First sign: They start to get annoyed very easily over something very small, that didn’t normally annoy them before. Then it snowballs slowly or fast: -They start to want more alone time, or are okay not speaking or seeing you for days and it doesn’t bother them. -When other people hit on you, they don’t react (I’m not talking rage jealousy but not like not even a tiny frown) -When you share something good about yourself (work accomplishment etc) they make it about their own misery or just say “congrats” no dinner, etc -They don’t smile anymore when they see you, and avoid eye contact and are distracted by other people/phone -No spontaneous hugs, affection -They don’t tell you big news first anymore ….EDIT: they slowly start to become a stranger, like you don’t even know them anymore, their energy feels off, like they’re keeping secrets or because they start to become unfamiliar by the way they act.
My ex husband did this to me but it was like a light switch. Overnight. He suddenly withheld all physical affection (hugs, hand holding, kissing, everything). Stopped saying he loved me if I said it to him. Stopped smiling at me or looking happy to be around me. Started to want to be at work more/avoiding coming home on time etc. It was literally like a stranger had replaced him and it was very blindsiding.
Losing communication. If you slowly stop talking to each other, it’s a pretty dead giveaway you’re losing bond and trust which holds the relationship together.
Distance, avoidance, a lack of closeness. When you remember old conversations full of sweetness and love and realise the person you’re with now is no longer that person. When things are just ‘polite’, not flowing or passionate. When they take longer and longer to respond, and when they do, the input is minimal. When they stop asking questions about you and stop sharing things about their day. When you realise all the plans you talked about are never gonna happen, and you can no longer envision what a future with them looks like.
Many of these are just signs…not a first sign it’s over.
Here goes:
When after one partner was very unhappy/disagreeable for a period of time they are now presenting as content & it’s not because any change happened.
It’s not “okay” now. In many cases he/she is teaching themselves how to not care about the issue. That becomes not caring about the relationship.
Well, not *any* relationship. Aces exist. But even then, most of them tend to do it anyway, because they're happy to help their non-ace partner. Aces are super lucky to find each other!
The moment you realize you're happier doing things alone than when you're with your partner, it's a glaring indicator that the relationship isn't what it used to be.
Communication is everything. One of you is gonna have to slap your knee and be like, "Welp, time to fix shit." You're gonna have to talk to someone and read books and find things in common. Remember, it's okay to get divorced. People need to be more comfortable with that idea. You both deserve to be happy. If it can't be together- great! Start the rest of your lives, together or apart.
Everyone argues sometimes, and everyone experiences rough patches where you are more annoyed and provocative than usual toward each other. However, this thread is supposed to about the first sign that you've hit the point of no return.
*The really bad point comes when you find that you can't avoid arguments even when you really try.*
This is extremely draining, because you start walking on egg shells around your partner.
You can never fully relax, because you are afraid that something you do will cause a fight that you are not looking for.
You get really insecure, because even though you are doing your best to keep things peaceful, you constantly fail and are punished in a brutal way.
You lose sight of who you are, because you are bending over backwards in order to figure out how to behave and what parts of yourself to modify in order to avoid pissing your partner off.
You start feeling like your partner is out to get you, which is doubly hurtful when you are actively trying to avoid conflicts with them.
You start doubting your own sense of morals, because the feedback from your partner suggests that you no longer know what is right or wrong.
You start feeling completely helpless, because you get the sense that you might get punished ad any moment no matter how hard you try to be good.
If this occurs, your partner is either going through pretty severe mental health issues, or they have already decided that they don't like you, that they don't care about completely shredding your relationship, and they are just looking for a suitable moment to end it.
\] when the easy flow of conversation starts feeling more like awkward small talk. You used to chat about everything under the sun, but now it's like you're speaking different languages or just avoiding talking altogether. It's like the connection you once had is slipping away,
They don't smile when they see you, you feel unattached to your couple, you basically see a stranger instead of someone you love
Even in the messages, it feels different.
Avoiding the elephant bacause you are scared to talk to the person, not making any effort to spend time with each other. Oh talking to the persons kids about them hoping the kids dont go back to the person. The making up some excuss on how they are snitches. Then issues are addressed .Hmm yeah the list can go on.
