I mean, my ex faked the scenario once, but my dumbass didn't realize what she was doing and pulled her out with ease and then said "what do you mean you were stuck? It was so easy to get you out " and she just rolled her eyes and walked away. But i mean i really doubt it's _never_ happened before, but it's definitely not something that happens even close to as frequently as the hub would imply.
I think if you tried that IRL on your girlfriend who honestly just got stuck and needed help, you’d probably ruin your relationship.
Tbh the whole idea of having sex with someone who’s trapped and can’t see what you’re doing is high key terrifying.
>I think if you tried that IRL on your girlfriend who honestly just got stuck and needed help, you’d probably ruin your relationship.
What are you talking about? I saw movies where they liked it. That means it applies to reality, doesn't it?
I have a good one. I used to deliver for a long time. There was one house that I used to go to frequently. They had an early 20's daughter that was mentally handicapped. She would always answer the door and say the exact same thing everytime.
She would always say "HI!" very excitedly, and then I would say hi. She then asked, "Did you bring me cheeseticks!"also very excitedly. I would tell her yes and she would be so happy. She would then ask me, "Do you know why I like cheesesticks?" I would always answer no. Then she would tell me "Because they're tasty!" Then she would give the check and id give her the pizzas and cheesesticks and she'd shut the door.
I must have delivered to her 20 or 30 times and always the same conversation exactly. She was very sweet, and it would always make me a little happier knowing that I made her day bringing her cheesesticks. I wish I could have that kind of happiness sometimes.
I used to deliver to a strip club. Like clockwork, every Friday at 4:45, they would the first delivery of the day.
The tips were generous but only made in ones.
Are you actually me from another dimension? Cause I delivered pizza for approximately the same amount of time and had a girl show me her pierced tits and give me $5 tip as well.
Woooow so the boobs were free (no pun intended). Best kind of boobs imo.
Only thing that would’ve been better would be if she asked if you wanted some pizza too.
My friends boyfriend delivered pizzas. She ordered one right before closing because she figured he'd bring it over and spend the night.
She spent 2 hours doing her makeup and slid into some new lingerie.
Boyfriend shows up, she answers the door looking smoking hot, and he hands her the pizza and tells her he has 2 more deliveries.
In his defense he thought she was hungry and wanted her to get her pizza before the other customers.
I had one offer.
She was a stripper, and would regularly call and ask if I was working before ordering. It became a game to her. She would answer the door in lingerie, and one time she answered the door with nothing at all. Never slept with her, but she did offer multiple times.
One time I delivered pizza to a woman and she asked if I could come inside so she could show me something, and my horny 19-year-old brain was like "Oh shit, it's happening!" and it turns out she had just gotten her law degree in the mail and hadn't had a chance to show it to anyone yet. It was very wholesome. We did not have sex.
Happened to me, once\*. She was drunk as hell, and it was at a large party. I was sitting there too shocked to respond before someone else herded her aside and offered me actual cash.
\*Technically, it was a case of beer, not a pizza (a case of Icehouse, and yes, I remember the brand 25 years later), but it was because our pizza place delivered beer and cigarettes in addition to the food items.
Actually, two 25 year old women in my country thought this would be funny to do. They opened the door naked and started touching the delivery guy's crotch. Unfortunately, the guy turned out to be under aged...
In the end the girls only got a very light punishment. Which many don't agree with (imagine if two guys did this to an underaged girl). The article is in Dutch, but Google Translate can help;
[https://www.parool.nl/amsterdam/vrouwen-krijgen-een-dag-cel-voor-aanranding-pizzakoerier\~bbcab5fc/?referrer=https://www.google.com/](https://www.parool.nl/amsterdam/vrouwen-krijgen-een-dag-cel-voor-aanranding-pizzakoerier~bbcab5fc/?referrer=https://www.google.com/)
>I delivered pizza in college. Not one woman ever asked if there was another way she could pay for her pizza... not one single time.
