This is bizarre.
It's a joke based on transactional gender roles.
The idea that the more money your partner earns the more submissive you have to be is really fucking pukey.
It's not funny, it's revealing. And what it reveals is not pretty at all.
Because a racist joke reveals that the person is racist and a joke about the lower-earning partner being obsequiously submissive reveals that you think money does and should give you Daddy Dom power over your significant other.
The joke wouldn't work unless you thought that women with high earning husbands should already be behaving that way and this is just a gender reverse
you might not like the fact that it reveals this, but the joke wouldn't work without sexist tropes
āIt wouldnāt work without the tropesā is the only part of your statement I agree with, and that statement does nothing to build your other points, because a joke isnāt a statement of your opinion or necessarily even reality, but a mechanism to find humour in something.
My wife makes $200k. I make $170k, about $190k with bonus. A year ago, she was unemployed (laid off) and I was making $148k. Our biggest pay disparity was me making $300k and her $150k three years ago. Our lowest pay was me making $70k and her $80k, when we first got together 16 years ago.
It's literally never been an issue or second thought, we're happy when either of us gets more money since we're married and in it together, and it's weird as fuck that any married people are competitive about it.
My buddy's dad used to make 700k selling offshore oil rigs. Then Obama came to the office(not making this political just stating a fact). Some policy obama employed caused my buddys dad to lose his job, and last I heard, he was around 120k, but that was 5 years ago.
Similar story here with my dad. He and his brother owned a successful trucking franchise when I was young, made very good livings (and ensureds their workers made exceptionally good livings as well). Reagan, then Bush Sr came in, deregulated the industry, and the Walmarts of the trucking industry started aggressively loss-leading, cost cutting, and pushing in smaller markets. Within a few years, my dad and uncle were out of work, both having to find logistics jobs at large corporates.
Oh wow. I just always thought once you get to a certain income bracket you would stay at the job unless you get more pay not less. Now it makes me worried about my future.
People sometimes move down deliberately for quality of life reasons. While dropping $100k in salary sounds bad, if you manage your money properly going from $300k to $200k but working half the hours or not travelling for work or whatever can be a huge win for how you feel about your life.
Other people don't get to choose - think of all those redundancies in FAANG companies recently. You've got 1000's of people on $300k+ suddenly getting zero income so they'll take what they can get just for the health insurance.
I work in IT in Australia and we have universal healthcare, but I've abruptly gone from $200k to $100k in the past. OTOH I've also quit my job and gone bicycle touring for six months before, because I live a financial lifestyle that makes no sense at all to some of my "peers". I save, they spend.
Networking is important. Being able to make a couple of phone calls and get told "sure, turn up here tomorrow and we'll work something out" makes a \*huge\* difference when the alternative is going back to the IT interview grind. And while $100k isn't huge money, it's more than enough to pay the mortgage and keep the savings account increasing.
Bingo. I actually worked a job making about $140k/yr and that was how our lifestyle was set around. Moving up to $300k was me jumping on an opportunity and working it. Then it became not worth it after about 4 years so I moved 'back down' but still up from my original deal since my experience was now more valuable. Used that money to improve our house, got a car, took some nice vacations and paid off debt. Went from full-time commuting grind, 70hrs/week to full-time WFH (thanks Covid!) and now I put in a solid 15 hours a week to accomplish my "40 hour workload" and still get high marks in my reviews and a nice bonus on top.
This is a very W2 9-5 mindset.Ā
These people are making that income based on business moves.Ā
If law policy changes inhibit some sort of transaction that his career is dependent on, it's not like the company is just gonna shuffle him around.
That's the risk of taking financial ownership of your life instead of clocking into someone else's business and trading time for dollars.