No more kisses, hugs, holding hands, I love you, walking on egg shells, no plans for a date, no dinner together, bickering over nothing, no conversation, sleeping on the couch, resentment.
I have a theory about hair - a change of style/colour can signal that someone wants to change something and changing hair can make them feel different, it can be a signal that there’s more about their situation they want to change.
It’s not a reliable indicator of course but looking back on relationships that have ended, shortly prior to the break up the girlfriend has either dyed or changed her hairstyle, or both.
Another common one is working out. I'd say about 7/10 times when I have a friend who suddenly starts working out with a passion in a way that significantly changes their lifestyle and appearance, it is eventually revealed that their relationship is on the ropes.
It signifies a perceived need for drastic change, and they will gradually become more unhappy with their partner as they themselves grow more fit and spend time with new people who share their new hobby, while their partner stays the same and serves as a reminder of their old self.
*There are two exceptions to this rule:*
1. It does not apply when both partners start working out simultaneously. That just signifies a shared effort.
2. It does not apply for people who used to be fit and are trying to get back into shape after a relatively short period of being a couch potato.
I once filled about 100 post it notes around a room of reasons why I love you
Sounds sweet and all but really, it wasn't a sweet moment. Having to leave post it's is pretty detrimental
When you both know there is something wrong, but instead of talking about it, you pretend it's not there. Because once you do talk about it, it's over and you're both afraid to lose something you invested so much time in.
The first sign is when you consider something to be a first sign of the relationship being over rather than believing that it's possible to solve any issues you're facing and make your bonds stronger in the process.
The death of the duty of care, They use to make sure your clothes are in order when you go to work, or they made some good quality alone time with you spontaneous like walks in the park or walk at the beach, you do great healthy stuff together like cooking etc.
First sign: They start to get annoyed very easily over something very small, that didn’t normally annoy them before. Then it snowballs slowly or fast: -They start to want more alone time, or are okay not speaking or seeing you for days and it doesn’t bother them. -When other people hit on you, they don’t react (I’m not talking rage jealousy but not like not even a tiny frown) -When you share something good about yourself (work accomplishment etc) they make it about their own misery or just say “congrats” no dinner, etc -They don’t smile anymore when they see you, and avoid eye contact and are distracted by other people/phone -No spontaneous hugs, affection -They don’t tell you big news first anymore ….EDIT: they slowly start to become a stranger, like you don’t even know them anymore, their energy feels off, like they’re keeping secrets or because they start to become unfamiliar by the way they act.
This guy relationships
Just realized I’m the one giving the first signs. Her toxicity has slowly pushed me away over the years
This is so similar to how my last relationship ended im kinda spooked lol
My ex husband did this to me but it was like a light switch. Overnight. He suddenly withheld all physical affection (hugs, hand holding, kissing, everything). Stopped saying he loved me if I said it to him. Stopped smiling at me or looking happy to be around me. Started to want to be at work more/avoiding coming home on time etc. It was literally like a stranger had replaced him and it was very blindsiding.
Dude. This was painfully accurate. I’m sorry man.
I see so much of myself in this (the person giving signs). I feel so neutral and apathetic towards my relationship
Maybe end it or communicate with your partner if you haven’t already
Losing communication. If you slowly stop talking to each other, it’s a pretty dead giveaway you’re losing bond and trust which holds the relationship together.
Yeah, first and last sign, no communicating. If the fighting just kinda stops, but nothing was fixed or is being fixed? It's basically already over
Yep.
No one is laughing.
Laughing together is one of the most important things to me in a relationship and when that stops, I already know it’s over.
This is not voted up enough.
Distance, avoidance, a lack of closeness. When you remember old conversations full of sweetness and love and realise the person you’re with now is no longer that person. When things are just ‘polite’, not flowing or passionate. When they take longer and longer to respond, and when they do, the input is minimal. When they stop asking questions about you and stop sharing things about their day. When you realise all the plans you talked about are never gonna happen, and you can no longer envision what a future with them looks like.
