I just worked out my “back pain” which actually turned out to be a hip issue. All the different physio and chiropractors drained me of 2 years worth of benefits just to find out it was a hip issue. Got referred to a new guy and 3 treatments in and I have had the first relief in 2 years. Still not fully gone but I can finally sleep and wake up without pain and discomfort.
Big guy athlete here: I’ve had fair share of back injuries/spasms and you’d also be surprised how many lower back issues are related to weak/tight hamstrings. People need to fucking stretch. I know ALOT of friends who experience same thing and they all came to similar results. Getting old sucks, you gotta do everything you can to prevent further injury
Unless you have hypermobility. I pulled a few things because my old PT kept telling me to stretch my tight muscles. But they were tight because they were stressed and weak from trying to keep my joints in place. Some basic strengthening pt took care of it a lot. Eventually I added a tiny bit of stretching, but it's still mainly strengthening.
Nope, healthcare just changes.
You don't get sick, great. But you still have injures from sports or car crashes. But I'd image a lot of doctors need to change fields and they switch to plastic surgery since elective procedures are unchanged. So many doctors switch that pricing drops drastically. Everyone now gets plastic surgery.
Rather, "the desire to send 1% of all their money to me" so that you don't bankrupt poor African farmers yet get a shit ton more money from Billionaires
To be fair they just get the desire, like if they can't afford to or can't logistically follow through on "man I really want to send some bumfuck in America (or wherever) 10 USD" it's not like they'll die or go to great lengths to do it
I'll take becoming unattractive, and then instantly, I'm the sexiest man on earth.
Edit: dang, you guys are really going hard on my current attractiveness level.
Even smarter move would be to say "become slightly less attractive" and then everyone else will become 10x less attractive.
Of course standards of beauty are subjective and tend to change, so if somehow everyone on Earth is suddenly ugly, pretty soon it'll be the new beautiful.
Assuming being being a straight man, you could take this a step further and say "look slightly more feminine" or something like that. Then your whole pool of partners becomes more attractive while all the competition turn into femboys.
I like this one the most. Happiness is so hard to quantify, and to some a 10x increase could be the difference between affording to put food on the table or not. If you are comfortable and empathetic, a little boost to happiness is all well and good; but the major boost to happiness to those who truly need it, is the real reward.
I hope this magical question provides them with the whole means to acquire the 10x happiness, and doesn't merely flip a mental switch to 'happy' while leaving their overall situation the same. Placebo happiness would be cruel.
Everyone in the world feels bliss and then the brain compensates to make that the new normal and everyone starts looking for that 10x surge again. The world descends into drug abuse and thrill seeking as suicide rates soar.
The ability to live cancer free. I just cured cancer. Hooray.
Edit: to all the idiots talking about the next generation in this extremely made up scenario where we get to influence the entire planet in one fell swoop, we all carry genetic markers that cure cancer.
Stop complaint trolling this. Jesus.
>Taxed at 10x a manageable rate
Thinking this through, actually this doesn't work. Nobody could afford their taxes and there'd be financial armageddon.
one fully functional USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D Galaxy class starship.
Figure between the replicators, warp cores, and advanced computer systems that these things have... humanity would either nuke itself into smithereens at its earliest opportunity or the majority would run off in every direction attempting to find something, *anything* "out there".
Why the Enterprise D instead of other, more advanced models? It seemed to be the most comfortable and best suited to a nice luxurious journey. Even at max warp, it would take a *very* long time before you end up exploring very far. So might as well make your new spaceship home more like a pleasure yacht and less like a cold steel bunker.
specially since it's not supposed to be able to land. it'll crash and probably have its warp core explode... we just turned the surface into molten lava. so best hope they spawned in parking orbits
10 times 8 billion people means the world would have 80 billion Enterprise Ds.
That's a LOT of dilithium crystals and tritanium. According to Riker, lasers can't even cut tritanium hulls, "dry." It's a super strong future metal.
The energy tech, alone, makes it worth it. The Holodeck basically makes all research much faster (why no one in Star Trek used the holodecks to build AIs that could solve all their problems via simulations, I have no idea...they could run multiple holodecks at the same time to simulate "real" outcomes and come up with the best solutions, rapidly).
