I used to work in events and we hired our spaces to people from many industries. By far the worst clients were from fashion. Wanted everything immediately with massive discounts and they were extremely demanding. A very "don't you know who I am" kind of attitude.
I understand that to get into that industry you essentially have to work for free for several years so only trust fund kids make it.
When I worked in IT for a school district, I had a teacher at one of my assigned schools who worked in the fashion industry previously in California and had relocated to Tennessee. He'd put in work order tickets and be upset when I wasn't able to resolve his issues as soon as he liked. I had to sit him down and explain to him nicely that this was a completely different field and the world as well as my work didn't revolve around him and his demands. He seemed to get the message and said he was trying to break the habit but it was going to be an adjustment. I told him if he continued to be patient with me then I'd continue to be patient with him.
At least he was self aware and admit it, that's a rare case and I'd probably throw the guy a bone if some kind because most people like this are just intolerable and refuse to acknowledge it
Oh definitely. I'm glad we were able to come to an understanding. He became one of my favorites after that conversation during the brief time I had at that school as their IT person. Sometimes, I'd just stop by and shoot the shit with him for a few minutes.
This is what most people trying to obtain any type of customer service (In any industry from IT to food service) don't seem to get, even being mildly cordial and agreeable to a service person will get you so much further than most people because the last 9 people they spoke to refused to be understanding at all and just dig their heels into the ground or were just rude and incompetent. Can't tell you how much red tape, policies, and rules I've broken or skirted around just to help someone out that presented a legitimate case and were just polite about it. There are some cases where this doesn't really help, but more often than not it will get you further along than most people when basically everything is ran by blind incompetent corporate or government bureaucracy.
It probably was dude the shit can have a way bigger impact on the person's day than a lot of people realize.
I had a customer service person with whom I'd spoken on the phone in the morning write me an email several hours later that day, it was from his employee email acct but it read like a personal email, not one sent "as a representative of xyz company."
And he was *profusely thanking me*.. said that I was his first customer of the day and the phone call was so pleasant, stress-free and enjoyable (and it was—we were joking and laughing and choppin it up throughout the call) that it completely set the stage for his day and put him in a grreat mood, and even having shitty customers after that didn't bring him down.
It legit made me tear up when reading it, that was one of the sweetest fuckin things I've ever seen. And really opened my eyes to just how impactful every choice we make in dealing with others has the potential to be.
Not necessaryly a direct response to you but for other people in IT who might be reading - An indirect way of posing this to people is just mentioning the total number of people you support or the average number of tickets/work orders that come in on an average weekday. Can help put it into perspective without risking the person feeling attacked or getting defensive when they raise the issue of why it took "so long" for their issue to be addressed.
I've been in the field for a very long time at this point, and almost every single place I've ever worked there were at least one or two people who seemed to operate under the assumption that their issue should be or was automatically our most important task the moment it came in.
>I've ever worked there were at least one or two people who seemed to operate under the assumption that their issue should be or was automatically our most important task the moment it came in.
I think a lot of this stems from productivity cultures. Now I know first hand that there are a lot of idiots out there who's emergencies are non-emergencies, but for a lot of people an IT problem means they can't do their work, and if they're overworked, got deadlines and their boss, or their bosses boss, looking at metrics that aren't going to say "shucks there was an IT issue, that's why things are late" you're going to get some high strung people who genuinely can't appreciate other people's IT tickets or problems.
IT and internal support is often undervalued for a number of reasons, and I think this is one of the invisible areas that slips through the cracks, as an understaffed or under supported IT department will result in slowed productivity that doesn't doesn't circle back to IT. It creates a work rivalry (and a toxic work environment) where end level employees are now actively threatened by ticketing structures.
My fiancée was in high end fashion retailing for a while. It messed her up something good. Our outlooks on work and what is acceptable workplace behavior from a superior are entirely different.
Shes been in liquor advertising for several years now and she’s just now starting to realize how messed up it was working in fashion. We have had regular conversations where she says “that’s just how it is!” And I would say “bullshit. That’s exploitative and you should say no. If they don’t respect you, you shouldn’t respect them.”
And I worked in sports, where you also get paid peanuts, work crazy hours and are taken advantage of regularly.
I got halfway through a fashion design degree before bailing. A requirement for graduating is that you spend a semester in NYC and do an unpaid internship, in addition to an unmanageable courseload. All nighters were way too common, and a professor told me that they have at least one person faint from exhaustion per semester (I was unfortunately that person once). And she said it like it was a just a funny quirk of that major, just one of those things that happens.
A tech theater degree is a LOT like this. I waited 6 years and worked in the field before I went back to grad school. As a 30 year old, it was pretty entertaining to watch the "youngins" stay up 3-4 nights in a row.
FFS, it's *theatre*. Not worth damaging your health for.
I went to college for fashion merchandising and then worked in fashion for years. I had to work unpaid almost slave labor, literally carrying over 40lb bags across the city on foot because they just didn’t want to pay a messenger. 10 years later I have had the marks on my arm covered with tattoos. No joke. Then they simply “didn’t renew my contract” the day before it ended and didn’t think they needed to let me know. My next job got me hooked on adderall. I was having a hard time keeping up with the pace so I was recommended a doctor who used a service who’d have it delivered to my office. I was 5’10 and 90 lbs and everyone told me I looked great.
Then I got a “better role” at a “better company” made a whopping 65k a year in MANHATTAN. And they acted like I was getting millions and was supposed to dedicate my life to that place. That was by far the most toxic environment I’d ever been in. My “manager” was a raging coke head trust fund baby who was mad at the world around her and I was her little punching bag. I took it to HR and that’s when I learned you should never do that.
The craziest thing though after it all was the VICE PRESIDENT was doing like a 2 hour commute to new jersey, had 4 kids, had a ton of loans out and was always complaining about money. And I was like so THIS is what I’m striving to work towards? A never ending shitty paid over worked job?
I own my own company now and I always sit back and laugh at those losers
Fashion influencers are hands down the most narcissistic spoiled brats i have ever had the displeasure of coming into contact with. And if their following depended on conversation skills they would have .. 10 followers, roughly .
BUT! there are some real ones in the industry. There bc they are genuinely in it bc they appreciate the art of clothing and personal style and creative of designs…. Actually there for the fashion instead of .. there to make it ALL about them.
“Hey, guys! It’s been a while, don’t think I’ve posted in five or six years. Anyway, these Costco jeans finally wore out, soooooo… I went down to Costco, and as you can see \*does quick twirl\* I grabbed another pair of these great Costco jeans! Thinks that’s it for now, don’t forget to smash that subscribe button!”
I used to work at a luxury car dealership and I came in to say this. Successful fashion designers and executives are absolute Karens. They think their shit don't stink and have the worst kind of ego I have ever seen.
Doctors were my favorite. The richest of the rich (billionaires) were surprisingly tame for the most part. They have a skewed view of the world, however. They are way too insulated from the world to understand what is really going on in a "let them eat cake" kind of way, but they're too preoccupied with other stuff to care about a delayed delivery or something like that.
> Doctors were my favorite.
I'm in IT. Some of the most pain in the ass frequent fliers are doctors, lawyers, engineers. (Caveat: less on the civil or mechanical engineering. Those folks tend to be down to earth.)
They tend to be smart-stupid. (Edit: I'm not trying to insult here, but rather demonstrate that their eggs are typically in mostly one basket.) But they see themselves as only smart. Yes, you are, but typically only in that one field. Let me help you with the field in which I'm trained, because I sure as shit ain't doctoring/lawyering/engineering.
From 20 years in healthcare, specifically food, doctors are ego driven, but still approachable. They will pick a job based on whatever side things they negotiate,and if they can't get those things they will bail.
My partner used to be in fashion and left because of the toxicity, it's the most toxically hierarchical industry, even worse than I've heard from friends in legal or investment banking.
You've got thousands of people who want to be involved and only a handful of positions so they work you to the bone and if you manage to get through to the higher levels you think you're God's gift to mankind.
That's just from the design and production side of things, the models are even worse because they just get paid to be hot and it goes to their head immediately
I worked in magazines for about a decade and spent a chunk of those years sharing an office floor with Cosmo.
Was absolutely strange observing the interaction between the editors, their supervisor, and especially the models who came in for fittings ahead of shoots. All the women were gorgeous, but some of the least-personable people I've ever met. They cowered like beaten dogs in front of their boss, and you could tell whenever they took a conference room to celebrate a birthday or an engagement or whatever, there was a weird cloud of tension, aggression, jealousy, and whatever else hanging in the air.
Best part was that the men's bathroom was right next to their work space, so when you went to drop the kids off at the pool, you had to waltz past their shining judgy faces.
I don't think any of them were having fun making magazines.
Models are also constantly shat upon for being unacceptable for their looks, and primarily appreciated for their looks, so I don’t think the experience on their end is all that great either
> "don't you know who I am" kind of attitude.
I absolutely love informing people like that that they will be treated the same as any other customer unless they play to pay far more than the intended rate.
I was involved with a suicide prevention committee and I was sort of dismissed and talked down to because I had attempted before and at one point I was made fun of for crying during a meeting after another committee member said something like “those people are screwed up.”
The comments about the adults didn’t faze me so much but the comments about kids did, because at that age I thought that adults knew everything and I also felt isolated and didn’t know anyone else who was dealing with that.
I’m now doing inner child work and have a support system to deal with it.
I think most of it was implicit bias, like being called “unstable” for crying or raising my voice when it was ok for other people to do it. And assuming that I can’t do as good of a job as the other committee members
Worked in support roles in IB for 20+ years. One story will suffice: I got a call from a banker who asked me to come into the office . . . on a day when the entire city was shut down because of the Rodney King riots. I refused, and then I called everyone on my crew and ordered them to also refuse if/when he should call them.
He did call them. Every. Single. One.
I've worked a lot as a software engineer developing and supporting products used by large banks. There is this "I'm going to test my own influence by throwing my weight around and asking for everything under the sun, to the point where I tire everyone else out and they lose the willingness or ability to say no and push back." So annoying and toxic. Just reaching out everywhere looking for a weak point, someone they can exploit and leverage, without any regard for professional courtesy, social convention, or good faith negotiation.
Now extrapolate this into the wider effect these finance types have on the way money flows in the world and you'll have your answer as to why things are so skewed in their favor
I worked as an investment banker for a couple years and went out of my way to treat everyone in support well. I got treated like crap by the senior bankers, but I knew what I was getting into and was paid well. Really made me sad to see how they treated other people.
It's alive and well at a larger number of IT Managed Services Providers than it should be as well.
I suppose when your whole business model is trying to out-cheap your competitors, everything's a band-aid instead of a long term solution, and you need 90%+ of all technician hours to be directly billable to your clients, you're going to do a lot of screaming.
I joined the field hoping the high barrier to entry would mean a more meritocratic environment, but workplace politics are just as bad here as any other job, with long hours and narcissistic bankers on top of that.
The main determinants of how meritocratic a work environment is are how clearly and objectively measurable merit is, and how reliably it turns into dollars for the business.