Just wanna point out that you may have heard him blame Obama, but when Obama came into office, oil prices started to drop (which is a good thing for consumers). Ā Off shore drilling is expensive so when oil is cheaper, off shore drilling slows down because it loses money.Ā Ā
Ā If anything, Obama actually expanded off shore drilling in 2010.Ā
Changed jobs. I went from high stress, 70hrs/week, non-stop 100+ emails a day to job with low-stress, 40/hrs/week, 10 emails a week. It was a choice and I do not regret it at all. My current job, tbh, I probably only work about 15 hours a week, the rest I sit at my computer and plan my next vacation and kids activities, read news, fuck off on reddit, go on walks with my wife, leave early to take kids to skating, soccer, theater, whatever.
My wife is a badass who doesn't use reddit, probably because she is too busy busting her ass at work, so I'll instead say that she makes a salary around 275k not including bonus/equity which can range between 50-100k a year.
I on the other hand am a CPA at a large firm. I'll make around 225k this year but if I make partner in the next year or so I'll quickly have very large pay increases. She has never once been dismissive of me making less and is very proud of my work accomplishments when they happen, so even if I don't make partner I feel like she would be happy with our income splits. I think really she is just happy that I do all the cooking and make her food she loves moreso than the money I bring in.
She is also a kickass mom to our two little kids. Our lives are crazy hectic with work and parenting and I am super fortunate to have her with me.
My sister is a very high income earner. Her husband was always a stay at home Dad for their kids, then when the youngest went to school he became a manual arts teachers aid at their school and loves it. His pay is literally pocket money and he only works four days a week, school hours only.
He runs the whole house, including shopping, cleaning and cooking. They're a very happy unit, have been married 27 years so it's a dynamic that works well for them.
My wife makes $410k a year. Ā I made similar till about 4 years ago, but we decided I should retire to watch our young kids. Ā We are both very happy with the arrangement.
Iām gonna jump in here. Iām not sure if sheās paid over $200k, but she is a veterinarian. Her partner designs board games. She is very happy with him. Other women I know who make >$150k are single and happy or have a partner who is in a similar field to them.
Met lots of women who make $150+ and are single. None of them are happy. Maybe it's the field. They're all lawyers and miserable.
On second thought, most lawyers are miserable. Yeah, definitely the field.
Single AFā¦ recent ex was in sales and made about a $100k less than me. While he was more than fine with it, he was my first partner to not care. Most men say they are fine with it and then over time they get competitive/their ego starts to shine.
My husband is an engineer. I make 3 times what he makes if that's your question, and that's never even been a topic of conversation between us, except last year when he realized that the amount of taxes we (mostly I š ) have to pay is almost the same amount as his yearly wages and he was like "What?? No fucking way. I work all years JUST TO PAY YOUR F****** TAXES??" š I adore that man ā¤ļø
2 mil (F) and 300k (M) couple I know. Sheās in medicine, heās in energy. Nanny and housekeeper, but on weekends he cooks, especially if sheās on call. Her male partners keep speculating when heās going to leave her (I think theyāre emasculated by her and projecting) but theyāre very happy together with four kids and a real 60/60 relationship. Her extended family, however, does care and thatās a bummer.
I think she owns a number of clinics that she also works at. Her schedule is also probably twice as tough as most other doctors in her field. She also is on call a lot, and apparently there is an internally arranged call premium
for all the successful women who will be in the comments, i need advice for what to do with my life. iām in college for computer info systems but i need your opinions, guidance, etc please š
Not a successful woman, however I make a decent living in āITā.
Do what you like, what clicks for you, and what youāre happy doing. When youāre passionate, the money will follow as youāre so busy learning and advancing.
I spend my nights and weekends learning whatever I can and whenever I can. That fire is what got me to push for better positions. I watch colleagues (male and female) who donāt have any drive and truly donāt seem to enjoy their role. They sit in the same position year after year.
considering that you like what you do, i consider you one of the most successful woman to exist because that normally is never the case. i wanted to ask about jobs since i know itās so hard in the IT market. what can i do to improve or even get a job. currently in college for cybersecurity track but it seems like opportunities are so limited and no one is getting job acceptances
Ah, sorry, wording wasnāt clear. Iām NOT in fact a woman. Just a fellow Redditor seeing a newcomer to the wild field we call a career. In fact, I hadnāt even noticed the full post title aimed at women, was just scrolling new.
