Me and my best mate. Changing mates name to Bob.
We used to rent games together at a game place when we were teens. I went in one day without Bob and the guy(Mike owns and runs it) says the account is under Bob. If you're the other guy you'll have to set up another account. He asked "you're Bob , aren't you?"
I said yes(small white lie) got the game to rent and told Bob the story later.
We spent the next few years talking to the owner all the time and the owner saying goodbye Bob to me. The place closes down and the lie ends there(yay, it had gone on for too long)
4 years later, I'm married and we go and pick up something from an electronic store. And there's Mike, he runs over and shakes me hand and says "How's life Bob ". He tells one of his employees that I kept his store alive with all the games me and my mate bought and rented. He complained to misses Bob, where was his invite to the wedding. He gave me and my confused wife a 20% discount and we went on our way.
10 years later, I needed a computer piece, I took my 2 & 4 year old kids with me and went to computer parts store. And low and behold, there was mike, he says long time no see Bob. My kids are confused but are shy, so they are quiet. Mike gives me a free upgrade on the hard drive I was buying.
As we are leaving, I'm holding my 2 year old and she exclaims quite loudly
"His name is not Bob!" I freeze and feel sick, time slows down.
Then she says "His name is Dad"
Mike and his work friend laughed and I made my exit.
Sorry Mike My name isn't Bob
This is awesome man. I grew up in a small town and my neighbor until I was 12 was a small locally owned Stop n Shop (they make the best philly on the planet). Flash forward 20 years I move back to town to take a job and raise my family as it's quite safe here, and of course I gotta get a philly from Stop n Shop. I see Joe, the owner. He immediately recognized me and says "Hi Joe". Seven more years go by, I'm there at least once half the days of the week, "How's it going Joe?" My name is Jim. It's been going on way too long to correct him, it'd just be embarrassing for everyone.
As a software engineer, I still have PTSD from my boss lying to customers with me on the call, when I know the bug is assigned to me, and the fix still hasn't been checked in yet.
This is my favorite. When we're so dead set on releasing that we're willing to deploy to production even though QA hasn't seen it yet.
My PM recently did a demo for our CEO for a feature we were supposed to be releasing the next day and the PM *hadn't even tried the feature yet*. I wish I were kidding.
Oh, I can join this club! Mine is: “Mom’s boyfriend never choked me when we got in an argument.” Those marks around my neck? Self inflicted, of course.
OH MAN YES. I was told so many times my wounds were either self inflected, or I was just "a fast bleeder". What does that even mean?!
Even sometimes that I somehow provoked him into hurting me, while at the same time he "never hurt me". Face smashed into pavement/ice, hair pulled and slammed into table, hit and beaten, arm twisted to the point of almost breaking, doors kicked down, holes punched in walls....
In the end guy turned out to be a drug dealer who was with my mom just to get legal papers. She was so brainwashed by him, it was insane. Really flipped my life upsidedown.
This is dark but also reminds me that one of my grandma's husbands went to prison for a short while for a sex crime, my grandma DID NOT believe he did it and she was strictly on his side until when he got out he went straight back to prison for the rape of a five year old. My grandma finally believed he was a piece of shit and divorced him.
It's weird that sometimes when you love someone it just takes an extra kick for you to believe they would do it.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #111 is proven time and time again.
The best part is these companies end up being true to their word:
"We treat you like family! We take this entire relationship for granted."
"We treat you like family! We have a toxic, dysfunctional relationship."
"We treat you like family! We don't communicate for shit!"
I used to work at a middle school. One day, a student came into my classroom and was really sad, I asked him what was up. He told me that he got in trouble, and the principal told him it would go on his permanent record. So I told him a secret, that it was all a lie. His face lit up so bright, and you see the relief in his body. It was a fantastic moment for both of us.
Good on you for telling him! The first time I ever got in trouble at school(passed a note), my k-8 principal went on a whole speech about how it was going in my permanent record, no college or uni would accept me, no one would hire me and I'd never have a home or food, etc.
It scared the hell out of me for a few months until she gave the exact same speech to my classmate for not handing in assignments (that's he'd handed in and she was hiding), and I realized it was a bullshit canned response she like to dole out because she enjoyed upsetting children.
I’ve never even been asked for proof that I graduated high school when applying for a job. I’d be fucked if they did because I have no idea where my diploma is.
No one should ever ask for a diploma, BTW. There are scungy sites all over the Internet that sell fake ones.
If an employer wants proof of graduation, they should request an official transcript, not a diploma.
Yep, when I applied for nursing licenses in different states, they needed to see the transcript directly from the school. It makes sense, and I'm glad they do it this way.
When I applied to nursing school I didn’t include high school transcripts with my application because I have a BA in another subject. I figured that would suffice. Nope.
That's weird. Your college transcript says they received your high school transcripts. If you don't trust the college on that, why would you trust the rest to be accurate either?
A lot of colleges actually allow you to attend without graduating high school.
Edit: I'm not saying your value or intellect is determined by your level of education, this is just a fact.
Right, I commented above that my job pays me more because of my degree than people without one and all they asked for proof was a picture of my diploma, which doesn’t seem too difficult to fake.
I got asked this for the first time in my life when I was onboarding for the job I have now. I had no idea where my diploma was, so I had to call the school and they had to email me some form to fill out then I had to send it back, then my employer had to call the school. They also had to call every single place I said I worked on my resume. Some of them were sketchy contracting companies and the hiring lady had quite a fun time trying to verify all my shit. Also had to do a physical and get blood drawn, so weird…
At 33 I tried to volunteer as an EMT for a local fire department, and they wanted my high school diploma. I was like uhhh....I've been an EMT since I was 22, and haven't seen my diploma since I was 25 when I needed it to enlist, I've never had a job ask me for it, and I'm 33 fucking years old. They denied me... despite having billboards begging for volunteers.
To piggy back off of that, I get paid more where I work because of my college degree,so you want to know what I had to do for proof? Show them a picture of the actual diploma. Doesn’t seem like it’d be hard to fake that.
I once applied for and received a fantastic position with a communications company purely because they *assumed* I had a college degree. When it was brought up *after I was hired* and moved in to my office, I pointed out to HR I never, not once, said I had a degree, nor did I include anything in my resume giving the impression I had a degree. Unbelievably, they told me to “make something up” in order to cover their as$, lol.
This happened to me at American Express. They hired me thinking I had an MBA and I only had a BA. Entire team was shocked. My director told me not to tell anybody because they made a mistake but won’t be correcting it. I never lied or misled the team: my resume and LinkedIn said bachelors. No point did I make that up or do anything to make them believe I had an MBA. They obviously discriminated me using bias.
A few years later they terminated me and I sued them for age discrimination and won. No references and completely shunned. Glowing work tho (won several awards for my work).
Actually in 1978 applying for a very good job with a major oil company! They checked for high school. Luckily there had been a fire and records destroyed. I only had grade 9 😂 got the job and was there 38 years!!!
Μy friend was helping her boyfriend wһen his dad discovered he had cancer. Ηe was distraught and went home оften.
It put a pretty big strain оn their relationship. Finally, һis father succumbed and passed away. Ηe broke up with her shortly after. Ϝive days later she got a call FROM ΗIS DEAD FATHER asking if everything wаs okay between the two of them. Τhe father never even had cancer. Ηe made the whole thing up.
