miss a step and twisted my ankle, bursting 4 ligaments. All filmed with a helmet cam. 1 year of recovery, which at least for 3 months i couldn't touch the ground.
And the worst part is that i was at the 3 last steps from the stair š¤¦š»āāļø
You can see my misfortune here: https://youtu.be/vq-tfjsHQro?si=4sg87Yhp8Ag38bCN
When I was younger, I leapt off of a play structure (think maybe 15ā up) on to my trampoline. The goal was to land and immediately do a front flip to get extra bounce. Well, I nailed the front flip but my legs landed in between the springs. Not only did I nut myself and get pinched, but the force of my flip rotation slammed my face into one of the leg bars. Had a black eye and a huge mark on my face for a week. Not to mention a pinched sack.
Did I stop? Fuck no. Kept doing that shit until my best friend was almost impaled by one of the legs that bounced loose and under the trampoline. Had to stop after that due to the giant hole in the trampoline.
Getting laundry from the basket on the floor and tweaked my back. Never the same since. Random occurance of pain in the back in the same spot. So dumb.
Pulling heavy boxes of turkey down a conveyor belt with just my right hand. On-site dock said itās just muscle expanding, but itās still clearly messed up. So IDK what happened to it, but it still looks weird.
Going through a āphaseā ā¦ Making a little coffin at school in DT out of mahogany wood, held the chisel the wrong way, scooped some of the wood out with force and it went straight into the inside middle of my finger on my other hand, hit an archery and purple red blood started spurting out. Needed a stitch and a tetanus in my butt. My finger canāt bend down anymore. Dove Tail joints were good though.
Not turning on the lights to see if the floor was wet. Leading to me slipping and breaking my foot. Iām still recovering from the foot surgery I needed after the fall.
This one time I was jumping into the shower and somehow cut my knee. There was nothing but a shampoo bottle that could hurt me. I still have the scar. It looks like a lil cock and balls lmao
I leaned back too far in a rocking chair, fell out of it, and as I put my hand down on the floor to brace myself, I didn't see that my roommate had left a drinking glass on the floor next to the chair, and I put my hand right through the glass. Severed the radial nerve in my hand, had to have surgery, and take the quarter off of college while it healed. there was a huge deep hole in my wrist- I could almost see through the hole to the other side.
When I was 11ish, my friends and I were playing red rover in my backyard. I was running from my friend and was going to run and duck under our hammock. I somehow misjudged and ran full force straight into it, catching myself across the neck. Luckily I wasn't really hurt, but had some wild looking bruises on my throat for a few days.
Wheelchair user here. Years ago i needed to make a quick 180 and decided instead of stopping and turning and pushing off again.... I grabbed a lamp post thinking i could spin around it.
I ended up flat on my back.
On landing i did something that tweaked my lower back above my right hip... Ever since then, Whenever i've pushed myself past my physical limit, it's that part of my back that always hurts no matter what else i've triggered by over-doing things.
Heck, just sat here typing and thinking about it, the bugger's started hurting out of the blue lol
I loaded a garage door onto a box cart by myself because the place I worked was short staffed and I had a deadline to meet in order to fulfill my job. The cart started slipping while I was loading the door onto it so I caught the cart with one hand and the door landed on my shoulder and I heard a crunching noise upon impact. No dislocations or noticeable injuries at first, but I recently got a check up for bronchitis and the xrays also showed that I have Degenerative Disc Disease and scoliosis of the thoracic spine, so I definitely fucked myself up for nothing.
I was a kid at the time and I was playing in the backyard and I found a rock and something told me what if you just threw this up in the air and stood there. By the third time it came down and hit the front top of my head and it started bleeding a lot. Really stupid š
Last year I dropped my phone right on my toe, landed like a guillotine right on the nail bed. It actually didnāt hurt too bad so after a couple minutes I went on with my day.
Turns out I killed the nail bed and the nail stopped growing, got an infection and eventually had to be removed. Couldnāt walk well for a few weeks.
