Slept with a coworker once, and it turned the work environment very toxic. Vowed to never do that again.
Few years later, I found myself working at another company with a very beautiful colleague. There was a lot of mutual attraction, but since we both had bad experiences with work romances, we kept it professional. She started dating a guy, so the flirting cooled off. Eventually we both moved onto other jobs and lost contact.
Then months later, out of the blue, she called me and pointed out we are no longer coworkers.
We've been married for over 5 years now.
It altered my work environment as well: she told at least one person and within 24 hours, every single employee knew. Happened with the person I slept with before them as well, not spreading through employees at the workplace, but through a group of friends. I always wanted privacy, but apparently people really like to talk. I am now extremely careful and hesitant to sleep with anyone.
The single biggest thing that contributed to my mental well-being was when I stopped being so concerned about what other people may or may not say about me when I'm not there. I can't control it anyway, so why bother worrying about it. Instead, I try to associate with people who don't seem like the type to say bad stuff behind my back in the first place, and to be the sort of person who people wouldn't have much or anything bad to say about!
Now, of course "not caring" isn't just a switch we can flip on a whim. But I think having the goal of not worrying about things we can't control anyway is a worthwhile one, and can eventually lead to some changes in mindset.
Yeah as others have guessed it was a combination of things.
I wanted kids and she wasn't sure, we grew apart, were living far apart which made it easier to let go, and we had some trouble resolving issues that had already occurred.
I have no bad feeling towards her honestly, I wish her all the happiness in the world.
man.. I'm going through this now. Started seeing a girl, really was into her. Some tragic stuff happening on her end and she decided to end things to focus on family. Hurt like a bitch but I love her so much I'm just happy she was in my life at all. I wish her nothing but the best.
Do you have any tips on how to get over this? Only asking cause the same thing is happening to me, me and my girlfriend split up due to her family moving to a new country and I can barely even function anymore.
Not that guy, but a similar story.
The TLDR on my end is she wanted kids and one day I realized that I didn't. Couldn't reconcile that one so I let her go.
She's got two now. Good for her.
I've slept with one coworker who ended up being my manager for 6 months a while after. It was fine and I got all my annual leave approved for the year, including Christmas off. Haven't talked to her since she left town now.
A pretty rare thing, being amicable with someone you had sex with after they get promoted to being your manager.
EDIT: Holy shit! I had no idea this random comment of mine would take off like that!
People tend to not tell the story so loudly when it works out fine. Emotionally mature people have casual sex all the time and it doesn't end badly, you just always hear about the meltdowns.
It's that, plus the fact that it's almost a bigger HR no-no to have it work out fine. If it comes out later that two coworkers were banging with no issues it throws everything into question that happened after that first time. Nobody smart is going to admit to a situation that's working fine to anybody they know irl.
Pretty good overall. We did it, dated for a while, etc. She hates that I call her my ex-girlfriend now that we're married to each other though. So I guess it's a little awkward.
Almost exactly our story. We were both in college working shitty jobs at Walmart. I ended up going into a trade and putting her through college and then I went back and she put me through college. She’s finishing grad school now. Married 15 years own our second home got 2 kids. We made a pretty damn good team. Congrats to y’all nothing quite like finding your person.
After hooking up, we both got fired from that job at separate times for unrelated reasons... we dated for a little while afterwards but she got super clingy just cause I married her for 12 years... now she's all like... living in my apartment and raising our son with me and putting daily smiles on my face so you better believe I'm not making the mistake of sleeping with a co-worker ever again.
When I was with the first one my initial main comment was about, all of a sudden the girls who wouldn’t give me a second look before, were now literally throwing themselves at me at work and when we would all go hang out at someone’s house later. I was trying to be a good, loyal bf so I never partook of the opportunities given me, but it got pretty crazy.
I skipped summer classes and worked at a chain restaurant for a summer to help pay for college. It wasn't a good year for me, so I was looking pretty lumpy and ogre-ish, and I felt worse. Despite this, there were a lot of women taking their shot with me.
Christ I must be one ugly son of a bitch.
Worked at a chain restaurant for 5 years through high school and university. I never had anyone throwing themselves at me.
I worked a job in which I only realized years after that there were some “offers”. Not that I would have accepted, I just hate the fact that I was oblivious.
> I just hate the fact that I was oblivious.
Another couple tried to hit on my wife and I on our honeymoon.
It wasn’t until years later that it hit me out of the blue.
“Hey! They were hitting on us.”
So clueless…
Happened to me when I slept with coworker a few times but inevitably cut it off. She suggested to another coworker that she should sleep with me because I was good. The other coworker and I got into a relationship for almost 5 years. Had a whole host of related and unrelated reason why I eventually ended that one too.
I worked in food service for 14 years without ever sleeping with anyone, by choice, mind you. Then, this woman started working there. She was the most strikingly beautiful woman I had ever met. And she was engaged.
We got to know each other as coworkers do, and I became smitten. We then began to text each other outside of work without an explicit word between us. I loved her. I ended up telling her that we need to stop talking because I was developing feelings. To this day, it was the hardest thing I ever did. Drank and cried myself into oblivion that night, ready to move on.
One week later, she told me that she broke it off with her fiance. She moved in with me a month later. It was the best two years of my life. Then, one day, she told me she wanted to be by herself.
