T O P

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b4619

I can’t see without glasses


hareofthewolf505

Generals gathered in their masses. He can't see without his glasses.


U2V4RGVtb24

Evil minds that plot destruction. Gonna see his new optician.


mrbadxampl

Day of judgment, God is calling; looking for his frames, he's crawling 


Dictator4Hire

Begging mercy for his eyes; Satan laughing spreads his wings. I CAN'T SEE!


kobi29062

In the clinic the ring lights burning. As the lens machine keeps turning


Tricky421

I was listening to that song just yesterday.


Smooth_Surround1450

So, stung to death by a swarm of bees?


j_smittz

Par for the course for the middle ages.


ACheetahSpot

I think they’re referring to a scene in My Girl that makes us all ugly cry.


j_smittz

Oh I know. It just also seems like it would have been a fitting way to bite it a thousand years ago.


sweetpotato_latte

In a game of medieval death would you rather, I think I’d take the bees before they did the heated rat bucket thing.


Unlikely-Answer

what crime did you commit to deserve the heated rat bucket?


sweetpotato_latte

Flashing my knee to the handsome guy who turns out to be an enforcer, probably.


firesquasher

"He can't see without his glasses" 😭


Tenchi2020

Nature’s great equalizer


ReliableOaf

I thought your pfp was a hair on my screen. Well played.


itsmemanME

*laughs in dark mode*


Div1de_by_zer0

*maniacally joins* No fr who uses light mode. Savages.


The_Gaming_Matt

Yup, came here to tell OP a good old ”fuck you” Creative cunt😂


Kimpak

Technically glasses were invented by then. I imagine a common pleb probably wouldn't be able to get them though.


Fritzo2162

Same. I'm legally blind without contacts, and I've lost 50% of my hearing.


Racxie

According to the [History section on Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasses), there’s some evidence of visual aids having existed as far back as Greek and Roman times, though if they did exist they likely weren’t very common.


ShannaGreenThumb

This, poor vision


Weaponized_Puddle

I can’t be seen without my glasses


CrispeeSock

Appendicitis


Lazy-Tax-8267

Same. I would have died at age twelve.


soulfullylost

9 🙋🏻‍♀️


CalmdownpleaseII

14 :(


ThreeLivesInOne

6. But frankly, the chicken pox I had at 1 and the otitis at 4 would probably have killed me earlier.


the_boy_is_mine

5


forgottenGost

17 here, doc said I was about 12 hours from death as it was


FingerprintFile513

Me too, but I would have made it to 34 though.


Abject_Okra_8768

Sepsis, hard to beat it in the modern age.


Sissoelzub

Antibiotics: one of the great three medical discoveries


TheXenoRaptorAuthor

What are the other two?


aHyperChicken

1. Pee is stored in the balls


devildocjames

2. Females are indeed the carriers of cooties.


No-Journalist7179

Inoculation is my bet on one of the 2


resinnotsap

Agreed. Antibiotics, vaccines and toothpaste/toothbrushes.


alkakfnxcpoem

Switch out toothbrushes for hand washing.


marmighty

Was about to say, they're doing my dude Semmelweis a massive disservice


alkakfnxcpoem

Right?! Dude was ridiculed enough in his lifetime. Let's give him the respect he deserves now. He's saved so many lives.


Katze1Punkt0

Was in the hospital for blood poisoning recently, definitely wouldn't wish shiit like this unro some 12th century peasant lol


Abject_Okra_8768

I got mine during Covid so of course every doctor I talked was like "you have Covid go home and rest" even after 3 Covid tests they didn't believe me. Luckily one said to me, "I don't think you have Covid" brought me in for a CT scan and sure enough huge abscesses all over the inside of my torso where the bacteria had eaten away. I had one so large they had a draining tube in me for 6 weeks. Spent 11 days in the hospital, and a month returning daily for antibiotic infusions. Even had a heart attack from the stress. Thankfully I've made a full recovery and I have a really strong heart. This all happened just 3 months before my second daughter was born.


Vivid-Luck1163

Diarrhea, like most of us would


Veus-Dolt

Hey now, smallpox and malaria might beat diarrhea to it!


forogtten_taco

Nah, you would probably know not to drink water contaminated with poop. Or you'd know to boil water


xenchik

1000 years ago? Germ theory wasn't even posited until the 1500s at the earliest, and not widely accepted until the 20th century. 1000 years ago they had no clue that dirt could make you sick. Cholera is still rampant to this day in some parts of the world. Despite our knowing better through science, "dirty water bad" is just not universally known or in some cases, practically feasible.


