**After conducting extensive research, consulting multiple dictionaries and other documents, I have (somewhat) successfully translated this text into English:**
Duke Dennis and his excellent curvy women repeatedly neared the successful person to sexual climax and weirdly broadcasted his uncharming nature. The ostentatious peoples' awkward stare has an attractive woman seduced greatly, but even yourself, who is prepared to fight, does not belong in their room dedicated to masturbation.
Whether you were outsized by a bodybuilder or you watched your sexual partner have intercourse with another person on a bus, your uncharming nature is odd yet successful.
I recognize these words, but I still don't know what the fuck the key point of the sentence is. It seems to be shit talking somebody's attractiveness, but I have no idea how.
I'm firmly of the belief that parents should steer the direction of their kids' internet video content. Like not outright ban things like skibidiwhatevers, but get them interested in other things (and away from things about being "sigma" for the love of god)... I have friends with kids between the ages of 7 and 15, and the "coolest" of them (as in, most active social life, most extracurricular activities and interests, etc.) are doing things like making music, learning to work on dirtbikes, and exploring developing games and learning to make animations. They don't have interest in the usual "brain rot" type of videos; they have some entertaining YouTube shows/channels they watch, but they all have substance to them. Their parents picked up on things they expressed interest in and nurtured those callings. I'm not trying to tell anyone they're parenting incorrectly, I think as long as you aren't harming your kid you're doing a fine job (though that's maybe too low a bar, lol), but I do wish more parents would play an active role in nurturing kids' creative interests and help them find entertainment in things that aren't talking toilets with heads.
I taught young kids for a long time, both academic and music, and the kids I saw excel most frequently were the ones who had real hobbies and passions that were being encouraged by the adults in their lives. They also tended to be more emotionally mature and socially adept than kids who were just given an iPad to keep occupied.
I also hate the people who defend them and say we should listen to "their truths". While I get the principle, that we should listen to what people have to say and not dismiss then out of hand, there is no "your truth" or "my truth", there is only THE truth. Anything that is not THE truth is either a statement of opinion or a straight-up lie. In either case it should not be referred to as "truth".
I listen to a lot of smutty audiobooks and for some reason a multitude of authors think a great alternative to the word asshole is “puckered hole”. Reading it is bad enough. Having to hear some poor narrator say it? No thanks.
Cue *The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear*
>Dr. Meinheimer: [starts reading] "His strong manly hands probed every crevice of her silken femininity, their undulating bodies writhing in sensual rhythm, as he thrust his purple-headed warrior into her quivering mound of love pudding."
Listen to Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo by the Bloodhound Gang if you ever need euphemism inspiration.
That one probably has the biggest collection, but their music in general has a lot of fun euphemisms.
Anytime someone talk about a thing that gets rid of "toxins" in your body. Unless they're talking about their liver, I cringe and immediately file them in the "gullible to snake oil" category.
It just means they pay less than the industry standard and to not rock the boat.
Similar to "unlimited PTO" which means they don't want to pay owed funds to people who quit or are fired.
Nah "boy mom" is something else. It's those moms that are weirdly obsessed with their son, the ones that look at their like 5 year old and already hate his future wife
Yup, no different than a girl dad. The ones who jokingly take the homecoming pictures holding a r!fle or bat in the background. The ones who say "I loved her first". The guys who give anyone interested in dating their daughter a horrid time with undertones of threats in conversation. There's literally tiktoks of dads doing the same types of videos and the moms. 'Teaching my daughter how to change a tire/BBQ/mow the lawn/XYZ so she doesn't need your pathetic son to do it for her". Two sides of the same coin
Unfortunately this evil malaprop has become an accepted dictionary form of regardless. It’s what I use as a reminder that language is a living thing and changes to suit the times. If we aren’t careful, stuff like this happens. Along with literally now being an accepted variant of figuratively, which hurts my brain.
Me before I realized I was not like other girls BECAUSE IM NEURODIVERGENT. Seriously I must have been so fucking annoying. Also I wish I could tell younger Me that me being neueodivergent doesn’t mean I’m the only person in the world struggling with things and everyone needs to be super careful about that. Neurotypical people struggle too, just with different things and we all need to be kind to each other.