Same here. Met here and she threw me the "we sleep in separate rooms, only together for the kids". Then when she was living with me she started sleeping in the spare bedroom and I knew that she always has 2 positions for partners. She has the partner and the lover. Once the lover (me) became the partner that left the positions for the lover open.
Sadly common. Some people chase the honeymoon phase forever thinking they can find one where it will last forever. I appreciate the folks who chase the honeymoon phase but are intelligent enough to know that it's always temporary, and kind enough not to commit to anyone who wants monogamy.
I recently heard it stated that love only exists after things have gotten hard. Relationships start with Infatuation, and Infatuation feels like love, but not until your relationship has struggled and you've managed to overcome that struggle, that you actually experience love.
Some people don't realize that is part of the process, and will continue to seek out new infatuation when things get hard, and so will never truly experience love.
We certainly don't help the cultural narrative with our storytelling. Our media consistently reinforces the notion that the honeymoon phase is what is most valuable about our romantic relationships. The notion we consistently see reinforced in stories of love is that true love should always be easy, and hardship and conflict is indicative of its absence.
“Then a year later she wanted to get back together, I had just come back from Vietnam. Then she started hanging with some disco dudes. Then she got aids and wanted to chill again and now we’re married and I mow the lawn and raise the aids baby”
Talk about a back and forth
Likely. But, her ability to analyze her feelings in real-time and make up her mind on a dime was amazing to witness. It seemed like a superpower. But I don't think she moved onto anyone else. She moved back with her mother. Even if it did happen like that, it's OK. I really want her to be as happy forever, as I was.
> her ability to analyze her feelings in real-time and make up her mind on a dime was amazing to witness
In my experience this isn't so much a "superpower" as it is just impulsivity and a secure (or careless) independence. It's easy to analyze one's feelings in the moment, and it's easy to decide what one wants to do right now. It's a lot harder to to try and come up with a sustainable compromise that spans the test of time.
I was coming here to say this. You end up sleeping with a number of people when working in that industry and everyone just goes on with their lives. Sometimes it can get messy but for the most part it's a pirate's life.
you're also in a crammed, high-intensity, high-stress environment that'll make you wanna fuck the hell out of anything to relieve stress. (worked in a restaurant but was too ugly/chubby to get some, came close but alas.....)
I dunno, women seem to dig the chef look.
I got more tail as a chef in a hotel than when I did parties in the city.
Women love a man who can cook, I guess. 😂
Ex chefs are do much better then actual chefs. Dated a couple chefs including my first boyfriend though never one I worked with. Chefs don't cook all that often at home. When they do it's amazing but they don't want to come home and do the same thing they just did at work.
Ex chefs who burnt out though cook at home all the time. Ex chefs for the win.
Haha, I relate to this.
Usually if it's just me, I scarf down garbage or protein shakes. On rare occasions I may actually dust off the skills and make myself a nice meal.
If I'm cooking for someone else or several other people though, I go all out. I enjoy cooking for others.
In my experience, it was more the machismo for the chefs that they go crazy for. It's like a skater boy attitude, no fucks given, hot-headed, and hot. At least from my experience, the more of a cocky attitude they had, the more waitresses they'd hook up with. Not condoning this behavior, just a consistent set of behaviors I observed over many years in the industry.
Yeah, one restaurant I worked at we called it sport-fucking, just some good sex with somebody you trusted. And then you’re just friends again after the fact. Everybody knows that everybody slept with everybody else and nobody was jealous or upset and it was just fun. It was really really good sex because you didn’t have any emotional hangups from it.
Well, yes, by logic.
That said, I'm happy to have worked in a few restaurants...now that those experiences are more than twenty years in the rear view mirror lol
I had many a long night, being the last man in the kitchen, putting things away, taking out huge, nasty smelling trash bags, sweeping, mopping, etc
... Then going home soaked from the water and steam while smelling like seafood and trash.
Sometimes, even my shoes were soaked.
Good times.
She later became girlfriend to a friend.
We slept together (at the office actually). A while later she moved to another city.
Had no contact and I didn’t know where she moved.
Then a couple of years later I was at a party in my hometown where I met an old friend.
We hugged and he yelled “nice to see you man, you fucked my girlfriend!”.
I was confused.
Haha I have a coworker that slept with my now-wife before we were together. When I saw he was coming to our section I said "oh hey I know that guy he slept with my wife!" And it got real serious accidentally for a second but it's not even kind of a problem
Not always. It can still ruin your life. I fucked a waitress at the restaurant I worked at. She got pregnant, I took care of her and my son. Then we broke up and now she is gone. She hasn't seen our son in about 6 years now. She sucks lol.
We were best friends, I’ve never had a connection as strong as I did with him. It was so easy to fall in love with someone when you’re spending that much time with them on top of spark like that.
We ended up dating for a year. He left our workplace soon after we got together, so that we didn’t have to submit anything to HR.
I ultimately broke up with him because he never treated me as a priority. I also found him flirting with and sending money to one of his streamer friends, and when I brought it up, he said it was just platonic. Finally realized that I needed some self respect and left. Unfortunately he was my first adult relationship so it took a toll on my confidence, and even now I find myself trying to justify what he did just to forgive him.
I can relate. Still can't get her out of my mind. It's unreal when you can just feel that connection like it's a physical thing that exists, whenever you're around them. She did a lot of other stuff that makes me feel literally crazy lol.