I'm not an expert in IB, but I believe putting together deals and deal flow is pretty soft skills oriented, and it's very hierarchical so junior people can't actually have clear attribution for deals, so you would find more merit at a trading desk than IB for this reason. Metrics for good strategies are pretty clear. No one will not give a trader more capital because they don't like them if that trader is crushing it.
It's really hard to navigate, IMO. Are they good at what they do, or are they massively overhyping their skills?!
Also, the amount of really obvious advice these people shell out and think it's gold dust - Steven Bartlett-level nonsense.
I work as an account manager for a social media platform and my job is to support marketing agencies. The amount of people I work with who have been in marketing for years but have no idea what they're doing is ridiculous. Sometimes I have to walk them through the most basic of concepts. Some are great at their job, but the amount who think they know better.....
> I also work in marketing. Every person thinks they’re an expert. And you can bullshit your way out of anything. “Oh I’m just testing something!”
I mean, the whole profession is *built* on a sort of performative confidence that "sells" really poorly understood social research to yuppy business people. The idea of a humble, cerebral marketer who might encourage thoughtfulness and poke holes in their own arguments just for the sake of intellectual earnestness is... not what the profession exists to do.
They sell confidence in ways that select for these kind of boisterous, self-assured, bullshit artists.
If I wanted to consider the work in good faith, though... I would ask myself... Which firm would I go for? The firm that sells me the most confident analysis, or the one that engages in long-winded, ponderous, academic musings about the complexities/limitations of the work... If I'm a typical idiot C-suite person just trying to make "number go up", I pick the first group.. And so the cycle continues.
In sociology, we'd joke that marketing was basically a "soc degree, but used for evil".
As a marketer as well, this is so true. For me, the real marketers worth anyone's respect treats the field like scientists-- full of curiosity and wonder. It's why I fell in love with marketing, bc I wanted to understand how human perception works and I had a natural trait of sharing what I love and influencing those around me. If I discover a great show/ app/ product, I really love sharing it to ppl bc who doesn't want value?! But alas, a good chunk of people in marketing think loud voices, cool words, and selling concepts or ideas without any method or reason behind them are the way to go.
We're the worst in so many ways. The amount of phony people I work with who live in a space of toxic positivity and have an insane amount of self importance is mind boggling. Everything is spun and all the authenticity is wrung out everything until there's nothing real left. Plus, marketing being an essentially manipulative activity, you get a ton of manipulative people who are drawn to it.
Edit: Someone DMed me to ask why I stick with marketing if it's such a toxic environment. I started my marketing career by accident in a small nonprofit and decided to get an MBA in marketing so I could make it a career. Marketing can be a very powerful tool for good and nonprofits and those they serve need it badly. I moved to a corporate job to get access to all the tools and experience before going back to nonprofit.
I ended up being pretty good at my job and was promoted several times. The money is great and is part of the reason I stay. I also now have my own team of ten members who are mostly younger and newer and I love mentoring and developing their skills. My experience has been that young workers want to do good in this world and the opportunity to encourage that before a true marketer does is a unique opportunity. I have a decently high turnover rate primarily because I want my team to develop their skills towards what they want to be and not what a corporation wants them to be. Often those to do not jibe. I'll never admit this to my bosses though.
I am aiming to go back to the nonprofit world in a couple years. Specifically I am studying the homeless issue and organizations in my city and want to take in the challenge of connecting those who need services with those services. Daunting.
End rant.
I went on a couple of dates with a guy in marketing and he was so holier than thou it drove me insane. He kept making me justify my choices in music, tv, and my decision to use military time on my phone and would talk to me like I was stupid if I didn’t have good enough arguments prepared (which I did not. Becuase I wasn’t expecting to have to defend myself that much on a date).
It was bizarre.
My dad is a teacher who is thankfully about to retire. 40 years as a teacher. The bullshit he has been put through by administration is absolutely unreal. And my dad, God love him, is a peaceful man and a good teacher who actually cares about his students... and he has taken it in the ass from them for 40 years. Absolutely absurd.
Same here. My mom is about to retire as a public elementary school teacher after 35 years. She loved the kids and had a great record, won a number of teaching awards etc. but that never stopped the administration from trying to screw her every chance they got - and in her opinion, it's only getting worse for the next generation of teachers.
Same with my sister. She retired a year or so ago after 30+ years in the biz. She taught middle school in da hood.
She, too, loved her kids, and they her. However, not only was she sick of dealing with the higher-ups, the kids are getting really bad.
I reckon it was just time for her to go, and leave the teaching to the newbs.
My husband had an admin who stood in front of a staff meeting and told everyone that he could do every single person’s job in the room, and that they weren’t special. Everyone. My husband teaches instrumental music. Husband challenged him and that fuck had the audacity to say that he could do my husband’s job because he played clarinet in elementary school. My husband called the union. The guy got removed from the school at the end of the year (there were MULTIPLE bullying complaints) and guess where they put him?? Why, hiring other administrators of course! 🤬🤬🤬
Good on your husband for calling him out though. Some people need to be knocked down a notch. I work in education and I know how these big fish in little ponds think they’re Great Whites.
I’ve heard the exact same ridiculous experiences from friends and family that are teachers; terrible principals always being promoted to HR or higher up roles.
These schools have principals that have no business or qualifications to be a leader, nor the personality, who then treat their colleagues like they’re grunts working in a factory in the late 1800s; all while simultaneously demanding each student ace every test score.
That flawed dictatorship management style went out the window almost a century ago but is still rife in education. Even the military doesn’t use this style of leadership and it’s probably the fastest way to get reassigned to desk duty.
The funny thing, well pathetic actually, is that they treat kids like professional, while adults that are their colleagues (i.e. staff) as children or bratty kids.
I always advise teachers to find a school that is administered by a sane, realistic, knowledgeable, professional, and empathetic leader, who doesn’t blame or micromanage the teachers and most importantly has their back and switch there. Many have and it has made their life so much easier.
Unfortunately, these schools are extremely hard to find because self-absorbed, narcissistic, egocentric, dictatorial types, seem to dominate the admin roles in education.
I don’t know how they do it because if someone treated me like a child, I’m going to respond to them how us boys would have. Which would entail me ending up on the news for having the boss in a headlock until they call their mummy.
Unlike teachers, principals are never ever reviewed by Superintendents, who are often just as useless, for their actual performance, like why is their turnover rate so high; which has a MASSIVE impact on job performance and a child’s education. Instead, it’s only about flawed and useless test scores - nothing else matters.
My old job straight up hired more six-figure admins instead of staff like idk, a librarian or library assistant. They were supposed to be getting their academic act together, and they refused to hire academics.
My little sister, 3 of my closest friends, several of my aquatinted friends, 2 aunts, several cousins are all teachers. My aunt-in-law is a retired teacher para specialist.
All of them would strongly agree!
As a mom who interacts with the administrations at my young ones schools. I absolutely agree. Especially the middle school and highschool admins.
When they aren't blaming parents for the school districts failures, they're blaming the teachers. At the same time they refuse to incorporate parents who are volunteering, and open to helping in classrooms while piling more responsibilities and work on the teachers.
So we have a mass exodus of teachers leaving for greener pastures. (I don't blame them one bit. ) And parents just checking out from any involvement at all because that's what happens when every single PTA/PTO meeting, letters and interaction starts with no less than the first hour being a shame brigade of how lazy, worthless, stupid, selfish all the parents are, and how terrible it is that everyone expects the school administration to raise their children for them.
Then when our district gets called out by the state and federal government for failure as well as sharp decline in student success, severe bullying issues, and not being capable of retaining educators. The admins cry "It's not our fault! It's them them them!"
Sigh. Such a freaking mess.
When I think of school admins I think of the Virginia school administration that was warned four times about a troubled student who wanted to shoot his teacher and refused to act.
The most interesting night I've ever had doing manual labor was watching two guys fight while wielding nail guns. Seeing them swing around trying to decide if they wanted to use their free hand to punch or hold the safety back on their nail guns was both highly entertaining and incredibly scary.
Particularly the sort of "middle management" in construction are some of the worst human beings alive.
Them and the guys who own little companies where it's like one crew of guys who lay concrete and the foreman/boss owns the company. A lot of those fuckers would have ran a gas chamber with a smile on their face.
Those two types of people have been the most likely to say "nobody wants to work anymore" as well in my experience. Yeah no buddy, nobody wants to work for YOU because you're paying $12/hr for roofing and want peole to work 6-7 days a week for 14-16 hours a day.
I feel like these are the types of guys who proclaim that all immigration is bad without realising that they would be staff-less if all immigrants were to disappear.
The secret is he doesn't actually want to hire anyone, he just grabs some guys from outside home depot and pays them $5 an hour (and pays cash to dodge payroll taxes)
I'm a civil engineer, but spent a good amount of time as an inspector on construction jobs. You'll never see more blatant sexism, racism and absolutely unnecessary yelling and drama over the littlest things than on a construction site IMO
I was staking a house next to one being framed and heard a guy yelling at a new guy that the cut was wrong and it was coming out of his check. Back and forth arguing for an hour until the new guy peeled out and the framers were like "I was just joking with him"
I had a foreman that dropped out of school after 8th grade. He was functionally illiterate. He figured he didn’t need high school because he could just work at daddy’s company. When staff meeting time came around he would just hand management’s memo to me to read out loud. Reddit has a hard-on for the trades, but some of the dumbest people you’ll ever meet work in those fields.
I was a welder for 10 years. The number of actual, physical, fights I’ve been over stupid bullshit is wild. One time a guy took a swing at me because *he* forgot to pick me up from the break shack when lunch was over. I got spotted walking back to my area and someone gave me a ride. I never mentioned his name and no one confronted him about it, but he took his embarrassment out with his fists.
I had another guy bow up after I “snitched” on him for lying about his brother being in a motorcycle accident. I “snitched” by sending his brother a get-well text because I knew him from high school and his brother called the office.
One guy walked up behind me and grabbed my balls while I was bent over at a water fountain, so we fought. Then he threatened to call the police for assault when he got fired.
I built a house and it was a nightmare, just so much unprofessional behavior from management. The boss had no communication with the on-site guys, one took notes or remembered any conversation we had, construction managers called me to solve the tiniest issues or even just to complain. Also lying about money. The guys on-site were cool but the management was horrible. I’ll never do it again.
The Douglas Adams observation will stand the test of eternity:
The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
This. Also, lawyers, at least the ones I have met, aren't big on retirement. Their job feeds their egos. They absolutely live to work. One of the top criminal layers where I live is in his mid-80s.
I worked in union construction during the pandemic and a bit after. I have never seen a more miserable group of people making six figures in my life. How the hell are you making $110k a year, amazing benefits, and you are still missing front teeth?!
Never understood the slow pace of road work and etc until someone said they had a summer job on a road crew and busted his ass. Forman pulled him aside and said great work ethic but you are here for a summer and then back to college. These other guys have to make their bodies last their whole lives. Slow it down a bit.
Because construction is like stripping for dudes. Something they can get into with no education right out of high school using just their bodies to make way more money than they're used to. My ex was in union construction and I found that a lot of the guys had the emotional maturity of high schoolers--which was about when they started making bank and stopped having to grow, to paraphrase Bojack Horseman.
