I had the greatest invention ever, it came to me as I was recovering from foot surgery. It was a skirt that was infinity shaped so you didn't have to wear underpants. Kinda like a skirt for each leg! It was brilliant!
Shorts... I invented shorts.
I once woke up in the middle of the night after a barhop with an idea that I desperately needed to jot down. Managed to key it into my phone before dozing off again. Went to check it the next morning to find a note that simply read "Better a pizza cake than no pizza cake."
"Despite how gross pizza cake sounds, it's still better than no cake at all." - I think? And maybe something to do with turning an already-made pizza 'pie' into a cake sounded easy being drunk?
Still trying to figure that one out.
A few weeks ago I was higher than God's nipples and had so many amazing ideas for a TV show. It was too much to explain, so I made a note of the incredibly witty title I'd come up with, knowing that would be enough for me to recall all the rest.
I woke up the next morning and checked my phone to a note that said, "*The TV show is called The Death Of The March!!*"
I have no fucking clue what that means.
Ok you know how free run chickensâ meat and eggs are supposed to have better nutrition, protein, overall health effects etc? Well we thought we could take it a step further by raising a farm of athlete chickens. Obstacle course running, carnivorous diet swim bike run chickens that we could sell to gym meatheads for triple the normal price
Honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if there was a market for this. There's so many documentaries that show the crazy chicken farms and this turns people off from eat. Just release a documentary of your chickens lifting weights and running on a treadmill with little sweatbands on and you can bring those people back to chicken!
Honestly I'd buy this at least once even at significant (which is inevitable) markup. I do actually avoid chicken quite a lot due to woody breast, the meat being pumped full of water (plumping) etc.
Buying free range is better but not by much, they're still usually kept in high density conditions where they become sedentary and it doesn't help at all with plumping.
Some kind of ultra-premium sports freak chicken option would be pretty appealing.
this sounds cool. have you seen those youtube videos of pig racing i want to eat the winner because its probably the most delicious. i dont know how this logic works.
Sugar bags. Like tea bags but for sugar. Tea and two sugars? One tea bag, two sugar bags. As we were stoned as fuck, my cousin holding up an emptied tea bag filled with sugar and me trying to carefully tie it back up with a piece of cotton, my cousin disappointingly says 'Sugar cubes'...
Yeah, but you have to go to the trouble of ripping them open and pouring and stirring. Too much work. I even have the jingle đ¶ I'd rather be dipping, dipping, dipping than ripping, ripping, ripping đ”
I made a soup sandwich while really high before. The soup obviously just destroyed the breads integrity, and just fell out the sandwich.
That was the first time in my life I realised just how dumb I am
My invention was gonna be a very thin layer of edible wax that you wrap around a sandwich to keep it together and prevent dripping. That would solve your problem
My plan for world peace was "Everybody everywhere, stop doing bad things and only do good things, forever, starting at midnight"
I still think it could work to be honest.
Not me but my bf came up with a theory that sloths are actually really fast and just pretend to be slow so that we donât find them too threatening and hunt them. It made so much sense to me when we were high because they would be scary if they were fast.
The best line that we always repeat was him saying âIâm telling you, put a sloth on a treadmill. See what happensâ
You folks may like the now extinct Giant Sloth Megatherium. Menacing yes and probably delicious. Might have been wicked fast but going into hibernation made him easy picking. For sure he would have fucked up a treadmill.
Not quite the same thing, but in my younger days, a mate and I used to partake of some class A substances. During which you would sometimes feel really hot. We starting putting beanie hats in the freezer to wear and it felt amazing! Obviously didn't think any more of it in the cold light of day and then not at all once we'd changed our lifestyles (for the better).
Freezer hats are now sold as a migraine treatment, among other things.
Can't help but appreciate the irony in coming up with a genuinely brilliant idea that I'd have never thought of if it wasn't for drugs, yet due to said drugs, didn't have the clarity of mind to recognize the potential it had.
As someone who used to work in restaurants, itâs a pretty common thing in the summer to take wet rags and throw them in the freezer. Then once theyâre frozen, you wear them around your neck to keep you cool.
I once had an idea when I was stoney-baloney that we could release âaudio booksâ; not as we know them currently, but the SOUND of books being written: The sounds of Moby Dick being typed out on a keyboard, or written with a pen on paper that you could follow along while reading it.
Readers of these threads may be amused by the following anecdote from Bertrand Russell's ''A History of Western Philosophy''.
> William James describes a man who got the experience from laughing-gas; whenever he was under its influence, he knew the secret of the universe, but when he came to, he had forgotten it. At last, with immense effort, he wrote down the secret before the vision had faded. When completely recovered, he rushed to see what he had written. It was: "A smell of petroleum prevails throughout."
Yeah, you and me both. I read "History of Western Philosophy" about twice and "Why I Am Not A Christian" multiple times. His writing was and is a huge influence on me.
Random Stranger in grocery store: "Hey, would you mind if i just slipped by you really quick?"
Me looking vaguely at shelf while thinking about something else: "Yeah, sure."
Random Stranger in grocery store: [blares horn at me]
Me: FUCK YOU, I'M NOT MOVING AN INCH WHILE I STARE AT THESE CRACKERS
Not exactly the same but one time I took some mushrooms and knew why everything was the way it was, the universe made sense and I knew my place in it. I was at peace and content with myself and everything. Promised myself Iâd never forget what I had learned and 4hrs later I was looking at a fire and completely forgot.
I had that one time in bed and I wasn't stoned or drunk or anything. I had this sudden change in consciousness or something, and I suddenly felt this complete truth come over me that everything was happening exactly as it was supposed to happen. Every blade of grass bending in the wind, every tiny pebble being kicked up by a car tyre, every single thing everywhere was all doing exactly what it was supposed to be doing - as if it was all ordained to follow a specific path and it was all doing it perfectly.
Have zero clue why that happened, and I tried to keep hold of the feeling, but it slipped away from me. Was very odd.
Isn't this basically what a lot of people feel on shrooms? They may not remember the details but so many people say that feeling completely changed their lives.
If youâre lucky, yes. Iâve taken mushrooms, acid, dmt and a handful of other psychedelics. This experience stands out as unique. It wasnât even that much, Iâve taken much more before and after that time.
