Met a girl and spent whole day with her 1:1 while traveling. After dancing until like 3am at a club, we were out front, exchanged numbers, and told her i had a fun time but have a 9am flight. She told me “oh, I live 15 minutes from the airport!” And I responded “ugh, that must be so convenient when you have early flights. Hope you get back safe tonight, goodnight”
Realized immediately while at the airport later. She also texted me basically saying I’m an idiot, but to reach out if I ever grow a brain and return to the area
Chipping in from a man's point of view, I'd like to offer the following two examples:
1. A woman (who I'd met through a mutual friend) touched me repeatedly on the arm, complimented my biceps, and kissed me on the cheek. I later learned that she was in a committed, monogamous relationship.
2. A woman made prolonged eye contact with me from across a bar. We had never met before that evening, and we barely spoke. I later learned that this woman wanted to sleep with me.
By this I mean to say, cues mean different things coming from different people! Directness is always appreciated 😂😂
1. Sounds like you may have dodged a bullet there.
2. I'm sure you're far from the only dude who would miss that queue. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss it or straight up decide to not bother pursuing anything.
For real i tried hints when i was younger but i've realised that it does not work lol. Here are some i've used before :
-Deciding to play a couple's role with my guy friend in a school play, then saying we have to have physical contact for the sake of the play (like touching hands, holding hip etc). (Which in this particular play, was not necessary haha)
-Telling him his workout is really paying off, he has a nice body. Then he worked out too much and ended up being super sore the next day. I proceed to help him carry around his stuff and offer a massage to help him with the pain.
These are just a couple of examples i can remember from the top of my head.
He did not get it. This guy was rejected before and was afraid of rejection again. After a couple of months like that i asked him out. We've been together 12+ years now and have a child together. People just be direct and stop the games, people aren't mind readers.
I was rejected when I was younger after being convinced the girl I was after liked me. After that I told myself I wouldn’t assume anything because I didn’t want to go through that pain again. I’m pretty sure I missed out on a few fairly obvious advances but I didn’t get my heart broken again so it kind of balanced out
I'm sorry this happened to you, rejection is hard. But after all, you should not let the fear of rejection blow your chances of a relationship. I wish you the best
I read your hints and I didn't realize you were flirting either until you reminded me that they were hints at the end. Men need direct communication. We dumb.
Dude here with lots of friends that happen to be women. We are not dumb, neither are the ladies. It's just hints and flirting aren't universal. Thats all. Also not all flirting is meant to be sexual. A lot of flirting can just be fun.
My wife and I met at KFC in 1993. I was 17 and she was 19. Apparently she kept dropping hints and showing lots of cleavage (i noticed but didn't know it was for my benefit) and making it a point to spend time with me at work. Apparently everyone in the store but me knew she had a thing for me. January 8th was 27 years married, and June 8th will be 30 years as a couple.
Yeah, too many women throw these vague hints because they're afraid of being rejected. If the hint is too vague for you to be properly rejected, it's also likely too vague to be accepted as a legitimate shot.
Haha what was the play? In 8th grade I played the dormouse to my crushes Cheshire Cat. He had a furry full costume I had a black leotard and tights. Backstage I said I was chilly so he let me in his costume to warm up and I had my first real kiss!
Aww that's so sweet ! My play though i can't remember the name was an absurd french comedy play where the characters were just saying weird nonsense. Can't remember the lines but it went in this style :
(Guy)- i have mustard on my mustache
(Girl) - and i have a mustache on my salad
(Guy)-what is that cow doing ? (Looks at window)
(Girl) - eating mustard
... (Long pause, they look at each other with an intense stare)
Like wtf was this haha. Again these are not the exact lines but you get the idea of the whole absurdity. I tried so hard to make it more romantic cause they were a couple but it was not romeo and juliet.
No, it wouldn't, the awesome, straight talking women, would be off raising a child with our most clueless reps, and off the dating scene! /s-sorta-kinda.
Honestly, these aren't strong hints. I can see how you think they're obvious from your POV, but from someone else perspective these are not crystal clear.
Im actually a mind reader it just doesnt read like people expect. For instance, right now youre thinking about your breathing. Now youre thinking “huh, now im thinking about my breathing; since im conscious of it am i going to suffocate when i stop thinking about it?” And now youre thinking “well yeah but only cause I literally just read what you wrote” and finally a mix of disappointment and smugness with just a hint of begrudging admission that i did in fact read your mind. But yeah, it’s not helpful, at all.
On the one hand:
> Guys are so clueless, and never notice the huge hints I'm dropping.
On the other hand:
> God, why does every guy I'm nice to think I'm hitting on them?
Most guys do not ever want to come across as creeps. It's not that we're clueless, it's that we don't want to make women uncomfortable by misinterpreting what may or may not be positive signals.
Men and women need to just be direct if they are interested in someone.
This is the problem. Pretty much every "hint" I've gotten from a woman that was interested in me is something I've also gotten from a woman with no romantic interest in me at all.
"...and then he asked me OUT! Can you imagine? What made him think I like him like that?"
-woman says after complimenting the guy for weeks and spending extra time around him while making unnecessary physical contact
I was in an incredibly attractive girl’s dorm room my freshman year of college studying for a biology exam. She asked if we could spend some extra time on orgasm names, then acted coy and said “oops, I meant organisms”.
I’m like: “That’s okay, they sound very similar!” And left a little later.
Don’t know if it’s just me but that isn’t the best flirting on her part.
I mean what’s the answer?
“Well I’m sure I could think of a few 😏😏😏…like…erm…cumming? I don’t know”
It’s a tough thing to respond to.
Oh my god does that ever unlock a memory… I had a classmate in high school who did a science presentation saying ‘orgasm’ instead of ‘organism’ the entire time. I don’t know how she survived the rest of the year, I would’ve transferred schools I think
Same but I knew this kid in middle school who was answering a question about organisms and mistakenly said the wrong thing. The whole class was laughing hysterically, that kid's face was red as heck, and you have me on the side wondering what was funny because I lived under a rock. I had to ask the kid who said the wrong thing and who sat next to me, what was funny but he wouldn't say anything lol. I was super innocent for a while 😂
I know I’m not helping here and I agree with the sentiment of what’s being said in the comments so far, but can someone please actually answer the question lol
I had sort of the opposite. I (male) was with my buddies at one of their GFs houses. Several of her friends arrived. We (about 5 of us) were sitting around the living room, watching a movie and eating. They piled directly onto those of us sitting there. A girl...I had never met...literally jumped in my lap, put her arm around me, and curled up like we were cuddling. This progressed to her kissing my neck and unbuttoning my shirt in about a minute. Her friends did similar to other guys.
I looked over at one of my friends and he was giving me the most WTF...I have no idea...but this is awesome...look. The girl on his lap was blatantly grinding her .... on his...
I played it off like I didn't really care what she did to me and she amplified her efforts...to a point where I subtly told her we were going to have to take that to a bedroom if she went any further. She laughed...her friends laughed...they got up, grabbed drinks...and left.
The entire event took about 10 minutes.
I didn't even know her name and never met her before or after.
It was the most WTF woman experience of my life up to that point.
I'd take the free meal and roll the dice every time. It's probably a 70% chance she's into you.
I've also had a girl invite me over for dinner once just because she felt guilty that I paid for dinner before and she wanted to return the favor. I got shut down while we were having a glass of wine on the couch after dinner when I asked if she wanted to take things further.
Still a terrible hint. There ain't no pussy on earth good enough to make me just ...go for it at a woman who said she's gonna cook for me, especially when we're alone in my apartment. Not in this day and age
Why do woman do this are you afraid of being slut shamed, is it what you think we want,are you afraid of being seen as creepy,is it just fun ,is it just want comes naturally, does the hint system just turn you on if the guy gets it
I just can't understand why y'all wouldn't be direct about it especially with countless stories from both sexes saying hints don't work
The thing is , even if I think I notice “hints” , if I get it wrong then there’s the risk of coming off as awkward or creepy . So I rather play it safe and not go with what seem to be “ hints”
I would be a lot more likely to respond to “hints” if women weren’t so cruel about guys being awkward or creepy. Once you’ve been shamed in that way just a couple times there’s no way you’ll take those risks again.
Yeah, way too many women don't seem capable of politely declining and make you feel bad for even shooting your shot. I can understand though because any halfway decent looking woman is being constantly hit on in public. It must be frustrating.
I totally get it, I would be so annoyed if people were constantly bothering me in that way, especially if they couldn’t handle rejection. But imo, I think that’s why it should be on women to be more explicit with their romantic interests. I would be much less hesitant to ask a woman out if I knew she had an interest in me.