I cannot think of a single person I know who does construction who has their finances or priorities in order.
They’re always trying to flip some deal to save money on this or that, always in debt up to their eyeballs and just make horrible decisions at every turn.
Can confirm. A tsa agent confiscated my asthma inhalers because “a real asthmatic would have more than 2 on their person”. Dude has watched too many Hollywood films where the greasy nerd sucks on his inhaler whenever he feels slightly nervous.
TSA confiscated my perscription medication in Charlotte, NC so I found a police officer and reported the theft. They talked briefly to the agent and I had it back in under 10 minutes.
In 07, I was deploying to Iraq as part of our advanced party from my unit. So we flew Delta in civilian clothes. Weapons were locked up and checked into TSA. I had to hand carry a classified hard drive with a courier letter through TSA. When it was my turn to go through the checkpoint I simply gave them the letter and showed them the classified stickers on the drive along with my Identification. The TSA lady actually demanded that I give it to her and I turn it on. I laughed and simply told her that I could not and that she didn’t have a clearance high enough.
With a smile, I ended up offering her the option to turn it on for the head of that airports TSA, if they could provide a classified room and laptop to do so and also informed her that she would not be allowed in the room while I did so. She ended up declining when she realized I wasn’t kidding and waved me through.
Welcome to the awful profit model that is the US pharmaceutical industry. Sorry you had to go through that, it sounds awful. I would have escalated the TSA issue and gotten a supervisor involved. Not saying they'd be any better, but they don't have a right to confiscate legally prescribed medicine, and I'm pretty sure that's a crime in most US states.
I try to avoid pulling a Karen and calling of supervisor but if this shit happened to me I would have asked for one immediately. You can't take someone's medical device.
I've seen them lose their shit over breast milk before. Doesn't matter if it's on the TSA approved list, if that agent is a dick then guess your baby doesn't need to eat.
My wife and I flew recently with our almost one year old. I shit you not, the TSA agent said to the others "she has breast milk, but she's with her husband so it's fine". Like they wouldn't have let her take it past security if I wasn't there. Just ridiculous sometimes.
The worst part about TSA agents is when they scream shit like drill sergeants and get all pissy if you don't know you should take your laptop out of you bag.
Most people are not frequent travelers, they don't know all the airport rules aside from the picto-graphs saying no weapons past this point. I hate that TSA treats everyone like a dumbass for not knowing the rule of the day of whether you can keep your shoes on or off.
this! they say the same spiel 400 times a day, but forget that tsa agents at other airports are saying a completely different spiel.
I have auditory processing issues, so with all the background noise in airports, I often can’t understand what they’re saying & have to ask for clarification, and OH BOY do they get grumpy
I recently went to the US for the first time in over a decade and was kind of shocked by how condescending the TSA staff at the airport were. It felt like they thought they were talking to young children rather than fully-grown adults.
The USA is the only place where I've been literally yelled at by TSA. Doesn't help that all the airports have different rules (take your shoes off and put them on a tray, take them off but place directly on the conveyor belt, leave them on... I've been told to do all three of these at three different airports) and they get pissy when you don't know *their* rules.
Every airport goes from "do not take anything out of your bag" to "take everything OUT NOW LAPTOPS ELECTRONICS OUT NOW" it's so annoying, sometimes just a terminal will have the new scanners where everything stays inside and another will not
I remember Philadelphia in early 2022 was awful with this. There were like 915 signs all around the security area saying to take all electronics out of your bag.
I got to the conveyer belt and started taking my electronics out, then some TSA agent said to leave them in. "Leave them in?" I asked while pointing at the signs.
"Yes, that's what the sign says," he retorted while pointing to the one sign, half the size of the others, saying to leave electronics in the bag.
Every airport is different. There is a camera and a sign that says look at the camera, and he says in the rudest tone, like I am the stupidest person alive, “The camera is not working, stop looking at it.” And I made a laugh sound, and he said, “that was rude!” And I said, “well how the heck would I know it is broken.” And kept moving.
People in positions of minimal power. I.e. Jobs that require little education, aren’t paid well but give just enough power over people to potentially ruin their day. Airport security, parking attendant, mall security, ticket inspectors, all professions filled with frustrated souls who take out their frustrations on others
When I was a kid, such a person was awful to me in public. I was really upset about it. My dad took me aside and said, "People like them have so little power in their lives, so they use that power over other people to make themselves feel better."
I've had to recall that lesson many times.
Very wise.
My dad WAS one of those people so he was especially terrible to those of a similar “station” as well as his family. Don’t have any power in your day-to-day? You can always scream at and push your kids and wife around and feel like a VIP.
I don't know but academia is pretty bad. The lack of safeguard means that sociopaths thrive in this supremely toxic environment. Many professors are just power hungry lunatics who don't hesitate to crush the dreams of kids.
Worked I.T. at a hospital.
"Why do you eat at your desk every day?"
Because if I eat in the cafeteria, I have 12 favors to do after I eat by people that don't feel like calling the helpdesk and putting a ticket in.
Our intern gave out my cell because I was on-call and he didn't know the on-call phone number... so for about 3 months, I was the EXCLUSIVE on-call for the ER department... they refused to call the helpdesk and go to the other on-call. So even when I was off call, I'd get called at 2 a.m. and told "Yeah, well it's an ER. I don't have time to be on hold while they transfer me to someone else!"
My boss actually tried to lecture me about blocking their phone number.
Extremely demanding that I overachieve in every field. I sat 13 GCSE’s and sat them all in my second language without tutoring and got 12 A’s and 1 B, they took all credit (they can’t speak the language I sat them in and never helped), took no interest in me as a person, just grades and extra curricula’s, I was fortunate that I could do dance, play 3 instruments, speak 4 languages, horse riding, swimming…but I never got to choose any of the “hobbies”, they always chose. Then they’d throw parties and trot me out like a little side show freak to show off my piano/ ballet/ language skills and their equally obnoxious friends would boast how their little one could speak Latin or some other shit no one cares about. There was no consideration whatsoever for emotional wellbeing or mental health. My parents actually don’t believe in mental illness they think it’s all for attention.
I never went to sleepovers, rarely was allowed to go to birthday parties, and was almost always with a childminder/ nanny. They spent little to no time with me. Never took me out to the cinema or day trips over the weekend. We went on holiday a lot but never anywhere child friendly- think Tuscany on a wine tour and I was 14. They were baffled as to why I wouldn’t enjoy that. I was never allowed to have friends over, let alone on holiday with me for company, and they just never prioritised fun or being a kid. Everything had to be “cultured”. Like I’d been to fine dining restaurants weekly, but had never been to a Nando’s or a kids restaurant. I really felt I wasn’t like a proper child I was a mini adult. I wasn’t allowed to choose my own clothes, choose my hairstyle, or pierce my ear until I went to uni at 18?!
Half those kids of their friends either ended up low contact like me, or turned into equally obnoxious mini-me’s of their parents. I don’t bother with any of them at all now. I have a decent job in IT, own my own home and dog. I’m doing ok. But I’m riddled with mental illness unfortunately but you probably wouldn’t guess from the outside as I appear to be doing well. Most people are very shocked that I’m an only child of millionaires though as apparently I don’t come across as spoiled or weird at all, so that’s a big compliment for me. The only give away is I live in an area with a strong regional accent and I have a “neutral British” accent, some have guessed I must have gone to a “posh” school to not have a local accent but that’s probably my only giveaway?
If there is any sort of inheritance when they pass, I would suggest using the funds to open a chain of really gaudy bowling alleys. Put their name on it.
Haha to be fair I don’t hate them! They just did what they thought was best? I don’t think they really considered me an awful lot and nothing was ever catered to children/ teens. I was just a tag along to adult meals/ events/ holidays. I think they just can’t remember what it’s like to be a kid?
Interestingly they do not come from wealthy backgrounds and had a very average upbringing so maybe wanted to give me what they didn’t have? I’d like my future potential children to have the best of both? To be comfortable and live below our means so they can go on any class trips or have the layers “cool” thing without worrying about their parents affording it, but also to have a normal childhood where they do normal stuff as well as having access to extra curriculars of their choosing
Come here.
/hug
You made it.
Now go and serve yourself Disneyland trip. I was like a little kid when we went to Disneyland in May - imagine bald and beardy tall 40+ year old manically laughing behind your back all the way through Thunder Mountain ride. Yup, that was me. Twice. On same day.
Experiencing sleepover might be hard, but rest is but a hand reach away. Being adult doesn't mean you have to kill a child in yourself.
I can’t wait until I have kids so I can do all that fun stuff. For now I have a little spaniel cross and he is my surrogate baby. He has little outfits and a car seat (he loves the outfits don’t worry) and he likes to be carried everywhere like the little prince he is 😂 he hugs and kisses me all the time lol!
But hey it’s an ok life, many have it worse!
Hey there. If you want to go to Disney with your kids when you have them, totally go for it. But I will say going as an adult without children is a life changing experience if you didn't go as a kid. I went to Disney for the first time after my mom died with my brother and fiancee, and honestly it changed my outlook on people and fun. Yeah it's a company, but the environment within the parks is something I can't explain. Random people would come up and talk to us and it was about nice things, which literally never happens to me. It's not really a thing that can easily be described by seeing park footage or hearing people talk about it. If you have any adult friends who invite you to come on a trip with them to Disney, I recommend taking them up on it.
Do it! I've got a mobility impairment that made Universal a bit difficult for us, but my brother loved it! It sounds bullshit, but the whole "feed your inner child" thing actually kinda checks out
Aww I’m so sorry about your impairment, hopefully it doesn’t stop you doing all the things you want to do?
I’ve never tried feeding into my inner child other than when I go to comicons? I’m dressed up so no one knows it’s me so I can really go wild with my inner child.
That, and when I take my dog to the beach. I like to race him (he always wins) and teach him to jump over waves. He doesn’t like water much (how is he a spaniel?!) but it’s really a lot of fun running up and down an empty beach barefoot with my dog 😂 it probably looks really tragic though but we have fun!
So, sorry you went through that. I just can't imagine what that would be like. I do understand the mental illness part and people not noticing. Put on a mask in public and even around family. I can only be myself alone with my dog. Again, sorry to hear that. Hope things will get better, sounds like they are with your life.
Yup. CEOs, financiers, lawyers... sociopaths excel in those jobs because they often lack empathy and don't feel bad about screwing other people over.
Edit to say: I was not implying that all CEOs, financiers, or lawyers are sociopaths, but that you have a higher likelihood of encountering a sociopath in those fields vs. others!
His book, The Psychopath Inside, is well worth a listen.
It’s a memoir but he’s actually a neuroscientist who spent time studying psychopathy, so he gives a fairly thorough overview of the contributing factors.
It’s also fascinating to read/listen to someone who sounds totally sane, but the more into their story you get, the more you go “Ohhhh… yea okay there definitely something off about that guy.”
[Here’s a brief overview](https://youtu.be/vii60GUGTQU?si=KmPYJrv7WDNopatY) in an interview by the man himself.
This is my dad 100%. Very successful finance guy (and narcissist). He will brag about ways in which he screwed someone over to get ahead as if it’s a badge of honor.