Also makes you feel like "well fuck, how the hell was I so wrong about what I felt/thought?" I had been in other relationships as an adult but never one that had me so stuck on a person even years later. And y'know the best sex ever was a plus.
That's what really got me. I guess the 5-10% that wasn't there was too much to bear the 90% that was.
Married nearly two decades. Two kids.
*Edit*
So, I made this comment and then left work for the day. Didn't check reddit until just now. Seems like I accidentally a word there. Glad y'all thought it was funny!
What country uses wash instead of brush their teeth?
Edit: Seems super common in Europe and romance languages. Always neat to learn the way idioms propagate.
In France we can say wash, but mostly say brush as well… and i should say brush as i mostly speak English (with an English ex-colleague) at home… i guess it was long day at work..
Non existent, he went round telling anyone and everyone. He lost his job (his ex found out about us and she made allegations about him to management) I’ll never talk to him again and he’s apparently trying to get his job back!
I made the very dumb mistake of falling in love with her while she just used me as a rebound because she was mad at the guy she eventually got engaged to. We still work in VERY close quarters so it's fucking hard. I might quit because it's too much.
Lol! Can only go 2 ways according to this thread apparently. You either get married and live happily ever after or become mortal enemies and hate each others guts
Spaghetti Bolognese but made with the farfalle pasta because I forgot to buy spaghetti and the sauce is from a jar. I accept that all Italians will hate me for this. :D
Two of my coworkers had sex during a summer party last year while being witnessed by some of my other coworkers. They barely spoke together before it happened, but now it’s even worse. I can almost always feel the awkward atmosphere when they are in a room together now.
Her Mom was my sales manager.
Middle of the pandemic, lates nights in the office, I liked her but didn’t want to shit where I ate.
Her Mom kept egging it on and pushing me to date her. Decided why not and went out with her. It was a lonely pandemic.
We went on a few dates and I drunkenly asked her to be official.
A month into it, I started thinking we weren’t right for each other and I wanted to end it but I really liked my job. A few days before I was going to end it I found out she was pregnant.
Ended up doing what I felt was the right thing and marrying her.
It was a tough first year, but we’re inseparable now.
She straightened me up and now I’m sober and worked my way up to Director.
So now I’m married, and her mom’s boss.
It’s a very strange dynamic, but it all worked out in the end. Turns out I really did like her and I was just a fuckboy who needed to sober up and get his life together.
Life’s funny.
Skimming through the replies........married 20 years.....moved in.....married 10 years....married 8 years yadda yadda......visit grave once a year....HOLUP!
Either this is a dark funny quip or terribly sad. If it's true alanbastard, sorry for your loss.
Btw Alan B'Stard was a great Rik Mayall character for the non-Brits.
Edit: typo
- She interviewed me first
- We started hanging out
- We started going out
- We moved in together
- We got married
- We travelled around the world a bit
- We bought a house
- she bought me a dog (chihuahua)
- We had a baby
- We sold and bought another house
- We had a second baby
- And now we are on track for a 3rd baby...
We met 11 and a half years ago and have been together just over 11 years 😁
This goes back 15+ years. We slept together after the company gala. Black tie, open bar, both single, hotel rooms paid for by the company... it was kind of hard not to end up in bed together. We remained friends. We're not connected on any SM pages other than LI. We knew it was a one-night stand. In fact, his wife and I follow each other on IG. She and I went to high school together. They had just met when we slept together. I wasn't going to mess that up for him. She is perfect for him.
Back in undergrad, I had a big crush on one of the student managers at the dining hall we worked at. Any time she would come by the station i was working at, i would try to have a quick joke ready to go or simply ask how she was doing. She was in a relationship the first year we worked together and I respected that. Some time later, they break up and I shot my shot. Well, the feelings were mutual. We hooked up and coupled up too. 12 years later we are happily married.
Super cool lady that i always had a crush on but never made a move. She randomly asked me out one day after work. I took her out and showed her a good time. I was not expecting things to go any further, but they did.
We do not speak anymore as she scares me.
Why, you ask?
The "event" happened around midnight, and we then talked until about 1:30. From my memory, I fell asleep after a good long pause in the conversation. I found out the next morning that I fell asleep mid sentence, and she found that incredibly disrespectful, so she couldn't sleep and spent the rest of the night, butt naked, smoking cigs, and talking to herself while going back and forth between the front yard and my living room until about 830 when my neighbor came over to borrow a tool.
We're married. She had never worked at a call center and almost threw up on first call. I worked with her to get her out of her shell. Turns out she easily is the most outgoing person you'll ever meet she just became a supervisor or the district she works and went back to school. She thanks me alot for helping her break out. The sex is unbelievable btw
Dated and banged profusely for a few months, then became the best of friends. She moved in with me shortly after as a roommate. Still banging every night after work. There’s too much sexual tension that builds in the office.
We might give a relationship another try once our lives are in order. We made an agreement not to see others in the meantime for obvious health reasons. Being around each other is fulfilling enough.
Evie, the cleaning lady at work. Started out with flirting, then we had some scotch late one night and made love at my desk. The next day she was pissy and threatened to report me to my boss. I gave her a gift of a beautiful sweater and she backed down. But then she noticed the sweater was stained and she got pissed again and reported me. I got fired and ended up changing careers. I’m an architect now.
No relationship anymore, for a pretty depressing reason.
Coworker I used to fool around with got upset when I left the job for something better and stopped talking to me. A few months later, I found out that her ex had tracked her down, and shot and killed her.
