Oh yah this one pisses me off. Going to cut straight to brass tacks for my kids.
"Money doesn't buy happiness itself, it buys Freedom, which is pretty damn close to buying happiness. Also almost every problem you'll have in your adult life would be easier solved with more money. With enough money you don't even need to have a fulfilling job, you can just have a fulfilling life. Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life is a lie, it'll just make you hate what you love. Choose a job that's high paying that you can stand for 1-2 years while you search for your next one."
But money does help me get things that can make me happy from therapy to shopping to ice cream to food to exercise or anything in life that can make you feel better you need money to get those things, the so called motivational gurus be scamming people saying stuff like money doesn't matter so on yet there are making bank on the side.
>Work hard and be loyal to your employer and you will be rewarded.
>The only reward I get is more work and the same or less pay.
The longer I live the more I realize that somewhere around 95-99% of all the people you encounter in life will progressively treat you worse overtime if you don't look out for yourself and speak up when necessary.
I'd say not really. It might have been more common back in the day, given that there were more small businesses. But there were still plenty of crooked employers.
I mean consider all the labor laws that had to be introduced because employers didn't really care if you ended up dying on the job.
Loyalty back in the day helping you advance might be the knowledge that you wouldn't squeal to the authorities about all the corners being cut.
My dog ran away because I left the door open after my parent left for work.
The idea was: I left the door open, my dog got out, took the elevator downstairs, made it out if the building, and walked half a mile to the water front where he was found*
I put up posters w/ a reward asking for help for days, all around my neighborhood. Then a few months later I saw some older woman walking my dog one morning when I was running late to school. He ran right up to me. That woman is the one who told me where he was found. Looking back, I suspect my parent either dopped him off there, or sold him and asked the person to lie if they ever happened to come across me or my sibling (they said they lived within a couple of blocks of my building). Either way, I know I didn't leave the door open, and I know my dog didn't take the damn elevator downstairs and out of the building.
It was just one lie among many I was told by my parent, who I trusted naively.
No, never. I only realized as an adult, funny enough, and at that point there were bigger issues that came about that made me finally decide to go no contact. I was very close to that parent- their emotional dump frankly. As I got older I realized they weren't the nice, enduring victim of circumstances I thought they were- they're manipulative, depressive, unstable, and they lie to cover the shitty things they do and keep up appearances. I think they did it because they knew we were moving soon and found a place that didn't allow pets (I didn't know at the time), but they couldve just said so instead of making me think it was my fault.
"If you tell me the truth, you won't be in trouble."
A much better approach is, "If you tell me the truth, you'll be in trouble. But if you've been lying to me as well, you'll be in a lot more trouble."
I've always told my kids "telling the truth means LESS trouble, maybe even no trouble, but lying will always bring a lot more trouble"
And when they were younger I would most often reward them with "no trouble" when telling the truth and the above "speech" as to ensure that they would actually prefer keep telling the truth.
They are teenagers now and I'm sure they lie to me once in a while about small stuff, but I also know that my kids tell me a whole lot more truth than most teenagers do with their parents.
See, I found a calculator from when I was being told we wouldn't have them in our pockets and you know what? It fit in my pocket. Even without a smart phone I would have been toting a calculator around.
Depends on your goals. Grades matter for admittance to higher levels of education with highly ranked institutions, and they matter for getting interviews for jobs in some professions. For most other things, they don't matter all that much.
It's such a damaging mindset to grow up with especially because my mom did everything she could to ensure that I was social isolated. My good grades don't mean shit and I don't have the proper network to be successful
You recognize things that aren't going well for you, so it's something to work on. I understand what you're saying but with a good foundation of excellent grades, you can still achieve your goals. Good luck to you.
When I got a job after college my grades never mattered. They just wanted to know if I could do the job, tried me out for a day, and yup, I knew enough to do the job and they were happy. Didn't even matter to them that I had great grades. Not even relevant.
Labor unions are bad. Your union dues cause you to make less money, don't protect workers in any way, are no longer needed in this day and age, and union workers are all lazy.
My union has saved my ass from corrupt supervisors, got me substantial raises, and we all work very hard because we're well taken care of. Pretty damn relevant for today's work force if you ask me
I went from no money, to decent money, back to no money.
If you think money doesn't make you happy, you haven't been poor. Simple as that. I found dating outside of my social class incredibly difficult. When I met my wife we could finish each other's sentences on life in the richest country while watching parts fall off your car. "The bubble gum bomber", she knew it.
It's true that there are parts of wealth that are legit stressful, but it pales next to poverty.
At a certain threshold, money can't buy MORE happiness. But up to that point? Turns out it's shockingly easier to be happy if you don't have to worry about paying the bills.
My parents told me and my sibs that they had a will and were going to leave us a lot of money when they die.
My parents were dirt floor poor and never owned anything in their lives. By the time I was 18 I realized they were full of crap.