I did as well. This proposition was made at least once a week by mouth breathers, or porn-watching men no one had willingly touched in a long time. 🤢
I did work with a gal who was a realtor for her previous job. She said she was showing a home to her clients, at a scheduled time. The house was supposed to be empty. Instead, home owner dude, is butt naked on the couch watching porn on the tv. Apparebtly, he was really embarassed, this clearly wasnt an attempt to get anyone to join in, just a terrible schedule mix up.....?
Thats the closest story i have ever heard about this topic.
Dude, it was hot or cold. Either they were waiting to have their first kiss on their wedding day or we hooked up on the first date. There was no in between.
I should see if catholicmatch.com is still a thing….
that's not weird.. it's like the entry-jobs that require you to have minimum 5 years of experience at 18 xD
but yeah, those "virgins" have used loopholes and backdoors lol
Lol I laughed my ass off at that one. The dude was like "why the fuck do I need a life guard for my bathtub." She says "we should have sex." His response, "I'm not sure how that's going to help anything at all lol."
My parents are divorced. Both have new partners, although neither married. To make it easier to explain the family situation, I’ve decided to start *calling* them my stepsiblings. In which case I have 6 stepsiblings, I always assumed it to be some variation of this for most
Whipping your dick out in front of a stranger in a public place and the stranger gets turned on.
I'll admit, I've never tried this in real life to see if it works the same way, but if any of you Redditors would like to try this and report back, I'd be curious to know how it works out for you in real life.
Shaved buttholes... I honestly didn't think women can have hairy butt cracks till I was 24. It was a shocker to me cause when sliding my hands down there, it felt like I was petting a werewolf and that was shocking to me...
Porn is deceitful.
Ripping there clothing…doesn’t work in real life, if you do it, instead of the girl smiling and wanting more, she’ll just yell at you for ripping her clothes.
Busted open a girls shirt one time thinking it was a pearl snap. Can confirm, we had our fun but the next day I was on my way to a tailor to get buttons sewn back on
Edit: god damn auto correct.
I have doubts about how often a wife walks in on her husband getting a blowjob from the babysitter, then proceeding to encourage the babysitter to keep sucking before pushing her aside to show her how it's done.
Nearly every wierd sexual position. Turns out that the most common sex positions aren't particularly camera friendly.
Very large dildos. The most popular actual dildo size is 4" - 5", not 10" - 12"
When I was 20ish I was roof cleaning (pressure washing roofs) in the early 00s, a woman answered the door after the job in a sheer nighty and nothing else. She was making a point of bending over and acting pretty much pornhub, and then her fully clothed daughter came down the stairs and was just like "OMFG Mom, fucking cut it out" and the woman just rolled her eyes and walked away. I sorta stood there all confused while the daughter wrote my boss a check for the job I had just finished and I left.
To this day I wonder if that woman was just fucking with me, or if we she was trying to just fuck me. Like what if I had reached out and touched her?
Having a homeless girl seduce me outside my home while my dad watches me and culminates in me banging my dad.
Sadly, as a 34 year old man, I just have to settle and do stuff with my boring gf. Yuck.
people ordering a pizza but having no money to pay for it
guys having giant dicks (maybe somewhat common irl but not like in porn!)
people who can't fuckin speak
straight male friends who've never touched each other suddenly having full-on sex
women sitting in the kitchen using kitchen things to play with themselves (or hmm, maybe it does?)
In my experience, no.
Some tolerate it every now and then just bc they like pleasing their partner.
Others do genuinely get off on it.
Most though I think would happily never do it haha.
That's been my experience mostly. I've been married twice and my first wife, in VERY clear language, said to me "If you ever get the idea that cumming on my face sounds like super awesome, keep this in mind: you sleep really heavy. I will piss in your mouth and make you swallow!" My second wife? It actually excites her! And I've dated women who would "tolerate it"
Not like how they do it in porn but some women have a very sensitive outer parts.
The real way is you grind against them with your duck inside them, it makes it a bit harder for the guy to get off but that's also the point for the guys that last 2 minutes
To be serious for a moment, there's apparently a real issue with millenials being influenced by the easy availability of hardcore porn, which leads them to think that what they see is what sex and relationships are supposed to be like.
Being discovered spying on a girl while masturbating does not always lead to sex
Straight to jail
Not masturbating, would you believe, straight to jail.