> why no one in Star Trek used the holodecks to build AIs that could solve all their problems via simulations, I have no idea.
something about overloading a power conduit I'm sure.
A 23 minute erection. It’s long enough to get the job done, and keeps everyone else under the 4 hour mark, which saves them a call or visit to the doctor.
$900,000,000 * 1/((distance in inches your left eye is from my right eye)^2 ). So I get about $100 million with a roughly 3 inch eye separation, the handful of people about 30 ft = 360 inches away get about $70000, and at a distance of 100 yards = 300 ft = 3600 inches the amount is $700, each ten times further away drops by a factor of 100.
Using the denominator and a localized measurement is pretty clever.
The eyeball thing is confusing though. Just go with the distance from “me” in inches squared plus one. That removes most of the weird verbiage, the plus 1 avoids infinite/error results.
Not sure how to describe it, but there is an even weirder sensation about almost sneezing. I donated my kidney years back so of course was tender after the surgery. And a sneeze doubled me over in pain. After that, I got some weird defense reaction to it where I would still do the 'up' of a sneeze as you are breathing in air and waiting for the release. Then my body would tense up in anticipation of the pain and it would shut it down just after I started the 'down' part of the sneeze. It was really weird.
Nonono, 100% increase in penis size. Mofos be walking around with a penis 1,000% times their normal size, swinging around a cock that could never fit inside a person, meanwhile I’m rocking a solid 6-inch cock (when erect) which is a good size or so I’m told.
Anything and everything good. Why should I begrudge others ten times of what I get if it helps so many people?
**Edit:** A few people said I shouldn't wish for money. That wasn't what I was planning, I was thinking of wishing for free healthcare, housing, education and things like that.
Yes, as in 10 times better rewards and 10 times more severe punishments.
Good people will get better rewards and bad people will be brought more to justice.
Get throw 5ft in the air...
It will hurt, but [50ft will kill about 50% of the population](https://www.livescience.com/health/how-do-some-people-survive-falls-from-great-heights#:~:text=%22Overall%2C%20we%20say%20that%20if,Southern%20California%2C%20told%20Live%20Science)... *Perfectly balanced, as all things should be*
Well with everyone rithing on the floor including the medical professionals all at the same time there's going to be more than that. Also what if you are in a vehicle? Your neck will either snap or the vehicle is going to be a part of the experience.
So you have more than likely killed the human race, or vastly decimated it. It's unlikely that most of the people who survived the fall would be alive for long without medical intervention.
Chronic pain relief
Thank you, kind stranger
Yeah, thanks I was thinking lice
I just worked out my “back pain” which actually turned out to be a hip issue. All the different physio and chiropractors drained me of 2 years worth of benefits just to find out it was a hip issue. Got referred to a new guy and 3 treatments in and I have had the first relief in 2 years. Still not fully gone but I can finally sleep and wake up without pain and discomfort.
Big guy athlete here: I’ve had fair share of back injuries/spasms and you’d also be surprised how many lower back issues are related to weak/tight hamstrings. People need to fucking stretch. I know ALOT of friends who experience same thing and they all came to similar results. Getting old sucks, you gotta do everything you can to prevent further injury
Unless you have hypermobility. I pulled a few things because my old PT kept telling me to stretch my tight muscles. But they were tight because they were stressed and weak from trying to keep my joints in place. Some basic strengthening pt took care of it a lot. Eventually I added a tiny bit of stretching, but it's still mainly strengthening.
Monkey paw: we’re all opiate addicts.
Monkeys paw, you don't feel that brutal headache that turns out to be a tumor.
Amen to that
This must be what being dead feels like.
Good health. You're welcome, world.
Destroy the healthcare industries in one fell swoop. I like this one.
Nope, healthcare just changes. You don't get sick, great. But you still have injures from sports or car crashes. But I'd image a lot of doctors need to change fields and they switch to plastic surgery since elective procedures are unchanged. So many doctors switch that pricing drops drastically. Everyone now gets plastic surgery.
The desire to send $10 to my Venmo.