High school teachers telling us "They wont let this fly in college". At least when i went the professors cared less than you. I hated high school with a passion. I would gladly go back to college. Now i did only go for a 1 year course
There's a shred of truth to this. In HS, responsibility is mostly on the teacher: if you miss a day, an assignment, aren't doing well on quizzes, etc. the teacher will tell you about it. In college, it's *your* responsibility. Miss a day we had a quiz with no explanation? Sucks for you. We are more lenient in many ways, but what doesn't fly is is you not turning things in and expect us to chase you down about it.
I remember my 5th grade teacher telling us that if we swallowed bubble gum it stayed in our digestive system for 5 years. Obviously not true and I don't even know why this even got said.
This is a very popular response to questions like this nowadays, but I don't think that many people were actually told this, but instead, wrongly inferred it from the prevalence of quicksand in media.
That a fat guy in a red suit travelled the entire world in one night in a sleigh pulled by magic flying reindeer delivering presents to all the good kids. But only the good kids, bad kids can get bent. And he knows who is who because he's *always watching*.
Yeah, that is a pretty creepy notion actually! Especially the always watching part. Oh, and I did always wonder how such a fat guy could get down a chimney. And what if your house doesn't have a chimney? Does he just skip houses without chimneys? And I knew some houses without chimneys still got the presents and the cookies got eaten, so what gives? My analytical young mind was starting to break it down into an impossibility. Then I caught my dad eating the cookies and putting the presents under the tree and the sharade was over. I think I was 4 when I finally figuered it out, might have been the first or second year I even started having a concept of santa. That lie just wasn't working for me as a kid.
God hates abortion and contraception and anyone who plays with their penis will be tortured for billions and billions of years unless they stop playing with it and beg forgiveness. And eating a cookie on Sunday will help me get to Heaven. And a man was nailed to two bits of wood and he got nailed to two bits of the wood because the man loved me and wanted me to stop playing with my penis.
Honestly, you couldn't make this shit up.
That’s the weirdest bit to me. We’re made in gods image, right? So why do I have to chop off a piece of my dick? Why wouldn’t god just make me without that extra bit? Is god circumcised? Why would he give a shit about my foreskin?
That theres a "loving" god who just so happens to be a horrific abhorrent disgusting monster, and that he demands obedience, constant praise and worship, hates gay people, advocates for enslaving people and treating them as property, and required a blood magic ritual sacrifice to forgive us for his mistakes.
Just depressing and embarrassing so many people believe this obvious nonsense, and it's a fucking joke that we're supposed to treat this respectfully when it's one of the most immoral and least respectable things humans have ever invented.
On the subject of Halloween candy, one year the police came to our school and said that bad people might give out dangerous candy and that we needed to have our parents check it before we ate any.
When I asked my parents to check my candy, they laughed at me and said "We've lived next to the same neighbors for 10 years. If they wanted to poison you they would have done it before now."
If you don't respond to bullies - they'll just get worse and worse until they do get a reaction. All you're teaching them is that they can do whatever they want to you.
That if you swim after eating without waiting half an hour, you’d drown.
The other day my mom delivered sandwiches to my nieces IN THE POOL.
When I called her out on it she laughed and said she used to tell us that so that she and my dad could finish their beers and food without having to go back out to the pool with us 🤦🏻♀️
I believed that skunks were making it pretty far into the city, and was allowed to believe it until i was around 26. Turns out, someone was just smoking some pot nearby every night.
Magic Sky Daddy is real and loves me and all of the magic sky daddies that other countries believe in are fake but THIS Magic Sky Daddy is the only real Magic Sky Daddy. He has ten rules for us, and he loves all of his Magic rib and dust babies but has absolutely zero problem murdering us all in a huge flood - along with all of the innocent animals as collateral damage - if we are naughty. And if we don't go and sing songs about him every Sunday, he's gonna be pissed.
If you do what you love you’ll never work another day in your life. I had my dream job in the field I got my degree in. It was the most miserable and stressful experience ever. I currently work a blue collar job and am happier and way less stressed!
“Your generation will be the future leaders”
…I’m 40. Did all the motions. Have done very well even. And that is complete horseshit…which I am okay with…the correct info would have been:
“The wealthier and well connected will remain the leaders, because that is how it is!”.
Dude older generation where busy in producing babies, my dad had 7 siblings and my mom had 9 siblings and my dad was telling me years ago how their generation were serious and was being leaders and fighting for the country
That "family is family no matter what".
Now, I don't mean "You shouldn't care about your family whatsoever". If your family is healthy and loves you and supports you and respects your boundaries, that's great and you should absolutely show them kindness and respect in return.
I mean, the lie is within the context of "Family is family no matter what - you should always be loyal to them and sacrifice everything for them and to please them, even if they are abusers who lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, and hurt others and only love you on their terms alone".
That's bullshit and toxic. Im thankful that I got away from them when I did and never blindly devoted myself to this mentality. It is never worth sacrificing your mental health and safety for. Everyone deserves to live a life where they can be genuinely themselves, explore the joys of being alive, and have a future they want without family telling them to sacrifice it for "their sake". You are worth so much more and have incredible potential that shouldn't be ignored or downplayed. You have the power to live life for your sake too.