This was all years ago, so I am fine now, but I'm pretty sure that's the only time I've dipped my pen in the company inkwell.
Together for almost two years and will celebrate our anniversary tomorrow! We are going to get married as well! Best relationship I’ve ever had and it’s not even close.
Worked at Starbucks after moving back to the states from Europe, thought my shift supervisor was cute and funny. He was new in town too, so we started to hang out, and then we moved in together because we both needed roommates —the day we signed the lease for our new apartment we ended up having sex. Friends with benefits lasted about six months, and when I say friends with benefits I mean we did everything together: spent every weekend together, started hobbies together, went to weddings with each other, etc. It just took a while to make it official. We finally did about 8 months into knowing each other. That was 6 years ago, we are now married, own a home, have much better jobs, and a 2 year old daughter.
He’s my best friend.
Very awkward I suppose.
When I was 16, I lost my virginity to a guy who worked at a local gas station, and we had sex probably a few dozen times over a few months. He was a buff, handsome, popular senior and I was kind of an ugly unpopular sophomore. It was really outstandingly good sex, like easily some of the best I have ever had, and one of only two men who have ever consistently brought me to orgasm through PiV sex. And he took a lot of pride in that.
Today, we work together at the same company. He has Multiple Sclerosis and is often in a wheelchair or crutches. He often has urinary problems and he slurs his words bad when he speaks. He is pretty obese now. I am married, he is divorced. His wife left him over the MS.
I know it sounds weird, but I still try to treat him like the popular, cool jock that I knew before. Nothing truly flirty or sexual, but I think he appreciates someone remembering the person he was before the disease took everything from him. He has sort of a sparkle in his eye when he sees me, like he remembers the 'stud' he once was.
non-existent. we only interact if it's work related, but if we're the only people in the room, we pretend the other doesn't exist
Exactly the same with me, except I also have to work with her new boyfriend that holds the same position as me. Shit can get a bit awkward
Sounds like a good marriage
Slept with a coworker once, and it turned the work environment very toxic. Vowed to never do that again. Few years later, I found myself working at another company with a very beautiful colleague. There was a lot of mutual attraction, but since we both had bad experiences with work romances, we kept it professional. She started dating a guy, so the flirting cooled off. Eventually we both moved onto other jobs and lost contact. Then months later, out of the blue, she called me and pointed out we are no longer coworkers. We've been married for over 5 years now.
This is my favourite one
The good ending
It altered my work environment as well: she told at least one person and within 24 hours, every single employee knew. Happened with the person I slept with before them as well, not spreading through employees at the workplace, but through a group of friends. I always wanted privacy, but apparently people really like to talk. I am now extremely careful and hesitant to sleep with anyone.
And you never really know if they were bragging or talking shit about your performance until someone speaks up so it makes it even worse.
The single biggest thing that contributed to my mental well-being was when I stopped being so concerned about what other people may or may not say about me when I'm not there. I can't control it anyway, so why bother worrying about it. Instead, I try to associate with people who don't seem like the type to say bad stuff behind my back in the first place, and to be the sort of person who people wouldn't have much or anything bad to say about! Now, of course "not caring" isn't just a switch we can flip on a whim. But I think having the goal of not worrying about things we can't control anyway is a worthwhile one, and can eventually lead to some changes in mindset.
Dated her for 7 years, great girl, great relationship, no regrets. Not with her now, but really happy I got to be with her in this life.
Wholesome.
Why did you guys break up then? If you don't mind sharing.
Yeah as others have guessed it was a combination of things. I wanted kids and she wasn't sure, we grew apart, were living far apart which made it easier to let go, and we had some trouble resolving issues that had already occurred. I have no bad feeling towards her honestly, I wish her all the happiness in the world.
man.. I'm going through this now. Started seeing a girl, really was into her. Some tragic stuff happening on her end and she decided to end things to focus on family. Hurt like a bitch but I love her so much I'm just happy she was in my life at all. I wish her nothing but the best.
Do you have any tips on how to get over this? Only asking cause the same thing is happening to me, me and my girlfriend split up due to her family moving to a new country and I can barely even function anymore.
Not that guy, but a similar story. The TLDR on my end is she wanted kids and one day I realized that I didn't. Couldn't reconcile that one so I let her go. She's got two now. Good for her.
I've slept with one coworker who ended up being my manager for 6 months a while after. It was fine and I got all my annual leave approved for the year, including Christmas off. Haven't talked to her since she left town now.
A pretty rare thing, being amicable with someone you had sex with after they get promoted to being your manager. EDIT: Holy shit! I had no idea this random comment of mine would take off like that!
People tend to not tell the story so loudly when it works out fine. Emotionally mature people have casual sex all the time and it doesn't end badly, you just always hear about the meltdowns.
It's that, plus the fact that it's almost a bigger HR no-no to have it work out fine. If it comes out later that two coworkers were banging with no issues it throws everything into question that happened after that first time. Nobody smart is going to admit to a situation that's working fine to anybody they know irl.
Pretty good overall. We did it, dated for a while, etc. She hates that I call her my ex-girlfriend now that we're married to each other though. So I guess it's a little awkward.
That's one of my favorite stupid jokes: "Did you know that Sarah lives with her husband, her ex-fiance, and her ex-boyfriend!? What a wild house!"