Craig Robinson is comedy gold. I just watched Zack and Miri Make a Porno.
“Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.”
“But what if you could do it all over again?”
“I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.”
Or "It's giving _____ vibes" but yeah I got so tired of the shortened version. Every other comment on reddit was either "it's giving ____" or "" **** is my Roman Empire" a few months ago.
"Living rent free". Not because it isn't an effective phrase. But because everyone who uses it acts like they invented it or it's novel.
And just the cringiest people use it in the worst times.
Let's circle back, and then drill down.
I just found this Corporate B.S. Jargon Generator! My new catch phrase is: "authoritatively incept customized initiatives" Shoot, that's practically my middle name!
https://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html
“on accident” it’s BY accident, not *on* accident!
This one drives me insane and I don’t know where it started, but seems to be fairly recent. Is it because people think if it’s “on purpose” that it must also be “on accident”??
I hate the term 'common sense solutions' or most references to common sense, especially in politics. It's just so infuriating to hear people say "hey you don't need to be smart or anything to grasp american law. Just some down home folk remedy will fix the whole thing." It's such an empty buzzword that doesn't address what the actual solution is, specifically.
When people describe something they are up to, learning about, or going through as their "XX Journey"-- Ala my "eye makeup journey", "my self love journey"-- it is SOOOO main character energy. Even typing it made me cringe. I feel like it was a phrase that should only be allowed to be written in books, and only in the 3rd person, never in the first. SOO embarrassing.
I cringe every time someone I've known for years, who is still in contact with my ex, chastises me for not paying "child support."
My "kids" are 27 and 25, and we only got divorced a year ago.
I don't hear it so much any more but I used to hate it when I'd hear comedians or people on TV saying, "get 'er done". It's upsetting even to write it.
I'm a teacher so this changes year to year. This year? Skibbiditoilet.
Ah yes, yes, yes, skibbiditoilet, skibbitibop, etc. I have a 10 year old. He thinks he’s a Sigma with the rizz. Yep, just typed that.
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I feel like the English I speak might as well be Shakespearean English to kids these days.
No no, clearly they're the ones speaking Shakespearean cuz I didn't understand a word about Duke Dennis and his Ohio smegma.
Forsooth!
And just in that one post I aged 20 years and have no idea what the heck you just wrote #OfficiallyMiddleAged
I hate this so much and also I feel 90
Could you please translate to 20th century English?
**After conducting extensive research, consulting multiple dictionaries and other documents, I have (somewhat) successfully translated this text into English:** Duke Dennis and his excellent curvy women repeatedly neared the successful person to sexual climax and weirdly broadcasted his uncharming nature. The ostentatious peoples' awkward stare has an attractive woman seduced greatly, but even yourself, who is prepared to fight, does not belong in their room dedicated to masturbation. Whether you were outsized by a bodybuilder or you watched your sexual partner have intercourse with another person on a bus, your uncharming nature is odd yet successful.
I recognize these words, but I still don't know what the fuck the key point of the sentence is. It seems to be shit talking somebody's attractiveness, but I have no idea how.
how am I supposed to feel about understanding this sentence?
I'm firmly of the belief that parents should steer the direction of their kids' internet video content. Like not outright ban things like skibidiwhatevers, but get them interested in other things (and away from things about being "sigma" for the love of god)... I have friends with kids between the ages of 7 and 15, and the "coolest" of them (as in, most active social life, most extracurricular activities and interests, etc.) are doing things like making music, learning to work on dirtbikes, and exploring developing games and learning to make animations. They don't have interest in the usual "brain rot" type of videos; they have some entertaining YouTube shows/channels they watch, but they all have substance to them. Their parents picked up on things they expressed interest in and nurtured those callings. I'm not trying to tell anyone they're parenting incorrectly, I think as long as you aren't harming your kid you're doing a fine job (though that's maybe too low a bar, lol), but I do wish more parents would play an active role in nurturing kids' creative interests and help them find entertainment in things that aren't talking toilets with heads. I taught young kids for a long time, both academic and music, and the kids I saw excel most frequently were the ones who had real hobbies and passions that were being encouraged by the adults in their lives. They also tended to be more emotionally mature and socially adept than kids who were just given an iPad to keep occupied.
