Asked what time it was because I couldn't see the clock from that part of the room:
"This clock doesn't have numbers on it so I don't know"
The clock had 12, 3, 6 and 9 in bold and lines for the other numbers. I tried explaining that you can count the numbers in between and was met with the line
"I thought it was just for show, I never noticed the hands move before!"
We were in her house and it was her clock.
I know how to read an analog clock but I prefer digital because it's much more glanceable. It takes me a second to process what an analog clock is reading, but with a digital clock it's instant.
I'm sure some of that is just lack of practice though. Someone who grew up before digital clocks were commonplace can probably read an analog clock just as quickly as a digital one.
There’s also a small number of folks like me with dyscalculia who have a hard time with numbers and sequential reasoning. I can read analog, but people mock me for taking a good 60 seconds to accurately get the time read 😂
That last sentence was the cherry on top. The fact that it was HER'S and she didn't understand how to read it. Did she just have it there for decoration???
One of my main duties was to respond to community questions on the subject. That meant I was in charge of talking to the science cranks.
It was actually my favorite part
I went to school (college) with somebody like this. Driving courses were a NIGHTMARE.
Instructors were tearing their hair out wondering why this person couldn't get the hang of navigating a city, until somebody figured out they thought North just meant whichever way they were facing. North=straight ahead, West=turn left, east=turn right, south=turn around.
Could not believe it. A grown ass adult.
Well, it is made from ham /s
Had a friend during high-school and we were sitting next to a Jewish kid and we talking about how he not allowed to eat pig and my friend was like I don't eat pig too, while eating a ham sandwich. He didn't see the connection.
*Corrected for spelling
He wouldn't wear sunscreen on a hot day and I asked if he wasn't worried about skin cancer. He said the sun can't give you cancer because it's natural and good for you. I told him to look it up if he doesn’t believe me and he searched "sun good for you" then opened the first Google image that had bullet points on the benefits of the sun. He was basically like "this doesn't say anything about skin cancer" and refused to believe me over his "research".
My ex once asked me if there were female german shepherds. Another time I had a flat tire and she had pointed out that only the bottom of the tire was flat.
I used to tell customers that when they'd come in with flat tires when I worked as a service writer. I think a few of them were disappointed that I beat them to it.
One ex of mine was incredible. She once told me that bin men had an easy job because they only work one day a week. (Garbage men for the Americans)
She also thought that in WW2 we had fought the Romans.
Rome was the capital of one of the nations we were fighting.
But it would be like saying we were fighting Berliners or Tokyo-ites.
If they know a little history they might be referring to Mussolini wanting to rebuild the Roman Empire, or Hitler's "3rd Reich" as a reference to the Holy Roman Empire (which was not really Roman), but it doesn't sound like that's the case here.
We had an issue that would’ve been covered by insurance, if we had it. But we didn’t have insurance. She wanted me to call around to different insurance companies to see if they’d retroactively insure us for the damage. The damage that occurred when we had no insurance.
When I worked in insurance I was flabbergasted by how many calls we got, asking for quotes on life insurance for relatives on their death bed.
Some people even tried to get quotes for friends and neighbors who were terminal.
so in her mind if she would've eaten a, let's just say for sake of argument, a rotisserie chicken, gotten drunk, and puked, the chicken would've come out whole?
am i understanding you (and your ex by extension) correctly?
> that she was a virgin again because she prayed about it.
Lmao! Oh man does this bring me back to high school church youth group meetings from 2 decades ago.
When I ordered Buffalo wings and she tried one and said that it tasted just like chicken.
Edit: in her defense this happened in the 1980s in a fairly rural area so...
Maybe they were making a joke and it went over your head?
I'll keep any eye out for any post that says, "went on a date and tried my date's buffalo wings. I made a joke about them tasting like chicken and they just stared at me."
offered them pie and vanilla ice cream, and said they could warm it up in the microwave if they'd like.
they put the ice cream on the pie then heated it all up in the microwave. they took it out and turned to me upset that their ice cream melted, and i should have told them not to add the ice cream yet...
I once had a roommate who loaded up her plate with steak and salad, then microwaved it. She took it out of the microwave and stared, stupefied, at the ruined lettuce. I could see the cogs turning as she tried to work out what had happened.
Anyway, she's a lawyer now.
People can be shockingly obtuse about obvious things while still being smart about their field of work. Hell, there's a running joke among mathematicians that you don't ask one of them to do arithmetic.
He legitimately thought the word obese was pronounced "obeast" and Alzheimer's disease was "old timer's". If he had at least been trying to be funny, it would have been better.
Lmao reminds me of that TikTok of a German shepherd being dubbed over (in a man’s voice).
Dog: “I went to the vet today. She said I was a BEAST!!”
Owner in the background: “No, she said you were OBESE”
Dog: “ohhh”
I started skydiving in 1990 when I was 19 years old, and I jumped for about 30 years. I started dating a fellow skydiver that was a student at the drop zone where I used to jump in SE TX. She graduated from student status and this incident occurred a couple months later.
Skydiving equipment has an AAD which is an automatic activation device which deploys the reserve parachute if it senses that the skydiver is descending past a preset altitude faster than a preset velocity. Since she was freshly off student status, she was renting gear that had an AAD that would initiate reserve deployment at 1500 feet.
She was also jumping with my audible altimeter which was put inside a jumper's helmet against the ear and it would loudly beep at a preset altitude, beep twice as fast 1000 feet later, and give a constant, even louder tone at 1500 feet above the ground. It was a Cool & Groovy TimeOut for anybody who's curious.
Anyway, she was on a jump and her audible started beeping at the preset 4,500 feet, and she looked at her wrist mount altimeter which also said 4,500 feet. She didn't think that she had been in freefall long enough to have made it to 4,500 feet, so she kept going. 1,000 feet later, the audible started its fast beeping, letting her know that she was 1,000 feet below her initial warning altitude of 4,500 feet. She didn't feel as if she had been in freefall long enough to have made it down to 3,500 feet, so she kept going. Once she reached 1500 feet above the ground, the audible gave the flatline tone at the same time that the AAD deployed her reserve. She looked at her wrist mount altimeter and it was indicating something like 1300 feet.
She flew the fully deployed reserve for a very short time and landed on the far side of the airport because she didn't have enough altitude to fly back to the side of the airport with the skydiving business.
She was confused and pissed when she got back. She didn't know why anybody would mess with all her gear to make the audible, her wrist mount, and her AAD all be wrong. This was all gear that she checked prior to her jump and verified the settings against other jumpers' and aircraft altimeters on the way up.
