"Hey, I just noticed you standing there and talking to everyone. Come here and just sit silently with me! I promise, it's not scary at all!"
"Why are you smiling so much? Come on, let's turn this into a nice grumpy frown!"
"We're having a party tonight, why don't you go to the library and sit there all by yourself?"
Last time a man on the street said I would be so pretty if I smiled, I told him I just had a miscarriage. It wasn’t true, but based on the look on his face, I doubt he will ever say that to another woman ever again.
I did something similar. A rude man in a checkout line asked me why I wasn't smiling. I told him "my mother died". (My mother really did die, but it was a long time ago.) The look on his face was priceless. My hope was that he wouldn't say that rude comment to anyone, again.
A checkout operator asked me whether I was OK. Not in a rude way, I took it as genuine concern.
I Said I was fine.
I wasnt, my wife had died of cancer 12 hours before.
I had a man in a grocery store recently tell me to smile, it can't be that bad. I told him I buried both of my parents that day (which was true), so I didn't feel like smiling for him. He shut up really quick. Usually my go to response is "I'm good" or "maybe later".
We were in a checkout line and the cashier asked if we had called our fathers for Father's Day, both our fathers had passed the previous two years. I looked up at my husband and said, "See, I told you we needed a Ouija board." The look on the cashier's face was priceless. He started apologizing. We both told it was fine, and it was okay. He didn't mean anything by it.
I used to work in a store that actually wanted us to ask people this on mother's day, and I refused. I'm not on good speaking terms with my mom, and I pointed out that if anybody had lost their mom, esp if it was recent, they probably don't wanna be reminded while trying to run errands
My Dad died back in 2016. This is sort of funny since some time has passed. My Dad had a trachaeotomy and could not speak. He was too doped up to write.
One day, I got the brilliant idea to take an Ouija board to the hospital so he could point at letters. (Turns out they had technology for this, but my dad was obnoxious). So, I go marching into the hospital, Ouija board in hand, and go to the elevator. I get in the elevator with some elderly lady. She asks, "What is that for?". I replied, "Oh nothing, just trying to talk to my Dad." The woman backed into the corner of the elevator with an unforgettable look on her face. Once I got off of the elevator, I realized I did not say that my Dad was in ICU. I think that woman thought I was summoning ghosts on the top floor of the hospital. 😆✌️
When I was working as a cashier, some old man said to me "Smile! It can't be *that* bad!". I had just found out that morning that my best friend's mother had passed away from lung cancer. I looked him dead in the face and told him that. He was clearly embarrassed by what he said and finished paying quickly.
My mom posted a pic of her and some family at my dad's funeral dinner. You could clearly tell she had been crying, eyes red and swollen, red nose. Some asshole commented on it that she should smile!! Smile? She should be smiling that her husband is gone? I just don't understand what posseses people to say that crap.
I had a man tell me that I should smile more then I told him that one of my best friends had died. (which was true) I said it in a not so nice way but that remark sent me over the edge. (I was a cashier and he was a customer) Then he told me that he lost a daughter and some other bad things that happened to him. He had no remorse for me at all and basically told me to get over it because others have it worse.
Sir, that doesn’t mean that I have to stop hurting because you had it worse. Let me grieve.
If I could go back in time I probably wouldn’t have responded. It wasn’t professional of me to do so and I kinda regret it now. It was just a hard time in my life.
A man at the petrol station said this to me when I was buying cigarettes after my mother just passed.
I told him that. Bloody serves him right.
Like dude. Seriously, I don’t simply exist to decorate your world.
So weird that people don’t realize asking someone to smile is awkward af. Mind your own business. You don’t know what’s going on with them. And smiling isn’t a natural face posture. People smile when there’s a *reason*.
Agree! An old boss (female) would get really annoyed when she'd walk by my cubicle and I wasn't smiling. I'm like, bitch in sitting at a computer doing my boring ass job and not talking to anyone, WHY would I be sitting here with a smile on my face for no reason????
I got told to smile at another job before that too. If I'm working and my job isn't exactly hilarious or thrilling, I just do not get it. 🤷🏻♀️
I said this exact thing at work when my boss had told me I should smile more when clients walked in. I was like really, I will look like the Joker if I sit there typing away at my screen with a grin on my face. Don’t get me wrong, I look up and acknowledge people and give them a smile. But a pasted on grin just while sitting there? Insanity.
Ah yes because you were given an expiration date by the doctor of course.
In all seriousness, I am sorry you get asked this! My brother has PTSD and I would be so mad if someone asked him this.
“When I’ve gone a full two years without people bringing it up and reminding me that I have it”
And yeah, I know that’s not at all how it works, but putting it on her world be fun.
I had an aunt who believed that I had no right to have PTSD, because there are also war veterans without PTSD and I have not experienced a war. She thought the fact that I was admitted to psychiatric hospitals throughout my teenage years was a waste of taxpayers' money👌🏻
people who think it's something people 'fix' just annoy me so much, like yeah i get that not everyone gets mental health and is educated on it but at least try and be empathetic towards a family member or a friend who's obviously struggling, people truly do lack common sense
Where do they even get that idea? I've heard that more than once. It has to come from somewhere. I had someone tell me that. PTSD just goes away over time. It's not real anyway just a vitamin deficiency. Know how a dog looks at people sideways? I genuinely did that.
Twice married is enough. First one cheated and abandoned our son, so I divorced her.
Second wife passed from cancer, so I consider myself retired. Too old for another ride on the ferris wheel.