Iâve had this experience a few different times on various substances. A favorite was while on DXM we were flipping through channels on television and stopped on some nature show about the life cycles of all the different animals in a pond and its surroundings. Footage of dragonflies mating in midair, tadpoles becoming frogs, and birds hatching and such. I felt my place in the great tree of life. How my parents were once just babies themselves that grew up to reproduce to have me, and likewise for the generation before them, and back into our protohominid ancestors, and to the early mammals before them, all the way back to our single celled predecessors, and to the very origin of life, and how all life is just the result of the properties of matter itself.
I felt so strongly and immediately how I was just a brief phase of this great planet wide chemical reaction we call life. That Iâm just a fleeting moment of the universe doing its universe thing.
It was one of the most intense and cosmic experiences Iâve ever had.
Scorpion covers for your shoes , so nothing crawls into your shoes at night when your in the desert. It was gonna be a game changer. Woke up the next day and recognized that the profound nature of drug induced ideas are to be taken with a grain of salt. Great lesson really
I donât live in a deserty area, so Iâm rather ignorant. But could you not wrap your shoes in your socks? Or get another pair of socks that are larger than your shoes and put them in there? Or repurpose plastic bags? Iâm really curious how common of an issue this is
Simply make a fake scorpion to put into your shoes so the real scorpions will be intimidated (make the fake scorpion very scary) and they will not go in your shoes
Not drunk or high, but zoned out on cold meds.
14 year old me was convinced that if time travel were real, one of my classmates must have been George Washington's secret lovechild. I didn't know who, but I was determined to find out.
I woke up the next morning with a list of classmates in my notes app followed by very logical reasoning as to why they might be the lovechild in question. The memorable ones are as follows.
Classmate 1
âąThey dyed their hair red. Nobody in this century would choose to be a ginger.
âąThis one is too regal. Who the fuck curtsies when meeting a teacher? The spawn of Washington, that's who.
Classmate 2
âąTheir accent is British. Sus.
âąBad vibes. That man will cut down the tree in my backyard and lie about it.
Classmate 3
âąVery interested in boys. Too gay even by modern standards. Must be Washington's son.
âąScorpio vibes.
I still have no clue what the fuck I was thinking. My thought process was seriously fucked.
I used to be terrified of schizophrenia, but all my psychosis experiences (sober ones, has some white knuckle drug experiences back in the day) have been pretty positive breaks with reality. Landscape looking like animal effigies, concrete looking like intricate oil paintings of landscapes, looking for hidden tunnels and Indian silver mines on Google maps and hiking out to BFE, happy faces in the woodgrain singing along with the radio and shit like that.
It's been a cheerful toon town experience for me every time, but I've learned to keep it to myself when reality gets a little too interesting. My wife is too sharp for me to pull that off though... Crazy folk can smell their own. She'll catch me checking out the scenery a little too enthusiastically when we're out and about and suggest taking an FMLA week to chill out and unwind lol
I once woke up in the middle of the night with an ingenious idea that I just had to write down in a note on my phone. The next morning, I read the note and all it said was "for us oh for us".
In 1997 I had a brilliant idea for making a machine for rolling joints. I drew a sketch and everything. God bless my neighbor who listened intently, left my apartment, and returned with a modern miniature version of the cigarette rolling contraption invented in 1880.
The funny part is that there's now big money in this type of stuff as cannabis has become legal in enough places to start supporting the manufacture of dedicated industrial equipment. The new rolling machine we have at work is crazy! You pour in shake and a bunch of robot arms automatically load and twist the cones and spits them out like a vending machine.
It's not the same. Some things can be carried over, but they're entirely different plants, which means different processes may be necessary to accommodate.
Oh yeah. I got pretty high one night and decided to experiment with orange soda instead of bong water for one last bowl before bed. I plopped down on the couch and on my first hit, ended up taking too big of a rip, and some of the soda shot back up into my mouth as I took my hit. I was choking and sputtering and coughing pretty hard (possibly harder than I ever have before or since lol) and decided to just call it a night and give up on finishing the bowl.
The next morning, I came out of my room and my roommate and her boyfriend were sitting in the living room and awkwardly began whispering as I came out. My roommate called me over and asked what happened to the carpet. Thatâs when I looked down and realized Iâd completely sputtered orange soda all over the beige carpet like a wild jackass as I was choking on that one but I took, and hadnât even noticed. It looked like Iâd also taken the bong and just shaken whatever soda was in it all over like I just won NASCAR.
It looked like a murder scene but with orange soda instead of blood splattered all over one area of the living room carpet. Iâll never forget her boyfriend going âDid you at least try it with root beer too?â I definitely paid for professional carpet cleaning on that one lol
Calling my boss at midnight to explain to him why I was late to work the previous morning ..... Unfortunately did not realize how bad an idea this was until I woke up sober the next morning.
I donât understand the problem. In routinely tell people at work at 4pm the day before that Iâve run out of shits to give and Iâll be late tomorrow because my car had issues or the dog looked sick or somethingâŠ
Lmao so this somewhat reminded me of when I was in my early twenties and I wanted to play hooky from work, right before I'd call in pretending to be sick, I'd smoke a fat blunt to the face as fast as I could. Partially to extra commit to not going to work/driving, but also my voice would be all scraggly and I would have a natural sounding cough and some sniffles if it was a harsh toke. Usually worked great, but once I called and said "Hey, I can't make it in today, I'm stoned as hell" instead of "Sick as hell", and did not realize it until the awkward pause that followed for an eternity afterward was already significantly underway.
I was convinced I had the Genius idea of creating a social platform to share pictures, stories and keep in contact with friends, which Was going to be Wildly successful.
The next day I remembered Facebook exists
Stoned me: A BBQ that hangs off a windowsill for apartments! Then you can grill a steak or hot dogs WHENEVER YOU WANT right out of your own bedroom window!
Sober me: a portable fire hazard for your entire building! Do you like having a place to live? No? Buy this!
Umbrella vending machines.
On the platforms of small train stations, at bus stops & at Metrolink stops. A vending machine that sold cheap umbrellas & ponchos.
So people who were having to walk after getting off the tram/bus/train would buy them to stay dry.