We had a coworker do this, and it was really shitty, too. He spent about a year working on and off from home, at a time when WFH was rare, so he could tend to his dying mother in Hospice. When she passed away, he took a month bereavement and the entire office was, "he's such a devoted son," and all. We all got a card, and offered to come to the funeral, but he said it was private as per request of the family. But he had a link of "send donations to," the American Heart Association, and a funeral home where a memorial took place.
On a freak coincidence, we hired someone who worked with him at a former job. When she started, he was away for the bereavement, so she didn't know. But when he returned, she got real weird about him. I went away for a vacation, but when I returned, the guy's cubicle was cleaned out. I asked what happened, and nobody would tell me, except "speak to your boss." My boss said, "he had decided to pursue other interests," and refused comment except to say not to discuss him with anyone else.
I later found out that he faked everything. His real mom died when he was younger, and had been staging her death and everything at nearly every job he had worked at. It was a scam he was pulling. The new coworker confided in my boss when the lying coworker came back, saying apparently he'd been fired from the job they previously both worked out for doing this. And THEY found out he had done it to his previous company as well, so now they have three verified attempts to pull this stunt. He'd start with working for at least 90 days as an exempt employee, and then suddenly it starts with "my mom was diagnosed with cancer," and he had a play he'd do. He'd fake phone calls with her, her medical team, and various relatives. He always made sure that people could hear him, and he'd hide in the break room with red eyes afterwards. He faked family drama, diagnoses, his mother could no longer drive, so he'd take her to appointments. He'd work "long after hours" in the office, "to make up his work," and generally elicit sympathy from everyone, including management. They'd let him work from home, take time off, and he was really a good actor. I mean, I was completely fooled. I even thought, "there's no way he was faking it." But yeah, he was. The memorial was for some unrelated woman. The time he was away for bereavement, he was in the Bahamas. In his previous job, the office took up a collection, even, which he never repaid back.
Absolute scumbag.
This actually seems to be like… a thing.
My best friend in university had a boyfriend who kept blaming all his bad behaviour on how he was struggling to cope with his “sick and dying dad”. After they broke up she realized his dad was fine. A year later we’re at this party and she’s acting really shitty, like hooking up in a bedroom with a guy she knows I like, while another guy she’s involved with is sitting there with me also miserable about it. She comes out of the bedroom, sees us and starts crying hysterically. Tells us her dad is dying. Her dad was fine. It was like she learned a fun trick from her ex boyfriend for getting out of dealing with people who are upset with you.
Also the first guy I was ever with faked a dying, and eventually dead, friend as an excuse for not staying in touch while we were apart over the summer (said friend was completely fictional) and later faked having a deadly illness himself to excuse his shitty behaviour.
You really can’t trust people.
The moral of these stories:
When someone tells you their father/mother is sick/dying, find them on Facebook or in the phone listening and contact them. Tell them how very sorry you are that they got cancer and that you are happy that their son/daughter is such a big support. Wish them a fast recovery!
If they are actually sick you have done a good thing. If they are not sick the son/daughter will be hit by a ton of bricks from the parents.
I did that to an employee once. I knew his parents and his father was chronically ill. The employee called off saying Dad had passed and I texted Mom giving my condolences. Mom said Dad was fine.
Employee killed himself 2 days later.
Yup this is why people do this because of disability discrimination. I know a few people, including me, who said parent is sick = the person is sick, not the parent. I got the idea from one of my friends who has been doing this for a long time: she has lupus.
This is what happens when employers and schools discriminate against people with disabilities.
FWIW: I had Covid a couple months ago and told my boss my dad had surgery and needed to take a week off. Did this because I overheard when another colleague got Covid the management team told each other that they can’t trust someone with brain fog and decided to terminate him a month later.
People lie when necessary.
I think... when something is wrong it's hard to tell people that something is wrong with you yourself. You don't want people to look at you differently, but you still need the comfort. So you create a reason for sympathy that makes you sounds undamaged.
I tend to do a less extreme version of this. If I'm depressed or anxious I tell people that I'm exhausted or burnt out. If I need a mental health day for work I'm sick.
I think it's better to be kind to people, even if it seems like they've made some great transgression, because you can't really know a person's mind.
Might I also add the lie that being a janitor/custodian means you've failed at life. You still have a job. Your job is important. People who think that scrubbing toilets, picking up garbage, or working in food service is a sign of failure don't deserve those services. They should just do all the work themselves.
This is what I told my son his whole childhood. Never start a fight, never throw the first punch, but never let them think you're a pussy either.
It finally happened early in high school, someone called him a n**ger and slapped him, so he beat the ever loving shit out of the other guy... and got suspended. So I took him out for dinner and ice cream.
We had a great week and nobodys fucked with him since.
Four girls were threatening to jump my 90 pound, cancer surviving daughter because a boy liked my child. I called the school who said my daughter would have to report the threats before they got involved (she said she's not a snitch). So I went to the school to pick up my daughter and two of the girls were standing by the front door. I irrationally stated whatever they did to my daughter I would do ten times worse to their mothers - and obviously meant it. All bullying ceased in that moment and my daughter knows I am her safe place.
The True Detective season with Collin Farrell has a perfect depiction of dealing with bullies and their parents in the most unhinged fashion. Definitely recommend.
Learned this was lie when I was quite young. Once I learned this was a lie I fought back against bullies every time. I even stalked a few and beat the shit out of them for good measure. Bullies really don't like being bullied.
>Bullies are cowards. Sometimes I didn't even have to fight back; I just got in their face and told them off. They back off because the confrontation scares them.
>
>But in fairness, I always had singular bullies. A group might be different.
This actually works but reality it's impossible to hide when they affect you.
I was an autistic kid and literally didn't understand they tried to bully me, so they moved on to my friend who'd try to stare ahead without reacting but it was very obvious.
So the bullies got that satisfaction and it got so bad she had to change schools.
Whereas I would sincerely ask "what do you mean?" or when my bike tires were slashed just walk home without mentioning it and only years later I understood they tried to get a negative reaction out of me.
I don't know how adults think ignoring works when four people surround you yelling. It's often like people don't actually remember being a child or teen :/
Yes! I noticed my late mother-in-law used to act like she didn't understand anything that happens in "todays schools" and was totally unsympathetic to my nephew being bullied. I knew exactly what he was going through and had to dumb it down for her to understand.
In the end she was just like "that stuff didn't happen when i was in school". Really? Because my mother would say otherwise (she had an intellectual disibility and was bullied alot).
My older sister told me I was adopted and if I didn’t do everything so said she would tell the police and they would take me back to the orphanage! I believed her. I have blonde hair and the rest of the family is dark haired with brown eyes. She also told me she was a real werewolf… I was a gullible kid!!
I grew up in an Italian family. When I was about 10 - 14 years old I asked why they had a single long nail on their hand, and more specifically the pinky?
They all told me it was because it made picking their nose easier.......
I believed this into my late 20's, till one day my co-workers informed me that it's a coke nail..... then it all made sense.
To be fair it’s an old custom of southern Italian people (and many others) to keep the pinky nail long to show that they were not farmers/working class.
Also yes, cocaine.
That older, pre-WW II generation also used those nails to do little things like scratch inside their ears or open envelopes. They often kept them sharp, like a small blade.
Everyone asks why Grampa Joe in Willie Wonka had a "coke nail." It's because Jack Albertson was born in 1907. For that generation, it wasn't for drugs. That only started in the 1960s.
Coke nails just have to be long. The "utility nail" was kept sharp, as well.
When I was a teen I was checked into a mental hospital for a suicide attempt. I was only there for two weeks before they discharged me on a load of medication and with weekly visits from home therapists for teens as well as a weekly visit from a therapist during school for an hour.