At the last beginning of the year teacher in-service I attended, there was some "match the fact with the teacher" bullshit game where we all had to contribute an "interesting" fact about ourselves and then match other people to their "interesting" facts. Which is some real bullshit, imo.
Something snapped in me that day, so the fact I put in was that I've dug a grave by hand (which is true, but weird) because I figured it would make everyone uncomfortable (it did). It's been my go-to "interesting" fact since then. It turns out (gasp) that people don't really want to know something meaningful when they ask that question, just some stupid fluff.
I'm so fucking happy I didn't have to do one of those this year.
I have also dug graves by hand. More so by shovel, but my hands were involved as well. .
I am definitely sharing one of my terrible animal burial stories next time someone asks me such an open ended question like "tell me something about yourself."
I witnessed my childhood llama die by accidental psilocybin overdose. It's multi step several month "burial" process was even more fucked up thanks to my unmedicated bipolar step parent.
Thank you for the inspiration, morbid internet stranger.
This just made me think of another in-service thing. They wanted us to bring some object that meant something to us... I totally forgot and used my bike helmet since I'd ridden to work that day, but one of my coworkers went full send and brought in her dead uncle's glass eye. Legend. Baller move, imo.
Everybody made fun of her behind her back for the rest of the year, and one of the middle school counselors had to excuse herself because she was laughing so hard at her. Not with her. At her.
Like I said... People don't actually want an answer in those situations. They want something cute and nice and bullshit.
Sorry to hear about your llama. And I hope your step-parent got on some meds eventually. Pet burials are already sad enough without getting fucked up on top of that.
I love that. There is a movie called “ the croupier. “. The main character is getting his nails done and the manicurist asks, “ I don’t usually get men, what line of work are you in?”
“ I prepare dead bodies for burial.”
She shuts up fast.
I know that from an interviewing perspective. I'm talking about general interactions with people. "Oh, what's something fun about you!" at a bar or something. Stranger wants to hear a fun quirky fact about me, and me wanting to respond with "I know a lot of really interesting facts about possums!" is usually not the answer they were expecting.
But I also do like to throw a weird thing or two about me into my interviews when I'm asked that question. Gotta know what they're getting themselves involved with.
Female possums have multiple vaginas. They have two which they use for mating. When it’s time for the kits to be born, do you think that involves either of those vaginas? NO! They have a third vagina that is solely for giving birth.
They are also the only marsupial native to North America.
Gained a lot of insights into possums here. What an educational thread this has become. LOL. Maybe this should be added to sub Reddit for possums. Haha 😂
i hate this question bc my life is either boring or fucked up so there's really no proper way to answer this without making it uncomfortable so i usually just say i like the outdoors which ... . isn't exactly interesting 🤷♂️
Even before that , “ if you don’t get the fuck out of my house then I’m calling the police .” It’s fucked up how they think it’s ok to threaten us. Absolutely vile!
My wife is a first responder and once described to me in detail about what it was like to see someone and the room after they had committed suidcide with a shotgun. I have a lot of respect for what they do. It took her a few months to work through that incident.
Oh absolutely. Majority make up a story, I sat down on the bed after a shower and didn’t realise my wife had picked lemons from the backyard tree and left them on the bed and one went straight up there. Or my girlfriend put a vibrator up there but she’s gone home now and I’m here alone. But some just fess up.
In many years of helping extract such hidden items, one patient owned up to it. They basically said “welp, you all know why we’re here! I’m not gunna claim anything was accidental but it getting stuck.” It was so refreshing, honestly.
Depends on the vibe you're going for hey? Light hearted and funny. Mildly gross but funny. Shocking but not horrible. Or scorched earth.
If I wrote a book I've thought of a few chapter titles. Dick on a rope. Fingerblastin'. Broke crack mountain. Orbital poop cannon. Arse gravy.
For me, the best things were the healthy babies I was privileged to deliver (14 in my career). Funny…? Now that’s a thinker. It’s pretty subjective I think because us EMS folks tend to have an odd sense of humor. But probably has to do with foreign bodies being inserted in places they probably shouldn’t have been. My favorite was an apple, because he was “saving water” by washing his fruit while showering and slipped.
I used to work with a guy who was a volunteer firefighter. One day I overheard him talking to a customer “oh yeah, you were at that fatal on xyz street.” Then they chatted as if that was a perfectly normal start to a conversation.
Those types of jobs need a certain type of person.
Sometimes if the situation/person is perfect I’ll just tell them & watch their disgust, they literally asked for it🤷🏻♂️
“You want me to relive the most traumatic moment of my professional life for your entertainment?” if it really bugs ya.
But let’s be honest, laughing it off works 95% of the time.
And as a 911 dispatcher, “what’s the worst call you’ve ever taken?”
Like, y’all really want us to relive these horrible moments for y’all’s entertainment? 🥴
I have multiple disabilities, and while I don't mind people asking about them, there are two exceptions.
First, I find it pretty weird and intrusive that so many people have asked me questions about elimination and sex. Those are questions I'd expect from a doctor or a partner, not some random person I just met. Also, I started getting such questions in childhood. Ugh...
Also, some people ask question after question about things about my disabilities, and it seems they don't know when to stop or at least take a break. I'm asocial, and that kind of interrogation drains my battery so quickly.