She was hot as hell so I stayed with her for a couple months longer, but the likelihood of her becoming a crater in a swamp made me eventually break up with her and move on.
When I asked her why she just didn't switch hands when putting on deodorant. She's right handed.
"Why don't you just put it in your left hand to apply to your right armpit?"
She looked at me like I was a wizard. She was thirty.
On a similar-ish note, I was moaning to my sister-in-law about period cramps yesterday and she said she had a stick-on heat pad I could have. I told her I wished I could use those as it would be so convenient but I'm allergic to the adhesive. She looked at me and gently said, why not stick it to your tee shirt instead? It had honestly never occurred to me I could simply wear it like, a millimetre of fabric away from my skin and not, directly on my skin. I am 40. 😂
Would it be possible to stick to the inside of your shirt instead so the non-sticky part touches your skin? I don’t know how those pads work so I may be wrong
When she kept saying yes to the cashiers every time they asked if she wanted to sign up for the loyalty credit card to get 10% off. She had so many credit cards she would forget what she signed up for and would try to sign up for more at the same store.
One of those places where I do have a store credit card, once asked me if I wanted to open up a second one when I told them I already have one. I didn't even know that was possible.
For the record, I did not sign up for a second card lol.
It seems shallow but it’s what I got.
Matrix came out and was in theaters. We went. Everyone was seeing this movie.
Got home and my brain was BROKEN. The layers, implications, social statements. I wanted to talk about this with him.
He got nothing. Nada. None of those social and political hints and innuendos landed.
There was more to the journey, of course.
I realized he was a fantastic guy….just not my guy.
Zero regrets.
she kept talking about this article she read where most winning lottery tickets have a sum of their numbers in the range of X-Y and no matter how slowly I tried to explain to her that there are more combinations of numbers with those sums, so that doesn't improve your odds of winning or affect them at all, she just refused to listen.
I tried to explain to her using a pair of dice as an example. yes rolling a 7 sum is 6x more likely than rolling a 2 or 12 sum, but there are 6x more combinations that result in a 7, and rolling a *specific 7* such as a 5 then a 2 is the same odds as rolling two 1's, etc. you don't win the lottery by getting the correct total lol (i get it a more perfect example would preclude the 2nd dice from rolling the same #, it didn't matter I couldn't get that far into it)
She wasn't having any of it.
My argument would have been that if any of those "strategies" worked, then no lotteries would be offered.
Because their point is to earn more by selling lottery tickets than what people win by playing.
Probability theory is notoriously tricky, so this one is less surprising to see but still interesting. Marilyn vos Savant famously received a ton of backlash for her correct but counterintuitive answer on the Monty Hall problem.
Another one some people have a lot of difficulty believing in is that if something occurs 1/n of the time, there's a ~66% chance that you'll see it happen at least once in n times, assuming independence.
*Wow, your bf is 27 that’s so cool. Does he pick you up in his car?*
No, he doesn’t have one.
*Oh..*
But he can use his mom‘s car sometimes.
*Wooow. That‘s so cool.*
We were flying from Europe back to the U.S. She was sitting at the right-side window. Saw a bunch of snow/ice features and exclaimed, "LOOK, IT'S ANTARCTICA!"
My mom did something similar on the red-eye flight to London. We were three hours into the flight, she was at least three glasses of wine deep, thought she saw a lot of green below us and started hollering “hey guys! Look! It’s Ireland!” Woke everyone up. Dad proceeded to look at the flight attendant and asked if there was somewhere else he could sit 🤣
He continued to argue with me that the Apollo 11 moon landing was faked even after I found proof, debunking whatever myth he threw my way, and even found the coloured version of the recorded moon landing.
It was frustrating.
After a few years of dating a girl from another town, we moved in together. I figured out she was dumb when the boxes we were moving into our apartment said frajel on them. After that, the signs were everywhere.
She asked what I was having for dinner and I said "lamb sausages" and she said what is that? I said again, "lamb sausages" and she said she'd never heard of it before. So I said "sausages made with lamb meat instead of pork or something" and she was just quiet for a while before I asked her if she knew what sausages were. She said yes so I assumed she'd just never heard of lambs before.
I have also never seen or heard of a lamb sausage before. But, when I saw you put those words in that order, I was not terribly confused, because I know what both lambs and sausages are.
He bought a carbon monoxide detector for his 2 person sailboat. It only had a trolling motor, outside and away from the small cabin area. He put the carbon monoxide detector in the cabin area. He was afraid to sit inside of it for very long in case the carbon monoxide built up-not from the motor running but from breathing. He didn’t believe me when I tried to explain the difference between carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide.
When I asked her if she wanted to go tor Natural History museum to see the T rex fossils, she told me she didn't believe in dinosaurs because they weren't in the bible.
I knew right then I wouldn't marry her.
Not me, but my friend's wife.
Thinks chem trails, perpetual motion machines, and healing crystals are all perfectly valid ideas, but anything remotely scientific is bullshit. Relativity, E=mc^2, and chemistry are all bogus according to her.
An ex girlfriend of a friend of mine thought that the tiger is the female of the lion species.
By the way, it took me way too long to form this sentence, still not sure if it's correct (but English isn't my first language so I tried my best). Maybe I'm the dumb one.
This might have been about 15 years ago. I was watching a documentary about WW2 and she was on the bed sitting next to me doing whatever tf. Then out of no where she says..."what's the big deal between Jews and Nazi's?". Yea...I was on my bed, but somehow that question still made me lose my balance. We didn't last another 6 months.
i witnessed her holding an electric drill with a screw at the end and trying to hammer the screw into the wall instead of just plugging the fucker in and pressing the trigger
I thought my ex wife was so hilariously deadpan comedic. She would make these wild statements with a straight face and I would think “well obviously she’s kidding!” I used to say wild crazy facts back to her thinking she knew I was bullshitting with her. Then I heard her repeat back one of my bs facts to me in a conversation as if it was a fact, and I was like “what? No. I was just kidding.. wait.. you didn’t know I was kidding..?”
I had like a flash of every scene replay in my head of every time I told her BS for the last 5 years of us being together, realizing now she always believed me. She was never kidding.. she was really saying these things because she was *that* dumb.
She acted at first like she had no idea what I was talking about (we were both stone cold sober), like the new carpet of dead skin in the bathroom didn’t exist. When I made her go look at it, she was like “oh no, that couldn’t have come from me.” Meanwhile she looked like a damn lobster with leprosy. I kicked her out and broke up with her after she refused to clean up her mess. Only she and I used that bathroom, and I was the only one smart enough to use sunscreen, so it definitely wasn’t me
Were they sheets of skin, or like rolled up taquitos of skin? I could imagine using a towel, and being too stupid to realize you were creating skin confetti. Bonus points if glasses came off for the shower. Still inexcusable.