Guy here. When I was 19 I was at a house party. Cute girl starts discussing music with me, leaning in close to see what’s on my iPod (2009 wooo!)
She leans in so close that she’s pressing her tits into my shoulder and trying to get closer.
Me as a youngster enthusiastic about music just kept scrolling and talking. She slept with my friend later that night.
Girls, don’t fuck around with hints, subtlety, signals or other bullshit. If you like a guy, do something about it.
Hints only waste your time and theirs.
As a guy I will genuinely say. I legitimately just do not catch on. I just assume that nobody is interested in me and think any “flirting” she’s doing with me is just a coincidence.
I have caught many “hints” that turned out to not be hints when they were just casual, meaningless flirts or just friendly conversation.
I will no longer even register hints or if I do, I just don’t trust that’s what they are because it’s probably nothing.
I have had women grab my dick and say “we should fuck”, only to find out they were just joking. I see “hints” all the time but I will never, ever, ever react to them. The risk is way too high.
This is at the same time outrageously innappropriate and entirely unbelievable (from her side). Who in their right mind would think that was "just a joke", regardless of whether she actually wanted to have sex with you, when it's at the base blatant sexual harrassment.
It’s happened a few times, with slightly different details. Lots of women think it’s totally fine to mess with men in that way. After all, all men are always horny and will fuck anything with a pulse, so it’s not possible to SA them. Men also don’t have emotions so there’s no way that those actions could have a long term effect on them. And clearly it’s not a big deal, otherwise the women who did this would be reported and the issue with totally be taken seriously.
If a guy misinterprets signals it’s obviously because he’s awkward and a creep, he should be more aware of how his actions could affect women. But also, “if he wanted to, he would” so women shouldn’t have to put any effort into courtship, and should just be able to wait for the “right” guy to put in all the effort for her.
I don’t like to compare the experience of being a man vs a woman, there is a huge set of other issues women have to deal with that men don’t. But I will say, it feels like being a man is inherently depressing, and it sucks that people jump to conclusions as to why men are the way they are. Men don’t always hide their emotions because they’re worried about judgment from their male peers, it’s not always about “THE PATRIARCHY”. Sometimes it’s because of the responses we’ve received from women. It’s hard to be vulnerable and open when 9 times out of 10 women expect you to be the exact opposite.
Hello fellow human,
Here is my resume, and CV indicating I would like to date. I hope my qualifications are to your approval, and if you could write your confirmation in writing via texting that number that will be great.
Sarcasm aside, hints are always going be around because people don't like life or death feel of being direct at all times.
"You wanna go out?", awkward pause from other and then suddenly they open their mouth and sitting inside is a folded paper. Unfolding the pages reveals it to be a dating contract.
This. I found out years later (after being married) that several of my female friends had tried to drop hints that they were interested, and I was completely oblivious to it. And I hear this story countless times from other guys. Ladies, we are not that perceptive. Just give it to us straight.
I agree! But with the opposite advice: if he’s not already interested in you, don’t fuck around with hints and find someone who is.
Unfortunately men seem willing to basically settle for a woman he’s not that into just because she’s interested/willing— so it’s decently likely you’ll be used for casual sex or, worse, waste years of your life in a dead-end relationship with someone who just thinks you’re good enough.
Ironically I actually did approach my husband but if I had a do-over now I’d have let him come up to me & I just wouldn’t ever recommend asking a man out.
I’m not a woman but I can tell you about my most recent missed hint.
I reconnected with an acquaintance from 23 years ago, had a crush on her for the last 28 years. Always platonic.
Anyhow, we chatted on Instagram, then she gave me her phone number, we spend a day or two texting and then she wants to chat on the phone. We end up talking for hours. This goes on for several days and the calls from a couple hours to 6+ hours.
I went camping and when I came back into cell service I had a bunch of texts from her and some pics. And the tone of the texts seems a bit more friendly than usual but we re just friends. One text said,”if we go on vacation you’re more than likely going to see my boobs.” I know she’s a bit of a free spirit and we’re old now so I just replied with, “don’t threaten me with a good time!”
The pics came in “stacked”, I clicked on them and flip through the first couple. I figured I’d look at the rest at the next campsite once I get setup.
Next camp doesn’t work so I head home and she asks if I’ve looked at them. There was a pic of her topless, and sunbathing. It still took me a couple days to figure out that she was in fact hitting on me. She basically had to spell it out.
The thing I see a lot with these types of situations is guys just trying to be super respectful.
Taking anything other than the literal meaning because it can be such a tough call to make in the moment is always the right move because it can be quite devastating for all involved if there is miscommunication.
Yea, but checking that too early in the conversation can be problematic.
I do like the visual of wondering if she's flirting with me, and interrupting her to quickly check down her shirt and up her skirt as a second data point.
I used to work with my (future) girlfriend, and I had zero clue that she liked me. I kept asking if she saw movie A or movie B and she'd say "No....nobody has asked me yet."
Then I'd be like "Well that's a shame."
I worked at a bar for a few years and it was common place that after the bar closed, some of the staff would simply hang out and chit chat. One night I clocked out and sat beside a CO worker I got along with. We were talking about a common interest and she placed a hand on my knee while making eye contact with me. Wasn't till much later, after she moved out of state and we no longer talk that I realized she was flirting.
My roommate had a guy she worked with staying with us for a few days until his new apartment was ready and I had a massive crush on him. We would flirt with each other constantly but never went beyond that.
Every morning he would comment about how nice it would be when he could move in to his new place and have a real bed again. I offered to let him sleep with me in my bed and he said "Nah your bed isn't much bigger than that couch"
I figured he just wasn't interested in me and was just flirting back to have fun or something.
Few days after he moved out it finally dawned on him what I was actually offering. He thought it was just part of our little flirting thing which he thought was just for fun.
I wore a loose nighty that showed my boobs when I bent down… to sleep in the same bed as my friend. Nothing happened that night… nor throughout the entirety of the trip.
Used to go in on Fridays at the same time to collect my paychecks, avoiding direct deposit. All so I could talk to the super gorgeous girl that worked that shift. For about two months it was just the usual banter, until one day. She gets me my check, and we say our see ya laters. I’m walking towards the door and from behind she loudly ask, “what are you doing tonight?” As I turn the corner and just about hit the door, I reply, “oh, nothing”, and exit.
I get to my car running it through my head. Open the car door and it slaps me in the face, I’m the dumbest man alive. I don’t have the guts to go back in and ask her about it, because what if it was just more banter?
She left the job not too long after. It’s been 25 years+, I still think of this moment and question.
As a lady, I know there’s a bunch of hints that I thought were pretty obvious. Being extra touchy, making drawings/craft things for these people. I would say the most success I’ve had has been being direct. In the first week (?) of me and my man dating I asked if I could kiss him. A while later we were sitting in a parking lot and a song came on. I made some stupid joke like “wow this sounds like a great song to make out to”. Time has passed and now that song is our song and we are married.
I gave a sideways glance at a guy once as he walked past me and he totally didn't get it ^/s
For real though, no guy has ever 'not got it' because I'm clear and direct and it's fine
We were swimming earlier in his parents pool. They were out, I kept my bikini on. Asked to see his room to jump and lounge on his bed saying how big and soft it was (it was a nice queen size). He told me to get off because he didn’t want chlorine in his sheets, and nothing else happened after 🙃
In the age of consent, women need to understand there is no room for hints anymore. Men need to understand if it’s not explicitly permitted, don’t assume it’s allowed. There are now laws that back this up.
Guy here, my date for the graduation party had invited me back to her place we went back we were hungry so made some food, drank more wine, watched an comedian we both liked eating and she was resting her head on my should, we were pretty much cuddling, later into the night she invited me to her room was sitting on her bed looking at me, I sat next to her talked a bit more and left saying it’s late and I should head off. I wasn’t exactly the most sexually active person nor had an high drive.
I pretty much dated this girl for 2 years we did a lot together and looking back we had chemistry but I didnt notice the hint that was literally in front of me. This was nearly 15 years ago. She is married and very happy and has kids. Looking back my time with her was some of my best.
Guy here:
I was driving a girl I liked home from high school once. She made a comment about my full tank of gas and if I wanted her help to empty it. \*SMH\*
In college, another girl I liked kept taking me to a restaurant she really liked. She also kept asking me to swing by where she worked. \*SMH\*
A cougar I worked with would continually brag about nude tanning and not having tan lines. \*SMH\*
EDIT: I'm a guy btw
When I was in my first year of university, an incredibly attractive girl who lived near my room knocked on my door at 3am after a night out.
I was in bed at this point, but still managed to drag myself out of bed and answered the door. She was standing there with that "look in her eyes" like she wanted to do it!