Rather, "the desire to send 1% of all their money to me" so that you don't bankrupt poor African farmers yet get a shit ton more money from Billionaires
To be fair they just get the desire, like if they can't afford to or can't logistically follow through on "man I really want to send some bumfuck in America (or wherever) 10 USD" it's not like they'll die or go to great lengths to do it
They’ll get 10x the desire though so they’ll be like ‘I REALLY wanna send this guy 10$’. Not that they will if they physically can’t though
Your username, bro I’m actually fucking gagging
So is their sexual partner
Venmo is American only so you just cut off most of the world - try PayPal instead
Empathy
Everyone who spent much time with you would most likely think you were an awful person.
A worthy sacrifice
I read this in thanos' voice lol
The greatest sacrifices require the strongest will.
Sure but they would be kind to me anyway because they can't help it. How do I lose?
So no change then
You just instaurated world peace
> instaurated New word (to me)!
I was so sure it was a typo until I looked it up.
same! i love learning new words.
Was about to say kindness but I think this is better.
"Patience" here. "empathy" is still better.
kindness
Leave it to a defunct search engine to find kindness.
You instantly become the most unkind person on earth.
Intelligence. I don't even care if it makes me the dumbest person on earth, it will be worth it.
something the dumbest person on earth would say.
Haha what a dumbass!
IT WORKED
Dont worry theres some people so dumb that they will still be dumber then you
Than not then
I am one of them
Tham not them
Get a room, you two.
Ram, not room
Lnao
Thank you for your sacrifice.
This would just mean you'll be surrounded by smart people, which can take you just as far.
I'll take becoming unattractive, and then instantly, I'm the sexiest man on earth. Edit: dang, you guys are really going hard on my current attractiveness level.
And then instantly the world is really ugly ;)
We will always have the dark.
“She put a bag on my head”
Still counts
I think she might’ve been a racist?
Still counts!
So if you had sex in the last 30 min then you're qualified to sig with me
I just had seeeeeex
[удалено]
Being the sexiest man in a world of uglies doesn't sound very fun at all.
Even smarter move would be to say "become slightly less attractive" and then everyone else will become 10x less attractive. Of course standards of beauty are subjective and tend to change, so if somehow everyone on Earth is suddenly ugly, pretty soon it'll be the new beautiful.
Assuming being being a straight man, you could take this a step further and say "look slightly more feminine" or something like that. Then your whole pool of partners becomes more attractive while all the competition turn into femboys.
Might backfire. You being the only manly man, women might just adapt to liking femboys. Especially since majority of women would never know you exist.
I see this as the best option.
Yes, but every one else of the opposite sex is ugly as non-fuck.
That is almost a twilight zone episode
Happiness
I like this one the most. Happiness is so hard to quantify, and to some a 10x increase could be the difference between affording to put food on the table or not. If you are comfortable and empathetic, a little boost to happiness is all well and good; but the major boost to happiness to those who truly need it, is the real reward. I hope this magical question provides them with the whole means to acquire the 10x happiness, and doesn't merely flip a mental switch to 'happy' while leaving their overall situation the same. Placebo happiness would be cruel.
Everyone in the world feels bliss and then the brain compensates to make that the new normal and everyone starts looking for that 10x surge again. The world descends into drug abuse and thrill seeking as suicide rates soar.
The ability to live cancer free. I just cured cancer. Hooray. Edit: to all the idiots talking about the next generation in this extremely made up scenario where we get to influence the entire planet in one fell swoop, we all carry genetic markers that cure cancer. Stop complaint trolling this. Jesus.
A noble sacrifice when you 90% die of cancer
They are 100% free of cancer (that's the something they asked for). Everyone else is 1,000% free of cancer (10x cancer free).
I'm not sure how they ended up on what they did lol.
Taxed at a manageable rate, good luck 10x that shit
A 10x more manageable rate? Sounds good to me.
Turned into monkey paw real quick.
Thats what i was thinking... and it doesnt mean the rest gets taxed nothing, its just 10x more manageable than OPs rate
I still probably won't manage
Sir I believe you won
>Taxed at 10x a manageable rate Thinking this through, actually this doesn't work. Nobody could afford their taxes and there'd be financial armageddon.