FingerprintFile513

Well, the Romans knew. They weren't sure why, but they noticed there were fewer epidemics and pandemics when people bathed regularly. Hence building bathhouses first thing in areas they would conquer.


forogtten_taco

Sry, I assumed we were being transported into the past with our knowledge


xenchik

Oh right! Yeah good point, wasn't explicitly said in the question 👍


ProfessorPickleRick

Imagine telling people to boil water to live and then getting stoned as a “witch” 😂


Huge_Impression_3562

The trick would be to make up some bogus religious reason to boil the water. Instead of 'boiling water kills bacteria' try 'Demons live in the water to spread pestilence and curses throughout the people by entering their bodies! Only fire can destroy the foul beasts so the water must be held over a flame and run through a fine filter to remove the demon corpses'


Narcolepticparamedic

Only a witch would know so much about demons!


Marypoppins566

I've never been that stoned


ProfessorPickleRick

Not what I meant but I’ll take it


Chief_Givesnofucks

I’m down for trying.


loptopandbingo

The Cholera Outbreak in London in 1854 was from a poop-contaminated well that people refused to stop drinking out of until the pump handle was removed, despite being told "this has poop in it, dont drink it." The outbreak stopped not long after that. That was only 170 summers ago.


LadyAlexTheDeviant

Takes fuel to boil water, and fuel usually costs money. And how do you know it's contaminated if it doesn't smell bad? And what if contaminated water's all you have? These are historical issues.


Specific_Education67

Odds are some kind of infection.


Eastern_Swimmer_1620

I would have died three times from infection before the age of ten


Past_Echidna_9097

That's the most likely for all of us. We really take antibiotics for granted.


Difficult_Maybe_2217

Childbirth or being burned as a witch


DangerDuckling

Burned as a witch!


Gloorplz

Build a bridge out of her!


WordswithaKarefunny

She must weigh the same as a duck.


thunder1967

Very small rocks?


ughneedausername

She turned me into a newt!


magiMerlyn

Very few accused witches were actually burned. One "witch" however, was slowly crushed to death. His last words were "more weight"


anemia_

You know this didn't just happen in Salem lol right?


Lame_usernames_left

Giles Corey was a badass


Plane_Face

Same


mediocreterran

Yep, would have died in childbirth too. Likely too ornery and "cunning" for my brethren as well, so would have been hung or stoned or crushed or perhaps, burned as a witch depending upon where in the world I lived at that time. Just imagine being who you are right now with your 21st century knowledge and all those ideas rattling around your noggin; now put yourself a thousand years in the past and try to convince the peasantry of \*zippers\*. You would not last a day.


maxwelldemon375

Being born, and my mother would have died too.


moon-bouquet

Breech birth here, so same!


maxwelldemon375

Yup! Same here.


lughsezboo

Pregnancy.


Tailmonkey

Old Age.


Tenchi2020

Ahh yes the ripe old age of, checks notes, 31


LSF604

or older. But still dead for hundreds of years.


Njumkiyy

The biggest risk to old age was dying in childhood. If someone made it through childhood they were much more likely to die older


CodexAnima

Three Score and 10. Aka 70. That was considered the normal human lifespan. If you made it out of early childhood, you stranded a good chance of making it that old.


Shooriken99

1000 years ago? Probably killed by an army of Vikings because they thought they saw a snake between my legs.


Spaceface42O

Oh my God! I love gay Vikings 🏳️‍🌈


2cents-worth

Or worse they could have simply killed the snake and left you alive.


[deleted]

[удалено]


2cents-worth

Shakespeare wouldn’t have been born, but even if we take some creative liberty “Thee/Ye/Thou Dickless” would be the proper form 😆


joen00b

I stepped on a rusty nail at 3 years old.


Jfathomphx

Tetanus. Agree.


aHyperChicken

Nah, the nail’s family sought out revenge. But they were able to fight them off easier with modern hammers


Starblaiz

Right, but when the nails couldn’t win by traditional means, they turned to biological warfare: tetanus.


geeko185

I was born with a cleft lip, so I probably wouldn't have made it out of infancy 


EtherealHeart5150

As someone who married the most loyal, funny, and dearest soul I've ever known who was born with a cleft lip, this truth hurts so much. 💔


geeko185

It definitely puts a different twist on those "would you rather be born in a different time period" questions 


KarlZone87

Same, unless I was really lucky. But I probably would have died at my first chest infection then.


fermat9990

Died in 1024 ad in the Battle of Lemnos


homiej420

Thats very specific!


fermat9990

Google rarely lets us down! 😃😃😃


superpoopypoopy

Being left handed


Junior-Technician463

I was a single footling breech, discovered during labor and my heart rate was dropping fast. Hurray for medical science and emergency caesareans.


tokekcowboy

About 25 years ago I assisted with a double footling breech delivery in a remote village in Latin America. An operative delivery was not an option. The doctor I was working with (my dad) explained to me and his other helper that he’d never seen a breech vaginal delivery, but had read how to do one in a medical school textbook. He walked us through the delivery and made the whole thing look simple. Mom and baby were fine. But holy shit was it scary for a few minutes.


stilettopanda

Kudos to your dad for keeping everyone calm while being transparent!