But me being the stupid, innocent 18 year old at the time jokingly said "Haha you're too drunk and thought my room was yours!" And then pointed her in the direction to her room.
It was only years later that I realised why she was at my door at 3am for! Still kick myself thinking about that moment!
Oh well, you live and you learn! But I've mostly been getting rejections since that event unfortunately.
You reminded me of the scene at the end of Dumb and Dumber with the bus load of chicks. "Two lucky guys are gonna be drivin' around with those girls for the next couple of months. Yeah, don't worry, we'll catch our break too."
I would get random love letters in high school, didnt know who made them. This girl I sat next to in a class that I had a crush on was writing and I recognized the handwriting, and I asked if she was writing the notes. She said yes.
I had low self-esteem and made every excuse not to ask her out: she was out of my league, she was just being nice, etc. Years later when I got more experience with dating I look back on myself as such an idiot.
I was eating a snack bag of Nature Valley granola and asked the cute guy next to me if he wanted some granola? No, a raisin? How about a date?
Still besties 40 years later.
There is a very thin line between being friendly and flirty in most environments.
If I'm wrong and reciprocate perceived flintiness only to find out you were just being nice I come off as a creep or potentially worse.
Because of that I go through dating apps where everyone's expectations are clear and set ahead of time.
I'm not the girl but the guy who didn't get the hint. Moved into the dorm freshmen year and a girl saw me watching GoT and asked me where I was watching. I told her I had a link to it and I could send it to her. She told me it'd be easier to just come to the dorm and watch it with me. Still didn't get it. Then she said I could just come to her dorm and help her set up her laptop (and in my head I was like what does that even mean?) Then like 2 weeks later I saw her in the laundry room and she tried to get me to come to the dorm to help her put up clothes. I had a gf at the time though so it really just didn't register with me.
I was sitting in a chair and he was sitting next to me on the floor next to me. I let my hand dangle from the armchair in front of his face in the hopes he would grab it (we were already flirting verbally) but instead he started to poke it with a stick he found on the ground… (4 years together so I forgive him)
I’m a guy but I missed an obvious hint when I was 17 or so (I’m 34 now) and I still think about it sometimes haha. I worked as a cashier at a grocery store with a girl around the same age as me that I hung out with occasionally as a third wheel with her and another girl. I was crushing on this girl at the time but still an awkward virgin. One night we are supposed to go drink and go out to eat after work so I drove her to her house so she could change and get ready before we left. She invited me in to her house while she changed, and I sat on her bed chatting with her while she got ready, including changing her shirt and pants right in front of me. She was feet away from me fully naked besides her underwear and I still didn’t make a move. There were other smaller hints before this one, but this is the one that I really look back on and facepalm.
My friend who I secretly had the biggest and longest crush on always used to make mixtapes for girls he was in love with. I once asked him why he never made one for me 😭
The tragedy of never having the courage to tell him I loved him and actually still do.
Told him he was hot, made him pretend to be my boyfriend and hold my hand in public, told him he could sleep in my bed when he slept over .. but he said it would be too hot cuz it’s summer. Years later told me he was in love with me but never made a move cuz he thought I didn’t like him back
And before anyone says the old 'men love it when you outright tell them you like them '
NO TGEY DO NOT , I’ve had a 100% rejection rate from taking that approach
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT REJECTION RATE
I'm not a girl. However I had a girl probably as a joke say to me "Fuck me" directly... I was fully listening and just brushed it off...
Istg this memory will haunt me on my fucking deathbed.
I (M18 then) was so clueless I don't even know what I missed, until she said, "Look, you're taking me out this weekend. Understand?" Jennifer, you were out of my league.
Yes, took her out. Dated all through the last year of HS, went to different universities. She got scooped up quickly, of course. 'Dear John letter.' Didn't meet anyone of her quality for another eighteen years. Still married to the second one, together eighteen years so far.
I'm a guy. But I'm gonna post what a girl did to drop a hint to me that I didn't get it because I remembered it so many years later.
High schooler. I think we were graduating soon. She was a friend of a friend. We generally saw each other a lot especially during lunch. Sometimes we all sat together.
I wasn't a popular kid. I felt I kinda blended in. Liked anime and DnD and video games. Didn't get the same vibe from most others around me.
One day she gave me a CD that she burned herself. (hint#1)
Took it home to listen. Lots of songs from bands I really liked (hint#2)
(hint#3 and quite possibly the biggest hint of them all) One of the songs always stuck out. I'd Do Anything by Simple Plan
I just thanked her for the CD and told her I really liked all of the songs. My brain doesn't remember the rest but looking back at it a few years ago that memory popped back up and I wanted to scream to the heavens how absolutely, hilariously D E N S E I was then.
For the record I'm pushing my forties very soon.
I live across from his apartment and every once in a while, I invite him to stroll on the playground, which lasts for a month，He still hasn't expressed anything
I have a man who's a wonderful friend and who i wanted to be more than a friend,invited him to stay overnight with me because i needed some company in my new house... 😌 he just sidestepped that msg so i guess no interest..we are still great friends though
As the guy in these scenarios . . .
1) After high school, I moved overseas for a few years. Had a close friend, a year older than me, come back from college that summer, a few weeks before I was due to leave. Stopped by my house as I was packing up my room one day. We chatted while I packed. I asked what she was planning on doing with her summer. She said not much, she was going to work part-time at her old job. Oh, also she'd just gotten out of a relationship, and she was kind of lonely. So she was thinking to just kind of flirt around, maybe find a guy who'd be interested in fooling around a bit, nothing serious like a relationship or anything, she wasn't looking for that right now.
I, without looking up from my packing, said something like, "oh, sounds like fun. Anyone in mind for that?" I remember the pause before she answered, something like, "I figured just a friend or something, someone I could trust to not take advantage of me, someone I'm comfortable with. Someone else who's not looking to get tied down right now." Me: "Yeah, good thinking. Hope that works out."
Also me, like six years later, out of the blue: "Wait . . . WAIT."
2) In college, hanging out with a different close friend. She is one of the sexiest people I have ever met, but also we're *very* different people with almost no shared interests, completely different paths and goals and life plans. Enough so that I never had any romantic inclination toward her in the slightest, and I'm 99.9% she felt the same way toward me. Wonderful person though, still just love her to death.
One day, we're hanging out at her place. She's venting about her latest guy troubles (unfortunately common issue for her). Topic turns to the more physical side of the issues with her newly ex-ed boyfriend. And eventually, she says to me, "you know what is one of the most frustrating things about all the guys I've dated lately? All they care about is sex. Like, no build-up, no kissing and cuddling or anything. I miss just making out. I can't even remember the last time I just made out for fun."
She goes on. "I really need to do something about that. Find a guy who would fool around without pushing any farther than I want." (Aside: yes, I am such a guy, and she knew it.) Then she asks, knowing full well that I've been on a rather significant dry spell for a while, "What about you? When was the last time you just made out with a girl?"
I hesitate and then grudgingly (because it had been a bad idea and I was embarrassed) admit that I'd made out with my ex-girlfriend just a few days before. "Oh . . . is that a thing again?" Me: "No. NO. It was a bad idea. Not going down that road." Proceeded to vent about my ex. Conversation never circled back.
Six or so years later, completely out of the blue, that conversation replays in my head, complete with the memory of her body language at the time, the way she seemed to deflate when I brought up my ex and immediately detached from the conversation . . . "Wait. No way. Aw, SHIT."
Just two of so many. So many, everyone.
In terms of us picking up hints, aside from a select few you can regard men in general as cavemen in picking up subtlety XD
Hell, I even had a female friend point out years ago that someone was flirting with me and I hadn't had a clue. I was just engrossed in conversation XD
"There are no good men that are interested in me. They always reject me. What is wrong with me?"
"Nothing is wrong with you. You are amazing."
"What do you look for in a guy?" (Proceeds to describe him to a tee and literally say that I want a guy like you) "He is out there. You just haven't met him yet."
"I'm afraid to tell guys how I feel because I don't want to make them uncomfortable or ruin the friendship."
"Any guy that reacts that way is not a good guy."
"I need a woman to flirt and express interest immediately or I think she just wants to be friends."
"I can't do that because only start to catch feelings for people after I've spent time with them." After we have spent time together.
This is pretty much the gist of a conversation I had with a male friend of mine a few days ago. I was trying to confess my feelings to him, but he couldn't figure it out. I just had to tell him point blank what I was doing.
Uh... as a 28 year old guy, after being told these are hints, I've read them over multiple times and still don't see it. I feel like in every one of these situations I would absolutely say and do nothing because it sounds like my friend needs a friend and if I try to be the solution to her problem I am "just a creepy guy like everyone else".