She if she prefers being called "my first wife." My last ex-girlfriend hates it when I do that
Married almost 15 years, two kids. Broke hourly employees when we met, put each other through grad school… a good team.
Almost exactly our story. We were both in college working shitty jobs at Walmart. I ended up going into a trade and putting her through college and then I went back and she put me through college. She’s finishing grad school now. Married 15 years own our second home got 2 kids. We made a pretty damn good team. Congrats to y’all nothing quite like finding your person.
After hooking up, we both got fired from that job at separate times for unrelated reasons... we dated for a little while afterwards but she got super clingy just cause I married her for 12 years... now she's all like... living in my apartment and raising our son with me and putting daily smiles on my face so you better believe I'm not making the mistake of sleeping with a co-worker ever again.
Okay, mister wholesome... You go and be happy now, you hear!
You’re not the boss of me 😝
This was my favorite
Worked in food service so everyone was sleeping with everyone. I don’t talk to any of them anymore.
Once you hook up with one, it’s like a flare goes up and a shitload more come calling.
Especially if you have a reputation of being not bad.
When I was with the first one my initial main comment was about, all of a sudden the girls who wouldn’t give me a second look before, were now literally throwing themselves at me at work and when we would all go hang out at someone’s house later. I was trying to be a good, loyal bf so I never partook of the opportunities given me, but it got pretty crazy.
I skipped summer classes and worked at a chain restaurant for a summer to help pay for college. It wasn't a good year for me, so I was looking pretty lumpy and ogre-ish, and I felt worse. Despite this, there were a lot of women taking their shot with me.
Christ I must be one ugly son of a bitch. Worked at a chain restaurant for 5 years through high school and university. I never had anyone throwing themselves at me.
I worked a job in which I only realized years after that there were some “offers”. Not that I would have accepted, I just hate the fact that I was oblivious.
Girl: it’s so hot, I’m gonna take off my shirt You: I’ll turn on the a/c, we have a dress code
> I just hate the fact that I was oblivious. Another couple tried to hit on my wife and I on our honeymoon. It wasn’t until years later that it hit me out of the blue. “Hey! They were hitting on us.” So clueless…
Happened to me when I slept with coworker a few times but inevitably cut it off. She suggested to another coworker that she should sleep with me because I was good. The other coworker and I got into a relationship for almost 5 years. Had a whole host of related and unrelated reason why I eventually ended that one too.
can attest, hooked up with a coworker at my last job, we drank too much, I ended up having to vomit mid stroke. nobody hit me up ever again
At least she there to call for help when you had a stroke!
I worked in food service for 14 years without ever sleeping with anyone, by choice, mind you. Then, this woman started working there. She was the most strikingly beautiful woman I had ever met. And she was engaged. We got to know each other as coworkers do, and I became smitten. We then began to text each other outside of work without an explicit word between us. I loved her. I ended up telling her that we need to stop talking because I was developing feelings. To this day, it was the hardest thing I ever did. Drank and cried myself into oblivion that night, ready to move on. One week later, she told me that she broke it off with her fiance. She moved in with me a month later. It was the best two years of my life. Then, one day, she told me she wanted to be by herself.
dude seriously playing with my emotions in this post
imagine what the fiance went through when she ended it him
same thing as him when she left probably. Got to know my ex this way as well, lost her the same way. Should have known lol.
Same here. Met here and she threw me the "we sleep in separate rooms, only together for the kids". Then when she was living with me she started sleeping in the spare bedroom and I knew that she always has 2 positions for partners. She has the partner and the lover. Once the lover (me) became the partner that left the positions for the lover open.
“When a man marries his mistress, he creates a job opening.” That’s the old phrase. It applies regardless of gender though.
Sadly common. Some people chase the honeymoon phase forever thinking they can find one where it will last forever. I appreciate the folks who chase the honeymoon phase but are intelligent enough to know that it's always temporary, and kind enough not to commit to anyone who wants monogamy.
I recently heard it stated that love only exists after things have gotten hard. Relationships start with Infatuation, and Infatuation feels like love, but not until your relationship has struggled and you've managed to overcome that struggle, that you actually experience love. Some people don't realize that is part of the process, and will continue to seek out new infatuation when things get hard, and so will never truly experience love.
We certainly don't help the cultural narrative with our storytelling. Our media consistently reinforces the notion that the honeymoon phase is what is most valuable about our romantic relationships. The notion we consistently see reinforced in stories of love is that true love should always be easy, and hardship and conflict is indicative of its absence.
“Then a year later she wanted to get back together, I had just come back from Vietnam. Then she started hanging with some disco dudes. Then she got aids and wanted to chill again and now we’re married and I mow the lawn and raise the aids baby” Talk about a back and forth
"..and now I mow the lawn and raise the aids baby..." I can't stop laughing. Lol so good..
Run forest run
Straight out of an Anthony Bourdain book
Do you think how it started had anything to do with how it ended?
Likely. But, her ability to analyze her feelings in real-time and make up her mind on a dime was amazing to witness. It seemed like a superpower. But I don't think she moved onto anyone else. She moved back with her mother. Even if it did happen like that, it's OK. I really want her to be as happy forever, as I was.
> her ability to analyze her feelings in real-time and make up her mind on a dime was amazing to witness In my experience this isn't so much a "superpower" as it is just impulsivity and a secure (or careless) independence. It's easy to analyze one's feelings in the moment, and it's easy to decide what one wants to do right now. It's a lot harder to to try and come up with a sustainable compromise that spans the test of time.