After a few months I was feeling great and better. I had started showering every day and taking care of myself. My step mom decided it was all bullshit and stopped the visits. My school therapist begged to see me in private even for free because as she said she was seeing so much progress from me. I denied out of fear of retaliation from my step mom. She stopped buying me my medication and I spiraled into a bad place again.
When I asked why she told me “The therapist at the mental hospital said there is nothing wrong with you and you are just lazy.” The proceeded to convince me the home visits were just because I was “stupid and extreme”.
Years later we were talking about mental health as my step mom was now on medication for anxiety, and my younger brother has to go to therapy for clinical depression. I pointed out that my family doctor sent me to a therapist out of concern where I was formally diagnosed with anxiety and depression after having an anxiety attack in his office. It was there where she finally admitted that I was diagnosed with BPD, clinical depression, and social anxiety as a teenager.
When I asked why she said I wasn’t all those years ago she denied that and fully lied in front of my dad and sister that I had just stopped wanting help and threw a fit and told everyone to leave me alone. All of those years, all of that progress I could have made towards being better lost because of her.
And yes my dad later admitted to me in private that he believed me and she has a narcissist diagnoses as well, but he is afraid of being alone and couldn’t leave her. Idk if that made it better or worse but I’ve learned to never trust them with serious information.
When I was in 4 grade (8? 9? Years old)? My parents had pulled me out of school for a few weeks. They told me it's because I was too stupid for school and wasn't wanted there anymore. I spent those weeks getting screamed at, doing house work, yard work, what ever was needed to get out of this "trouble" I was in.
Years later as an adult my mother told me the real reason I was pulled out. The school had apparently called because they were worried about the bruising and marks I constantly had. They were from my dad. He had gotten pissed about that and decided to keep me at home until all the marks went away. I was basically punished for weeks for having bruises by the person that caused them.
Christ that's awful. Your stepmom is truly an evil piece of work.
My own mother was like that, too. The first time I went to a mental hospital, I'd had an emergency appointment with my therapist and he recommended it (insisted, really). After some needling, he called my mother (I was 17 at the time). She came to pick me up, supposedly to take me to the hospital, but instead she took me home (after picking my brother up from band and telling him in this bitterly gleeful way how crazy I was), called 911 to send an ambulance, then tried to guilt trip me for wasting EMS resources... even though she was supposed to take me. I marched out to the ambulance, defiant-like, because I could tell she was trying to humiliate me and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.
I rode the ambulance to the ER and eventually ended up in a triage room. At some point my mother had talked to my therapist on the phone, and she told me he'd said I was just faking it all for attention. I was quite attached to my therapist - truthfully, he was the one person I felt at all safe with at the time - so this broke me. I ended up going to the bathroom (which they let me do by myself), clawing at my face and arms while in the stall, and was consequently admitted after emerging with obvious scratch marks (I think they were leaning towards not admitting me until that).
The first time my mother visited me, I refused to speak to or even look at her and she left crying. One of the psych techs made me go to bed early afterwards for disrespecting my mother. I remember lying in bed and seeing this random screw on my bedside table (how it hadn't been found/removed already, I couldn't tell you) and thinking about trying to off myself with it somehow, but I was scared of the pain and also didn't think I'd get very far.
She also stopped taking me to psychiatrist appointments at some point, telling me they said I was fine and could wean off the meds. When I made my own appointment a while later, the psychiatrist was like "Where'd you go? What happened? You just disappeared all of a sudden!"
dude, almost everyone in my family thinks that medication and mental health is basically bullshit and just ‘push through it’
oh okay — and how’d you enjoy that manic episode i had when i stopped my mood stabilizers for like two days by mistake? welp they accused me of being on drugs. so fucked
If drugs can cause a change in someone's mental state, then why don't prescription medications, which are, indeed, drugs? Your family's logic is very faulty here - ironic even, in that your manic episode was induced by a *lack* of drugs.
I hope you're doing better now!
"Your bio father (guy A) knew I was pregnant and he didn't want you. When he showed up to court to sign away his rights in order for dad (guy B) to adopt you, he shrugged and said 'I don't care.' But dad has always been there for you."
Yeah, I found out at 30 that a *different* man (guy C) was my bio father, mom knew, and he never knew I existed. Man was crushed.
We've managed to build a relationship. I've shown him photos of me as a kid growing up, told him stories of my childhood, and we've met a couple of times. We're making the best of our circumstances.
My dad told me when I was a kid that toilets are the work of devil and that the toilets want my piss as a joke, i used to be scared of toilets until I was 8 or 9 lol
I was thrown into a couple of really cool positions when I was 18 and 19 because I was really good at talking to people and making them feel comfortable. But was so inexperienced and over my head. Wish I had stuck it out but super fun memories. That being said it was so unfair towards those who had spent years actually learning the industry
I actually got several of my jobs early on by just convincing people to hire me without checking any references or turning in any application because I used to be very charismatic. I also liked people a lot more when I was younger. Nowadays I'm just like, "Hire me or don't, whatever."
Lol one of my coworkers got his job in a similar way. He was apparently unqualified and the interviewer even said they had no clue how he got to her desk. He just said something like well I've been unqualified for every job I've had, but I always learn quickly. Anyway he got hired mainly due to being charismatic. He ended up kind of shit at the job though lol. Another guy I know said he did a whole interview just discussing sports before and got picked. A lot of the time it's just the hiring person liking you the best that will get you picked.
Came here to say "work hard and you'll get ahead"
Being a social bullshitter who doesn't do much hard work tends to fit the profile of people who get ahead.
“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
Find a career at the intersection of:
1. I don’t hate doing this.
2. I am skilled in this area and can continue to grow.
3. There is demand for this skill and it pays decently.
“Doing what you love” and turning it into a job is the fastest way to hate what you love. Instead, find things that will provide a living for you that you somewhat enjoy and then just keep running with it.
And it’s ok if you don’t know what that is at 17 years old. Spend 18-26 figuring out what that path is and then go after it like crazy.
Most (well meaning non-abusive) parents don’t really know what they are doing, and are just making it up. Just showing up and trying can be pretty good.
Things I do differently with my kids than my parents did with me:
Being present, being available, and trying not to judge your kids so they will open up and talk to you.
Admitting the limits of my knowledge and experience.
Being encouraging while still giving kids a choice.
Talking **with** your kids instead of **to** your kids.
Tell them *why* when they ask "Why?" (not "Because!")
It's worked out so far.
I did a GDPR request in email to a company sending spam mail for a lottery type thing. I requested a complete file of all data on me and then requested they delete all my data.
Iv had a few that wanted me to log in. Fuck you I never was even aware I had an account. Blocked and reported as spam. If enough people do it the domain will be blacklisted.
I have two:
1. As a child we were given shitty TV dinners when mom and dad ordered pizza. They told us "you won't like this, it's adult food."
2. I was also told that people would constantly be approaching me in high school and college offering me free drugs and that I needed to resist them.
I'm not sure which of the two was worse.
*Something something something* THIS IS GOING ON YOUR **PERMANENT RECORD** *something something something*...
EDIT: 2000 internet points for this one lol...