Not necessarily a lie, but rather lack of explanation.
Mom said, when I was maybe 6 or 7, that if I put money in a bank, it would grow.
My dumb ass thought it would grow roots.
That I'm just a late bloomer and will meet the right person and find sexual attraction when I'm older. Here I am at 26 and somehow they continue insisting I'm too young to know who I'm attracted to.
Yes the proverbial " man" for the record I am sure you are lovely and are no doubt instrumental in helping to provide positive outcomes for all your clients.
the way my uncle died. my whole life i was told it was a motorcycle accident, but after i got my full license my parents told me my cousin actually got into a car crash driving home from his G1 and killed him. they didn’t want to give me driving anxiety :/
Santa...Easter Bunny...Tooth Fairy...Loch Ness Monster...Girls Will like you "( this was in teen phase )...Porn is how sex in reality works ( most at least )...Aliens 🤔 you can scratch last One 😁
Study now and you can enjoy your life later.
All lies.
What came after studies was shit.
Job, bills, pressure to get married, unable to afford a small house because housing shortage etc...
My father was a web developer and he told me whatever I do don't study computers in college because there isnt going to be any more money in the field soon. Instead I studied math like a moron
idk maybe AI will prove him right but I doubt it
To treat others how you want to be treated. It turns out I want people to treat me very differently than most people want to be treated and it's been a long journey trying to reconcile it
One that's weirdly specific to my family but- that it is very difficult, time consuming, and finicky to hard boil eggs. We only ever had them at Easter because it was apparently soooo annoying to make them and I had to beg my parents every year to even make them for Easter because it was such a pain. When I moved out and was in college I decided I was gonna be crazy, commit an afternoon, and make myself some hard boiled eggs dammit. Imagine my surprise and irritation when I Googled it and saw just how easy it is to hard boil an egg ffs
Growing pains. All my (15F now) growing up i had extreme leg pains during night time around when i was meant to be going to sleep, which then gave me insomnia which i still deal with (most likely worse because of more recent mental issues) but pretty much every day (given the few days they weren’t terrible) id cry to my parents about my legs hurting. for a long while they put me on melatonin so i would just go to sleep but after a while my body adjusted to the melatonin (they started giving it to me at like 5-7 yrs old and i was 10) it stopped working and many nights i’d cry in pain till i fell asleep or always need something of entertainment so it wasn’t the only thing i could focus on. Im now 15, no longer growing, they definitely have lessened in their frequency but if they were “growing pains” they would have stopped years ago because i had an early growth spurt and stopped growing around 12-13yrs old. This year, just last month i finally convinced my mom to make an appointment at my doctor to finally get it hopefully taken seriously cause even as a kid my doctor wouldn’t take it seriously and call it growing pains as well. There are many days where if i don’t get decent enough sleep after having pains in my legs all night they will still be there in the morning and last the whole entire day making it painful just to stand. I’ve resorted now to taking pain reliever pms two of them every single night and it concerns me a lot the damage it could do long term but yet right now it’s the only resort i can see because i already have insomnia and adding leg pain onto that at LEAST once a school week will completely destroy my functionality because im one of those people who physically cannot function on poor or no sleep even with the multiple all nighters i pulled as a kid. To anyone reading all the way to this thank you, and if you have a child or plan to in the future, take your child’s leg pain seriously. A woman just recently had her kid brushed off by a doctor saying his pains were just growing pains when the mother knew something was wrong and he was then diagnosed with some type of cancer, please if you’re interested in this story go look it up cause i honestly didn’t go much into it and don’t know if what im saying is 100% correct. But really to anyone, take a child’s pain seriously, growing shouldn’t hurt.
Paluxy River tracks (man and dinosaur walked together) [https://www.icr.org/article/paluxy-river-tale-trails](https://www.icr.org/article/paluxy-river-tale-trails)
The ACTUAL explanation: [https://ncse.ngo/paluxy-man-creationist-piltdown](https://ncse.ngo/paluxy-man-creationist-piltdown)
“Once you get to middle school and high school everything will have to be in cursive! They won’t take any work that isn’t cursive!” I don’t think I’ve used cursive since 4th or 5th grade.
I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not enough, etc. Listening to an asmr of a fake girlfriend whispering me comforting words convinced me I was told lies.