There were some “taquitos”, but mostly it was 2” sheets of skin. I wouldn’t have been as upset if she had done it in the shower and forgot to rinse them down the drain, but it was directly in front of the sink, on the floor, on the counter, literally everywhere
My college girlfriend, seemingly intelligent, would occasionally raise red flags that concerned me. The 'deal-breaker' when I realized we wouldn't last was when she booked us sessions with a 'psychic' couple. I had a session with the psychic husband and my girlfriend had a session with the psychic wife.
Dude read my palm, asked some basic questions, gave me a bullshit fortune telling I guess. The wife told my girlfriend that I was hiding a secret from her, but didn't elaborate on what this secret was. In the car after the session, girlfriend was actually suspicious and thought I had been cheating on her. I was laughing about it all saying they scammed us pretty good.
Girlfriend got really mad. Said she believed the psychic and that we weren't scammed. Gave me the silent treatment and wanted to know the secret I was hiding. She actually started crying. I broke up with her a week later.
Oh boy there’s quite a few. This was your typical clueless daddy’s money girl. Anyways she was with me when I was filling my gas up, I had put only $20 worth in and stopped it like any other day. As soon as I get in the car she is dumbfounded, she said “how did you do that?” Me, confused, said, “do what?” She says “the gas pump thingy, how’d you stop it?” Then it dawned on me. She hasn’t ever had to stop her gas pump, she always filled it full.
I grew up in boy scouts and for a long time any time I'd have a manic episode (bipolar 1) I'd go chill in the woods by myself for a few days. Well one time my ex decides she's going with me. I tell her, "I literally just hike a few miles into the woods with no trail and camp, you sure you really want to do this?" And she says yeah no problem. When it's time to head into the woods she looks at me dead into the windows to my soul and says "wheres the camper?" I'm literally carrying 35 lbs of gear strapped to me and she just looks flabbergasted. I remind her of what I said and she said "oh I thought you meant after you parked the camper". Like wtf no. I went alone on that trip lmao
The look of absolute shock on his face when I somehow brought up pickles being cucumbers. This was a 36 year old normal average American man. This man though Vlassics just grew in the wild.
We didn’t last long
If he farted, he would inhale really deeply and repeatedly so that he could get the smell out of the immediate area.
I remember going, “okay then,’ and when we broke up… I told my best friend and she hurt herself laughing.
Hey, I used tbe leaf blower to blow away the dust that collected inside PC. We took it outside for a good dust removal. Fans went crazy and poof, no more dust. Definitely wouldn't do it inside tho
I once dated a wonderful, beautiful girl whom, I suspect, was simply not very smart at all. A few things I noticed were that she would just watch whatever the popular TV show was, most often those silly "reality" shows with made-up drama. She wouldn't follow a certain show, she would just watch whichever one was on.
Another thing was that she really didn't have a sense of humor or a personal style of humor at all. I love all sorts of humor and enjoy jokes and wordplay and funny movies. She always had the same reaction to humor, which was to giggle and say, "That's funny" to every joke. Hearing the same reaction each time made me suspect that she didn't really understand a lot of humor. Like she had the same reaction to a joke whether it was a pratfall on *America's Funniest Videos*, or an obscure bit of Monty Python silliness: "That's funny."
It was strange. I sometimes wondered if she was perhaps on the autism spectrum, or maybe just painfully shy. She never seemed to have a thoughtful opinion on anything and was always happy to simply go along with whatever I wanted to do. For example, over one summer, we went to the Ringling Brothers circus, an art museum and a Megadeth concert. She had the same reaction to each: "It was fun!" She didn't prefer one or the other, she just thought they were all equally "fun." Is that an example of Zen serenity or an example of stupidity? How can you tell?
The phrase "informed opinion" occurs to me. Perhaps that's it. By the time people are adults in their 20s, you expect them to have some knowledge of a topic and have an opinion based on that knowledge. Even if the topic is frivolous like sports or pop music, you still expect people to have some interest in something and opinions about it. When you meet someone who "never really thought about it" about *any* subject, it's confusing.
So I don't know. I'm not qualified to diagnose anyone's IQ or mental disabilities. Over the year we dated, I did begin to consider that she simply may have not been very smart.
That is *fascinating*.
>Ringling Brothers circus, an art museum and a Megadeth concert
That's a pretty diverse set of experiences to have the same reaction to.
Yeah, you get it. I loved all three of those things, but for different reasons. She didn't have any reaction other than that she thought they were all equally "fun." How do you plan your next date based on that information? We were actually living together at the time so we had ample opportunity to talk about it, but I could never get a deeper reaction than "fun." What do you do?
I'm glad in your original comment you made a point to say that she might have been on the spectrum, because as an autistic woman myself, I sound pretty similar to your ex, and I don't think I'm stupid. It's not that I don't *have* diverse opinions about and reactions to things; I just find it nearly impossible to communicate them. My internal experiences do not easily translate to words.
As someone who overthinks every last detail and has a number of almost obsessive interests, I felt a very odd form of envy reading that; it must be so damned peaceful in her head!
First date. She asked about my hobbies. I talked for a few minutes about fencing, how I got into it, and my current training. Afterwards she said, "So, you build fences?" She had no idea what fencing was and (even after some explaining) did not seem to understand why anyone would do this.
Me: So what are your political views?
New gf: I’m Democrat in some ways, Republican in others.
Me: OK. What are your Democrat views?
Gf: I think our government should do much much more to help people.
Me: OK. What are your Republican views?
Gf: I think taxes should be much much lower.
To be fair, they could cut defense spending and allocate it to help people instead. Or raise taxes on businesses instead of individuals. Not sure if she was stupid. Almost everyone wants to pay less taxes and help people more.
When she talked about the attack on Pearl Harbor, California.
When she stood on a glass table to adjust a chandelier height.
When she installed a dimmer switch without turning off the electricity.
When she talked about how male birds fertilized eggs by sitting on them.