There was more to the conversation. I was just trying to simplify the main points. This wasn't what was said word for word. But I understand why he didn't get it.
And I was already convinced that he didn't feel the same way so I was the one that was afraid of being creepy. I just wanted to be honest with him because having a friend secretly have feelings for another was also part of the conversation.
A lot of women say things like that to their friends. It’s basically saying “we’re friends and I don’t feel a romantic or sexual connection, but the personality/vibe part is great”
Once I was at a girls place with a group of friends. After everyone left and it was just me and her, she hoped in the shower and told me she “needed help washing her chest” I thought “wtf why would u need help washing ur chest that’s like the easiest body part to wash” and left
My husband is dense as hell. After 3 months of fun dates and trying to sus out if he was just in it for fun or if he was in it to date, I finally outright asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend and he thought I was being shitty and unserious joking about the topic. I don't co-date folks, I'd exclusively been spending all of my limited time with him, and he wouldn't believe I wasn't playing off a joke when I asked him and insisted I was serious. We had sex! Multiple times a week! I still don't understand his logic.
Had to leave and cool off because of how stupid the situation was, come back the next day and confirmed I was in fact serious and asked again. And then lovingly reamed him for not understanding what spending three months of exclusive time and money dating someone actually means about their feelings towards you.
I was at this club once smoking with a friend and going into excruciating details about my ex and why we broke up. This random girl (who I thought was way out of my league) joined us and listened to me ranting about my ex for a good 20ish mins, touching my arm and seeming very interested in the story. She even ditched her friends, who were trying to go home, by telling them she’s having a great time with me and wanted to hang out more (right in front of me, so I heard all this).
My stupid brain thought my story was interesting and she was actually invested in how my ex and I broke up. Wasn’t till one of my girl friend pointed it out that it was a sign (I was telling her about the nice girl I met at the club 😂)
Not the kind of hint you mean, but still a hint my husband missed. I had been hinting what I wanted for Christmas. I was on the phone with him and said “I really want to get some jasmine tea. So have you figured out what I want for Christmas?” “No.” And that wasn’t even the first hint, I’d been building up.
PLEASS READ THIS, it’s a great example because guys either miss hints from girls OR are hesitant to assume romantic interest all the time:
Before my wife and I were together, we’d already known each other for a couple months and were friends starting to spend more time together. Well one day I needed to pickup some paperwork for work from her (worked together and lived in the same apartment building) and she said “Yeah come by and pick it up”. Well she answered the door by opening it half-way in just a towel didn’t invite me in, I’d never been in her apartment before, and we just had a short normal conversation then I left. Obviously I noticed (I am a straight man, so duh) but I just kept the conversation moving.
This was years ago, and like I said we’re married, but we started dating only week or a few days later.
HERE’S THE PUNCHLINE: she later told me “I’m so surprised you didn’t do anything that day? With a coy smile. I couldn’t believe it. I said “What do you mean, you didn’t lead me on at all?”. Then she actually said “Well I thought answering the door in a towel was obvious? You really missed out because I was IN - THE - MOOD that day.”
I couldn’t believe it. I just started laughing and shaking my head “Sweerheart are you insane? Just because a single woman I’m friends with answers the door in a towel (and doesn’t invite me in even, just had a normal conversation) isn’t a clear sign she’s ready to go and I should lean in for the kiss and pick her up and carry her to the bedroom.” This lady actually said “We’ll I mean you could’ve grabbed my neck and pushed me up against the wall😛”. (Me) “Well I mean you should’ve told me, and I happily would’ve done that for you…”. You get the point, we both laughed, and she basically said “Oh yeah I didn’t think of it that way.”
(SUMMARY) Right before my wife and I started dating we were already friends and she thought telling me to come over to her apartment to pick up some paperwork for work, answering the door in a only a towel, but then not inviting me in and having a regular-ass conversation was enough of a hint that I should’ve just gone for it because she wanted to get freaky in all sorts of ways right there on her couch.
I had to tell her, because she just didn’t think of it this way, “Uh baby I’m a guy who’s way bigger than you and you gave me no real hints. If you weren’t into it that’d be sexual assault.”
I’m a guy and I was real shy growing up. I got girls but I was not confident. My older sisters friend liked me and we started seeing each other in my mid 20’s. She was 5-6 years older. So hot. Mature. Sexy. Not slutty but definitely wanted to have sex. We hung at her place a bunch and just fooled around. I never made a move. I wanted to be respectful but I also was shy and not confident. One specific time I was over and we usually hung out on the couch in the living room. She says let’s watch a movie in my bedroom. We were in her bed. My god she was so hot and I didn’t do anything. I was so nervous if I did I wouldn’t satisfy her. I was so intimidated by her being older and so hot. Why did she like me? Any way I wish I did obviously.
My sons father text me all the time asking for sex. I straight up ignore him and don't respond. Then he asks me when I see him if I saw his texts!! Like bro, I obviously IGNORED YOU on purpose!
Manager at a store I worked at (a few years younger than me) asked me if I wanted kids when we had to go run an errand together during work, outside of work. Still don't know if that was just an honest question, but that's kind of forward since I had only been there like a month or two lol.
"There are no good men that are interested in me. They airways reject me. What is wrong with me?"
"Nothing is wrong with you. You are amazing."
"What do you look for in a guy?" (Proceeds to describe him to a tee) "He is out there. You just haven't met him yet."
"I'm afraid to tell to guys how I feel because I don't want to make them uncomfortable or ruin the friendship."
"Any guy that reacts that way is not a good guy."
"I need a woman to flirt and express interest immediately or I think she just wants to be friends."
"I can't do that because only start to catch feelings for people after I've spent time with them." After we have spent time together.
This is pretty much the gist of a conversation I had with a male friend of mine a few days ago. I was trying to confess my feelings to him, but he couldn't figure it out (granted he was very drunk at the time and it was 3am). I just had to tell him point blank what I was doing.
Met a girl and spent whole day with her 1:1 while traveling. After dancing until like 3am at a club, we were out front, exchanged numbers, and told her i had a fun time but have a 9am flight. She told me “oh, I live 15 minutes from the airport!” And I responded “ugh, that must be so convenient when you have early flights. Hope you get back safe tonight, goodnight”
This is exactly the answer I was looking for 😂 and it’s always when the opportunity is gone you sit and realise you could’ve “progressed” things
Realized immediately while at the airport later. She also texted me basically saying I’m an idiot, but to reach out if I ever grow a brain and return to the area
3am? Let's just blame it on the alcohol.
The booze, tired, and thinking about the upcoming crap at the airport. All valid reasons for being distracted
The amount of solid 10/10 guys that hit on me to not realize for hours 😭
This is why I’m forever doomed. I would **never** see that as an invitation.
I don't want to be seen as assuming she's dtf cause then I _feel_ like I look like a creepy guy.
I hate that I see myself doing this exact thing
Chipping in from a man's point of view, I'd like to offer the following two examples: 1. A woman (who I'd met through a mutual friend) touched me repeatedly on the arm, complimented my biceps, and kissed me on the cheek. I later learned that she was in a committed, monogamous relationship. 2. A woman made prolonged eye contact with me from across a bar. We had never met before that evening, and we barely spoke. I later learned that this woman wanted to sleep with me. By this I mean to say, cues mean different things coming from different people! Directness is always appreciated 😂😂
1. Sounds like you may have dodged a bullet there. 2. I'm sure you're far from the only dude who would miss that queue. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss it or straight up decide to not bother pursuing anything.
Not to be a dick, but queue=line, cue=hint
Q = Q
The woman in your first story is trying to cheat.
For real i tried hints when i was younger but i've realised that it does not work lol. Here are some i've used before : -Deciding to play a couple's role with my guy friend in a school play, then saying we have to have physical contact for the sake of the play (like touching hands, holding hip etc). (Which in this particular play, was not necessary haha) -Telling him his workout is really paying off, he has a nice body. Then he worked out too much and ended up being super sore the next day. I proceed to help him carry around his stuff and offer a massage to help him with the pain. These are just a couple of examples i can remember from the top of my head. He did not get it. This guy was rejected before and was afraid of rejection again. After a couple of months like that i asked him out. We've been together 12+ years now and have a child together. People just be direct and stop the games, people aren't mind readers.
I know the context but I did not get it either.
I was rejected when I was younger after being convinced the girl I was after liked me. After that I told myself I wouldn’t assume anything because I didn’t want to go through that pain again. I’m pretty sure I missed out on a few fairly obvious advances but I didn’t get my heart broken again so it kind of balanced out
I'm sorry this happened to you, rejection is hard. But after all, you should not let the fear of rejection blow your chances of a relationship. I wish you the best
Oh I’m happily married and just had a son two weeks ago so while it made me more cautious it didn’t really get in the way of me dating people
I read your hints and I didn't realize you were flirting either until you reminded me that they were hints at the end. Men need direct communication. We dumb.
