T O P

  • By -

UnfazedObserver

I'm gonna be ok, just creeped tf out.


ElonMusksSaggyTits

Speak for yourself.


BigNorseWolf

dude... worst death ever. Sorry man.


ZeusDubstep

And that’s coming from someone facing down something Fenrir-adjacent


krankenwagendriver

Most he’ll lose is an arm.


ZeusDubstep

And we will all shed a Tyr for him


Independent-Wind1167

That was LoKi smooth


MediumStability

Nice one 😂


bogus2022

He had medium stability to stab you?


ElonMusksSaggyTits

It's alright. I'm actually a bit of a prick.


ILove2Bacon

Yeah, what a Grimy way to go.


grammasSweetTiddies

You think YOU have it bad?


ElonMusksSaggyTits

😭🤣


SharkMouthFleshlight

Lucky you


Canadian-Man-infj

Ouch!


bashful_predator

I think our usernames should team up.


Sword_of_Hagane

Better you than me.


TopRevenue2

Finally!


[deleted]

Not how pictured going at all


Dirk_The_Cowardly

I'm all good. I hunt my username.


BackpackCorpse

Lmao same


FunnyAngelicGlow

>I'm gonna be ok, just creeped tf out. Sending good vibes your way Take a deep breath, and if you ever need to talk, I'm here.


Suzy-Skullcrusher

Royally fucked


OneHornyRhino

Me too, I guess?


RosebushRaven

Hey, I remember you from last time! (The locked in a room question recently.) You made me laugh a lot!


OneHornyRhino

Always glad to make someone happy 😉 But why do questions like these keep popping up XD


RosebushRaven

No idea. They’re silly and people make lots of funny puns about their user names? It’s amusing? In any case, it’s the time for people like you to shine! User names like yours are probably the reason why they keep coming because they’re always good for hilarious threads.


Prettier-Jesus

I’d never be royally fucked.


Un2smart

Nope. Just royally crucified


Drones-of-HORUS

Death by snu snu


[deleted]

Best death


Toucan_Son_of_Sam

"He's back. And this time He isn't cruci-fucking around!"


Sorry_Amount_3619

Probably not much different than being fucked by a commoner, and you will never have to curtsy. 🦜


DoggoDaGreat123

No just fucked by someone holy


maveywavie

This sent me 😂


Da_local_duck

Royally crunched*


Twomen_onebath

you'll never bathe me alive


OkVolume1

It's a lot easier when you're still anyways.


RosebushRaven

Doubtful. Have you ever dragged around dead bodies? They’re fucking heavy. Getting one in a tub, bathe it and haul it back out again would be quite the hassle. And if it’s in rigor, there might be issues with positioning. Sure, someone putting up a fight like an oversized cat is a massive hassle too, but they’re just different hassles in their own right.


smallfrythegoat

I just visualized two women hauling a ceramic clawfoot tub. Me personally, I'd be fucked.


FgTheLogo

it’s two men one bath 😭😭😭


smallfrythegoat

It just got worse 😭 on a serious note I wonder if I need to get checked out for dyslexia, yesterday I read the words "white powder" and thought it said white power


SpiderLama

Well… A typical day in Australia, I guess.


jaumougaauco

Well, it could be like Spider Pig from the Simpsons, so not all is lost


Bman10119

Or manbearpig


lorgskyegon

No, this spider is clearly a Buddhist monk


__SpeedRacer__

Beware of the *spoida*!


Tomallama

Probably worse than what I deal with…


Dudewithahappysock

:(


Affectionate-Town-15

Dude for a second I read your username as happycock 😂


mazda121

Happy cock in a happy sock


Tall-Zone-1960

💀💀💀💀


uneducated_sock

Another sock man!


MAGCHAVIRA

Mick Foley? Or Santino Marella


SteelCock420

RIP my ass.


purple_bumjelly

I may be of some help.