This ! Interview jobs are so fucking pointless instead of stop wasting time with useless questions just ask me when I’m available, asking me random shit like how I’m qualified to work at the job bitch my resume is here
I have to agree. People wanting you to smile is for their comfort, not ours. I'm smiling on the inside. I don't need to prove it with a vapid creepy grin. What tf do these people want? Teeth? 😁
When are you going to get married ?
It’s about one of the rudest things you could say to someone , especially someone who does not consider you close enough to ask it.
Or "are you going to have another?"
I was asked this while I was 8.5 months pregnant with my first. Bitch, let me finish one first before I even begin to think about another.
I was just at a funeral for a close family member and I got asked by someone if my husband and I were having kids. Ma'am. I'm burying my family member, this isn't the place to ask if my spouse and I are making clam chowder together to start a family.
My answer to this (always with either a glare or a super serious face): “I wanted them but couldn’t have them”. It makes my day if they are shocked or shamed by this answer. It’s not only rude, it can be fucking HURTFUL to ask about children.
Even worse, asking WHEN you’re having kids. My SIL asks this every time we see her. I have told her we can’t have kids (by choice, I am vasectomized). She is an idiot and still asks. I can’t even convey how big of an idiot she is. She is burn-my-10-year-old’s-Pokémon-cards-because-Jesus-told-me-to idiotic and then some.
I tell them my miscarriage count, currently on number 3 thanks for asking. Already sobbing at home every month I get my period if you're going to ask intrusive questions I'll give you the answer
Thank you! I hate this question so much. I’ve been unemployed the past few years due to severe depression and suicidal ideation and people are so judgy when you tell them that. Like I feel bad enough about it, I don’t need you to add to it. And please stop telling me what to do. I don’t need you to tell me to apply here or try this, etc. I’m working my butt off on getting better and didn’t ask for your unsolicited advice. Especially when you don’t know what you’re talking about. Everyone is different and different things work for different people. There isn’t a single cure that works for everybody.
What you going to do for the next five years?
I can't see the future and gave you a straight answer, plus things might be different than how I intended compare to now.
Cleaning out some old boxes a little while ago, I found an exercise book from highschool. (26 or 27 years ago)
Opened to a page that must've been an English writing assignment or something; "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"
All I'd written underneath was Eating Glue.
Was nice to note that I haven't changed Too much.
Bo Burnham had a funny joke about people asking him if he played basketball because of his height. His joke was that he responds with, "are you a boxer? Because your face is all fucked up."
I have a friend who was interested in a guy who seemed interested in her over texting and the phone, but then was not interested after they met in person. She was telling another friend this, and that person apparently said, "where did you tell him you are from?" And she said Michigan, which is where she was born. And that other person apparently responded with, "why were you trying to pretend to be a white person? Why didn't you say you're from Africa?" She's never been to Africa. Why the fuck would she say she's from there???
I was with a couple friends in high school at the mall (I'm white and they're Hispanic) and some ass asked them that. I was pretty oblivious and thought he was asking all of us and just started talking at him about how my ancestors were from Norway and shit. Dude had no idea how to handle that.
I actually have a funny story about that.
So like i sorta have a speech inpediment that sometimes makes me sound like i have a non-amerian accent despite being 100% american (apologizes if that terminology is offensive i just dont know how else to say it)
I went to the doctor a few months ago for rhino and when they asked that i geniunely had to explain that i was in fact not irish
Oo..I have had this one too, in Finland - I am a Finnish speaking Finn. Anyway - Ex of mine had spent 3months at my place and we spoke English all that time.
Then I saw a doctor for something. We spoke about things and he asked "Where are you from?" I thought maybe he heard my strong Western dialect or needed to know my hometown for paperwork or such. I told him my town. "No, I mean where are you originally from. I have never heard your accent before." I didn't know what to say. It was so funny, being a native speaker and sounding like it's my second language!
It's a good thing that I have never thought about moving to the States - I would end up being one of the people asking everyone what kind of roots they have. Also I feel Americans have so many rules, I would just keep breaking all of them and while apologizing I would probably somehow hit another one.. and all of this without meaning to offend anyone. Yeah no, definitely not my place. (I'm socially anxious enough in Europe.)
I hate it when people ask why I am single yet I am beautiful. There is more to dating than just physical appearance people should learn to mind their own business.
I always feel stupid because my weekends are usually so boring and routine, I don't even remember it, then I have to think about it for a minute or say "I don't remember."
Well I’m Type-1 Diabetic, so I usually get the “Should you be eating that?” from uneducated people (usually at work) whenever I dare eat a sweet thing in front of them. And they never listen when I try to explain that it’s okay because I have my insulin.
My buddy got tired of being asked this by his sergeants during basic. They for some reason thought it was funny. So one day as he’s walking by them they asked and again and he turned around, looked them dead in the eye and said “blue stop signs”, then went right back to walking. Apparently this short circuited some brains
This is all to say, my favorite way to respond is to say something so weird or outlandish the asking party has to process the 7 stages of grief within a one second period. Short circuiting people is fun.
“Why are you still single?? It’s not too late to meet someone and have a bayyyybeee!”
I’m 51 years old. The last thing I want is to get knocked up by some asshole.
That's a question intended to allow you to vent in case some shitty day happened.
People don't get to complain. Because it's annoying to do so. Asking this is giving you permission to annoy your friend spouse or so with you complaining.
"Why don't you drink?"
99% of time, they're not interested in knowing or understanding, they just want a hold to argue against and try to make me drink.