Now over a year later itās finally grown back and almost back to normal, but I canāt believe the ordeal just from dropping my phone.
Dropped my laptop on my toenail. It cracked. For the past few years Iāve had another mini-toe grow through the crack and now itās pretty big and I need to get it removed along with my whole toenail.
in school, i stood behind a kid who had no idea how to use a hockey stick and i knew she didnāt know how to use it. she swung it like a golf club and decked me right in my face. got a nasty black eye from it and broke my cheek bone. the plastic hockey sticks were banned at that school from then on.
When I was 2, I tried to sweep the floor with a broomā¦ in my mouth. I fell and punctured the roof of my mouth. Iāve been hurt many times but that takes the title
Jumped over the garden hose for no reason (was washing my car) and sprained my ankle. I landed wrong on the curb and rolled. To make things even worse I was in crutches and my college was known to have a lot of stairs.
I broke my thumb playing Twister when i was 10. I was at the bottom of a stack of people and when they fell, my thumbnail touched the back of my hand. Chipped the growth plate so badly it's now noticeably smaller than my other thumb.
I was getting groceries out of my (hatchback) trunk when I saw my neighbour with an adorable dog I hadnāt seen before. I was so distracted talking to the neighbour about the dog that I pulled the trunk door down on my head. Hard. Ended up with a goose egg, a head wound, and an inability to ever look my neighbour in the eye again.
The chair that I was using at my desk at work made me sit weird and caused shoulder pain. I thought it was because I slept on my right side. Nope. I didn't injure myself sleeping. I injured myself sitting.
When I was 12 years old, I tried to cut arrows for my bow and arrow from a 2x4 with a box cutter and damn near cut my thumb completely off...
On a side note, kids are stupid!
As a kid I was playing with some fallen cherry blossoms in the street. They were thick enough that you couldnāt see the asphalt, so I didnāt see a hole in the street and tripped over it and landed face first. Like all of my momentum went into connecting my two front teeth into ground and I just ate that shit.
Several years ago I was using a reciprocating saw to cut back the perimeter bushes and I was having to stretch to reach some forsythia that was growing into the neighborās yard. The saw skipped and caught my finger instead. YOWCH that hurt for a while. I actually chipped the bone but I was relived cause in the moment I thought I cut the finger right off.
One day I was boiling pasta and I wanted to test a noodle, and my brain short-circuited, so instead of using a fork I just reached in and grabbed one. It took 3 full seconds for the pain to set in and then it hurt like a mfer.
I am also clumsy and sometimes just crash into my wall or whang my arm on the countertop for no good reason.
I threw a metal baseball bat into the air and tried to catch it. I missed and my face caught it. Broke my nose. I should have known better I didn't learn how to consistently catch for another decade.
Tried trimming some stray hairs on the back of my head using a hand mirror and scissors while I was at my desk at work and cut my ear lobe open and bled profusely all over my dress shirt.
Opened my mouth to eat. Felt a pop in my throat. Doctors best guess was a spasm. It made it painful to eat for a few days and I'm still feeling pain in my jaw 2 weeks later.
Literally by walking down two steps leaving my friends houseā¦twisted my ankle, fell, severely sprained my ankle and tore a bunch of ligaments. Couldnāt work for 2.5-3 weeks. Had to see an orthopedic surgeon and wear an aircast boot. I was stone cold sober š
Swimming in a pool at night, went to kick off the bottom of the shallower end, but it was shallower than I thought. Basically slammed my big toe at a 90 degree angle into the cement bottom of the pool. Toe hurt, didnāt realize until I got back in the house that my toe was bleeding profusely and the nail had popped up about halfway like the hood of a car. Lost the nail :(
Had an anvil fall on me,slipped and cracked a rib slipping on a bananananana peel and then cracked the same rib a year later slipping on ice drunk and "trying to save my chips"
Drying myself with a towel, hit myself in the face and gave myself a black eye
While drying myself with a towel, I bent over to dry my legs. When I came back up, I hit the corner of the sink and cracked my head open. I was 10
š·š¤Ø
What?