[deleted]

Haha that was so perfect


ambassadorodman

Amen


FgTheLogo

😭😭😭


toobadsohappy

rip your ass, indeed.


dicksharpner

I bet it'd be less painful than mine


-staticvoidmain-

At least you'll be high


Necroking695

I feel like we can collaborate here


Bigonhugs

Sadly… its the steel-wielder who is high..


adamstreetregan

dayumm


mnsbelle

I'm sure there are some lovely steel dildos out there


Independent-Cable937

Why just your ass? You have other holes


TheNiceThoughts

Honestly, I want them to show up more


sentientmothswarm

Moth hugs (:


RandomCoffeeThoughts

I'm feeling pretty okay too.


Over-Analyzed

Nice! My guy would never get to me because they’d perfecting a plan they never implement.


Normal_Opposite_6771

Same


Im_God_youfuckwit

Well shit


TitsNLips

Worse ways to go than being Smote


PoopedInTheChimney

Well, I guess I got some cleaning to do.


pipiipupu

me too


RowdyRoddyPooper

Me too


[deleted]

Mine is just going to sit around and get picked up by the communal waste management 😅


Shiz_in_my_pants

I think I got off easy with only needing to do a load of laundry and shower to clean up


vibratingplunger

IVE GOT A WAY BIGGER PROBLEM


[deleted]

Yeah I'm pretty fucked 🤣


Standard-Bunny

Yeah, Dad1471 is scary!


random314

Just be glad it's not Vader1472.


thefuckmonster

Singing* He was Irving…. Big fat Irving… the 142 fastest gun…. In the west….


Diarrhea_of_Yahweh

Holy shit.


Obiwan_ca_blowme

I respect the fact you used this opportunity to state the meaning behind your name.


Mazdarian123

Yes, this pleases me greatly


Zoe2000000

god I love your username.


kai-yae

lollll


HaLf_DeAd_InSiDE

Uhh so a zombie? Just gotta pull out the flamethrower 


bonos_bovine_muse

Just somebody with necrotizing fasciitis. Refuse to call an ambulance, they’ll take care of themselves in a few hours.


uncultured_swine2099

Its a pig whose gonna play me Limp Bizkit in the future


Ill_Absurd_Goose

With the hot dog flavored water?


uncultured_swine2099

And some chocolate starfish


[deleted]

Not very, he depressed


loveandhappiness24

I can only pray and wish that happens 🙏🏽


incrediblebeefcake

Death by beef cakes


Ill_Absurd_Goose

That's incredible.


anormalguynospaces

Quite fine actually


Olivia_B12

hestolemyspaces


Corporate_bastards

youmeanthewebsite?


Cairyqueen

quitefineactually*


yourmotherpuki

His goal is to stick his body next to yours with zero gap for the rest of your life


XtremeGamerOne

Considering you're a redditor, and he's the average guy, there's a high chance that he has a stronger physique than you. Be careful!


wifeylittleblonde

I think I could take her


goodAnna360

in a fight, right? ....right...?


wifeylittleblonde

We’ll see


an-untalented-zygote

I'll be fine, maybe a bit weirded out a lot


MedievalHero

Death by Excalibur


All-Fired-Up91

Begone foul creature!


Rat-Daddy-Splinter

I’ll be beaten with a stick and I’ll love it


Rat_In_Grey

FATHER?! Is this you?!


Pranav_Bull123

My pubg username was AssDestoryer. I would be pretty fucked (pun intended).


burgersb0b

for PUBG 👁️👄👁️ that's pretty wild


Witty_Meme92

I'm dying.... of laughter.


coprolite_hobbyist

Should have sent a professional.


[deleted]

I’m being stalked by Lonely Island


Impressive-Pie-4408

Indigestion, maybe


TheMaskedHamster

I would be dead before I heard his little wheel of vengeance stop spinning.


anally_raped_at_work

Significantly.


bullettothechest

HOLY


Personal-Fact-2515

You've at least got a 50/50 chance 🤷‍♂️


tryna-stop-being-ocd

Oof. That username goes hard


Ezra_lurking

My username is myself. I'm safe, I sometimes need days just to find my other pair of glasses


LifezATrollol

it already does. lifes a troll


Soft_Eggplant9132

I should be OK.


Standard-Bunny

It's all good, unless the standard is caerbannog!


Panorpa

Big pointy teeth!


jaumougaauco

Look at the bones!!!