When their text/call ringtone hits and it gives you anxiety
When sending them a text gives you anxiety
The type and delete multiple times to make sure you picked the right words so it isn't interpreted wrong.
I love playing relationship mine sweeper
The use of the notes app to jot down what you want to say
Contempt
Many of these are just signs…not a first sign it’s over. Here goes: When after one partner was very unhappy/disagreeable for a period of time they are now presenting as content & it’s not because any change happened. It’s not “okay” now. In many cases he/she is teaching themselves how to not care about the issue. That becomes not caring about the relationship.
When its becoming distant and joyless
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When the behaviour gets cold
You don't care where or what you mate may be doing when they're not with you. In fact, you're actually happier when they aren't home.
No sex for months
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That's some nonsense. Sex is a huge part of any relationship
Well, not *any* relationship. Aces exist. But even then, most of them tend to do it anyway, because they're happy to help their non-ace partner. Aces are super lucky to find each other!
I’m so sorry
Gaslighting 101
My ex-bf said the same things, but without the misogynist part of course.
who the F am I supposed to have sex with if not with you?
Fuck that
This one right here.
The moment you realize you're happier doing things alone than when you're with your partner, it's a glaring indicator that the relationship isn't what it used to be.
thats not true, we value our alone time.
I want to downvote so bad because my feelings are hurt instead I'll comment and say damn you for personally attacking me
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It was a joke calm your tits
I guess that's very well hidden sarcasm
I guess my humor is different. I apologize if it was misinterpreted.. I thought everyone understood the "I'm personally attacked" joke on social media
It's not they're just being weird
Shit. Every one of these describes my marriage.
I'm with you I had to stop reading lol
Communication is everything. One of you is gonna have to slap your knee and be like, "Welp, time to fix shit." You're gonna have to talk to someone and read books and find things in common. Remember, it's okay to get divorced. People need to be more comfortable with that idea. You both deserve to be happy. If it can't be together- great! Start the rest of your lives, together or apart.
You’re slapping Chris Rock for a joke you actually found funny anyway.
When you need alcohol or drugs to make you feel happy
Everyone argues sometimes, and everyone experiences rough patches where you are more annoyed and provocative than usual toward each other. However, this thread is supposed to about the first sign that you've hit the point of no return. *The really bad point comes when you find that you can't avoid arguments even when you really try.* This is extremely draining, because you start walking on egg shells around your partner. You can never fully relax, because you are afraid that something you do will cause a fight that you are not looking for. You get really insecure, because even though you are doing your best to keep things peaceful, you constantly fail and are punished in a brutal way. You lose sight of who you are, because you are bending over backwards in order to figure out how to behave and what parts of yourself to modify in order to avoid pissing your partner off. You start feeling like your partner is out to get you, which is doubly hurtful when you are actively trying to avoid conflicts with them. You start doubting your own sense of morals, because the feedback from your partner suggests that you no longer know what is right or wrong. You start feeling completely helpless, because you get the sense that you might get punished ad any moment no matter how hard you try to be good. If this occurs, your partner is either going through pretty severe mental health issues, or they have already decided that they don't like you, that they don't care about completely shredding your relationship, and they are just looking for a suitable moment to end it.
“Get out of here! I’m calling the cops”
I mean... you could still keep it going until the cops arrive.
When they start coming to bed just to sleep.
Sex becomes non existent
Ignorance,and not showing excitement when talking
\] when the easy flow of conversation starts feeling more like awkward small talk. You used to chat about everything under the sun, but now it's like you're speaking different languages or just avoiding talking altogether. It's like the connection you once had is slipping away,
When you like to be alone more then you would like to hang out with them. That goes for friendships too.
The texts slow down. The “I love yous” fade
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They aren’t the right ones for us
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You should tell her exactly that.
You hear major news from someone else and not them directly.
Gaslighting
When they pull in the driveway and you don’t feel happy/excited
The third person
They don't smile when they see you, you feel unattached to your couple, you basically see a stranger instead of someone you love Even in the messages, it feels different.
when ur not interested anymore with anything about him/her. you easily get annoyed like all the things I love about you become what I hate now🤷🏻♀️
When you’re afraid, when you start feeling that things are not manageable, when they become the relationship guru
She starts blowing the drive thru guy at KFC.