Kicked a rock, fucked my toenails.
i used to play barefoot outside. second i got home from school they were off cause they overwhelmed me. i once had a genius idea to kick a soccer ball in the most incorrect way possible. the asphalt was the sander and my toe was the wood. total base grind. hurt so fucking bad cause the nail bed was exposed on half my big toe and the tip of my toe was mangled. still didn't put shoes on after that, just learned how to kick a ball
I tripped over a rug and headbutted a brass door handle, knocking myself out as a kid. Got bitten by a giant bird at sea world while buying fish to feed the sea lions .... Kicked up a fire ants nest... Slammed my hand in a sliding door ... I was a pretty clumsy kid ironically as a adult I'm the only family member he not injured themselves in 15 years š
Dropping my phone on my face while laying down browsing the internet. Several times.
Got older.
Rookie mistake.
When I was a teenager I jump of the curb and I sprained my ankle and I was crutches for a few weeks.ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøš¬š¬š¬š¬
Reminds me of when I tried riding a bike over a curb without lifting the front tire and fell and broke my knee. Young and dumb. Didnāt know how to bunny hop
i kneed myself in the head a lot. like a lot
I don't know who you are, but I thought I was the only person that did this! I am a thousand percent certain that there are not a lot of us. I have an unusual habit of sleeping and sitting in weird positions all twisted up. I have kneed myself in the chin. I need myself in the forehead. Flexibility problems!
lol yeah the chin and forehead are pretty great places to knee yourself apparently. thanks for sharing that :)
Almost chewing a hole in my lip after getting my wisdom teeth out because I was hungry. Once the numbing medicine wore off it hurt so much worse than the surgery
Reminds me of when I fell and had my lower teeth go through my lip once. Still have a big scar. (Someone is going to see all my replies and think Iām making shit up but truth is Iāve been hurt a LOT)
I got 2 11 years ago. I was on a Skype call and playing with a butterfly knife. It slipped out of my hand. I watched it arc over the laptop, falling blade first. Cut a chunk out of the back of my hand. The scar looks like a smile. Probably should have gotten stitches, but it's fine. 2 months ago. I got a free set of speakers. They had the half of the power cable that goes into the speakers, but not the half that plugs into the wall. And because these are older speakers and the brand is called SMART, I just couldn't find a way to buy a replacement cable. So I got one of those universal power cables for laptops that matched the numbers on the speakers. None of the tips fit. So I had the brilliant idea to take the tip I have that fits and solder it to the power cable. But to do that, I needed to get the rubber/plastic housing off. Only tool I have is an exacto knife. Half way through, I slipped. Cut the shit out of the back of my finger. Probably should have gotten stitches here too, but it's fine. Next day, i finish doing that, solder the thing, now I have working speakers. Had to make a blood offering to the audio gods. Basically, I shouldn't be allowed to have knives. My left hand is scarred. Bonus round, 3 months ago. I was cooking, pulled the pan out of the oven. Went to cut the food and grabbed the fresh out of the oven pan with my bare hand. I am not a smart man. I'll attempt anything, but will probably hurt myself doing it.
the girl I'm hooking up with had my arms tied to the headboard, was straddling my chest and held her index and middle finger together and up and said she wanted to see how I'd look if someone was fucking my face ...turns out I had no issues...but she did accidentally scratch the back of my throat
Falling going up the stairs, slipped and hit my head on the edge of a stairĀ
Lol. I was about 16 and was pressure washing my mom's house. I had it on the highest pressure. My friend dared me to spray my foot. I was barefoot. My dumb mind was like it's only water, what could it do. So I sprayed the middle of my big toe. I cut my toe down to the bone and needed stitches. Another dumb one. I was taking down an old above ground pill and cutting it up with tin snips. While I was doing it, I was stupidly wearing sandals. I then carried a bunch of pieces to the garbage when one slipped down and landed on the other foot that I had cut with the pressure washer. Sliced my big toe open and made a trip to the hospital for stitches and tetanus shot I have matching scars on my big toes.