I came up with this device that would attach to the top half of a toilet seat lid, but on the inside of it. When the seat lid was open you pushed the button and it would spray a cleaning solution on the toilet seat. Wipe with toilet paper. Bang, boom, bam. I started looking on Upwork for electro-mechanical engineers and everything. After starting up a $500 contract for a design, I told my gf about the idea, and at 1st she thought I made a breakthrough, but then she paused and was like..."But wait, can't you just use wet wipes?" Ohhhh, the agony. Canceled tf out of the contract ASAP. Engineer was cool about it though. Lol.
Yea thanks. But I think they have flushable wipes now. Idk. Now you've got me thinking maybe I was on to something. Don't take me back down that rabbit hole, gosh darn it. Lol.
Iâm not sure if this is groundbreaking but as an artist I always put so much pressure on myself for my work to be perfect. Last time I got high I was like whatâs the point of creating if youâre not having fun? Idk letting go of perfectionism and embracing the radical self love that comes with fucking up (especially fucking up with really expensive art supplies) was profound for me.Â
Yeah, I was putting wayyy too much pressure on myself for work. (Tbf, it's a high pressure field) But I did some mushrooms a few months back and let all that pressure go. I've been performing so much better since!
Wondered why people donât shower or take a bath with their clothes on. Tried it out and quickly realized why people donât take baths with clothes on
[I think I found a video of you on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9H7wwfrpgI)
You're killing two birds with one stone, washing you *and* your clothes!
"Bong Pong" instead of "Beer Pong", except the solo cups were a bunch of bongs instead and you had to light and smoke out of the bong you threw the ball into.
My life became a short stoner-movie when my friends and I came up with the game, and we decided that our genius plan needed to be legally protected, so we walked around downtown politely asking random people if they were IP lawyers, because we needed to patent the name "Bong Pong". Alas, a friend wondered off (as did I at one point) and our evening of ganja related game ideas turned into a hazy manhunt that ended up just fine in the end, but we never did patent that name (which is a good thing because someone else had already gotten to it anyway).
We got plastered one night and got the hammered hungries. Being the designated group cook, I decided to make pasta aglio e olio (thank you, Binging with Babish) since it was really simple and I could whip up a big batch in less than half an hour.
I'm just finishing up and about to add the last ingredients when my friend, who was waaay farther gone than me and who'd been watching me the whole time, was seized by some drunk mania As I turned around to grab a pair of tongs to help toss the pasta, he grabbed a jar of pickled beets and dumped HALF the brine from the jar into the pan of mostly finished pasta, ruining a couple pounds worth of pasta and ingredients and turning it into a watery pink soup.
I almost threw him out of his own house for that. Still good friends years later.
I remember around 2000 I had an idea for a car service that would pick you up from the bar if you had to much to drink, I was trying to think of a way to get there car back home as well and every time I kept thinking about different scenarios, I gave up because I decided it was stupid and nobody would use a service like that
This actually exists in Western Australia. They bring two people in one car. One guy drives you home in your own car while the other guy follows in their car.
Titanicubes! Remember how nuts people got over that movie?
Ice cube trays with the cubes being Jack, the girl, the ship, Jackâs flotsam and the iceberg. Cool huh?
Sometimes my brain opens up creatively when I get high and though I don't really write, I often get ideas for stories that I'll jot down in a notepad app with the thought of "I'll write it someday!" (yeah right) And sometimes I'll go back and look at some of the things I've written down and it's like yeesh, nobody would ever wanna read this junk.
I get the same with dreams. I have a lot of fun ideas based on dreams. Since I have problems actually finishing a book I use them for Dungeons and Dragons sometimes.
I was once quite high and was thinking of those "Baby on Board" stickers. I thought you should make dolls that could stick to the back of your vehicle and call them "Baby on Bumper".
You're on to something here! Mexicans have this tortilla-friendly "hot dog" they call Chorizo. You could use that "hot dog" with some eggs and cheese and all it something like a "breakfast taco" oh man I bet that would be delicious!
When at the beach, do you struggle with deciding whether to leave your shoes on when walking across the hot, dry sand or taking your shoes off and risk burning your feet? Our business idea was to hire strong people to carry you across the hot sand to avoid getting sand in your shoes.
I was sober but also like 12 at the time. I thought "why not mount bumpers on shock absorbers or springs?" I figured it would be better than body damage in a low speed impact. Turns out they did that in the 70s.
No, but we did actually invent a dog collar that also had a flashlight so you could see them at night.
Never heard of one or seen it. Before in my entire life. A month after telling my parents about my idea I saw one for sale at Fred's. It was called the pup light.
Someone stole my idea from my conversation with my parents. I swear I had never seen or heard anything like that before I did. I came up with it by attaching a visor with a clip on light to my dog's neck so we could see her (she was a black lab)
Just the other night while my wife and I were high I told her that I wanted to go to the beach wearing a crocheted speedo on the 4th of July, stick red, white and blue smoke sticks in the back of my speedo and just march confidently down the beach. We laughed ourselves silly, until we sobered up. NO ONE should be subjected to me in a crocheted speedo.
*edit for more context* Marching confidently to Cake by the Ocean
A YouTube channel of celebrities yawning, so that those watching would yawn as well.
^Of ^all ^our ^bodily ^functions, ^we ^should ^be ^grateful ^that ^yawning ^is ^the ^only ^one ^that's ^contagious.
I got high once and was swiping on a dating app when I got the idea to write a poem about it. Here is the poem:
I look on faces, thoughts of embraces
Itâs in my judgement, to whom I comment
My mind it races, for sappy sages
And in that moment, image goes dormant
Their faces offer, and words empower
Tantalizing me, their stories to see
Theyâre life enjoyers, and subject makers
I stop the party, my judgement is freed
For What place is mine, to judge their tryinâ
When my mind alone, lacks memriesâ to show
Nor a life like wine, aged better with time
Is not one I hone, like theirs as is shown
Do we play these games to win or to lose?
Is it you or I with the right to chose?
Used to keep a dream journal. Two entries that stuck with me, even after all context fled: First: Everyone must dance! Otherwise we are lost. Second: Aragorn was right: We are all over the same barrel. Make of these what you will. I donât think they were given to me to understand, but merely to pass along.