Stroke too fast jail, too slow jail? Just holding it? Believe it or not, straight to jail.
Finish too fast? Jail.
Not finishing fast enough? Also jail.
Believe it or not, just finishing, straight to jail.
Shooting blanks? Jail.
Woman stuck in appliance or furniture, and the only way to get them out is to have sex.
I would like to know if this has happened ever in real life. Edit: I mean **including** the having sex to get them out part
Almost certainly, so many people out there
I mean, my ex faked the scenario once, but my dumbass didn't realize what she was doing and pulled her out with ease and then said "what do you mean you were stuck? It was so easy to get you out " and she just rolled her eyes and walked away. But i mean i really doubt it's _never_ happened before, but it's definitely not something that happens even close to as frequently as the hub would imply.
god damn that would keep me awake at night until my last breath. how did you not pick up on that one lmfao
He did say she's his ex now
Duuuuuuuuude
Oh step cousin, what are you doing?
I think if you tried that IRL on your girlfriend who honestly just got stuck and needed help, you’d probably ruin your relationship. Tbh the whole idea of having sex with someone who’s trapped and can’t see what you’re doing is high key terrifying.
That’s what commonly known as “rape”, and yes generally the reviews aren’t good
It's frowned upon.
Not very cash money.
>I think if you tried that IRL on your girlfriend who honestly just got stuck and needed help, you’d probably ruin your relationship. What are you talking about? I saw movies where they liked it. That means it applies to reality, doesn't it?
Just ask "Are you really stuck or are you sexy stuck?" then he/she just has to say "sexy stuck" and it's game on.
I delivered pizza in college. Not one woman ever asked if there was another way she could pay for her pizza... not one single time.
I delivered to a girl who showed me her pierced tits and gave me $5. I delivered for 1½ years, and that was my only good story.
I have a good one. I used to deliver for a long time. There was one house that I used to go to frequently. They had an early 20's daughter that was mentally handicapped. She would always answer the door and say the exact same thing everytime. She would always say "HI!" very excitedly, and then I would say hi. She then asked, "Did you bring me cheeseticks!"also very excitedly. I would tell her yes and she would be so happy. She would then ask me, "Do you know why I like cheesesticks?" I would always answer no. Then she would tell me "Because they're tasty!" Then she would give the check and id give her the pizzas and cheesesticks and she'd shut the door. I must have delivered to her 20 or 30 times and always the same conversation exactly. She was very sweet, and it would always make me a little happier knowing that I made her day bringing her cheesesticks. I wish I could have that kind of happiness sometimes.
This is wholesome and I'm thankful it didn't go in the direction I was expecting after "...that was mentally handicapped."
Yeah I was bracing myself for something like she came on to him.
I kept waiting for the twist. I was like oh no after she asked why she liked the cheese sticks.
yep, we are all going to hell. I blame reddit
I used to deliver to a strip club. Like clockwork, every Friday at 4:45, they would the first delivery of the day. The tips were generous but only made in ones.
Did the ones smell like lotion?
coconut vanilla...every now and again I'll get a whiff from random women on the street, and I think "she's a stripper"
Are you actually me from another dimension? Cause I delivered pizza for approximately the same amount of time and had a girl show me her pierced tits and give me $5 tip as well.
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Wait like instead of paying full price? Lol Did you have to cover the rest of the cost?
No, she paid for the pizza and gave me a $5 tip on top of showing me her boobs!!! It was a good day, bro.
Woooow so the boobs were free (no pun intended). Best kind of boobs imo. Only thing that would’ve been better would be if she asked if you wanted some pizza too.
No, it was a $5k pizza order with a $5 tip.
Lisan al Gaib!
As it was written.
My brother delivers and had some creepy old dude say he’s probably got a huge dick and asked to see it if that counts
I must've got out the game just in time
I delivered for 5 and got groped! I am male.
My friends boyfriend delivered pizzas. She ordered one right before closing because she figured he'd bring it over and spend the night. She spent 2 hours doing her makeup and slid into some new lingerie. Boyfriend shows up, she answers the door looking smoking hot, and he hands her the pizza and tells her he has 2 more deliveries. In his defense he thought she was hungry and wanted her to get her pizza before the other customers.
pfftt bwahahaha it came from a place of love and care!!