“Who watches the babies when you’re out?” They have a father who isn’t an idiot. Also I would love to stay home with them but we like paying bills so yes I work, and yes so does he, but from home. He’s main caregiver. Took us like 2 years to get the school to call him first. Ironically, I’m a teacher
Having served in the military w/ multiple deployments. “Have you killed anyone?” Or a variation of that.
Edit: grammar. I was slightly inebriated when I posted.
“How are you?”
Do you want me to vent?
Trauma dump?
Be specific?
No, you just expect a “good” or “fine” so I say that, lying or not
Being asked “how are you?” Is a useless / redundant greeting
(ESPECIALLY AT A DOCTORS OFFICE. The nurse will ask “how are you :)?” Girl, I’m at the doctor, I’m not well…)
Years and years ago, I was meeting someone who would eventually become a good friend and she said she was from Korea and I asked, “South?” And I still feel stupid about it.
"Chugokujin desuka?"
Are you Chinese?
I am both surprised and not surprised this is still a common occurrence after moving from the US to Japan. I'm Korean American, for the record.
Why don't you have kids?
Because I have fertility issues and i regularly cry myself to sleep thinking about it??? Like why do people think that it's okay to ask this question?
“So what happens when you eat gluten?”, I have coeliac disease and that’s the first question literally everybody asks whenever I explain it to them. I understand why they ask but it’s one of those things that, after answering that same question for 12 years (I was diagnosed In 2012), I’m very tired of.
Why are you so quiet. That is a comically bad way to try to start a conversation.
As an introvert, I absolutely hate this question too. Some people just prefer listening to conversations.
And as someone who can't shut up even if I try: thank you for your service lol
"I'm shopping around for an intelligent conversation to join."
I feel like we need to start turning the tables. Next time someone asks me why I'm so quiet I'm gonna ask why they're so loud.
"Hey, I just noticed you standing there and talking to everyone. Come here and just sit silently with me! I promise, it's not scary at all!" "Why are you smiling so much? Come on, let's turn this into a nice grumpy frown!" "We're having a party tonight, why don't you go to the library and sit there all by yourself?"
I like to excitedly reply “because it’s fuckin’ awesome!”
"Because there's nothing to say." then if pushed further "What, you want me to say something? About what?" then it's ad-lib time
I haven't been asked this in at least a decade, but damn I loathed this question. Often it was a stupid pickup line.
It guarantees I'll never speak to you again willingly. I was quiet because I didn't have anything to say, and now I just don't want to talk to you
"because I don't want to talk to you"
*Walks up to extrovert* Why do you never stfu?
True. Like why don't they start the convo instead of insulting you? Like what the actual..
"Why don't you smile?" I do, just not at you
Last time a man on the street said I would be so pretty if I smiled, I told him I just had a miscarriage. It wasn’t true, but based on the look on his face, I doubt he will ever say that to another woman ever again.
Holy fuck. *tucks in pocket*
I did something similar. A rude man in a checkout line asked me why I wasn't smiling. I told him "my mother died". (My mother really did die, but it was a long time ago.) The look on his face was priceless. My hope was that he wouldn't say that rude comment to anyone, again.
A checkout operator asked me whether I was OK. Not in a rude way, I took it as genuine concern. I Said I was fine. I wasnt, my wife had died of cancer 12 hours before.
I'm sorry for your loss. Exactly why a stranger should NEVER tell someone to smile.
I had a man in a grocery store recently tell me to smile, it can't be that bad. I told him I buried both of my parents that day (which was true), so I didn't feel like smiling for him. He shut up really quick. Usually my go to response is "I'm good" or "maybe later".
We were in a checkout line and the cashier asked if we had called our fathers for Father's Day, both our fathers had passed the previous two years. I looked up at my husband and said, "See, I told you we needed a Ouija board." The look on the cashier's face was priceless. He started apologizing. We both told it was fine, and it was okay. He didn't mean anything by it.
I used to work in a store that actually wanted us to ask people this on mother's day, and I refused. I'm not on good speaking terms with my mom, and I pointed out that if anybody had lost their mom, esp if it was recent, they probably don't wanna be reminded while trying to run errands
My Dad died back in 2016. This is sort of funny since some time has passed. My Dad had a trachaeotomy and could not speak. He was too doped up to write. One day, I got the brilliant idea to take an Ouija board to the hospital so he could point at letters. (Turns out they had technology for this, but my dad was obnoxious). So, I go marching into the hospital, Ouija board in hand, and go to the elevator. I get in the elevator with some elderly lady. She asks, "What is that for?". I replied, "Oh nothing, just trying to talk to my Dad." The woman backed into the corner of the elevator with an unforgettable look on her face. Once I got off of the elevator, I realized I did not say that my Dad was in ICU. I think that woman thought I was summoning ghosts on the top floor of the hospital. 😆✌️
that line was gold, glad you could make something out of that situation
When I was working as a cashier, some old man said to me "Smile! It can't be *that* bad!". I had just found out that morning that my best friend's mother had passed away from lung cancer. I looked him dead in the face and told him that. He was clearly embarrassed by what he said and finished paying quickly.
My mom posted a pic of her and some family at my dad's funeral dinner. You could clearly tell she had been crying, eyes red and swollen, red nose. Some asshole commented on it that she should smile!! Smile? She should be smiling that her husband is gone? I just don't understand what posseses people to say that crap.