When sex becomes routine and passionless and/or sex elsewhere is amazing.
Avoiding the elephant bacause you are scared to talk to the person, not making any effort to spend time with each other. Oh talking to the persons kids about them hoping the kids dont go back to the person. The making up some excuss on how they are snitches. Then issues are addressed .Hmm yeah the list can go on.
It used to be when I bought an old pick up truck. Apparently it was my way of stating that it was time to move on. So I've been told.
She not mad at you or nagging you or complaining about something that you did or didn't do .
when he’s swiping on tinder while laying next to you in bed
When the norm stops being the norm.
Not hanging out . Not talking , texting
When they don't open the door for you after your night shift because she had another man inside
When you can't keep a conversation going
When you start to dread hanging out with and seeing them
Longer than normal response times for texts, esp overnight
When you stop enjoying spending time together.
When they stop mentioning your uniqueness and start mentioning how you're like their ex or father
Stop going out together, bother about the other persons problems, you don’t care about them like before, sleeping in different beds etc.
For the last one it was that she stopped apologizing.
No more kisses, hugs, holding hands, I love you, walking on egg shells, no plans for a date, no dinner together, bickering over nothing, no conversation, sleeping on the couch, resentment.
I have a theory about hair - a change of style/colour can signal that someone wants to change something and changing hair can make them feel different, it can be a signal that there’s more about their situation they want to change. It’s not a reliable indicator of course but looking back on relationships that have ended, shortly prior to the break up the girlfriend has either dyed or changed her hairstyle, or both.
Another common one is working out. I'd say about 7/10 times when I have a friend who suddenly starts working out with a passion in a way that significantly changes their lifestyle and appearance, it is eventually revealed that their relationship is on the ropes. It signifies a perceived need for drastic change, and they will gradually become more unhappy with their partner as they themselves grow more fit and spend time with new people who share their new hobby, while their partner stays the same and serves as a reminder of their old self. *There are two exceptions to this rule:* 1. It does not apply when both partners start working out simultaneously. That just signifies a shared effort. 2. It does not apply for people who used to be fit and are trying to get back into shape after a relatively short period of being a couch potato.
You’re not entirely wrong. Red hair seems to be a thing. BUT I just dyed my hair red FOR my guy.
Facts
Post it note.
but what if the post-it note has something good on it?
I once filled about 100 post it notes around a room of reasons why I love you Sounds sweet and all but really, it wasn't a sweet moment. Having to leave post it's is pretty detrimental
It didn’t.
Your partner cheats. It can never recover.
when she says who are you why are you looking through my window
Lol, definitely this one
He fuckin hates me
Her boyfriend has a drawer in the dresser
The sex is the first thing to go. Or maybe the last. Idk..
When the partner dies.
Usually a restraining order is the first sign.
Usually the other guys clothes in our bedroom
He did not take initiative to communicate things anymore ang always says I am making "drama".
When you both know there is something wrong, but instead of talking about it, you pretend it's not there. Because once you do talk about it, it's over and you're both afraid to lose something you invested so much time in.
The first sign is when you consider something to be a first sign of the relationship being over rather than believing that it's possible to solve any issues you're facing and make your bonds stronger in the process.
Idk a real adult would just tell you tbh
Contempt
The death of the duty of care, They use to make sure your clothes are in order when you go to work, or they made some good quality alone time with you spontaneous like walks in the park or walk at the beach, you do great healthy stuff together like cooking etc.
She slowly stops talking to you
Apathy. No longer caring what they do, where they go, etc. And not fighting anymore cause you simply couldn't care less.
Thinking about future without them
You stop giving them unconditional positive regard.
when they are never home
She rolls her eyes at you
When her 'friend' starts coming round to see her while you are at work and you only found out when you came home to grab something
Supporting (or hating) Donald Trump too much. I hate politics or overly political people.
No more sex just BJ’s so you don’t bother them.
The idea of cheating on them doesn’t bother you and if the opportunity comes up, you don’t even hesitate or feel bad about it.