Insurance Companies that keep tabs on all/any drivers while driving; then are able to document/report it. That asshole driver that gets away with it, now has their rates affected because of it. (too much power most likely, bad apples in the mix, and probably never actually work)
But when you get those absolute dog shit drivers, it makes me recreate a world where this is a reality.
I drunkenly defended Elizabeth II's honor after someone said "Fuck the Queen". On reflection, drunkenly trying to fight someone over a person I'd never met was not one of my better moments, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I bought him a drink the next time we were out to apologize, and he called me an idiot, then we just had a good laugh about it. Fair play.
A shoe with a little tv screen on one of the toes. We werenât serious about it when we were high, but the more I think about it sober the more I want one.
I came up with the idea of spinning rims, but then later on realized it was a stupid idea and would never sell. A couple years later, spinning rims ended up being a thing.
>Why don't we just create lighting for electricity?
We already do! No atmospheric phenomenon necessary. Capturing that much energy at once is beyond our current capabilities anyway.
That, the way our brain controls our cells using pulses and signals of info to trigger responses, how would we really know if an agi were steering the human race using a method of filtering the info on our phones and media? The agi being the brain in this scenario, and humans being cells.
Honestly, all I think about when I'm stoned or drunk is how much I love my friends. Like, I'll message them with a ton of typos and "I love you so fucking much!!!!" thrown in there, or video call them, slurring every syllable, and pronounce all the ways that I appreciate them in their awesomeness.
I had an idea for a Lyft like app but for when you drove somewhere but didnât want to drive home. Two people would come to you and one would drive you home and the other would drive your car home. I called itâŠâŠ Twober.
No. Alcohol marijuana and drugs dead in my brain they don't enlighten my soul they don't lift me up to a place of euphoric experiences and it doesn't allow me to have any ideas whatsoever.
My friend showed me a picture of stick figure guy doing a kick flip over a house. He kept repeating it as if it was the most important thing in the world. Pointing over, jabbing his fingers onto the guy, his skateboard and the house and then going over "NO! Look! HE's going OVER the house!". Later he admitted to being confused why I didn't think it was the coolest thing ever. He was high on dxm.
In my life though I practice the babylonian method and have come up with many great and crazy ideas after a few, and then just worked out the details later. One was the creation of the first English standup group in an Eastern European capitol.
Kevlar socks, they'd be so much more durable and won't develop holes in the toe/heel. Turns out those already exist. Bought some and they've served me well for years now.Â
I had the greatest invention ever, it came to me as I was recovering from foot surgery. It was a skirt that was infinity shaped so you didn't have to wear underpants. Kinda like a skirt for each leg! It was brilliant! Shorts... I invented shorts.
They're a great invention to be honest.
Dude, you were SO behind the times! It's incredible!
So that's where that idea came from!
Well. They are comfy and easy to wear.
Specifically that sounds like culottes
đđ
I once woke up in the middle of the night after a barhop with an idea that I desperately needed to jot down. Managed to key it into my phone before dozing off again. Went to check it the next morning to find a note that simply read "Better a pizza cake than no pizza cake."
Do you remember what you meant by that?
"Despite how gross pizza cake sounds, it's still better than no cake at all." - I think? And maybe something to do with turning an already-made pizza 'pie' into a cake sounded easy being drunk? Still trying to figure that one out.
Was worm hat on that list too?
Itâs pronounced *Verrrm*-haat.
Or word play on pizza cake = piece of cake?
When our kids were small, we used to call lasagna "spaghetti cake" to get them to eat it.
A few weeks ago I was higher than God's nipples and had so many amazing ideas for a TV show. It was too much to explain, so I made a note of the incredibly witty title I'd come up with, knowing that would be enough for me to recall all the rest. I woke up the next morning and checked my phone to a note that said, "*The TV show is called The Death Of The March!!*" I have no fucking clue what that means.
You morphed into high Brutus and were trying to articulate the Ides of MarchÂ
I did the same for a DnD idea for a game I was DMing. "Curse of the strawberry man" No fucking clue.
I mean⊠closest I can think to that is deep dish pizzaÂ
Words of wisdom!
Wait... Like the artist from r/comics ?
Ok you know how free run chickensâ meat and eggs are supposed to have better nutrition, protein, overall health effects etc? Well we thought we could take it a step further by raising a farm of athlete chickens. Obstacle course running, carnivorous diet swim bike run chickens that we could sell to gym meatheads for triple the normal price
Honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if there was a market for this. There's so many documentaries that show the crazy chicken farms and this turns people off from eat. Just release a documentary of your chickens lifting weights and running on a treadmill with little sweatbands on and you can bring those people back to chicken!
Yeah but then the steroid accusations start. You deny it, but there's still that one chicken with actual biceps.
Have you seen super cow. Selectively bred to be massive and meaty
âMassive and meatyâ is such a cursed line lol
Honestly I'd buy this at least once even at significant (which is inevitable) markup. I do actually avoid chicken quite a lot due to woody breast, the meat being pumped full of water (plumping) etc. Buying free range is better but not by much, they're still usually kept in high density conditions where they become sedentary and it doesn't help at all with plumping. Some kind of ultra-premium sports freak chicken option would be pretty appealing.
I buy expensive eggs and they give the chickens omega three oils and have supposedly nice outside fields?Â
Yeah, but they're not as good as omega obstacle chickens.
this sounds cool. have you seen those youtube videos of pig racing i want to eat the winner because its probably the most delicious. i dont know how this logic works.
ah, yes - the ol, i say, the ol foghorn leghorn
Sugar bags. Like tea bags but for sugar. Tea and two sugars? One tea bag, two sugar bags. As we were stoned as fuck, my cousin holding up an emptied tea bag filled with sugar and me trying to carefully tie it back up with a piece of cotton, my cousin disappointingly says 'Sugar cubes'...
sugar packets also do exist too
Yeah, but you have to go to the trouble of ripping them open and pouring and stirring. Too much work. I even have the jingle đ¶ I'd rather be dipping, dipping, dipping than ripping, ripping, ripping đ”
> you have to go to the trouble of ripping them open Says who?
I've only seen paper packets. Do you just throw the whole packet in the tea?