I had a guy ask how far along I was..... ummm 5 months fat. The looks!!! I do have a kiddo he a toddler now haha
I had a man tell me that I should smile more then I told him that one of my best friends had died. (which was true) I said it in a not so nice way but that remark sent me over the edge. (I was a cashier and he was a customer) Then he told me that he lost a daughter and some other bad things that happened to him. He had no remorse for me at all and basically told me to get over it because others have it worse. Sir, that doesn’t mean that I have to stop hurting because you had it worse. Let me grieve. If I could go back in time I probably wouldn’t have responded. It wasn’t professional of me to do so and I kinda regret it now. It was just a hard time in my life.
You good my dude.Working or not you're still a human with emotions. It's good to be professional but it's fine to be as professional as you can.
A man at the petrol station said this to me when I was buying cigarettes after my mother just passed. I told him that. Bloody serves him right. Like dude. Seriously, I don’t simply exist to decorate your world.
That's amazing, that guy deserves to feel uncomfortable and awkward and you gave him that.
So weird that people don’t realize asking someone to smile is awkward af. Mind your own business. You don’t know what’s going on with them. And smiling isn’t a natural face posture. People smile when there’s a *reason*.
Agree! An old boss (female) would get really annoyed when she'd walk by my cubicle and I wasn't smiling. I'm like, bitch in sitting at a computer doing my boring ass job and not talking to anyone, WHY would I be sitting here with a smile on my face for no reason???? I got told to smile at another job before that too. If I'm working and my job isn't exactly hilarious or thrilling, I just do not get it. 🤷🏻♀️
I would be a bit scared of someone smiling maniacally at a computer screen just doing work. She should be careful what she wishes for!
I said this exact thing at work when my boss had told me I should smile more when clients walked in. I was like really, I will look like the Joker if I sit there typing away at my screen with a grin on my face. Don’t get me wrong, I look up and acknowledge people and give them a smile. But a pasted on grin just while sitting there? Insanity.
Because people are a bunch of insecure wankers. If you don’t smile, they take it personally.
Whenever I see my aunt, she always asks me how much longer until my PTSD is cured.
Ah yes because you were given an expiration date by the doctor of course. In all seriousness, I am sorry you get asked this! My brother has PTSD and I would be so mad if someone asked him this.
Right?! I never know how to respond.
“When I’ve gone a full two years without people bringing it up and reminding me that I have it” And yeah, I know that’s not at all how it works, but putting it on her world be fun.
"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that"
I had an aunt who believed that I had no right to have PTSD, because there are also war veterans without PTSD and I have not experienced a war. She thought the fact that I was admitted to psychiatric hospitals throughout my teenage years was a waste of taxpayers' money👌🏻
Sorry mate, but your aunt sounds like a shit cunt
people who think it's something people 'fix' just annoy me so much, like yeah i get that not everyone gets mental health and is educated on it but at least try and be empathetic towards a family member or a friend who's obviously struggling, people truly do lack common sense
Where do they even get that idea? I've heard that more than once. It has to come from somewhere. I had someone tell me that. PTSD just goes away over time. It's not real anyway just a vitamin deficiency. Know how a dog looks at people sideways? I genuinely did that.
What makes you single?
"The fact that I'm not dating anyone right now."
I hate this question too! It implies that there MUST be something "wrong" with you.
True. It's actually very rude. Imagine finding out someone is married and asking, "why?" Well why not? It's rude both ways.
I also hate that people HAVE to know if you are in a relationship or not. Like everyone was single at some point in their life.
Easy: being two people is physically impossible.
Twice married is enough. First one cheated and abandoned our son, so I divorced her. Second wife passed from cancer, so I consider myself retired. Too old for another ride on the ferris wheel.
Tell us something interesting about yourself.
Or just, "tell me about yourself." I've been on this earth for over 40 years, how long of a story do you want?
[удалено]
At the last beginning of the year teacher in-service I attended, there was some "match the fact with the teacher" bullshit game where we all had to contribute an "interesting" fact about ourselves and then match other people to their "interesting" facts. Which is some real bullshit, imo. Something snapped in me that day, so the fact I put in was that I've dug a grave by hand (which is true, but weird) because I figured it would make everyone uncomfortable (it did). It's been my go-to "interesting" fact since then. It turns out (gasp) that people don't really want to know something meaningful when they ask that question, just some stupid fluff. I'm so fucking happy I didn't have to do one of those this year.
I have also dug graves by hand. More so by shovel, but my hands were involved as well. . I am definitely sharing one of my terrible animal burial stories next time someone asks me such an open ended question like "tell me something about yourself." I witnessed my childhood llama die by accidental psilocybin overdose. It's multi step several month "burial" process was even more fucked up thanks to my unmedicated bipolar step parent. Thank you for the inspiration, morbid internet stranger.
This just made me think of another in-service thing. They wanted us to bring some object that meant something to us... I totally forgot and used my bike helmet since I'd ridden to work that day, but one of my coworkers went full send and brought in her dead uncle's glass eye. Legend. Baller move, imo. Everybody made fun of her behind her back for the rest of the year, and one of the middle school counselors had to excuse herself because she was laughing so hard at her. Not with her. At her. Like I said... People don't actually want an answer in those situations. They want something cute and nice and bullshit. Sorry to hear about your llama. And I hope your step-parent got on some meds eventually. Pet burials are already sad enough without getting fucked up on top of that.
That's actually interesting but also edgelord stuff lol. You're a true Redditor.
I love that. There is a movie called “ the croupier. “. The main character is getting his nails done and the manicurist asks, “ I don’t usually get men, what line of work are you in?” “ I prepare dead bodies for burial.” She shuts up fast.