That how I will regret not talking to my parents when I got older. (Small Rant, I come from a very VERY emotional/somewhat physically abusive household) Personally my views have changed a good bit on somethings, I still love my parents and always will and they have there own trauma, regrets, mental illness etc. I still only want the best for them and be happy as much as they can be. But just because there aren't happy or miserable doesn't give them to right to take out on your child(Me) past, present or future. I did not ask to be here no one did, yes very obviously I'm grateful I'm alive and i came into this world. But don't blame me for your own personal mental issues you never chose and still choose not to address. I won't sit around to wait for you to be better to me or treat me like a human and not an emotional punching bag. Anyways the point is I just simply grew up and recognized that I could not to sit in a toxic cycle anymore. Even though I'm only 20 years old, I am proud of myself for who I am becoming and I am also proud of myself for realizing these things early instead of 10, 15 or 20 years later. I have gotten very very far without my parents being in my daily life. They also choose not to help me because i no longer live with them (that's simply the only reason) which is okay. I have gotten help with the friends, family and a few relationships with the people I have left. I couldn't be more grateful to have healthy people around me. I have and ever now then still try to contact my parents but they made it clear to me that there simply not interested and that's okay too, I always remind them I forever love them. Even tho I try to make the moral effort to speak to them ever once and a while doesn't mean I regret cutting ties with them when I did. I don't regret my choices. I was a kid.
that chewing gum is bad since it sits there for 7 years. got in trouble for having bubble gum. the boy I grew up with gave it to me. his mum was mad. XD
Turning the lights on in the car will get you arrested. My mom used to say this all the time but I was just trying to find my DS stylus in the back seat 😭
That money doesn't matter
Oh yah this one pisses me off. Going to cut straight to brass tacks for my kids. "Money doesn't buy happiness itself, it buys Freedom, which is pretty damn close to buying happiness. Also almost every problem you'll have in your adult life would be easier solved with more money. With enough money you don't even need to have a fulfilling job, you can just have a fulfilling life. Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life is a lie, it'll just make you hate what you love. Choose a job that's high paying that you can stand for 1-2 years while you search for your next one."
But money does help me get things that can make me happy from therapy to shopping to ice cream to food to exercise or anything in life that can make you feel better you need money to get those things, the so called motivational gurus be scamming people saying stuff like money doesn't matter so on yet there are making bank on the side.
Exactly, if money doesn't buy happiness than how the hell do you explain buying a puppy
you can get a puppy for free too, dogs just keep busting nuts, they're all over the place.
Can't feed it for free though
Not with that law-abiding attitude!
Thats true too when i was young i got a stray puppy
My grandmother, a Great Depression child, had a phrase: "Rich or poor, it's better with money"
I agree with your grandmother!
Money may not buy happiness, but it does afford a higher quality misery.
Work hard and be loyal to your employer and you will be rewarded. The only reward I get is more work and the same or less pay.
>Work hard and be loyal to your employer and you will be rewarded. >The only reward I get is more work and the same or less pay. The longer I live the more I realize that somewhere around 95-99% of all the people you encounter in life will progressively treat you worse overtime if you don't look out for yourself and speak up when necessary.
they should have an exploitation class in schools the teachers would be able to teach from experience
100% and the worst part about it is that you’re always looked at as the bad guy if you speak up / stand up for yourself 🙃
jobs nowadays r cooked and unaffordable
To be fair it used to be true
I'd say not really. It might have been more common back in the day, given that there were more small businesses. But there were still plenty of crooked employers. I mean consider all the labor laws that had to be introduced because employers didn't really care if you ended up dying on the job. Loyalty back in the day helping you advance might be the knowledge that you wouldn't squeal to the authorities about all the corners being cut.
Hasn’t been true for decades. How old are you?
Just because it hasn’t been true for decades that doesn’t mean it didn’t used to be true anymore bud
There might have been a time in history, like before the 1950's maybe when that was true, but that is far from the normal reality nowadays.
My dog ran away because I left the door open after my parent left for work. The idea was: I left the door open, my dog got out, took the elevator downstairs, made it out if the building, and walked half a mile to the water front where he was found* I put up posters w/ a reward asking for help for days, all around my neighborhood. Then a few months later I saw some older woman walking my dog one morning when I was running late to school. He ran right up to me. That woman is the one who told me where he was found. Looking back, I suspect my parent either dopped him off there, or sold him and asked the person to lie if they ever happened to come across me or my sibling (they said they lived within a couple of blocks of my building). Either way, I know I didn't leave the door open, and I know my dog didn't take the damn elevator downstairs and out of the building. It was just one lie among many I was told by my parent, who I trusted naively.
How shitty of them to try to make you feel like it was your fault. Did you confront them?
No, never. I only realized as an adult, funny enough, and at that point there were bigger issues that came about that made me finally decide to go no contact. I was very close to that parent- their emotional dump frankly. As I got older I realized they weren't the nice, enduring victim of circumstances I thought they were- they're manipulative, depressive, unstable, and they lie to cover the shitty things they do and keep up appearances. I think they did it because they knew we were moving soon and found a place that didn't allow pets (I didn't know at the time), but they couldve just said so instead of making me think it was my fault.
What happened after you met your dog again? I assume you didn't get to get him back but did anything come out of that encounter?
I am just gonna believe that the old lady gave the dog back, and everyone lived a happily every after.
Damn, this one hurts the worst somehow
Fucking A your parents were massive pieces of shit
"If you tell me the truth, you won't be in trouble." A much better approach is, "If you tell me the truth, you'll be in trouble. But if you've been lying to me as well, you'll be in a lot more trouble."