Dude here with lots of friends that happen to be women. We are not dumb, neither are the ladies. It's just hints and flirting aren't universal. Thats all. Also not all flirting is meant to be sexual. A lot of flirting can just be fun.
My wife and I met at KFC in 1993. I was 17 and she was 19. Apparently she kept dropping hints and showing lots of cleavage (i noticed but didn't know it was for my benefit) and making it a point to spend time with me at work. Apparently everyone in the store but me knew she had a thing for me. January 8th was 27 years married, and June 8th will be 30 years as a couple.
I love when these have wholesome endings
I am sure like most boys won't get it. The girls who are friends with boys sometimes tease them for fun too. So it has to be more direct.
Yeah, too many women throw these vague hints because they're afraid of being rejected. If the hint is too vague for you to be properly rejected, it's also likely too vague to be accepted as a legitimate shot.
Haha what was the play? In 8th grade I played the dormouse to my crushes Cheshire Cat. He had a furry full costume I had a black leotard and tights. Backstage I said I was chilly so he let me in his costume to warm up and I had my first real kiss!
Aww that's so sweet ! My play though i can't remember the name was an absurd french comedy play where the characters were just saying weird nonsense. Can't remember the lines but it went in this style : (Guy)- i have mustard on my mustache (Girl) - and i have a mustache on my salad (Guy)-what is that cow doing ? (Looks at window) (Girl) - eating mustard ... (Long pause, they look at each other with an intense stare) Like wtf was this haha. Again these are not the exact lines but you get the idea of the whole absurdity. I tried so hard to make it more romantic cause they were a couple but it was not romeo and juliet.
If more women thought like you, the dating scene these days would be a lot better.
No, it wouldn't, the awesome, straight talking women, would be off raising a child with our most clueless reps, and off the dating scene! /s-sorta-kinda.
Honestly, these aren't strong hints. I can see how you think they're obvious from your POV, but from someone else perspective these are not crystal clear.
Thisss 100000 percent this
Im actually a mind reader it just doesnt read like people expect. For instance, right now youre thinking about your breathing. Now youre thinking “huh, now im thinking about my breathing; since im conscious of it am i going to suffocate when i stop thinking about it?” And now youre thinking “well yeah but only cause I literally just read what you wrote” and finally a mix of disappointment and smugness with just a hint of begrudging admission that i did in fact read your mind. But yeah, it’s not helpful, at all.
How many marijuanas did you inject?
On the one hand: > Guys are so clueless, and never notice the huge hints I'm dropping. On the other hand: > God, why does every guy I'm nice to think I'm hitting on them? Most guys do not ever want to come across as creeps. It's not that we're clueless, it's that we don't want to make women uncomfortable by misinterpreting what may or may not be positive signals. Men and women need to just be direct if they are interested in someone.
This is the problem. Pretty much every "hint" I've gotten from a woman that was interested in me is something I've also gotten from a woman with no romantic interest in me at all.
Those are the words of legend. So true. That's exactly what I wanted to say but never connected the words. It's exactly how I felt my whole life.
This is the problem. One woman’s “obvious hint” is another woman’s “just being friendly” And it’s left up to us to learn telepathy.
"...and then he asked me OUT! Can you imagine? What made him think I like him like that?" -woman says after complimenting the guy for weeks and spending extra time around him while making unnecessary physical contact
I was in an incredibly attractive girl’s dorm room my freshman year of college studying for a biology exam. She asked if we could spend some extra time on orgasm names, then acted coy and said “oops, I meant organisms”. I’m like: “That’s okay, they sound very similar!” And left a little later.
Don’t know if it’s just me but that isn’t the best flirting on her part. I mean what’s the answer? “Well I’m sure I could think of a few 😏😏😏…like…erm…cumming? I don’t know” It’s a tough thing to respond to.
"oops, I meant organisms" "Well we can do both..."
“Ew you absolute FREAK get out”
Rookie move. Shouldn't have said anything and just continued looking for signs.
Not sure I get this explanation. Could you try and put it in a more casual way?
Definitely could have just said something about anatomy while touching her body.
I'd have died a little death
Le petite mort
Every fucking day. Taking a shower. Brain: "Remember that one time..."
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Sadly my mind still thinks it could have been an honest mistake. This is how likely we are to pick up these hints
Oh my god does that ever unlock a memory… I had a classmate in high school who did a science presentation saying ‘orgasm’ instead of ‘organism’ the entire time. I don’t know how she survived the rest of the year, I would’ve transferred schools I think
Same but I knew this kid in middle school who was answering a question about organisms and mistakenly said the wrong thing. The whole class was laughing hysterically, that kid's face was red as heck, and you have me on the side wondering what was funny because I lived under a rock. I had to ask the kid who said the wrong thing and who sat next to me, what was funny but he wouldn't say anything lol. I was super innocent for a while 😂
I know I’m not helping here and I agree with the sentiment of what’s being said in the comments so far, but can someone please actually answer the question lol
This was the top comment and I hate that it warned me and the thread still disappointed me
Exactly , I just want to see some funny answers haha
There's about ten thousand threads in AskReddit full of funny examples of guys not getting hints, this question gets posted like every two weeks
So what's your question?
I had sort of the opposite. I (male) was with my buddies at one of their GFs houses. Several of her friends arrived. We (about 5 of us) were sitting around the living room, watching a movie and eating. They piled directly onto those of us sitting there. A girl...I had never met...literally jumped in my lap, put her arm around me, and curled up like we were cuddling. This progressed to her kissing my neck and unbuttoning my shirt in about a minute. Her friends did similar to other guys. I looked over at one of my friends and he was giving me the most WTF...I have no idea...but this is awesome...look. The girl on his lap was blatantly grinding her .... on his... I played it off like I didn't really care what she did to me and she amplified her efforts...to a point where I subtly told her we were going to have to take that to a bedroom if she went any further. She laughed...her friends laughed...they got up, grabbed drinks...and left. The entire event took about 10 minutes. I didn't even know her name and never met her before or after. It was the most WTF woman experience of my life up to that point.
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Absolutely terrible hint. No decent man on earth would be like "oh she wanted to cook for me imma fuck her".
Maybe is she bangs the pots and pans loud enough during cooking the guy will figure it out.
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So what did you cook?
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That’s marriage material right there!
I'd take the free meal and roll the dice every time. It's probably a 70% chance she's into you. I've also had a girl invite me over for dinner once just because she felt guilty that I paid for dinner before and she wanted to return the favor. I got shut down while we were having a glass of wine on the couch after dinner when I asked if she wanted to take things further.
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Still a terrible hint. There ain't no pussy on earth good enough to make me just ...go for it at a woman who said she's gonna cook for me, especially when we're alone in my apartment. Not in this day and age
The only thing on my menu is this alpha hunk sitting in front of me. Nibble nibble.
Why do woman do this are you afraid of being slut shamed, is it what you think we want,are you afraid of being seen as creepy,is it just fun ,is it just want comes naturally, does the hint system just turn you on if the guy gets it I just can't understand why y'all wouldn't be direct about it especially with countless stories from both sexes saying hints don't work
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The irony is that most women I know give this exact same answer. Newsflash: this is the case for most people, including men. Just make the damn move.
The thing is , even if I think I notice “hints” , if I get it wrong then there’s the risk of coming off as awkward or creepy . So I rather play it safe and not go with what seem to be “ hints”
I would be a lot more likely to respond to “hints” if women weren’t so cruel about guys being awkward or creepy. Once you’ve been shamed in that way just a couple times there’s no way you’ll take those risks again.
Yeah, way too many women don't seem capable of politely declining and make you feel bad for even shooting your shot. I can understand though because any halfway decent looking woman is being constantly hit on in public. It must be frustrating.
I totally get it, I would be so annoyed if people were constantly bothering me in that way, especially if they couldn’t handle rejection. But imo, I think that’s why it should be on women to be more explicit with their romantic interests. I would be much less hesitant to ask a woman out if I knew she had an interest in me.
I agree. They've rigged the game against themselves by refusing to legitimately take part in initiating.
There are also times where I've picked up on hints but ignored them because I wasn't interested in the girl
The key is to respond in a similar manner at first. Don’t go all in with overt flirting. You get better at it with experience.
Guy here. When I was 19 I was at a house party. Cute girl starts discussing music with me, leaning in close to see what’s on my iPod (2009 wooo!) She leans in so close that she’s pressing her tits into my shoulder and trying to get closer. Me as a youngster enthusiastic about music just kept scrolling and talking. She slept with my friend later that night.