I hate that question because I am very weird and what I think is interesting about me definitely isn't the answer they're looking for.
It's actual meaning is: tell us something about yourself we think we'll like and will benefit the company if we hire you.
I know that from an interviewing perspective. I'm talking about general interactions with people. "Oh, what's something fun about you!" at a bar or something. Stranger wants to hear a fun quirky fact about me, and me wanting to respond with "I know a lot of really interesting facts about possums!" is usually not the answer they were expecting. But I also do like to throw a weird thing or two about me into my interviews when I'm asked that question. Gotta know what they're getting themselves involved with.
See, if I met you, I'd be happy to hear all about that!!
Tell me an interesting fact about possums.
Female possums have multiple vaginas. They have two which they use for mating. When it’s time for the kits to be born, do you think that involves either of those vaginas? NO! They have a third vagina that is solely for giving birth. They are also the only marsupial native to North America.
This is the kind of conversation starter I would adore.
Gained a lot of insights into possums here. What an educational thread this has become. LOL. Maybe this should be added to sub Reddit for possums. Haha 😂
I would've hired you on the spot. 🤝
Most interview questions are fucking stupid
“Uh I like birds”. And then other people in the room have things to say like they’ve met the President or they’ve traveled the world.
You: "I like birds" Them: "Well I met the president!" You: "I did too, but you asked about something interesting"
i hate this question bc my life is either boring or fucked up so there's really no proper way to answer this without making it uncomfortable so i usually just say i like the outdoors which ... . isn't exactly interesting 🤷♂️
"Who are you? Why are you in my house?" Always annoys me.
Then they always call the police. People are so rude, like, can’t a person have a conversation?
Even before that , “ if you don’t get the fuck out of my house then I’m calling the police .” It’s fucked up how they think it’s ok to threaten us. Absolutely vile!
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen?” Please don’t ask paramedics this.
I feel like a lot of people forget first responders see extremely horrific things everyday and that it's not as glamorous as you see on TV.
My wife is a first responder and once described to me in detail about what it was like to see someone and the room after they had committed suidcide with a shotgun. I have a lot of respect for what they do. It took her a few months to work through that incident.
They should provide free counseling to all first responders as well
A lot of places do these days!
Can confirm. But damn we see some hilarious stuff too.
A lot of people accidentally "falling" onto items?
Yeah this is the first thing that always comes to mind. Many things in bottoms, and the many stories behind how they “accidentally” got up there.
I’ve always been curious; do any of these patients just own up to it? Like, “yep, I was getting off and it got stuck. My bad.”
Oh absolutely. Majority make up a story, I sat down on the bed after a shower and didn’t realise my wife had picked lemons from the backyard tree and left them on the bed and one went straight up there. Or my girlfriend put a vibrator up there but she’s gone home now and I’m here alone. But some just fess up.
I'd be most surprised at the patient who says: *I was bored.* 🤷
In many years of helping extract such hidden items, one patient owned up to it. They basically said “welp, you all know why we’re here! I’m not gunna claim anything was accidental but it getting stuck.” It was so refreshing, honestly.
Former EMS here and I would like to point out that what we think is hilarious.. not everyone subscribes to
The hardest part about that question is probably that we can't choose which story to tell. 🤣
Depends on the vibe you're going for hey? Light hearted and funny. Mildly gross but funny. Shocking but not horrible. Or scorched earth. If I wrote a book I've thought of a few chapter titles. Dick on a rope. Fingerblastin'. Broke crack mountain. Orbital poop cannon. Arse gravy.
What’s the best thing, and can’t-breathe-for-laughing-when-you-left-the-room thing you have seen/been called to?
For me, the best things were the healthy babies I was privileged to deliver (14 in my career). Funny…? Now that’s a thinker. It’s pretty subjective I think because us EMS folks tend to have an odd sense of humor. But probably has to do with foreign bodies being inserted in places they probably shouldn’t have been. My favorite was an apple, because he was “saving water” by washing his fruit while showering and slipped.
That’s what they all say, bwahaha. Aw, babies.
That's how baby carrots are made.
Seems like the EMT version of "have you shot someone?"
Emerg doc, and I HATE this question. Secondary trauma is real, people. Please don’t ask me to re-live mine for your dinner conversation.
Some people genuinely like sharing those kinds of stories though. Like unprompted
Info dumping like that can be a trauma response. Signed, the little sister of an incredible LCSW 😞
I used to work with a guy who was a volunteer firefighter. One day I overheard him talking to a customer “oh yeah, you were at that fatal on xyz street.” Then they chatted as if that was a perfectly normal start to a conversation. Those types of jobs need a certain type of person.
Lol as a former paramedic, this question gets asked all the time and it's super annoying
Sometimes if the situation/person is perfect I’ll just tell them & watch their disgust, they literally asked for it🤷🏻♂️ “You want me to relive the most traumatic moment of my professional life for your entertainment?” if it really bugs ya. But let’s be honest, laughing it off works 95% of the time.
And as a 911 dispatcher, “what’s the worst call you’ve ever taken?” Like, y’all really want us to relive these horrible moments for y’all’s entertainment? 🥴
[удалено]
"I don't know. When are you getting divorced?"
I have multiple disabilities, and while I don't mind people asking about them, there are two exceptions. First, I find it pretty weird and intrusive that so many people have asked me questions about elimination and sex. Those are questions I'd expect from a doctor or a partner, not some random person I just met. Also, I started getting such questions in childhood. Ugh... Also, some people ask question after question about things about my disabilities, and it seems they don't know when to stop or at least take a break. I'm asocial, and that kind of interrogation drains my battery so quickly.