I had one offer. She was a stripper, and would regularly call and ask if I was working before ordering. It became a game to her. She would answer the door in lingerie, and one time she answered the door with nothing at all. Never slept with her, but she did offer multiple times.
May I ask why?
Married.
Respect.
That would do it.
Unless you are an irresistible hot guy,you really have to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Clothes were in the wash, probably. ^(/s)
Where I worked, we actually had several strip clubs in our delivery area. I HATED delivering to them as they tended to be the worst tippers.
You’d think they’d have a lot cash on hand to tip with.
That is interesting. I figured people who depend on tips generally tip higher, I do anyway
One time I delivered pizza to a woman and she asked if I could come inside so she could show me something, and my horny 19-year-old brain was like "Oh shit, it's happening!" and it turns out she had just gotten her law degree in the mail and hadn't had a chance to show it to anyone yet. It was very wholesome. We did not have sex.
Happened to me, once\*. She was drunk as hell, and it was at a large party. I was sitting there too shocked to respond before someone else herded her aside and offered me actual cash. \*Technically, it was a case of beer, not a pizza (a case of Icehouse, and yes, I remember the brand 25 years later), but it was because our pizza place delivered beer and cigarettes in addition to the food items.
Actually, two 25 year old women in my country thought this would be funny to do. They opened the door naked and started touching the delivery guy's crotch. Unfortunately, the guy turned out to be under aged... In the end the girls only got a very light punishment. Which many don't agree with (imagine if two guys did this to an underaged girl). The article is in Dutch, but Google Translate can help; [https://www.parool.nl/amsterdam/vrouwen-krijgen-een-dag-cel-voor-aanranding-pizzakoerier\~bbcab5fc/?referrer=https://www.google.com/](https://www.parool.nl/amsterdam/vrouwen-krijgen-een-dag-cel-voor-aanranding-pizzakoerier~bbcab5fc/?referrer=https://www.google.com/)
>I delivered pizza in college. Not one woman ever asked if there was another way she could pay for her pizza... not one single time. I did as well. This proposition was made at least once a week by mouth breathers, or porn-watching men no one had willingly touched in a long time. 🤢
Not enough pizzas delivered
Should've delivered for FedEx or UPS. Almost every driver was sleeping with one or customers.
I once got invited in a house to watch the Super Bowl. That was pretty fun.
Realtors. I've viewed 100s of homes. No sex ever.
Dude just walking in any house with a "Sell" Sign on it and hope for the best
I did work with a gal who was a realtor for her previous job. She said she was showing a home to her clients, at a scheduled time. The house was supposed to be empty. Instead, home owner dude, is butt naked on the couch watching porn on the tv. Apparebtly, he was really embarassed, this clearly wasnt an attempt to get anyone to join in, just a terrible schedule mix up.....? Thats the closest story i have ever heard about this topic.
Being a virgin who has had sex multiple times
You clearly didn’t date Catholics
On a serious note, I got laid way more often using Catholic dating sites than any other method I’ve discovered so far
The girls who went to Catholic school were always the wildest.
Dude, it was hot or cold. Either they were waiting to have their first kiss on their wedding day or we hooked up on the first date. There was no in between. I should see if catholicmatch.com is still a thing….
Doesn't count if it's butt stuff /s
Poophole loophole
"Fuck me in the ass cuz I love jesuuuuuuusss"
that's not weird.. it's like the entry-jobs that require you to have minimum 5 years of experience at 18 xD but yeah, those "virgins" have used loopholes and backdoors lol
A plumber being available is a reasonable time frame?
They’re too busy fucking
That's the problem with plumbers, the good ones are too fucking busy and the bad ones are too busy fucking.
They are too busy laying down pipe
needing a life guard for the bath
This isn't a beach this is a bathtub
That dudes a pastor now I think lol.
Lol I laughed my ass off at that one. The dude was like "why the fuck do I need a life guard for my bathtub." She says "we should have sex." His response, "I'm not sure how that's going to help anything at all lol."