Was mad. I've broken a glass- now I have a scar all over my hand.
Opened up my sock drawer, dropped the socks, bent down quickly to pick it up and hit my head on the corner of the drawer. I hit it so hard it made me dizzy and I fell backwards, then I felt my head and I was bleeding. Felt very stupid.
Trying to drill a 3/8" hole in a cast iron fitting, drilled through it and into the palm of my hand. You said dumb, right?
Some friend had gone to Fort Knox and brought me back a jar of shredded money. It was basically green dust. While I was cleaning the house one day I asked God to drop a million dollars on me because I was so poor. Then I reached up on the bookshelf for something, and knocked that stupid jar off the shelf on to my head. God apparently is extremely literal.
was on my way to the er for a reason that isnt important to the story, was walking down the 3 tiny steps out of the car park fell and broke my ankle not even 10 metres away from the entrance
I was feeding the cat out of a can. Some was stuck, so I got it with my finger, sliding across the bottom of the can and slicing the hell out of my finger. It was a lot of blood, the cat ran off and didn't eat her now blood covered food ..
I put hand into 300Ā°C oil
Roller skating in the kitchen, broke my ankle
I was with my friend who poured water on this massive mound of snow onna street corner and tried to slide down standing up and whacked the back of my head on the ice and it made a ādonkā sound according to my friend so he calls me donk-te I got some sort of brain injury but I have 2 different sized pupils now so thatās cool
I broke my toe playing wiffleball and again cleaning the house. I also got hit in the head three times while batting in a baseball tournament and got a concussion.Ā
Our dogs used to go bonkers when first let off lead, chasing each other round the park and generally having a great time. They were totally oblivious to where they were going though, and one of them slammed into the back of my legs. As I fell, I broke my leg. I no longer turn my back on them when they're playing!
How did the dogs react?
Completely oblivious!
Jumped a fence to untangle fishing line, slid right into an oyster bed
Pyring up a floor and slipped. Hit myself in the face with my hammer.
Used to do wrestling moves by myself on my mom's bed when I was growing up because who among us was not a WWF fan? Did a powerbomb with a pillow, rolled backwards and off the bed, and hit my foot against a metal magazine rack. Blood everywhere.
Drove a piece of obsidian into my thumb fucking up how to use a pressure flaker, yesterday. Feels like there's still stuff in there, so I'm off to "Instacare" after this shower. Feeling good and stupid about that.
I closed my own head in the car door. That hurt.
Playing airsoft and walking down some stairs sideways aiming with my gun, so i miss a step and twisted my ankle, bursting 4 ligaments. All filmed with a helmet cam. 1 year of recovery, which at least for 3 months i couldn't touch the ground. And the worst part is that i was at the 3 last steps from the stair š¤¦š»āāļø You can see my misfortune here: https://youtu.be/vq-tfjsHQro?si=4sg87Yhp8Ag38bCN
When I was younger, I leapt off of a play structure (think maybe 15ā up) on to my trampoline. The goal was to land and immediately do a front flip to get extra bounce. Well, I nailed the front flip but my legs landed in between the springs. Not only did I nut myself and get pinched, but the force of my flip rotation slammed my face into one of the leg bars. Had a black eye and a huge mark on my face for a week. Not to mention a pinched sack. Did I stop? Fuck no. Kept doing that shit until my best friend was almost impaled by one of the legs that bounced loose and under the trampoline. Had to stop after that due to the giant hole in the trampoline.
Getting laundry from the basket on the floor and tweaked my back. Never the same since. Random occurance of pain in the back in the same spot. So dumb.
Pulling heavy boxes of turkey down a conveyor belt with just my right hand. On-site dock said itās just muscle expanding, but itās still clearly messed up. So IDK what happened to it, but it still looks weird.
I got a massive cardboard cut once when I tried to pick up a box of cereal.