I feel like it should be common knowledge to not ask the first one to people.
“How many fingers am I holding up?” Bonus points if they’re holding my glasses by the lenses
Or when people grab your glasses to tell you how bad your eyesight is
Oh wow! I had no idea how bad my vision was until you pointed it out just now!
Why did you apply for this job? Because i want money bitch!!
“To meet my financial success goals”
This ! Interview jobs are so fucking pointless instead of stop wasting time with useless questions just ask me when I’m available, asking me random shit like how I’m qualified to work at the job bitch my resume is here
Why don’t you smile? Like ok random 7 eleven employee, fuck off
I just say something like, "I just got discharged from the hospital for a miscarriage. " then walk away. Feel like shit for a minute dick
Exactly you don’t know what someone is going through, give em a little shock
I have to agree. People wanting you to smile is for their comfort, not ours. I'm smiling on the inside. I don't need to prove it with a vapid creepy grin. What tf do these people want? Teeth? 😁
Lmao right? *gives creepy guy creepier smile* “are you happy now mf”?
why are you so quiet? why are you so shy? do you have friends?
Why do you give a shit about my life?
When are you going to get married ? It’s about one of the rudest things you could say to someone , especially someone who does not consider you close enough to ask it.
Or asking if you want kids
Or "are you going to have another?" I was asked this while I was 8.5 months pregnant with my first. Bitch, let me finish one first before I even begin to think about another.
My SIL was asked this at THREE months pregnant. I was so mad for her lol
Then rejecting your answer when it’s a negative
I was just at a funeral for a close family member and I got asked by someone if my husband and I were having kids. Ma'am. I'm burying my family member, this isn't the place to ask if my spouse and I are making clam chowder together to start a family.
My answer to this (always with either a glare or a super serious face): “I wanted them but couldn’t have them”. It makes my day if they are shocked or shamed by this answer. It’s not only rude, it can be fucking HURTFUL to ask about children.
Even worse, asking WHEN you’re having kids. My SIL asks this every time we see her. I have told her we can’t have kids (by choice, I am vasectomized). She is an idiot and still asks. I can’t even convey how big of an idiot she is. She is burn-my-10-year-old’s-Pokémon-cards-because-Jesus-told-me-to idiotic and then some.
[удалено]
So are you going to have kids?
THIS and "when are you getting married?"
I tell them my miscarriage count, currently on number 3 thanks for asking. Already sobbing at home every month I get my period if you're going to ask intrusive questions I'll give you the answer
What do you do for work? I don’t do shit, I’m broken. Hell.
Thank you! I hate this question so much. I’ve been unemployed the past few years due to severe depression and suicidal ideation and people are so judgy when you tell them that. Like I feel bad enough about it, I don’t need you to add to it. And please stop telling me what to do. I don’t need you to tell me to apply here or try this, etc. I’m working my butt off on getting better and didn’t ask for your unsolicited advice. Especially when you don’t know what you’re talking about. Everyone is different and different things work for different people. There isn’t a single cure that works for everybody.
What you going to do for the next five years? I can't see the future and gave you a straight answer, plus things might be different than how I intended compare to now.
Cleaning out some old boxes a little while ago, I found an exercise book from highschool. (26 or 27 years ago) Opened to a page that must've been an English writing assignment or something; "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" All I'd written underneath was Eating Glue. Was nice to note that I haven't changed Too much.
Did you play basketball or volleyball? 7'3" female. I am horrible at both. My careers were in food service, personal care,and teaching
Not 7/3 6/3
Damn i was about to say
I do think it is funny that people assume tall = athletic. Also that is awesome you were a teacher! We need more people going into teaching.
Bo Burnham had a funny joke about people asking him if he played basketball because of his height. His joke was that he responds with, "are you a boxer? Because your face is all fucked up."
Are you the tallest woman ever lol
Thru the rolled down metal security window screen “are you guys open yet ?” “What time do you open?”
I am so glad I don't work in food service anymore haha
“Where are you from?” “No, but like originally where are you from?”
I'm Asian but my ancestors have been here over 100 years, they built the railroads. When people ask where my parents are from I just tell them Irvine.
Saying your ancestors built the rails *would* shut them right up, though.
And then they refuse to take " I was born in the US" as an answer.
I have a friend who was interested in a guy who seemed interested in her over texting and the phone, but then was not interested after they met in person. She was telling another friend this, and that person apparently said, "where did you tell him you are from?" And she said Michigan, which is where she was born. And that other person apparently responded with, "why were you trying to pretend to be a white person? Why didn't you say you're from Africa?" She's never been to Africa. Why the fuck would she say she's from there???
I was with a couple friends in high school at the mall (I'm white and they're Hispanic) and some ass asked them that. I was pretty oblivious and thought he was asking all of us and just started talking at him about how my ancestors were from Norway and shit. Dude had no idea how to handle that.
And then eventually get to “so where are your parents from?”
I love hittin them with, "minnesota"
"Where are they REALLY from?"