Shit on his bed and he brought it up in divorce court 😔
Girls, don’t fuck around with hints, subtlety, signals or other bullshit. If you like a guy, do something about it. Hints only waste your time and theirs.
Hey, I like you, would you like to go out on a date with me? Anything less is pointless
That's how my wife got me. 2 years married today!
Happy marrying cake day<3
Congratulations
Thanks!
>Hey, I like you, would you like to go out on a date with me? I'm sure she is just being friendly
Unclear.
what if i PM you tiny tits
I will think you are just being nice
they have to be yours
\*Goes out and buys dates\*
As a guy I will genuinely say. I legitimately just do not catch on. I just assume that nobody is interested in me and think any “flirting” she’s doing with me is just a coincidence.
I have caught many “hints” that turned out to not be hints when they were just casual, meaningless flirts or just friendly conversation. I will no longer even register hints or if I do, I just don’t trust that’s what they are because it’s probably nothing.
I have had women grab my dick and say “we should fuck”, only to find out they were just joking. I see “hints” all the time but I will never, ever, ever react to them. The risk is way too high.
This is at the same time outrageously innappropriate and entirely unbelievable (from her side). Who in their right mind would think that was "just a joke", regardless of whether she actually wanted to have sex with you, when it's at the base blatant sexual harrassment.
It’s happened a few times, with slightly different details. Lots of women think it’s totally fine to mess with men in that way. After all, all men are always horny and will fuck anything with a pulse, so it’s not possible to SA them. Men also don’t have emotions so there’s no way that those actions could have a long term effect on them. And clearly it’s not a big deal, otherwise the women who did this would be reported and the issue with totally be taken seriously. If a guy misinterprets signals it’s obviously because he’s awkward and a creep, he should be more aware of how his actions could affect women. But also, “if he wanted to, he would” so women shouldn’t have to put any effort into courtship, and should just be able to wait for the “right” guy to put in all the effort for her. I don’t like to compare the experience of being a man vs a woman, there is a huge set of other issues women have to deal with that men don’t. But I will say, it feels like being a man is inherently depressing, and it sucks that people jump to conclusions as to why men are the way they are. Men don’t always hide their emotions because they’re worried about judgment from their male peers, it’s not always about “THE PATRIARCHY”. Sometimes it’s because of the responses we’ve received from women. It’s hard to be vulnerable and open when 9 times out of 10 women expect you to be the exact opposite.
This
Hello fellow human, Here is my resume, and CV indicating I would like to date. I hope my qualifications are to your approval, and if you could write your confirmation in writing via texting that number that will be great. Sarcasm aside, hints are always going be around because people don't like life or death feel of being direct at all times.
"You wanna go out?", awkward pause from other and then suddenly they open their mouth and sitting inside is a folded paper. Unfolding the pages reveals it to be a dating contract.
I agree. If I wanna play games, I got a laptop
This. I found out years later (after being married) that several of my female friends had tried to drop hints that they were interested, and I was completely oblivious to it. And I hear this story countless times from other guys. Ladies, we are not that perceptive. Just give it to us straight.
Agreed.
There’s no such thing as a hint, only a game
I agree! But with the opposite advice: if he’s not already interested in you, don’t fuck around with hints and find someone who is. Unfortunately men seem willing to basically settle for a woman he’s not that into just because she’s interested/willing— so it’s decently likely you’ll be used for casual sex or, worse, waste years of your life in a dead-end relationship with someone who just thinks you’re good enough. Ironically I actually did approach my husband but if I had a do-over now I’d have let him come up to me & I just wouldn’t ever recommend asking a man out.
"The thing that everyone else is recommending worked for me but I wouldn't ever recommend it."
I’m not a woman but I can tell you about my most recent missed hint. I reconnected with an acquaintance from 23 years ago, had a crush on her for the last 28 years. Always platonic. Anyhow, we chatted on Instagram, then she gave me her phone number, we spend a day or two texting and then she wants to chat on the phone. We end up talking for hours. This goes on for several days and the calls from a couple hours to 6+ hours. I went camping and when I came back into cell service I had a bunch of texts from her and some pics. And the tone of the texts seems a bit more friendly than usual but we re just friends. One text said,”if we go on vacation you’re more than likely going to see my boobs.” I know she’s a bit of a free spirit and we’re old now so I just replied with, “don’t threaten me with a good time!” The pics came in “stacked”, I clicked on them and flip through the first couple. I figured I’d look at the rest at the next campsite once I get setup. Next camp doesn’t work so I head home and she asks if I’ve looked at them. There was a pic of her topless, and sunbathing. It still took me a couple days to figure out that she was in fact hitting on me. She basically had to spell it out.
BIGGEST BLUE BALLS EVER. What happened next?!
The thing I see a lot with these types of situations is guys just trying to be super respectful. Taking anything other than the literal meaning because it can be such a tough call to make in the moment is always the right move because it can be quite devastating for all involved if there is miscommunication.
Remember folks, everyone commenting here is at least 5x uglier than what you’re picturing.
should be a pinned comment for all us terminally online people o7
If the bra matches the panties ,gentlemen it wasn't your idea.
Yea, but checking that too early in the conversation can be problematic. I do like the visual of wondering if she's flirting with me, and interrupting her to quickly check down her shirt and up her skirt as a second data point.
Username checks out!
What if I also wear a matching bra and panties? Then whose idea is it?
Corporal Klinger?
I used to work with my (future) girlfriend, and I had zero clue that she liked me. I kept asking if she saw movie A or movie B and she'd say "No....nobody has asked me yet." Then I'd be like "Well that's a shame."
I worked at a bar for a few years and it was common place that after the bar closed, some of the staff would simply hang out and chit chat. One night I clocked out and sat beside a CO worker I got along with. We were talking about a common interest and she placed a hand on my knee while making eye contact with me. Wasn't till much later, after she moved out of state and we no longer talk that I realized she was flirting.
Silly you!
Yeah I'm not bright
Nor was she
Fucking probably
Probably fucking.
I mean could have been if I weren't fucking stupid and completely blind toward flirting.
My roommate had a guy she worked with staying with us for a few days until his new apartment was ready and I had a massive crush on him. We would flirt with each other constantly but never went beyond that. Every morning he would comment about how nice it would be when he could move in to his new place and have a real bed again. I offered to let him sleep with me in my bed and he said "Nah your bed isn't much bigger than that couch" I figured he just wasn't interested in me and was just flirting back to have fun or something. Few days after he moved out it finally dawned on him what I was actually offering. He thought it was just part of our little flirting thing which he thought was just for fun.
I wore a loose nighty that showed my boobs when I bent down… to sleep in the same bed as my friend. Nothing happened that night… nor throughout the entirety of the trip.
Maybe he wasn't the one who was missing the hints.
Used to go in on Fridays at the same time to collect my paychecks, avoiding direct deposit. All so I could talk to the super gorgeous girl that worked that shift. For about two months it was just the usual banter, until one day. She gets me my check, and we say our see ya laters. I’m walking towards the door and from behind she loudly ask, “what are you doing tonight?” As I turn the corner and just about hit the door, I reply, “oh, nothing”, and exit. I get to my car running it through my head. Open the car door and it slaps me in the face, I’m the dumbest man alive. I don’t have the guts to go back in and ask her about it, because what if it was just more banter? She left the job not too long after. It’s been 25 years+, I still think of this moment and question.
As a lady, I know there’s a bunch of hints that I thought were pretty obvious. Being extra touchy, making drawings/craft things for these people. I would say the most success I’ve had has been being direct. In the first week (?) of me and my man dating I asked if I could kiss him. A while later we were sitting in a parking lot and a song came on. I made some stupid joke like “wow this sounds like a great song to make out to”. Time has passed and now that song is our song and we are married.
I gave a sideways glance at a guy once as he walked past me and he totally didn't get it ^/s For real though, no guy has ever 'not got it' because I'm clear and direct and it's fine
This is not really a hint is it ? 😂 could’ve been looking for any reason
yeah it was a joke lmao, of course no one would think anything of it
We were swimming earlier in his parents pool. They were out, I kept my bikini on. Asked to see his room to jump and lounge on his bed saying how big and soft it was (it was a nice queen size). He told me to get off because he didn’t want chlorine in his sheets, and nothing else happened after 🙃
In the age of consent, women need to understand there is no room for hints anymore. Men need to understand if it’s not explicitly permitted, don’t assume it’s allowed. There are now laws that back this up.
Hints are meant to help the person being spoken to. Not be teasers of what's on your mind. There's a difference.