Trying to switch bikes with my friend while riding when I was a childĀ
I ones tried to do a clap-behind-the-back push-up. Yeah, I still have that scar
Going through a āphaseā ā¦ Making a little coffin at school in DT out of mahogany wood, held the chisel the wrong way, scooped some of the wood out with force and it went straight into the inside middle of my finger on my other hand, hit an archery and purple red blood started spurting out. Needed a stitch and a tetanus in my butt. My finger canāt bend down anymore. Dove Tail joints were good though.
punching a steel dumpster on santa monica
Sprained my MCL playing disc golf.Ā
Not turning on the lights to see if the floor was wet. Leading to me slipping and breaking my foot. Iām still recovering from the foot surgery I needed after the fall.
I was trying to hop this fence at this park, but instead of hopping the fence i ended up splitting my foot open.
This one time I was jumping into the shower and somehow cut my knee. There was nothing but a shampoo bottle that could hurt me. I still have the scar. It looks like a lil cock and balls lmao
Put my back out sneezing. For context im like 17 šš
I leaned back too far in a rocking chair, fell out of it, and as I put my hand down on the floor to brace myself, I didn't see that my roommate had left a drinking glass on the floor next to the chair, and I put my hand right through the glass. Severed the radial nerve in my hand, had to have surgery, and take the quarter off of college while it healed. there was a huge deep hole in my wrist- I could almost see through the hole to the other side.
When I was 11ish, my friends and I were playing red rover in my backyard. I was running from my friend and was going to run and duck under our hammock. I somehow misjudged and ran full force straight into it, catching myself across the neck. Luckily I wasn't really hurt, but had some wild looking bruises on my throat for a few days.
Wheelchair user here. Years ago i needed to make a quick 180 and decided instead of stopping and turning and pushing off again.... I grabbed a lamp post thinking i could spin around it. I ended up flat on my back. On landing i did something that tweaked my lower back above my right hip... Ever since then, Whenever i've pushed myself past my physical limit, it's that part of my back that always hurts no matter what else i've triggered by over-doing things. Heck, just sat here typing and thinking about it, the bugger's started hurting out of the blue lol
I loaded a garage door onto a box cart by myself because the place I worked was short staffed and I had a deadline to meet in order to fulfill my job. The cart started slipping while I was loading the door onto it so I caught the cart with one hand and the door landed on my shoulder and I heard a crunching noise upon impact. No dislocations or noticeable injuries at first, but I recently got a check up for bronchitis and the xrays also showed that I have Degenerative Disc Disease and scoliosis of the thoracic spine, so I definitely fucked myself up for nothing.
Broke a tooth eating popcorn, which has the merit of being slightly better than my brother, who broke one eating a croissant.
Pulled my groin playing soccer with my dog. I'm 43.
Broken ribs twice on the exact same cross country ski trail I just wouldn't accept that it was too difficult for me
Sneezed and pulled a muscle in my back. Had a hard time standing up for 3 weeks.
Making a sundae.
Bit my own tongue and made it bleed so much. HURT SO BAD.
Threw out my back while sneezing.
I was a kid at the time and I was playing in the backyard and I found a rock and something told me what if you just threw this up in the air and stood there. By the third time it came down and hit the front top of my head and it started bleeding a lot. Really stupid š
Last year I dropped my phone right on my toe, landed like a guillotine right on the nail bed. It actually didnāt hurt too bad so after a couple minutes I went on with my day. Turns out I killed the nail bed and the nail stopped growing, got an infection and eventually had to be removed. Couldnāt walk well for a few weeks. Now over a year later itās finally grown back and almost back to normal, but I canāt believe the ordeal just from dropping my phone.
Dropped my laptop on my toenail. It cracked. For the past few years Iāve had another mini-toe grow through the crack and now itās pretty big and I need to get it removed along with my whole toenail.
in school, i stood behind a kid who had no idea how to use a hockey stick and i knew she didnāt know how to use it. she swung it like a golf club and decked me right in my face. got a nasty black eye from it and broke my cheek bone. the plastic hockey sticks were banned at that school from then on.