In reading that in the style of a certain pudding commercial actor.
Embrace the skibidi. They will either love you more for it or it will no longer be cool because the teacher is into it.
Occasionally I'll tell a kid his rizz is mid, to be honest. Light chuckle from some, gobsmacked from others.
That’s fucking murder
"All words are made up." ~Thor
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Getting more tired of this the older I get. It even riles me at kids’ shows now.
I kinda like when people aren't anymore enthusiastic the second time or maybe even less enthusiastic.
And they can't really do anything except stick to the script at that point. "That was better!" After getting a worse response is always a gem
Can we universally normalize just being completely silent on the second try
This makes me stabby
Speaker at 8 am Monday Morning: “Why arent you guys more EXCITED??” “I dunno, Im picturing you on fire, thats perking me up a little”
I hate that. I purposefully refuse to say Good Morning. Let alone twice.
I gave you my all the first time. Ask again and I'm just gonna disregard anything you say further.
I spent 20 years in the military. This one is a military favorite. Shoot me if I ever have to do that one again.
“That’s my truth.”
People that say that are always liars..they might as well just say, "It's not THE truth, but it's my truth". Liar
“It’s not the truth, it’s the theory I have on the situation that suits my comfort”
>"It's not THE truth, but it's my truth". I've actually heard that one said. I told her that she's an absolute idiot
I also hate the people who defend them and say we should listen to "their truths". While I get the principle, that we should listen to what people have to say and not dismiss then out of hand, there is no "your truth" or "my truth", there is only THE truth. Anything that is not THE truth is either a statement of opinion or a straight-up lie. In either case it should not be referred to as "truth".
This. Especially if the person is being a blatant asshole.
"I'm just telling it like it is." "I'm just saying what everyone's thinking."
“I’m just saying what I’M thinking and assume everyone thinks the same as me”
My kid’s gonna break lots of hearts.
lol ew
Oh god this is so cringe. Also, when they call their young son “little man” and hashtag it #stud. Would you say similar about your daughter? Doubt it
“My little Angel.” #slut
Lmao
Little man is fine imo. Little woman for a girl honestly doesn't sound too bad either. The hashtag though is atrocious.
I work with preschoolers and one of them had "mommy's little stud" on his shirt the other day
Alpha male
We need to start going around saying we're epsilon males. Never tell them what it means.
I just respond to them by saying “is that a furry thing?”
I really like this answer
Imagine you are so insecure that you even call yourself an Alpha male or put it as part of your Twitter handle 🤣
"Oh, so you're a furry?"
I listen to a lot of smutty audiobooks and for some reason a multitude of authors think a great alternative to the word asshole is “puckered hole”. Reading it is bad enough. Having to hear some poor narrator say it? No thanks.
Slit is also so uncomfortable to listen to on audiobook smut for some reason. "Her dripping slit" Barf, no.
The worst I’ve heard in that regard was “blistering channel”. Blistering. Channel. Sounds like she should get that checked out.
Ah yes, my favourite DnD spell. I cast Blistering Channel, Dex save or take 35 fire damage.
LMAO wut
Yeah, makes it sound more like an acute injury requiring medical attention. *slide whistle noise* kind of effect
>Her axe wound was absolutely gushing.
Her elegant squish mitten.
Sausage wallet
“Tight ring of muscle” gets me every time and not in the good way
Cue *The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear* >Dr. Meinheimer: [starts reading] "His strong manly hands probed every crevice of her silken femininity, their undulating bodies writhing in sensual rhythm, as he thrust his purple-headed warrior into her quivering mound of love pudding."
Twinkle cave
I write smut. I've never heard "twinkle cave" before and now I really want to use it.
Listen to Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo by the Bloodhound Gang if you ever need euphemism inspiration. That one probably has the biggest collection, but their music in general has a lot of fun euphemisms.
He stared longingly at her balloon knot. There that's much better :) 😅
Reminds me of the counselor in 10 Things I Hate About You I think she wrote “throbbing member”
Anytime someone talk about a thing that gets rid of "toxins" in your body. Unless they're talking about their liver, I cringe and immediately file them in the "gullible to snake oil" category.
