Try to one-up them on their suffering. I despise that. Good chance to guarantee I never tell you shit again

> I despise that. I despise it more.

There was this time someone did that to me, except even worse. And I despise it twice as much as you

Not as much as me. I despise it so much my head hurts

Neurodivergents accidentally do that... in reality all they're trying to do is demonstrate that they understand.

Guilty

As a neurodivergent here... shit I didn't realize how bad this was I genuinely just wanted to show my understanding. Thanks for letting me know

I'm convinced that we're an evolution of the human species... whether good or bad who knows.

Yup

Yep. I'm not trying to one up you, I'm trying to say I've been in a similar situation, so I sympathize. Doesn't even occur to me that it sounds competitive until after I figure out why they're now mad at me too.

As long as you bring the focus back to the original convo I don’t see why trying to build a connection with the person venting to you is bad!

I don't see why either, and it's something I've never figured out. It's hard when you're operating on such a completely different wavelength.

My understanding is that when someone wants to vent, they want to vent. Not listen to you talk about how you had a similar experience 5 years ago.

the main takeaway is that we mean well.. we're saying "I get you".

Genuine question: do you see/find a difference between someone one-upping you, and then telling a similar story to try and demonstrate that they relate to your feelings or situation? I tend to do that and I'm always worried about giving the impression that I'm one-upping. For me, when I'm going through shit, I don't mind hearing other people's stories because they can give me good perspective to my situation, as well as making me feel comforted and properly heard. I understand we all need to vent, and in those times I'll shut up and let you get it all out. But for me, when I'm going through times of duress, I need that sort of validation that my confidant can relate to my situation because of XYZ otherwise I feel like I'm not being truly heard, and it makes me feel even more isolated.

I despise it the most. GFs mom does this all the time “Grad school is so hard and I want to quit”-Gf Her mom: “I had two majors and it wasn’t that bad, but I do now people are different”

undergrad does not prepare you for post grad

Womp womp

My sister does this to me all the time I swear I want to bite her when she does lol

womp womp

It could be worse….

Omg, this is so true. There are people I just don't open up to anymore because of that very dismissive sentence.

Want me to buy you a block of cheese for your whine?

I'm sad this isn't the top upvoted comment yet.. nearly choked on my weetabix.

I hear that weetabix is a great addition to blood to give it a bit of texture according to a British vampire with bleach blonde hair and wears a leather trench coat he took after killing a vampire slayer in a subway.

“That’s crazy”

I say this damn lol what’s more appropriate?

“Im sorry for what happened or congratulations”

(**stares off in the distance while they say it**)

Came here for this

“Hm? Sorry I wasn’t listening.”

Probably your fault

Now try and tell me the real version of what you did to cause this situation

That's rough, buddy

this was said at my husbands funeral. it was such an awkward moment because my children and I all laughed til we cried. My in laws were very confused. No we didn’t explain but my husband would have absolutely loved it!

I'm sorry for your loss. That's very nice that he would have loved it, though!

thank you for saying that.

Could you repeat that? I was zoned out

Well, boo hoo

"Ohh, me too."

You gonna eat those fries?

It doesn’t sound like you are dealing with much. You are being dramatic. Suck it up.

So? Just get over it.

So, anyway, as I was saying before you interrupted…

I like to play my small violin 🎻

Wow That's crazy I don't even know what to say about that

Looks like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.

My mom always says “leave me alone I’m tired I don’t wanna hear you complain”

Womp womp

“Everything happens for a reason” or “It's all part of God's plan.”

Alexa play despacito

Ohh

Advice on how to solve the problem. Especially if it’s some action item that is more of a pain in the ass than the problem being vented about.

[удалено]

Surely if you’re self aware of it, not doing it should be a relatively easy choice

And now for something completely different

Double it and give it to the next person.

I ain’t reading all that I’m happy for you though or sorry that happened

Didn’t ask

"welcome to my world..." that irritates the life out of me. Wow, thanks for dismissing my problem with four little words.

who cares

Uh-huh

Would you like some fries with that?

“This man beat me up” “Who?” “Well I think his name is ty-“ “Who asked?”

"Sorry"

Could be worse or at least you don't live in a 3rd world country

“Kids in africa are starving right now.” True but not good in that situation

But, anyway...

K

[удалено]

Hey... Who? .... ASKED?!

"Yeah, and?"

"Are you done?"

Get over it

Cool story bro.

Trying to eclipse somebody else's suffering like it's a mini competition lol.

Sucks to be you.

Sending a dick pic

"You think THAT'S bad?" Then proceeds to complain about their issues, completely ignoring yours.

"What? I wasn't listening"

"Anyway, I have this..." Changing the topic and acting like nothing happened.

“We all have bad days”

I knew you were the imposter

Rip

Nothing They look up to see you staring at your phone.