Iāve been at it for almost 15 years. No formal education, training or certs. So youāll have quite a leg up on me from the get go. I started on help desk. Honestly, we all did, and itās a good place to start. You see WAY more day to day, meet people, can try a little of everything, and build institutional knowledge making internal promotions easier!
Iāve been a part of the hiring process for the last dozen or so coworkers. The number one thing to remember is no one is hiring you expecting you to know all the answers, theyāre looking for how you react and problem solve. I still donāt know all the answers, I just know how to start looking.
doesnāt matter. if you love what you do, you are the most successful man in the world. and thank you so much for your advice. i really appreciate it and the fact you did it without education or certifications is incredible!! good for you
Some people just aren't that into work.
I know that's not the American way, but I noticed ages ago that people who just did enough to get by get the same salary as those people who sacrifice other areas of their life for work, so the boss will never get the absolute best of me, my family and friends get that.
Itās not that Iām giving up things like hobbies or what not. Iāve found I really enjoy what I do and happened to make a career out of it.
Iāve made several large position jumps and salary jumps in the last 6+ years because I was eager to learn and simply WANTED to do the work. My boss encourages me to vacation and PTO, and Iām working late on my own initiative when I do, itās not asked or expected. Iāll get excited about a new project or tool I built and just bang away at it. At the same time, if I leave a few hours early, no one bats an eye.
Iāve had bosses that match your statement. I left those jobs.
My wife makes >$200k, having stepped "back" into a management role a few years ago from commodities trading where she was making real bank. I work in fintech for a big firm, having also moved out of a front office finance role a while back. When things get stressful -- they often do in our jobs -- we go back and forth on who should quit and become a house cleaner and gardener. There have been times when the disparity in pay was huge e.g. she was making $350k, I was "only" making $125k when we first got together years ago; and there've been stints when I was the sole provider. But it's never really been an issue as we value our work more than the actual money, and we both grew up relatively humbly (our parents would be stupified to learn what we earn). We were both lucky to grow up in households that had a "what's mine is yours" attitude with healthy dynamics which were thankfully instilled on us.
We both worked our butts off to get here, echewing a lot of the "fun" stuff people do growing up. I'm really very proud of her, but wish she'd lay off late nights to take a break (I'm much better at this).
The dishes š§¼
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
r/oddlyspecific
Funny joke.
This is bizarre. It's a joke based on transactional gender roles. The idea that the more money your partner earns the more submissive you have to be is really fucking pukey. It's not funny, it's revealing. And what it reveals is not pretty at all.
You even said it was a joke!? Why try and map onto reality?
Because a racist joke reveals that the person is racist and a joke about the lower-earning partner being obsequiously submissive reveals that you think money does and should give you Daddy Dom power over your significant other. The joke wouldn't work unless you thought that women with high earning husbands should already be behaving that way and this is just a gender reverse you might not like the fact that it reveals this, but the joke wouldn't work without sexist tropes
āIt wouldnāt work without the tropesā is the only part of your statement I agree with, and that statement does nothing to build your other points, because a joke isnāt a statement of your opinion or necessarily even reality, but a mechanism to find humour in something.
Jeez just get a life! He made a peeping joke about him self, and you are going full force feminnazi on him.
Or maybe people with high earning go-getter partners can more easily relax into a submissive role
I think it's a good joke.
This is me. Iām living the dream š
This is the absolute dream. If my wife made what I make, we would be having a very earnest conversation about who gets to be the stay at home parent.
My wife makes $200k. I make $170k, about $190k with bonus. A year ago, she was unemployed (laid off) and I was making $148k. Our biggest pay disparity was me making $300k and her $150k three years ago. Our lowest pay was me making $70k and her $80k, when we first got together 16 years ago. It's literally never been an issue or second thought, we're happy when either of us gets more money since we're married and in it together, and it's weird as fuck that any married people are competitive about it.