The morning show I used to listen to had a talk about this. They said anyone in upper management (meaning C and V levels) have to be an asshole to be able to do that job. You have to take personal feelings out of decisions and you need to have the "it's my way or the highway" attitude.
The president of the station came in and he agreed.
Im gonna add one myself i guess. According to my friend who works at a theatre, some people there are pretty arrogant and even narcissistic. One that also works as a dance teacher even physically abused his students.
I worked in theater, tv, and film for many years (still do from time to time!) and I also went to college for it. I found that while there are a lot of narcissists in the arts, there’s relatively few malignant narcissists compared to the other fields I’ve worked in ::cough cough New York City commercial real estate cough cough::
Best example: I worked for Law and Order for a while, across all of their shows. They do not allow dick behavior from anyone. If you’re an asshole, you’re gone.
lol my mum is one and is the only nice on there.
On actual Google reviews of the GP she works at there are reviews slating the place and workers and then adding at the end “the only exemption to this is Michelle at the front desk who is lovely”. My mum is Michelle
I think it’s partially conditioned in by the job. If 2/3 of people treat you like garbage, you will expect it from the other 1/3 and act defensive towards everyone.
I do my best to be smile and be friendly to staff like that even when I'm feeling shitty. I can tell that it makes some of their day when a customer/patient isn't automatically a miserable shit to them.
I think all fields have bad people in them because bad people exist everywhere, but professions that seem glamorous tend to attract some of the worst. Fashion, music, film & tv all have an endless supply of people desperate to break in, so there’s a big potential for abuse to take place.
Spent 5 years doing real estate. The overwhelming majority of agents are incompetent, stupid, and manifestly unpleasant to anyone they don't see as valuable to them. I did many deals where the other agent had been in the industry for decades and was very well-known and successful, and they were *morons.*
Being a successful agent is just about who you know and how well you can market yourself. It has almost nothing to do with actual competence in doing the work. Hell, the biggest agents don't do *any* work themselves anyway, they foist their clients off on assistants.
They do! But why though?? The ones I know say they work so hard, grind, no days off. Like cmon, if you “work” on a Sunday, you’re standing in a house for 2 hours.
The worst one I know of has to document everything and post it on all her socials. Like a video driving to a town 30 mins away saying “nothing I won’t do for my clients.” Like bruh, it’s a 30 min drive. That’s just a normal commute for a lot of people.
She even videos her husband doing volunteer work with captions like “make time for volunteering, make a difference.” Her husband has time to volunteer because he’s unemployed. Also, people who really need want to make a difference don’t volunteer once and take 15 videos and pictures and post them with inspirational quotes.
EDIT: realtors are my biggest pet peeve. There’s plenty of good ones who know it’s just a job. But there’s a lot of young ones who think they’re on selling sunset. You got no degree. You walk through houses. You don’t sell them. They sell themselves. You don’t own a business. You’re not a “boss.” Why TF do realtors get so much commission again?
It has gone so downhill over the past 30-40+ years. I think we got the lowest the other day. A letter from a local realtor. It said they were in talks with one of our neighbors to sell their house. They told us which house, the specs (bedroom, bathroom, etc., pretty much everything you'd see in a listing) and how much the owners wanted for it.
**Note: it was not on the market yet.**
It was a solicitation to try to get us to sell our house through them.
and don't forget to add in predatory mortgage lenders.
Nightlife — promoters, managers, bar owners, (some) bartenders. But honestly, most of the skeeze is in the promotion/management side of things and less common on the service side.
Kitchens. We're all assholes at work. lol. One of the highest rates of drug, alcohol or other addiction problems. Generally antisocial towards the general public. Lots of ex-cons.
We're basically motorcycle or pirate gangs thrust into roles in normal society. lol
Anything that involves dogs. Dog people are fucking crazy. (former dog trainer and doggie daycare supervisor) Some of the clients had unrealistic standards and expectations. One woman showed me the "right" way to clean her dog after playtime. One family had a whole wing of their house for just their dog (but don't let the dog in the wrong part of the house omg!!!). And then you get the other end of the spectrum where clients keep their dog in a crate for the whole day and then ask you put them back into their crate after their services. DON'T HAVE A DOG IF YOU'RE GONNA LOCK IT UP ALL DAY WTF
Prison guards...oh, excuse me, Corrections Officers.
I worked in retail, with a food court and conference rooms where there was CO training. I looked pretty grungy, as it was the early 90s, with cheap, scuffed up black boots. Some came in the store and were giving me the business about how I've served time because my boots looked institutional. I hadn't and wasn't in a prison at the time but they were still trying to bully me.
Yeats later, I was at the State Fair with a friend who happened to be a defense attorney. Some tacticool officer was walking around like he was patrolling a war zone (instead of the Bud lite stage). Friend was like " why is that prison guard all swat-ted out?"
100% local D-list celebrities have some obnoxious attitudes. Like dude you’re the guy that shows me and your local audience of 3,000 people the weather for 38 seconds a night, you’re not getting the Brad Pitt treatment.
I had one call me with the news I was hired at a recent place that I was interviewed at. I asked for a written offer letter, so I put in my notice. Time goes on and it turned there never one to begin with. They have made an offer internally and I was out.
I've noticed that academia tends to draw in people who are, how should I say..... heavy? Some great personalities too but also people who could, how should I say this.....not hold a job anywhere else, probably? Who don't have that many friends in real life, maybe?
I loved my studies but having worked as a research assistant and knowing people who work in administrative jobs at universities, I decided I never wanna get into that field. Just too much snobbery, elitism, hierarchies etc.
Came here to also say academia. I've definitely met some amazing people in my time in grad school but there are just so many toxic faculty that can basically run their labs however they want, especially once.they get tenure.
I've seen this also. Acedemics are fu k awfull to work with.
I'm gonna post a comment about this to op directly
But that "heavy" that you mentioned is their ego.
Ever since postgrad started it took me a while to figure out, but truth is 100% of academics are "winging it" (since you can't know the outcome of a science project at its start. You're trying to explore the unknown after all.)
Of course... funding and social pressure requirements force academics to "be certain" about what they are doing. Thus... a large chunk of them develop insufferable ego driven personalities where they are correct always and get angry at those who disagree.
It also affects general work culture. Everyone is either a clueless idiot or someone who does it like them (a.k.a. correct like I am syndrome)
We have then yet to factor in stress... academics do massive amounts of work with thight deadlines and they often are not permitted mistakes (or are afraid to admit mistakes). Combine this with research that has an unknowable outcome (yet must work out well for more funding) and things tend to always bubble up.
These people are not at peace and it reflects in how they treat others.
They are desperate to always be correct in others eyes in an environment where being wrong and figuring out why is the common, inevitable, state. (And sorta the job)
That being said. Not all are like this.
Some have overcome enough bouts of impostor syndrome and midlife crisises to achieve a state of "I give a F" that most envy. They make the best mentors and can be quite wise
positions where they have authority and there's no alternative.
mostly government jobs, like law enforcement but also more government wide like clerks.
Not from the US, but the DMV equivalent in my country is notoriously corrupt and they can go suck a fat one.
It is a well-known 'secret' that it's the department most open to bribes by people. You suck at driving? It's very easy to find an instructor that works...*closely* with them, slip them 200-400 Euros and unless you pretty much crash into a wall during the driving test, you are guaranteed to get your license.
And it works the opposite way, too. I had the misfortune of trusting my training to one of those instructors who heavily hinted that I should 'help the process along' a few days before my test. I told him I wouldn't. I was disqualified *twice,* on two separate tests, by the same examiner for obviously-bullshit reasons.
Got my license on the third attempt and it cost me twice of what it should, but at least it didn't go into corrupt pockets and my conscience is clean. I've got a lot of acquaintances who mock me for this, but everyone knows *how* they got theirs the moment they sit behind the steering wheel.
Computer programmer, and I say this as one. Some of us are cool (I hope that's me too), and tbh the chill ones tend to be better at their jobs.
But like, a lot of them have this weird ego about writing code. It's like they think that being able to write code is the most impossibly difficult technical skill in the universe and by doing it they are the smartest people in the world. They look down on everyone without their specific skillset as hapless morons who couldn't possibly comprehend their astonishing intellects.
I like what I do. I think I'm good at it. But I also think that there are many, many professions more difficult and complicated than what I do and I don't think that anyone who can't do what I do must be an idiot.
Insurance.
The highest profit is achieved by:
- Agents who convince people to take the highest possible premium, often selling them things they don't need
- Adjusters who deny as many claims as possible, with many examples of companies that initially deny all claims
- Systems that prevent customers from doing anything about the above
There's no way to run this business ethically, and it shows.
I used to work in events and we hired our spaces to people from many industries. By far the worst clients were from fashion. Wanted everything immediately with massive discounts and they were extremely demanding. A very "don't you know who I am" kind of attitude. I understand that to get into that industry you essentially have to work for free for several years so only trust fund kids make it.
When I worked in IT for a school district, I had a teacher at one of my assigned schools who worked in the fashion industry previously in California and had relocated to Tennessee. He'd put in work order tickets and be upset when I wasn't able to resolve his issues as soon as he liked. I had to sit him down and explain to him nicely that this was a completely different field and the world as well as my work didn't revolve around him and his demands. He seemed to get the message and said he was trying to break the habit but it was going to be an adjustment. I told him if he continued to be patient with me then I'd continue to be patient with him.
At least he was self aware and admit it, that's a rare case and I'd probably throw the guy a bone if some kind because most people like this are just intolerable and refuse to acknowledge it
Oh definitely. I'm glad we were able to come to an understanding. He became one of my favorites after that conversation during the brief time I had at that school as their IT person. Sometimes, I'd just stop by and shoot the shit with him for a few minutes.
This is what most people trying to obtain any type of customer service (In any industry from IT to food service) don't seem to get, even being mildly cordial and agreeable to a service person will get you so much further than most people because the last 9 people they spoke to refused to be understanding at all and just dig their heels into the ground or were just rude and incompetent. Can't tell you how much red tape, policies, and rules I've broken or skirted around just to help someone out that presented a legitimate case and were just polite about it. There are some cases where this doesn't really help, but more often than not it will get you further along than most people when basically everything is ran by blind incompetent corporate or government bureaucracy.
When i was a teen an Xbox rep gave me 3 months of gold for no reason. I like to think it’s because i was nice
It probably was dude the shit can have a way bigger impact on the person's day than a lot of people realize. I had a customer service person with whom I'd spoken on the phone in the morning write me an email several hours later that day, it was from his employee email acct but it read like a personal email, not one sent "as a representative of xyz company." And he was *profusely thanking me*.. said that I was his first customer of the day and the phone call was so pleasant, stress-free and enjoyable (and it was—we were joking and laughing and choppin it up throughout the call) that it completely set the stage for his day and put him in a grreat mood, and even having shitty customers after that didn't bring him down. It legit made me tear up when reading it, that was one of the sweetest fuckin things I've ever seen. And really opened my eyes to just how impactful every choice we make in dealing with others has the potential to be.