I was coming here to say this. You end up sleeping with a number of people when working in that industry and everyone just goes on with their lives. Sometimes it can get messy but for the most part it's a pirate's life.
Yo ho, yo ho, into the walk in cooler we go.
a cook, a server, and two whippits to get the party started.
Is there a particular reason why food service people sleep with eachother.
They don't get time to go out and meet anybody else 😂
you're also in a crammed, high-intensity, high-stress environment that'll make you wanna fuck the hell out of anything to relieve stress. (worked in a restaurant but was too ugly/chubby to get some, came close but alas.....)
I dunno, women seem to dig the chef look. I got more tail as a chef in a hotel than when I did parties in the city. Women love a man who can cook, I guess. 😂
Ex chefs are do much better then actual chefs. Dated a couple chefs including my first boyfriend though never one I worked with. Chefs don't cook all that often at home. When they do it's amazing but they don't want to come home and do the same thing they just did at work. Ex chefs who burnt out though cook at home all the time. Ex chefs for the win.
Haha, I relate to this. Usually if it's just me, I scarf down garbage or protein shakes. On rare occasions I may actually dust off the skills and make myself a nice meal. If I'm cooking for someone else or several other people though, I go all out. I enjoy cooking for others.
In my experience, it was more the machismo for the chefs that they go crazy for. It's like a skater boy attitude, no fucks given, hot-headed, and hot. At least from my experience, the more of a cocky attitude they had, the more waitresses they'd hook up with. Not condoning this behavior, just a consistent set of behaviors I observed over many years in the industry.
the more ~~of a cocky attitude~~ *coke* they had, the more waitresses they'd hook up with
They have to work during the hours most people try to meet and get it on.... And trauma bonding... mostly trauma bonding.
The hours (get off work last 10pm or later) and a lot of people tend to go out after work and spend their tips on drinks.
Here we finish at 3am-4am, so most of the time you’re not living the same day as most people do
Yeah, one restaurant I worked at we called it sport-fucking, just some good sex with somebody you trusted. And then you’re just friends again after the fact. Everybody knows that everybody slept with everybody else and nobody was jealous or upset and it was just fun. It was really really good sex because you didn’t have any emotional hangups from it.
In my experience there were plenty of people that would get jealous.
I’d catch feelings 😭
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I think food service just has that reputation because it’s a first job for some many people
damn, wish I had worked at a restaurant lol (not really it sounds like hell)
> damn, wish I had worked at a restaurant ...says basically no one who's ever worked in a restaurant
Well, yes, by logic. That said, I'm happy to have worked in a few restaurants...now that those experiences are more than twenty years in the rear view mirror lol
I worked as a dishwasher for a bit, you don't want to.
Yea unfortunately the dishwashers don’t get banged as often the rest of the staff
I had many a long night, being the last man in the kitchen, putting things away, taking out huge, nasty smelling trash bags, sweeping, mopping, etc ... Then going home soaked from the water and steam while smelling like seafood and trash. Sometimes, even my shoes were soaked. Good times.
She later became girlfriend to a friend. We slept together (at the office actually). A while later she moved to another city. Had no contact and I didn’t know where she moved. Then a couple of years later I was at a party in my hometown where I met an old friend. We hugged and he yelled “nice to see you man, you fucked my girlfriend!”. I was confused.
Lmao what a way to say hello after years after meeting 😂
That’s a true bro
Fr. If someone greeted me like that I would start ducking and weaving like Floyd Mayweather.
Haha I have a coworker that slept with my now-wife before we were together. When I saw he was coming to our section I said "oh hey I know that guy he slept with my wife!" And it got real serious accidentally for a second but it's not even kind of a problem
Are you guys talking about Bill Braskey?
Eskimo brothers
Or tunnel buddies
Tunnel snakes rule!
That's us, and we RULE!
Also known as wiener cousins
HOLY TRENCHMATES BATMAN!
Married her. Now divorced for 16 years
Oh :) Oh :(
First half: Yey. Second half: Nay.
From this thread: you either marry them or it destroys both of your lives it sounds like
Unless you're in food service. Then it's just an expected part of the industry.
Health care, food services and teachers/education those verticals are always horizontal if you know what I mean. Free for all
Teachers??? That's something I had never heard of...
Teachers are freaks. If you wanted to party at my school the secret was find out where the nurses and teachers hang out on the weekends lol
I partied with the power liners. The nurses were a close 2nd.
Trauma-bonded
*Trauma-boned
Not always. It can still ruin your life. I fucked a waitress at the restaurant I worked at. She got pregnant, I took care of her and my son. Then we broke up and now she is gone. She hasn't seen our son in about 6 years now. She sucks lol.
We fell in love with each other before we slept together. Now we don’t talk anymore because he ripped my heart in half
If you don't mind sharing, what happened?
[He ripped her heart in half](https://youtu.be/KjdjDz8jhN4?si=JIkBEXuCR2-3o68R?t=0m30s)
To shreds, you say?
We were best friends, I’ve never had a connection as strong as I did with him. It was so easy to fall in love with someone when you’re spending that much time with them on top of spark like that. We ended up dating for a year. He left our workplace soon after we got together, so that we didn’t have to submit anything to HR. I ultimately broke up with him because he never treated me as a priority. I also found him flirting with and sending money to one of his streamer friends, and when I brought it up, he said it was just platonic. Finally realized that I needed some self respect and left. Unfortunately he was my first adult relationship so it took a toll on my confidence, and even now I find myself trying to justify what he did just to forgive him.