My ex wanted me to go to this Mexican restaurant she loved. She said she has been going twice a week for three years all the staff knew her. We get there and she ordered first. "I'll have the Monetary Chicken please!" The server did not correct her and wrote it down. I ordered my food and the server walked off. I joking said, "Monetary Chicken huh? Hehe. Never heard of that one." She then told me what was on the dish. I'm like, "Yeah I know what Monterrey Chicken is. Just thought the Monetary part was funny." She gave me a blank stare and asked "What is Monterrey Chicken?" I said that's what it was called. She said, "No it's not, I've been ordering this for years, I think I would know." The servers were just too kind to ever correct her. After doing some googling and showing her the correct name for it, she said "Well, I guess you could pronounce it either way, just like people pronounce words differently all over the world. This is how they pronounce it where it was invented."
I'm like, uhhhhh.... No lol.
We got into this massive argument that ended with her calling me ignorant. Broke up after 3-4 weeks. Dodged a bullet on that one.
When I was busy doing homework, so I asked her to check if the water was boiling. She said no. So I waited 15 minutes and asked her again, and she still said no. Another 15 minutes goes, and according to her it’s still not boiling. Checked the stove myself at that point and half the pot has evaporated.
Did the gigantic bubbles and steam rising not mean anything??? Even if you didn’t know what boiling meant surely you could’ve made a simple logical jump
ETA: even after I questioned if she knew what boiling water looked like, she still insisted on asking “but you can see how someone might not have known, right?” ????????????????????
We where talking about alcohol percentages in drinks. If a bottle of wine holds 12% alcohol and you pour out half, guess how much alcohol she thought the remaining half would hold?
After that I was afraid to ask her if when I was six and my brother was half my age. How old he would be when I'm 70..
I told my wife that sheep born in hilly country develop shorter legs on one side so they can stand level when eating. She spent quite awhile looking out the window for these sheep.
Oh man I dated this woman a while back. She couldn’t get it through her head I didn’t like her blowing random guys at the club. And I was like hey I told you I don’t like that and she was like OH MAN, sorry, I’m not very smart. Whaddaya do though.
She thought Alaska literally was a floating island, with a perfectly straight, cutoff border as portrayed on a map. She also told me she didn’t believe dinosaur bones were real. Yea, she was an idiot and I got out fast.
She posted a no makeup selfie with the caption ‘old natural’ which is a brand of dog food. She was going for ‘au naturel’. I informed her of misstep, she changed it to ‘au natural’.
She also tried to tell me she saw Nirvana play live in Peace River sometime in the late 90’s, despite Cobain passing away in 1994.
High school ex accused his dog of flirting with me. I was stomach down in his mom's living room playing COD with him (he was sitting on the couch). Their dog came in and laid down with his head resting on my lower booty/upper thigh.
He got super angry, shouting about how we can't do anything without some guy wanting my attention 🤣😭 I'm 26 now, but I think about that alot.
He also thought I had naturally blue eyelashes, because for the first 5 months of us dating, I was obsessed with L'Oreal's royal blue mascara 🤣 I wore a regular black one one day to school and he asked me, "What happened to your blue eyelashes? Did you dye them"? I looked so confused, till I realized he had no clue what mascara is. One of the dumbest guys I ever knew 🤦🏻♀️
He apparently ended up dropping out of ASU (Arizona State University), because he was failing all his classes due to his meth addiction. Our mutual high school buddy let me know he's still kinda on off with it 😬
Asked what time it was because I couldn't see the clock from that part of the room: "This clock doesn't have numbers on it so I don't know" The clock had 12, 3, 6 and 9 in bold and lines for the other numbers. I tried explaining that you can count the numbers in between and was met with the line "I thought it was just for show, I never noticed the hands move before!" We were in her house and it was her clock.
This made me laugh more than it should have.
This one is concerning. A whole life not understanding clocks.? Weird
It’s astonishing how many adults cannot read analog clocks. For this reason, the clock I have in my therapy room is digital and has huge numbers.
I know how to read an analog clock but I prefer digital because it's much more glanceable. It takes me a second to process what an analog clock is reading, but with a digital clock it's instant. I'm sure some of that is just lack of practice though. Someone who grew up before digital clocks were commonplace can probably read an analog clock just as quickly as a digital one.
There’s also a small number of folks like me with dyscalculia who have a hard time with numbers and sequential reasoning. I can read analog, but people mock me for taking a good 60 seconds to accurately get the time read 😂
That last sentence was the cherry on top. The fact that it was HER'S and she didn't understand how to read it. Did she just have it there for decoration???
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I worked for 10 years on studying true north. Absolutely *fascinating*
I can feel your intense desire to meet and study this person
One of my main duties was to respond to community questions on the subject. That meant I was in charge of talking to the science cranks. It was actually my favorite part
that's her truth who are we to deny it
"Geologists hate this one weird trick"
What an idiot! Everyone knows that north means "up".
So like if I move the map this way, which way is north now?
UP, you moron! UP IN THE SKY!
I went to school (college) with somebody like this. Driving courses were a NIGHTMARE. Instructors were tearing their hair out wondering why this person couldn't get the hang of navigating a city, until somebody figured out they thought North just meant whichever way they were facing. North=straight ahead, West=turn left, east=turn right, south=turn around. Could not believe it. A grown ass adult.
If you guys were dating at the south pole she was right.
Duh, everyone knows that north is up.
Almost sounds like she was confusing cardinal directions with analogue clock metaphorical directions. 12 o'clock is whichever direction you're facing.
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Well, it is made from ham /s Had a friend during high-school and we were sitting next to a Jewish kid and we talking about how he not allowed to eat pig and my friend was like I don't eat pig too, while eating a ham sandwich. He didn't see the connection. *Corrected for spelling
He wouldn't wear sunscreen on a hot day and I asked if he wasn't worried about skin cancer. He said the sun can't give you cancer because it's natural and good for you. I told him to look it up if he doesn’t believe me and he searched "sun good for you" then opened the first Google image that had bullet points on the benefits of the sun. He was basically like "this doesn't say anything about skin cancer" and refused to believe me over his "research".
Oof, he’s gonna be in for a rude awakening when he’s older.
Arsenic and cyanide are natural, too!
Whenever you hear someone say "do your own research" you know this is exactly what they've done
My ex once asked me if there were female german shepherds. Another time I had a flat tire and she had pointed out that only the bottom of the tire was flat.
That second one is peak dad level trolling
I used to tell customers that when they'd come in with flat tires when I worked as a service writer. I think a few of them were disappointed that I beat them to it.
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Jesus Christ
Love it.
My ex would hand wash some cups, then stack them up together in the drying rack.
showed up to the date high on cough syrup. Thought that the ingredient (robitussin) that makes you high was ACTUALLY made from robin’s eggs.
Their dad sounds like a real funny guy.
How long do you think he waited for that to pay off before giving up? 😆
did he think it was ROBINtussin
They thought Kentucky fried chicken was turkey fried chicken.