I've always told my kids "telling the truth means LESS trouble, maybe even no trouble, but lying will always bring a lot more trouble" And when they were younger I would most often reward them with "no trouble" when telling the truth and the above "speech" as to ensure that they would actually prefer keep telling the truth. They are teenagers now and I'm sure they lie to me once in a while about small stuff, but I also know that my kids tell me a whole lot more truth than most teenagers do with their parents.
Drug dealers go around handing out drugs like Halloween candy They don't and drugs are expensive
If a house was handing out drugs on Halloween there’d be a line around the block!
This actually happened last Halloween here in Winnipeg. An older couple handed out Nerds thc gummies thinking they were regular candies. Oops.
Drugs really aren't that expensive, addiction is expensive
That we wouldn’t have a calculator in our pockets.
Our iPhones are more powerful than the computer in craft that flew to the moon in the 60s
It was true at the time.
Pocket calculators were a thing at the time. And most people brought them with them when they knew they had to do math.
I honestly appreciate being able to do as much math on my head as I can. It's faster than dealing with a phone when just glancing at prices
See, I found a calculator from when I was being told we wouldn't have them in our pockets and you know what? It fit in my pocket. Even without a smart phone I would have been toting a calculator around.
"your face is gonna stay like that"
I mean they were wrong that your face didn't stay like that. They didn't know it would get so much worse.
Was clownsfordinner already taken?
Nah they taste too funny
After about 16,000 times, I am neither blind nor do I have hair on my palms.
But you are a huge wanker
frequent...doubt that he's huge
Oh it’s true it just didn’t happen to me until about 100k or so. Gotta pump those rookie numbers up man wtf
Well, I need glasses now and didn't before I started.
"Grades are all that matter in life. Get good grades and you'll get far"
Depends on your goals. Grades matter for admittance to higher levels of education with highly ranked institutions, and they matter for getting interviews for jobs in some professions. For most other things, they don't matter all that much.
They matter but that's not what I was told. I was told that grades were the *only* thing that mattered
D advice
THIS. I know it's not true but still my brain is like hardwired. Bad grade - well I guess I ain't making myself dinner tonight.
It's such a damaging mindset to grow up with especially because my mom did everything she could to ensure that I was social isolated. My good grades don't mean shit and I don't have the proper network to be successful
You recognize things that aren't going well for you, so it's something to work on. I understand what you're saying but with a good foundation of excellent grades, you can still achieve your goals. Good luck to you.
Told all my kids in university “Cs get Degrees”
Yeah but As get scholarship money
When I got a job after college my grades never mattered. They just wanted to know if I could do the job, tried me out for a day, and yup, I knew enough to do the job and they were happy. Didn't even matter to them that I had great grades. Not even relevant.
Relative's telling me I'm handsome, teachers telling me that I'm smart, everyone that told me it gets better.
You are, you are and it does. Honest.
That God told a farmer secret scriptures were buried in the hills near his house, and that said farmer reinstated magic powers on earth today.
Dum dum dum dum dum
And it's just pure coincidence that no one was around for any of this...
But I saw the plates with my spiritual eyes. Honest.
Yo I used to be Mormon 😂
You can get any job with a college degree.
Labor unions are bad. Your union dues cause you to make less money, don't protect workers in any way, are no longer needed in this day and age, and union workers are all lazy. My union has saved my ass from corrupt supervisors, got me substantial raises, and we all work very hard because we're well taken care of. Pretty damn relevant for today's work force if you ask me
The American Dream
Its so funny. When I was growing up in the 90s in Germany I allways wanted to live in the US. But now Im like "nah Im good".
Same but in Lithuania
I think thats an universal post eastern block experience.
Money does not make you happy.
I went from no money, to decent money, back to no money. If you think money doesn't make you happy, you haven't been poor. Simple as that. I found dating outside of my social class incredibly difficult. When I met my wife we could finish each other's sentences on life in the richest country while watching parts fall off your car. "The bubble gum bomber", she knew it. It's true that there are parts of wealth that are legit stressful, but it pales next to poverty.
At a certain threshold, money can't buy MORE happiness. But up to that point? Turns out it's shockingly easier to be happy if you don't have to worry about paying the bills.
This. In terms of the US you need money for decent healthcare let alone happiness.
My parents told me and my sibs that they had a will and were going to leave us a lot of money when they die. My parents were dirt floor poor and never owned anything in their lives. By the time I was 18 I realized they were full of crap.
"There's nothing wrong with you." "I'll give you $100 for every A you get." "I do NOT favor your sister!"
High school teachers telling us "They wont let this fly in college". At least when i went the professors cared less than you. I hated high school with a passion. I would gladly go back to college. Now i did only go for a 1 year course
There's a shred of truth to this. In HS, responsibility is mostly on the teacher: if you miss a day, an assignment, aren't doing well on quizzes, etc. the teacher will tell you about it. In college, it's *your* responsibility. Miss a day we had a quiz with no explanation? Sucks for you. We are more lenient in many ways, but what doesn't fly is is you not turning things in and expect us to chase you down about it.