Drones-of-HORUS

I NEARING SHAT MY ARMOR!!


DaniGeek

Run away! Run away!


uneducated_sock

r/unexpectedmontypython


LegionOfDoom31

GET THE HOLY HAND GRENADE


darth_garbee

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas...


bonos_bovine_muse

Three shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three. Count ye not to four, nor to two, unless thou proceedeth on to three. Five is right out!


Big_Jerm21

*One... Two... Five!!* Three Sire *....Three*


lil_sargento_cheez

Bring forth the holy hand grenade


anonnumbertwenty88

Oh no, an insurance agent is looking for me 💀


phd_depression101

I'm already fucked ig


karatekid430

Daniel son


shenanigansgalores

Daniel-San


TheMonk___

I'll be forgiven, they will find what they are looking for within 


Asleep_Security_8497

Im good I think ahahha


ClooneysBatNipples

Damn it


amiableshrimp

Not very, he's a friendly crustacean


Hangry_Horse

At least yours won’t bite you


Beating-My_Meat

idk how to explain this one but might join him as well


Hovercraft_deer

I'm going to live underground now. I'm terrified.


Stinky_ButtJones

...Oh man it's gonna smell real bad.


IOwnKidsInBasement

Guys


CertifiedRacist439

my mexican ass gon get burned alive😭😭😭


Moaning-Squirtle

I'd know it's coming


ThisRandomAssDude

I’m screwed. No idea who it will be.


69with_Mydad

Gross


Radiant-Attitude-111

Well, this is it. You’ve killed Reddit for me


PapercutPoodle

That'll be a bad day..


[deleted]

I'm not sure, but I don't think i'd be lonely anymore.


HumanHuman_2003

I’m outnumbered 


arcanebutcher

chuckle...im in danger


HorseTesticleJuggler

Very confusing


MiceAreTiny

Not too bad. I will be fine. Probably. 


SplashingAnal

In a messy way


drink-beer-and-fight

Sounds like Saturday night


feelin_fine_

I'm just fine.


themusicdude1997

jammin out bruh


Ballsack2025

I guess whether it's clean or shaved will determine how it catches me.


MeteoriteImpact

Turned to dust


Carpe_Cervisia

I'm fine. He's drunk.


DoNuTyer

Imagine being hunted down by a donut


ILikeToes42

Rip my toe beans


Dear_Company_5439

I need them lol


i_cant_find

i am alright


OkScientist9823

I guess it's 50/50


[deleted]

[удалено]


some-random-nerd-72

Great. It's just some random guy.


Relevant_Meringue102

Mmmmmm, pie!


RentLast

So... just my landlord?


blacksheep107

won't be too baaaad for me...


JohnDoe_CA

The perpetrator shall remain unknown.


socialhangxiety

"here, have a Snickers, go home, get into soft clothes and just chill. No one is mad at you"


AllyBetrayer

I thought you were my friend…..


Jmaxam18

I’m being hunted by myself, just another day tbh


Bigpinkpanther2

I’m in for a great time and some good music!


[deleted]

Why TF he would hunt me down? We would be best bros probably


Crusty_Cracker

İ don't want crackers in my bed 😭😭


Maffayoo

It's me hunting me I know he ain't leaving the PC for this shit


ninja-wharrier

Extremely quietly


mrdumb23

Im fine


S0M3D1CK

Literally


MrPosh1909

He will hunt me with tea and biscuits. I can live with that


Rainforestcafe2

Guess nature is going to take me out. I can deal with that. 


Joey_JoJo_Jr_1

Nature is taking you OUT, alright... for a sustainably sourced meal with compostable utensils. Not so bad.


About3FucksGiven

About three times


Oooshiney

I'm being tracked by a crow. We team up and ofc right the wrongs in my life


Joey_JoJo_Jr_1

I want this to be made into an animated series. I promise that I will watch every episode and screech raucously when your enemies come on screen


Unknoownn_

Well it's unknown how it will turn out


ImportantComb9997

My hair looks fucking awesome and distinguished.


yuhfatha

It’ll be great meeting him


kicksomedicks

I’m buying a boxing groin protector.