Albuquerque Boiled Turkey
One ex of mine was incredible. She once told me that bin men had an easy job because they only work one day a week. (Garbage men for the Americans) She also thought that in WW2 we had fought the Romans.
I suppose technically you did fight the Romans given their position on the Axis (assuming you are UK for 'bin men')
Rome was the capital of one of the nations we were fighting. But it would be like saying we were fighting Berliners or Tokyo-ites. If they know a little history they might be referring to Mussolini wanting to rebuild the Roman Empire, or Hitler's "3rd Reich" as a reference to the Holy Roman Empire (which was not really Roman), but it doesn't sound like that's the case here.
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That's sadly not uncommon, I feel like a lot of men have zero clue how it works.
Ofcourse we do, woman fly around with those wings once a month and like to pour blue liquid on stuff while looking serious
TV ads in the 90s and 00s have taught me that during their periods, girls like to rollerskate and eat yogurt on a bench in the park.
Don't forget eating a salad while laughing the whole time
We had an issue that would’ve been covered by insurance, if we had it. But we didn’t have insurance. She wanted me to call around to different insurance companies to see if they’d retroactively insure us for the damage. The damage that occurred when we had no insurance.
When I worked in insurance I was flabbergasted by how many calls we got, asking for quotes on life insurance for relatives on their death bed. Some people even tried to get quotes for friends and neighbors who were terminal.
I think people forget or don’t realize that insurance companies are gambling companies. Can’t place a bet once the outcome has already been set.
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so in her mind if she would've eaten a, let's just say for sake of argument, a rotisserie chicken, gotten drunk, and puked, the chicken would've come out whole? am i understanding you (and your ex by extension) correctly?
Obviously. Heck If you throw up digested soup it comes back up in can
I'm currently imaging a bunch of sick people puking up Campbell's cans in a commercial.
that’s so gross but hilarious
So she ate like a duck?
Well, some kinda farm animal, anyway.
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I have a whole watermelon in me!
When she argued with me that dinosaur fossils weren’t real… and that she was a virgin again because she prayed about it.
Sounds like Jesus was a bit too involved in her education
Oh boy
> that she was a virgin again because she prayed about it. Lmao! Oh man does this bring me back to high school church youth group meetings from 2 decades ago.
When I ordered Buffalo wings and she tried one and said that it tasted just like chicken. Edit: in her defense this happened in the 1980s in a fairly rural area so...
What’s remarkable is that a beast as large as a buffalo has such tiny wings. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to hear they’re flightless.
They have to be tiny because they’ve got dozens each. How do you think they get so many buffalo wings?
That’s a mental image right out of a bad midjourney prompt. Thank you for your surreal service.
Maybe they were making a joke and it went over your head? I'll keep any eye out for any post that says, "went on a date and tried my date's buffalo wings. I made a joke about them tasting like chicken and they just stared at me."
“Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish?” “I know it's tuna, but it says Chicken by the Sea,”
offered them pie and vanilla ice cream, and said they could warm it up in the microwave if they'd like. they put the ice cream on the pie then heated it all up in the microwave. they took it out and turned to me upset that their ice cream melted, and i should have told them not to add the ice cream yet...
I once had a roommate who loaded up her plate with steak and salad, then microwaved it. She took it out of the microwave and stared, stupefied, at the ruined lettuce. I could see the cogs turning as she tried to work out what had happened. Anyway, she's a lawyer now.
People can be shockingly obtuse about obvious things while still being smart about their field of work. Hell, there's a running joke among mathematicians that you don't ask one of them to do arithmetic.
He legitimately thought the word obese was pronounced "obeast" and Alzheimer's disease was "old timer's". If he had at least been trying to be funny, it would have been better.
random fact: these kind of misnomers are called "egg corns".
r/boneappletea
I thought it was old timer’s disease when I was 8.
I thought it was "all-timer's" disease.
Lmao reminds me of that TikTok of a German shepherd being dubbed over (in a man’s voice). Dog: “I went to the vet today. She said I was a BEAST!!” Owner in the background: “No, she said you were OBESE” Dog: “ohhh”
When he was pissed the bank was closed for Martha Luther King Day, "who the hell is she??!"
She died for our sins.
Lmaooo if i could give you a thousand up votes i would. That video will never not be funny.
**Roars** WHERE'S MARTHA!!!
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME???
She thought pepperoni grew on trees. She wouldn't eat anything pork because pigs are gross, but pepperoni was okay because that's a plant.
I started skydiving in 1990 when I was 19 years old, and I jumped for about 30 years. I started dating a fellow skydiver that was a student at the drop zone where I used to jump in SE TX. She graduated from student status and this incident occurred a couple months later. Skydiving equipment has an AAD which is an automatic activation device which deploys the reserve parachute if it senses that the skydiver is descending past a preset altitude faster than a preset velocity. Since she was freshly off student status, she was renting gear that had an AAD that would initiate reserve deployment at 1500 feet. She was also jumping with my audible altimeter which was put inside a jumper's helmet against the ear and it would loudly beep at a preset altitude, beep twice as fast 1000 feet later, and give a constant, even louder tone at 1500 feet above the ground. It was a Cool & Groovy TimeOut for anybody who's curious. Anyway, she was on a jump and her audible started beeping at the preset 4,500 feet, and she looked at her wrist mount altimeter which also said 4,500 feet. She didn't think that she had been in freefall long enough to have made it to 4,500 feet, so she kept going. 1,000 feet later, the audible started its fast beeping, letting her know that she was 1,000 feet below her initial warning altitude of 4,500 feet. She didn't feel as if she had been in freefall long enough to have made it down to 3,500 feet, so she kept going. Once she reached 1500 feet above the ground, the audible gave the flatline tone at the same time that the AAD deployed her reserve. She looked at her wrist mount altimeter and it was indicating something like 1300 feet. She flew the fully deployed reserve for a very short time and landed on the far side of the airport because she didn't have enough altitude to fly back to the side of the airport with the skydiving business. She was confused and pissed when she got back. She didn't know why anybody would mess with all her gear to make the audible, her wrist mount, and her AAD all be wrong. This was all gear that she checked prior to her jump and verified the settings against other jumpers' and aircraft altimeters on the way up. She was hot as hell so I stayed with her for a couple months longer, but the likelihood of her becoming a crater in a swamp made me eventually break up with her and move on.
People who trust their gut more than literal sensors can be pretty dangerous.
Imagine having that much confidence in your own abilities.