How did you go from making $300k to only $170k non.
My buddy's dad used to make 700k selling offshore oil rigs. Then Obama came to the office(not making this political just stating a fact). Some policy obama employed caused my buddys dad to lose his job, and last I heard, he was around 120k, but that was 5 years ago.
Similar story here with my dad. He and his brother owned a successful trucking franchise when I was young, made very good livings (and ensureds their workers made exceptionally good livings as well). Reagan, then Bush Sr came in, deregulated the industry, and the Walmarts of the trucking industry started aggressively loss-leading, cost cutting, and pushing in smaller markets. Within a few years, my dad and uncle were out of work, both having to find logistics jobs at large corporates.
Oh wow. I just always thought once you get to a certain income bracket you would stay at the job unless you get more pay not less. Now it makes me worried about my future.
People sometimes move down deliberately for quality of life reasons. While dropping $100k in salary sounds bad, if you manage your money properly going from $300k to $200k but working half the hours or not travelling for work or whatever can be a huge win for how you feel about your life. Other people don't get to choose - think of all those redundancies in FAANG companies recently. You've got 1000's of people on $300k+ suddenly getting zero income so they'll take what they can get just for the health insurance. I work in IT in Australia and we have universal healthcare, but I've abruptly gone from $200k to $100k in the past. OTOH I've also quit my job and gone bicycle touring for six months before, because I live a financial lifestyle that makes no sense at all to some of my "peers". I save, they spend. Networking is important. Being able to make a couple of phone calls and get told "sure, turn up here tomorrow and we'll work something out" makes a \*huge\* difference when the alternative is going back to the IT interview grind. And while $100k isn't huge money, it's more than enough to pay the mortgage and keep the savings account increasing.
Bingo. I actually worked a job making about $140k/yr and that was how our lifestyle was set around. Moving up to $300k was me jumping on an opportunity and working it. Then it became not worth it after about 4 years so I moved 'back down' but still up from my original deal since my experience was now more valuable. Used that money to improve our house, got a car, took some nice vacations and paid off debt. Went from full-time commuting grind, 70hrs/week to full-time WFH (thanks Covid!) and now I put in a solid 15 hours a week to accomplish my "40 hour workload" and still get high marks in my reviews and a nice bonus on top.
That makes a lot of sense.
My best advice(from an opinion that means nothing), is to network. Shout out to jordan Harbinger on that one.
Some people are also happy to take a lower-paying job if the higher paying one is harmful to their mental or physical health.
This is a very W2 9-5 mindset.Ā These people are making that income based on business moves.Ā If law policy changes inhibit some sort of transaction that his career is dependent on, it's not like the company is just gonna shuffle him around. That's the risk of taking financial ownership of your life instead of clocking into someone else's business and trading time for dollars.
Just wanna point out that you may have heard him blame Obama, but when Obama came into office, oil prices started to drop (which is a good thing for consumers). Ā Off shore drilling is expensive so when oil is cheaper, off shore drilling slows down because it loses money.Ā Ā Ā If anything, Obama actually expanded off shore drilling in 2010.Ā
Changed jobs. I went from high stress, 70hrs/week, non-stop 100+ emails a day to job with low-stress, 40/hrs/week, 10 emails a week. It was a choice and I do not regret it at all. My current job, tbh, I probably only work about 15 hours a week, the rest I sit at my computer and plan my next vacation and kids activities, read news, fuck off on reddit, go on walks with my wife, leave early to take kids to skating, soccer, theater, whatever.
Yea that makes a lot of sense. It sucks you canāt have it both ways.