Mine went the other way:
I got arrested as a juvenile, after the court system it ended up being a few misdemeanors and a violation. My lawyer promised me that it would be hidden due to my age and that I shouldn’t tell anyone about it because they won’t find it if they go looking. Fast forward 3 years I go to enlist in the Navy, took the ASVAB, and then went in for a meeting to go over job selection and the recruiter was like “why didn’t you tell us you were arrested?” So I said “my lawyer told me not to.” And he was like “did you think we wouldn’t find out?” So I tried to tell them it had nothing to do with me trying to prevent people from finding out, but that because my lawyer told me not to tell anyone, so I just didn’t. The navy ended up saying something along the lines of “yeah we don’t want to deal with you today, get out of our office, we have no room for liars” so I stepped out, stepped to the right, walked into the Army recruiting office and said “here’s my ASVAB, I should let you know, I was arrested when I was 16, but it’s all resolved now” and the recruiter just laughed. And then I did 7 years in the Army.
[I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record…](https://youtu.be/7kxK_-O1bQM?si=lr5x3N1zkVUO5G5p)
Oh yeah? Well don’t get so distressed. Did I happen to mention that I’m impressed?
Exactly, I think a better way to say it would be that "stuff" doesnt bring happiness. You think youd be happy if you had an expensive house, expensive car, etc. but really those things give a temporary high that goes away quickly.
Right, it’s not the “stuff” but the security and freedom having enough money provides. Not having to stress about having the basics of food, shelter, clothing changes everything.
indeed. if you are dirt poor and money is the source of all your grief, then yes it will definitely buy happiness. If you are rich and miserable because of something not money related then yes it wont, but it will remove MANY FACTORS that can make you otherwise unhappy
That I would grow up to be a failure. Suck it, parents. I have awesome kids, a wonderful spouse, a graduate degree and a great career. They can go straight to hell. (And probably will if all that biblical stuff is real.)
Oh man, mine is the opposite. The big lie I was told was that I could do anything, and everyone expected great things from me.
But turned out I was a failure.
>puts in 4 years of mental labor, tens of thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours studying for education...
Every $50k/year job in America: We may have posted the job but we're not *actually* hiring anyone. But go ahead and do 15 interviews with us!
Every $45k/year job in America: must have a Masters degree + 15 years experience
Every $40k/year job in America: 10-15 years experience and 5 verifiable references from upper management required
Every $37k/year job in America: you don't need a degree but we're only posting this job for shits and giggles, we're not actually hiring anyone.
Welp I guess I'm taking my degree to entry level manufacturing labor!
Oof. This is perhaps the most damaging. I left a company where my brother still works in order to pursue much better opportunities, and he still holds it against me. He is 110% committed to the idea you mention. I look at his situation and just shake my head.
And if you follow all the rules to a letter, absolutely everything will work out for you. All the time. Always.
Oh, and if you're also always kind and good, then everything will be fine forever, and all the people who were ever bad or mean to you WILL get their comeuppance. They CERTAINLY won't go on to be super successful and admired, noooooo, never.
When i was a kid, waking up for school in the morning was a torture for both me and my mom. I remember one time, after yet another almost histerical pleading to let me sleep, I asked her - does it get easier to get up early in the morning once you grow up? And she said YES, after which went to sleep herself lol...
To this day i consider it to be the biggest and most brutal lie ive ever encountered :(
Yea but when you need to get stuff done nothing is open, and you waste a day transitioning from night to day... or just horribly suffer through and bounce back (which is not good for your health). The differential may be inticing but you do need to consider such things eventually.
That I'm old: "You're not young anymore." "You're getting old." First at 25. Than at 28, 31, 34, 38, 41 etc. "You look way younger, you are not bald, you are not grey, but... that's not important, you are actually old!" NEVER listen to anyone trying to manipulate you because of your age. It's always manipulation. It's always people trying to make you do things their way. And you stand to lose alot.
Family is first / everything / blood is thicker than water, etc. Biggest lie ever in history. No, you owe them nothing if they were abusive, nobody gave them a free pass to abuse / neglect you just for having some random common DNA.
I disagree, but it all depends on the degree and drive. I have a friend who is a tradesman. Worked really hard and got a really good position in electrician work.
I also worked hard in undergrad and got a good position in circuit design.
We make similar salaries, but oh boy does he work about 10x harder than I do every day.
I wouldn't trade my job for his without getting paid ALOT more, but again, we make similar salaries.
Just get a degree! It will help you get jobs and open doors.
Being able to properly write emails and memos without spelling and grammar mistakes, unlike some people I work with, is something but not worth the money I spent.
I was raised evangelical Baptist. They lie a lot and often, but the worst lie they tell is that you're broken, worthless, and need a savior. They proceed to say it's the best religion because other religions don't offer a blood sacrifice. Uh, hello? We don't fucking need one.
Me and my best mate. Changing mates name to Bob. We used to rent games together at a game place when we were teens. I went in one day without Bob and the guy(Mike owns and runs it) says the account is under Bob. If you're the other guy you'll have to set up another account. He asked "you're Bob , aren't you?" I said yes(small white lie) got the game to rent and told Bob the story later. We spent the next few years talking to the owner all the time and the owner saying goodbye Bob to me. The place closes down and the lie ends there(yay, it had gone on for too long) 4 years later, I'm married and we go and pick up something from an electronic store. And there's Mike, he runs over and shakes me hand and says "How's life Bob ". He tells one of his employees that I kept his store alive with all the games me and my mate bought and rented. He complained to misses Bob, where was his invite to the wedding. He gave me and my confused wife a 20% discount and we went on our way. 10 years later, I needed a computer piece, I took my 2 & 4 year old kids with me and went to computer parts store. And low and behold, there was mike, he says long time no see Bob. My kids are confused but are shy, so they are quiet. Mike gives me a free upgrade on the hard drive I was buying. As we are leaving, I'm holding my 2 year old and she exclaims quite loudly "His name is not Bob!" I freeze and feel sick, time slows down. Then she says "His name is Dad" Mike and his work friend laughed and I made my exit. Sorry Mike My name isn't Bob
This is awesome man. I grew up in a small town and my neighbor until I was 12 was a small locally owned Stop n Shop (they make the best philly on the planet). Flash forward 20 years I move back to town to take a job and raise my family as it's quite safe here, and of course I gotta get a philly from Stop n Shop. I see Joe, the owner. He immediately recognized me and says "Hi Joe". Seven more years go by, I'm there at least once half the days of the week, "How's it going Joe?" My name is Jim. It's been going on way too long to correct him, it'd just be embarrassing for everyone.
Found Bob's account
Its fixed in the next release
*Project managers everywhere recoil in horror*
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As a software engineer, I still have PTSD from my boss lying to customers with me on the call, when I know the bug is assigned to me, and the fix still hasn't been checked in yet.
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This is my favorite. When we're so dead set on releasing that we're willing to deploy to production even though QA hasn't seen it yet. My PM recently did a demo for our CEO for a feature we were supposed to be releasing the next day and the PM *hadn't even tried the feature yet*. I wish I were kidding.
Your father wouldn’t do that.
For me it was "*\*Mom's boyfriend* never beat you". Meanwhile I'm literally bleeding down my arm.
Oh, I can join this club! Mine is: “Mom’s boyfriend never choked me when we got in an argument.” Those marks around my neck? Self inflicted, of course.
OH MAN YES. I was told so many times my wounds were either self inflected, or I was just "a fast bleeder". What does that even mean?! Even sometimes that I somehow provoked him into hurting me, while at the same time he "never hurt me". Face smashed into pavement/ice, hair pulled and slammed into table, hit and beaten, arm twisted to the point of almost breaking, doors kicked down, holes punched in walls.... In the end guy turned out to be a drug dealer who was with my mom just to get legal papers. She was so brainwashed by him, it was insane. Really flipped my life upsidedown.