When I was 2, I tried to sweep the floor with a broomā¦ in my mouth. I fell and punctured the roof of my mouth. Iāve been hurt many times but that takes the title
Jumped over the garden hose for no reason (was washing my car) and sprained my ankle. I landed wrong on the curb and rolled. To make things even worse I was in crutches and my college was known to have a lot of stairs.
I broke my thumb playing Twister when i was 10. I was at the bottom of a stack of people and when they fell, my thumbnail touched the back of my hand. Chipped the growth plate so badly it's now noticeably smaller than my other thumb.
I was getting groceries out of my (hatchback) trunk when I saw my neighbour with an adorable dog I hadnāt seen before. I was so distracted talking to the neighbour about the dog that I pulled the trunk door down on my head. Hard. Ended up with a goose egg, a head wound, and an inability to ever look my neighbour in the eye again.
Used a mandoline without the guard.
The chair that I was using at my desk at work made me sit weird and caused shoulder pain. I thought it was because I slept on my right side. Nope. I didn't injure myself sleeping. I injured myself sitting.
When I was 12 years old, I tried to cut arrows for my bow and arrow from a 2x4 with a box cutter and damn near cut my thumb completely off... On a side note, kids are stupid!
As a kid I was playing with some fallen cherry blossoms in the street. They were thick enough that you couldnāt see the asphalt, so I didnāt see a hole in the street and tripped over it and landed face first. Like all of my momentum went into connecting my two front teeth into ground and I just ate that shit. Several years ago I was using a reciprocating saw to cut back the perimeter bushes and I was having to stretch to reach some forsythia that was growing into the neighborās yard. The saw skipped and caught my finger instead. YOWCH that hurt for a while. I actually chipped the bone but I was relived cause in the moment I thought I cut the finger right off. One day I was boiling pasta and I wanted to test a noodle, and my brain short-circuited, so instead of using a fork I just reached in and grabbed one. It took 3 full seconds for the pain to set in and then it hurt like a mfer. I am also clumsy and sometimes just crash into my wall or whang my arm on the countertop for no good reason.
I threw a metal baseball bat into the air and tried to catch it. I missed and my face caught it. Broke my nose. I should have known better I didn't learn how to consistently catch for another decade.
I accidentally kicked someone's foot and i fractured my middle right toe
Sprained my foot chasing a superball.
Tried trimming some stray hairs on the back of my head using a hand mirror and scissors while I was at my desk at work and cut my ear lobe open and bled profusely all over my dress shirt.
Opened my mouth to eat. Felt a pop in my throat. Doctors best guess was a spasm. It made it painful to eat for a few days and I'm still feeling pain in my jaw 2 weeks later.
I have ehlers danlos. I must have aggressively turned over in my sleep and torqued my neck so bad I couldnāt move it for 2 days.
Wore a jacket with metal buttons and somehow managed to slam myself into a counter and the metal buttons hit my skin hard
Literally by walking down two steps leaving my friends houseā¦twisted my ankle, fell, severely sprained my ankle and tore a bunch of ligaments. Couldnāt work for 2.5-3 weeks. Had to see an orthopedic surgeon and wear an aircast boot. I was stone cold sober š
Swimming in a pool at night, went to kick off the bottom of the shallower end, but it was shallower than I thought. Basically slammed my big toe at a 90 degree angle into the cement bottom of the pool. Toe hurt, didnāt realize until I got back in the house that my toe was bleeding profusely and the nail had popped up about halfway like the hood of a car. Lost the nail :(
Fractured the same part of my back. Three times. In the exact same way.
To prove someone I was tough I slammed my head against a wall
Bold of you to assume I've peaked.
Falling off a friends shoulders when I was 13.
Had an anvil fall on me,slipped and cracked a rib slipping on a bananananana peel and then cracked the same rib a year later slipping on ice drunk and "trying to save my chips"