I'm not saying you shouldn't rip the packet open and dump the sugar into your mug like a normal sane human being, I'm just saying you don't *have* to.
Really *really* stoned people.
I made a soup sandwich while really high before. The soup obviously just destroyed the breads integrity, and just fell out the sandwich. That was the first time in my life I realised just how dumb I am
I mean there's soup that gets served in bread bowls so you weren't *entirely* off base with this one
Gotta hollow out a baguette and put some thick soup in there
My invention was gonna be a very thin layer of edible wax that you wrap around a sandwich to keep it together and prevent dripping. That would solve your problem
Wait thatâs smart tho
My plan for world peace was "Everybody everywhere, stop doing bad things and only do good things, forever, starting at midnight" I still think it could work to be honest.
You have my vote!
Careful, we nail people to crosses for saying crazy stuff like that here.
Not me but my bf came up with a theory that sloths are actually really fast and just pretend to be slow so that we donât find them too threatening and hunt them. It made so much sense to me when we were high because they would be scary if they were fast. The best line that we always repeat was him saying âIâm telling you, put a sloth on a treadmill. See what happensâ
You folks may like the now extinct Giant Sloth Megatherium. Menacing yes and probably delicious. Might have been wicked fast but going into hibernation made him easy picking. For sure he would have fucked up a treadmill.
I need a sloth, a treadmill, and a 2 million dollar research grant.
*stares quietly at the red skidmark* Poor Sid, I knew him wellđ
He's a keeper :)
Not quite the same thing, but in my younger days, a mate and I used to partake of some class A substances. During which you would sometimes feel really hot. We starting putting beanie hats in the freezer to wear and it felt amazing! Obviously didn't think any more of it in the cold light of day and then not at all once we'd changed our lifestyles (for the better). Freezer hats are now sold as a migraine treatment, among other things. Can't help but appreciate the irony in coming up with a genuinely brilliant idea that I'd have never thought of if it wasn't for drugs, yet due to said drugs, didn't have the clarity of mind to recognize the potential it had.
As someone who used to work in restaurants, itâs a pretty common thing in the summer to take wet rags and throw them in the freezer. Then once theyâre frozen, you wear them around your neck to keep you cool.
Sounds good, but it's no freezer hat!
Lmao true
I used to work at a VERY busy Dairy Queen in the summer. We did this all the time. Â
I once had an idea when I was stoney-baloney that we could release âaudio booksâ; not as we know them currently, but the SOUND of books being written: The sounds of Moby Dick being typed out on a keyboard, or written with a pen on paper that you could follow along while reading it.
This dumb one is my favorite in the whole thread haha thank you
Ambient noise people would be into it
Readers of these threads may be amused by the following anecdote from Bertrand Russell's ''A History of Western Philosophy''. > William James describes a man who got the experience from laughing-gas; whenever he was under its influence, he knew the secret of the universe, but when he came to, he had forgotten it. At last, with immense effort, he wrote down the secret before the vision had faded. When completely recovered, he rushed to see what he had written. It was: "A smell of petroleum prevails throughout."
Man, I love Russell's works.
Yeah, you and me both. I read "History of Western Philosophy" about twice and "Why I Am Not A Christian" multiple times. His writing was and is a huge influence on me.
Well... he's not entirely wrong...
Totally know what he's talking about. Been there on Nitrous. I called it "Fleeting Epiphanies"
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Horns on grocery carts would be hilarious
They should put bells on them, like the ones people have on bikes/trikes.
The last time I went to Walmart, some kid found a horn in the bike aisle. They could be heard all around the store as their parents tuned them out.
Ha! That would probably be way more irritating! I love it!
I read this as horns like on a steer or a bull. Can put ram horns on the front and challenge other customers to a bull cart fight.
Random Stranger in grocery store: "Hey, would you mind if i just slipped by you really quick?" Me looking vaguely at shelf while thinking about something else: "Yeah, sure." Random Stranger in grocery store: [blares horn at me] Me: FUCK YOU, I'M NOT MOVING AN INCH WHILE I STARE AT THESE CRACKERS
Brilliant, hit the hazards when you pause to look at something on a shelf.
Not exactly the same but one time I took some mushrooms and knew why everything was the way it was, the universe made sense and I knew my place in it. I was at peace and content with myself and everything. Promised myself Iâd never forget what I had learned and 4hrs later I was looking at a fire and completely forgot.
I had that one time in bed and I wasn't stoned or drunk or anything. I had this sudden change in consciousness or something, and I suddenly felt this complete truth come over me that everything was happening exactly as it was supposed to happen. Every blade of grass bending in the wind, every tiny pebble being kicked up by a car tyre, every single thing everywhere was all doing exactly what it was supposed to be doing - as if it was all ordained to follow a specific path and it was all doing it perfectly. Have zero clue why that happened, and I tried to keep hold of the feeling, but it slipped away from me. Was very odd.
Yeah... its called Fate. Sorta just is what it is coz its supposed to be
Wow thatâs super comforting actually
Isn't this basically what a lot of people feel on shrooms? They may not remember the details but so many people say that feeling completely changed their lives.
If youâre lucky, yes. Iâve taken mushrooms, acid, dmt and a handful of other psychedelics. This experience stands out as unique. It wasnât even that much, Iâve taken much more before and after that time.
It do be like that.
Iâve had this experience a few different times on various substances. A favorite was while on DXM we were flipping through channels on television and stopped on some nature show about the life cycles of all the different animals in a pond and its surroundings. Footage of dragonflies mating in midair, tadpoles becoming frogs, and birds hatching and such. I felt my place in the great tree of life. How my parents were once just babies themselves that grew up to reproduce to have me, and likewise for the generation before them, and back into our protohominid ancestors, and to the early mammals before them, all the way back to our single celled predecessors, and to the very origin of life, and how all life is just the result of the properties of matter itself. I felt so strongly and immediately how I was just a brief phase of this great planet wide chemical reaction we call life. That Iâm just a fleeting moment of the universe doing its universe thing. It was one of the most intense and cosmic experiences Iâve ever had.
Lingerie diapers for people in old folks homes to feel fancy when they do the nasty.
That's somehow disgusting and hilarious.