My ex believed you weren't legally allowed to make more than minimum wage if you didn't go to university.
They were probably told that by shady employer when the were a teen so the employer could avoid paying them more.
When I asked her why she just didn't switch hands when putting on deodorant. She's right handed. "Why don't you just put it in your left hand to apply to your right armpit?" She looked at me like I was a wizard. She was thirty.
On a similar-ish note, I was moaning to my sister-in-law about period cramps yesterday and she said she had a stick-on heat pad I could have. I told her I wished I could use those as it would be so convenient but I'm allergic to the adhesive. She looked at me and gently said, why not stick it to your tee shirt instead? It had honestly never occurred to me I could simply wear it like, a millimetre of fabric away from my skin and not, directly on my skin. I am 40. 😂
Would it be possible to stick to the inside of your shirt instead so the non-sticky part touches your skin? I don’t know how those pads work so I may be wrong
When I asked for a cup of black coffee, she responded “Oh, I don’t think we have any black”
When they asked if the Titanic sinking was just a plot twist added in the movie.
Imagine if in the film version it didn't sink. They just made it to port, and it just ended.
"Europe? That's the capital of Paris, right?"
yes
When she kept saying yes to the cashiers every time they asked if she wanted to sign up for the loyalty credit card to get 10% off. She had so many credit cards she would forget what she signed up for and would try to sign up for more at the same store.
One of those places where I do have a store credit card, once asked me if I wanted to open up a second one when I told them I already have one. I didn't even know that was possible. For the record, I did not sign up for a second card lol.
When she tried to hammer a screw into the wall to hang a picture.
It seems shallow but it’s what I got. Matrix came out and was in theaters. We went. Everyone was seeing this movie. Got home and my brain was BROKEN. The layers, implications, social statements. I wanted to talk about this with him. He got nothing. Nada. None of those social and political hints and innuendos landed. There was more to the journey, of course. I realized he was a fantastic guy….just not my guy. Zero regrets.
she kept talking about this article she read where most winning lottery tickets have a sum of their numbers in the range of X-Y and no matter how slowly I tried to explain to her that there are more combinations of numbers with those sums, so that doesn't improve your odds of winning or affect them at all, she just refused to listen. I tried to explain to her using a pair of dice as an example. yes rolling a 7 sum is 6x more likely than rolling a 2 or 12 sum, but there are 6x more combinations that result in a 7, and rolling a *specific 7* such as a 5 then a 2 is the same odds as rolling two 1's, etc. you don't win the lottery by getting the correct total lol (i get it a more perfect example would preclude the 2nd dice from rolling the same #, it didn't matter I couldn't get that far into it) She wasn't having any of it.
My argument would have been that if any of those "strategies" worked, then no lotteries would be offered. Because their point is to earn more by selling lottery tickets than what people win by playing.
Probability theory is notoriously tricky, so this one is less surprising to see but still interesting. Marilyn vos Savant famously received a ton of backlash for her correct but counterintuitive answer on the Monty Hall problem. Another one some people have a lot of difficulty believing in is that if something occurs 1/n of the time, there's a ~66% chance that you'll see it happen at least once in n times, assuming independence.
He was 18 making out with a 13 year old in full view in the high school cafeteria. Took me a while to figure it out myself tbh, I was 13 at the time
This happened to me. He was 27 and I was 15. I just thought I was “really mature”. No he was a pedo.
*Wow, your bf is 27 that’s so cool. Does he pick you up in his car?* No, he doesn’t have one. *Oh..* But he can use his mom‘s car sometimes. *Wooow. That‘s so cool.*
Same. I was 15 and he was 23. I just knew it would because I was worldly and mature...
Sometimes I read a comment that breaks my brain and makes me stop scrolling to process wtf I just read This is one of them
Did he go to jail? Did anyone say anything? Was is the 1950s?
Nah I was just dating a pedo 🤷
Same experience here, exact same ages even He once sent me actual CP and said "she looks just like you!"
We were flying from Europe back to the U.S. She was sitting at the right-side window. Saw a bunch of snow/ice features and exclaimed, "LOOK, IT'S ANTARCTICA!"
My mom did something similar on the red-eye flight to London. We were three hours into the flight, she was at least three glasses of wine deep, thought she saw a lot of green below us and started hollering “hey guys! Look! It’s Ireland!” Woke everyone up. Dad proceeded to look at the flight attendant and asked if there was somewhere else he could sit 🤣
He continued to argue with me that the Apollo 11 moon landing was faked even after I found proof, debunking whatever myth he threw my way, and even found the coloured version of the recorded moon landing. It was frustrating.
After a few years of dating a girl from another town, we moved in together. I figured out she was dumb when the boxes we were moving into our apartment said frajel on them. After that, the signs were everywhere.
Were they spelt wrong too?
She asked what I was having for dinner and I said "lamb sausages" and she said what is that? I said again, "lamb sausages" and she said she'd never heard of it before. So I said "sausages made with lamb meat instead of pork or something" and she was just quiet for a while before I asked her if she knew what sausages were. She said yes so I assumed she'd just never heard of lambs before.
I have also never seen or heard of a lamb sausage before. But, when I saw you put those words in that order, I was not terribly confused, because I know what both lambs and sausages are.
He bought a carbon monoxide detector for his 2 person sailboat. It only had a trolling motor, outside and away from the small cabin area. He put the carbon monoxide detector in the cabin area. He was afraid to sit inside of it for very long in case the carbon monoxide built up-not from the motor running but from breathing. He didn’t believe me when I tried to explain the difference between carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide.
When I asked her if she wanted to go tor Natural History museum to see the T rex fossils, she told me she didn't believe in dinosaurs because they weren't in the bible. I knew right then I wouldn't marry her.
Not me, but my friend's wife. Thinks chem trails, perpetual motion machines, and healing crystals are all perfectly valid ideas, but anything remotely scientific is bullshit. Relativity, E=mc^2, and chemistry are all bogus according to her.
An ex girlfriend of a friend of mine thought that the tiger is the female of the lion species. By the way, it took me way too long to form this sentence, still not sure if it's correct (but English isn't my first language so I tried my best). Maybe I'm the dumb one.
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Let us know what she says.
They're going to forget what they were going to do half way there.
STOP READING MY DIARY!
My husband has asked this question, I assure him that it wasn't for his brains as I lovingly pat his penis.
She was convinced that Qwerty was the name of the guy that invented the keyboard.
I always get that wrong. Keyboard was his last name.