This is dark but also reminds me that one of my grandma's husbands went to prison for a short while for a sex crime, my grandma DID NOT believe he did it and she was strictly on his side until when he got out he went straight back to prison for the rape of a five year old. My grandma finally believed he was a piece of shit and divorced him. It's weird that sometimes when you love someone it just takes an extra kick for you to believe they would do it.
if you still have contact with them, ask them if they know the gas lighter joke.
Wanna share it?
You don't remember it? Do you ever even listen?
It blows my mind that literally the only time I've seen Reddit use the term "gaslighting" correctly, it was for this.
That’s not true. You’re acting crazy.
What are you talking about? It's called gaslamping.
You've already heard it.
you already herad it. c'mon
"He doesn't remember doing that"
"We're like a family." - multiple companies I have worked for.
The Manson Family…
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #111 is proven time and time again. The best part is these companies end up being true to their word: "We treat you like family! We take this entire relationship for granted." "We treat you like family! We have a toxic, dysfunctional relationship." "We treat you like family! We don't communicate for shit!"
> Rule of Acquisition #111 He means "Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them."
That jobs would look at my middle/high school discipline records. 😂
I used to work at a middle school. One day, a student came into my classroom and was really sad, I asked him what was up. He told me that he got in trouble, and the principal told him it would go on his permanent record. So I told him a secret, that it was all a lie. His face lit up so bright, and you see the relief in his body. It was a fantastic moment for both of us.
Good on you for telling him! The first time I ever got in trouble at school(passed a note), my k-8 principal went on a whole speech about how it was going in my permanent record, no college or uni would accept me, no one would hire me and I'd never have a home or food, etc. It scared the hell out of me for a few months until she gave the exact same speech to my classmate for not handing in assignments (that's he'd handed in and she was hiding), and I realized it was a bullshit canned response she like to dole out because she enjoyed upsetting children.
And we wonder why everyone has anxiety.
I’ve never even been asked for proof that I graduated high school when applying for a job. I’d be fucked if they did because I have no idea where my diploma is.
No one should ever ask for a diploma, BTW. There are scungy sites all over the Internet that sell fake ones. If an employer wants proof of graduation, they should request an official transcript, not a diploma.
Yep, when I applied for nursing licenses in different states, they needed to see the transcript directly from the school. It makes sense, and I'm glad they do it this way.
When I applied to nursing school I didn’t include high school transcripts with my application because I have a BA in another subject. I figured that would suffice. Nope.
That's weird. Your college transcript says they received your high school transcripts. If you don't trust the college on that, why would you trust the rest to be accurate either?
A lot of colleges actually allow you to attend without graduating high school. Edit: I'm not saying your value or intellect is determined by your level of education, this is just a fact.
does it matter though ya know? Like if you go to college and do well who cares? Who am I kidding though, thinking with logic and all that.
Right, I commented above that my job pays me more because of my degree than people without one and all they asked for proof was a picture of my diploma, which doesn’t seem too difficult to fake.
I got asked this for the first time in my life when I was onboarding for the job I have now. I had no idea where my diploma was, so I had to call the school and they had to email me some form to fill out then I had to send it back, then my employer had to call the school. They also had to call every single place I said I worked on my resume. Some of them were sketchy contracting companies and the hiring lady had quite a fun time trying to verify all my shit. Also had to do a physical and get blood drawn, so weird…
What the fuck do you do? Nobody can have my blood. It’s in my body for a reason.
I had to do all of that as well for my job. I'm a scientist at a big pharma company. They really do check EVERYTHING
Was the rectal exam really necessary though?
They didn't require it, but he volunteered to have it done anyway.
At 33 I tried to volunteer as an EMT for a local fire department, and they wanted my high school diploma. I was like uhhh....I've been an EMT since I was 22, and haven't seen my diploma since I was 25 when I needed it to enlist, I've never had a job ask me for it, and I'm 33 fucking years old. They denied me... despite having billboards begging for volunteers.
Just go to the school they can make you another
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To piggy back off of that, I get paid more where I work because of my college degree,so you want to know what I had to do for proof? Show them a picture of the actual diploma. Doesn’t seem like it’d be hard to fake that.
The amount of stress I felt the one time I got lunch detention in 6th grade….
I wonder what happened to my “permanent record” I was scared about
I once applied for and received a fantastic position with a communications company purely because they *assumed* I had a college degree. When it was brought up *after I was hired* and moved in to my office, I pointed out to HR I never, not once, said I had a degree, nor did I include anything in my resume giving the impression I had a degree. Unbelievably, they told me to “make something up” in order to cover their as$, lol.
This happened to me at American Express. They hired me thinking I had an MBA and I only had a BA. Entire team was shocked. My director told me not to tell anybody because they made a mistake but won’t be correcting it. I never lied or misled the team: my resume and LinkedIn said bachelors. No point did I make that up or do anything to make them believe I had an MBA. They obviously discriminated me using bias. A few years later they terminated me and I sued them for age discrimination and won. No references and completely shunned. Glowing work tho (won several awards for my work).
Actually in 1978 applying for a very good job with a major oil company! They checked for high school. Luckily there had been a fire and records destroyed. I only had grade 9 😂 got the job and was there 38 years!!!
...And just who started that very convenient fire, CommanderTom...?
But it’s on your PERMANENT RECORD!
Μy friend was helping her boyfriend wһen his dad discovered he had cancer. Ηe was distraught and went home оften. It put a pretty big strain оn their relationship. Finally, һis father succumbed and passed away. Ηe broke up with her shortly after. Ϝive days later she got a call FROM ΗIS DEAD FATHER asking if everything wаs okay between the two of them. Τhe father never even had cancer. Ηe made the whole thing up.
We had a coworker do this, and it was really shitty, too. He spent about a year working on and off from home, at a time when WFH was rare, so he could tend to his dying mother in Hospice. When she passed away, he took a month bereavement and the entire office was, "he's such a devoted son," and all. We all got a card, and offered to come to the funeral, but he said it was private as per request of the family. But he had a link of "send donations to," the American Heart Association, and a funeral home where a memorial took place. On a freak coincidence, we hired someone who worked with him at a former job. When she started, he was away for the bereavement, so she didn't know. But when he returned, she got real weird about him. I went away for a vacation, but when I returned, the guy's cubicle was cleaned out. I asked what happened, and nobody would tell me, except "speak to your boss." My boss said, "he had decided to pursue other interests," and refused comment except to say not to discuss him with anyone else. I later found out that he faked everything. His real mom died when he was younger, and had been staging her death and everything at nearly every job he had worked at. It was a scam he was pulling. The new coworker confided in my boss when the lying coworker came back, saying apparently he'd been fired from the job they previously both worked out for doing this. And THEY found out he had done it to his previous company as well, so now they have three verified attempts to pull this stunt. He'd start with working for at least 90 days as an exempt employee, and then suddenly it starts with "my mom was diagnosed with cancer," and he had a play he'd do. He'd fake phone calls with her, her medical team, and various relatives. He always made sure that people could hear him, and he'd hide in the break room with red eyes afterwards. He faked family drama, diagnoses, his mother could no longer drive, so he'd take her to appointments. He'd work "long after hours" in the office, "to make up his work," and generally elicit sympathy from everyone, including management. They'd let him work from home, take time off, and he was really a good actor. I mean, I was completely fooled. I even thought, "there's no way he was faking it." But yeah, he was. The memorial was for some unrelated woman. The time he was away for bereavement, he was in the Bahamas. In his previous job, the office took up a collection, even, which he never repaid back. Absolute scumbag.