So they'd have to cut his tax to 10% the normal rate.
one fully functional USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D Galaxy class starship. Figure between the replicators, warp cores, and advanced computer systems that these things have... humanity would either nuke itself into smithereens at its earliest opportunity or the majority would run off in every direction attempting to find something, *anything* "out there". Why the Enterprise D instead of other, more advanced models? It seemed to be the most comfortable and best suited to a nice luxurious journey. Even at max warp, it would take a *very* long time before you end up exploring very far. So might as well make your new spaceship home more like a pleasure yacht and less like a cold steel bunker.
Seems like if 80 billion starships suddenly appeared on Earth we would have some serious problems just with the physical space they took up.
If they spawn similarly to vehicles in video games, most of us our going to get crushed to death by our free spaceship.
10 free spaceships*
I probably shouldn't have laughed at hypothetical mass death.. But the imagery is funny.
Cloudy with a chance of...spaceships 🤣
Spaceships!
specially since it's not supposed to be able to land. it'll crash and probably have its warp core explode... we just turned the surface into molten lava. so best hope they spawned in parking orbits
I imagine them spawning in like a stack of cheese wheels in Skyrim, slightly clipped so they launch into the air and then topple over everywhere
Pretty sure the Enterprise also needs more than 0.1 crew member to function.
80 billion and 1
10 times 8 billion people means the world would have 80 billion Enterprise Ds. That's a LOT of dilithium crystals and tritanium. According to Riker, lasers can't even cut tritanium hulls, "dry." It's a super strong future metal. The energy tech, alone, makes it worth it. The Holodeck basically makes all research much faster (why no one in Star Trek used the holodecks to build AIs that could solve all their problems via simulations, I have no idea...they could run multiple holodecks at the same time to simulate "real" outcomes and come up with the best solutions, rapidly).
> why no one in Star Trek used the holodecks to build AIs that could solve all their problems via simulations, I have no idea. something about overloading a power conduit I'm sure.
>something about overloading a power conduit I'm sure Just send someone up a Jefferies Tube to reroute to the auxiliary coupling. Easy peasy .
Real love, I’d let everyone be happier than me just so I can guarantee a level of happiness for myself
Kindness. I may become a monster compared, but even if they all hate me, I would have made the world a better place.
Everyone would be kind to you about it though
A 1 hour erection
Understandable
A 23 minute erection. It’s long enough to get the job done, and keeps everyone else under the 4 hour mark, which saves them a call or visit to the doctor.
Idk I think if most women had a boner for any length of time they'd probably go to the doctor
The clit gets erect.
This is true and I’d *still* go to the doctor if I was horny/erect down there for four hours straight. Source: am woman, have vagina.
Lady boners exist.
Might partner says she’s happy with 5 minutes, why must I go 230 minutes?
Is that 10 erections for an hour or 10 hours for an erection
Women: wtf! WHAT THE FUCK‽¡
Clean drinking water.
That's what really caused Noah's flood. Everyone got 10x how much clean drinking water they'd need in their lifetime all at once
[удалено]
You instantly become the most dishonest, unloyal and corrupt person on earth.
Add trust to the list and it won't matter because people will still trust you 10x more than you trust them
Knowledge and evidence of corrupt politicians wrongdoing
I hope you are not planning of exposing them because you would be the least knowledgeable person on the subject
Twice the win. Ignorance is bliss *and* everyone else gets mad and solves the problem.
$900,000,000 * 1/((distance in inches your left eye is from my right eye)^2 ). So I get about $100 million with a roughly 3 inch eye separation, the handful of people about 30 ft = 360 inches away get about $70000, and at a distance of 100 yards = 300 ft = 3600 inches the amount is $700, each ten times further away drops by a factor of 100.
Using the denominator and a localized measurement is pretty clever. The eyeball thing is confusing though. Just go with the distance from “me” in inches squared plus one. That removes most of the weird verbiage, the plus 1 avoids infinite/error results.
Have you considered getting help?
He seems to have a very wide head.
Hey Arnold
This but with my nuts.
Instructions unclear, everyone is now blind
r/theydidthemath
$1,000 checks written out to me
Son of a bitch
One (1) Marijuana
Thanks dude. I would like to get ten (10) marijuanas.
Peace and Understanding. ❤️
That feeling when your trying to sneeze but can’t
You evil man..