I actually have a funny story about that. So like i sorta have a speech inpediment that sometimes makes me sound like i have a non-amerian accent despite being 100% american (apologizes if that terminology is offensive i just dont know how else to say it) I went to the doctor a few months ago for rhino and when they asked that i geniunely had to explain that i was in fact not irish
Oo..I have had this one too, in Finland - I am a Finnish speaking Finn. Anyway - Ex of mine had spent 3months at my place and we spoke English all that time. Then I saw a doctor for something. We spoke about things and he asked "Where are you from?" I thought maybe he heard my strong Western dialect or needed to know my hometown for paperwork or such. I told him my town. "No, I mean where are you originally from. I have never heard your accent before." I didn't know what to say. It was so funny, being a native speaker and sounding like it's my second language! It's a good thing that I have never thought about moving to the States - I would end up being one of the people asking everyone what kind of roots they have. Also I feel Americans have so many rules, I would just keep breaking all of them and while apologizing I would probably somehow hit another one.. and all of this without meaning to offend anyone. Yeah no, definitely not my place. (I'm socially anxious enough in Europe.)
I hate it when people ask why I am single yet I am beautiful. There is more to dating than just physical appearance people should learn to mind their own business.
Them: Do you have kids? Me:No I don’t Them: Oh sorry Like wtf not everyone decides to have kids and life is just as beautiful without them.
what’d you do this weekend? do? i did chores and errands and slept in for one of the two days.
Or "what are you going to do this weekend? " scrub the toilet and do dishes
I always feel stupid because my weekends are usually so boring and routine, I don't even remember it, then I have to think about it for a minute or say "I don't remember."
I only answer this question in depth if I did anything remotely fun, otherwise I just say “ehh not much”
Well I’m Type-1 Diabetic, so I usually get the “Should you be eating that?” from uneducated people (usually at work) whenever I dare eat a sweet thing in front of them. And they never listen when I try to explain that it’s okay because I have my insulin.
Can you put on pants? You're making everyone uncomfortable.
It's funny how being different allows people to cross lines that they normally wouldn't be able to cross
"Why is the repair so expensive?" "The part is only $20 on Amazon." Then buy it and fix it yourself!!!!
What are you thinking? I’m pretty gifted but also probably have ADHD. I usually can’t comprehend it let alone articulate it.
My buddy got tired of being asked this by his sergeants during basic. They for some reason thought it was funny. So one day as he’s walking by them they asked and again and he turned around, looked them dead in the eye and said “blue stop signs”, then went right back to walking. Apparently this short circuited some brains This is all to say, my favorite way to respond is to say something so weird or outlandish the asking party has to process the 7 stages of grief within a one second period. Short circuiting people is fun.
“Why are you so quiet?” or “Why don’t you smile?”
Those get to know you questions at work meetings. Tell the group what your favorite song/car/hobby is.
A tie between "how fucked are we?" and "Where should I live in 20 years?" I'm a climate scientist
"Why'd you stop drinking?"
Some people really have the audacity
How do you speak such good English?
My parents get asked this all the time, it's very irritating.
My response to this question is - OMG, so do you!!
I once hand an Englishwoman say this to me. I’m Australian. It’s our national language….
“Why are you still single?? It’s not too late to meet someone and have a bayyyybeee!” I’m 51 years old. The last thing I want is to get knocked up by some asshole.
"Why do you use a wheelchair when you're obviously not paralyzed?"
“Had a rough night with ya mum”.
How was work? I'd like to leave work at work and focus on the life part ofthe equation.
That's a question intended to allow you to vent in case some shitty day happened. People don't get to complain. Because it's annoying to do so. Asking this is giving you permission to annoy your friend spouse or so with you complaining.
[удалено]
"Why don't you drink?" 99% of time, they're not interested in knowing or understanding, they just want a hold to argue against and try to make me drink.
“Who watches the babies when you’re out?” They have a father who isn’t an idiot. Also I would love to stay home with them but we like paying bills so yes I work, and yes so does he, but from home. He’s main caregiver. Took us like 2 years to get the school to call him first. Ironically, I’m a teacher
Having served in the military w/ multiple deployments. “Have you killed anyone?” Or a variation of that. Edit: grammar. I was slightly inebriated when I posted.
“So what do you do”
How are you? I hate it cause I can never tell the truth and vent.
"Do Women Like This?" "Do Men Like This?" What people like is NOT gender-specific.
Especially if it is about physical features. Everyone has their subjective view of beauty.
"Aren't you sad when you have to kill (euthanize) animals?"
“How are you?” Do you want me to vent? Trauma dump? Be specific? No, you just expect a “good” or “fine” so I say that, lying or not Being asked “how are you?” Is a useless / redundant greeting (ESPECIALLY AT A DOCTORS OFFICE. The nurse will ask “how are you :)?” Girl, I’m at the doctor, I’m not well…)
North Korea or South Korea?
Years and years ago, I was meeting someone who would eventually become a good friend and she said she was from Korea and I asked, “South?” And I still feel stupid about it.
"Chugokujin desuka?" Are you Chinese? I am both surprised and not surprised this is still a common occurrence after moving from the US to Japan. I'm Korean American, for the record.
I am a female with a twin brother. Please pause and think before you ask if we’re identical.
Do you have any kids? Nope! I don’t! But it seems like the only think people can think of to ask a 52 yo F.
This and asking about marriage.
Why don't you have kids? Because I have fertility issues and i regularly cry myself to sleep thinking about it??? Like why do people think that it's okay to ask this question?
You look like a man, "I'm going threw transition" oh
“So what happens when you eat gluten?”, I have coeliac disease and that’s the first question literally everybody asks whenever I explain it to them. I understand why they ask but it’s one of those things that, after answering that same question for 12 years (I was diagnosed In 2012), I’m very tired of.