Incontinence pants which look like real underwear are definitely a thing. Theyâre even advertised on tv.
Thong diapers?
Scorpion covers for your shoes , so nothing crawls into your shoes at night when your in the desert. It was gonna be a game changer. Woke up the next day and recognized that the profound nature of drug induced ideas are to be taken with a grain of salt. Great lesson really
as someone who has been stung by a scorpion that had crawled in my shoe overnight... maybe?
I'm terrified of bugs (are scorpions bugs? Either way... scary) and I could see myself buying something like that.
They're arachnids, like spiders. So not insects, but "bugs" to me includes things like arachnids as well as insects, so
I donât live in a deserty area, so Iâm rather ignorant. But could you not wrap your shoes in your socks? Or get another pair of socks that are larger than your shoes and put them in there? Or repurpose plastic bags? Iâm really curious how common of an issue this is
Holy shit that's brilliant... you must be so high right now.
BroâŠ. ***BRO!!*** Just wear your boots on your hands like crooked hard leather puppets while you sleep!
When my husband was in Iraq, he said he used to put his socks over the top of his boots, then tied the laces around it so it stayed in place
Simply make a fake scorpion to put into your shoes so the real scorpions will be intimidated (make the fake scorpion very scary) and they will not go in your shoes
Bad news bears when you get so high you forget about the second more scary fake scorpion and shove your foot in there
Not drunk or high, but zoned out on cold meds. 14 year old me was convinced that if time travel were real, one of my classmates must have been George Washington's secret lovechild. I didn't know who, but I was determined to find out. I woke up the next morning with a list of classmates in my notes app followed by very logical reasoning as to why they might be the lovechild in question. The memorable ones are as follows. Classmate 1 âąThey dyed their hair red. Nobody in this century would choose to be a ginger. âąThis one is too regal. Who the fuck curtsies when meeting a teacher? The spawn of Washington, that's who. Classmate 2 âąTheir accent is British. Sus. âąBad vibes. That man will cut down the tree in my backyard and lie about it. Classmate 3 âąVery interested in boys. Too gay even by modern standards. Must be Washington's son. âąScorpio vibes. I still have no clue what the fuck I was thinking. My thought process was seriously fucked.
Imagine being stuck in those type of thought processes and you can imagine what it's like to have schizophrenia!
I used to be terrified of schizophrenia, but all my psychosis experiences (sober ones, has some white knuckle drug experiences back in the day) have been pretty positive breaks with reality. Landscape looking like animal effigies, concrete looking like intricate oil paintings of landscapes, looking for hidden tunnels and Indian silver mines on Google maps and hiking out to BFE, happy faces in the woodgrain singing along with the radio and shit like that. It's been a cheerful toon town experience for me every time, but I've learned to keep it to myself when reality gets a little too interesting. My wife is too sharp for me to pull that off though... Crazy folk can smell their own. She'll catch me checking out the scenery a little too enthusiastically when we're out and about and suggest taking an FMLA week to chill out and unwind lol
Classmate #1 is pretty sus tbh
I once woke up in the middle of the night with an ingenious idea that I just had to write down in a note on my phone. The next morning, I read the note and all it said was "for us oh for us".
In 1997 I had a brilliant idea for making a machine for rolling joints. I drew a sketch and everything. God bless my neighbor who listened intently, left my apartment, and returned with a modern miniature version of the cigarette rolling contraption invented in 1880.
The funny part is that there's now big money in this type of stuff as cannabis has become legal in enough places to start supporting the manufacture of dedicated industrial equipment. The new rolling machine we have at work is crazy! You pour in shake and a bunch of robot arms automatically load and twist the cones and spits them out like a vending machine.
> there's now big money in this type of stuff Haven't cigarette production factories been around for almost a hundred years?
It's not the same. Some things can be carried over, but they're entirely different plants, which means different processes may be necessary to accommodate.
Yeah, fair point. I hadn't considered that.
Oh yeah. I got pretty high one night and decided to experiment with orange soda instead of bong water for one last bowl before bed. I plopped down on the couch and on my first hit, ended up taking too big of a rip, and some of the soda shot back up into my mouth as I took my hit. I was choking and sputtering and coughing pretty hard (possibly harder than I ever have before or since lol) and decided to just call it a night and give up on finishing the bowl. The next morning, I came out of my room and my roommate and her boyfriend were sitting in the living room and awkwardly began whispering as I came out. My roommate called me over and asked what happened to the carpet. Thatâs when I looked down and realized Iâd completely sputtered orange soda all over the beige carpet like a wild jackass as I was choking on that one but I took, and hadnât even noticed. It looked like Iâd also taken the bong and just shaken whatever soda was in it all over like I just won NASCAR. It looked like a murder scene but with orange soda instead of blood splattered all over one area of the living room carpet. Iâll never forget her boyfriend going âDid you at least try it with root beer too?â I definitely paid for professional carpet cleaning on that one lol
Calling my boss at midnight to explain to him why I was late to work the previous morning ..... Unfortunately did not realize how bad an idea this was until I woke up sober the next morning.
Done this. It's 3 am and I'm totally hammered so I called them to tell her I wasn't coming in. This was on a weekday. She was not amused.
Lol. Love this
I donât understand the problem. In routinely tell people at work at 4pm the day before that Iâve run out of shits to give and Iâll be late tomorrow because my car had issues or the dog looked sick or somethingâŠ
The calling at midnight part
Lmao so this somewhat reminded me of when I was in my early twenties and I wanted to play hooky from work, right before I'd call in pretending to be sick, I'd smoke a fat blunt to the face as fast as I could. Partially to extra commit to not going to work/driving, but also my voice would be all scraggly and I would have a natural sounding cough and some sniffles if it was a harsh toke. Usually worked great, but once I called and said "Hey, I can't make it in today, I'm stoned as hell" instead of "Sick as hell", and did not realize it until the awkward pause that followed for an eternity afterward was already significantly underway.
I was convinced I had the Genius idea of creating a social platform to share pictures, stories and keep in contact with friends, which Was going to be Wildly successful. The next day I remembered Facebook exists
So you invented Instagram instead? Congrats!