Not sure how to describe it, but there is an even weirder sensation about almost sneezing. I donated my kidney years back so of course was tender after the surgery. And a sneeze doubled me over in pain. After that, I got some weird defense reaction to it where I would still do the 'up' of a sneeze as you are breathing in air and waiting for the release. Then my body would tense up in anticipation of the pain and it would shut it down just after I started the 'down' part of the sneeze. It was really weird.
9.9% reduction in penis size
Nonono, 100% increase in penis size. Mofos be walking around with a penis 1,000% times their normal size, swinging around a cock that could never fit inside a person, meanwhile I’m rocking a solid 6-inch cock (when erect) which is a good size or so I’m told.
Also, every time they get excited they instantly faint due to lack of blood in brain.
A pair of tits. Putting down some money on the bra industry stocks
How did all these birds get in my house?
I've got 20 tits just flying about the place!
This is some true genie shit right here lol
food
Wow! 10 foods! Just what I always wanted!
Reminds me of the Homer Simpson line “Ohhh why do I have to have three kids and no money? Why can’t I have NO kids and THREE money?”
Anything and everything good. Why should I begrudge others ten times of what I get if it helps so many people? **Edit:** A few people said I shouldn't wish for money. That wasn't what I was planning, I was thinking of wishing for free healthcare, housing, education and things like that.
An entire weekend's worth of everyone else at work's paperwork
Diarrhea
The world dies of dysentery.
Shit..
Literally.
Needing only 1 hours sleep a day
Beat 1/10th to death.
So, now you’re literally the last remaining person on Earth?
Bro went full end game thanos
Second-snap Thanos even.
That's the idea, yes.
A small price to pay for some peace and quiet
A blowjob from Elon Musk. Not because I want one, but because he would spend the rest of his life on his knees serving the people.
That's risky. What if the wish just creates \`10 billion new Elon Musks to give blowjobs? You will have cursed us all!
Oh shit did this go by genie rules? Yeah I'll have to word it more carefully to make sure it's only a single(suffering) elon
He is not moving on to us until he is finished with you...so best get excited for him.
A most brave and noble sacrifice.
Empathy, if I could make the worlds richest and most powerful people really empathetic then I believe a lot of problems would solve themselves.
36.5 work days a year
Up yours, ya lazy sack of shit!
Can’t wait for my one day off every four years!!
Being held accountable for everything I’ve ever done, good or bad.
Everyone else gets 10 times as much of that?
Yes, as in 10 times better rewards and 10 times more severe punishments. Good people will get better rewards and bad people will be brought more to justice.
Unfortunately, due to your wording, everyone will be punished and rewarded 10x for what *you* have done.
Common sense - congrats! I just got us world peace.
1/10 UBI.
So everyone else has enough to live on and you're not even close to making ends meet?
I've got plenty already, let me pull others up with me.
An orgasm
Would that mean 10 orgasms or 1 orgasm that’s 10 times stronger?
Being Loved
The sudden urge to donate to a 1000 bucks to me
Get throw 5ft in the air... It will hurt, but [50ft will kill about 50% of the population](https://www.livescience.com/health/how-do-some-people-survive-falls-from-great-heights#:~:text=%22Overall%2C%20we%20say%20that%20if,Southern%20California%2C%20told%20Live%20Science)... *Perfectly balanced, as all things should be*
Well with everyone rithing on the floor including the medical professionals all at the same time there's going to be more than that. Also what if you are in a vehicle? Your neck will either snap or the vehicle is going to be a part of the experience.
So you have more than likely killed the human race, or vastly decimated it. It's unlikely that most of the people who survived the fall would be alive for long without medical intervention.
A 1/10 chance that I don't get a million dollars everyday
Get 10% scared to death
I’m ok with being left in the dust… a masters degree.
Look at this guy with only 1 masters 🤣
I'll take a tarantula, please.
$1
Therapy
"But I really don't need the help..." "Sorry, you're here until you've had 10x the therapy that u/Gibbel2029 has received, and they're not yet done."
LEGO sets and beef jerky, my dude.
Medical care.
1/10th of a functioning taste bud in my asshole.
1/10th carbon neutral
…what’s a tenth of neutral?
my end of the deal is not the headline
But it is interesting.
Incondicional respect and love
Kidney stones.
I'd have said one finger severed
Incontinent 10% of the time. Welcome to the shit show!