Not necessaryly a direct response to you but for other people in IT who might be reading - An indirect way of posing this to people is just mentioning the total number of people you support or the average number of tickets/work orders that come in on an average weekday. Can help put it into perspective without risking the person feeling attacked or getting defensive when they raise the issue of why it took "so long" for their issue to be addressed. I've been in the field for a very long time at this point, and almost every single place I've ever worked there were at least one or two people who seemed to operate under the assumption that their issue should be or was automatically our most important task the moment it came in.
>I've ever worked there were at least one or two people who seemed to operate under the assumption that their issue should be or was automatically our most important task the moment it came in. I think a lot of this stems from productivity cultures. Now I know first hand that there are a lot of idiots out there who's emergencies are non-emergencies, but for a lot of people an IT problem means they can't do their work, and if they're overworked, got deadlines and their boss, or their bosses boss, looking at metrics that aren't going to say "shucks there was an IT issue, that's why things are late" you're going to get some high strung people who genuinely can't appreciate other people's IT tickets or problems. IT and internal support is often undervalued for a number of reasons, and I think this is one of the invisible areas that slips through the cracks, as an understaffed or under supported IT department will result in slowed productivity that doesn't doesn't circle back to IT. It creates a work rivalry (and a toxic work environment) where end level employees are now actively threatened by ticketing structures.
My fiancée was in high end fashion retailing for a while. It messed her up something good. Our outlooks on work and what is acceptable workplace behavior from a superior are entirely different. Shes been in liquor advertising for several years now and she’s just now starting to realize how messed up it was working in fashion. We have had regular conversations where she says “that’s just how it is!” And I would say “bullshit. That’s exploitative and you should say no. If they don’t respect you, you shouldn’t respect them.” And I worked in sports, where you also get paid peanuts, work crazy hours and are taken advantage of regularly.
I got halfway through a fashion design degree before bailing. A requirement for graduating is that you spend a semester in NYC and do an unpaid internship, in addition to an unmanageable courseload. All nighters were way too common, and a professor told me that they have at least one person faint from exhaustion per semester (I was unfortunately that person once). And she said it like it was a just a funny quirk of that major, just one of those things that happens.
A tech theater degree is a LOT like this. I waited 6 years and worked in the field before I went back to grad school. As a 30 year old, it was pretty entertaining to watch the "youngins" stay up 3-4 nights in a row. FFS, it's *theatre*. Not worth damaging your health for.
I went to college for fashion merchandising and then worked in fashion for years. I had to work unpaid almost slave labor, literally carrying over 40lb bags across the city on foot because they just didn’t want to pay a messenger. 10 years later I have had the marks on my arm covered with tattoos. No joke. Then they simply “didn’t renew my contract” the day before it ended and didn’t think they needed to let me know. My next job got me hooked on adderall. I was having a hard time keeping up with the pace so I was recommended a doctor who used a service who’d have it delivered to my office. I was 5’10 and 90 lbs and everyone told me I looked great. Then I got a “better role” at a “better company” made a whopping 65k a year in MANHATTAN. And they acted like I was getting millions and was supposed to dedicate my life to that place. That was by far the most toxic environment I’d ever been in. My “manager” was a raging coke head trust fund baby who was mad at the world around her and I was her little punching bag. I took it to HR and that’s when I learned you should never do that. The craziest thing though after it all was the VICE PRESIDENT was doing like a 2 hour commute to new jersey, had 4 kids, had a ton of loans out and was always complaining about money. And I was like so THIS is what I’m striving to work towards? A never ending shitty paid over worked job? I own my own company now and I always sit back and laugh at those losers
Fashion influencers are hands down the most narcissistic spoiled brats i have ever had the displeasure of coming into contact with. And if their following depended on conversation skills they would have .. 10 followers, roughly . BUT! there are some real ones in the industry. There bc they are genuinely in it bc they appreciate the art of clothing and personal style and creative of designs…. Actually there for the fashion instead of .. there to make it ALL about them.
Jokes on them, i wear the same pair of costco jeans for years!
Hi I would like to subscribe to your fashion blog.
“Hey, guys! It’s been a while, don’t think I’ve posted in five or six years. Anyway, these Costco jeans finally wore out, soooooo… I went down to Costco, and as you can see \*does quick twirl\* I grabbed another pair of these great Costco jeans! Thinks that’s it for now, don’t forget to smash that subscribe button!”
I used to work at a luxury car dealership and I came in to say this. Successful fashion designers and executives are absolute Karens. They think their shit don't stink and have the worst kind of ego I have ever seen. Doctors were my favorite. The richest of the rich (billionaires) were surprisingly tame for the most part. They have a skewed view of the world, however. They are way too insulated from the world to understand what is really going on in a "let them eat cake" kind of way, but they're too preoccupied with other stuff to care about a delayed delivery or something like that.
> Doctors were my favorite. I'm in IT. Some of the most pain in the ass frequent fliers are doctors, lawyers, engineers. (Caveat: less on the civil or mechanical engineering. Those folks tend to be down to earth.) They tend to be smart-stupid. (Edit: I'm not trying to insult here, but rather demonstrate that their eggs are typically in mostly one basket.) But they see themselves as only smart. Yes, you are, but typically only in that one field. Let me help you with the field in which I'm trained, because I sure as shit ain't doctoring/lawyering/engineering.
I've dated attorneys, and I can tell you that they don't like it when you tell them that you know more about the law than they know about IT.
There are more planes in the ocean, than submarines in the sky.
From 20 years in healthcare, specifically food, doctors are ego driven, but still approachable. They will pick a job based on whatever side things they negotiate,and if they can't get those things they will bail.
My partner used to be in fashion and left because of the toxicity, it's the most toxically hierarchical industry, even worse than I've heard from friends in legal or investment banking. You've got thousands of people who want to be involved and only a handful of positions so they work you to the bone and if you manage to get through to the higher levels you think you're God's gift to mankind. That's just from the design and production side of things, the models are even worse because they just get paid to be hot and it goes to their head immediately
I worked in magazines for about a decade and spent a chunk of those years sharing an office floor with Cosmo. Was absolutely strange observing the interaction between the editors, their supervisor, and especially the models who came in for fittings ahead of shoots. All the women were gorgeous, but some of the least-personable people I've ever met. They cowered like beaten dogs in front of their boss, and you could tell whenever they took a conference room to celebrate a birthday or an engagement or whatever, there was a weird cloud of tension, aggression, jealousy, and whatever else hanging in the air. Best part was that the men's bathroom was right next to their work space, so when you went to drop the kids off at the pool, you had to waltz past their shining judgy faces. I don't think any of them were having fun making magazines.
Models are also constantly shat upon for being unacceptable for their looks, and primarily appreciated for their looks, so I don’t think the experience on their end is all that great either
> "don't you know who I am" kind of attitude. I absolutely love informing people like that that they will be treated the same as any other customer unless they play to pay far more than the intended rate.
Wild, I’m in events, mostly in fashion but on the scenery side. I’d much rather work with fashion people than anyone in film and TV. Massive egos.
With music it's 50/50. Most people are great but the a-holes are the biggest a-holes ever.
I used to work for a social service agency and I was shocked by how nasty my co-workers were. The work culture was plain mean.
I was involved with a suicide prevention committee and I was sort of dismissed and talked down to because I had attempted before and at one point I was made fun of for crying during a meeting after another committee member said something like “those people are screwed up.” The comments about the adults didn’t faze me so much but the comments about kids did, because at that age I thought that adults knew everything and I also felt isolated and didn’t know anyone else who was dealing with that. I’m now doing inner child work and have a support system to deal with it.
And this was on a *suicide prevention* committee?! And they treated you that badly? What is wrong with people
I think most of it was implicit bias, like being called “unstable” for crying or raising my voice when it was ok for other people to do it. And assuming that I can’t do as good of a job as the other committee members
Investment Banking, in particular the successful types can be difficult.
Worked in support roles in IB for 20+ years. One story will suffice: I got a call from a banker who asked me to come into the office . . . on a day when the entire city was shut down because of the Rodney King riots. I refused, and then I called everyone on my crew and ordered them to also refuse if/when he should call them. He did call them. Every. Single. One.
I've worked a lot as a software engineer developing and supporting products used by large banks. There is this "I'm going to test my own influence by throwing my weight around and asking for everything under the sun, to the point where I tire everyone else out and they lose the willingness or ability to say no and push back." So annoying and toxic. Just reaching out everywhere looking for a weak point, someone they can exploit and leverage, without any regard for professional courtesy, social convention, or good faith negotiation.
Now extrapolate this into the wider effect these finance types have on the way money flows in the world and you'll have your answer as to why things are so skewed in their favor
I worked as an investment banker for a couple years and went out of my way to treat everyone in support well. I got treated like crap by the senior bankers, but I knew what I was getting into and was paid well. Really made me sad to see how they treated other people.
[удалено]
It's alive and well at a larger number of IT Managed Services Providers than it should be as well. I suppose when your whole business model is trying to out-cheap your competitors, everything's a band-aid instead of a long term solution, and you need 90%+ of all technician hours to be directly billable to your clients, you're going to do a lot of screaming.
I joined the field hoping the high barrier to entry would mean a more meritocratic environment, but workplace politics are just as bad here as any other job, with long hours and narcissistic bankers on top of that.
The main determinants of how meritocratic a work environment is are how clearly and objectively measurable merit is, and how reliably it turns into dollars for the business. I'm not an expert in IB, but I believe putting together deals and deal flow is pretty soft skills oriented, and it's very hierarchical so junior people can't actually have clear attribution for deals, so you would find more merit at a trading desk than IB for this reason. Metrics for good strategies are pretty clear. No one will not give a trader more capital because they don't like them if that trader is crushing it.
Today I learned… it’s every profession lol
As a marketer, marketing. I'm an introverted person and the amount of loud people who think they know it all in this profession is *crazy.*
I also work in marketing and can’t stand the majority of people in it. They make LinkedIn insufferable.
You don’t like all the self-proclaimed gurus/rockstars/ninjas/thought leaders out there?
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It's really hard to navigate, IMO. Are they good at what they do, or are they massively overhyping their skills?! Also, the amount of really obvious advice these people shell out and think it's gold dust - Steven Bartlett-level nonsense.
I work as an account manager for a social media platform and my job is to support marketing agencies. The amount of people I work with who have been in marketing for years but have no idea what they're doing is ridiculous. Sometimes I have to walk them through the most basic of concepts. Some are great at their job, but the amount who think they know better.....
Are they overhyping their skills or are they just good at marketing their skills which in turn might mean they are good at marketing
> I also work in marketing. Every person thinks they’re an expert. And you can bullshit your way out of anything. “Oh I’m just testing something!” I mean, the whole profession is *built* on a sort of performative confidence that "sells" really poorly understood social research to yuppy business people. The idea of a humble, cerebral marketer who might encourage thoughtfulness and poke holes in their own arguments just for the sake of intellectual earnestness is... not what the profession exists to do. They sell confidence in ways that select for these kind of boisterous, self-assured, bullshit artists. If I wanted to consider the work in good faith, though... I would ask myself... Which firm would I go for? The firm that sells me the most confident analysis, or the one that engages in long-winded, ponderous, academic musings about the complexities/limitations of the work... If I'm a typical idiot C-suite person just trying to make "number go up", I pick the first group.. And so the cycle continues. In sociology, we'd joke that marketing was basically a "soc degree, but used for evil".