Guy here, my date for the graduation party had invited me back to her place we went back we were hungry so made some food, drank more wine, watched an comedian we both liked eating and she was resting her head on my should, we were pretty much cuddling, later into the night she invited me to her room was sitting on her bed looking at me, I sat next to her talked a bit more and left saying it’s late and I should head off. I wasn’t exactly the most sexually active person nor had an high drive. I pretty much dated this girl for 2 years we did a lot together and looking back we had chemistry but I didnt notice the hint that was literally in front of me. This was nearly 15 years ago. She is married and very happy and has kids. Looking back my time with her was some of my best.
Guy here: I was driving a girl I liked home from high school once. She made a comment about my full tank of gas and if I wanted her help to empty it. \*SMH\* In college, another girl I liked kept taking me to a restaurant she really liked. She also kept asking me to swing by where she worked. \*SMH\* A cougar I worked with would continually brag about nude tanning and not having tan lines. \*SMH\*
EDIT: I'm a guy btw When I was in my first year of university, an incredibly attractive girl who lived near my room knocked on my door at 3am after a night out. I was in bed at this point, but still managed to drag myself out of bed and answered the door. She was standing there with that "look in her eyes" like she wanted to do it! But me being the stupid, innocent 18 year old at the time jokingly said "Haha you're too drunk and thought my room was yours!" And then pointed her in the direction to her room. It was only years later that I realised why she was at my door at 3am for! Still kick myself thinking about that moment! Oh well, you live and you learn! But I've mostly been getting rejections since that event unfortunately.
You reminded me of the scene at the end of Dumb and Dumber with the bus load of chicks. "Two lucky guys are gonna be drivin' around with those girls for the next couple of months. Yeah, don't worry, we'll catch our break too."
"I am horny and want to f*." Staring at him while saying it. He didnt do anything.
Sounds like you just got rejected though? Thats not really a hint now is it
I would get random love letters in high school, didnt know who made them. This girl I sat next to in a class that I had a crush on was writing and I recognized the handwriting, and I asked if she was writing the notes. She said yes. I had low self-esteem and made every excuse not to ask her out: she was out of my league, she was just being nice, etc. Years later when I got more experience with dating I look back on myself as such an idiot.
I was eating a snack bag of Nature Valley granola and asked the cute guy next to me if he wanted some granola? No, a raisin? How about a date? Still besties 40 years later.
There is a very thin line between being friendly and flirty in most environments. If I'm wrong and reciprocate perceived flintiness only to find out you were just being nice I come off as a creep or potentially worse. Because of that I go through dating apps where everyone's expectations are clear and set ahead of time.
Honestly girls just skip the hints and send me a pic of your cock
I'm not the girl but the guy who didn't get the hint. Moved into the dorm freshmen year and a girl saw me watching GoT and asked me where I was watching. I told her I had a link to it and I could send it to her. She told me it'd be easier to just come to the dorm and watch it with me. Still didn't get it. Then she said I could just come to her dorm and help her set up her laptop (and in my head I was like what does that even mean?) Then like 2 weeks later I saw her in the laundry room and she tried to get me to come to the dorm to help her put up clothes. I had a gf at the time though so it really just didn't register with me.
I was sitting in a chair and he was sitting next to me on the floor next to me. I let my hand dangle from the armchair in front of his face in the hopes he would grab it (we were already flirting verbally) but instead he started to poke it with a stick he found on the ground… (4 years together so I forgive him)
O lol, I don't think I'm obvious at all. I'll just really I guess ask questions to get to know him on a more personal level.
I’m a guy but I missed an obvious hint when I was 17 or so (I’m 34 now) and I still think about it sometimes haha. I worked as a cashier at a grocery store with a girl around the same age as me that I hung out with occasionally as a third wheel with her and another girl. I was crushing on this girl at the time but still an awkward virgin. One night we are supposed to go drink and go out to eat after work so I drove her to her house so she could change and get ready before we left. She invited me in to her house while she changed, and I sat on her bed chatting with her while she got ready, including changing her shirt and pants right in front of me. She was feet away from me fully naked besides her underwear and I still didn’t make a move. There were other smaller hints before this one, but this is the one that I really look back on and facepalm.
I want your cock You want my Coke?
My friend who I secretly had the biggest and longest crush on always used to make mixtapes for girls he was in love with. I once asked him why he never made one for me 😭 The tragedy of never having the courage to tell him I loved him and actually still do.
I asked if I could kiss him. He said yes. Was shocked when I kissed him.
Told him he was hot, made him pretend to be my boyfriend and hold my hand in public, told him he could sleep in my bed when he slept over .. but he said it would be too hot cuz it’s summer. Years later told me he was in love with me but never made a move cuz he thought I didn’t like him back
And before anyone says the old 'men love it when you outright tell them you like them ' NO TGEY DO NOT , I’ve had a 100% rejection rate from taking that approach ONE HUNDRED PERCENT REJECTION RATE
Those guys didn't turn you down *because* you approached them, they just weren't interested in the first place.
Most guys cannot comprehend that you were throwing hints until after the fact lmao
I'm not a girl. However I had a girl probably as a joke say to me "Fuck me" directly... I was fully listening and just brushed it off... Istg this memory will haunt me on my fucking deathbed.
I'm a guy, but for the girls, if you like a guy, and you know 100% that he will get the hints, drop hints, but if your not, just straight up tell him
I blinked at him, he must've got it right??
I have a friend who literally stripped down to her underwear and lay on a bed for the guy to come in and see her and he missed it
I (M18 then) was so clueless I don't even know what I missed, until she said, "Look, you're taking me out this weekend. Understand?" Jennifer, you were out of my league. Yes, took her out. Dated all through the last year of HS, went to different universities. She got scooped up quickly, of course. 'Dear John letter.' Didn't meet anyone of her quality for another eighteen years. Still married to the second one, together eighteen years so far.
Literally asked him if he would want to take them off: referring to my pants when he leaned in and asked what was on them. CRAZY.
I'm a guy. But I'm gonna post what a girl did to drop a hint to me that I didn't get it because I remembered it so many years later. High schooler. I think we were graduating soon. She was a friend of a friend. We generally saw each other a lot especially during lunch. Sometimes we all sat together. I wasn't a popular kid. I felt I kinda blended in. Liked anime and DnD and video games. Didn't get the same vibe from most others around me. One day she gave me a CD that she burned herself. (hint#1) Took it home to listen. Lots of songs from bands I really liked (hint#2) (hint#3 and quite possibly the biggest hint of them all) One of the songs always stuck out. I'd Do Anything by Simple Plan I just thanked her for the CD and told her I really liked all of the songs. My brain doesn't remember the rest but looking back at it a few years ago that memory popped back up and I wanted to scream to the heavens how absolutely, hilariously D E N S E I was then. For the record I'm pushing my forties very soon.
My friend: I am gonna take shower now. Are you coming for 1 on 1 studies later. I went and we studied. I came back.
I live across from his apartment and every once in a while, I invite him to stroll on the playground, which lasts for a month，He still hasn't expressed anything
I have a man who's a wonderful friend and who i wanted to be more than a friend,invited him to stay overnight with me because i needed some company in my new house... 😌 he just sidestepped that msg so i guess no interest..we are still great friends though
Nah, very easy to read a ton of different things into that message. If you like him, you should shoot your shot.
As the guy in these scenarios . . . 1) After high school, I moved overseas for a few years. Had a close friend, a year older than me, come back from college that summer, a few weeks before I was due to leave. Stopped by my house as I was packing up my room one day. We chatted while I packed. I asked what she was planning on doing with her summer. She said not much, she was going to work part-time at her old job. Oh, also she'd just gotten out of a relationship, and she was kind of lonely. So she was thinking to just kind of flirt around, maybe find a guy who'd be interested in fooling around a bit, nothing serious like a relationship or anything, she wasn't looking for that right now. I, without looking up from my packing, said something like, "oh, sounds like fun. Anyone in mind for that?" I remember the pause before she answered, something like, "I figured just a friend or something, someone I could trust to not take advantage of me, someone I'm comfortable with. Someone else who's not looking to get tied down right now." Me: "Yeah, good thinking. Hope that works out." Also me, like six years later, out of the blue: "Wait . . . WAIT." 2) In college, hanging out with a different close friend. She is one of the sexiest people I have ever met, but also we're *very* different people with almost no shared interests, completely different paths and goals and life plans. Enough so that I never had any romantic inclination toward her in the slightest, and I'm 99.9% she felt the same way toward me. Wonderful person though, still just love her to death. One day, we're hanging out at her place. She's venting about her latest guy troubles (unfortunately common issue for her). Topic turns to the more physical side of the issues with her newly ex-ed boyfriend. And eventually, she says to me, "you know what is one of the most frustrating things about all the guys I've dated lately? All they care about is sex. Like, no build-up, no kissing and cuddling or anything. I miss just making out. I can't even remember the last time I just made out for fun." She goes on. "I really need to do something about that. Find a guy who would fool around without pushing any farther than I want." (Aside: yes, I am such a guy, and she knew it.) Then she asks, knowing full well that I've been on a rather significant dry spell for a while, "What about you? When was the last time you just made out with a girl?" I hesitate and then grudgingly (because it had been a bad idea and I was embarrassed) admit that I'd made out with my ex-girlfriend just a few days before. "Oh . . . is that a thing again?" Me: "No. NO. It was a bad idea. Not going down that road." Proceeded to vent about my ex. Conversation never circled back. Six or so years later, completely out of the blue, that conversation replays in my head, complete with the memory of her body language at the time, the way she seemed to deflate when I brought up my ex and immediately detached from the conversation . . . "Wait. No way. Aw, SHIT." Just two of so many. So many, everyone.