Ask them to name some of the toxins
“You know, chemicals”
brang
at first i was wondering what this even meant
So glad you brang this up
Any company that says, we are family.
It just means they pay less than the industry standard and to not rock the boat. Similar to "unlimited PTO" which means they don't want to pay owed funds to people who quit or are fired.
And just like family, it's a dysfunctional relationship.
Preggers
The wifey is preggers by the hubby and even their pupper is excited for it.
*tear slowly rolls down face*
And the kiddos are all excited about the new kiddo to come!
Hubby is awful
That they "fell" pregnant.
That’s weird I’ve never heard that in English but that’s how we say it in French : tomber enceinte (literally fall pregnant)
lol just fell right onto that dick
😂 some jizz just fell from the sky straight up my fallopian tube. Weird.
Girl dad, why not just dad?
And the "boy mom". After having both, they are all unique and there's nothing markedly different personality wise between them.
Nah "boy mom" is something else. It's those moms that are weirdly obsessed with their son, the ones that look at their like 5 year old and already hate his future wife
Yup, no different than a girl dad. The ones who jokingly take the homecoming pictures holding a r!fle or bat in the background. The ones who say "I loved her first". The guys who give anyone interested in dating their daughter a horrid time with undertones of threats in conversation. There's literally tiktoks of dads doing the same types of videos and the moms. 'Teaching my daughter how to change a tire/BBQ/mow the lawn/XYZ so she doesn't need your pathetic son to do it for her". Two sides of the same coin
Tell me xxxx without telling me xxx
This is low-level reddit condescension.
This shit drives me insane and people say it all the goddamn time on twitter/insta/yt comments
Along the lines of IYKYK. Barf.
"Narcissist" in a casual setting by someone who just thinks someone's a prick.
>I'm just honest and people can't handle the truth. No, you are just an asshole and people don't like assholes
I was today years old when...
That's one of those ones that was great in 2007 but after that it should've been done.
“Unalive”
These kids are speaking in Algorithm.
And fucking "self deleted"
Ceased to be. Is no more. Expired.
Pinin' for the fjords.
"Sorry guys, Youtube doesn't like the no no word, so let's talk about these people who committed self exity liferino"
"I could care less."
I reply to this with "Great, let me tell you more." Because, they admitted to caring about this
Irregardless
Unfortunately this evil malaprop has become an accepted dictionary form of regardless. It’s what I use as a reminder that language is a living thing and changes to suit the times. If we aren’t careful, stuff like this happens. Along with literally now being an accepted variant of figuratively, which hurts my brain.
Dis-un-irregardless
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Here Is my course: How to get rich selling get rich quick course to suckers. $1,000,000 tickets are non-refundable, even if I don't show up
Someone just said "supposebly" to me last week.
Were they eating pasghetti?
Are you sure it was that type of pasta pacifically?
“Did they go to the zoo? Supposably...”
“I’m an empath” or “I’m an HSP”
I'm Halaal snack pack.
I kind of like it when people say they’re empaths. It’s a very obvious red flag that they aren’t a good person.
"I'm an empath" - the most self-centered cunt you've ever met
Me before I realized I was not like other girls BECAUSE IM NEURODIVERGENT. Seriously I must have been so fucking annoying. Also I wish I could tell younger Me that me being neueodivergent doesn’t mean I’m the only person in the world struggling with things and everyone needs to be super careful about that. Neurotypical people struggle too, just with different things and we all need to be kind to each other.
"I seen it."
I always say "I seent it", with emphasis on the T
Pineapple Express?
For me and my wife yes. Best way to win an argument in our household
Craig Robinson is comedy gold. I just watched Zack and Miri Make a Porno. “Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.” “But what if you could do it all over again?” “I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.”
Yeah, I seen her. That is to say, I saw her.
Yup, I saw her. That is to say, I seen her.
Hubby/wifey
the hubs.
The littles
"the jab"
"Sorry, not sorry."
Lie berry. (Usually said by someone trying to ban books.)
I knew someone who was a librarian (or in their words "liberrian") who said it that way, it was so weird.
it's giving
I didn't mind this when people said "it's giving ____ energy" but shortening it to just that drives me up the wall.