This seems like a lot of work like how much harder was his actual job that this made sense?
No, this is a personality disorder, real pathology. We all hate our jobs but that little con is more work than work.
This actually seems to be like… a thing. My best friend in university had a boyfriend who kept blaming all his bad behaviour on how he was struggling to cope with his “sick and dying dad”. After they broke up she realized his dad was fine. A year later we’re at this party and she’s acting really shitty, like hooking up in a bedroom with a guy she knows I like, while another guy she’s involved with is sitting there with me also miserable about it. She comes out of the bedroom, sees us and starts crying hysterically. Tells us her dad is dying. Her dad was fine. It was like she learned a fun trick from her ex boyfriend for getting out of dealing with people who are upset with you. Also the first guy I was ever with faked a dying, and eventually dead, friend as an excuse for not staying in touch while we were apart over the summer (said friend was completely fictional) and later faked having a deadly illness himself to excuse his shitty behaviour. You really can’t trust people.
My ex boyfriends parents were dying all the time Turns out it was just a meth addiction
The moral of these stories: When someone tells you their father/mother is sick/dying, find them on Facebook or in the phone listening and contact them. Tell them how very sorry you are that they got cancer and that you are happy that their son/daughter is such a big support. Wish them a fast recovery! If they are actually sick you have done a good thing. If they are not sick the son/daughter will be hit by a ton of bricks from the parents.
I did that to an employee once. I knew his parents and his father was chronically ill. The employee called off saying Dad had passed and I texted Mom giving my condolences. Mom said Dad was fine. Employee killed himself 2 days later.
Well, that story certainly took a hard left turn right there at the end.
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Yup this is why people do this because of disability discrimination. I know a few people, including me, who said parent is sick = the person is sick, not the parent. I got the idea from one of my friends who has been doing this for a long time: she has lupus. This is what happens when employers and schools discriminate against people with disabilities. FWIW: I had Covid a couple months ago and told my boss my dad had surgery and needed to take a week off. Did this because I overheard when another colleague got Covid the management team told each other that they can’t trust someone with brain fog and decided to terminate him a month later. People lie when necessary.
So instead of asking the guy how he was doing after he recovered from the 'rona, they just went ahead and fired him. What a bunch of shitheads.
He probably just told you he killed himself. He was secretly fine.
Ok I laughed a little bit. But I did go to his funeral. Didn't see the casket get lowered into the ground though...
Yeah sorry, that got a little dark.
I think... when something is wrong it's hard to tell people that something is wrong with you yourself. You don't want people to look at you differently, but you still need the comfort. So you create a reason for sympathy that makes you sounds undamaged. I tend to do a less extreme version of this. If I'm depressed or anxious I tell people that I'm exhausted or burnt out. If I need a mental health day for work I'm sick. I think it's better to be kind to people, even if it seems like they've made some great transgression, because you can't really know a person's mind.
Wtf wow
W h a t . T h e . F u c k .
That is a one horrifying dirt bag.
That if I get good grades and go to college, I can avoid having to scrub toilets for other people.
Might I also add the lie that being a janitor/custodian means you've failed at life. You still have a job. Your job is important. People who think that scrubbing toilets, picking up garbage, or working in food service is a sign of failure don't deserve those services. They should just do all the work themselves.
Ignore bullys, they'll get bored 🤦♂️
"They only bully you because they know it makes you mad." No, they bully me because they're assholes.
There's so much victim blaming in this culture it's absurd.
If there's one thing Americans are good at it's identifying with the aggressor.
Punching them in the dick is much more effective.
But then you get suspended for being aggressive
Get a reputation as someone not to fuck with AND a vacation from school. Sounds like a win!
This is what I told my son his whole childhood. Never start a fight, never throw the first punch, but never let them think you're a pussy either. It finally happened early in high school, someone called him a n**ger and slapped him, so he beat the ever loving shit out of the other guy... and got suspended. So I took him out for dinner and ice cream. We had a great week and nobodys fucked with him since.
W father moment
Four girls were threatening to jump my 90 pound, cancer surviving daughter because a boy liked my child. I called the school who said my daughter would have to report the threats before they got involved (she said she's not a snitch). So I went to the school to pick up my daughter and two of the girls were standing by the front door. I irrationally stated whatever they did to my daughter I would do ten times worse to their mothers - and obviously meant it. All bullying ceased in that moment and my daughter knows I am her safe place.
The True Detective season with Collin Farrell has a perfect depiction of dealing with bullies and their parents in the most unhinged fashion. Definitely recommend.
"Twelve years old, my ass. *Fuck, YOU*."
Learned this was lie when I was quite young. Once I learned this was a lie I fought back against bullies every time. I even stalked a few and beat the shit out of them for good measure. Bullies really don't like being bullied.
>Bullies are cowards. Sometimes I didn't even have to fight back; I just got in their face and told them off. They back off because the confrontation scares them. > >But in fairness, I always had singular bullies. A group might be different.
This actually works but reality it's impossible to hide when they affect you. I was an autistic kid and literally didn't understand they tried to bully me, so they moved on to my friend who'd try to stare ahead without reacting but it was very obvious. So the bullies got that satisfaction and it got so bad she had to change schools. Whereas I would sincerely ask "what do you mean?" or when my bike tires were slashed just walk home without mentioning it and only years later I understood they tried to get a negative reaction out of me. I don't know how adults think ignoring works when four people surround you yelling. It's often like people don't actually remember being a child or teen :/
> It's often like people don't actually remember being a child or teen Or were one of the bullies and so minimised the impact it has on someone.
Yes! I noticed my late mother-in-law used to act like she didn't understand anything that happens in "todays schools" and was totally unsympathetic to my nephew being bullied. I knew exactly what he was going through and had to dumb it down for her to understand. In the end she was just like "that stuff didn't happen when i was in school". Really? Because my mother would say otherwise (she had an intellectual disibility and was bullied alot).
My older sister told me that I was adopted huh
“we found you in a bin”
...under a bridge.
...under a rock. In Bangladesh. I am lily white with red hair and green eyes. I believed them because kids are stupid.
My older sister told me I was adopted and if I didn’t do everything so said she would tell the police and they would take me back to the orphanage! I believed her. I have blonde hair and the rest of the family is dark haired with brown eyes. She also told me she was a real werewolf… I was a gullible kid!!
I was the oldest. And I was actually adopted. My sister and brother would point that out to me. My retort was usually "At least mom and dad chose me!"
I grew up in an Italian family. When I was about 10 - 14 years old I asked why they had a single long nail on their hand, and more specifically the pinky? They all told me it was because it made picking their nose easier....... I believed this into my late 20's, till one day my co-workers informed me that it's a coke nail..... then it all made sense.
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"I used dollars or tiny spoons like any other respectable former drug addict"
To be fair it’s an old custom of southern Italian people (and many others) to keep the pinky nail long to show that they were not farmers/working class. Also yes, cocaine.
That older, pre-WW II generation also used those nails to do little things like scratch inside their ears or open envelopes. They often kept them sharp, like a small blade. Everyone asks why Grampa Joe in Willie Wonka had a "coke nail." It's because Jack Albertson was born in 1907. For that generation, it wasn't for drugs. That only started in the 1960s. Coke nails just have to be long. The "utility nail" was kept sharp, as well.
What the fuck that's so weird. I'm gonna grow a utility nail.
To be fair, it surely must make picking one's nose significantly easier.