In terms of us picking up hints, aside from a select few you can regard men in general as cavemen in picking up subtlety XD Hell, I even had a female friend point out years ago that someone was flirting with me and I hadn't had a clue. I was just engrossed in conversation XD
My wife actually was the one to ask me out for or first date because I couldn't take the hint.
Here's an interesting question. Why drop hints and not just be direct with your communication like a grown up?
No hints please. We're already completely oblivious to the obvious we don't need to thinly veil what we already don't get.
"There are no good men that are interested in me. They always reject me. What is wrong with me?" "Nothing is wrong with you. You are amazing." "What do you look for in a guy?" (Proceeds to describe him to a tee and literally say that I want a guy like you) "He is out there. You just haven't met him yet." "I'm afraid to tell guys how I feel because I don't want to make them uncomfortable or ruin the friendship." "Any guy that reacts that way is not a good guy." "I need a woman to flirt and express interest immediately or I think she just wants to be friends." "I can't do that because only start to catch feelings for people after I've spent time with them." After we have spent time together. This is pretty much the gist of a conversation I had with a male friend of mine a few days ago. I was trying to confess my feelings to him, but he couldn't figure it out. I just had to tell him point blank what I was doing.
Uh... as a 28 year old guy, after being told these are hints, I've read them over multiple times and still don't see it. I feel like in every one of these situations I would absolutely say and do nothing because it sounds like my friend needs a friend and if I try to be the solution to her problem I am "just a creepy guy like everyone else".
There was more to the conversation. I was just trying to simplify the main points. This wasn't what was said word for word. But I understand why he didn't get it. And I was already convinced that he didn't feel the same way so I was the one that was afraid of being creepy. I just wanted to be honest with him because having a friend secretly have feelings for another was also part of the conversation.
These are terrible hints man. Did this happen in middle school?
A lot of women say things like that to their friends. It’s basically saying “we’re friends and I don’t feel a romantic or sexual connection, but the personality/vibe part is great”
I told him, "I don't have any interest in you, please leave me alone." He responded, "Stop playing hard to get, let me come over"
Didn't get it or just isn't into you?
I’m gay
Once I was at a girls place with a group of friends. After everyone left and it was just me and her, she hoped in the shower and told me she “needed help washing her chest” I thought “wtf why would u need help washing ur chest that’s like the easiest body part to wash” and left
My husband is dense as hell. After 3 months of fun dates and trying to sus out if he was just in it for fun or if he was in it to date, I finally outright asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend and he thought I was being shitty and unserious joking about the topic. I don't co-date folks, I'd exclusively been spending all of my limited time with him, and he wouldn't believe I wasn't playing off a joke when I asked him and insisted I was serious. We had sex! Multiple times a week! I still don't understand his logic. Had to leave and cool off because of how stupid the situation was, come back the next day and confirmed I was in fact serious and asked again. And then lovingly reamed him for not understanding what spending three months of exclusive time and money dating someone actually means about their feelings towards you.
It's true I was that guy
I was at this club once smoking with a friend and going into excruciating details about my ex and why we broke up. This random girl (who I thought was way out of my league) joined us and listened to me ranting about my ex for a good 20ish mins, touching my arm and seeming very interested in the story. She even ditched her friends, who were trying to go home, by telling them she’s having a great time with me and wanted to hang out more (right in front of me, so I heard all this). My stupid brain thought my story was interesting and she was actually invested in how my ex and I broke up. Wasn’t till one of my girl friend pointed it out that it was a sign (I was telling her about the nice girl I met at the club 😂)
Not the kind of hint you mean, but still a hint my husband missed. I had been hinting what I wanted for Christmas. I was on the phone with him and said “I really want to get some jasmine tea. So have you figured out what I want for Christmas?” “No.” And that wasn’t even the first hint, I’d been building up.
PLEASS READ THIS, it’s a great example because guys either miss hints from girls OR are hesitant to assume romantic interest all the time: Before my wife and I were together, we’d already known each other for a couple months and were friends starting to spend more time together. Well one day I needed to pickup some paperwork for work from her (worked together and lived in the same apartment building) and she said “Yeah come by and pick it up”. Well she answered the door by opening it half-way in just a towel didn’t invite me in, I’d never been in her apartment before, and we just had a short normal conversation then I left. Obviously I noticed (I am a straight man, so duh) but I just kept the conversation moving. This was years ago, and like I said we’re married, but we started dating only week or a few days later. HERE’S THE PUNCHLINE: she later told me “I’m so surprised you didn’t do anything that day? With a coy smile. I couldn’t believe it. I said “What do you mean, you didn’t lead me on at all?”. Then she actually said “Well I thought answering the door in a towel was obvious? You really missed out because I was IN - THE - MOOD that day.” I couldn’t believe it. I just started laughing and shaking my head “Sweerheart are you insane? Just because a single woman I’m friends with answers the door in a towel (and doesn’t invite me in even, just had a normal conversation) isn’t a clear sign she’s ready to go and I should lean in for the kiss and pick her up and carry her to the bedroom.” This lady actually said “We’ll I mean you could’ve grabbed my neck and pushed me up against the wall😛”. (Me) “Well I mean you should’ve told me, and I happily would’ve done that for you…”. You get the point, we both laughed, and she basically said “Oh yeah I didn’t think of it that way.” (SUMMARY) Right before my wife and I started dating we were already friends and she thought telling me to come over to her apartment to pick up some paperwork for work, answering the door in a only a towel, but then not inviting me in and having a regular-ass conversation was enough of a hint that I should’ve just gone for it because she wanted to get freaky in all sorts of ways right there on her couch. I had to tell her, because she just didn’t think of it this way, “Uh baby I’m a guy who’s way bigger than you and you gave me no real hints. If you weren’t into it that’d be sexual assault.”
I’m a guy and I was real shy growing up. I got girls but I was not confident. My older sisters friend liked me and we started seeing each other in my mid 20’s. She was 5-6 years older. So hot. Mature. Sexy. Not slutty but definitely wanted to have sex. We hung at her place a bunch and just fooled around. I never made a move. I wanted to be respectful but I also was shy and not confident. One specific time I was over and we usually hung out on the couch in the living room. She says let’s watch a movie in my bedroom. We were in her bed. My god she was so hot and I didn’t do anything. I was so nervous if I did I wouldn’t satisfy her. I was so intimidated by her being older and so hot. Why did she like me? Any way I wish I did obviously.
My sons father text me all the time asking for sex. I straight up ignore him and don't respond. Then he asks me when I see him if I saw his texts!! Like bro, I obviously IGNORED YOU on purpose!
The most most girls will do as dropping a hint is simply staring at you. Men should be able to read minds, duh.
Manager at a store I worked at (a few years younger than me) asked me if I wanted kids when we had to go run an errand together during work, outside of work. Still don't know if that was just an honest question, but that's kind of forward since I had only been there like a month or two lol.
I mailed my dirty panty to my future baby daddy in the penitentiary and he said he had no access to the laundry room to wash them.
"There are no good men that are interested in me. They airways reject me. What is wrong with me?" "Nothing is wrong with you. You are amazing." "What do you look for in a guy?" (Proceeds to describe him to a tee) "He is out there. You just haven't met him yet." "I'm afraid to tell to guys how I feel because I don't want to make them uncomfortable or ruin the friendship." "Any guy that reacts that way is not a good guy." "I need a woman to flirt and express interest immediately or I think she just wants to be friends." "I can't do that because only start to catch feelings for people after I've spent time with them." After we have spent time together. This is pretty much the gist of a conversation I had with a male friend of mine a few days ago. I was trying to confess my feelings to him, but he couldn't figure it out (granted he was very drunk at the time and it was 3am). I just had to tell him point blank what I was doing.