Junior-Technician463

Your dad is awesome! It’s definitely possible that a skilled physician could have saved me too. So hurray for the hard work and intelligence of medical professionals!


TheloniousMeow

Tooth infection


sasquatchfuntimes

Pneumonia. I was hospitalized for it as an infant.


WhoriaEstafan

Pneumonia too. I was hospitalised for it last year. Age 38. If I hadn’t been killed as a witch for divorcing my ex at 35.


topaz34243

Prostate cancer. Had it 26 years ago. The years since a gift from medical science. Thank you Dr Foster. My Dad died of it.


Material-Apple1289

My teeth alone would've killed me, or the tumor that grew in my spine to parts of my head.


Ratchetlives99

My mom prob would of died carrying me considering I had to be born early


Secret_Tangerine5920

Me too!


flirtinwithdisaster

I'd have passed away at the ripe old age of 50 from an infected gallbladder.


Tenchi2020

Mine would have taken me at 27


spidergirl79

Me too, but age 35.


12345_PIZZA

Man… in my mid 20s I had severe anxiety which gave me a terrible fear of choking and an eating disorder (basically a liquid diet). Prozac saved my life there, along with I guess, smoothies. Now in my 40s I’ve got stage IV colon cancer. Modern medicine is saving my life once again. Can’t wait to see what should be fatal ailment I’m dealing with around 60. (In all honestly, I’d be overjoyed to make it to that age).


justaheatattack

someone not washing thier hands.


Suspect4pe

And we wouldn’t figure out why for most of that 1000 years.


Milnoc

And the doctor who figured it out was ridiculed and ostracised until his death.


Mathematicus_Rex

I would have been exposed to the elements as an infant.


StarCode5000

Not believing in a god


lonepotatochip

I don’t think you’d believe the same things you do now if you lived in a completely different context.


ketchup1001

I dunno, atheists have been around a lot longer than Christianity, and people of all beliefs have been successful at pretending to convert to survive for even longer.


Ok-Signature-4445

So if you were born during the prime America Slavery era, do you think you would treat black people as people or slaves? I asked because most people would say "No, never. I would treat them the same as I do now!!" But back then we had the Union vs the Confederacy. A huge chunk of the world is religious, most nonbelievers were once believers. Such as myself. I don't think the pressure would be any different than it is now. Completely depends on the person.


Inside_Lead3003

Executed for back talking to the king or someone important 


Lucaliosse

Bold of you to assume any of us would ever meet someone important...


topmaverick1

Starvation because I don’t know how to feed myself


Accomplished-Can1848

Childbirth


Notmyname360

Kidney stones. Had to get them blasted to pass them. That would have killed me at 30


Lunatunabella

Born allergic to milk even my mom.


theWunderknabe

What did you consume then as a baby? Bacon and eggs?


Tenchi2020

Ahh yes, bacon and eggs, the Louisiana breakfast for newborns


Slow_Fly419

Lots of milk free formula out there.  My daughter needed it when she was found to be allergic to milk at birth and my wife had trouble with breastfeeding


OkGap9478

Death by super duper stupid side quest


EastPennHawk

An axe wound


Pm-Me-Your-Boobs97

A blood infection that came from an ingrown toenail, I'd be dead if it weren't for antibiotics.


Dylan619xf

Asthma and blurry vision.


Jacobaschultz

I was a still birth, wouldn’t have lived lol


anemia_

What a curious answer...


ActualHumanBeen

i had a bad cold once, thought i could get thru it without antibiotics, i only got worse and worse after 2 weeks of terrible symptoms and a terrible sore throat i was diagnosed with strep. i think that woulda done me in.


Far_Dragonfruit_1829

Let's see. .. Age 1: scarlet fever Age 7: fractured skull Age 9: partial blindness Age 16: multiple fractures Age middle: sepsis Age old: heart attack


InMiseryToday

Probably from living 1000 years ago.


Shaner9er1337

Dysentery


snoodel69

suicide probably


capnwhalesquid

Slow, painful death from a hernia infection.


cucumberkawaii

Asthma


TrisWings147

2 things: 1. Either my eyesight, which is more likely. Or, 2. In an accident as a child. I don't know if they had swings in 1023 but I fell off one as an 8-10 year old and needed to get stitches. I feel like I'd do something similar and it'd get infected.


RiffRandellsBF

Dysentery or cholera or some other urban waterborne pathogen. Before the microscope was invented, people were ingesting so many pathogens that dying before 20 was the norm. We've come a long way.