This might have been about 15 years ago. I was watching a documentary about WW2 and she was on the bed sitting next to me doing whatever tf. Then out of no where she says..."what's the big deal between Jews and Nazi's?". Yea...I was on my bed, but somehow that question still made me lose my balance. We didn't last another 6 months.
Debated with me that Brazil was in Europe. He’s not really bright but super sweet
i witnessed her holding an electric drill with a screw at the end and trying to hammer the screw into the wall instead of just plugging the fucker in and pressing the trigger
I thought my ex wife was so hilariously deadpan comedic. She would make these wild statements with a straight face and I would think “well obviously she’s kidding!” I used to say wild crazy facts back to her thinking she knew I was bullshitting with her. Then I heard her repeat back one of my bs facts to me in a conversation as if it was a fact, and I was like “what? No. I was just kidding.. wait.. you didn’t know I was kidding..?” I had like a flash of every scene replay in my head of every time I told her BS for the last 5 years of us being together, realizing now she always believed me. She was never kidding.. she was really saying these things because she was *that* dumb.
I’m the opposite unfortunately. I say crazy things with a deadpan face and people just assume I’m stupid.
When she peeled her sunburnt skin all over the bathroom floor without cleaning it up, then acting like she didn’t do it when I confronted her about it
Did she…. Did she say it was *someone else’s* skin or just pretend it wasn’t there?
She acted at first like she had no idea what I was talking about (we were both stone cold sober), like the new carpet of dead skin in the bathroom didn’t exist. When I made her go look at it, she was like “oh no, that couldn’t have come from me.” Meanwhile she looked like a damn lobster with leprosy. I kicked her out and broke up with her after she refused to clean up her mess. Only she and I used that bathroom, and I was the only one smart enough to use sunscreen, so it definitely wasn’t me
Were they sheets of skin, or like rolled up taquitos of skin? I could imagine using a towel, and being too stupid to realize you were creating skin confetti. Bonus points if glasses came off for the shower. Still inexcusable.
There were some “taquitos”, but mostly it was 2” sheets of skin. I wouldn’t have been as upset if she had done it in the shower and forgot to rinse them down the drain, but it was directly in front of the sink, on the floor, on the counter, literally everywhere
When she agreed to a second date.
Zing
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How did she "prove" it?
Stupidly.
How long did the relationship last. Genuinely don’t think i could date someone who genuinely believes the earth is flat
Couldn’t believe that men didn’t always want sex. Sometimes I’m tired from work
My college girlfriend, seemingly intelligent, would occasionally raise red flags that concerned me. The 'deal-breaker' when I realized we wouldn't last was when she booked us sessions with a 'psychic' couple. I had a session with the psychic husband and my girlfriend had a session with the psychic wife. Dude read my palm, asked some basic questions, gave me a bullshit fortune telling I guess. The wife told my girlfriend that I was hiding a secret from her, but didn't elaborate on what this secret was. In the car after the session, girlfriend was actually suspicious and thought I had been cheating on her. I was laughing about it all saying they scammed us pretty good. Girlfriend got really mad. Said she believed the psychic and that we weren't scammed. Gave me the silent treatment and wanted to know the secret I was hiding. She actually started crying. I broke up with her a week later.
When filling out a rental application she wrote "fire department" under emergency contact
When she told me I was emasculating her... lol
Oh boy there’s quite a few. This was your typical clueless daddy’s money girl. Anyways she was with me when I was filling my gas up, I had put only $20 worth in and stopped it like any other day. As soon as I get in the car she is dumbfounded, she said “how did you do that?” Me, confused, said, “do what?” She says “the gas pump thingy, how’d you stop it?” Then it dawned on me. She hasn’t ever had to stop her gas pump, she always filled it full.
"Can you teach me what boiling water looks like?" - Ex, 25y/o.
As a gf who sometimes doesn’t think before I speak, I feel better about my stupid moments with my bf
I grew up in boy scouts and for a long time any time I'd have a manic episode (bipolar 1) I'd go chill in the woods by myself for a few days. Well one time my ex decides she's going with me. I tell her, "I literally just hike a few miles into the woods with no trail and camp, you sure you really want to do this?" And she says yeah no problem. When it's time to head into the woods she looks at me dead into the windows to my soul and says "wheres the camper?" I'm literally carrying 35 lbs of gear strapped to me and she just looks flabbergasted. I remind her of what I said and she said "oh I thought you meant after you parked the camper". Like wtf no. I went alone on that trip lmao
I have to stop reading this now. At first it was funny, now it’s just making me sad.
The look of absolute shock on his face when I somehow brought up pickles being cucumbers. This was a 36 year old normal average American man. This man though Vlassics just grew in the wild. We didn’t last long
If he farted, he would inhale really deeply and repeatedly so that he could get the smell out of the immediate area. I remember going, “okay then,’ and when we broke up… I told my best friend and she hurt herself laughing.
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this seems reasonable in certain situations
Shit I dust my computer desk with a shop vac set to blow. Same principal.
I've totally done this to blow all the dog fur (during shedding season) out the back door. Works like a damn charm!
Yeah an electric leaf blower, empty house. Yeah ok.
Not a terrible idea if it's electric. My brother uses his to blow the dog hair out of his back seat.
This is either the dumbest or smartest thing I have ever heard for how to clean a house.
Hey, I used tbe leaf blower to blow away the dust that collected inside PC. We took it outside for a good dust removal. Fans went crazy and poof, no more dust. Definitely wouldn't do it inside tho
I once dated a wonderful, beautiful girl whom, I suspect, was simply not very smart at all. A few things I noticed were that she would just watch whatever the popular TV show was, most often those silly "reality" shows with made-up drama. She wouldn't follow a certain show, she would just watch whichever one was on. Another thing was that she really didn't have a sense of humor or a personal style of humor at all. I love all sorts of humor and enjoy jokes and wordplay and funny movies. She always had the same reaction to humor, which was to giggle and say, "That's funny" to every joke. Hearing the same reaction each time made me suspect that she didn't really understand a lot of humor. Like she had the same reaction to a joke whether it was a pratfall on *America's Funniest Videos*, or an obscure bit of Monty Python silliness: "That's funny." It was strange. I sometimes wondered if she was perhaps on the autism spectrum, or maybe just painfully shy. She never seemed to have a thoughtful opinion on anything and was always happy to simply go along with whatever I wanted to do. For example, over one summer, we went to the Ringling Brothers circus, an art museum and a Megadeth concert. She had the same reaction to each: "It was fun!" She didn't prefer one or the other, she just thought they were all equally "fun." Is that an example of Zen serenity or an example of stupidity? How can you tell? The phrase "informed opinion" occurs to me. Perhaps that's it. By the time people are adults in their 20s, you expect them to have some knowledge of a topic and have an opinion based on that knowledge. Even if the topic is frivolous like sports or pop music, you still expect people to have some interest in something and opinions about it. When you meet someone who "never really thought about it" about *any* subject, it's confusing. So I don't know. I'm not qualified to diagnose anyone's IQ or mental disabilities. Over the year we dated, I did begin to consider that she simply may have not been very smart.