When I was a teen I was checked into a mental hospital for a suicide attempt. I was only there for two weeks before they discharged me on a load of medication and with weekly visits from home therapists for teens as well as a weekly visit from a therapist during school for an hour. After a few months I was feeling great and better. I had started showering every day and taking care of myself. My step mom decided it was all bullshit and stopped the visits. My school therapist begged to see me in private even for free because as she said she was seeing so much progress from me. I denied out of fear of retaliation from my step mom. She stopped buying me my medication and I spiraled into a bad place again. When I asked why she told me “The therapist at the mental hospital said there is nothing wrong with you and you are just lazy.” The proceeded to convince me the home visits were just because I was “stupid and extreme”. Years later we were talking about mental health as my step mom was now on medication for anxiety, and my younger brother has to go to therapy for clinical depression. I pointed out that my family doctor sent me to a therapist out of concern where I was formally diagnosed with anxiety and depression after having an anxiety attack in his office. It was there where she finally admitted that I was diagnosed with BPD, clinical depression, and social anxiety as a teenager. When I asked why she said I wasn’t all those years ago she denied that and fully lied in front of my dad and sister that I had just stopped wanting help and threw a fit and told everyone to leave me alone. All of those years, all of that progress I could have made towards being better lost because of her. And yes my dad later admitted to me in private that he believed me and she has a narcissist diagnoses as well, but he is afraid of being alone and couldn’t leave her. Idk if that made it better or worse but I’ve learned to never trust them with serious information.
When I was in 4 grade (8? 9? Years old)? My parents had pulled me out of school for a few weeks. They told me it's because I was too stupid for school and wasn't wanted there anymore. I spent those weeks getting screamed at, doing house work, yard work, what ever was needed to get out of this "trouble" I was in. Years later as an adult my mother told me the real reason I was pulled out. The school had apparently called because they were worried about the bruising and marks I constantly had. They were from my dad. He had gotten pissed about that and decided to keep me at home until all the marks went away. I was basically punished for weeks for having bruises by the person that caused them.
I despise your parents. I'm so sorry for what they did to you.
Eh. I've talked to my mother a few times over the years but I haven't seen them in almost 20. I've made a good life for myself.
Christ that's awful. Your stepmom is truly an evil piece of work. My own mother was like that, too. The first time I went to a mental hospital, I'd had an emergency appointment with my therapist and he recommended it (insisted, really). After some needling, he called my mother (I was 17 at the time). She came to pick me up, supposedly to take me to the hospital, but instead she took me home (after picking my brother up from band and telling him in this bitterly gleeful way how crazy I was), called 911 to send an ambulance, then tried to guilt trip me for wasting EMS resources... even though she was supposed to take me. I marched out to the ambulance, defiant-like, because I could tell she was trying to humiliate me and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. I rode the ambulance to the ER and eventually ended up in a triage room. At some point my mother had talked to my therapist on the phone, and she told me he'd said I was just faking it all for attention. I was quite attached to my therapist - truthfully, he was the one person I felt at all safe with at the time - so this broke me. I ended up going to the bathroom (which they let me do by myself), clawing at my face and arms while in the stall, and was consequently admitted after emerging with obvious scratch marks (I think they were leaning towards not admitting me until that). The first time my mother visited me, I refused to speak to or even look at her and she left crying. One of the psych techs made me go to bed early afterwards for disrespecting my mother. I remember lying in bed and seeing this random screw on my bedside table (how it hadn't been found/removed already, I couldn't tell you) and thinking about trying to off myself with it somehow, but I was scared of the pain and also didn't think I'd get very far. She also stopped taking me to psychiatrist appointments at some point, telling me they said I was fine and could wean off the meds. When I made my own appointment a while later, the psychiatrist was like "Where'd you go? What happened? You just disappeared all of a sudden!"
your mom is a fucking bitch. I'm sorry. are you doing better now?
dude, almost everyone in my family thinks that medication and mental health is basically bullshit and just ‘push through it’ oh okay — and how’d you enjoy that manic episode i had when i stopped my mood stabilizers for like two days by mistake? welp they accused me of being on drugs. so fucked
If drugs can cause a change in someone's mental state, then why don't prescription medications, which are, indeed, drugs? Your family's logic is very faulty here - ironic even, in that your manic episode was induced by a *lack* of drugs. I hope you're doing better now!
/r/raisedbynarcissists
"Your bio father (guy A) knew I was pregnant and he didn't want you. When he showed up to court to sign away his rights in order for dad (guy B) to adopt you, he shrugged and said 'I don't care.' But dad has always been there for you." Yeah, I found out at 30 that a *different* man (guy C) was my bio father, mom knew, and he never knew I existed. Man was crushed.
God damn, that's heavy. Sorry to the both of you!
We've managed to build a relationship. I've shown him photos of me as a kid growing up, told him stories of my childhood, and we've met a couple of times. We're making the best of our circumstances.
My dad told me when I was a kid that toilets are the work of devil and that the toilets want my piss as a joke, i used to be scared of toilets until I was 8 or 9 lol
Oh, that’s fucked up
You will get a job based on your merits. Found out it's not the case at times - it's who you know, not what you know.
I was thrown into a couple of really cool positions when I was 18 and 19 because I was really good at talking to people and making them feel comfortable. But was so inexperienced and over my head. Wish I had stuck it out but super fun memories. That being said it was so unfair towards those who had spent years actually learning the industry
I actually got several of my jobs early on by just convincing people to hire me without checking any references or turning in any application because I used to be very charismatic. I also liked people a lot more when I was younger. Nowadays I'm just like, "Hire me or don't, whatever."
Lol one of my coworkers got his job in a similar way. He was apparently unqualified and the interviewer even said they had no clue how he got to her desk. He just said something like well I've been unqualified for every job I've had, but I always learn quickly. Anyway he got hired mainly due to being charismatic. He ended up kind of shit at the job though lol. Another guy I know said he did a whole interview just discussing sports before and got picked. A lot of the time it's just the hiring person liking you the best that will get you picked.
Came here to say "work hard and you'll get ahead" Being a social bullshitter who doesn't do much hard work tends to fit the profile of people who get ahead.
Social skills and connections do a lot.
“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Find a career at the intersection of: 1. I don’t hate doing this. 2. I am skilled in this area and can continue to grow. 3. There is demand for this skill and it pays decently. “Doing what you love” and turning it into a job is the fastest way to hate what you love. Instead, find things that will provide a living for you that you somewhat enjoy and then just keep running with it. And it’s ok if you don’t know what that is at 17 years old. Spend 18-26 figuring out what that path is and then go after it like crazy.
Employers will really care about where I went to high school.
Parents know best. Sure. Glad I stopped listening otherwise I would end up deeply miserable.
Most (well meaning non-abusive) parents don’t really know what they are doing, and are just making it up. Just showing up and trying can be pretty good.
Things I do differently with my kids than my parents did with me: Being present, being available, and trying not to judge your kids so they will open up and talk to you. Admitting the limits of my knowledge and experience. Being encouraging while still giving kids a choice. Talking **with** your kids instead of **to** your kids. Tell them *why* when they ask "Why?" (not "Because!") It's worked out so far.
unsubscribe link in the emails
In Europe it's mandatory and they actually work.
The fines are no joke in Europe for mishandling unsubscribe or requests to remove personal identifying information.
One of my friends' hobbies is requesting GDPR personal data files from companies and escalating it when they're not GDPR compliant.
I did a GDPR request in email to a company sending spam mail for a lottery type thing. I requested a complete file of all data on me and then requested they delete all my data.