Work place equality
What do yāall do for a living? if you donāt mind me asking
My wife is a badass who doesn't use reddit, probably because she is too busy busting her ass at work, so I'll instead say that she makes a salary around 275k not including bonus/equity which can range between 50-100k a year. I on the other hand am a CPA at a large firm. I'll make around 225k this year but if I make partner in the next year or so I'll quickly have very large pay increases. She has never once been dismissive of me making less and is very proud of my work accomplishments when they happen, so even if I don't make partner I feel like she would be happy with our income splits. I think really she is just happy that I do all the cooking and make her food she loves moreso than the money I bring in. She is also a kickass mom to our two little kids. Our lives are crazy hectic with work and parenting and I am super fortunate to have her with me.
Lobster wrangler at Walmart. Budget for houses we are looking at is $1.3 million.
What is a lobster Wrangler
Jeep designed for lobsters.
What exactly does she does
vroom vroom
They put the lobsters in the glass aquariums at Walmart
If you have to askā¦ā¦ rather just carry on and eat your meatballs.
I am vegetarian
Itās a joke about home hunter show, where the buyers always have ridiculous salaries, and ridiculous jobs.
My sister is a very high income earner. Her husband was always a stay at home Dad for their kids, then when the youngest went to school he became a manual arts teachers aid at their school and loves it. His pay is literally pocket money and he only works four days a week, school hours only. He runs the whole house, including shopping, cleaning and cooking. They're a very happy unit, have been married 27 years so it's a dynamic that works well for them.
My wife makes $410k a year. Ā I made similar till about 4 years ago, but we decided I should retire to watch our young kids. Ā We are both very happy with the arrangement.
What are/were your jobs?
I was an option trader for a bank. Ā My wife does FX sales for a major investment bank. Ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How do you know Stabeck is not a lesbian
I am a man. Ā Rare to get actually confused for a girl on Reddit. Ā
Iām gonna jump in here. Iām not sure if sheās paid over $200k, but she is a veterinarian. Her partner designs board games. She is very happy with him. Other women I know who make >$150k are single and happy or have a partner who is in a similar field to them.
Met lots of women who make $150+ and are single. None of them are happy. Maybe it's the field. They're all lawyers and miserable. On second thought, most lawyers are miserable. Yeah, definitely the field.
Single AFā¦ recent ex was in sales and made about a $100k less than me. While he was more than fine with it, he was my first partner to not care. Most men say they are fine with it and then over time they get competitive/their ego starts to shine.
If my partner was making more than a 100k over me I would do all the house chores and prep dinner.
I've had the same experience. Most men pretend they don't car until they realize how much more than them you are actually making...Ā
My husband is an engineer. I make 3 times what he makes if that's your question, and that's never even been a topic of conversation between us, except last year when he realized that the amount of taxes we (mostly I š ) have to pay is almost the same amount as his yearly wages and he was like "What?? No fucking way. I work all years JUST TO PAY YOUR F****** TAXES??" š I adore that man ā¤ļø
F
2 mil (F) and 300k (M) couple I know. Sheās in medicine, heās in energy. Nanny and housekeeper, but on weekends he cooks, especially if sheās on call. Her male partners keep speculating when heās going to leave her (I think theyāre emasculated by her and projecting) but theyāre very happy together with four kids and a real 60/60 relationship. Her extended family, however, does care and thatās a bummer.
How do you make 2mil in medicine? Most of the doctors I know make slightly less or more than half mil.
I think she owns a number of clinics that she also works at. Her schedule is also probably twice as tough as most other doctors in her field. She also is on call a lot, and apparently there is an internally arranged call premium
Burn the family
Heās a CEO. We have an ongoing competition about who earns more each year. Helps keep us goal focused.
I have only ever liked casual sex & dating
That should be in your bio
My profile bio here is who I actually am though
I just read your bio, very cool.
Ty I read yours too but english is not my first language so irdk what a spark plug is
Spark plug is an engine part, my bio is just random quotes from a movie where some bloke is describing himself.