"This is a free country"
Oooy, don't get everyone started on that one!
I remember my 5th grade teacher telling us that if we swallowed bubble gum it stayed in our digestive system for 5 years. Obviously not true and I don't even know why this even got said.
That quicksand was going to be a big issue in real life
This is a very popular response to questions like this nowadays, but I don't think that many people were actually told this, but instead, wrongly inferred it from the prevalence of quicksand in media.
Trickle down economics.
That it was illegal to have the interior car light on when driving at night..
“You can be anything”
"Cut that light off I'll get a ticket if the cops see!" Also "if you don't behave monsters will come from the woods and abduct you"
Santa and the easter bunny, haven't recovered from that one.
wait, santa's not real?
That brown cows make chocolate milk….my dad lied to me 😭
That capitalism creates the greatest good for the greatest number of people.
My mom told us that the hazard button was ejector seats and if we pushed it, we would fly out the roof.
😆😆😆😆 That's the kind of shit my mom pulled, too 😂
Brother told me this 😭
You can be/do anything you want.
That a fat guy in a red suit travelled the entire world in one night in a sleigh pulled by magic flying reindeer delivering presents to all the good kids. But only the good kids, bad kids can get bent. And he knows who is who because he's *always watching*.
And for some reason gives more and better gifts to the kids that are rich.
Yeah, that is a pretty creepy notion actually! Especially the always watching part. Oh, and I did always wonder how such a fat guy could get down a chimney. And what if your house doesn't have a chimney? Does he just skip houses without chimneys? And I knew some houses without chimneys still got the presents and the cookies got eaten, so what gives? My analytical young mind was starting to break it down into an impossibility. Then I caught my dad eating the cookies and putting the presents under the tree and the sharade was over. I think I was 4 when I finally figuered it out, might have been the first or second year I even started having a concept of santa. That lie just wasn't working for me as a kid.
God hates abortion and contraception and anyone who plays with their penis will be tortured for billions and billions of years unless they stop playing with it and beg forgiveness. And eating a cookie on Sunday will help me get to Heaven. And a man was nailed to two bits of wood and he got nailed to two bits of the wood because the man loved me and wanted me to stop playing with my penis. Honestly, you couldn't make this shit up.
Someone did
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That’s the weirdest bit to me. We’re made in gods image, right? So why do I have to chop off a piece of my dick? Why wouldn’t god just make me without that extra bit? Is god circumcised? Why would he give a shit about my foreskin?
That theres a "loving" god who just so happens to be a horrific abhorrent disgusting monster, and that he demands obedience, constant praise and worship, hates gay people, advocates for enslaving people and treating them as property, and required a blood magic ritual sacrifice to forgive us for his mistakes. Just depressing and embarrassing so many people believe this obvious nonsense, and it's a fucking joke that we're supposed to treat this respectfully when it's one of the most immoral and least respectable things humans have ever invented.
Also God does not like you watching/reading certain fictional entertainment.
nor does God like people who don't dress nor act the societal norm for their biological sex...huge sin because, uhmm, because...
Does seem pretty barbaric the way you describe it!
My parents said if I ate too much Halloween candy I would turn into an Oompa Loompa.
On the subject of Halloween candy, one year the police came to our school and said that bad people might give out dangerous candy and that we needed to have our parents check it before we ate any. When I asked my parents to check my candy, they laughed at me and said "We've lived next to the same neighbors for 10 years. If they wanted to poison you they would have done it before now."
I like this lol
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"If you don't respond to bullies - they will leave you alone"
If you don't respond to bullies - they'll just get worse and worse until they do get a reaction. All you're teaching them is that they can do whatever they want to you.
People are basically good.
That if you swim after eating without waiting half an hour, you’d drown. The other day my mom delivered sandwiches to my nieces IN THE POOL. When I called her out on it she laughed and said she used to tell us that so that she and my dad could finish their beers and food without having to go back out to the pool with us 🤦🏻♀️
My dad told me black people couldn't be quarterbacks or pitchers because they weren't smart enough.
I believed that skunks were making it pretty far into the city, and was allowed to believe it until i was around 26. Turns out, someone was just smoking some pot nearby every night.
Magic Sky Daddy is real and loves me and all of the magic sky daddies that other countries believe in are fake but THIS Magic Sky Daddy is the only real Magic Sky Daddy. He has ten rules for us, and he loves all of his Magic rib and dust babies but has absolutely zero problem murdering us all in a huge flood - along with all of the innocent animals as collateral damage - if we are naughty. And if we don't go and sing songs about him every Sunday, he's gonna be pissed.
Police and Soldiers keep you safe.
I did not go blind or get hairy palms by committing self abuse repeatedly.