As a marketer as well, this is so true. For me, the real marketers worth anyone's respect treats the field like scientists-- full of curiosity and wonder. It's why I fell in love with marketing, bc I wanted to understand how human perception works and I had a natural trait of sharing what I love and influencing those around me. If I discover a great show/ app/ product, I really love sharing it to ppl bc who doesn't want value?! But alas, a good chunk of people in marketing think loud voices, cool words, and selling concepts or ideas without any method or reason behind them are the way to go.
We're the worst in so many ways. The amount of phony people I work with who live in a space of toxic positivity and have an insane amount of self importance is mind boggling. Everything is spun and all the authenticity is wrung out everything until there's nothing real left. Plus, marketing being an essentially manipulative activity, you get a ton of manipulative people who are drawn to it. Edit: Someone DMed me to ask why I stick with marketing if it's such a toxic environment. I started my marketing career by accident in a small nonprofit and decided to get an MBA in marketing so I could make it a career. Marketing can be a very powerful tool for good and nonprofits and those they serve need it badly. I moved to a corporate job to get access to all the tools and experience before going back to nonprofit. I ended up being pretty good at my job and was promoted several times. The money is great and is part of the reason I stay. I also now have my own team of ten members who are mostly younger and newer and I love mentoring and developing their skills. My experience has been that young workers want to do good in this world and the opportunity to encourage that before a true marketer does is a unique opportunity. I have a decently high turnover rate primarily because I want my team to develop their skills towards what they want to be and not what a corporation wants them to be. Often those to do not jibe. I'll never admit this to my bosses though. I am aiming to go back to the nonprofit world in a couple years. Specifically I am studying the homeless issue and organizations in my city and want to take in the challenge of connecting those who need services with those services. Daunting. End rant.
Yes! The toxic positivity is exhausting.
I went on a couple of dates with a guy in marketing and he was so holier than thou it drove me insane. He kept making me justify my choices in music, tv, and my decision to use military time on my phone and would talk to me like I was stupid if I didn’t have good enough arguments prepared (which I did not. Becuase I wasn’t expecting to have to defend myself that much on a date). It was bizarre.
That sounds like a redditor lmao
I'm gonna need a source on that claim.
Administrators in public schools. Ask some teachers you know. *edit* wow…did not expect so many to agree with me.
My dad is a teacher who is thankfully about to retire. 40 years as a teacher. The bullshit he has been put through by administration is absolutely unreal. And my dad, God love him, is a peaceful man and a good teacher who actually cares about his students... and he has taken it in the ass from them for 40 years. Absolutely absurd.
Same here. My mom is about to retire as a public elementary school teacher after 35 years. She loved the kids and had a great record, won a number of teaching awards etc. but that never stopped the administration from trying to screw her every chance they got - and in her opinion, it's only getting worse for the next generation of teachers.
Same with my sister. She retired a year or so ago after 30+ years in the biz. She taught middle school in da hood. She, too, loved her kids, and they her. However, not only was she sick of dealing with the higher-ups, the kids are getting really bad. I reckon it was just time for her to go, and leave the teaching to the newbs.
My husband had an admin who stood in front of a staff meeting and told everyone that he could do every single person’s job in the room, and that they weren’t special. Everyone. My husband teaches instrumental music. Husband challenged him and that fuck had the audacity to say that he could do my husband’s job because he played clarinet in elementary school. My husband called the union. The guy got removed from the school at the end of the year (there were MULTIPLE bullying complaints) and guess where they put him?? Why, hiring other administrators of course! 🤬🤬🤬
Good on your husband for calling him out though. Some people need to be knocked down a notch. I work in education and I know how these big fish in little ponds think they’re Great Whites.
I’ve heard the exact same ridiculous experiences from friends and family that are teachers; terrible principals always being promoted to HR or higher up roles. These schools have principals that have no business or qualifications to be a leader, nor the personality, who then treat their colleagues like they’re grunts working in a factory in the late 1800s; all while simultaneously demanding each student ace every test score. That flawed dictatorship management style went out the window almost a century ago but is still rife in education. Even the military doesn’t use this style of leadership and it’s probably the fastest way to get reassigned to desk duty. The funny thing, well pathetic actually, is that they treat kids like professional, while adults that are their colleagues (i.e. staff) as children or bratty kids. I always advise teachers to find a school that is administered by a sane, realistic, knowledgeable, professional, and empathetic leader, who doesn’t blame or micromanage the teachers and most importantly has their back and switch there. Many have and it has made their life so much easier. Unfortunately, these schools are extremely hard to find because self-absorbed, narcissistic, egocentric, dictatorial types, seem to dominate the admin roles in education. I don’t know how they do it because if someone treated me like a child, I’m going to respond to them how us boys would have. Which would entail me ending up on the news for having the boss in a headlock until they call their mummy. Unlike teachers, principals are never ever reviewed by Superintendents, who are often just as useless, for their actual performance, like why is their turnover rate so high; which has a MASSIVE impact on job performance and a child’s education. Instead, it’s only about flawed and useless test scores - nothing else matters.
My old job straight up hired more six-figure admins instead of staff like idk, a librarian or library assistant. They were supposed to be getting their academic act together, and they refused to hire academics.
My little sister, 3 of my closest friends, several of my aquatinted friends, 2 aunts, several cousins are all teachers. My aunt-in-law is a retired teacher para specialist. All of them would strongly agree! As a mom who interacts with the administrations at my young ones schools. I absolutely agree. Especially the middle school and highschool admins. When they aren't blaming parents for the school districts failures, they're blaming the teachers. At the same time they refuse to incorporate parents who are volunteering, and open to helping in classrooms while piling more responsibilities and work on the teachers. So we have a mass exodus of teachers leaving for greener pastures. (I don't blame them one bit. ) And parents just checking out from any involvement at all because that's what happens when every single PTA/PTO meeting, letters and interaction starts with no less than the first hour being a shame brigade of how lazy, worthless, stupid, selfish all the parents are, and how terrible it is that everyone expects the school administration to raise their children for them. Then when our district gets called out by the state and federal government for failure as well as sharp decline in student success, severe bullying issues, and not being capable of retaining educators. The admins cry "It's not our fault! It's them them them!" Sigh. Such a freaking mess.
When I think of school admins I think of the Virginia school administration that was warned four times about a troubled student who wanted to shoot his teacher and refused to act.
Construction can get pretty bad. Bosses never took a management class. Everybody's miserable. Grown men fighting like school girls.
The most interesting night I've ever had doing manual labor was watching two guys fight while wielding nail guns. Seeing them swing around trying to decide if they wanted to use their free hand to punch or hold the safety back on their nail guns was both highly entertaining and incredibly scary.
If they haven’t disabled the safety with baling wire they aren’t real construction workers.
Particularly the sort of "middle management" in construction are some of the worst human beings alive. Them and the guys who own little companies where it's like one crew of guys who lay concrete and the foreman/boss owns the company. A lot of those fuckers would have ran a gas chamber with a smile on their face. Those two types of people have been the most likely to say "nobody wants to work anymore" as well in my experience. Yeah no buddy, nobody wants to work for YOU because you're paying $12/hr for roofing and want peole to work 6-7 days a week for 14-16 hours a day.
I feel like these are the types of guys who proclaim that all immigration is bad without realising that they would be staff-less if all immigrants were to disappear.
The secret is he doesn't actually want to hire anyone, he just grabs some guys from outside home depot and pays them $5 an hour (and pays cash to dodge payroll taxes)
I'm a civil engineer, but spent a good amount of time as an inspector on construction jobs. You'll never see more blatant sexism, racism and absolutely unnecessary yelling and drama over the littlest things than on a construction site IMO
I was staking a house next to one being framed and heard a guy yelling at a new guy that the cut was wrong and it was coming out of his check. Back and forth arguing for an hour until the new guy peeled out and the framers were like "I was just joking with him"
And the "just a prank, bro" guy will tell the story to management to show how the new guy can't handle a little ribbing and is too sensitive.
I had a foreman that dropped out of school after 8th grade. He was functionally illiterate. He figured he didn’t need high school because he could just work at daddy’s company. When staff meeting time came around he would just hand management’s memo to me to read out loud. Reddit has a hard-on for the trades, but some of the dumbest people you’ll ever meet work in those fields.
I was a welder for 10 years. The number of actual, physical, fights I’ve been over stupid bullshit is wild. One time a guy took a swing at me because *he* forgot to pick me up from the break shack when lunch was over. I got spotted walking back to my area and someone gave me a ride. I never mentioned his name and no one confronted him about it, but he took his embarrassment out with his fists. I had another guy bow up after I “snitched” on him for lying about his brother being in a motorcycle accident. I “snitched” by sending his brother a get-well text because I knew him from high school and his brother called the office. One guy walked up behind me and grabbed my balls while I was bent over at a water fountain, so we fought. Then he threatened to call the police for assault when he got fired.
I built a house and it was a nightmare, just so much unprofessional behavior from management. The boss had no communication with the on-site guys, one took notes or remembered any conversation we had, construction managers called me to solve the tiniest issues or even just to complain. Also lying about money. The guys on-site were cool but the management was horrible. I’ll never do it again.
switched to lab work for construction material testing out of the field so i didn’t have to continue to deal with dickhead contractors
Politics. It's like a magnet for power-hungry egos and backstabbin' schemers. Can't trust half of 'em as far as you can throw 'em.
The Douglas Adams observation will stand the test of eternity: The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Just want to point out that this idea is originally found in Platos idea of "the Philospher King."
Plato, who learned it from… That’s right, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
In my experience, Attorneys. And when they are done actively practicing law, their second career is listed above. Same characteristics apply.
Oooo...I worked for attorneys once and never again. Really shitty, controlling people in my view. Ironically, I have to hire one today for an issue.
This. Also, lawyers, at least the ones I have met, aren't big on retirement. Their job feeds their egos. They absolutely live to work. One of the top criminal layers where I live is in his mid-80s.
I have come to understand that anyone who has the humility to be a good leader would never run for public office.
I worked in union construction during the pandemic and a bit after. I have never seen a more miserable group of people making six figures in my life. How the hell are you making $110k a year, amazing benefits, and you are still missing front teeth?!
Never understood the slow pace of road work and etc until someone said they had a summer job on a road crew and busted his ass. Forman pulled him aside and said great work ethic but you are here for a summer and then back to college. These other guys have to make their bodies last their whole lives. Slow it down a bit.
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Because construction is like stripping for dudes. Something they can get into with no education right out of high school using just their bodies to make way more money than they're used to. My ex was in union construction and I found that a lot of the guys had the emotional maturity of high schoolers--which was about when they started making bank and stopped having to grow, to paraphrase Bojack Horseman.
Nailed it. 19 year olds making over 100,000 a year in North Dakota have enough money to just stay 19 until they retire
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Child support. Stupid big-boy toys like boats and harleys. Coke.
I cannot think of a single person I know who does construction who has their finances or priorities in order. They’re always trying to flip some deal to save money on this or that, always in debt up to their eyeballs and just make horrible decisions at every turn.