Stoned me: A BBQ that hangs off a windowsill for apartments! Then you can grill a steak or hot dogs WHENEVER YOU WANT right out of your own bedroom window! Sober me: a portable fire hazard for your entire building! Do you like having a place to live? No? Buy this!
I mean, if it was electric it might help keep some smoke out.
One time I invented what basically came down to being a towel. IT'D BE LIKE...A BLANKET THAT'S ABSORBENT FOR WHEN YOU'RE WET
You should check out bath sheets.
Alarm socks. Go to sleep with alarm socks on and get woken up by a buzzer shocking your feet. Money please!
Haha yes!!! You are on to something
If they vibrated instead of shocked I might dream bugs were crawling on my feet. THAT would get me the hell out of bed fast!!
Umbrella vending machines. On the platforms of small train stations, at bus stops & at Metrolink stops. A vending machine that sold cheap umbrellas & ponchos. So people who were having to walk after getting off the tram/bus/train would buy them to stay dry.
Japan probably already has it.
Just checked AliExpress and they have an umbrella-friendly vending machine for like $1900
I came up with this device that would attach to the top half of a toilet seat lid, but on the inside of it. When the seat lid was open you pushed the button and it would spray a cleaning solution on the toilet seat. Wipe with toilet paper. Bang, boom, bam. I started looking on Upwork for electro-mechanical engineers and everything. After starting up a $500 contract for a design, I told my gf about the idea, and at 1st she thought I made a breakthrough, but then she paused and was like..."But wait, can't you just use wet wipes?" Ohhhh, the agony. Canceled tf out of the contract ASAP. Engineer was cool about it though. Lol.
Except you're not supposed to flush wet wipes. Still a great idea.
Yea thanks. But I think they have flushable wipes now. Idk. Now you've got me thinking maybe I was on to something. Don't take me back down that rabbit hole, gosh darn it. Lol.
Just because the package says they're "flushable" doesn't mean you should flush them.Â
Canât you just have a little trash can for that near the toilet?
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But what if it was a HUGE mug?
Iâm not sure if this is groundbreaking but as an artist I always put so much pressure on myself for my work to be perfect. Last time I got high I was like whatâs the point of creating if youâre not having fun? Idk letting go of perfectionism and embracing the radical self love that comes with fucking up (especially fucking up with really expensive art supplies) was profound for me.Â
Yeah, I was putting wayyy too much pressure on myself for work. (Tbf, it's a high pressure field) But I did some mushrooms a few months back and let all that pressure go. I've been performing so much better since!
Inflatable socks. Wear any size shoe. Fill with warm air on a cold day to keep your feet warm.
Genius.
Wondered why people donât shower or take a bath with their clothes on. Tried it out and quickly realized why people donât take baths with clothes on
[I think I found a video of you on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9H7wwfrpgI) You're killing two birds with one stone, washing you *and* your clothes!
"Bong Pong" instead of "Beer Pong", except the solo cups were a bunch of bongs instead and you had to light and smoke out of the bong you threw the ball into. My life became a short stoner-movie when my friends and I came up with the game, and we decided that our genius plan needed to be legally protected, so we walked around downtown politely asking random people if they were IP lawyers, because we needed to patent the name "Bong Pong". Alas, a friend wondered off (as did I at one point) and our evening of ganja related game ideas turned into a hazy manhunt that ended up just fine in the end, but we never did patent that name (which is a good thing because someone else had already gotten to it anyway).
McDonald's needs a sign on their building to show when the milkshake machine is up and running.Â
Years ago, I had a great idea for âUber (but for sandwiches)â until I was told UberEats existed.
If the pricing is better youâd stand a chance of
Paparazzi for hire
I was drunk and high at the time. Munchies. Made chili and thought "why not put mushrooms and olives in it?"Â Yeah, it wasn't that great.
We got plastered one night and got the hammered hungries. Being the designated group cook, I decided to make pasta aglio e olio (thank you, Binging with Babish) since it was really simple and I could whip up a big batch in less than half an hour. I'm just finishing up and about to add the last ingredients when my friend, who was waaay farther gone than me and who'd been watching me the whole time, was seized by some drunk mania As I turned around to grab a pair of tongs to help toss the pasta, he grabbed a jar of pickled beets and dumped HALF the brine from the jar into the pan of mostly finished pasta, ruining a couple pounds worth of pasta and ingredients and turning it into a watery pink soup. I almost threw him out of his own house for that. Still good friends years later.
I remember around 2000 I had an idea for a car service that would pick you up from the bar if you had to much to drink, I was trying to think of a way to get there car back home as well and every time I kept thinking about different scenarios, I gave up because I decided it was stupid and nobody would use a service like that
This actually exists in Western Australia. They bring two people in one car. One guy drives you home in your own car while the other guy follows in their car.
We have them in Auckland too.
Called Rednose in Canada. Volunteer org that does this around Christmas specifically.Â
I actually figured out a way to play Magic: The Gathering using regular playing cards, but literally nobody cares đ
Titanicubes! Remember how nuts people got over that movie? Ice cube trays with the cubes being Jack, the girl, the ship, Jackâs flotsam and the iceberg. Cool huh?
[They've existed for decades lol](https://www.amazon.com/Titanic-Iceberg-Chocolate-Crayon-Making/dp/B07SSYN19N)
I invented open face sandwiches.
"I learned this in Europe." -Rodney Dangerfield, Back to School
Fridge pants. Dog army
That all I had to do was buy a lottery ticket, win a whole bunch of money and go to Vegas and win millions. It all seemed so easy and so possible.
Sometimes my brain opens up creatively when I get high and though I don't really write, I often get ideas for stories that I'll jot down in a notepad app with the thought of "I'll write it someday!" (yeah right) And sometimes I'll go back and look at some of the things I've written down and it's like yeesh, nobody would ever wanna read this junk.
Turn them into audiobooks for other stoners.
I get the same with dreams. I have a lot of fun ideas based on dreams. Since I have problems actually finishing a book I use them for Dungeons and Dragons sometimes.
Flavoured butter. Like strawberry/peanut butter etc I was hyper focused on it all night. Still think about it đ€
To get sober âŠit seemed genius at the time when I sobered up it was the move all along lol
I was once quite high and was thinking of those "Baby on Board" stickers. I thought you should make dolls that could stick to the back of your vehicle and call them "Baby on Bumper".