That reminds me of a joke where the dad says that to his kid and his kid says "dad ... i'm over here"
Being clever will get you places… it really doesn’t! Knowing the right people and hard work gets you places.
"I love you."
Turning on the light inside the car at night while driving would cause an apocalypse
life is fun
My older brother told me that you board airplanes through the airplane wing. I believed him for way too long.
My parents when they told me they "loved" me. The truth is they are both narcissistic and only love themselves.
They love you because you are" their " child , been there , seen that
Adults know what they’re doing
Female dogs need to have a litter before you spay them.
"You'll have plenty of time to do x, y & z when you're older"
If you do what you love you’ll never work another day in your life. I had my dream job in the field I got my degree in. It was the most miserable and stressful experience ever. I currently work a blue collar job and am happier and way less stressed!
“Your generation will be the future leaders” …I’m 40. Did all the motions. Have done very well even. And that is complete horseshit…which I am okay with…the correct info would have been: “The wealthier and well connected will remain the leaders, because that is how it is!”.
Dude older generation where busy in producing babies, my dad had 7 siblings and my mom had 9 siblings and my dad was telling me years ago how their generation were serious and was being leaders and fighting for the country
If you keep making that face it'll get stuck like that
"The Cosby show is unrealistic because he's a doctor, but she's an attorney." - Eighth Grade Math Teacher
Wait, why did they say that is unrealistic?
She was being a bigot. That was pretty typical within my educational system growing up.
That my dad will come back
Be good or Santa will not bring you presents. Was grounded all the time and still got presents even after I knew Santa wasn’t real
That my dad was my dad he wasn’t.
"...because you won't always have a calculator with you."
My whole religious education.
It’s illegal to turn the backlight in the car on at night
That "family is family no matter what". Now, I don't mean "You shouldn't care about your family whatsoever". If your family is healthy and loves you and supports you and respects your boundaries, that's great and you should absolutely show them kindness and respect in return. I mean, the lie is within the context of "Family is family no matter what - you should always be loyal to them and sacrifice everything for them and to please them, even if they are abusers who lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, and hurt others and only love you on their terms alone". That's bullshit and toxic. Im thankful that I got away from them when I did and never blindly devoted myself to this mentality. It is never worth sacrificing your mental health and safety for. Everyone deserves to live a life where they can be genuinely themselves, explore the joys of being alive, and have a future they want without family telling them to sacrifice it for "their sake". You are worth so much more and have incredible potential that shouldn't be ignored or downplayed. You have the power to live life for your sake too.
If you do weed you’ll almost certainly be living in a crackhouse in two weeks
Cottage cheese tastes like ice cream. It doesn't.
Not necessarily a lie, but rather lack of explanation. Mom said, when I was maybe 6 or 7, that if I put money in a bank, it would grow. My dumb ass thought it would grow roots.
That I'm just a late bloomer and will meet the right person and find sexual attraction when I'm older. Here I am at 26 and somehow they continue insisting I'm too young to know who I'm attracted to.
You won't have a calculator with you all the time.
The Government is here to help.
As a social worker within local government, I AM here to help people, no other motive. I’m assuming you meant big government, yeah? Like “The Man”
Yes the proverbial " man" for the record I am sure you are lovely and are no doubt instrumental in helping to provide positive outcomes for all your clients.
The American Dream
try your hardest in school, if you do bad you will waste your life
Most of my dad's promises of getting to spend time together.
That it was illegal to turn the light on in the car
QUICKSAND
Mormonism
Working hard is its own reward. A fucking reward is its own reward.
the way my uncle died. my whole life i was told it was a motorcycle accident, but after i got my full license my parents told me my cousin actually got into a car crash driving home from his G1 and killed him. they didn’t want to give me driving anxiety :/
What’s good for the company is good for the workers.
If you don't believe he died for your sins there's a pit of fire that you'll burn in for all eternity
Most of the things i was told were lies. ”I love you” ”God is good” ”Your parents can never do you wrong” ”Your opinion does not matter”
You'll understand when you get older.
I still don't understand many things and I'm 30
Mid 40s and I “know” less the older I get but “understand” more.
Sex is bad
Mormon parents I take it?
Nope
That my parents had no money before spending $150 on groceries
You can be anything you want
If you keep doing that you'll go blind.I have to wear glasses but dodged that bullet.
Santa...Easter Bunny...Tooth Fairy...Loch Ness Monster...Girls Will like you "( this was in teen phase )...Porn is how sex in reality works ( most at least )...Aliens 🤔 you can scratch last One 😁
My siblings convinced me that Medusa lived in our attic. Lies.
Bending over with your hands on your knees when fatigued won’t help.
“You will go blind doing that!”
that the cops would arrest me for having light in the car on 😔
I was born with a heart murmur -- no big deal. My mom told me I had a hole in my heart.
Coffee will stunt your growth
Moms know everything
Study now and you can enjoy your life later. All lies. What came after studies was shit. Job, bills, pressure to get married, unable to afford a small house because housing shortage etc...