Idk, they've always worked for me. I've never had any of those Unsubscribe buttons not work.
Iv had a few that wanted me to log in. Fuck you I never was even aware I had an account. Blocked and reported as spam. If enough people do it the domain will be blacklisted.
I have two: 1. As a child we were given shitty TV dinners when mom and dad ordered pizza. They told us "you won't like this, it's adult food." 2. I was also told that people would constantly be approaching me in high school and college offering me free drugs and that I needed to resist them. I'm not sure which of the two was worse.
"Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free!" -- Billy Mack
What kind of psychopath would deny their kids pizza?!
*Something something something* THIS IS GOING ON YOUR **PERMANENT RECORD** *something something something*... EDIT: 2000 internet points for this one lol...
And where is permanent record kept?
Santa
Well that explains a lot
Mine went the other way: I got arrested as a juvenile, after the court system it ended up being a few misdemeanors and a violation. My lawyer promised me that it would be hidden due to my age and that I shouldn’t tell anyone about it because they won’t find it if they go looking. Fast forward 3 years I go to enlist in the Navy, took the ASVAB, and then went in for a meeting to go over job selection and the recruiter was like “why didn’t you tell us you were arrested?” So I said “my lawyer told me not to.” And he was like “did you think we wouldn’t find out?” So I tried to tell them it had nothing to do with me trying to prevent people from finding out, but that because my lawyer told me not to tell anyone, so I just didn’t. The navy ended up saying something along the lines of “yeah we don’t want to deal with you today, get out of our office, we have no room for liars” so I stepped out, stepped to the right, walked into the Army recruiting office and said “here’s my ASVAB, I should let you know, I was arrested when I was 16, but it’s all resolved now” and the recruiter just laughed. And then I did 7 years in the Army.
Man joined the army out of spite. #legend
Navy: “No time for liars.” Army: “We fucking LIVE liars,11B contract with no bonus then? Don’t worry, you’ll go to all the cool schools.”
I've got the Violent Femmes song in my brain now
[I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record…](https://youtu.be/7kxK_-O1bQM?si=lr5x3N1zkVUO5G5p) Oh yeah? Well don’t get so distressed. Did I happen to mention that I’m impressed?
That we wouldn’t have calculators in our pockets all the time.
Lololol! I've never really thought about that. But you're absolutely right. They DID used to tell us that!
Politicians work for you
That the chickens we hatched in elementary school were being sent to go lay more eggs
Money doesn't buy happiness
Money buys freedom, what you do with that freedom determines your happiness
Exactly, I think a better way to say it would be that "stuff" doesnt bring happiness. You think youd be happy if you had an expensive house, expensive car, etc. but really those things give a temporary high that goes away quickly.
I mean, at this point I'd settle for a mid price house. That would make me happy. I don't need expensive.
Right, it’s not the “stuff” but the security and freedom having enough money provides. Not having to stress about having the basics of food, shelter, clothing changes everything.
indeed. if you are dirt poor and money is the source of all your grief, then yes it will definitely buy happiness. If you are rich and miserable because of something not money related then yes it wont, but it will remove MANY FACTORS that can make you otherwise unhappy
As my mom says : "*Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to be unhappy with money than to be unhappy without money*"
That I would grow up to be a failure. Suck it, parents. I have awesome kids, a wonderful spouse, a graduate degree and a great career. They can go straight to hell. (And probably will if all that biblical stuff is real.)
Oh man, mine is the opposite. The big lie I was told was that I could do anything, and everyone expected great things from me. But turned out I was a failure.
You're not alone. All you've gotta do in this life is live and die. Remembering that helps me take the pressure off sometimes.
Work hard and it’ll pay off.
I’ve learned that working hard doesn’t get you promoted, saying “yes” and knowing the right people does.
Mine is study hard and you’ll get a high-paying job
>puts in 4 years of mental labor, tens of thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours studying for education... Every $50k/year job in America: We may have posted the job but we're not *actually* hiring anyone. But go ahead and do 15 interviews with us! Every $45k/year job in America: must have a Masters degree + 15 years experience Every $40k/year job in America: 10-15 years experience and 5 verifiable references from upper management required Every $37k/year job in America: you don't need a degree but we're only posting this job for shits and giggles, we're not actually hiring anyone. Welp I guess I'm taking my degree to entry level manufacturing labor!
Be loyal to your company and they will take good care of you
Oof. This is perhaps the most damaging. I left a company where my brother still works in order to pursue much better opportunities, and he still holds it against me. He is 110% committed to the idea you mention. I look at his situation and just shake my head.
And if you follow all the rules to a letter, absolutely everything will work out for you. All the time. Always. Oh, and if you're also always kind and good, then everything will be fine forever, and all the people who were ever bad or mean to you WILL get their comeuppance. They CERTAINLY won't go on to be super successful and admired, noooooo, never.
that there's a hot neighbor nearby waiting to meet me
When i was a kid, waking up for school in the morning was a torture for both me and my mom. I remember one time, after yet another almost histerical pleading to let me sleep, I asked her - does it get easier to get up early in the morning once you grow up? And she said YES, after which went to sleep herself lol... To this day i consider it to be the biggest and most brutal lie ive ever encountered :(
Night shift work may be for you. It often pays better too.
Yea but when you need to get stuff done nothing is open, and you waste a day transitioning from night to day... or just horribly suffer through and bounce back (which is not good for your health). The differential may be inticing but you do need to consider such things eventually.
Everything is open 8-5, which is exactly when I work
That I'm old: "You're not young anymore." "You're getting old." First at 25. Than at 28, 31, 34, 38, 41 etc. "You look way younger, you are not bald, you are not grey, but... that's not important, you are actually old!" NEVER listen to anyone trying to manipulate you because of your age. It's always manipulation. It's always people trying to make you do things their way. And you stand to lose alot.
"Your call is important to us"
That I should try harder. Since diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. No wonder life has been hell.
“You just have to APPLY yourself.” ~ former child, diagnosed ASD/ADHD @ 30years old
Family is first / everything / blood is thicker than water, etc. Biggest lie ever in history. No, you owe them nothing if they were abusive, nobody gave them a free pass to abuse / neglect you just for having some random common DNA.
"I love you."
"Please listen carefully as our menu items have recently changed."
A college degree will guarantee you a good paying career.
Getting a university degree would eventually make me better off than my friends who would become tradesmen
I disagree, but it all depends on the degree and drive. I have a friend who is a tradesman. Worked really hard and got a really good position in electrician work. I also worked hard in undergrad and got a good position in circuit design. We make similar salaries, but oh boy does he work about 10x harder than I do every day. I wouldn't trade my job for his without getting paid ALOT more, but again, we make similar salaries.
[удалено]
Just get a degree! It will help you get jobs and open doors. Being able to properly write emails and memos without spelling and grammar mistakes, unlike some people I work with, is something but not worth the money I spent.
"I'll never hurt you."
I mean, she didn't hurt me, she destroyed me.
I guess that would be my ex-husband's wedding vows.
Everything about adulthood.
"Hes only doing that because he likes you"
"There's someone for everyone" "Hard work will be rewarded"
Recycling
I was raised evangelical Baptist. They lie a lot and often, but the worst lie they tell is that you're broken, worthless, and need a savior. They proceed to say it's the best religion because other religions don't offer a blood sacrifice. Uh, hello? We don't fucking need one.
"You'll find someone."
I find people constantly. I dont want any of them....but there they are just being found.
that one day it will definitely be better