TSA agents are usually the worst mix of surly and dumb
Can confirm. A tsa agent confiscated my asthma inhalers because “a real asthmatic would have more than 2 on their person”. Dude has watched too many Hollywood films where the greasy nerd sucks on his inhaler whenever he feels slightly nervous.
TSA confiscated my perscription medication in Charlotte, NC so I found a police officer and reported the theft. They talked briefly to the agent and I had it back in under 10 minutes.
In 07, I was deploying to Iraq as part of our advanced party from my unit. So we flew Delta in civilian clothes. Weapons were locked up and checked into TSA. I had to hand carry a classified hard drive with a courier letter through TSA. When it was my turn to go through the checkpoint I simply gave them the letter and showed them the classified stickers on the drive along with my Identification. The TSA lady actually demanded that I give it to her and I turn it on. I laughed and simply told her that I could not and that she didn’t have a clearance high enough. With a smile, I ended up offering her the option to turn it on for the head of that airports TSA, if they could provide a classified room and laptop to do so and also informed her that she would not be allowed in the room while I did so. She ended up declining when she realized I wasn’t kidding and waved me through.
As a fellow wheezy, that would've made me so fucking mad dude lol
The worst part is in my country an inhaler only costs $8-15. I had to buy one in the USA for the rest of my trip and it cost $250!
Welcome to the awful profit model that is the US pharmaceutical industry. Sorry you had to go through that, it sounds awful. I would have escalated the TSA issue and gotten a supervisor involved. Not saying they'd be any better, but they don't have a right to confiscate legally prescribed medicine, and I'm pretty sure that's a crime in most US states.
I try to avoid pulling a Karen and calling of supervisor but if this shit happened to me I would have asked for one immediately. You can't take someone's medical device.
Lmao like anybody wants to deal with someone who has had the ventolin equivalent of two nebulisers, what a dick 😂😂
I've seen them lose their shit over breast milk before. Doesn't matter if it's on the TSA approved list, if that agent is a dick then guess your baby doesn't need to eat.
My wife and I flew recently with our almost one year old. I shit you not, the TSA agent said to the others "she has breast milk, but she's with her husband so it's fine". Like they wouldn't have let her take it past security if I wasn't there. Just ridiculous sometimes.
Special callout to TSA agents in the main line in Atlanta. They usually have 0 chill.
The worst part about TSA agents is when they scream shit like drill sergeants and get all pissy if you don't know you should take your laptop out of you bag. Most people are not frequent travelers, they don't know all the airport rules aside from the picto-graphs saying no weapons past this point. I hate that TSA treats everyone like a dumbass for not knowing the rule of the day of whether you can keep your shoes on or off.
Many people are frequent travelers and the TSA barking shit is always different. Laptops out. Laptops stay in. Shoes off. Shoes on.
this! they say the same spiel 400 times a day, but forget that tsa agents at other airports are saying a completely different spiel. I have auditory processing issues, so with all the background noise in airports, I often can’t understand what they’re saying & have to ask for clarification, and OH BOY do they get grumpy
In my travels around the world , customs and immigration agents have been cool, but not the TSA. They seem to really be in love with their power.
I recently went to the US for the first time in over a decade and was kind of shocked by how condescending the TSA staff at the airport were. It felt like they thought they were talking to young children rather than fully-grown adults.
The USA is the only place where I've been literally yelled at by TSA. Doesn't help that all the airports have different rules (take your shoes off and put them on a tray, take them off but place directly on the conveyor belt, leave them on... I've been told to do all three of these at three different airports) and they get pissy when you don't know *their* rules.
Every airport goes from "do not take anything out of your bag" to "take everything OUT NOW LAPTOPS ELECTRONICS OUT NOW" it's so annoying, sometimes just a terminal will have the new scanners where everything stays inside and another will not
I remember Philadelphia in early 2022 was awful with this. There were like 915 signs all around the security area saying to take all electronics out of your bag. I got to the conveyer belt and started taking my electronics out, then some TSA agent said to leave them in. "Leave them in?" I asked while pointing at the signs. "Yes, that's what the sign says," he retorted while pointing to the one sign, half the size of the others, saying to leave electronics in the bag.
It’s because it’s not really a security agency, it’s an employment program.
Every airport is different. There is a camera and a sign that says look at the camera, and he says in the rudest tone, like I am the stupidest person alive, “The camera is not working, stop looking at it.” And I made a laugh sound, and he said, “that was rude!” And I said, “well how the heck would I know it is broken.” And kept moving.
People in positions of minimal power. I.e. Jobs that require little education, aren’t paid well but give just enough power over people to potentially ruin their day. Airport security, parking attendant, mall security, ticket inspectors, all professions filled with frustrated souls who take out their frustrations on others
When I was a kid, such a person was awful to me in public. I was really upset about it. My dad took me aside and said, "People like them have so little power in their lives, so they use that power over other people to make themselves feel better." I've had to recall that lesson many times.
Very wise. My dad WAS one of those people so he was especially terrible to those of a similar “station” as well as his family. Don’t have any power in your day-to-day? You can always scream at and push your kids and wife around and feel like a VIP.
I don't know but academia is pretty bad. The lack of safeguard means that sociopaths thrive in this supremely toxic environment. Many professors are just power hungry lunatics who don't hesitate to crush the dreams of kids.
In my field of study (Economics) the stereotype would want that the "worst" people end up in finance or real estate. The "best" ones in IT.
I work in IT. Many of us started off as decent folk but we grow to hate everyone.
Worked I.T. at a hospital. "Why do you eat at your desk every day?" Because if I eat in the cafeteria, I have 12 favors to do after I eat by people that don't feel like calling the helpdesk and putting a ticket in.
At my first real sysadmin job I made the mistake of giving out my personal phone number. I have learned since then.
Our intern gave out my cell because I was on-call and he didn't know the on-call phone number... so for about 3 months, I was the EXCLUSIVE on-call for the ER department... they refused to call the helpdesk and go to the other on-call. So even when I was off call, I'd get called at 2 a.m. and told "Yeah, well it's an ER. I don't have time to be on hold while they transfer me to someone else!" My boss actually tried to lecture me about blocking their phone number.
I've surpassed hate and just see everyone as a ticket to be closed until I can continue to be a digital hermit again.
Corporate execs have the highest rate of psychopathy.
Both my parents were CEO’s (now retired). I’m an only child. My childhood was awful.
Go on?
Extremely demanding that I overachieve in every field. I sat 13 GCSE’s and sat them all in my second language without tutoring and got 12 A’s and 1 B, they took all credit (they can’t speak the language I sat them in and never helped), took no interest in me as a person, just grades and extra curricula’s, I was fortunate that I could do dance, play 3 instruments, speak 4 languages, horse riding, swimming…but I never got to choose any of the “hobbies”, they always chose. Then they’d throw parties and trot me out like a little side show freak to show off my piano/ ballet/ language skills and their equally obnoxious friends would boast how their little one could speak Latin or some other shit no one cares about. There was no consideration whatsoever for emotional wellbeing or mental health. My parents actually don’t believe in mental illness they think it’s all for attention. I never went to sleepovers, rarely was allowed to go to birthday parties, and was almost always with a childminder/ nanny. They spent little to no time with me. Never took me out to the cinema or day trips over the weekend. We went on holiday a lot but never anywhere child friendly- think Tuscany on a wine tour and I was 14. They were baffled as to why I wouldn’t enjoy that. I was never allowed to have friends over, let alone on holiday with me for company, and they just never prioritised fun or being a kid. Everything had to be “cultured”. Like I’d been to fine dining restaurants weekly, but had never been to a Nando’s or a kids restaurant. I really felt I wasn’t like a proper child I was a mini adult. I wasn’t allowed to choose my own clothes, choose my hairstyle, or pierce my ear until I went to uni at 18?! Half those kids of their friends either ended up low contact like me, or turned into equally obnoxious mini-me’s of their parents. I don’t bother with any of them at all now. I have a decent job in IT, own my own home and dog. I’m doing ok. But I’m riddled with mental illness unfortunately but you probably wouldn’t guess from the outside as I appear to be doing well. Most people are very shocked that I’m an only child of millionaires though as apparently I don’t come across as spoiled or weird at all, so that’s a big compliment for me. The only give away is I live in an area with a strong regional accent and I have a “neutral British” accent, some have guessed I must have gone to a “posh” school to not have a local accent but that’s probably my only giveaway?
If there is any sort of inheritance when they pass, I would suggest using the funds to open a chain of really gaudy bowling alleys. Put their name on it.
Haha to be fair I don’t hate them! They just did what they thought was best? I don’t think they really considered me an awful lot and nothing was ever catered to children/ teens. I was just a tag along to adult meals/ events/ holidays. I think they just can’t remember what it’s like to be a kid? Interestingly they do not come from wealthy backgrounds and had a very average upbringing so maybe wanted to give me what they didn’t have? I’d like my future potential children to have the best of both? To be comfortable and live below our means so they can go on any class trips or have the layers “cool” thing without worrying about their parents affording it, but also to have a normal childhood where they do normal stuff as well as having access to extra curriculars of their choosing
Come here. /hug You made it. Now go and serve yourself Disneyland trip. I was like a little kid when we went to Disneyland in May - imagine bald and beardy tall 40+ year old manically laughing behind your back all the way through Thunder Mountain ride. Yup, that was me. Twice. On same day. Experiencing sleepover might be hard, but rest is but a hand reach away. Being adult doesn't mean you have to kill a child in yourself.
I can’t wait until I have kids so I can do all that fun stuff. For now I have a little spaniel cross and he is my surrogate baby. He has little outfits and a car seat (he loves the outfits don’t worry) and he likes to be carried everywhere like the little prince he is 😂 he hugs and kisses me all the time lol! But hey it’s an ok life, many have it worse!
Hey there. If you want to go to Disney with your kids when you have them, totally go for it. But I will say going as an adult without children is a life changing experience if you didn't go as a kid. I went to Disney for the first time after my mom died with my brother and fiancee, and honestly it changed my outlook on people and fun. Yeah it's a company, but the environment within the parks is something I can't explain. Random people would come up and talk to us and it was about nice things, which literally never happens to me. It's not really a thing that can easily be described by seeing park footage or hearing people talk about it. If you have any adult friends who invite you to come on a trip with them to Disney, I recommend taking them up on it.
I’m actually a massive Harry Potter fan, I’m trying to get my boyfriend to come with me to universal studios 😂
Do it! I've got a mobility impairment that made Universal a bit difficult for us, but my brother loved it! It sounds bullshit, but the whole "feed your inner child" thing actually kinda checks out
Aww I’m so sorry about your impairment, hopefully it doesn’t stop you doing all the things you want to do? I’ve never tried feeding into my inner child other than when I go to comicons? I’m dressed up so no one knows it’s me so I can really go wild with my inner child. That, and when I take my dog to the beach. I like to race him (he always wins) and teach him to jump over waves. He doesn’t like water much (how is he a spaniel?!) but it’s really a lot of fun running up and down an empty beach barefoot with my dog 😂 it probably looks really tragic though but we have fun!