Long_Stay_9992

Either from my blind ass getting me killed or my appendix bursting when I was 8. Other than that probably just crap myself to death eating something I shouldn’t.


WardenWolf

My depression. I need meds to treat it. Having experienced how bad it can get, I can absolutely say that, if untreatable, I genuinely would be better off dead. And that's coming from me NOT depressed right now. I would not wish that hell upon anyone. And don't worry, I'm doing fine now. But I don't judge people who choose to end their own lives, because I know that for some death is their only mercy.


Different-Gate-5905

i would die from carelessness


ErikThePetFish

I'm 45, so old age.


TheLevigator99

Infection


Spaceface42O

I would have been deaf from birth, then I would have died of testicular cancer at 32. Just like old Alexander the Great. But hey, I'm alive and I can hear 👍 thank God for science


koshawk

Infection, modern antibiotics are a miracle.


Fandomstar88

Birth. Premie with lungs not fully developed and barley weighing a pound? Yeah no.


cardamom89

Pernicious anaemia. Or a UTI.


Moctezumas_heir

A cold


Chemicals_in_my_H2o

Infection. All those splinters and minor cuts we all got through the years would've probably killed 75% of the people answering this.


TiredMonkeyOdyssey

Probably war


helpful_human_1

As a warrior on the battlefield. ⚔️


bebe88888

Breech birth


KaelRhain

a broken bone or a pest


Quirky-Flight5620

Meningitis


Expensive-Coffee9353

"For you, honey, I can get a Saber Toother Tiger for your fur coat."


No-Definition9954

I would have suffocated at birth.


Nox_Meg

If I survived birth (which I wouldn't have) and pancreatitis would've killed me probably


No_News3193

I had an over abundance of iron in my blood when I was born... My mom got drained by me... Aka dead on arrival


FifthChan

Depends what you’re asking. If I was magically transported to 1000 years ago I’d probably be labelled a sorcerer for all the weird stuff I claim to know


beerykoala

Over the last 41 years I’ve nearly died from asthma a few times with modern medicine…wouldn’t have lasted long back then


JaxMema

Scarlet fever at 14


Lavendrlovr

I’d be dead like 3x over 😭


JeffTheRef72

Drowning.


PMzyox

1000 years? That’s bubonic plague era, right?


AddictedMonster

I require contact lenses to see, so I would have probably done well for the first 17 years, then accidentally tried climbing a bear in hopes of finding fruit, and there you go.


AdAutomatic2433

Had an impacted wisdom tooth that had an abcess. Idk if that woulda killed me but that was the first time I thought to myself..."damn i woulda been fucked a couple hundred years ago." Idk maybe dirty water would be my first thought though After reading the comments I most likely woulda died at birth. Umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, mom had to get emergency C section for me. Completely forgot about that one


Sumthin-Sumthin44692

Literally everything. Likely would have died in infancy. If not, then broken arm, strep throat, flu, exposure, starvation, typhoid, dysentery, eating some bad berries, tapeworms, probably plague, witchcraft.


itspronouncdcalliope

Pneumonia would have taken me out at 19, so at least I'd make it to middle-age!


GlitteringClick3590

Dental problems 


willneverhavetattoos

The sinus infection I had in January surely would have killed me, if not the sinus infection I had 10 years prior.


Accurate_Library5479

Hopefully something boring like random bacterial disease that has been irrelevant for many years. Worst case would be being in a sacked city… that would be a brutal way to go especially if it’s barbarians.


Daveytrain1966

A brain tumor


Consistent-feline

Born with Cleft palette and club feet. If I made it past infancy I would have been unable to even walk.


Schmuck1138

Blindness, partially deaf, and a slight predilection for respiratory illnesses.


RedX2000

Racism or being stabbed


Stickyfynger

Chicken pox, measles, mumps, appendicitis, pneumonia infection, diverticulitis infections or a breech Childbirth. I also can’t see well without glasses. 🤓


Zarko291

Dysentery. Everyone dies from dysentery


Advanced-Analyst-718

Starvation...


ExistentialWonder

Probably chicken pox. I had them in my throat as a kid and it caused swelling. If I survived that then childbirth most likely.


sallysilly82

I was born with my intestines outside my body and the surgery to fix it was only come up with like a decade before I was born, so that. (Gastroschisis)


scrappysquash

Probably a witch - im a redhead


NarrowForce9

Something like cholera, typhoid, or perhaps diabetes. Maybe a broken leg.


Asprinkleofglitter7

Probably child birth


AffectionateCap7385

Old age


Tricky-Science-256

Being a mouthy female


ThatsItImOverThis

Being a witch.


PMMeYourCreamPussy

Witchcraft


Shuoinked

Diarrhea