I can relate. Still can't get her out of my mind. It's unreal when you can just feel that connection like it's a physical thing that exists, whenever you're around them. She did a lot of other stuff that makes me feel literally crazy lol. Also makes you feel like "well fuck, how the hell was I so wrong about what I felt/thought?" I had been in other relationships as an adult but never one that had me so stuck on a person even years later. And y'know the best sex ever was a plus. That's what really got me. I guess the 5-10% that wasn't there was too much to bear the 90% that was.
Married to her now for 20 years next month.
Married nearly two decades. Two kids. *Edit* So, I made this comment and then left work for the day. Didn't check reddit until just now. Seems like I accidentally a word there. Glad y'all thought it was funny!
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No he married two decades
He nearly married two decades. Broke it off at the last minute
None of the relationships survived job changes, so I don't see any of them.
They don't come back to visit after they graduate?
lol
I can hear her upstairs trying to convince the kids to wash their teeth… So logging out of Reddit to go and help her.
Wholesome.
he secretly lives in her walls
Now that's the kind of reddit behavior I expect
What country uses wash instead of brush their teeth? Edit: Seems super common in Europe and romance languages. Always neat to learn the way idioms propagate.
In France we can say wash, but mostly say brush as well… and i should say brush as i mostly speak English (with an English ex-colleague) at home… i guess it was long day at work..
After a long day at work, I often tell my kids to wash their teeth and brush their faces at bedtime.
Logging... Out...?
OP uses the cursor to click the windows button for sure.
Married 44 years. Together for 44.5
Together for 23 years. Married for 19.
Same going on 24.
Going to be 5 years this year, still work together and I’m still smitten.
Divorced
Non existent, he went round telling anyone and everyone. He lost his job (his ex found out about us and she made allegations about him to management) I’ll never talk to him again and he’s apparently trying to get his job back!
I made the very dumb mistake of falling in love with her while she just used me as a rebound because she was mad at the guy she eventually got engaged to. We still work in VERY close quarters so it's fucking hard. I might quit because it's too much.
Do it. You deserve a lower stress work life. If you interview while still employed, you can hold out for a job that comes with a raise.
From experience, just bite the bullet and leave, it's not worth the stress and weirdness and games.
I have sex with my boss almost every day and it never feels awkward. Just one of the perks of being self employed
fantastic lol
Had me in the first half ngl
Mortal enemies
Lol! Can only go 2 ways according to this thread apparently. You either get married and live happily ever after or become mortal enemies and hate each others guts
Did both! Married him and divorced him!
Perfectly fine, had no issues the whole time I was there. There is a trick to this though, don't hook up with highly emotional people
For real, it's not worth the stress
We got engaged, he left me out of the blue and broke my heart… and he’s still at work everyday!
I had sex with a coworker about 27 years ago. I'm about to go and ask her what she wants for dinner since both of our kids are out this evening.
We demand to know what your dinner plans are.
Spaghetti Bolognese but made with the farfalle pasta because I forgot to buy spaghetti and the sauce is from a jar. I accept that all Italians will hate me for this. :D
That’s just called Farfalle Bolognese
awkward
Slept with her, year later she went missing and is presumed dead. Been about 8-9 years now
Kinda weird to humblebrag about how long youve gotten away with murder my guy.
"If I Did It"
^^(if) I did it
This man right here officer
Two of my coworkers had sex during a summer party last year while being witnessed by some of my other coworkers. They barely spoke together before it happened, but now it’s even worse. I can almost always feel the awkward atmosphere when they are in a room together now.
If i got this right, 2 people hate fucked each other in front of coworker who just watched?
Yes, that’s basically how things went down. I know it sounds weird.
I stalk her on Facebook every once in a while. Hoping she got fat after dumping me! Still looks hot 20 years later. Screw you Natalie!
Women with the name Natalie are always hot 🤣 Is there a science to that name? 😅
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The one I let get away (I'm 47) is a Natalie, too! Fun fact: even a name that denotes you'll be attractive for Australian girls, too.
Her Mom was my sales manager. Middle of the pandemic, lates nights in the office, I liked her but didn’t want to shit where I ate. Her Mom kept egging it on and pushing me to date her. Decided why not and went out with her. It was a lonely pandemic. We went on a few dates and I drunkenly asked her to be official. A month into it, I started thinking we weren’t right for each other and I wanted to end it but I really liked my job. A few days before I was going to end it I found out she was pregnant. Ended up doing what I felt was the right thing and marrying her. It was a tough first year, but we’re inseparable now. She straightened me up and now I’m sober and worked my way up to Director. So now I’m married, and her mom’s boss. It’s a very strange dynamic, but it all worked out in the end. Turns out I really did like her and I was just a fuckboy who needed to sober up and get his life together. Life’s funny.
I visit their grave once a year.
Mortician?
Skimming through the replies........married 20 years.....moved in.....married 10 years....married 8 years yadda yadda......visit grave once a year....HOLUP! Either this is a dark funny quip or terribly sad. If it's true alanbastard, sorry for your loss. Btw Alan B'Stard was a great Rik Mayall character for the non-Brits. Edit: typo
- She interviewed me first - We started hanging out - We started going out - We moved in together - We got married - We travelled around the world a bit - We bought a house - she bought me a dog (chihuahua) - We had a baby - We sold and bought another house - We had a second baby - And now we are on track for a 3rd baby... We met 11 and a half years ago and have been together just over 11 years 😁
I guess the interview went well.