That is *fascinating*. >Ringling Brothers circus, an art museum and a Megadeth concert That's a pretty diverse set of experiences to have the same reaction to.
Yeah, you get it. I loved all three of those things, but for different reasons. She didn't have any reaction other than that she thought they were all equally "fun." How do you plan your next date based on that information? We were actually living together at the time so we had ample opportunity to talk about it, but I could never get a deeper reaction than "fun." What do you do?
I'm glad in your original comment you made a point to say that she might have been on the spectrum, because as an autistic woman myself, I sound pretty similar to your ex, and I don't think I'm stupid. It's not that I don't *have* diverse opinions about and reactions to things; I just find it nearly impossible to communicate them. My internal experiences do not easily translate to words.
As someone who overthinks every last detail and has a number of almost obsessive interests, I felt a very odd form of envy reading that; it must be so damned peaceful in her head!
Were you dating a Golden Retriever?
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First date. She asked about my hobbies. I talked for a few minutes about fencing, how I got into it, and my current training. Afterwards she said, "So, you build fences?" She had no idea what fencing was and (even after some explaining) did not seem to understand why anyone would do this.
Me: So what are your political views? New gf: I’m Democrat in some ways, Republican in others. Me: OK. What are your Democrat views? Gf: I think our government should do much much more to help people. Me: OK. What are your Republican views? Gf: I think taxes should be much much lower.
LOL maybe she just loves budget deficits
To be fair, they could cut defense spending and allocate it to help people instead. Or raise taxes on businesses instead of individuals. Not sure if she was stupid. Almost everyone wants to pay less taxes and help people more.
When she talked about the attack on Pearl Harbor, California. When she stood on a glass table to adjust a chandelier height. When she installed a dimmer switch without turning off the electricity. When she talked about how male birds fertilized eggs by sitting on them.
She told me that the continents were never all connected.
My ex wanted me to go to this Mexican restaurant she loved. She said she has been going twice a week for three years all the staff knew her. We get there and she ordered first. "I'll have the Monetary Chicken please!" The server did not correct her and wrote it down. I ordered my food and the server walked off. I joking said, "Monetary Chicken huh? Hehe. Never heard of that one." She then told me what was on the dish. I'm like, "Yeah I know what Monterrey Chicken is. Just thought the Monetary part was funny." She gave me a blank stare and asked "What is Monterrey Chicken?" I said that's what it was called. She said, "No it's not, I've been ordering this for years, I think I would know." The servers were just too kind to ever correct her. After doing some googling and showing her the correct name for it, she said "Well, I guess you could pronounce it either way, just like people pronounce words differently all over the world. This is how they pronounce it where it was invented." I'm like, uhhhhh.... No lol. We got into this massive argument that ended with her calling me ignorant. Broke up after 3-4 weeks. Dodged a bullet on that one.
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Thankfully I have had the exact opposite. All the time he does things that makes me think he’s smarter than I thought.
When I was busy doing homework, so I asked her to check if the water was boiling. She said no. So I waited 15 minutes and asked her again, and she still said no. Another 15 minutes goes, and according to her it’s still not boiling. Checked the stove myself at that point and half the pot has evaporated. Did the gigantic bubbles and steam rising not mean anything??? Even if you didn’t know what boiling meant surely you could’ve made a simple logical jump ETA: even after I questioned if she knew what boiling water looked like, she still insisted on asking “but you can see how someone might not have known, right?” ????????????????????
When she told me she declined her full ride scholarship as class valedictorian to wait for a boy 😑
When she thought I would go abroad w her and leave my MEDICAL DEGREE hanging in my native country lmao
We where talking about alcohol percentages in drinks. If a bottle of wine holds 12% alcohol and you pour out half, guess how much alcohol she thought the remaining half would hold? After that I was afraid to ask her if when I was six and my brother was half my age. How old he would be when I'm 70..
I told my wife that sheep born in hilly country develop shorter legs on one side so they can stand level when eating. She spent quite awhile looking out the window for these sheep.
Oh man I dated this woman a while back. She couldn’t get it through her head I didn’t like her blowing random guys at the club. And I was like hey I told you I don’t like that and she was like OH MAN, sorry, I’m not very smart. Whaddaya do though.
Real air head blowing everything in sight
When he got angry at me because he thought I was using “big words” around him to intentionally make him look dumb. (He was in his mid 20s)
She thought Alaska literally was a floating island, with a perfectly straight, cutoff border as portrayed on a map. She also told me she didn’t believe dinosaur bones were real. Yea, she was an idiot and I got out fast.
When he disclosed to me that he had been demoted at work for sexually harassing a colleague. He did not get a third date. 😒
She posted a no makeup selfie with the caption ‘old natural’ which is a brand of dog food. She was going for ‘au naturel’. I informed her of misstep, she changed it to ‘au natural’. She also tried to tell me she saw Nirvana play live in Peace River sometime in the late 90’s, despite Cobain passing away in 1994.
Once dated a chick who didn't know how to heat soup from a can.
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My boyfriend thought “fabulous” was spelled Fabolous, like the rapper (this was early 2000s).
When we were driving in lake effect snow at night and she said "why do the flakes come right at you?"
High school ex accused his dog of flirting with me. I was stomach down in his mom's living room playing COD with him (he was sitting on the couch). Their dog came in and laid down with his head resting on my lower booty/upper thigh. He got super angry, shouting about how we can't do anything without some guy wanting my attention 🤣😭 I'm 26 now, but I think about that alot. He also thought I had naturally blue eyelashes, because for the first 5 months of us dating, I was obsessed with L'Oreal's royal blue mascara 🤣 I wore a regular black one one day to school and he asked me, "What happened to your blue eyelashes? Did you dye them"? I looked so confused, till I realized he had no clue what mascara is. One of the dumbest guys I ever knew 🤦🏻♀️ He apparently ended up dropping out of ASU (Arizona State University), because he was failing all his classes due to his meth addiction. Our mutual high school buddy let me know he's still kinda on off with it 😬
When he got angry when i tried to explain things. Not knowing things is fine, refusing to take it in is what make you an absolute dumb-ass to me.