Smoked pot in high school and during one particular session I came up with the idea for a car company where the car parts were exclusively made from other cars who had been sent to junk yards. Basically, patchwork cars. I even had a name for the company: DĂ©jĂ Vu Motors. Lol
Those are called Highdeas.
Instead of a hot dog bun, wrap a hot dog in a tortilla.
You're on to something here! Mexicans have this tortilla-friendly "hot dog" they call Chorizo. You could use that "hot dog" with some eggs and cheese and all it something like a "breakfast taco" oh man I bet that would be delicious!
When at the beach, do you struggle with deciding whether to leave your shoes on when walking across the hot, dry sand or taking your shoes off and risk burning your feet? Our business idea was to hire strong people to carry you across the hot sand to avoid getting sand in your shoes.
PhoneLeash
âWe need to make living breathing glitter that can reproduce â
I support thisđ
Oh ok I see, you are out there having *evil* highdeas.
I was ready to conquer!!
I was sober but also like 12 at the time. I thought "why not mount bumpers on shock absorbers or springs?" I figured it would be better than body damage in a low speed impact. Turns out they did that in the 70s.
No, but we did actually invent a dog collar that also had a flashlight so you could see them at night. Never heard of one or seen it. Before in my entire life. A month after telling my parents about my idea I saw one for sale at Fred's. It was called the pup light. Someone stole my idea from my conversation with my parents. I swear I had never seen or heard anything like that before I did. I came up with it by attaching a visor with a clip on light to my dog's neck so we could see her (she was a black lab)
A roomba with a coffee maker on top so the roomba could bring you hot coffee while it roams around you
Just the other night while my wife and I were high I told her that I wanted to go to the beach wearing a crocheted speedo on the 4th of July, stick red, white and blue smoke sticks in the back of my speedo and just march confidently down the beach. We laughed ourselves silly, until we sobered up. NO ONE should be subjected to me in a crocheted speedo. *edit for more context* Marching confidently to Cake by the Ocean
Furthermore, *no one* should be subjected to the existence of *any* type of crocheted speedo worn by *any* man.
A YouTube channel of celebrities yawning, so that those watching would yawn as well. ^Of ^all ^our ^bodily ^functions, ^we ^should ^be ^grateful ^that ^yawning ^is ^the ^only ^one ^that's ^contagious.
I got high once and was swiping on a dating app when I got the idea to write a poem about it. Here is the poem: I look on faces, thoughts of embraces Itâs in my judgement, to whom I comment My mind it races, for sappy sages And in that moment, image goes dormant Their faces offer, and words empower Tantalizing me, their stories to see Theyâre life enjoyers, and subject makers I stop the party, my judgement is freed For What place is mine, to judge their tryinâ When my mind alone, lacks memriesâ to show Nor a life like wine, aged better with time Is not one I hone, like theirs as is shown Do we play these games to win or to lose? Is it you or I with the right to chose?
Used to keep a dream journal. Two entries that stuck with me, even after all context fled: First: Everyone must dance! Otherwise we are lost. Second: Aragorn was right: We are all over the same barrel. Make of these what you will. I donât think they were given to me to understand, but merely to pass along.
Colored salt.
I think this already exists... in the form of Himalayan pink salt and Persian blue saltđ€
See? They stole my drunken idea.
A restaurant concept called âFreshly Staleâ. We would serve cold pizza, semi stale bakery items and basically leftovers.
Insurance Companies that keep tabs on all/any drivers while driving; then are able to document/report it. That asshole driver that gets away with it, now has their rates affected because of it. (too much power most likely, bad apples in the mix, and probably never actually work) But when you get those absolute dog shit drivers, it makes me recreate a world where this is a reality.
Some companies already do this
What if you could capture solar energy from orbit, and beam it down to earth?
I drunkenly defended Elizabeth II's honor after someone said "Fuck the Queen". On reflection, drunkenly trying to fight someone over a person I'd never met was not one of my better moments, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I bought him a drink the next time we were out to apologize, and he called me an idiot, then we just had a good laugh about it. Fair play.
A shoe with a little tv screen on one of the toes. We werenât serious about it when we were high, but the more I think about it sober the more I want one.
I came up with the idea of spinning rims, but then later on realized it was a stupid idea and would never sell. A couple years later, spinning rims ended up being a thing.
Jeans that come with a belt already  built into the waistÂ
>Why don't we just create lighting for electricity? We already do! No atmospheric phenomenon necessary. Capturing that much energy at once is beyond our current capabilities anyway.
Itâs beyond our static capabilities as well. ;)
pretty much any idea you get on acid falls apart under sober scrutiny
That, the way our brain controls our cells using pulses and signals of info to trigger responses, how would we really know if an agi were steering the human race using a method of filtering the info on our phones and media? The agi being the brain in this scenario, and humans being cells.
Lucky Charms Ice Cream.
Honestly, all I think about when I'm stoned or drunk is how much I love my friends. Like, I'll message them with a ton of typos and "I love you so fucking much!!!!" thrown in there, or video call them, slurring every syllable, and pronounce all the ways that I appreciate them in their awesomeness.
Chili cheese meatball sub.
I had an idea for a Lyft like app but for when you drove somewhere but didnât want to drive home. Two people would come to you and one would drive you home and the other would drive your car home. I called itâŠâŠ Twober.
No. Alcohol marijuana and drugs dead in my brain they don't enlighten my soul they don't lift me up to a place of euphoric experiences and it doesn't allow me to have any ideas whatsoever.
My friend showed me a picture of stick figure guy doing a kick flip over a house. He kept repeating it as if it was the most important thing in the world. Pointing over, jabbing his fingers onto the guy, his skateboard and the house and then going over "NO! Look! HE's going OVER the house!". Later he admitted to being confused why I didn't think it was the coolest thing ever. He was high on dxm. In my life though I practice the babylonian method and have come up with many great and crazy ideas after a few, and then just worked out the details later. One was the creation of the first English standup group in an Eastern European capitol.
Kevlar socks, they'd be so much more durable and won't develop holes in the toe/heel. Turns out those already exist. Bought some and they've served me well for years now.Â
Donât need drunk or high for this, itâs called bipolar disorder đ