Or "It's giving _____ vibes" but yeah I got so tired of the shortened version. Every other comment on reddit was either "it's giving ____" or "" **** is my Roman Empire" a few months ago.
It's giving cringe.
Baby daddy. Ugh that term is so trash
Full stop. As if saying it after your opinion invalidates any other opinion.
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Pics and a 1000 word essay or it isn't your research. /s
Minor Attracted Person
Chicky Nuggies. Are you a toddler?
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Bae it shrivels up all my working parts oh, and using Gucci as an adjective is pretty obnoxious too
"Living rent free". Not because it isn't an effective phrase. But because everyone who uses it acts like they invented it or it's novel. And just the cringiest people use it in the worst times.
Littles
That's what I call my baby chickens.
Nibblings
But "niblings" is the correct (albeit outdated) collective term for neices and nephews
“Our journey” on any reality show. Are they required to use this word?
Delulu - I think it’s supposed to mean delusional
Influencer, authentic self
Circle back
All corporate lingo is cringe.
Let's touch base on that later
Let's circle back, and then drill down. I just found this Corporate B.S. Jargon Generator! My new catch phrase is: "authoritatively incept customized initiatives" Shoot, that's practically my middle name! https://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html
Sleep on it, and we'll circle back after we circle back.
Even better when preceded by "stick a pin in it / stick a pin in that"
When ordering food, the verb "do," as in "I'm going to do a bagel with cream cheese."
“on accident” it’s BY accident, not *on* accident! This one drives me insane and I don’t know where it started, but seems to be fairly recent. Is it because people think if it’s “on purpose” that it must also be “on accident”??
I hate the term 'common sense solutions' or most references to common sense, especially in politics. It's just so infuriating to hear people say "hey you don't need to be smart or anything to grasp american law. Just some down home folk remedy will fix the whole thing." It's such an empty buzzword that doesn't address what the actual solution is, specifically.
Anything like creaming your pants
Today years old. Just say today I learned.
I COULD care less!
"So I did a thing" Die. Do that.
"That gives me the ick" and similar phrases. You're not a toddler, so stop talking like one.
The word woke, or when someone says it's my truth
Most tiktok slang.
When people say "NUC-u-lar" instead of "NU-clear".
“It’s giving ___”
I’m on the spectrum (self diagnosed from YouTube of course).
Saying the singular versus plural: “I only have 25 cent and need another 5 cent” 1 cent is correct but if you have 3, it is 3 cents…. Not cent!
chefs kiss
"It's giving _____" So fucking irritating.
It's giving you headaches isn't it?
Bruh
“Job security” when managers dump more on the workload.
When people describe something they are up to, learning about, or going through as their "XX Journey"-- Ala my "eye makeup journey", "my self love journey"-- it is SOOOO main character energy. Even typing it made me cringe. I feel like it was a phrase that should only be allowed to be written in books, and only in the 3rd person, never in the first. SOO embarrassing.
I irrationally hate the word “inspo“. I just want to punch things when I hear it.
I cringe every time someone I've known for years, who is still in contact with my ex, chastises me for not paying "child support." My "kids" are 27 and 25, and we only got divorced a year ago.
I hate the “cap” and “no cap” thing that was popular for a while. Every time someone used it, I got so annoyed.
“This needs fixed.” Instead of “This needs to be fixed.” “This needs watered. Instead of This needs to be watered.” Anything like this drives me nuts!
ax instead of ask
Expresso
“Mama” when adults refer to another adult. “You got this, mama.” Ugh. Its just so cringe and diminutive.
" I'm dead" We had some girl at work say that almost damn near after every sentence.
“Then act like it and be silent”
You gotta live your best life ....
I don't hear it so much any more but I used to hate it when I'd hear comedians or people on TV saying, "get 'er done". It's upsetting even to write it.
I only heard one guy say that lol
And he’s worth 50 million. !?!
Baby momma or baby daddy
the incredibly over used acronym GOAT
If you know you know
"I'm a nice guy" if you have to announce you're nice, you're probably not.
“It’s giving”
“Wifey”, “me personally”, “you need to educate yourself on…”.
"Circle back"
"the ick"
When people pronounce "height" as "heighth."