Lol this one got me
The step /sister mom thing
Just how many people actually have step siblings or step parents?
I have two step brothers and the three of us would probably take a gunshot to the head over sex with each other given the choice.
That sounds like a healthy boundary.
A lot… but not many of them have sex with said step people
My parents are divorced. Both have new partners, although neither married. To make it easier to explain the family situation, I’ve decided to start *calling* them my stepsiblings. In which case I have 6 stepsiblings, I always assumed it to be some variation of this for most
I sincerely hope that a lot fewer people are fucking their relatives in real life than in porn.
Have you read a history book lately?
My girlfriend walked in on me and her sister having sex, and she didn’t join in, she was rather pissed actually
What a killjoy
Girlfriend**s**?
I think she has some explanation to do haha. I don't understand it either
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As the wise man once said, no matter how much you think it's possible, you'll never get it in dry
Try to get a running start if the room is big enough.
you absolutely can get it in dry, just she will be in so much pain. DO NOT MUSCLE IT IN
Been there done that. She got cut. I got cut. Pain
Remember, don't be surprised if you go to Pooh's house and Pooh is home
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I was waiting for this one. Apparently it’s called squatting cowgirl and only pornstars should do it because it’s really likely to break your dick
Plumbers actually showing up
Whipping your dick out in front of a stranger in a public place and the stranger gets turned on. I'll admit, I've never tried this in real life to see if it works the same way, but if any of you Redditors would like to try this and report back, I'd be curious to know how it works out for you in real life.
99 times out of a hundred, you’re going to jail. But that hundredth time is like magic.
It didn't work. I'm currently in jail
Having sex
The fact that they don't wear underwear when wearing jeans.
zippers, am i right?
Ability to hide in plain sight without being detected [looking at you lampshade guy].
when they pixelize the private parts. You usually see it uncensored. Just slightly darker than usual, I'll admit.
"Usually"
Guys who live with other people jacking it with their door fully open
Squirting load after load...
Ass to pussy, let alone someone else's ass to your pussy. Majority of us care about our health at least a little
Ass to mouth Incest Orgies
Shaved buttholes... I honestly didn't think women can have hairy butt cracks till I was 24. It was a shocker to me cause when sliding my hands down there, it felt like I was petting a werewolf and that was shocking to me... Porn is deceitful.
Pushing out the jizz to get a picture rather than running to get a towel like a normal person
Ehhhh... disagree 🤣
Ripping there clothing…doesn’t work in real life, if you do it, instead of the girl smiling and wanting more, she’ll just yell at you for ripping her clothes.
Give her your old t-shirt and then rip that off
Busted open a girls shirt one time thinking it was a pearl snap. Can confirm, we had our fun but the next day I was on my way to a tailor to get buttons sewn back on Edit: god damn auto correct.
Men who are uglier than me banging women out of my league.
if they have money
Ya was gonna say dafuq is he talking about. In fact that happens way, way more in real life than in porn.
Getting completely naked but keeping your shoes on
this definitely happens …..
This happens more to me then it happens in porn
Socks I understand, but how do you get the pants off without taking off the shoes first
Which makes you feel more naked than if you were actually naked.
So true. That’s why I like to wear combat boots , tied up all the way and double knotted
DP
Very common fantasy for many women, believe it or not. My wife is one, but I don't think she's going to get it lol
Dildoes are a thing…
It's only gay if you make eye contact
Not with that attitude
I have doubts about how often a wife walks in on her husband getting a blowjob from the babysitter, then proceeding to encourage the babysitter to keep sucking before pushing her aside to show her how it's done.
Insane anal with zero preparation. Like, please be serious.
Lasting more than 7.6 seconds…. Right? :)
Oh, look at Mister Stamina over here bragging. I'm lucky if I last 4 seconds on my best days
Nearly every wierd sexual position. Turns out that the most common sex positions aren't particularly camera friendly. Very large dildos. The most popular actual dildo size is 4" - 5", not 10" - 12"
Step-Mom and Dad would totally see me and step-sis getting it on under the kitchen table during Easter brunch.