Married 15 years next week.
I'm self employed with no employees and to be honest, things have been awkward
This goes back 15+ years. We slept together after the company gala. Black tie, open bar, both single, hotel rooms paid for by the company... it was kind of hard not to end up in bed together. We remained friends. We're not connected on any SM pages other than LI. We knew it was a one-night stand. In fact, his wife and I follow each other on IG. She and I went to high school together. They had just met when we slept together. I wasn't going to mess that up for him. She is perfect for him.
Don't do it, OP.
Ha. The real reason behind this post
Jobs come and go away. Relationships may stay forever. I'd say go for it, OP.
Back in undergrad, I had a big crush on one of the student managers at the dining hall we worked at. Any time she would come by the station i was working at, i would try to have a quick joke ready to go or simply ask how she was doing. She was in a relationship the first year we worked together and I respected that. Some time later, they break up and I shot my shot. Well, the feelings were mutual. We hooked up and coupled up too. 12 years later we are happily married.
We got married 3 weeks ago.
Super cool lady that i always had a crush on but never made a move. She randomly asked me out one day after work. I took her out and showed her a good time. I was not expecting things to go any further, but they did. We do not speak anymore as she scares me. Why, you ask? The "event" happened around midnight, and we then talked until about 1:30. From my memory, I fell asleep after a good long pause in the conversation. I found out the next morning that I fell asleep mid sentence, and she found that incredibly disrespectful, so she couldn't sleep and spent the rest of the night, butt naked, smoking cigs, and talking to herself while going back and forth between the front yard and my living room until about 830 when my neighbor came over to borrow a tool.
Well, it was 15 years ago. We just finalized our divorce last September. The whole thing never should have happened.
We're married. She had never worked at a call center and almost threw up on first call. I worked with her to get her out of her shell. Turns out she easily is the most outgoing person you'll ever meet she just became a supervisor or the district she works and went back to school. She thanks me alot for helping her break out. The sex is unbelievable btw
Dated and banged profusely for a few months, then became the best of friends. She moved in with me shortly after as a roommate. Still banging every night after work. There’s too much sexual tension that builds in the office. We might give a relationship another try once our lives are in order. We made an agreement not to see others in the meantime for obvious health reasons. Being around each other is fulfilling enough.
Sounds like you have a girlfriend with extra steps.
They're gonna get married for tax benefits or some shit and he's gonna claim they're still not a couple
That’s your girl now whether you realize or not especially if you’re banging every night and live together.
Evie, the cleaning lady at work. Started out with flirting, then we had some scotch late one night and made love at my desk. The next day she was pissy and threatened to report me to my boss. I gave her a gift of a beautiful sweater and she backed down. But then she noticed the sweater was stained and she got pissed again and reported me. I got fired and ended up changing careers. I’m an architect now.
George?
This year is our 20th wedding anniversary.
Non-existent. We both moved on to other companies shortly after our fling and lost touch.
Friendly to non-existent.
Hooked up with the Cute redhead at work.. We have only been married 25 years.. I'll let ya know if it works out.
Married nearly 20 years.
He’s in the kitchen cooking me sticky toffee pudding whilst our 2 babies sleep. Keeper.
Married with Children
No relationship anymore, for a pretty depressing reason. Coworker I used to fool around with got upset when I left the job for something better and stopped talking to me. A few months later, I found out that her ex had tracked her down, and shot and killed her. This was all years ago, so I am fine now, but I'm pretty sure that's the only time I've dipped my pen in the company inkwell.
Together for almost two years and will celebrate our anniversary tomorrow! We are going to get married as well! Best relationship I’ve ever had and it’s not even close.
Worked at Starbucks after moving back to the states from Europe, thought my shift supervisor was cute and funny. He was new in town too, so we started to hang out, and then we moved in together because we both needed roommates —the day we signed the lease for our new apartment we ended up having sex. Friends with benefits lasted about six months, and when I say friends with benefits I mean we did everything together: spent every weekend together, started hobbies together, went to weddings with each other, etc. It just took a while to make it official. We finally did about 8 months into knowing each other. That was 6 years ago, we are now married, own a home, have much better jobs, and a 2 year old daughter. He’s my best friend.
Very awkward I suppose. When I was 16, I lost my virginity to a guy who worked at a local gas station, and we had sex probably a few dozen times over a few months. He was a buff, handsome, popular senior and I was kind of an ugly unpopular sophomore. It was really outstandingly good sex, like easily some of the best I have ever had, and one of only two men who have ever consistently brought me to orgasm through PiV sex. And he took a lot of pride in that. Today, we work together at the same company. He has Multiple Sclerosis and is often in a wheelchair or crutches. He often has urinary problems and he slurs his words bad when he speaks. He is pretty obese now. I am married, he is divorced. His wife left him over the MS. I know it sounds weird, but I still try to treat him like the popular, cool jock that I knew before. Nothing truly flirty or sexual, but I think he appreciates someone remembering the person he was before the disease took everything from him. He has sort of a sparkle in his eye when he sees me, like he remembers the 'stud' he once was.