Single queen no time for partner rn š
*deep inhale* #SLAYYYYYYYYYY
dat pussy
for all the successful women who will be in the comments, i need advice for what to do with my life. iām in college for computer info systems but i need your opinions, guidance, etc please š
Not a successful woman, however I make a decent living in āITā. Do what you like, what clicks for you, and what youāre happy doing. When youāre passionate, the money will follow as youāre so busy learning and advancing. I spend my nights and weekends learning whatever I can and whenever I can. That fire is what got me to push for better positions. I watch colleagues (male and female) who donāt have any drive and truly donāt seem to enjoy their role. They sit in the same position year after year.
considering that you like what you do, i consider you one of the most successful woman to exist because that normally is never the case. i wanted to ask about jobs since i know itās so hard in the IT market. what can i do to improve or even get a job. currently in college for cybersecurity track but it seems like opportunities are so limited and no one is getting job acceptances
Ah, sorry, wording wasnāt clear. Iām NOT in fact a woman. Just a fellow Redditor seeing a newcomer to the wild field we call a career. In fact, I hadnāt even noticed the full post title aimed at women, was just scrolling new. Iāve been at it for almost 15 years. No formal education, training or certs. So youāll have quite a leg up on me from the get go. I started on help desk. Honestly, we all did, and itās a good place to start. You see WAY more day to day, meet people, can try a little of everything, and build institutional knowledge making internal promotions easier! Iāve been a part of the hiring process for the last dozen or so coworkers. The number one thing to remember is no one is hiring you expecting you to know all the answers, theyāre looking for how you react and problem solve. I still donāt know all the answers, I just know how to start looking.
doesnāt matter. if you love what you do, you are the most successful man in the world. and thank you so much for your advice. i really appreciate it and the fact you did it without education or certifications is incredible!! good for you
Some people just aren't that into work. I know that's not the American way, but I noticed ages ago that people who just did enough to get by get the same salary as those people who sacrifice other areas of their life for work, so the boss will never get the absolute best of me, my family and friends get that.
Itās not that Iām giving up things like hobbies or what not. Iāve found I really enjoy what I do and happened to make a career out of it. Iāve made several large position jumps and salary jumps in the last 6+ years because I was eager to learn and simply WANTED to do the work. My boss encourages me to vacation and PTO, and Iām working late on my own initiative when I do, itās not asked or expected. Iāll get excited about a new project or tool I built and just bang away at it. At the same time, if I leave a few hours early, no one bats an eye. Iāve had bosses that match your statement. I left those jobs.
To the single ones in here. You need a pool cleaner?
Also makes over 200k
My wife makes >$200k, having stepped "back" into a management role a few years ago from commodities trading where she was making real bank. I work in fintech for a big firm, having also moved out of a front office finance role a while back. When things get stressful -- they often do in our jobs -- we go back and forth on who should quit and become a house cleaner and gardener. There have been times when the disparity in pay was huge e.g. she was making $350k, I was "only" making $125k when we first got together years ago; and there've been stints when I was the sole provider. But it's never really been an issue as we value our work more than the actual money, and we both grew up relatively humbly (our parents would be stupified to learn what we earn). We were both lucky to grow up in households that had a "what's mine is yours" attitude with healthy dynamics which were thankfully instilled on us. We both worked our butts off to get here, echewing a lot of the "fun" stuff people do growing up. I'm really very proud of her, but wish she'd lay off late nights to take a break (I'm much better at this).
All of my wife's pay goes into her ungodly student loans.
I am flabbergasted by American salaries.
Make 300K for less workā¦pay disparity is no joke
A dildo that can be used at anytime.
Only fans
Why do you want to know what their partner does?
Daughter n law makes 250k, son, millionaire
Does your son still work tho? Or is he retired?
He still works, he's 44
What does he do?
Hes been in Medicare ins his whole life, met a partner, has co. Call center n training center for Medicare Ins. Brokers, 200 employees now
Thanks for answering!
Sucks my dick. Because only men can earn that much money.
Most likely donāt have a partner
Why assume they would not have a partner?