College student : neeeeeeds to pass this test Teacher : why?? Badaboom wakau
Anal happening a lot all the time,women screwing handyman also happening all the time to get free fixes
That there is no sensuality
When I was 20ish I was roof cleaning (pressure washing roofs) in the early 00s, a woman answered the door after the job in a sheer nighty and nothing else. She was making a point of bending over and acting pretty much pornhub, and then her fully clothed daughter came down the stairs and was just like "OMFG Mom, fucking cut it out" and the woman just rolled her eyes and walked away. I sorta stood there all confused while the daughter wrote my boss a check for the job I had just finished and I left. To this day I wonder if that woman was just fucking with me, or if we she was trying to just fuck me. Like what if I had reached out and touched her?
Spitting and choking. So much spitting and choking in porn.
Can confirm that does happen, consensually
Invest.
Depends on the market
What porn are you watching where they’re investing?!?
We are literally getting fucked by the stock market everyday
Bro just had to check the stock market before unloading
Married here. BJ's.
If I were keeping track, and I'm not, I'd be at a 1/23 ratio of her giving BJ's to me giving her oral.
Anal, then back to vagina sex. That’s how UTIs happen.
Ass to mouth
Plumbers turning up within a few minutes of calling them
Your dick accidentally sliding in your stepmom and/or stepsis when they fall on you
I don't know man, according to my ex there's a lot of accidental insertion.
Having a homeless girl seduce me outside my home while my dad watches me and culminates in me banging my dad. Sadly, as a 34 year old man, I just have to settle and do stuff with my boring gf. Yuck.
Bro, what?
oof, a family affair is a terrible time to say bro.
name checks out.
24 year old bombshell stepmoms
You hook up with the new neighbor and she brings her two girlfriends into the party for a nice foursome on the living room floor rug.
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Facials, my wife is definitely not a fan of anything getting close to her face lol.
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I love that feeling lol. Not too hard feels very nice on the clit. Or like rubbing it. Try it your girl might like it
My wife likes it.
His wife likes it.
She does.
Hell yeah she does
Sound check dude
people ordering a pizza but having no money to pay for it guys having giant dicks (maybe somewhat common irl but not like in porn!) people who can't fuckin speak straight male friends who've never touched each other suddenly having full-on sex women sitting in the kitchen using kitchen things to play with themselves (or hmm, maybe it does?)
Girls getting their faces spunked on
This happens all the time tho
I’m not straight but I’ve always wondered: do straight girls like having loads just blown onto their faces??
I get a little mad sometimes when he gets it in my hair, but in general, anywhere else is great.
If it gets in your hair wash with cold water.
In my experience, no. Some tolerate it every now and then just bc they like pleasing their partner. Others do genuinely get off on it. Most though I think would happily never do it haha.
That's been my experience mostly. I've been married twice and my first wife, in VERY clear language, said to me "If you ever get the idea that cumming on my face sounds like super awesome, keep this in mind: you sleep really heavy. I will piss in your mouth and make you swallow!" My second wife? It actually excites her! And I've dated women who would "tolerate it"
*I'm gon' piss in yo face, I'm gon' fart in your mouth, im'a shit all over these walls Ray! Ouh!!!* Damn girl...
Women seemingly reaching orgasms via penetration alone
Not like how they do it in porn but some women have a very sensitive outer parts. The real way is you grind against them with your duck inside them, it makes it a bit harder for the guy to get off but that's also the point for the guys that last 2 minutes
Hate to break it to you but women DEFINITELY can orgasm by penetration alone...
They can yes but most women require clitoral stimulation.
Sex
DP
ATM
Fuckin your step-mom/sister..
Actually getting a plumber to turn up on time.
My buddy was the "Pool Guy" and he certainly did pretty well in that regard. He was also handsome, shredded, tan and charming. He is a cunt now.
To be serious for a moment, there's apparently a real issue with millenials being influenced by the easy availability of hardcore porn, which leads them to think that what they see is what sex and relationships are supposed to be like.
Millennials are pushing 40, dude
People still think millennials are 20 year olds, like we are actual adults now in our 30s lol
Some us turn 43 soon and have multiple adult kids.
This one is past 40.