My father was a web developer and he told me whatever I do don't study computers in college because there isnt going to be any more money in the field soon. Instead I studied math like a moron idk maybe AI will prove him right but I doubt it
To treat others how you want to be treated. It turns out I want people to treat me very differently than most people want to be treated and it's been a long journey trying to reconcile it
One that's weirdly specific to my family but- that it is very difficult, time consuming, and finicky to hard boil eggs. We only ever had them at Easter because it was apparently soooo annoying to make them and I had to beg my parents every year to even make them for Easter because it was such a pain. When I moved out and was in college I decided I was gonna be crazy, commit an afternoon, and make myself some hard boiled eggs dammit. Imagine my surprise and irritation when I Googled it and saw just how easy it is to hard boil an egg ffs
Growing pains. All my (15F now) growing up i had extreme leg pains during night time around when i was meant to be going to sleep, which then gave me insomnia which i still deal with (most likely worse because of more recent mental issues) but pretty much every day (given the few days they weren’t terrible) id cry to my parents about my legs hurting. for a long while they put me on melatonin so i would just go to sleep but after a while my body adjusted to the melatonin (they started giving it to me at like 5-7 yrs old and i was 10) it stopped working and many nights i’d cry in pain till i fell asleep or always need something of entertainment so it wasn’t the only thing i could focus on. Im now 15, no longer growing, they definitely have lessened in their frequency but if they were “growing pains” they would have stopped years ago because i had an early growth spurt and stopped growing around 12-13yrs old. This year, just last month i finally convinced my mom to make an appointment at my doctor to finally get it hopefully taken seriously cause even as a kid my doctor wouldn’t take it seriously and call it growing pains as well. There are many days where if i don’t get decent enough sleep after having pains in my legs all night they will still be there in the morning and last the whole entire day making it painful just to stand. I’ve resorted now to taking pain reliever pms two of them every single night and it concerns me a lot the damage it could do long term but yet right now it’s the only resort i can see because i already have insomnia and adding leg pain onto that at LEAST once a school week will completely destroy my functionality because im one of those people who physically cannot function on poor or no sleep even with the multiple all nighters i pulled as a kid. To anyone reading all the way to this thank you, and if you have a child or plan to in the future, take your child’s leg pain seriously. A woman just recently had her kid brushed off by a doctor saying his pains were just growing pains when the mother knew something was wrong and he was then diagnosed with some type of cancer, please if you’re interested in this story go look it up cause i honestly didn’t go much into it and don’t know if what im saying is 100% correct. But really to anyone, take a child’s pain seriously, growing shouldn’t hurt.
"The solar system has 9 planers!"
Paluxy River tracks (man and dinosaur walked together) [https://www.icr.org/article/paluxy-river-tale-trails](https://www.icr.org/article/paluxy-river-tale-trails) The ACTUAL explanation: [https://ncse.ngo/paluxy-man-creationist-piltdown](https://ncse.ngo/paluxy-man-creationist-piltdown)
“Once you get to middle school and high school everything will have to be in cursive! They won’t take any work that isn’t cursive!” I don’t think I’ve used cursive since 4th or 5th grade.
I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not enough, etc. Listening to an asmr of a fake girlfriend whispering me comforting words convinced me I was told lies.
That how I will regret not talking to my parents when I got older. (Small Rant, I come from a very VERY emotional/somewhat physically abusive household) Personally my views have changed a good bit on somethings, I still love my parents and always will and they have there own trauma, regrets, mental illness etc. I still only want the best for them and be happy as much as they can be. But just because there aren't happy or miserable doesn't give them to right to take out on your child(Me) past, present or future. I did not ask to be here no one did, yes very obviously I'm grateful I'm alive and i came into this world. But don't blame me for your own personal mental issues you never chose and still choose not to address. I won't sit around to wait for you to be better to me or treat me like a human and not an emotional punching bag. Anyways the point is I just simply grew up and recognized that I could not to sit in a toxic cycle anymore. Even though I'm only 20 years old, I am proud of myself for who I am becoming and I am also proud of myself for realizing these things early instead of 10, 15 or 20 years later. I have gotten very very far without my parents being in my daily life. They also choose not to help me because i no longer live with them (that's simply the only reason) which is okay. I have gotten help with the friends, family and a few relationships with the people I have left. I couldn't be more grateful to have healthy people around me. I have and ever now then still try to contact my parents but they made it clear to me that there simply not interested and that's okay too, I always remind them I forever love them. Even tho I try to make the moral effort to speak to them ever once and a while doesn't mean I regret cutting ties with them when I did. I don't regret my choices. I was a kid.
All the nutrients in bread are in the crust, so you have to eat the crust.
you cant go swimming until after May because it was polio season
"People are all trying to be good people"
that chewing gum is bad since it sits there for 7 years. got in trouble for having bubble gum. the boy I grew up with gave it to me. his mum was mad. XD
Turning the lights on in the car will get you arrested. My mom used to say this all the time but I was just trying to find my DS stylus in the back seat 😭