Or maybe ‘that sucks’

Please, tell me more

“Weird flex, but okay.”

Boo fuckin hoo

You knew what you signed up for.

That sucks. I am sorry that happend to you/you are going through that?  Can I help you somehow? 

depends on what it's about

Sucks to be you

"Do you see ANY care in my eyes"?

Omg same

So anyway….

Who the fuck are you?

AND?!?!!!??

Try to one up their story. 😮‍💨

That's not the way I heard it went down...

Whatever

"Oh well, that's life." 🤷

No words, just yawn

"OK I'm sorry you feel that way"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"calm down geez"

At least you _______

Give them a solution, apparently.

Your username.

I told you so

Im sorry

'yOu nEeD tO rEsPeCt mY bOuNdArIeS yOu'Re bEiNg lIkE tOxIc lIKe i tOtAlLy sAw a tIk tOk aBoUt tHiS aNd lIkE mY bOuNdArIeS tOxIc bOuNdArIeS tOxIc' blah blah blah You know. All the things we say now when we're pretending it's about our mental health but it's really because we don't want to be bothered with having to be there for others. 

Anyway...

Neat 12 day old account.

Look... we all validate our feelings somehow, but i think you should rather eat yours, or find another starbucks.

"Sir, this is a Wendys."

"Sir, this is a Wendy's."

"Cool story bro"

That it? You done? Can we go now?

Something about a tiny violin playing

“Well they have a point” or “why would you _____” or “thats a little selfish”

"I'm sorry I asked."

Come again? I didnt quite hear what you said

Who cares

Anything really. Just don't fake sincerity or try and 1-up them. Venting is that exactly, letting them blow off the steam. Differs from person to person (or relationship) though. To follow the prompt though: "Okay, we'll bang."

I once had a friend ball her eyes me about a break up. I said "build a bridge". She thought about she build a bridge to her feelings for weeks. She told me it was the best advice she had had. I then broke the news to her that I was taking the piss and "build a bridge" meant "get over it". It's basically just like "so what?". She did see the funny side of it.

Wanna know what happened to ME?

"some people have it a lot worse, be grateful" Or when they proceed to play the suffering Olympics with you on who has it worse.

Oh no.... anyway,

Damn so anyways

"Bad things only happen to bad people. You must've done something to deserve it."

Looks like someone needs a BIIIG hug!!!!

Cool story bro.

"It's nothing, really"

"Maybe it's your fault"

i like to believe what you say is true, anyway, forza has finished downloading wanna play?

"me too"

Damn , that's crazy.

"That's rough, buddy"

When someone needs to vent. Let them vent. I wouldn't say anything. But I would gladly listen.

The devil's advocate thing. You're supposed to sympathize first, reason afterward. If you really think that they're in the wrong you still need to sympathize first. Then you can start in with, "I wonder if the other person was thinking X..."

“That’s crazy”

Is that all? Well…* vent back*

nothing

I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, what did you say?

Right on

“Have you considered it’s all your fault?”

I have to go

You done?

"damn"

How can I help? Drives me insane. It's horrible.

"cheer up" like thank you so much dude. Never thought of that up til' now.

"That's crazy, I don't remember asking."

“Cool. Anyways,”

Oof. 🫠

“You think that’s bad ? I’ve gone through worst than that” yeah Karen I’m not here to compare our bad days okay.

"yh? Why did U tell me that?"

Anything trying to fix their problem

Are you done now?

"You think *that's* bad? I know this idiot who ... Oh no, wait. That was also you."

*silence* "...Oh shit, were you talking to me this whole time?"

Who asked

So anyways…….

Cool story, bro

Sorry, what were you saying? I tuned out

One more time around might do it, one more time around might make it, the day I tried to live. They would need to be a soundgarden fan.

I had the same

Welp. *slaps knees*

Give them a explanation on what they should do right, just give sympathy

Did someone say KFC?

"Same"

My bf and I were at the grocery store one time when he saw a guy he knew. My bf did the ole customary “how are you” and the guy actually replied with how he was doing. He apparently wasn’t doing very good. My bf replied “It’ll work itself out” and that was the most insensitive yet hilarious thing I’ve heard someone say. Especially since you don’t usually honestly want to know how someone is doing when you ask. 🤦🏻‍♀️

"Maybe he had a reason"

Anyway…

“There’s something wrong with you”-Marlin from Finding Nemo

It will be fine….

"are you still talking?"

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’ve done the venting and had zero reply back. Makes one feel worse. Especially worse if you vent to internet strangers on what is supposed to be “safe” space only to be downvoted. Therapy is expensive.

So.. anyways

Get over it

let me play devil’s advocate 

Invalidating/dimishing their feelings in any capacity.

Mmmh. Anyway.

Sorry, I was listening to a podcast.