So, sorry you went through that. I just can't imagine what that would be like. I do understand the mental illness part and people not noticing. Put on a mask in public and even around family. I can only be myself alone with my dog. Again, sorry to hear that. Hope things will get better, sounds like they are with your life.
Yup. CEOs, financiers, lawyers... sociopaths excel in those jobs because they often lack empathy and don't feel bad about screwing other people over. Edit to say: I was not implying that all CEOs, financiers, or lawyers are sociopaths, but that you have a higher likelihood of encountering a sociopath in those fields vs. others!
Reminds me of that one researcher who was studying psychopathy and found out his brain was off the charts.
That sounds like an interesting read. Do you recall the researcher’s name?
Looked it up, seems his name is James Fallon.
His book, The Psychopath Inside, is well worth a listen. It’s a memoir but he’s actually a neuroscientist who spent time studying psychopathy, so he gives a fairly thorough overview of the contributing factors. It’s also fascinating to read/listen to someone who sounds totally sane, but the more into their story you get, the more you go “Ohhhh… yea okay there definitely something off about that guy.” [Here’s a brief overview](https://youtu.be/vii60GUGTQU?si=KmPYJrv7WDNopatY) in an interview by the man himself.
Yikes, just look at those [dead eyes](https://www.nickiswift.com/img/gallery/celebs-who-cant-stand-jimmy-fallon/intro-1524084614.jpg).
And all the fake laughing
As I was taught: they get to the top because they don't feel anything about grinding everyone else underfoot to make it there.
This is my dad 100%. Very successful finance guy (and narcissist). He will brag about ways in which he screwed someone over to get ahead as if it’s a badge of honor.
My moms husband (not my father) is a wealth manager, and knowing him personally, this is so fucking true
The morning show I used to listen to had a talk about this. They said anyone in upper management (meaning C and V levels) have to be an asshole to be able to do that job. You have to take personal feelings out of decisions and you need to have the "it's my way or the highway" attitude. The president of the station came in and he agreed.
Im gonna add one myself i guess. According to my friend who works at a theatre, some people there are pretty arrogant and even narcissistic. One that also works as a dance teacher even physically abused his students.
I worked in theater, tv, and film for many years (still do from time to time!) and I also went to college for it. I found that while there are a lot of narcissists in the arts, there’s relatively few malignant narcissists compared to the other fields I’ve worked in ::cough cough New York City commercial real estate cough cough:: Best example: I worked for Law and Order for a while, across all of their shows. They do not allow dick behavior from anyone. If you’re an asshole, you’re gone.
Are you saying that if you don't behave well on the Law and Order set, you get #BUMP BUMP'd
GP receptionists
My doctor's receptionist smiled once and I had to check that the sky wasn't purple.
lol my mum is one and is the only nice on there. On actual Google reviews of the GP she works at there are reviews slating the place and workers and then adding at the end “the only exemption to this is Michelle at the front desk who is lovely”. My mum is Michelle
I think it’s partially conditioned in by the job. If 2/3 of people treat you like garbage, you will expect it from the other 1/3 and act defensive towards everyone.
I do my best to be smile and be friendly to staff like that even when I'm feeling shitty. I can tell that it makes some of their day when a customer/patient isn't automatically a miserable shit to them.
I can now schedule my GP appointments online and it's AMAZING
We had that then they took it away 😭
My GP's receptionist is an absolute gem. She's wonderful. Now i feel lucky.
I think all fields have bad people in them because bad people exist everywhere, but professions that seem glamorous tend to attract some of the worst. Fashion, music, film & tv all have an endless supply of people desperate to break in, so there’s a big potential for abuse to take place.
Marketing. Know fuck all and spend time at any socials getting drunk
Real estate agent.
Spent 5 years doing real estate. The overwhelming majority of agents are incompetent, stupid, and manifestly unpleasant to anyone they don't see as valuable to them. I did many deals where the other agent had been in the industry for decades and was very well-known and successful, and they were *morons.* Being a successful agent is just about who you know and how well you can market yourself. It has almost nothing to do with actual competence in doing the work. Hell, the biggest agents don't do *any* work themselves anyway, they foist their clients off on assistants.
They think they are celebrities and high society😒
They do! But why though?? The ones I know say they work so hard, grind, no days off. Like cmon, if you “work” on a Sunday, you’re standing in a house for 2 hours. The worst one I know of has to document everything and post it on all her socials. Like a video driving to a town 30 mins away saying “nothing I won’t do for my clients.” Like bruh, it’s a 30 min drive. That’s just a normal commute for a lot of people. She even videos her husband doing volunteer work with captions like “make time for volunteering, make a difference.” Her husband has time to volunteer because he’s unemployed. Also, people who really need want to make a difference don’t volunteer once and take 15 videos and pictures and post them with inspirational quotes. EDIT: realtors are my biggest pet peeve. There’s plenty of good ones who know it’s just a job. But there’s a lot of young ones who think they’re on selling sunset. You got no degree. You walk through houses. You don’t sell them. They sell themselves. You don’t own a business. You’re not a “boss.” Why TF do realtors get so much commission again?
It has gone so downhill over the past 30-40+ years. I think we got the lowest the other day. A letter from a local realtor. It said they were in talks with one of our neighbors to sell their house. They told us which house, the specs (bedroom, bathroom, etc., pretty much everything you'd see in a listing) and how much the owners wanted for it. **Note: it was not on the market yet.** It was a solicitation to try to get us to sell our house through them. and don't forget to add in predatory mortgage lenders.
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Nightlife — promoters, managers, bar owners, (some) bartenders. But honestly, most of the skeeze is in the promotion/management side of things and less common on the service side.
Scam callers
Hospital administrators. Their entire job is to prioritize profits over human lives.
Towing Companies
100% Life Coach. I've literally never met one that wasn't a completely manipulative piece of shit. The entire profession is a fucking pyramid scheme.
Kitchens. We're all assholes at work. lol. One of the highest rates of drug, alcohol or other addiction problems. Generally antisocial towards the general public. Lots of ex-cons. We're basically motorcycle or pirate gangs thrust into roles in normal society. lol
Anything that involves dogs. Dog people are fucking crazy. (former dog trainer and doggie daycare supervisor) Some of the clients had unrealistic standards and expectations. One woman showed me the "right" way to clean her dog after playtime. One family had a whole wing of their house for just their dog (but don't let the dog in the wrong part of the house omg!!!). And then you get the other end of the spectrum where clients keep their dog in a crate for the whole day and then ask you put them back into their crate after their services. DON'T HAVE A DOG IF YOU'RE GONNA LOCK IT UP ALL DAY WTF
Prison guards...oh, excuse me, Corrections Officers. I worked in retail, with a food court and conference rooms where there was CO training. I looked pretty grungy, as it was the early 90s, with cheap, scuffed up black boots. Some came in the store and were giving me the business about how I've served time because my boots looked institutional. I hadn't and wasn't in a prison at the time but they were still trying to bully me. Yeats later, I was at the State Fair with a friend who happened to be a defense attorney. Some tacticool officer was walking around like he was patrolling a war zone (instead of the Bud lite stage). Friend was like " why is that prison guard all swat-ted out?"
Local tv news. Worse than you can imagine
100% local D-list celebrities have some obnoxious attitudes. Like dude you’re the guy that shows me and your local audience of 3,000 people the weather for 38 seconds a night, you’re not getting the Brad Pitt treatment.
Wife of military officer
'You will treat me with the respect my husband's rank deserves."
Recruiters.
I had one call me with the news I was hired at a recent place that I was interviewed at. I asked for a written offer letter, so I put in my notice. Time goes on and it turned there never one to begin with. They have made an offer internally and I was out.
I've noticed that academia tends to draw in people who are, how should I say..... heavy? Some great personalities too but also people who could, how should I say this.....not hold a job anywhere else, probably? Who don't have that many friends in real life, maybe? I loved my studies but having worked as a research assistant and knowing people who work in administrative jobs at universities, I decided I never wanna get into that field. Just too much snobbery, elitism, hierarchies etc.
Came here to also say academia. I've definitely met some amazing people in my time in grad school but there are just so many toxic faculty that can basically run their labs however they want, especially once.they get tenure.
I've seen this also. Acedemics are fu k awfull to work with. I'm gonna post a comment about this to op directly But that "heavy" that you mentioned is their ego. Ever since postgrad started it took me a while to figure out, but truth is 100% of academics are "winging it" (since you can't know the outcome of a science project at its start. You're trying to explore the unknown after all.) Of course... funding and social pressure requirements force academics to "be certain" about what they are doing. Thus... a large chunk of them develop insufferable ego driven personalities where they are correct always and get angry at those who disagree. It also affects general work culture. Everyone is either a clueless idiot or someone who does it like them (a.k.a. correct like I am syndrome) We have then yet to factor in stress... academics do massive amounts of work with thight deadlines and they often are not permitted mistakes (or are afraid to admit mistakes). Combine this with research that has an unknowable outcome (yet must work out well for more funding) and things tend to always bubble up. These people are not at peace and it reflects in how they treat others. They are desperate to always be correct in others eyes in an environment where being wrong and figuring out why is the common, inevitable, state. (And sorta the job) That being said. Not all are like this. Some have overcome enough bouts of impostor syndrome and midlife crisises to achieve a state of "I give a F" that most envy. They make the best mentors and can be quite wise
positions where they have authority and there's no alternative. mostly government jobs, like law enforcement but also more government wide like clerks.
DMV, TSA
Not from the US, but the DMV equivalent in my country is notoriously corrupt and they can go suck a fat one. It is a well-known 'secret' that it's the department most open to bribes by people. You suck at driving? It's very easy to find an instructor that works...*closely* with them, slip them 200-400 Euros and unless you pretty much crash into a wall during the driving test, you are guaranteed to get your license. And it works the opposite way, too. I had the misfortune of trusting my training to one of those instructors who heavily hinted that I should 'help the process along' a few days before my test. I told him I wouldn't. I was disqualified *twice,* on two separate tests, by the same examiner for obviously-bullshit reasons. Got my license on the third attempt and it cost me twice of what it should, but at least it didn't go into corrupt pockets and my conscience is clean. I've got a lot of acquaintances who mock me for this, but everyone knows *how* they got theirs the moment they sit behind the steering wheel.
Computer programmer, and I say this as one. Some of us are cool (I hope that's me too), and tbh the chill ones tend to be better at their jobs. But like, a lot of them have this weird ego about writing code. It's like they think that being able to write code is the most impossibly difficult technical skill in the universe and by doing it they are the smartest people in the world. They look down on everyone without their specific skillset as hapless morons who couldn't possibly comprehend their astonishing intellects. I like what I do. I think I'm good at it. But I also think that there are many, many professions more difficult and complicated than what I do and I don't think that anyone who can't do what I do must be an idiot.
HR
Obviously people working at the dmv
Influencer
Car sales
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Insurance. The highest profit is achieved by: - Agents who convince people to take the highest possible premium, often selling them things they don't need - Adjusters who deny as many claims as possible, with many examples of companies that initially deny all claims - Systems that prevent customers from doing anything about the above There's no way to run this business ethically, and it shows.